[2021-10-29] My A Hole Is BLEEDING -( [Jm3Ew2iwDg4]

Welcome back to my stream.

Wow, it feels like it's been ages since I

last came on YouTube.

When was my last stream? It's like a week

ago now. One stream a week.

So if you watched my last stream, you may

remember I got a hacksaw because I was

having problems with my love doll.

Um, my, my idea to fix the metal

rod didn't work. Oh my

God, spamming already. Who's this spamming

Chinese?

Yeah, so the plan was— the problem was

there's a metal rod inside of the rubber

you-know-what, and it had tore through the

tip of the rubber, and that was a bit

dangerous. So my plan was I was going to

cut the tip off so that the metal

rod would be further down inside of the

rubber you-know-what. So then a new

problem happened where when I finally

sawed off the top, the tip of the metal

rod, which took ages, it left a

very jagged and sharp new tip. And it

didn't really solve the problem because I

still had to like thumb the tip in,

which would end up pushing down to

where the new metal tip was, so it didn't

really solve the problem at all. In fact,

it made it way worse because now it has

like a really razor-sharp jagged edge,

jagged tip, which I didn't put in. So the

next plan was I tried to pull the rod out,

so I cut all the way down to the shaft,

to the bottom of the shaft of the

Uni-Watt, and I pulled the rod out

Thinking, I don't need the rod. Turns out

you do need the rod because without the

metal rod, the rubber you-know-what

doesn't stay in. It keeps slipping out.

So I got this metal rod sticking

out of the you-know-what, and I had a new

plan. I would glue bits of cloth onto

the end of the tip to make it round and

soft and safe. And then I pushed the metal

rod back into the you-know-what and then

somehow glue the whole thing back

together. So I bought super glue and

I bought these rubber bands and

I rubber band— I put the cloth onto the

top of the tip and it was all safe and

soft and I put the metal rod back into

the, the rubber And then I used the rubber

bands to, to like

hold it all together. You know, like

those, those pork roast pork things that

get tied together with string? It looked

just like one of those. And then I used

super glue, which was a really dumb idea,

to, to close it all back up.

And the problem with the super glue is it

made it all hard. And kind

of, you know, when super glue dries, it

gets really hard and— what's

the word— kind of hard and

jagged. So then it turned the soft rubber

into like hard and jagged rubber, which

was even worse. Couldn't put that up

inside, so I had to like snip off the

edges of where the glue had dried. I

didn't even need the glue because the

elastic bands were holding it all together

perfectly fine. I should have just put the

elastic bands without the glue, but it was

too late. And I had glued— put the glue

onto the cloth as well, so they're like

hard bits of cloth and rubber all glued

together. I tried my best to snip off the

edges, and I thought it was okay.

And I tried it again, and I lubed it all

up and put it in. And climax and finish.

But when I was pulling it out, there was

red on, on where

the cuts on the incision lines, there was

like red. I didn't really feel any pain,

so I didn't think there was anything

wrong, but there was a bit of blood on

the tip where the glue had dried.

But luckily it wasn't really severe

because no, no, no more blood was coming

out when I put my finger up there. And I

pooped without any problems, so maybe it's

just a tiny little scratch, but still a

bit scary. I put the thing back in the

box, so I might have a guest coming around

sometime soon. I put the doll back in the

box, and funnily, the box fits exactly in

this lower shelf. Look at this,

it fits exactly in there, snug.

Amazing. So yeah, really annoying,

really, really annoying because that thing

was bloody expensive, £299, and the damn

thing broke before I even started using

it. Probably can't get a refund because

I've butchered the thing so badly and it's

disgusting. And it really sucks because

it was really good, it felt amazing. To

ride it. So I'm not sure what to do. I

don't want to buy a new one because even

if I bought a new one, it might have the

same problem. It's a really dumb idea to

put a metal rod inside of soft rubber like

that. And I don't know if it was a

manufacturing problem. Maybe they didn't

get the rod centered in the middle of it

and it was like too near to the edge. I

don't know if it being in the center of

the you-know-what would have made it less

likely to tear through the top.

Oh, such a pain in the backside,

literally.

What do I do? So I got a new thing

coming in the post. Uh,

this time it's just the Dildo, but it's

got a suction cup. So my plan is

I'm going to attach it to the floor and

then, and then have the love doll

on the floor as well. I just don't know

how strong the suction is and then how

uncomfortable it's going to be to do on

the floor. If I can't do on the floor, I

need something solid that is portable,

like a plank of wood. I need a plank of

wood really, so I could attach the suction

cup to the plank of wood and have that on

the bed and then kind of Use

my legs to anchor the, the platform or the

plank down so it doesn't move too much.

Oh, it's so difficult. Use a wall? It just

won't be very comfortable. I really want

to like get on top and

like ride it. Standing up

and doing it doesn't really sound great.

Not easy being gay. How do the gay guys do

it? Because the most important thing is

you need, you need a standing flaccid—

not flaccid, a standing phallic

object that can stand up on its own,

doesn't fall over. And, um,

it's heavily weighted down, and the Love

Doll was great for that because it's like

a big heavy lump of rubber. But the stupid

thing isn't good. It's a stupid metal rod.

See the kind of problems I have in my life

now? Now that I don't have a wife to

finger me.

But it felt so good when it was working

properly. I, I just made it worse.

It wasn't too bad when it was just a bit

sticking out the top. Ah, I should have

just rubber banded some cloth onto the

end, stuffed it back in, and then rubber

banded it, because it doesn't really

matter if the rubber bands are on it. The

rubber bands stay in place.

Why is it so difficult?

Luckily, the OnlyFans paid off big time.

I think I got like 20,

22 new signups to my OnlyFans from the

video. So that's like 22 times, that's

like $200. And then I made a premium video

which I sold And I think about 15 people

bought it for $20 each. So I, I easily

made my money back. So I,

I did what I wanted to achieve. I

accomplished my objective, but I wanted to

use the thing as well, not just use it a

couple of times and then put it back in

the box. I wanted to actually get my

money's worth out of it.

Also, it's really good for working out.

My legs were just destroyed after the

first day because you have to do so much

squatting. My knees are just so out of

shape. If you want to get motivated

to do squat— squats and leg exercises,

get one of those. It just shows how unfit

my legs are. Can't really be surprised

when I just sit in my chair all day long

every day and I just go out once a week.

Yeah, I'm very, very unfit because

I found a way to only have to go shopping

once a week, which means I don't really

need any— there's no reason to go outside

apart from that one time a week.

A bit frustrating with it because every

time you use a toy, um, I start aching and

I've got to wait a few days to recover.

Otherwise it's a bit scary

what you might tear.

A bit scary.

So what is the solution? Hopefully this

suction cup thing, um, is a bit

of an improvement. Plus it's cheap, it's

only £20. Very disappointed

with the Love Doll. You don't have this

problem when, when you're not gay and you

just want a hole. I mean, I could use the

hole, I guess. It's just, it feels way

better riding it. The hole's okay, but

it's not as good.

Aren't you afraid of heights? I am, but

it's a solid, stable building.

I'm not gonna fall out the window. If

there was no window here, then I'd be

really scared. This is just— it would just

be a massive gaping hole.

Imagine if the whole building just toppled

over. That'd be crazy.

So yeah, what do I do with this stuff?

I also can't decide if I want to stay here

or not or go to some foreign country. I

just don't see the point of going to a

foreign country right now.

There's no girls. Moving to a different

country is not going to solve my problems.

If I can't get what I want in this city,

I don't think just moving to a different

city is going to solve the problem.

And I'm getting pretty comfy here. I don't

think I could get a nice place like this

for this price in a foreign country as a

tourist. I'm not going to be able to rent

an apartment in like Ukraine or someplace.

I don't know, I, I think I'm feeling

pressured to

provide entertainment, and the

only interesting thing I can think of

doing is moving entirely to a new country,

but I don't really feel like that's going

to make much difference. In terms of views

anymore either. The problem isn't moving

about, the problem is not finding a

girlfriend who wants to be on camera and

do stuff together.

I don't know,

I think I have 2 months left until I have

to decide. I think they said they expect

me to pay for the next rent. After 4

months, so it's still a bit of time. It's

just I still don't know what I want to do.

Even if I go to a different country, it's

just going to be the same, isn't it?

Unless by magic someone messages me who's

cute and also lives in the area.

It seems unlikely.

I don't know, I don't know what to do

anymore. I don't really feel like

traveling, and maybe things will

be a bit different next year after

Christmas. I don't know, it's just

traveling now just seems a bit Bit

of a pain. Stupid people standing outside

my room talking.

Just feeling very confused these days. I

don't know what I want. If I could get a

girlfriend here, I'd be pretty happy just

staying here, to be honest, because

Manchester has everything else I want.

It's got self-checkouts, it's got modern

buildings, cost of living's pretty good.

I don't think I'd be happier in like

Athens or Kiev.

Is that the capital? I don't know, some

capital of some other country. I don't

really see myself being happier. I'd

probably be more stressed out and then

everything's weird and new and then

probably more difficult and probably more

expensive because I have to stay in like a

hotel apartment.

It just seems to make more sense to just

stay here, but then I'm so bored.

It's either be really bored here or then

just be really stressed out and

uncomfortable in a different country.

It's either option 1, which is shit,

or option 2, which is also shit.

I wish I should go back to Japan and be

married again. It was so much easier.

Fuck's sake, can't I go back in time a

Still can't go back to Japan. They're not

reopening. Stupid country.

What are they scared of? Oh no, we got 10

new cases, shut down the whole country.

You know, they're talking about first

reopening to students and business

travelers. I wonder if, if like a language

school would count as a student.

I wouldn't mind paying because it's like

¥1.5 million for a 2-year course, which is

only about $15,000

for 2 years. It's not too expensive.

Oh, my second vaccine is next week as

well. I don't know if I want to get it.

If I'm not going anywhere, what's the

point getting it? But then what's

the point of putting it off?

Got to start thinking. Time's running out.

If I stay here another 6 months, that's

like staying here until next July.

I made a comment and you're almost having

a tantrum about it. What comment?

I don't even want to meet girls right now

because my fucking skin's still bad.

How can the skin not get better

over— it's been nearly 2 months now. It

started when I first got the laptop,

which was nearly 2 months ago. 2 months

I've had terrible skin. It's starting

to look a bit better, but I still got

these 2 big ones in the corner of my

See, I got a big one here as

well now. I squeezed it and all this blood

came out. Have I tried wearing sun

cream— sunscreen? No, because I don't go

outside.

I just don't want to meet a girl and my

face looks disgusting.

I keep getting them around here.

First I got loads up here, it was like a

mustache of pimples, and then they kind of

moved down. Where are they gonna go next?

I don't know. I started putting cucumber

on it and it kind of soothes the area. I

think cucumber's anti-inflammatory.

And still been washing my face,

put moisturizer on. I don't know. Trying

to drink more water doesn't seem to make

much difference. So even if there

were girls who want to meet, I don't even

want to meet them. So now I don't know if

I'm getting pimples because I'm depressed,

or I'm depressed because I'm getting

pimples. I'm depressed because I

can't meet girls, and then I can't meet

girls because I'm depressed, which is

giving me pimples, which is making me

Depressed. Ah, it's like an endless cycle.

Am I eating healthy? I think my diet's not

too bad. For lunch, I have cucumber

lettuce salad chorizo sandwich with packet

of crisps, and the packet of crisps is not

like a massive bag. It's just just

like a small little bag.

What's wrong with that? Vegetarian. And

then for dinner I have rice and then some

meat and some vegetables.

Why does the video look blurrier? Maybe

the lens is smudged. Oh, I got this

elastic band around it because I

lost my selfie sticker.

Oh no, the elastic band's not on the lens.

In case it suddenly

flips around again, you get a massive view

of my up-close pimples. Is that better?

I think that's

better.

Oh yeah, I've got a bunch of camera

lenses. We can try that out in a minute.

It's got a 20x telescopic lens. That

should be interesting.

My skin never used to be this bad. I

always had like a couple pimples here and

there, but I've been having, what, 5 or 6

pretty big ones all at the same time? Not

little ones that you just squeeze and it's

gone the next day. These are like big firm

lumps. That take weeks

to go. And sometimes there's multiple

pimples in the same one and they all like

ooze out. It's disgusting. I don't know

why my skin's so bad. Maybe it's just like

a physical representation of my mental

state, which is pretty bad. Not gonna lie.

I don't— I don't think I felt this

miserable in my whole life.

Consistently for so many months. It's just

like shit after shit, nothing good

to talk about, no good news.

How long can it go on for?

I know life's ups and downs, but where are

the bloody ups? There's not been one

single fucking up since

I got here.

Only good news is my Chef Daniel channel

is, um, getting pretty good views now.

Chef Daniel gets more views than Hiding in

My Room gets recently.

I made a video about Back 4 Blood, got 15K

views. I made a video about Darkest

Dungeon 2, it has 18,000 views.

Can't believe it.

So now after I got success just from

talking about video games, it's kind of

flipped my whole mentality. When it comes

to making videos. Because before I was

like, oh my God, I need to do something

crazy like cheat on my wife and go to

another country and then become homeless

to get views. And now I'm like, why bother

doing all that stupid stuff when I won't

get the same views as I used to get? I get

more views just sitting in my apartment

making a stupid review of a video game for

I feel like I, I went to such extreme

lengths and made such massive sacrifices

for such little returns. Like, oh,

50,000 views for destroying my

life. So fucking annoying.

Other people like Trisha Paytas,

Nikocado, get millions upon millions of

views for the stuff they do.

My bloody channel dies instead.

It's like my sacrifices, my efforts didn't

pay off and everyone got bored anyway.

Even my latest video going to pick up my

love doll barely has 10K views. So what's

the point? I only made $40. I made

more money just like making a stupid

review of a game.

It's just really demotivated me

to do like, um, crazy stuff or

stuff that takes a lot of effort, like

going to a whole new country and

embarrassing myself by meeting a girl and

getting rejected for content. It just

seems kind of pointless now.

Doesn't seem worth the effort. If I went

all the way to some random country and got

rejected again, it probably won't even get

20K views.

So it's kind of been very confusing

experiencing that.

I guess it's nice. I always wanted to like

wean myself off of the main channel

content and find something else to to do.

I just wonder how long the Chef Daniel

trick can work because I've been doing it

for 3 years and the gaming community is so

stupid. Oh my God, I've trolled a lot of

communities during my time on YouTube. I

trolled like the, the woke feminist SJWs

and the J-vlogging community and the anime

community. But my God, the gaming

community is like the most toxic,

hateful, idiotic community I've ever

trolled. They get so butthurt just if you

say, I don't like this game, it's a

rubbish game. They write paragraphs and

essays about why you're wrong. Excuse me,

actually this game is not a sequel to the

game that was made in 2010. They're such a

bunch of fucking losers. Fuck me, Jesus

Christ. Gamers, bunch of fucking sad

idiots.

Oh, like, this is just your opinion, this

is not a review. Suck a dick,

fucking loser gamers.

But they're so easy to troll. All you have

to say is this game is rubbish, the

graphics are really bad, and they fall for

the bait every time.

I don't really feel that annoyed when

I get all this hate about my video game

stuff because, because I'm trolling on

purpose and I'm making it really negative

on purpose. So I don't really feel

emotionally invested in those videos like

I used to feel, because obviously in the

beginning of my YouTube days I was

emotionally invested because they were

genuine and I wasn't trolling in the

But then if you feel emotionally invested

in your videos and then you get a load of

shit for what you've said and people are

attacking you, it does feel bad, which is

why I kind of turned to trolling because

it, it's like, um, defense mechanism,

I guess.

But they keep saying stuff like, oh, this

isn't a review, this is just your opinion.

Isn't that what a review is? How can you

have a non-opinionated review then?

How are you supposed to say if something

is good or bad or not then? It doesn't

make any sense. Yeah, obviously it's my

opinion. Who else's opinion is it? I've

got to draw from my opinions to be able to

make a point, don't I?

I had my best month, um, in October

in the whole year, I think, when it comes

to revenue. Jesus, I made so much money in

October. I'm so happy.

Smashed my goal of $2,000, and I'm

currently— I think I'm nearly at $2,300

for this month. I did so well. Chef Daniel

channel did really well. I managed to

maintain hiding in my room at a pretty

stable level of income, and my

OnlyFans is just doing really well after

the Love Doll publicity stunt. Really got

people— more people to join up to it.

What's the text on the white building?

I think it's like Great Northern Railway

Company Good Warehouse. I think it's a

really old building, used to be a

warehouse.

Also, my Ford investment is doing really

well. Have you seen Ford stock? They,

they're really going up. I think I've made

like 30% return on Ford.

Quite happy with my Ford pick. I sold

about 75% of it, so I've

got— still got £1,000,

£1,200 in it. I'll just leave that in it,

you know, just in case it carries on going

up.

Um, but yeah,

the gaming community are very

argumentative. They— I mean, the points I

make in the videos, they're not trolling.

They're what I actually think of the game.

Even though I make it ultra negative,

but they want to argue with you so badly.

What is with like these these internet

people wanting to argue with people so

I think people just get off on telling

other people that they are wrong, and

here's why. And they want to feel

intellectually superior.

Like my Darkest Dungeon 2 critique.

I can't remember what I said actually.

Yeah, I just said I didn't like the new,

the new game mode where you're in the

stagecoach and you don't have a hamlet to

upgrade. Let me just get They kept

going on and on about why I'm wrong and

blah blah blah.

If I say I don't like something, how am I

wrong for not liking it? It's not wrong,

it's just my opinion. I don't like it.

Would I make a Discord again? I don't

know, it depends. Do you think those

annoying trolls would come back? Don't you

feel like the majority of the haters

and toxic troll viewers have gone now?

I think I— in, in losing most of my

viewership, I think I've also lost a lot

of the toxic people because I, I notice a

lot less toxicity in the comments section.

I barely have to ban anyone these days. I

think I already banned everyone that I

wanted to ban. But the toxicity

has just gone down loads with the decline

of my channel, so I don't know if they

would come back if I made a new Discord.

They're probably still floating around on

the other Discords.

I don't know. I, I deleted the Discord to

like show good faith towards Chihiro,

because the Discord was like one of the

biggest problems between me and Chihiro

during the marriage. I thought if I could

prove to her that I don't need Discord and

I can delete it and live happily without

it, maybe, maybe it would help in

some way. But I don't know, maybe that

ship sailed now.

Your reviews are only negative. It's

because when I made non-negative videos,

they don't get any views. I made a

positive video about New World I

made some positive videos about, you know,

Star Wars Galaxies, but it's a 20-year-old

game, 10-year-old game, no one cares.

I've made— tried to make positive videos,

but the negative ones always get 10 times

more views, and I'm trying to pay for rent

here.

My ability to pay for rent and food is

more important than stupid gamer,

gamer community liking me or not liking

The problem is you just need to wait until

popular games are released and then get a

review out on the day it's released. That

is the trick. My Age of Empires 4 review

is not really working though. It might,

might take a few days, I don't know.

You mocked Chihiro with the maid video. I

didn't even think many people would

notice. I'm surprised someone actually

brought it up. Yeah, in the end of the

maid video where I do the fake interview

with the Japanese ex-maid worker, the

voice is Chihiro's voice from the Why I

Hate My Husband video. I just sped it up

so So it sounded squeaky.

Not many people noticed. I guess not many

people watched it until the end. That maid

cafe video flopped as well. How come

people like Nobita can do dark side of the

porn industry and then go viral? My stupid

maid cafe doesn't even get more than 20k.

Nobita always making these videos about

porn stars and pornography and

prostitution going viral all the time.

Annoying. Nothing I do ever goes viral.

I guess I gotta just be happy with my fake

video game reviews. They do okay.

I don't even pay for the game. I just

download it from Steam, play an hour, and

then refund it. I paid for Darkest Dungeon

2 because I actually like Darkest Dungeon.

I played Darkest Dungeon all the time

after my dad died and moved back to Japan.

I had it on the iPad and it was only about

£10, so I'm not really bothered.

Just, um, I don't know what else to do for

the channel. Simon and Martina video

did really well as well, 40K views.

Nice. I just

feel a bit sad videos about other topics

now get way more views than videos about

myself. See, obviously it feels way better

to get most of the views about from videos

about yourself. So it feels like people

care and are interested in you.

I've got nothing interesting going on

anymore to make videos about.

Got to resort to other methods, meth—

methods, I guess.

Also, one benefit of traveling is it

kind of makes you seem like an interesting

person. Then you get experiences, and when

you meet people, you can say, oh, I went

there and it was like this.

It's like if you're, if you're a boring

person like me, traveling is an easy way

to make yourself seem less of a boring

person.

What are we eating today? I'm trying a new

recipe. I'm gonna make Chinese stir-fry

noodle therapy.

I don't really want to go to therapy.

Isn't this the same as what therapy is?

Just me talking.

I'm against therapy because I just don't

really think it would help.

I don't need someone to explain to me why

I feel the way I feel, because I'm pretty

sure I feel confident about why I feel the

way I feel. I don't

really know what a therapist would

recommend right now. My biggest problem is

my fucking skin.

I want to like meet people and be more

sociable, but not when I look like this.

If my skin would just not look so hideous,

maybe I'd put more effort into, into

trying to meet some of my Tinder matches,

because some of them do want to meet. I

matched this one girl, she seems quite

interested. And we talked about meeting,

but I haven't said let's meet up next week

because I might have a massive pimple next

So yeah, the skin problem's really

A pimple or 2. I wish it was a pimple or

2. I have like 5 or 6 pimples ongoing at

the same time these days.

Look, see all this?

I've got

like a cluster of them around my mouth.

I really don't know why. I'm not eating

anything differently.

Maybe in a few days it'll be a bit better,

but it— my skin's been like this nonstop

for nearly 2 months. There's not even been

like a few days where it looks a bit

better. It heals and then a new area

Starts erupting.

I thought when I got older I wouldn't have

these problems anymore.

I'm doomed.

Do I invest in skincare? I do. I've got

face wash, I've got charcoal activated

exfoliator, I've got moisturizer. This

acne treatment thing doesn't do anything

apart from just burns and smells funny.

Pillowcase, I wash that once a week at

least. I washed it today, washed my whole

bedding.

Yeah, I got salicylic acid here.

Zinc oxide, salicylic acid.

It doesn't do anything. You apply it

to the spot and then it kind of stings and

then it dries and flakes. And the next

morning I don't notice anything different.

Why not find a gay guy? Because I'm not

really gay. I don't find guys attractive.

It would just be weird. I'd never get to

the point where I bring a guy back here.

There's just no way.

The only way anything would happen is if

one magically appeared naked whilst

I was in bed, but there's just no scenario

where I would bring a guy up here. It's

just weird.

I think the cause of the pimple is,

is mainly my mental state, which is not

good. Not feeling great.

Don't really know what to do. I never felt

this down before for such a long time.

Maybe I need antidepressants.

Don't know.

I thought if I could find someone I liked

hanging out with, then I would feel

motivated to go places and do stuff. But

even then, I didn't really— didn't really

feel motivated. I still don't really feel

motivated to do anything. I don't want to

go anywhere either. I can't be bothered.

That's the problem. No girl's gonna want

to date a guy who doesn't want to do

anything, just want to stay at home,

because that's boring.

So I'm not gonna be able to find a

girlfriend as I am in this current state

because it's just depressing.

It's really hard to break out of it.

Who's this complaining channel? I saw him

commenting.

Well, I got this 30% off stir-fry.

It's got cabbage and bean sprouts,

and I got these egg

noodles. I've never made stir-fried

noodles before. I got this— no,

I got this beef

steak. I don't really know what I want to

do even if I had a girlfriend apart from

sex. And apart from sex, what else do I

want to do? So I feel like if I met a girl

who's like me, it'd be pretty depressing

as well. Imagine you get a girlfriend,

she's got no interest in doing anything,

no goals or ambition. She just sits at

home all day bored. I don't

really want to date someone like that

either.

It just sounds like— I mean, in the

beginning it'd be fun, you could just have

sex all day, but then after a while get

kind of annoying. Why not?

What else did I put

in my noodles? Oh, I got this sauce,

stir-fry sauce.

It's just too difficult. I feel like

giving up on the whole girlfriend thing

sometimes. I kind of have.

Just get a love doll. It's easier,

cheaper.

If, if we ever got to the point where they

could make really realistic love dolls,

Guys like me, we would just completely

give up on trying to find a real woman.

The problem with the current technology is

they're just still not very realistic,

and they're so expensive. Why does it have

to cost over $2,000 just for a lump of

rubber? It really shouldn't be that

expensive. And they're too heavy as well.

There's no way I could get a full-size one

up here. But if they

could get to the point where they actually

made realistic robotic humanoids

that look like women,

maybe that would be better.

Maybe just plug us into like virtual

reality where we're Sex gods in

a virtual existence like The Matrix.

Wouldn't you rather just live in The

Matrix if you're like this sex god rock

star instead of living in reality where

you're like this loser that no one likes

covered in pimples?

Maybe. I don't know when I became so

defeatist. I used to be so optimistic

about finding a girlfriend. Learned

Japanese, learned the piano,

learned all this stuff thinking I could

get a cute girlfriend.

So I'm gonna boil the noodles. I think

that's how you do it. Boil the noodles so

they're soft, take them out, and then we

fry the ingredients.

Why did I stop piano? Because I traveled

and then I didn't have a piano to practice

anymore. Then I forgot everything.

Also, girls on these dating apps piss me

off. I got matched with this English girl

who lives nearby. She sends me a message,

hello Daniel, So I reply with,

hey, how are you? And then she unmatched

me. I woke up next day and I was

unmatched. What was wrong with my reply?

Why would you say hello and then I say,

hey, how are you? And then you unmatched

me? Was it that bad of a response?

Oh, it's a boring, not funny reply.

Go To a fucking comedy show then if you

want to laugh. Trying to have a

conversation, you want me to tell jokes?

I'm not bloody Jimmy Carr. I'm not a

comedian. I'm just a normal guy. Why do

these women expect the men to be like

freaking comedians with all jokes lined

up? Fuck off. Jokes.

Funny. Unmatched. Suck my dick, bitch.

Fuck you. Unmatched.

They'll match you just because you don't

have a funny answer. Get the fuck out.

Idiots piss me off.

Should write on my profile, sorry, but I'm

not a comedian, so don't expect me to be

funny. Idiot.

Hate dating. Should have just stayed

married. I knew this would happen.

Why is this stupid stove locked?

Imagine living in a society where just

asking, hey, how are you, gets you

unmatched. Stupid Entice

with people.

Why won't it turn on?

Yes.

Okay, so annoyed.

Unmatched me. Didn't even get 2

sentences in, she unmatched me just

because I said, hey, smiley face.

Jesus, as if her message was so funny

and witty. She just said, hello Daniel,

wow.

I don't know how to be funny when you're

first saying hello. What are you supposed

I just hate this pressure of being funny.

Never have this problem in Japan.

Japanese girls don't expect you to be

funny, they just expect you to be nice and

show an interest. Never had problems like

this before.

Someone was standing outside. Do you think

they heard me? Well,

what is a good first opening line that is

not boring? I don't want to be creepy and

like sound like a pervert. So you're not

supposed to sound like a pervert, you're

not supposed to sound boring. Oh my gosh.

And then women wonder why guys are into

stuff like pickup artistry and learning

the game. They don't realize there is a

game. They're like, oh, I didn't know guys

have to learn this. Yeah, because you make

us. Because we don't learn it, then you

unmatch us just for being boring. Girls

don't understand all the shit guys have to

do to not— to just like get a foot

in the door. God, not be boring, not be

creepy, not be pushy, not be this, not be

that. Being a

guy sucks. Then when there's a war, you

get sent to war, you're fighting in the

trenches, you get blown up.

I wish I was a woman.

Yeah, not, not allowed to be clingy,

can't be desperate, can't be this, can't

be liking Jeremy Clarkson,

because now women for some reason hate

Jeremy Clarkson as well. Something else I

noticed. So I can't tell girls that I

like, you know, Top Gear and Grand

Tour or anyone who's like Jeremy Clarkson

because they're probably Tory people.

I mean, people like Jeremy Clarkson are

liked by conservative right-leaning

people, I think, and Manchester

and the north are like very left-leaning.

I think. I don't know about all this

political stuff.

I think from the way I look, they don't

expect me to like the stuff I like.

They think, oh, he's such an innocent,

soft-looking guy, he must,

um, he must like

the Great British Bake Off. And he must be

a vegan, and he must be into like animal

rights and climate change.

Oh no. I think this is something my

YouTube audience had problems with as

well, because I look on the surface, I

look like quite a nice gentle guy, but

then my personality is I like people like

Keemstar and Leafy and edgy dark humor and

Like trolling and toxic stuff.

My personality just does not match the way

I look at all.

I don't know if I'm cooking these noodles

right.

So now I've got to pretend that

I also hate Jeremy Clarkson, and I'm like,

oh, protect the animal rights and all this

mumbo-jumbo. I got

to like play up to my looks, I guess,

because the kind of women who would like

that kind of stuff would probably be into

guys who are bald and have a beard and

full of tattoos like Count Dracula. Count

Dankula, you know that guy on YouTube?

You gotta look like him to get the girls

who are into his kind of personality.

I think— aren't these noodles already

cooked? They're very crispy.

Mm, that's quite nice raw, actually.

I don't even think I needed to boil them.

I could have just added it to the stir-fry

and it would have been fine. Um, I don't

know, I never cooked— I

never cooked egg fried rice. Dried noodles

before. It's not like ramen, is it?

Who the hell's this complaining channel?

What boring name for a YouTube channel.

The complaining channel.

I remember my mum used to make this dish.

Where she would fry the noodles with all

this stuff, and then some of the noodles

would still be crispy, and then they'd be

crunchy, but in the middle of the plate it

would be soft and sauce. Oh,

thanks, Mark. Have a fake— having

to fake while dating is not— I know, but

if I reveal my true personality, 9 times

out of 10 the girl's not gonna like me.

If I tell them I do OnlyFans and I make Or

I've made like very unpopular, edgy,

very politically incorrect statements on

the internet. I don't know if I can get

away with, well, it was a few years ago,

I was very immature. I don't know if

enough time has passed yet. I did tell one

girl I make videos. She didn't ask

anything about it. She was like, oh,

that's cool. She didn't ask what the

channel was or if I'm famous or

anything, which is good. I need

to like create a better story. What do I

say? I make— I could say I

inherited a lot of money when my

grandfather died. I inherited

$200,000 and I put it into stocks and I

live off that. And for fun, I just make

silly videos about games. That doesn't

sound too bad.

I mean, it's not entirely wrong. I did

inherit some money, but I didn't inherit

that much. If I inherited like 200K and

I put that into dividend stocks, I reckon

I could live off it because you have like

6% dividend rate on 200,000.

£200,000, you'd make like £1,000 a month,

but you need like 6% dividend rate.

That's pretty good actually. I mean,

£200,000 is not a huge amount of money,

but then you have to have all of it in

stuff like Exxon and Chevron,

Altria pipeline stuff.

I wish I inherited more money. $20K is

nice, but what's nice would have been

$200K. Then I would have been living

life on easy mode. Put all in stocks,

live off dividends. Unfortunately,

I only make like $50 a month

of dividends. I got my Altria and

Walgreens Boots dividends, uh, last week,

and it was about £60, which is

nearly $100, I think. And I only get that

4 times a year, so I need more money in

these stocks. But I don't know, I mean,

Altria has come down a bit. I could buy

more noodle.

Lots of Chinese people outside, I noticed

when I went to Aldi, like groups

of of Chinese guys and Chinese girls just

going shopping. Where are they all coming

from? What are they doing here?

Why do they only hang out with other

Chinese people? See, and this brings me

on to my next rant. People saying, oh,

there's lots of Asian people in

Manchester, why don't you date them?

Because the Asian people here, they only

date their own Asian people. You don't get

it. There's loads of Chinese girls here

they're always with Chinese guys, and you

know they're Chinese because they're

speaking Chinese. So they wouldn't even

see me as one of them because even though

you guys think I look so Asian, I really

don't look as Asian as they do, and I

don't speak Chinese, and I'm not Chinese,

and they would always see me as like

non-Chinese. So I don't have my people.

You see, the Black people with the Black

people, and the Middle Eastern people are

with the Middle Eastern, Indians with the

Indians. Who am I supposed to be with?

With. I got no people.

I don't have a people. There's barely any

half-Asian guys, and if they were,

there'd be a bunch of losers I wouldn't

want to hang out with anyway.

All the Chinese girls always with a bunch

of Chinese guys, or they're with their

like family, parents, Chinese

grandparents, whatever. They are pretty

cute though.

They got such petite figures compared to

the local women.

Something very attractive about the

Chinese girls. The way they dress as well

is very nice. They always have those

tight-fitting trousers,

that black hair.

Noodle.

Okay, so we cooked the noodles.

I need to Where's my chopping board? I had

to put it in the bin because it was

getting gross.

Why is he always eating but only weighs

100 pounds? Well, I eat at least twice a

day. I don't starve myself. So we got

discount beef, cost £2, beef steak.

Should be good.

I started putting my stuff away in the

storage because I realized I got a lot of

storage and I'm not using any of it. Look

at all this. Got all that space. Got all

this. I got all this.

Why don't I put my stuff into it?

Then I would have less clutter.

Um, I didn't buy garlic. I don't know how

the best way to cut this steak. I want

strips. The annoying thing

about England is they don't sell thin

slices of meat like

they do in Japan. In Japan, you can get,

you can get thin slices of pork, belly

pork, thin slice, thinly sliced

beef for shabu-shabu and stuff like that.

They don't have that here in England.

They've got cubes, they've got steaks.

And they got medallions.

Why does no one have strips?

So I want to do beef stir-fry

with noodles with the sauce.

See what it smells like.

Hmm, it smells okay. Doesn't smell rancid.

Every time I get chicken, it smells like

farts when I open the packaging, but when

I cook it, it tastes fine.

Okay, so this was the cheapest steak I got

in Aldi. I wonder if it's going to be any

good.

Maybe the scissors would be better.

Oh, I didn't wash this after

I cut my Love Doll dildo off. Oh, there's

like metal shavings on it now. That's

fine, it would be extra iron. No, it's

actually cutting not too badly. I don't

know, it's hard to— it

cuts okay, but it's the angle's difficult.

They need serrated scissors. That'd be

good. Oh, it's quite a good strip there.

This beef smells quite good actually.

It's very beefy. Why do roast beef

flavored crisps never actually taste like

real beef?

Hmm, not too bad smelling.

Fresh off the carcass,

my Tinder date.

Oh,

it keeps

moving. I might have to get my scissors,

actually.

I think scissors much better. Oh,

that's so much easier. Jesus Christ. Oh my

God, look at that. Look at that.

Oh my, why don't more

people use scissors for cooking? Look how

easy. I don't have to push it onto a

surface. I don't need to rest it against

anything. Look at that beautiful

beef fillet.

Make a dildo out of it. Looks slippery

and slimy.

Am I gonna rinse the meat? No,

why would I rinse it? I'm gonna cook

it in some oil. This is actually

quite good beef. It's not really tough,

it doesn't smell. It's only £2.

Mystery meat.

Oh, listen to that! Oh,

can you hear that cutting? It's like

paper. I don't want this big

lump of sinew.

Cut from this side.

Oh yeah, who heard about Facebook changing

its name to Meta? How lame is that?

Why? Facebook is fine. Why would you

change your name? It sounds like they're

trying hard to sound edgy. And mysterious

and cool. And then also sounds like

they're trying to make people forget of

about their bad reputation from Facebook

by changing the name. I don't think

anyone's actually going to use the new