My Japanese wife’s family STILL hates me

I spent all of yesterday and yesterday

night and this morning and all of today up

until now all by myself because my wife

went on some kind of onsen trip with her

family— her mother, her sister, her

sister's husband, and their kids— and

they didn't invite me. And I wasn't

invited because my wife's family don't

actually know that we got back together,

and that's because my wife promised her

mum that she would never see me again

after the whole separation thing happened.

So she promised her mum that she wouldn't

see me again. Now we're back together and

she can't tell her mum or her family that

we're back together again because of

obvious reasons. And her family invited

her to go on an onsen trip yesterday and

she said yes and they all went, leaving me

behind. And it was a bit lonely, to be

honest. I had to make my own dinner, had

to go to bed by myself. Had to wake up by

myself, and she still hasn't come back

yet. I don't know where she is. I'm not

sure if she went straight to work after

the onsen, after staying at the onsen

place, or if she's still at the onsen, or

if she's at her family's place and then

she's going to come back here. I don't

know. I asked her and she said something,

but I wasn't really paying attention, so I

don't remember what she said. And it just

kind of got me thinking, imagine if in

some kind of parallel world where I didn't

mess up my marriage and I didn't try and

sleep with fangirls and her family

didn't hate me, how great would it be if I

also got invited and I could also go on

the onsen trip with her family and maybe

I could feel included and I could feel

like I'm part of something, part of

another family. Now that I've lost my dad,

I feel like my own family, my real family,

has lost a member. Now I only have my

sister, my mum, and they're so far away,

and I'm all alone in Japan. I feel so

isolated. I only have my wife. I don't

have any friends. I have in-laws that

don't even know that I'm with my wife

anymore, who probably hate me, who

probably want me and my wife to get

divorced, and they don't want me to ever

see her again. I guess I feel a little bit

confused about it because on one hand I do

feel a bit depressed and lonely and sad

that my own in-laws hate me and wouldn't

even invite me anyway, even if they did

know that I was back living with my wife

again. But then on the other hand, I feel

like it's kind of like a blessing in

disguise because now that I think about

it, do I really— do I really want to be

invited? Do I really want to have to hang

out with her family? Because 'Cause if we

think about it logically, imagine it.

Imagine if I had to go to an onsen. I

don't even like onsens anyway because you

have to get naked and then sit in boiling

hot water with a bunch of other naked

strangers. As a Western person, I'm not

really comfortable with getting naked in

front of a bunch of strangers just to have

a bath. I don't find that relaxing. For

some reason, Japanese people think it's

relaxing to go to onsens. Strip down and

then sit in a pool of boiling water,

which is probably also— if you

think about it, you're sharing the same

water with a bunch of other, who knows how

many, countless other strangers, naked

strangers. You're sharing that water with

them. I don't think that's very hygienic,

and I don't really find the idea of

stewing in the filth of strangers very

appealing. So no, I'm not really a big fan

of onsen. I think it's pretty gross. And

if I was invited and I had to go, well,

the ladies would be separated into the

women's section, obviously, and then the

men would be in the men's section. And the

only other man in her family would be her

sister's husband, so my brother-in-law.

It's so strange to think that I have a

brother-in-law and I have a sister-in-law

and I have a Japanese mother-in-law. Who

all hate me. And let's not forget the fact

that he's a policeman. So can you just

imagine it? Me and a Japanese policeman,

we're gonna get naked and then sit in an

onsen stewing in our own filth and other

people's filth as well. What are we going

to talk about? Are we even going to talk

at all? Are we going to make any

conversation? What is a wannabe YouTuber

and a policeman going to talk about? We

live in completely different worlds. I

think it would be really awkward,

especially since my wife's family probably

know everything that I've done. I don't

know if they watch my channel. I'm pretty

sure they don't watch my channel because

then they would know that me and my wife

are back together. I don't think they know

my channel, but they know of my channel

and they know of the things that I've been

up to in Germany because my wife probably

told them about it. So it'd be incredibly

awkward if I had to interact with them

after they know all this stuff about me,

and they probably don't have a very high

opinion of me. And they probably don't

think this whole YouTube thing is very

good as a career choice.

I don't even think it's very good these

days now, actually, now that I think about

it. Maybe my life would be less stressful

if I had a proper job, a real job, a job

where I just went to a supermarket or

shop, worked there for 8 hours, didn't

have to worry about if the business is

going to collapse. I just stood behind a

cash register and beeped things and then

took people's money. So in a way, I kind

of think that it's a blessing in disguise

that I don't have to interact with my

Japanese in-laws because of this, and they

probably think I'm still in England or

that I'm somewhere else. They probably

don't care. They probably— they probably

forgot about me. I don't think they have

any idea that me and my wife are back

together now, and I think it's best if

things stayed like that. I just keep

thinking about how incredibly awkward it

would be if I had to talk to her family

What would we talk about? They might ask

me what I do for a living, then I have to

explain to them that I make videos on the

internet. And then what would I ask them?

Ask her sister what it's like being a mum,

or ask her husband— her sister's husband—

what it's like being a policeman. I could

ask him if he's ever been stabbed before,

if he's ever arrested anyone before. I

don't know what to talk to a policeman

about. I can just imagine if I had to meet

her family, it would be really weird. I

would just end up sitting there not saying

anything, being really shy, probably just

looking at my phone the whole time whilst

my wife makes all the conversation. Maybe

her mum would ask me questions and then I

would answer them.

Yeah, maybe it's best that they, they

don't like me. I've just been doing a lot

of thinking. If I'm going to live

long-term in Japan, maybe I should— maybe

I should join a club or try and get myself

some friends or try and integrate into the

society in some way. Because as it is now,

I just feel so isolated and so alone, and

the only person I have in the world is my

wife. That's what it feels like. And I

just— I feel kind of depressed, actually,

living like this. I don't feel fulfilled.

I don't feel satisfied. I was

thinking of maybe joining some kind of

photography club. I'm kind of interested

in photography. Then I'll have an excuse

to buy a fancy camera. Maybe I could go to

some kind of class, like a Japanese

language class, or maybe I could learn a

different language. Anything, you know,

any kind of class or school or club that I

could join and interact with other people.

I think that would be quite, quite healthy

for my mind.

That, that might be a good idea. I don't

know, I just feel so lazy. It sounds like

a good idea, but then at the end of the

day, it's going to cost a lot of money,

it's going to take a lot of effort from

me, and I don't know if that's really

going to make me feel happier in life? Do

you think it would? I'm not sure. Maybe I

could try and make friends, male friends

that I could hang out with. I just don't

really know if I would enjoy hanging out

with a bunch of guys. What would we do?

Talk about things? Go for drinks maybe?

I'm not sure. What if they're gay and then

they fancy me and they want to do weird

stuff? How am I supposed to say no? I

think I mentioned this in a video last

year, but I'll say it again. I've always

kind of fantasized about having a

girlfriend or wife, and then I meet

her family or her parents, and then they

accept me as their new son-in-law,

and we do all cool things together, and

they think I'm this cool guy from England,

and they're impressed with my Japanese

language skills, and They teach me how to

do cool things, they make me Japanese

food, and we go fishing, do stuff,

activities together, and I feel like I

have a place in society. I always thought

that would be a cool thing to have in

life, and a part of me feels kind of sad

that I won't really have that with

my wife's family. I'm not saying I want

to meet her family, Because like I said

before, it'd be really awkward. I'm just

saying that it would— I guess it would be

kind of cool if I

did get invited and I did get included in

things and people wanted

to see me and they wanted to know. It's

just kind of weird, you know? I've been

married to her for over a year and haven't

even met her family yet, and they hate me.

Isn't it weird? Anyway, that's the current

situation. I don't really know what to do.

I guess I have to go to immigration to get

my tourist stay extended

to 6 months eventually. We still haven't

talked about getting my spouse visa

renewed, which is a bit weird. I'm not

sure why she's avoiding the topic of

my spouse visa. Maybe she's a bit scared

that when I get my spouse visa renewed,

I'll just vanish and then continue living

in Japan on the spouse visa whilst hooking

up with a bunch of other girls. I would

never do that. That's just wrong. I'm not

really looking forward to going to the

immigration center because the last 2

times I went to immigration, I got

recognized by people who watch my channel,

and it was a little bit awkward. There was

this Canadian guy and there was this Hong

Kong guy. They were nice people, don't get

me wrong, but it was a little bit awkward,

the whole situation of being recognized in

public isn't something I'm used to. And

now that my channel is a lot bigger than

it was back then— that was back in March

and November. November 2017 and March 2018

was the 2 times I got recognized at

immigration center, and that was back when

I only had about around 30,000 to 40,000

subscribers. In November, I only had

about— no, it was December— I only had

about 6K subs, and that guy recognized me.

Now I have 90K subs. A lot more people

Probably know my face, so I'm a bit

worried about some stranger walking up to

me and talking to me. I guess I wouldn't

mind so much if it was a cute girl, but

they always seem to be guys for some

reason. Oh well.

My present? Yes. You didn't

invite me. To your onsen trip. I was

so lonely. Poor boy. What's this?

Kinosaki beer. Open it.

You open it.

Well, at least she got me a present. I

guess that's something.