Why I refuse to speak Japanese in Japan

A lot of people have been asking why don't

I speak to Japanese people in Japanese

when I go into hotels or restaurants, so I

wanted to make a video explaining why.

And before I get into the reasons why I

don't like speaking in Japanese, I just

wanted to clarify that yes, I can speak

Japanese. I can actually speak— I can

actually speak Japanese pretty well, and I

even feel confident enough to say that I

could probably wipe the with most

foreigners when it comes to Japanese

language ability. I passed level 2 of the

Japanese language proficiency test all the

way back in 2011. I also tried taking

level 1 and I nearly passed, but

unfortunately, because I did really bad in

the reading section, that took my average

score slightly below the pass mark and I

failed only by about 10 points. After I

failed level 1, I kind of gave up studying

Japanese because I felt like it was a

waste of time, and I just felt happy with

my current level. When I was in my early

20s, I was really obsessed with speaking

Japanese, and I felt really proud that I

could speak Japanese. I had all of my

electronic devices set to Japanese in the

language settings, and I used to post all

of my Facebook updates all in Japanese

because I thought I was so cool and

special because I could speak Japanese.

And then I got a bit older and I started

to mature, and then I realized that no one

really cares that I can speak Japanese.

It's not really special. Loads of people

can speak a second language. It's not that

amazing to be able to speak a second

language. Sometimes I see these other

YouTubers who make videos all in Japanese,

and it's like they're showing off. It's

like they're saying, hey, look at me, I

can speak really good Japanese, everyone

love me. I guess I reached a point in my

life where I just kind of stopped caring

about being able to speak Japanese, and

these days I don't like speaking in

Japanese. I really hate it actually.

So the main reasons why I don't speak to

Japanese people in Japanese when I'm

making videos is: number one, I'm lazy and

it's just easier for me to speak in

English. If I spoke in Japanese then I

have to add subtitles and I don't want to

have to spend all day adding subtitles to

my videos. And if I had to choose between

making the hotel staff or restaurant

staff— there's a fish over there jumping!

I don't know if you can see that. Look,

it's just jumping out of the water. What

was I saying? Oh yeah, if I had to make

the decision between making hotel staff or

restaurant staff struggle or make myself

struggle, I'd rather make someone else

struggle instead, because at the end of

the day, I'm the customer. I'm paying,

they're the ones working there, they're

supposed to help me, it's their job.

It's just so much easier to speak in

English and then make them struggle a

little bit rather than make myself

struggle and try and speak in Japanese,

which I could. I could easily speak in

Japanese and it would be a lot easier for

them, but then I also feel pressure

because everyone's going to be watching

and judging my Japanese. And I just

don't really need that extra pressure in

my life. For some reason, I have

no idea why, but for some reason I feel a

lot less nervous interacting with Japanese

people when I pretend that I can't speak

Japanese. It's really weird, I know, but

it works. I feel very nervous when I have

to speak in Japanese to a Japanese person

because sometimes they say things back to

me that I don't understand or Maybe they

mumbled it, or maybe they said it too

quickly and I didn't catch it, and it's

just really awkward when I have to ask

them to repeat themselves. There's also

other reasons why I dislike speaking in

Japanese. One of the reasons is because

I'm not Japanese, I'm English, and I feel

like the English language— the

English language is part of me as a

person. It's part of my identity, it's

part of who I am. I spent most of my life

living in England. I grew up speaking in

English. But when I have to speak in

Japanese, it's like I'm pretending to be a

Japanese person when I'm not. I'm acting.

Basically, I'm acting, trying to imitate a

Japanese person, and I just don't feel

like that's the real me. I don't feel like

that's who I am. I feel like I'm putting

on this act. Another reason why I don't

like speaking in Japanese is because I

just don't think it's a very good

language. As languages go, I don't think

it's a very efficient language. Number 1,

there's way too many alphabets. Why do

they have so many alphabets? Why couldn't

they just do what Korea did and just

choose one alphabet and then stick with

that? Number 2, it's a very vague

language. There's so many times when I

don't really know what they're talking

about because they don't start the

sentence with I or you or she or

my friend, or— they don't begin the

sentence with what they're talking about,

and they just expect you to know what

they're talking about. It was so

frustrating when I had to speak to my

ex-wife, and she would say something to

me, and I didn't know if she was talking

about herself or me or her friend or her

dog or her mum. I didn't know if what she

was saying was a statement or a question,

and it was just really annoying. Every

time she said something to me, I had to

stop her and ask her,

what are you talking about? Who are you

talking about? It's just a very vague

language, and most of the time they just

expect you to know what they're talking

about, as if you could read their minds.

Well, sorry, but I, I don't know how to

read people's minds. Usually in English,

we'll start off the sentence with I, you,

me, her, my friend, and it's pretty easy

to understand what they're talking about.

The grammar can also be very irritating.

For example, very simple sentences in

English, um, in Japanese the

grammar would become very, very

overcomplicated. Another reason why I

dislike speaking in Japanese is because a

lot of the sounds in Japanese are kind of

weird. And unnatural for an English

speaker. A lot of the sounds in Japanese—

stupid train! This video

is so irritating to make because I have to

stop every 30 seconds to let the train

pass behind me, and it's so noisy.

A lot of the sounds in Japanese are just

very unnatural for a native English

speaker. We don't have a lot of those

sounds in English. And in order to make

those strange Japanese sounds, I have to

move my tongue and my mouth in very

unnatural ways to produce those sounds.

And when I'm speaking in Japanese, I just

feel like my tongue feels strange. It

feels like this weird alien worm that's

inside my mouth that's not supposed to be

there. I have to put a lot of effort and

energy into moving my mouth and my lips

and my tongue in the way that a Japanese

person would move them. And it's just kind

of difficult to get used to that,

especially if you started learning the

language at a late stage in your life. I

started learning Japanese when I was 18,

so I was already an adult by the time I

started learning. Didn't have any exposure

to the language when I was a child, so,

um, Yeah, it's very difficult to learn a

foreign language when you're an adult

compared to when you're a child. Another

reason why I dislike speaking in Japanese

is because I think I sound stupid.

When I record myself speaking in Japanese

and then I play it back to myself, I

think, wow, I sound stupid. Just like

in any language, there's masculine ways of

speaking and feminine ways of speaking,

and unfortunately, since I learnt most of

my Japanese from Japanese women and

by speaking to Japanese women, I kind of

picked up a feminine way of speaking in

Japanese, and I kind of sound like a

12-year-old girl when I speak in Japanese.

Now, I have tried very hard to not

sound like a girl when I speak Japanese,

but it's difficult. Since I never really

spoke to Japanese men, I never really

picked up that masculine Japanese way of

talking. So those were my reasons why I

refuse to speak Japanese in Japan, and I'm

going to try my best to avoid speaking

Japanese whenever possible. So it

would be nice if people stopped

complaining about me not talking to

Japanese people in Japanese.

Yeah, so I guess we still have 1 minute

left until I have 10 minutes of footage.

So what should we talk about?

Well, I guess I could show you my favorite

place in Osaka. It's this river.

Over there is the city of Osaka,

and I'm on the opposite side of the river.

Um, yeah, it's a very nice area. It's a

bit annoying if you want to make a video

because there's a railway line over there

and then trains keep crossing it every 40

seconds or so. And you can see the sun is

setting over there and

there's lots of stones and rocks on the

ground. And— oh,

there's an aeroplane flying. Can you see

it? There it is.

It's funny to think that there's hundreds

and hundreds of people inside of that,

and it's so tiny. Yeah, it's a very

happening place, lots of action. A great

spot to bring your lover. I guess.

Okay, that's 10 minutes.