Why I regret cheating on my girlfriend

Testing,

testing.

Hello.

Okay.

Oh.

Yes. Excuse me.

Okay.

It's so

quiet

here.

Okay, so I'm gonna go to the river.

Why is it so quiet?

I feel like I've gone deaf. In a freaking

huge city full of people, it's so quiet.

Oh my God.

Give us the tea, Daniel. Uh, how do I get

to the river?

Oh, thanks, blood bucket. Give us the

tea. I'm just trying to get somewhere

where it doesn't feel weird to talk.

I need

to

get past, past Osaka Station.

Maybe I should have waited until I get to

the river to start the stream. I'm

basically nearly there.

And then I'll tell you how my weekend's

been going.

It's the audio crackling.

I'll fix it in a minute.

I need to get to the river first.

Actually, I need to buy some drinks. I

just finished from the gym and I'm

thirsty. Can I

go down this way?

No, not sure.

Oh, that seemed a bit dangerous.

Yeah.

Okay,

so audio fixed.

Testing,

testing.

I'm about 6 minutes away from it.

Went to the gym and skier today,

and I think I'll stream for about 5 hours

and then head back to my new girlfriend's

Oh, thanks, See-Through,

very generous.

It's kind of hard to talk here because

of all the traffic.

I think he froze inside that rail.

Did you see me?

My balance is not great today.

I hope there's a convenience store at the

river. I need drinks.

Okay, here we go over the river.

I'll show you where me and Chihiro made

The Yodogawa River.

Wow.

Do you think if you keep having sex at a

river,

your brain will start associating the

sound and smells of a river with sex?

And then instantly turn you on.

No,

no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no. People coming.

Okay, let's just get over to the other

side first, and then I'll show you the

I hope the river has good internet.

I think it's fine so far.

I remember I came here before to try and

make a video, and then I got really angry

because it was so noisy.

I thought it'd be cool if I made a video

on the bridge. I didn't realize how loud

the traffic is.

Well, why is there a security guy? Are we

not allowed on the river? It's like a

security guard there.

Ah, there's a guy there.

He's waving

them in. I don't know

why there's a security guard sitting at

I don't get it.

What's the point putting

a guy there just to say to people, yeah,

you can go in, dozo? It seems so

pointless.

Did you see him?

Public sex acts is guarded now.

He's just sitting there on the chair, and

there's a van. These vans have their

engines running. They have people in them.

It says Sagor Sagor Shop. I don't

know. I don't want to stare at it for too

long. There's. Can you see those cars?

There's people just sitting in it, doing

something.

What does sagyo mean? It's like

construction.

Me and Hong Kong guy came here to

make the fireworks video. I think we did

it over there in the sand.

I'm actually kind of close to where

Chihiro lives. Don't tell her.

So this is the famous Yodogawa River

where I made my infamous homeless

video in the tent. Also, I made love to my

ex-wife here and made a video with Hong

Kong Guy. See if

I can find the spot where we did it.

The site has been desecrated with

my nakedness. Well, we didn't get naked I

just pulled my trousers down.

Oh yeah, I also made the How I Secretly

Film People with My GoPro video, and I

made the 100K sub celebration

video, and I made the Why I Refuse to

Speak Japanese in Japan video. I actually

made quite a lot of videos down here.

It's a pretty good place to make videos

because it's so open and it's not very

likely people are going to come up close

to you, and you can see people coming up

to you from a mile away, so I feel pretty

comfortable here.

This is Juso. It has a bunch of abandoned

love hotels. Hotels. Me and the Hong Kong

guy were going to make a video here. We

ended up just going to yakiniku and then

buying fireworks. He wanted to go

in, but I was scared if we film ourselves

going into an abandoned place, we'd get in

trouble. I used to be very scared.

Boring streams, no donations. I made like

$100 donations last stream. No, like 120.

Stick to making videos. Stick to shutting

the fuck up, maybe.

80% of my income was from donos this past

2 months, so I don't

really need your advice. Mr. Wannabe

YouTube Expert.

Yeah, internet seems pretty good here.

Anyway, so about the topic of my Korean

girlfriend. I don't really know if it was

the best idea to move in with her. It's so

awkward. I just don't really find

her attractive. She— I don't know why I

don't find her attractive. She's got—

she's got what I thought I wanted in a

woman, like big bum, big boobs. She has

like a wide bum. I guess you could say

it's big. And she's got boobs.

But there's like something about her I

don't really find attractive. Also

yesterday— no, not yesterday,

Saturday— it was kind of a dumb idea of

mine, but I said, let's go cycling. Guess

what? She fell off her bike and she

fractured her shoulder or her elbow, and

she damaged her knee and it was grazed and

bleeding. So now she's walking around like

an old woman. So I already didn't really

find her very attractive or feminine, and

now she walks like an old woman. I feel

even less attracted.

And she's like groaning in pain all the

time now. I don't know how she fell off

the bicycle. Well, I do know. She tried to

mount a curb, and it was a pretty steep

curb, and then she just fell off.

The bike just collapsed because she didn't

lift up the front wheel to go over the

pavement curb, and then the back wheel got

stuck, and then it just fell over. And

then she landed on her left side, hit her

knee and her elbow, and then she went to

the hospital today, did an x-ray, and they

said she has fractured her shoulder,

I think.

So yeah, in hindsight it was a pretty dumb

idea to suggest to a woman, let's go

cycling. So I just know my Thai girlfriend

would probably fall off the bike as well.

We cycled for like 10 minutes and she fell

off. Jesus Christ.

It was really awkward as well cuz I

don't know what to do when someone falls

off a bike. How do you help them. You

can't have to be like, oh, you're okay?

Ouch, that looked painful. Are you okay?

Like that. I don't want to seem like, oh,

I'm not worried or I don't care.

How do you help them?

So I felt a bit nervous she was pissed

because I wasn't very caring, but I

honestly don't know what to do in that

situation. But I don't think

she was mad at me. I just said, oh,

sorry, it was a dumb idea to go biking.

But I think she's okay. It's just now she

limps everywhere and she's constantly

groaning and like looks kind of miserable.

It's a bit annoying.

The way she walks is like an old woman

though.

I'm pretty sure that's just because of the

bike crash. I don't think she usually

walks like that.

Jesus, this place is so— seems so dead.

I swear it used to be more active, like

full of kids exercising and old people

jogging and stuff. There's like 2 people

over there. I guess it's nice and

So I went to her place on Saturday and we

just went to a park. Turns out I've been

to the park before back in 2010. It's

that— it's that big park with all of the

miniature country building things,

representations for each country. I

remember I went there with the first

Korean girlfriend actually. Walked around,

went to Saizeriya,

went back, and then Sunday we did nothing

apart from— oh, we went to play darts. We

went to Yoshinoya and then went to play

darts, which was quite fun. I said, if I

beat you at darts, you have to pay. And I

beat her. Seems like I'm pretty good at

darts, actually. I got loads of bullseyes.

I got one bullseye and like 30 bulls,

because there's bull hit and a bullseye.

You'd walk like an old woman too if you

fell. Yeah, I know. But I'm not trying to

have sex with myself.

I'm just saying it makes her look even

older now she walks like that.

I think she did what I nearly did in my UK

bike stream. This is when you have a steep

high curb and you just ride the bike into

it expecting the bike to go over. You

gotta pop a wheelie. You could lift the

front wheel up and do like a bunny hop

over it. Unless you're a BMX pro

BMXer who can do bunny hops, I wouldn't

recommend trying to mount a steep curb.

I nearly fell off. What happened? She went

at the curb at like a 70-degree angle.

If you're going at the curb straight on,

head on, and you popped a wheelie, the

back would probably get over it if you're

going fast enough. The issue is going at

it like 45-degree angle or whatever, fell

right off. The bike just collapsed.

Then Sunday, yeah, it just went to

restaurant, darts, watched a movie, then I

did some cooking for her, made her pork

belly and kimchi stir-fry.

We had a beer too, and then she was like

falling asleep at 8 PM, and I was just—

I'm so freaking bored there because I

can't do anything like check my messages,

chat on Discord, check my YouTube. I've

got to make sure I don't show these things

to her. So I just sit there, we just put

this show on Netflix, and I just sit there

staring at it, pretending to be watching

it when I don't really care that much.

It's so boring though, I don't know what

to do. She said, oh, you can just do what

you usually do, but you know I can't.

And then her building is kind of old.

It's like a crappy old building in an old

neighborhood. And then in the evening,

there was some kid upstairs screaming and

screaming and jumping up and down.

I just don't know if this was a good idea.

I guess I already saved like $100 by

staying there for 3 days already.

Think about the money. The alternative

would have been stay in a dormitory

for like £600 or £700 for the whole month,

stay in a hotel for like £1,500 a month.

I don't know, I'm just losing

the love for wanting to be in Japan. I

feel like going back to Thailand would be

a lot easier. Easier, cheaper, and

comfier.

Also, my dick. I think I got Candida

again. I knew I should have washed after

we had cereal. The reason why I didn't is

because she didn't. Usually my Thai

girlfriend, she'll shower straight after

it, and then she'll make me shower too.

So I'd shower straight after sex. But with

the Korean girl,

she doesn't. She just goes to sleep. So I

thought, okay, I'll just go to sleep too.

Woke up this morning, my foreskin's red.

I can feel slight bumps. So I think I've

got Candida again. So I would get freaking

cream, which means I can't make love

tonight. So if she tries, I'm gonna have

to tell her to stop. And then she asks

why, I've got to tell her, uh, my dick's

itchy. May I just say I'm tired.

So I'm thinking maybe we go and buy some

Candida cream. It's so annoying. I hate

having to wash my foreskin every time I do

it. But then if I don't, I just

go to sleep and let the bacteria fester

overnight. This is what happens.

I washed it last night in the bath and

this morning. I would wash it every night

and every morning, but if you don't wash

it after sex, it doesn't matter if you

wash it in the morning or in the night.

You left it unwashed for like 10 hours,

then you're gonna get candida.

So I still haven't learned my lesson.

It's a bit frustrating. Candida is so

annoying because it makes your foreskin

get all swollen and it's really

uncomfortable and itchy. And you get these

little bumps under the foreskin and then

you get like these cheese flakes that

start growing. You've got to keep washing

it out. The cheese flakes are like the

waste that the fungus feeds

on the dead skin cells and bacteria, eats

it, and then produces waste which looks—

which basically it's smegma. That's what

the cheese is. It's basically the fungus's

shit. So you gotta keep washing that out.

So annoying.

Same thing happened with Chihiro. It

didn't happen with Mila for some reason.

With Mila, I didn't wash out after sex and

nothing happened. It's like only

with Asian women.

Why, Mr. Pigeon, do I keep getting

Candida? Why?

Yeah, I don't know why too. Do you get

Candida? Oh, you're a bird pigeon. I mean,

a female bird. What's it doing?

Do you think animals have this problem?

I'm pretty sure animals don't wash their

foreskin after they've mated. They pretty

much just mate and then go to sleep.

Being a human sucks.

Do you ever stand on the train? Do you

ever get on the train and it's packed full

of people and it's completely silent and

all you can hear is sniffing and snorting,

like, and coughing and sniffing.

What is wrong with humans? Why are they so

So I went to a cat cafe surrounded by like

10 cats in silence and there's no

sniffing, there's no coughing. They just

sit there sleeping, doing a bit of

cleaning, But then you surround yourself

by humans and they're just constantly

going like that.

I don't get it. It's like

humans constantly have stupid respiratory

problems and mucus and germs.

Do you ever see a cat sniff? I haven't.

Because imagine being an alien and then

you're standing in a train and you just

think, oh, these humans are weird. Why are

they always making these weird sounds

like, like that?

The fuck is wrong with humans? I've never

seen an animal, group of animals making

all these stupid sounds. All this liquid

coming out the nose, cheese coming out the

foreskin. All the animals live in the

wild. They never bathe. They don't use

soap and they're fine. I've never seen a

sick cat or a sick bird. You ever seen a

bird cough? I haven't.

Sick and tired of human bodies.

I'm sick now. Keep having a runny nose

and I kept sneezing yesterday. I told her

it's hay fever, but I think I might be

sick. I might be sick again.

So, I don't want to tell her I'm sick

because then she'll be worried I might

give it to her. I've seen a sick cat.

Does it cough and sniff? I have never seen

a sick cat and I've had 4 cats.

How do they not get sick? Because they

don't stand on trains full of other cats.

Maybe.

Can I ride on this sandy bit?

Wow, Yodogawa River really has gone

downhill these days.

Maybe because the weather's just kind of

crap today.

I just feel like as a human being, I feel

so dependent on medicine, cleaning.

I'll clean this, gotta clean that. Oh my

God, maybe being circumcised, this Is

better. Anyone here circumcised? Have you

ever gotten Candida? I think it's

because of the foreskin.

La la la la la la. Hello, where is the

homeless bit? It's probably more towards

the— what's that station? Tsukamoto.

Because I'd get this train to Tsukamoto.

It goes Tachibana, Amagasaki, Tsukamoto,

and then into Osaka. And I would get off

at Tsukamoto to make videos, which is over

Isn't it sad? 4 years ago I made the 100K

sub celebration video, and then 4 years

later we're still at 100K subs.

112K. Well, to be fair,

I did predict it. I said in the video this

I'll probably never achieve another

milestone again, so it's not like there's

ever gonna be a 500K sub thank you video,

250K sub thank you video. I don't

know why the channel just kind of hit a

peak and then flopped.

I could see it coming, but I was still

hoping.

It's a nice, nice view of Osaka.

Where's Hep 5? Oh, there's Hep 5. You

can't see it, but I can.

Little red circle thing. I brought my Thai

girlfriend there, but she didn't want to

ride it. We just went to Hep Naviya

buildings for kushikatsu. I actually

kind of miss the Thai girlfriend. I

noticed I like the Thai girlfriend a lot

more than the Korean girlfriend. The Thai

girlfriend is smaller, smaller frame,

way more feminine with her fashion and

stuff. And her style.

I feel a lot more comfortable with her

too. I don't feel awkward or weird around

her at all, and she has like this

childlike personality which I feel

comfortable kind of like bossing her

about. But I feel a bit— I don't know if I

feel intimidated by the Korean woman, but

she has like this big sister teacher kind

of vibes. She's also really tidy and

organized, like my first Korean

girlfriend. You can tell she

folds everything up neatly, puts

everything in a special place neatly.

When she gets out of bed, she folds the

futon thing into a square,

which I appreciate.

It's just funny, my first Korean

girlfriend was exactly the same, but way

worse. Whoa,

wind! The first Korean girlfriend would

make me fold the towels in this very

specific way and then get mad if I didn't

do it.

Maybe Korean people in general are just

very neat and organized. My Thai

girlfriend's very messy. She doesn't tidy

up, she doesn't put things away nicely and

tidily.

Can you hear the wind? It needs to

stand somewhere where the wind doesn't

blow me. Oh, that's that concrete thing

I made that video about. How— do you

remember that video I made? How I travel

the world without having a job. I was

standing at that concrete block to,

uh, block out the wind.

Oh my God, it's windy now.

The weather's so crap in Japan right now.

The weather is either really sunny

and windy, or it's cloudy and windy, or

it's raining. Uh, when it's sunny, it's so

It's so damn sunny you can't even open

This is really unpleasant weather to be

outside in. I mean, it's nearly May.

I thought it's going to start warming up

soon.

Yeah, here it is.

They have this random block of concrete

with a bridge. I don't know what it's for.

I think in case the river floods, they can

stand over the flooded bit. Yeah, I was

standing right here making that video,

remember? You'd have

to have a pretty good memory to remember

this background. Hello, today I'll make

a video about how I travel the world

without having a job. Number 1, sell

sharpening stones on eBay. Number 2,

online surveys.

I stood right here.

I also reviewed the iPhone 11 here when

I was living in the Airbnb alone with the

sex doll.

Nope. I should phone my girlfriend, Thai

girlfriend, this afternoon too, because I,

I refused to, to do it on Saturday for

obvious reasons. Then on Sunday she didn't

ask, but if I don't phone her, she's gonna

start getting suspicious. Oh, there's a

tent over there. Someone copying my video

idea.

I'm not even pedaling, the wind's blowing

me.

I might get some drinks.

I know there's a Family Mart on the side

of the bridge over the hill thing.

If it rains, I'm not sure what to do

because I'd have to stay with her. While

she's working. She said she doesn't mind

if I stay, stay with her during the day,

but I have to be quiet.

I don't really want to stay there because

it's so freaking awkward. I'd rather not.

I remember coming here to make a video and

getting annoyed every time the trains

came, so it would keep interrupting my

flow of speech.

Raining Tuesday and Wednesday, yeah.

She said she has a— she has a

meeting on Tuesday, a nomikai, with her

colleagues, so I have the place to myself

in the evening. I asked her, so should I

leave, or am I allowed to stay whilst

you're gone? She said I can stay, but I

need to come back before she leaves. So

it'd be nice to have a place to myself for

the evening. So the thing I'm worried

about is she notices that I don't

like— I don't really want to be there all

day long.

I'm trying to stay upbeat and nice.

But it's kind of awkward now. I'm trying

to think of an exit strategy. How can I

leave now? My best idea is I'm going to

tell her my sister's coming to Tokyo in

May and I'm gonna go and meet her

because she's never been to Japan before.

So I'm gonna stay a few nights in Tokyo,

but then I'm actually gonna fly back to

Thailand and then probably ghost her.

I don't really understand what she wants

though. She likes me,

but she hasn't said anything about, you

know, being in a relationship with me.

And then she had this— she started telling

me about how she has this Korean and

Japanese friend who she considered

marrying for a visa. And then she also

said to me, I have this old Japanese

friend, she could give— get you a visa too

if you're interested, let me know. So I

thought, that's weird, if you want me to

be your boyfriend but then you're like

pimping out your old Japanese female

friend. I said, what does

your friend get out of it if she marries

me? And then she said, well, she'll be

married to a nice young guy. Okay, but

then I have to what, pretend to be married

to some 60-year-old Japanese woman? No

thanks. Unless it

was like a test.

But if she was interested in me as a

boyfriend, then why would she suggest me

marry her friend for a marriage visa?

Bit weird.

Weird conversation.

So I don't know if she really sees me as

like a serious relationship.

Maybe we're just sex friends. I don't

So I mean, it would be nice if she just

thinks of us as sex friends. So I don't

really want another woman getting

emotionally attached to me, and then

I feel guilty because I gotta break it up.

You live in her place for now?

Yeah, I'm not

sure if it was the best decision.

But the main goal is to save money.

Hoping to stay there for maybe 2 weeks at

most and then leave,

go back to Thailand.

I don't really see a reason to stay and

sacrifice a Thai girlfriend.

Oh my God, stupid train, so loud.

Oh, there's a Lawson down there.

It's so cold, I don't really feel like

getting a cold drink. It's not a great

day, to be honest.

Well, I told her I'm only allowed to stay

for 6 months, so it's not like there's

long-term— it's

not like there's long-term— what's the

word— possibilities for us to be

in a relationship. Oh my fucking God, the

pigeons nearly flew straight into my head.

Did you see that stupid thing?

Let me see the replay. I swear it

nearly hit me in the head. I think the

wind blew it into me.

Where is it?

I don't think you can see it, the camera's

pointing down too much.

Also, it's kind of weird. She has no

problem with me finishing inside of her.

She said, isn't it dangerous? And I said,

why? And then she was like, uh, because of

pregnancy. And I said, never got anyone

else pregnant before, so I think I'm fine.

It's weird, women don't seem to have any

fear of getting pregnant. It's like every

single one of my exes and my 2 current

girlfriends now both let me come inside,

not knowing that I'm infertile. They only

realize afterwards, after there's no

pregnancy. But it's like they were

fine with it. Why would they think

I'm infertile? They wouldn't.

Ah, it's not nice to be outside.

What are we going to do on bad days like

this? I don't— I'd rather just stay at

home, even if it's awkward with her, than

stand around in the wind and rain trying

to stream. What time

is it? Half past 3?

It'll take like an hour to get back to

hers. I'd have to finish at like 5

to get back around 6.

I'm not really in a rush to get back. I

just don't really want to be out when it's

late at night and cold.

Every time I used to come to this river,

I was always blown away by the view when

you come up the other side of the, the

bank and then you see this.

This looks so Epic.

Oh, thanks, Junkers. Visit Blood Bucket.

Isn't it kind of far away?

It's a really nice view. I'll try and

straighten out the camera.

You can see the planes landing. Into Itami

Airport. The plane

looks so weird, like it's not really

there. Visit Blood Bucket.

She also keeps asking me what are my plans

for Golden Week, as if she's implying she

wants to do something together, to go

somewhere. I don't

really want to go anywhere because it's

going to cost money. She said she could

rent a car and she paid for my lunch

Yesterday. It's nice having someone pay

for me for a change.

I think— I'm pretty sure I came here with

Chihiro. And she said when she

was a schoolgirl, she used to have sex— I

mean, she used to do running around here

too, like those kids were. She said her

school used to make them do laps around

This is funny. People think Japanese

people follow rules all the time,

but they really don't. There's a sign here

saying no littering, and there's literally

a mountain of trash here.

They think they're funny, don't they?

Stinks as well.

Chihiro used to come here as a schoolgirl,

had sex for money, gave BJs to

OG-san. That's what she said.

And then we went to a park on Saturday and

there's a big fountain. There's a big sign

says do not play in the water, and there's

loads of kids playing in the water in the

fountain. So this

is where me and Hong Kong Guy nearly

brought the sex doll. We actually brought

it all the way here and then realized,

wait, this is incriminating ourselves on

camera. And then we took it back and

dumped it in a— we dumped

it in some apartment rubbish place. And

then when I told Chihiro what

fined like ¥10,000, ¥100,000 or something

if they catch you. Plus it has your name

on the box, says Daniel Lord on

the box of the sex doll. So I panicked,

tried to ask Hong Kong guy to help me to

get it again, but he said he was busy with

work.

So then Chihiro offered to help me, but

the damn thing was so heavy and someone

stole the trolley. Do you remember I

bought a trolley to transport it? Someone

cut open the Love Doll box but didn't take

it, and they stole the trolley, I think.

So me and Chihiro had to carry it,

holding both ends of the box. It was so

tiring. We had to stop a few times. It was

like a 20-minute walk Usually it's just a

10-minute walk, but because it was so

heavy, it took us about 20 minutes.

I rode past the bit where I had sex.

Let me go back.

There were signs next to the homeless

thing. It said, please remove this. It

says, if this stuff will— is the— if this

stuff has not been removed by XXX date,

it will be forcefully removed.

It was just a piece of cardboard. Looked

like someone was sleeping there.

No, no, no, no. Wow, what a miserable day.

Ah, the wind is the worst. It's so windy

in Japan recently.

People complain my stream's always just me

in a room. In the hotel. I don't go out

or do anything because it's hard work

streaming outside. You've got the weather,

you've got to be aware of

people. My voice,

my voice is not very powerful. It's

running out of energy already from having

to shout over the wind. It's tiring,

it's not comfy.

But I don't have a choice right now.

Had to sacrifice the room streams

to be able to save money. I think it was

somewhere around here in

the long grass. Don't go into

that. Long grass. We watched Jurassic

Park: Lost World on the weekend. That

scene cracks me up because the guy's

yelling, don't go into the long grass,

and they all go into the long grass.

Stupid idiots.

The nerdy scientist guy literally

explained to them, oh, velociraptors make

their nests in the long grass. They all

run into it like idiots. Headless

chickens. That movie's so dumb. You know

the bit when they're in the camp and the 2

T-Rexes attack them at night? Why didn't

they shoot them with the machine guns and

The only time they actually kill dinosaurs

is when that black girl does the gymnastic

flip, kicks it.

We need the bar stream. I said I'll do

that when TKO Sam comes. I don't know when

he's coming though, probably Golden Week.

This long grass, I can't believe I had sex

here. That was so weird. I think it

was like 10 or 11 PM at night. No one was

around. We were up near the riverbank

and I saw this patch with a cardboard

piece of cardboard on the ground. I

thought, wouldn't be funny if I smashed

Chihiro here? I didn't ex— I was surprised

Chihiro was down for it. I just started

taking down her trousers and she just let

me. What's this?

I think it was like here.

Why is there like scaffolding, like a

metal chain-link fence?

It was probably here. It was like this

kind of area, but there was a piece of

cardboard and this grass was much longer

back then. When did we do it? It must have

been It must have been nearing the end of

summer, so the grass must have been longer

then. I think it was July.

When did I do the love doll Airbnb? It's

like September, wasn't it?

I don't think I made her cum because we

didn't do it very long. I was kind of

nervous someone would find us. It only

lasted about, I'd say, 10 minutes. I

wasn't really trying to, you know, do it

good. Just wanted to do it for a bit and

then come and then brag about having had

sex at a river. All the rubbish here,

there's so much plastic and polystyrene

just lying around.

This is where I made— actually, I think

further down the river I made the

barbecue. Do you remember I cooked that

sausage? I brought the orange portable gas

stove, cooked some bacon and sausage, and

that was the bit in the video about

survival tips if you're homeless in Japan.

Bring around a portable gas stove.

And I got some Family Mart sausages.

Actually, I think the sign is still here.

I can see a little sign here. What does it

say? Warning.

What does that say?

Oh my God, it's like the same kind

There's like a date. Reiwa yonen.

I think this year is Reiwa gonen.

Reiwa yonen hachigatsu ni juu naranichi

made ni tekkyo shite kudasai.

When was Reiwa fourth year? I think that

was last year. 撤去 means get rid of or

dismantle.

They were 4年. When was that? Pretty sure

it was last year.

この工作物は淀川方に違反しています。What's co—工作物? It's like

a construction. Just says this thing that

is here shouldn't be here. Get rid of it.

Get rid of it. But if it's gone now, why

didn't they get rid of it? The sign. I'm

pretty sure this year's Reiwa Gonen

because the Fushimi Inari Taisha Shrine,

there were little gates said Gonen.

Imagine there's some homeless guy sleeping

here, sleeping in the bush.

I want to find the exact spot we did it.

He'd be like, "Whoa, my noni skinne, me

gane, toke umei, look at it." Stupid

fucking Osaka old man. Sick and tired of

old men in Osaka being rude.

I saw another grumpy old rude man. Um,

when we was at the pharmacy. This time he

was being grumpy to the store clerk. The

store clerk was saying, points card, do

you have points card, like 3 times, and he

wasn't responding. And then he yelled at

the guy and then stormed off with his

stuff. I don't know why they get so grumpy

here.

If he, he lived his whole life in Japan

and he doesn't know that he's going to be

asked for a points card. You should know

they're going to ask you. Why get mad over

It's just like standing there daydreaming

and then snaps at the guy for doing his

Idiot. It was probably somewhere around

here. I feel like we didn't go too far

from the train bridge,

but the grass here doesn't really seem

very long as if you would have sex in it.

Yeah, so day wa yonen was last year,

wasn't it? That sign. Is a year old.

The annoying thing about the Japanese

language is they've got keigo, which is

the polite form.

The reason why it's annoying is because

when someone speaks to you without using

keigo, it feels annoying, like they're

being rude to you. In English,

because we don't have keigo,

like a customer could speak to me like

they're talking to their grandson, it

wouldn't really be that different in

terms of sentence structure. I mean,

there's no like sentence ending apart

from— I guess you put please on the end of

a sentence, but you don't really need it.

It's just you get used to— it's just that

you get used to being spoken in keigo too

when you go shopping and you're talking to

strangers. And then with some like

weird-looking old guy suddenly starts

talking to you without keigo, it feels

like they're being rude.

Someone's coming.

Why does this stupid Google Maps keep

notifying me of something? The Google Maps

keeps spamming me with notifications.

Oh, this legendary place again. Yeah,

this is where I made many videos, made

love, Hong Kong guy videos. Did the

homeless stuff.

It actually wouldn't

To cycle to Chihiro's place from here. I

reckon it will take like— uh, stupid GPS

map thing still trying to direct me to the

river, that's why. I think it'll take me

like 20 minutes to bike to where Chihiro

lives. She's probably at work now.

Where will I be in 20 years? Probably here

again. I'll be like 50 and I'll be saying,

ah, 35 years ago I was here married and

I made love in this very spot.

Gonna make it like a pilgrimage to come

here every year, reminisce.

That's what people don't understand about

me. I'm a very nostalgic kind of

guy. I like revisiting old places

where epic moments in my life happened.

I don't think that's weird.

You know, like I went back to my primary

school in the UK. Not many of you watched

that stream. It was on Twitch, had about

40 viewers, but I went back to Sutton

Valence Primary School testing out my IRL

biking set up and went back to my old

house,

went around Sutton Valence, biked around

where I grew up. I, I like the feeling of

nostalgia and revisiting a place you

used to be in.

There's like something special about it.

You are salty and rummaging the past you

can't get back. Not salty,

just like reminiscing and doing

a bit of reflection. Introspective.

Self-reflecting.

Why am I sick again? Oh my God, I got a

blocked nose now.

I need to get some warmer clothing, but I

don't want to— knowing my luck, I'll buy

some thick clothing and then summer will

start, cuz if I buy it, I can't bring it

back to Thailand. There's no point.

It'd be funny if Thai girlfriend dumps me

and I go back to Thailand and I'm like,

this is where me and Thai girlfriend had

lunch. Oh, I miss her. I should have

appreciated her more.

Oh, it's windy.

After I moved in with the Korean girl, I

felt a bit worried actually I might lose

the Thai girlfriend because of this.

Was Chihiro surprised by the river cereal?

I think so. I don't think

she enjoyed it. She said she got a bruise

on her pelvis because she was on the

floor on the cardboard and it was kind of

hard and I was like pounding her into it.

She said she was a bit sore on her back

pelvis. What you really

need to do is on a hot summer's day on

soft grass, not on a piece of cardboard at

night. One of my dreams

is being like a sunny flowery meadow

afternoon, warm sun, slight breeze,

soft grass,

and then just get completely completely

naked and fuck. That would be hot.

The closest I got to that was in Germany

with German girl number 2. We were

actually in a meadow. I can't remember why

we went there. What happened?

We went to some river. There was this

river on the map and I said let's go

there. And there wasn't a clear way to get

to the river, so we cut through some

meadows and But I just didn't really find

her that attractive. I wasn't really in

the mood. Plus there were bugs everywhere.

Every time you took a step, all these

grasshoppers and stuff bounced out.

Why do you keep bruising women? The Korean

girl's covered in bruises too now because

she fell off her bicycle. She rode the

bicycle because I said let's go on a bike

ride. I thought she knows how to ride a

bike without falling over, but no.

Are you staying there and going back to

Coringa? Or staying wet.

Oh, that's bird shit on the floor.

I'm gonna stream a bit at the river and

then head back to her place.

You know, I could leave now. I could just

run away now, actually. I've got all my

stuff in my bag apart from my laptop. I

took out a few things like my shaver,

some clothing, the laptop, but I have

the LiveU, my microphone. I couldn't take

it out because she might see it. I've got

my iPad, passport, wallet,

Battery banks.

I'm just wondering how I'm going to escape

now.

I mean, it'd be kind of weird if I just

ghosted her, never came back, but left my

laptop and stuff. She might think I got

run over or something.

I think I'd send her a message and then

block, so at least there's an explanation.

Be like, you can— I'm sorry I messed you

around. You can keep my laptop as a

thank you gift. Goodbye, laptop.

The fucking laptop is really holding me

How am I gonna get out of this?

How? I mean, I've got a plan, but I need

to think how I'm gonna suddenly bring up

my sister coming to Tokyo. It seems so

random. Actually, kind of seems obvious

that I'm just making an excuse to leave.

Or I can be British and be like, oh, I

don't want to be trouble

for too long. I don't want to overstay my

welcome. I'll leave in a few weeks. And

then she might say, oh no, no, it's fine.

And then I'll say, oh no, it's okay. I

already have plans anyway.

I don't know what to do. I already fucked

myself this time. I don't know

why I thought— I mean, I kind of wanted

sex again, but then it

wasn't as great. I mean, it was slightly

better than the first time, maybe. Also,

I wanted to save money.

Or maybe it'll get better after a while.

I just— I feel like she thinks I'm weird.

She keeps asking, so What do you usually

do? What would you be doing normally? And

I say cycling, going to the

gym. And then she laughs and she says,

is that it? And then she says, okay,

apart from cycling, going to the gym,

what do you do? Then I said, I don't know,

just watch YouTube, play games. Well,

apart from that, what else do you do? I

don't do anything apart from the things I

just said I do. Why do you keep saying

that apart from the things you do, what do

you do? I don't do anything apart from the

things that I do, obviously.

And then she was like, please find

more fun things to do. And I said,

cycling is fun. What do you mean?

What am I supposed to do? I don't know

Honestly don't know what to do.

Ask her what she does. She said she'll

just watch a movie.

She said she'll watch like 3 movies all

day long if it's the weekend. And then she

laughed and said, maybe we're both just

really boring people. I said, maybe that's

just normal life. People work, they have

hobbies, they watch movies. Yeah, it's not

exciting. It's just called life, isn't it?

Life is not exciting. I'd say

it's like 20% exciting,

15% scary,

65% boring.

What makes you try to run away from her?

I don't know, it's just awkward. It's a

small apartment. I don't want to get in

her way. I don't want to make a mess

because I'm a guest. I'm also a

bit scared what would happen if she found

out about my YouTube.

As long as I don't say anything mean about

her. I'll be fine. I don't think I said

anything bad.

Oh, it's windy and cold.

Imagine Chiro messages me and says, oh,

you're at the river, I'm at home now, do

you want to come over? Live stream with my

ex-wife. Maybe we'll get 200 viewers

again.

Let me check my messages. See if my

girlfriend messaged me.

Nope.

And nope.

Okay. No, I missed you, me? Say you're

going to stay at a friend's place and come

over. Hmm,

I'm just scared how she's going to react

when I tell her I'm going to leave. I

don't want her to feel like, oh, he

regrets coming. Oh, he doesn't like me.

So I'm scared I'm gonna make her feel bad

by telling her I'm gonna leave, and then

it's gonna be weird and awkward. Oh,

thanks, Gerbert. I'll warm you up. Oh,

thanks. I'm freezing. I wish

they still sold the neck warmers. They

don't sell the winter stuff at convenience

stores right now because it's nearly

summer, but it's so damn cold.

God, this is definitely going

to make my sickness worse.

Thick blanket of cloud. The sun

can barely break through it. Look, you can

see the sun over there.

Look at the sun. It's like a tiny, dim

little circle of light. I can stare right

into it. The sun has no power today.

I could actually leave tomorrow because

she's going out for a nomikai from 6

PM. I'd have the whole place

to myself and just pack my stuff and

leave. Oh my God, should I do that?

The only thing that makes it hard to leave

is because she's there all day and I need

to pack my laptop and everything and

I don't know, maybe it's too early to

leave. I just— I'm not really loving it.

I don't know where to go. Just stand

stand next to the patch. Me and Chihiro

Hello, welcome back to my river. Today I'm

going to talk about why I regret having 2

girlfriends at the same time.

On Sunday, we literally just sat on the

sofa staring at the wall.

So awkward. And then I said, should we

watch a movie?

I think she would have actually just sat

there staring at the wall if I didn't say

Also, the bed is so uncomfortable. It's

like one thin futon thing on

I would buy a topper like I have in

Thailand, put it on top of it to cushion

it a bit more. It's so hard. I don't know

how she sleeps like that.

And doesn't want to make it more

comfortable. I can't sleep on my sides

because my, my bum bone doesn't have much

fat around it, so it's not

very comfortable. I sleep on my back.

I don't mind sleeping on the floor. I like

futons, but I need some padding,

not just one thin whatever that is.

I need more padding for my skeleton.

No, not my tailbone, my hip bone when I

lie on my side. My tailbone's

not really a problem. Actually, when I was

a teenager, my, my tailbone was really

painful. The coccyx. I remember when

sitting down, it was so painful. And then