Kick Livestreams/POST lunch chicken soup stream 2025-10-17 00_00 [8e2f1b53-post-lunch-chicken-soup-stream] 480p

Welcome back to the new stream.

Got chicken soup.

Yeah,

I think

Whoops. Is Battlefield 6 worth it? No, it's rubbish. I think Call of Duty is better with the battle royale mode. I mean the war zone mode.

Actually,

I hate all the vehicle stuff

and I hate all the large map stuff, so I hate all the stuff that's unique to Battlefield.

I'm eating chicken soup.

Cream of

chicken. Ah, it's nice.

I've got a new idea how to play it.

I'm thinking I play with the controller and I use my monitor. It might be more fun.

Fast addition trading.

Why hasn't there been cooking stream? Because I haven't been cooking, been heating stuff up. Too lazy.

I

put the— where is

it? Switch monitor.

Keep changing. Damn, that's my big monitor. Wow, so big.

Ah

ouais.

I need more moments.

Get

some crisps.

嗯，好呀。嗯。

Where everyone tuning in from, guys?

That's so great. Glad you could be here.

嗯。

Everyone tuning in from where?

Hit like and subscribe.

Oh no, market tanking.

Where everyone turning it. All through the night.

If I play like this, it might be more fun. I'm gonna grab my controller.

I bought this Xbox controller ages ago, I never used it.

Audio.

The soup is better like this.

Why is it so loud? Oh.

But you both, um, more relaxed.

Already feels quite nice, actually.

I think enjoying a game is all about how comfortable you are.

In it.

Come on, how long?

Oh, it feels weird. It feels weird.

Controller and mouse— I mean, keyboard and mouse.

Nice, but it's not,

it's not comfortable being hunched over a desk, is it?

That's the problem with keyboard and mouse.

I just— I don't feel like I got full control over my actions. I don't like this.

I'm not allowed to

do this now.

Oh, oh, I'm doing way better than controller. I killed 2 people, guys.

I killed 2 people. See that? I actually kind of like this more.

It's still inside the mud bomb, I hope.

Market ripping,

guys.

Maybe I'll get ultra angled.

Ah, I hit him.

Enemy lead is confirmed.

What?

Oh, dead! I killed him. Where's my score?

Oh,

I'm playing them up big. Oh my God, whoa, I killed it! What the fuck? My reflexes are way better with controller.

I like the trigger on the controller more than the mouse.

I actually kind of like the controller though.

Spray

will come— oh, come on.

I'm up 9 pounds on my yawn.

Ah, I killed him.

Oh, what's this?

Oh, I got him! Why does it feel easier to control?

I feel like I got a little faster now.

What? I'm up £12 on my long.

This is so good. Wow, guys, I'm winning it. Like, I can't get up the ladder.

We now control Bravo. It

hurts my thumb.

My thumb hurts. There's auto aim, that's why. I, I feel like auto aim. Is there auto-aim?

I swear there's like slight auto-aim. That's why I'm doing this.

I'm up £13 on my

alone.

Damn tasty. Said I didn't understand what sitting on happened. How about you sit on my nutsack then? I mean, how about I sit on you with my nutsack?

Defeated again.

If I bring the monitor closer, it will look bigger

in my face.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, now I just do this all day.

Easy money.

No camera lag. I don't know, I moved the game from the laptop screen onto the big monitor.

And then I got my Xbox controller. It is lagging a bit, sorry.

Oh, it just tanked. I lost all my gains. Capture the objectives and hold ground. Oh no, it looks so much better on PC. My neck isn't hurting.

And I

got like auto aim with the controller.

Way better than

Oh,

oh.

Oh,

I killed him.

I got a new attachment.

What? I don't see my score.

Let's

go.

I can't fucking join.

Who did that?

Hostiles are ahead of us. We need to hit back.

Oh, what? Dante's banned. She said I didn't understand what sitting on cash meant.

Oh, I killed him.

I killed 2 people.

Playing it like— oh, it's the same as public. How would it be different?

Whoa, I killed him!

Easy.

He did. I'm doing way better with the controller.

Oh, hello, real life Dima! How you doing today? Where you tuning in from? I'm

Can't see anything out the window. It's too far.

What

are you doing?

All right, objective Alpha is under our control.

This is so much better than keyboard and mouse,

although it's kind of hurting my thumb on the movement stick.

All right, we're still ahead in the fight. Maintain your attack.

Oh, kill him!

Oh my God, that would have been easy.

Should have been.

I like control of all Feel the mouse. Now I can sit back in my chair and don't get pain in the neck.

Where's

the whole house going?

What? Where everyone tuning, guys? Oh, kill him! Oh, kill him!

We win! I did pretty good.

How many did I kill?

Oh, I'm still at the bottom. Oh my God, at least I killed 9. I thought I did better. I'm still at the bottom.

Market is ripping.

At some point I won't be at the bottom anymore.

I'm up £16 on my long.

Market gonna rip back to all-time highs, I think. Good thing I've got double lungs.

I'm an engineer just like my dad.

Look, I'm not on the bottom. I'm in the middle.

Watch me get first kill.

First kill, 1-1-1. I got first kill and 1-1-1.

Oh,

whoa, I'm up £20!

I'm up £20, guys! Market's ripping!

Oh,

I killed him! Well, I killed him too! Well, I killed— I killed— whoa, my God, I killed 4 people! Did you see that?

I'm at the top.

Wow, market's ripping today.

It's great.

Should I take profit? £20. Like, this is so much more fun with the controller. Can't believe it. Can actually kill people now,

and the movement feels so much better.

Life's looking up.

Oh, why are we behind me?

I'm still not at the bottom.

Um,

they're just everywhere.

All right, we've taken the objective. Where everyone tuning in from, guys?

Where the hell are— destroy. We have the objective.

I know where they are.

Taking the objective.

Oh, I killed him even though he had to jump on me.

Why is it so bright outside the window? I can't see.

Oh, it's so bright outside of the doorway. Well, I'm up £22 on my long.

Oh my fuck.

Why do they do that? So you can't see outside the doorway.

The objective is under control.

All right, the objective is under control.

Oh, I shot him 3 times. I'm up £25.

Taking the objective.

I'm going down to the bottom.

10 deaths.

Oh,

I'm up £26. The enemy's still winning the fight. Get back and take control.

PID supplies, grab all you can.

Oh, I need to go.

Oh, I got him.

Oh,

why? No, I don't like the game. I like it.

Control. Objective ready to engage.

New objective marked.

Whoa, where'd it come from?

Whoa! Oh, I nearly got him too.

I'm going down to the bottom of the scoreboard again.

Ah, I'm dead.

He

dead.

Ah, I'm up £25. Should I think I should take profit?

I don't know, I think I've got 10 kills. How am I at the bottom?

My thumb's hurting. Uh, we got destroyed.

Uh, at least

I'm not in the target.

Oh well.

Yeah, well, that's my tactic. I run into the danger, distract all the enemies, my teammates can pick them off. Did it on purpose.

嗯，后面。 To, um, customize my shotgun. Oh, I got a new sight.

I got a laser.

Oh, I got a new shell tube. Improves weapon handling.

What else I get?

Can I change my pistol?

Change my grenade. I want frag grenade. I've been chucking the anti-vehicle grenade at people the whole time. Give me the frag grenade.

Oh, a sledgehammer.

Combat engineer.

Wow, I'm level 7.

So much more fun with the control pad. I could play this all day.

All I got to do is keep talking and then I won't lose my KC. Oh,

I got 86 damage, man.

Oh,

I got him.

Oh, I got him!

Oh,

I got him! Why was he chasing

Me.

Huh,

what?

Where's he going?

What do you mean the sounds of? Sound of?

I blew myself up.

Yeah, I'm not at the bottom.

Oh, what? The enemy is controlling the fight. Stay strong.

Oh, what?

Oh,

okay. Oh, I thought he's— double kill.

Oh.

Oh,

I killed him.

I'm kidding. Sorry, mate, I killed 6 people.

Damn, come on, there's lag delay with audio tonight. Sounds like a

Get him, get him! I killed 2. Oh no, I killed one.

And we're not winning. Why are we not winning?

Oh, I killed him. My, um, movement is definitely saving me more than my aim is.

Whoa! Uh, you can't see into buildings because it's dark, and you can't see out of buildings because it's too bright.

It's pretty annoying. I can't do that. I killed

someone.

Oh,

okay.

Did you see that killing? It was so cool.

Am

I

at the bottom?

Oh, I killed him.

Why can I never stay alive longer than 2 seconds?

And I always— someone behind me when I'm shooting. We're gonna lose again.

We now hold objective Bravo.

Gosh, be nice if we could win one game.

What? Fucking shit.

Maybe

I'll try a different weapon.

SMG,

LMG.

Secure the objective and maintain control.

We have secured Charlie.

Fuck

me,

man.

Girlfriend says she can't afford to meet me this weekend. What do you mean?

She said she could meet this weekend, now she's saying she can't afford to.

Why is it like every week something that goes wrong?

It's like

No reliability.

Now I'm going to offer this stripper some money. Now I don't know how to send the money without doxxing myself.

Oh my God,

I mean, how can we be living in a town? Watch yourself. What? I mean

I've got to try and see if there's a solution to this.

This is just a nightmare.

I don't mind if I have to pay.

I'm guessing no money for petrol. Petrol's like £20. Who doesn't have £20?

I just blew £150 today.

I don't understand how people can say they got no money when there's overdraft credit cards.

Come on, I'm over here. Take what you can.

People really live in patience.

Oh God, I'm fucking broke.

Okay,

let's go.

No, it's okay, actually.

Unless it's an excuse. I mean, if she says no to it, but it kind of sounds like an excuse.

I got you. Let's go. The enemy has secured the lead.

Right, objective Bravo has been secured. Your strategy is failing. Find a way to turn this around. I think she can't be bothered with school.

We have secured the lead.

Now, be advised, enemy forces have taken the lead.

Now she's like rejecting it, saying she doesn't like orange people.

Yeah, I said you don't have to pay me back.

I don't know, some women, they got like pride about being paid for.

I mean,

if she keeps like coming up with excuses, then yeah, I think you're right. But then why? Because we plan to meet this weekend.

But it's not a problem

unless you're making it a problem.

But it's very easy problems to overcome.

It's not like there's some military blockade closing off the roads or something.

Really peeps me out when—

Be advised, the objective is under enemy control.

Be advised, hostiles have the objective.

New objective confirmed. Unless it's like, uh,

like get the hint.

She doesn't want to meet the 3 things.

Be advised, hostile taking the objective.

Oh God.

Wait, she said she has to travel quite far for work next week,

which probably means her petrol costs are going to increase, so she doesn't feel like she can afford to meet me.

And I've been getting her to buy the food because I've been Painful attack.

Why is she rejecting my offer? Hate me.

Really calm down. Like, if she sticks to her guns, doesn't let me try and fix the problem

I'm gonna be stuck streaming all weekend.

No break.

Like, out of all the problems you can have, financial problems is the easiest one to fix.

Like, there's no problem that's going to cost thousands of pounds to fix, is there?

At most it's going to be in the hundreds, right? I think it's all done.

Enemy forces have secured the objective.

Be advised, enemy leads confirmed.

Why is she not replying? Be advised, enemy forces have secured the objective.

Unless it's like a, like a soft letdown, wants me to take the hit, not to I think

it's a hint.

Yeah, I don't get it. I mean, she lives with her parents and works full-time. How do you still not have any money unless she's paying rent to the parents?

Maybe she's paying all the rent for the pants, ain't she?

Oh God, like, I don't know,

this is shaking me because

like if I lost her

I don't know, I think I already moved back in.

What happened? My guns disappeared. My guns.

Yeah, it's just strange because I've been paying for the hotels and she didn't have any problem with that, but now there's like a problem with me paying for the hotel.

Really? I don't think she's gonna let me win this one. What is it, a shit test?

We have been meeting every week.

It like hits you in the chest, like sinking.

Objective is ready.

I died 26 times. Can't play anymore. This is really fucking me up.

How do I— how do I minimize it?

Fucking hell.

Why is my camera lagging?

Is it fixed? I think

it's fixed. Why

is it lagging like that?

Oh, I think I fixed— I think it's the game. I closed the game now.

How's it going?

If you had the do you want to be my girlfriend convo?

No. Ah, fucking hell.

What's implied? Ah, fucking annoying.

Why won't she just let me pay for the petrol?

You think she's going to end stuff soon? I don't. I, I've already booked a hotel for the end of the month because she wanted to do this thing with me

for Halloween.

And then last weekend we discussed about this weekend and she was very eager.

Pick her up? Yeah, I'm— I'd offer that too. If she replies. Like, if she doesn't want me to pay for petrol, I'll say I'll come pick you up then. If you're just going to reject every solution I have, then

seems like there's something else, like another reason.

Like the whole, oh, I don't— you've already paid so much, or you already done so much, so I can't accept it thing. Yeah, but I, I want to do it. It's not like, oh, I have to do this. No, I want to do it. Like, I want to help because I want to see her.

A bit frustrated she hasn't replied.

20 minutes ago.

Oh, and now I lost all my fucking gains on the market. I was up £25 and now it's tanking.

It's crazy how I went from, oh, I'm up 25 pounds,

I'm winning on Battlefield, feeling great, and then everything just flips upside down within 10 minutes.

You know what I really hate about myself is that it's like my entire happiness revolves around women.

I'm either really happy because things going well, or then I'm really miserable because it's not going well. And then outside of that, I feel like I've— my life has nothing else going on in it.

So the thing I hate about my life—

yeah, I put all my eggs in one basket, but I don't know where else to derive happiness from.

I don't want to be streaming every single day all day long. I want— wanted a break and have some human contact.

Really, like,

we haven't discussed next weekend. Is it all becoming too much for her? Like, I don't know, like, am I financially pressuring her by it? Like, even though I'm paying for the hotels on the weekend, she still has to pay for the food.

I mean, I can't say, oh, I'll pay for the food as well, and then she'll feel guilty or something.

I've got nothing going on in my life to look forward to.

Apart from these weekends.

And then I battled really hard to fight off this flu cold thing, so I'm ready for the weekend and I'm feeling better.

I don't know what I'm gonna do. Like, I feel like everything's falling down now.

No, I'm not getting the reply now. It's been nearly half an hour.

It's like with women, either you're not putting in enough effort and they get upset, or you're putting in too much effort

and then they feel bad.

I think I'm good at putting in the effort when it comes to things like paying

Driving, being reliable with plans. Like, I don't suddenly cancel, but then I'm not great at putting in like texting effort or,

I don't know, planning dates kind of effort.

But I don't think I've done anything wrong. I think last weekend was pretty nice. We had a good time.

But if I push too hard with this, like trying to get her to come anyway, I might be, um,

annoying, like I'm not respecting her wishes.

Oh, this really fucking pissed.

Is it like a last minute, I don't feel like it now, I'm gonna come up with this excuse?

Ah, I can doom stream it all weekend as well then.

Oh, fucking hell. I just want a life outside of this fucking streaming.

Something I care about.

How much hotel money would I lose? I don't know.

Oh, she's typing,

right? I gotta play it cool.

I probably gotta let it go. If I keep pushing, like, she's gonna get mad.

Maybe. I mean, sometimes they don't want the problem to be fixed. Well, I have so many solutions that I could pay, I could go pick her up.

This is not a big problem.

Yeah, but I don't want to be— I don't want to sound like I'm mad.

Oh, fuck. Okay, let's go.

Yeah, she just doesn't wanna—

she just really doesn't wanna take the money.

I'd rather see you when I can afford to.

Guys, what should I say? I'm thinking, okay, I won't push it then.

Guys, what do I say?

I mean, there's not— I mean, she, she's not budging on this.

Okay, I understand.

I won't push it then.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

She said things have just been expensive recently with like car repairs and vet and this and that, and she doesn't want to take money off me. Want to see me when she can afford to. What, what is this sudden pride over money? Like, just take the money.

I can't believe she's just rejected all my solutions.

I mean, it's really not expensive at all. She's like 2 hours away.

It's not like we're doing long distance with different countries.

So what about next weekend?

No?

Why won't she let me spend money to go and see her? I don't get it.

She just said, thanks, I really appreciate it.

What the fuck?

She thinks you're broke too.

She just doesn't want to

I can't—

oh my God.

No point inspiring. Well, I don't know what to do then.

Yeah, I already spent loads of money on her. Why are you like all of a sudden

Oh my God.

Since when does a girl not want the guy to

pay for things?

I know a lot of people live paycheck to paycheck and they don't have any savings, and then some random events like vet bills, car repairs can wipe them out. I know that's not a crazy concept.

A lot of people are like that. Like, they get their pay and then they just, I don't know, spend it all on stuff, don't they?

I mean, if she can't afford to meet this weekend, then she can't afford to meet next weekend.

Oh my God.

And it's like this crumbling of the weekend plans has made me realize my whole life has been revolving around this.

Now other than that, my whole life is just fucking streaming and being bored in my house.

Oh God, I

was supposed to see her tomorrow.

The replies are really slow now as well.

Do you care that much about her? Well,

yeah,

we talked a lot last night.

What's a bad sign?

What, the slow replies? I don't know, maybe she just got home and she's like washing up, getting some food. I don't know, I

don't know exactly, like her entire house. I don't know her exact day routine, hour to hour.

Just, I mean, yesterday she said, I'm looking forward to seeing you soon, tomorrow, and now all of a sudden, oh, I can't afford it. But if you— how? I just, I don't get it at all.

And then I can't press her for answers because I just sound like I'm a lunatic. Oh, it's just gonna stress her out, isn't it?

Fuck.

I don't

get it. She said, I can't wait to see you on Friday. Yesterday she said that. Yesterday.

What happened in 24 hours?

Look, we've planned to meet up this weekend since last weekend,

and yesterday we were chatting and she said, I'm looking forward to seeing you on Friday.

But I don't understand why she won't let me help.

What is this weird pride thing about money?

It's not even a lot of money, probably like £50 most.

She changed plans.

She said, I don't want to take money off you.

I'm just— I'm really—

yeah, I have a feeling there's a real reason, and then this reason she's given me is like the decoy reason, and I'm supposed to just take the hint.

How much money do I spend on the weekend? Well, usually I'd book one night, sometimes 2 nights, so it could be between 100 to 200.

Oh, she— well, she would get the food, so it would just get Uber Eats and it'd be like £20, £25.

We've met more than 3 or 4 times. We've been meeting every weekend for like 2 months now. Must have met nearly 8 times by now.

So what do I do? I'm just like, okay, I'll leave it.

Like, if I push, it's gonna potentially break things, isn't it?

I mean, really, from my experiences, like, being calm and mature,

uh, always is way better than like emotionally lashing out. I mean, emotionally lashing— like, what's the point? Like, okay, I get it off my chest, but then it's either going to break things, or maybe I do force her into coming and then Like, now I feel bad because now I've like forced her into doing it using emotions.

Shit.

So it sounds like she doesn't want to meet next weekend either. She's now saying, oh, we'll make the most out of the end of the month thing. Oh my God,

that's in 2 weeks. Wait, when's next weekend? Isn't that the end? Let me check. Can't— it's already halfway through the month, isn't it? So this weekend's 18th, 19th, next weekend's 25th, 26th.

So 3 weekends ago away

is, uh, Friday and then Saturday in November.

So she's saying no this weekend, no next weekend.

And then a third weekend, let me guess, another excuse comes up.

And I've already paid for that hotel, not cancelable.

But why won't she let me come to her?

Why won't— like, I don't mind spending the money. Why won't she let me spend my money to come and see her?

I can't believe this.

She says she doesn't get paid until the end of the month.

I mean, the bizarre thing is she won't let me come to see her. Like, I could— I drive all the way to see her, but she won't let me. That's the fucking crazy thing,

because it will cost me money.

Everything costs money.

Oh, I'm really fucking pissed.

She says she doesn't get paid until the end of the month, and then I said, and I can't come and see you.

But as if I give a fuck about driving 2 hours. Cost me like £15 charging,

but she's gonna be like, oh no, I don't want you to spend the £15 to come and see me.

Making this so much worse.

You said you wouldn't push it. Yeah, I know. I can't just— this is fucking insane that she's like creating this artificial barrier for us seeing each other over this money thing, and I can't spend— I can't spend my own money

to go and see her. What?

Like, you literally give me a billion dollars and it won't fix this problem then.

So I said, okay, um, you can't meet me halfway, but can I just come— what if I— can I come to you? Like, saying no to that is insane.

Like, I mean, anything could happen between now and the end of the month. I don't know,

another financial crisis and then she's broke again and can't meet. I don't know. I mean, she's booked the tickets. For the venue we're going to already, so I don't think she can back out of that one. Like, I think I'm overreacting,

guys. Am I overreacting? I think I'm overreacting. Like, I think, um, she has probably like gone overboard with the spending, and then she booked these tickets for the venue that she's really looking forward to, and then like instead of doing these 2 weekends in between now and then where she's broke, she'd rather wait until she gets paid

and she feels bad because I'm spending money. Maybe I'm just like overreacting,

but this— the thing is, this wasn't a problem yesterday. That's what I'm saying. I mean, she was saying that she's looking forward to seeing me on fucking Friday.

I might go back to my mum's house.

I need to like— I know.

I think I'm gonna pack my bags and go back to my mom's house tomorrow. Fucking— I'm really like fucking annoyed. I'm like really fucking annoyed.

I'm not— I'm not fucking sitting in this house all alone for the next 2 weeks. Where I don't even feel like this thing at this rate. I don't even feel like this thing at the end of the month is 100% locked in either.

Why am I even in this stupid fucking house then?

I can't believe this.

Like, she won't— she don't want to meet because it means we'll have to spend money, and then she doesn't want me to spend money. Like, I'd offer to pay for everything, but she doesn't want me to, so I can't do anything then. Completely powerless.

Okay.

Yeah, this is a massive shock.

I was kind of like banking on that I'm seeing her every weekend.

We don't live that far away from each other. I'm not that far away from her.

She— I'm not like making her spend that much money. She's spending like £40 a day when she meets me, like £20 to £30.

And I can easily solve this problem, but she won't let me solve it.

But I can't pressure her to see me more if she's like not

willing to because she feels financially burdened.

No, I don't think she does shit tests.

Fuck.

What the fuck am I gonna do now?

There's 2 weeks until this planned venue thing we had planned.

Like, that's 2 weeks of just texting every day,

which I'm not very good at, and I don't really have much to talk about.

She's literally organized the trip and she has no money. Yeah, I'm hoping you're right and I'm just freaking out. I mean, it's only 2 weeks, isn't it?

She says, I mean, I was just like used to seeing her every weekend.

I can't really keep saying, oh, I want to see you more, I want to see you more, because—

oh, I got my Kick money, 620.

There's our bank. Should I quickly say sorry? I said I wouldn't push it.

I said, and I can't come and see you. Should I quickly say sorry? I know I said I wouldn't push it. I'm just a bit so shocked. I'm a bit shocked.

Stop. Say that and stop texting.

Let her answer. I feel like I should like quickly apologize because I kind of let my emotions slip there. Like, this is insane that we can't meet because she won't let me come and see you. What?

Why can't I go and see you?

Yeah, but then she can pull the whole, oh, I've been seeing you every week and I've got a life too, got stuff going on. Like, things could get ugly if I keep pushing.

Just let him know you love him. I'm so disappointed.

Like maybe there's other stuff going on in her life and she's like not

like in the right space.

Shit, she's typing the same time I was typing.

Was honeymoon period open already?

She just said I won't be able to pay for food like our usual arrangement, as if I need her to pay for food. Bring a fucking sandwich.

Bring a packet of crisps and a sandwich. I'll bring a fucking pot noodle.

Got food in my fridge.

She's just like rejecting all my solutions. I mean, I could literally just say, oh, it's okay, my mom gave me a lasagna. And then she was like, oh, I can't pay for petrol. Oh, okay, I'll pick you up at your house. Oh, I don't want you to pay for electricity. Oh, it's okay, um, I get free electricity

from the government.

And then she's just gonna get pissed, isn't she? So, oh, it's okay, I, I won the lottery, I'm

a millionaire. Any problem you can come up with, I've got the solution. Unless you just don't want the solution, then that's the problem, isn't it?

So imagine not wanting to meet because you can't get Uber Eats. I can buy a £2 sandwich from Tesco. I don't know,

insane.

No, she looked up my name, found out who I am. I think she'd just block me

unless this is like the gentle letdown and like letting, letting me go. Maybe like she doesn't have the heart to just block me or confront me about it, so the gentle letdown. I mean, she doesn't really seem like the gentle kind of person, though. Like, I think she was very opinionated.

Like, I think she would just be like, oh, fuck you, and then block me. I don't think she'd be like coming up with the gentle, soft excuses. I'm really dumb. Sometimes I'm really confused.

She wants to do something aside from hotel every weekend. Like what though? We need to stay somewhere.

Well then, I'm defeated. I have no moves to play apart from like pass, right? Every move, every time it's my turn and I gotta pass my turn, there's no move I can make. I'm at an impasse.

Have dinner or drinks and go back home? What, to my home?

How, how is she going to come here when she's broke and she won't let me pay for the petrol?

Now she's saying we might have to make it every other weekend till I've got a bit more money saved.

I'm sorry.

Is this like a feminist thing where they don't like the guy paying for them?

Don't think she thinks you're not official yet. What, what does that mean? So you think she thinks we're official?

I don't understand why she won't let me pay for

things. Like, I mean,

why? I just don't get it.

I mean, no girl that I've ever been with has ever had a problem with me paying for stuff. Like, me not wanting to be paid for has never been a reason that we can't meet.

No, I don't think showing my face really matters. See if I talk or not. Like, I showed my face and didn't talk, and I still got bollocked.

Raging about it isn't going to make her want to see you. Yeah, I know. That's why it's so frustrating. It's because Because like you can't force someone to want to see you. Like, I mean, I'm sure she wants to see me, but she doesn't like the feeling of me paying for everything. Like, it, it's like, like some

kind of ego thing. Like, it hurts her ego that she can't pay for it.

I'm thinking I might go back to my mum's house. There's something I need to talk to my mum and sister about anyway, in person.

I can't fucking bear 2 weeks in this house alone. I'm gonna fucking go crazy.

No, I think— I mean, she has always tried to give me money for the hotel, and I've always said it's okay, and she's always, always seemed like a bit not happy about that.

She said work's just been really slow.

Yeah, I just— I can't get my brain over this whole you won't let me pay for stuff. It would cost you nothing.

Do you think it's like not good timing to bring up the girlfriend-boyfriend thing?

Disastrous timing. Okay.

No, we haven't talked on the phone, although she did suggest we do a video call, but then we never did it.

So I don't want to take money off you.

I don't think calling is a good idea. I'm very emotional right now.

Like, I mean, there's always cheaper solutions. I mean, I could book a cheaper hotel, or maybe I've been booking too nice of hotels and it's made her feel guilty. Or we could always just buy cheaper food. Like, I— we could buy a Tesco meal deal instead of getting Uber Eats. I don't understand why it's like end of

the world when there's literally a thousand solutions that could fix this. Like, if she wants to like chip, okay, I'll book a cheaper hotel so then like the amount she's chipping in compared to how much I'm paying isn't so skewed in one direction. Like, do you think the hotel— I mean, they're not that nice, okay? They're nicer

than like a business hotel,

but if she's not used to being like pampered like that, then maybe it's— I don't know, like money. I never thought I'm really rich though.

Like maybe she's got insecurities when it comes to money, like feeling like, oh, I'm poor and he's rich, you know, it makes me feel bad because I'm broke. Like, have you ever seen the Friends episode where 3 of them have good jobs? Like Ross, uh, Monica, and Rachel have good jobs, and then Phoebe, Joey— no wait, I

think it's Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel have shit jobs, and then Monica, Ross, and Chandler have good jobs. So then the 3 of them have a lot of money to do nice things, but the other 3 are broke, so they can't join. And it's like an ego thing. And they're like, oh, we can't afford to come. But then

Ross, Monica, and Chandler offer to pay for them. But then the 3 broke ones are like, oh no, it's okay. It makes us feel bad. Makes us feel like we're beggars. People are very strange when it comes to money because they have this pride ego thing. They don't want to feel like they're taking advantage. Even though, like,

I insist it's fine, like, I want to see you. But they have this ego thing, like, it's insane,

where they want to feel like they're pulling their weight financially. Otherwise they feel bad, and that feeling of badness feels worse than not meeting up, which is alien to me because in my mind nothing is worse than not meeting up. Like, meeting up is like

She said, please don't think it's because I don't want to see you, because I really do.

Okay,

maybe I made a mistake by not letting her pay half, but then that seems like she couldn't even pay half anyway. If I made her pay half she would be even more broke. Like, I was like, I mainly, I didn't want her to know my bank account.

嗯。

I can't. I mean, it's fucked then, aren't I?

Look, so think of it like this. It's not the end of the world, okay? We're going to meet every other weekend, okay?

So I get to see my girlfriend a grand total of twice a month?

And unless she has like, I don't know, a breakthrough in getting a better job, she's always going to be— I don't understand how she's broke

unless her parents are broke and then she's got to like chip in.

Like, imagine she lived, I don't know, 10 miles away. And I said, can't you just come over? And then she's like, oh no, it costs £5 petrol. And I said, okay, I'll give you £5. And then she's like, oh no, I don't want to take your money. Okay, I'll come to you. Oh no, I don't want you

to spend money on your car. Okay, I'll walk.

And she's putting up all these barriers.

I mean, I have no moves. I have no moves left to play. Elon Musk could give me $10 billion

and it wouldn't fix this, would it?

I'd be like, oh, okay, I'll move house. I'll go get a new house in Somerset.

What problems can't be fixed with money?

I got no moves. Like, ball's in her court.

Yeah, Ollie, she's my girlfriend. What do you think? We've been dating 2 months now.

I don't know what to do now. Like, I've got no plans now for 2 weeks. I think I'm gonna go back to my mum's house.

At least that'll distract me,

right? Imagine she goes, oh, I changed my mind, actually I can meet. And I'll be like, okay, I'm at my mum's house now though.

Seeing her in a hotel every weekend like an escort?

Yeah, because she lives with her parents and she financially doesn't seem to be able to afford to drive here, and she won't let me pay for her to come and drive here. So I mean, what am I supposed to do?

Also, I don't want her to come to my house because all it will take is one of the neighbors going, oh, hello Daniel, and then I'm fucked. She'll be like, why is your neighbors calling you Daniel?

Why do you think I've been booking hotels? I'm not bringing her back to my house, no way.

What did I tell her my name was? Oh, my name's Ollie. Ollie Lord. I'm not telling you my fake name.

My grand plan? I don't know, I was hoping like if she does find out, it's not a big deal.

But in my eyes, it's better that things started and there was something than there was nothing ever to begin with.

I really don't know. This is, this is like massive mindfuck.

I just don't understand why she's letting money stop us from meeting up. It's not even a lot of money.

I could book a place nearby where she lives and she could drive 20 minutes to the hotel, but she doesn't want me to spend money. This is so frustrating.

She said she wouldn't be able to pay for food like our usual arrangement. I said I could bring a sandwich, and then she just laughed. What's wrong with that? I'll bring a sandwich. You don't have to buy any food.

She's creating distance. Yeah, and now she said she can only meet every other weekend.

Until when?

Till I've got more money saved.

It's a

big event at the end of the month. Well, I booked a nice hotel and she booked tickets for this venue.

She— I offered to pick her up. She was like, oh, that's a long drive. She doesn't— I don't know, like, is it like a feminist thing? I don't know.

Like, can you imagine a Thai woman being like this? No way. Thai women expect you to pay for everything.

She only realized now, 24 hours before meeting, that she has no money. Yeah, I know, that's what I don't get. Yesterday she was saying, can't wait to see you this Friday, and now all of a sudden, oh, I can't afford it.

Oh my God, this has been like such an unexpected kick in the balls.

It's an excuse.

Well, I can't accuse her, can I? That's not going to help anything. She's going to be like, oh yeah, you got me.

Have I done something to irritate her? No, we were chatting yesterday like normal, and we had a nice weekend last weekend. Spent 2 nights together. I don't think I did anything wrong.

Money

isn't the problem.

I mean, she did mention that she was getting a bit low. A couple weeks ago, but I thought, no problem, I'll pay. But she doesn't want me to pay.

Really, really disappointed. Really fucking upset. I was really looking forward to this weekend and next weekend. Now this weekend and next weekend's off. What, what am I going to do?

I can't live like this in this fucking house every single day, streaming every day without anything else. This is my entire life.

It's not 3 weeks, it's 4 plus 10, 2 weeks. Yeah, she would be like, oh, it's just 2 weeks, why are you freaking out? Yeah, maybe I am freaking out over just 2 weeks.

Yeah, I don't know why I'm like really fucking losing my mind here.

Am I expecting too much to want to meet every weekend?

Am I supposed to think she's just going to do nothing on the weekend? Like, she's probably going to see her friends, like, I don't know, get a tea or something.

So she can afford to buy a £10, £5 tea or cup cafe coffee thing.

I don't even know why I came back to this house now.

Yeah, and then every other week becomes, oh, just one weekend a month. And then I'm like, what?

Like, maybe she's regretting matching someone who lives so far away.

I don't know. I don't know.

Do you think this is like—

I'm not like— in my mind, I kind of want to

ask about our relationship status. Like, are we girlfriend-boyfriend?

Don't ask. Why can't I just say there's something I want to talk about? Since I'm not going to see you in person for a while, I wasn't sure if I should ask you on text.

Like, maybe it seems really insecure to like ask it now.

Get some clarification.

Seems insecure.

I mean, we both have said that we are dating. Like, doesn't that mean we're girlfriend and boyfriend?

Oh God, I don't know how—

seems like my whole world just imploded.

Holy shit, the market tanked. I should have taken that £25.

I can't think about anything else, like gaming. Fuck that.

What if I text my sister?

I text my sister

for girl advice, like see what she thinks.

What's happened? I was supposed to see my girlfriend tomorrow. Now she's saying she doesn't have enough money to meet up, and I offered to pay and she doesn't want me to pay because she said she doesn't want to take money off of me, even though I said it's okay. So now she's saying she can't meet until our,

um, planned event at the end of the month, which is after she gets paid. And now she's saying she might have to only be able to meet me every other week until she gets her savings back up, and then she won't let me help her financially.

Oh, my sister.

Makes her— says she can't afford to meet, doesn't want me to pay, makes her feel bad.

Let's see what a woman's intuition says.

Sometimes I'm really glad I got a sister and not a brother.

I hope my sister's just gonna say, oh yeah, that's normal.

I do sometimes worry that she might be thinking that I'm just using her.

My sister said it sounds weird. Did she seem off yesterday? No, we chatted like normal.

Fuck, if even my sister's saying it's weird.

I mean, the only problem is petrol. Petrol isn't even that expensive.

The petrol literally be like £20, £30.

She isn't even entertaining you picking her up. Yeah, because she'll just say, oh, I can't pay for food. Oh, I don't want you to pay for your car.

I just think this is karma. Maybe she's got another guy.

Guys, I think like this whole house and living in Devon thing, like I think the entire thing hinges around this girl. Like, I mean, if I lose her,

I really don't think I can continue living here. I mean, I was dying because I was completely alone. I mean, I was already thinking of packing it all up,

but then I met her and it was good. And then I felt like, actually, yeah, I guess I'll stay at the house.

But if I lose her too, like, I got no reason to continue on here.

I got to make contingency plans for worst-case scenario.

English girls who want initiative aren't for you. But I've been showing every initiative, like I offered this and I offered that and I suggested that and she just shot me down every time.

Like, why did she agree to meet him this weekend if she didn't think she could afford it?

I mean, a couple days ago she did say there's a small chance she might not be able to come because she might not be able to book her car tires for replacement, but then she said she got it booked and she got them replaced. Makes me feel like she was kind of hoping that she couldn't get the

car booked in, but then she couldn't use that as an excuse, so then she came up with another excuse. I mean, she could have just pretended she couldn't get the car booked in because that would have been a more believable excuse than I don't want you to pay for stuff. Unless she just generally does feel bad for

making me pay for stuff.

My initiative to live together— well, that's just way too soon for that,

and it involves changing jobs and someone's got to move somewhere.

I don't know, like, why can't people be honest? Did I do something wrong?

Is it really all just a money thing? Like, people— lots of people have different ideas about money, like faster expected me to pay for everything, and when I didn't want to, she got hurt.

Like, everyone's got their different ideas about money and who should pay what and how much should be paid for each other. Like, should they be independent or dependent?

I might plug my charger in. I mean, I might plug my car in, charge it so I drive home tomorrow. I'm not staying here, but I just stocked the fridge full of food. Like, she's saying she doesn't— she can't pay for food. I literally have a fridge full of food.

I can literally bring the food.

I can't focus on anything.

I don't even know if I can sleep tonight.

It's crazy how, I don't know, everything in life seems great one moment and then it all comes collapsing down.

What to do now?

Yeah, such a high mood a couple hours ago with that shotgun.

There's a chance she knows. No.

I just don't know.

Like, am I, am I being too like horny, sex obsessed, and like she thinks I'm just using her for sex?

I don't think the camera angle is really the problem. It's when I don't interact with the stream. That's the problem.

Uh, I might end the stream to like lock in the 3 hours

because I'm like pretty distracted, so I'm going to take a short break and come back.