My darkest secret

Hey guys, welcome to a brand new video.

I'm going to tell you a dark, dark secret.

Now, this story is 100% true, no joke.

You could say this is one of my darkest

secrets, so shh, don't tell anyone. The

story starts like this. It was another

boring day at secondary school. I was

queuing up to buy my lunch as usual. My

school had a cafeteria with seats and

tables and an area where you can buy food.

They had all kinds of junk food: hot dogs,

pizza, burgers, lots of delicious stuff.

So I joined the back of the queue,

started to think about what I was going to

eat for lunch that day. Hmm, should I go

for a burger? A pizza? Maybe I could get

one of those bacon and egg burgers. So I

picked up a tray and waited my turn. I

finally got to where the food was and I

chose a nice bacon and egg sandwich for

myself. I had just enough money to buy a

bacon and egg sandwich. But that just

wasn't enough. I wanted something extra,

like a side snack. Hmm, maybe a nice

packet of crisps. But damn it, I didn't

have enough money. I was saving my money

to buy a new PlayStation game, so I didn't

want to spend too much money on food. You

know what it's like, sometimes video games

just have to take priority over food. So I

really wanted the packet of crisps, but

what do I do? I didn't have enough money.

Well, I was wearing my big winter coat

which had very big pockets, so while no

one was looking, I took the packet of

crisps and slipped it into my winter coat

pocket. My heart was pounding as I reached

the cash register. I took out my pound

coin and paid for the egg and bacon

sandwich. Luckily, no one saw me, so I

headed towards the exit with my stolen

goods in my pockets. Now, at my school,

usually there were 2 people guarding the

door. To make sure people don't walk out

of the cafeteria with food. But if you

just put your food in your coat pocket,

then you can sneak out. So that's what I

did. I managed to sneak out and I had my

bacon and egg sandwich and my precious,

precious crisps. I can't actually remember

what crisps they were. I think they were

bacon-flavoured Space Invaders. I opened

the packet and took a bite. It tasted so

good. I don't know why, but food always

tastes better when it's free. I didn't

feel bad or guilty at all. Actually, I

enjoyed it. It was thrilling and exciting.

I wanted to do it again, but this time

something bigger. Maybe next time I could

slip the egg and bacon sandwich into my

pocket. No, no, no, better stop while

you're ahead there. Don't want to get

caught. That could be embarrassing.

It's always best to quit while you're

ahead. Sometimes people get too greedy and

they get caught. They get caught

red-handed, and that's when it all goes

downhill. You gotta stop. Gotta stop while

you're— while you're ahead. Sometimes I

have dreams, and I'm back at my school

cafeteria, queuing up with my tray in

hand, thinking about what to slip into my

pocket. Sometimes in the dream I'd get

caught, and then I'd suddenly wake up in

my bed, lying in a pool of sweat. Whoa,

whoa, whoa, are you sure you want to be

sharing this information with a bunch of

strangers? This was well over 15 years

ago. I was just a school kid. A hungry,

hungry school kid. Pretty sure they won't

mind. I mean, no one's perfect, right? We

all have our skeletons in our closets.

Some people just have bigger skeletons, I

guess. Anyway, thanks for watching the

video. I hope you enjoyed it. I really,

really do. And now that you know my

darkest secret, I hope that you guard it

with your life. If this information got

into the wrong hands, The peace of the

galaxy could be threatened.