why I will never become a father [tkXP8kw71xs]

So as many of you may know, me and my

girlfriend have been trying to get

pregnant for basically since the beginning

that we got together, which was about 2

months ago. And it has come to my sad

conclusion that I probably am in fact

infertile. I didn't have solid proof or

concrete evidence for this apart from a

few ex-relationships where we didn't use

rubber duckies and there were no babies to

be found even after several months of

copulation. And me and my girlfriend, we

haven't done any kind of contraceptive or

protective measures. We don't use any kind

of protection apart from the first time on

the first night. But since then, we've

been together for 2 months, and after 2

months, there's still no babies.

Otherwise, I would have made a video

announcing that we are pregnant. So

obviously she's not pregnant, and she has

in fact just finished her second

menstruation cycle, which means that she

has no babies because obviously when you

get pregnant, your period doesn't come

again. Now, I haven't been officially

diagnosed. I haven't gone to a hospital or

clinic to get officially tested. I have

done a home kit where you test it yourself

by putting it into a little compartment

thing, leaving it overnight, and then it

has color-coded indications telling you if

your swimmers are very active, mildly

active, or just completely inactive. And

the color code works this way: so super

active would have been very dark purple,

and then mildly active would just be a

normal kind of purple, slightly faded,

and then not very active would be a very

faded purple, and then not active at all

would just be no purple at all. And my

test results came back as purple— not dark

deep purple, but not super faded purple.

It was like in the middle, slightly purple

and just slightly faded, which means my

swimmers are not completely inactive.

They're not super active either, but they

are showing signs of activity. So I don't

know why I don't seem to be able to

impregnate anyone for some reason. None of

my exes got impregnated either. I don't

know if it's because she's too old. She is

in her mid-30s. So she is getting to that

age where fertility rates do start to

plummet. But I've been with younger

girlfriends. For example, my previous

girlfriend was only 26 or 27, 5 years

younger than me. So she had no excuse not

to be able to bear children. And we were

together for like 9 months and we were

doing it at least once or twice every day.

So we did it probably at least over a

9-month time span, probably hundreds of

times unprotected. And no babies there

either. So the problem must be with me.

And I don't really know how to feel about

this. The idea of never being able to have

my own family, never being able to

experience the joy of being a father and

raising children has a weird effect on my

emotions. In a way, I feel a bit relieved

because obviously I'm not ready to be a

dad right now. I'm not emotionally mature

enough. I don't make enough money. And I'm

probably not in the right space in my life

to be able to become a father and maintain

a family, be responsible over other

people's lives. But I thought it would be

nice to think in the future, maybe at one

point, at some point, maybe in my 40s or

50s, I will reach a point where I make

enough money and I am mature enough to

become the head of a family. But it seems

like getting a girlfriend and getting a

willing woman to be the mother of my child

isn't the biggest problem because I've had

girlfriends and I don't really struggle to

find a girlfriend. Maybe it would take me

a year to get a new girlfriend, maybe less

than a year to get a new girlfriend if I'm

lucky. But that's not the problem. The

problem isn't getting the girlfriend. The

problem is that I'm not even physically or

biologically capable of making children.

And it's really strange. I don't really

know exactly why this is. I've got

suspicions. Number one suspicion is

because of a certain disease that I picked

up from an ex back in 2014. That could be

the reason why I am infertile. So if you

don't know the story, I'll just recap the

story quickly. Basically, in 2014, I dated

a Japanese woman for about 3 months. And

before we got together, she had some fun

in a nightclub with another guy and they

didn't use rubber duckies and she got

infected with a certain STD that begins a

C called chlamydia. She passed it on to

me, and I didn't get it treated for a few

weeks because in the beginning I didn't

really think it was anything serious.

Actually, in the beginning I didn't even

know what it was. I remember just feeling

a weird sensation when I peed. It was kind

of like it was burning or someone was

pinching my you-know-what, and it was

uncomfortable to pee. But I thought,

okay, it's just like a bladder infection,

maybe it would go away in a while. It

didn't go away and it started to get very

painful when I peed. And not only was it

painful, I started to get swellings like

inflammation in my elbow and inflammation

on my knee where it would just swell up

and I couldn't actually bend my arm

properly. It would just be swollen so I

couldn't bend it and my knee was unable to

bend. And it was really weird. I started

to get other pains around my groin area

and that was the point where we thought

Maybe we should get checked out because my

girlfriend at the time was also having

pain. She would wake up in the middle of

the night and start screaming in pain. So

at that point, after a few weeks or nearly

a month of being infected untreated, she

decided to go and get checked out. And the

doctor said that he thinks we both have

some kind of STD. So we decided to book

ourselves into a you know what clinic and

we got tested, blood tests, urine tests,

and came back that we were positive for

chlamydia. And when I googled what are the

effects of having untreated treated

chlamydia, and it's said that women may

become infertile. It might have an effect

on the ovaries and the canals and eggs.

So I don't really think it's going to

affect me, but it seems like it also makes

men infertile in a few cases. And since

I was untreated for such a long time, I

reckon that could be the reason why I

can't have babies. Because before getting

chlamydia, I did have a few girlfriends,

but we were always very careful with

things like rubber duckies and putting out

and not finishing inside. So before

chlamydia, I never really had experiences

where I was trying to get a girl pregnant.

So for that reason, it's kind of difficult

to compare the effects, the outcomes

before and after getting chlamydia,

because I only had about— I think I only

had 2 girlfriends before the chlamydia

girlfriend. It was only after about 2017

that I found out how to get loads of

girlfriends and become very active with my

man drive. Apart from that, I don't really

know why, what reason I would have to not

be able to create babies. I don't really

think there's any hereditary problem or

any kind of physical problem with my body.

My body is all perfectly functioning. But

I have seen stories where men and women or

man and wife have been trying to have kids

and for some reason they just cannot do

it. For example, in Friends, Chandler and

Monica, they try to have kids and they

just couldn't do it. And they went to a

clinic and the doctor said that Chandler's

you-know-whats are too timid and too weak,

and Monica's you-know-whats is too hostile

of an environment. And maybe I'm the same

because personality-wise I am kind of

timid and weak. Maybe my you-know-whats

are similar and they just, they try to get

in and then they just kind of give up

because they're too lazy or something. So

when me and my girlfriend got together the

first time, we didn't use you-know-whats.

She was a bit worried, as any woman would

be or should be. And she was like, aren't

you worried that we might end up getting

pregnant? And I jokingly said, not really,

because maybe I'm infertile. Hehe. And she

thought I was just joking, messing around.

And she's like, are you really infertile?

How do you know? And I just said, because

I never had a kid before. So 2 months

later, I think she finally believes me

that she's— she said that Maybe I think

you are actually infertile. And I said,

well, I told you so. Now I'm worried that

she might dump me because I guess I've

proven to her that I am infertile.

There's no way a man and woman can be

sleeping together for over 2 months and

there's no babies. Sometimes, you know,

accidents happen and girls get pregnant

just from one time. So it's kind of silly

that we could have been doing it for

hundreds of times and this no pregnancy.

There must be something wrong. And I'm

wondering if she's really serious about

having kids because she has said that she

would like to have kids at least a few

times in her life before she gets too old.

And it seems like she does want to be a

mother and she would like to have a

family. And I'm wondering if she would

actually dump me if I prove to her that

I'm not capable of having kids. Women

don't have a lot of time. They have a

biological clock ticking down. If they're

in their 20s, sure, they can mess about

and have fun, but really when they're in

their mid-20s, they need to start thinking

about settling down, finding a good guy to

make a family with. If they're really

serious about making a family, they have

until the end of their 20s to really take

it seriously. By the time they've gone

past their mid-30s, the clock is really

ticking. You don't really have a lot of

time left. If you reach your 40s and you

still haven't found a guy to start a

family with, the chances of you actually

becoming a mother and starting a family

basically go down to like 2%. So if she's

serious about becoming a mother and having

a family of her own, is it really wise to

be wasting her last precious few years of

her 30s with me? It'd be better off if we

just break it off and she finds a guy who

actually has working you-know-whats

instead of spending like 2, 3, 4 years

with me, and then she gets to 40 and then

it doesn't really work out with us and

there's still no babies between us, and

then she's got to start the whole process

again of dating and looking for a new guy.

By the time she finds a new boyfriend,

she'll be like 40-something, 41, 42.

That's too late. I know there are women

who are in their 40s and 50s and even 60s

who have had kids and were able to get

pregnant, and it is technically possible

using science and technology, but it's

kind of risky when you have a kid in your

40s or 50s. The chances of the kid having

some kind of illness or disease, stuff

like Down syndrome or deformities when

it's born, significantly increase.

And it's very hard to, to have a healthy

baby the older you get as a woman. Now,

as a man, I could have a kid when I'm 50

or 60. Well, if my sperm worked. If I was

going to impregnate a woman at 50 or 60,

it doesn't really make any difference

because I'm just providing the sperm. She

has to provide the body that the baby

grows in, and the woman has to be strong

and mentally active and mentally healthy

and fit to be able to give birth and raise

a kid. You don't want to be like 50 years

old when your kid is a 2-year-old. By the

time you're 50, you want your kid to be

like 30 or 40. By the time you're 40, you

want to have at least a teenage kid or a

20-year-old kid. You really got to start

this at an early age as a woman if you're

serious about having a family. I guess my

girlfriend didn't really prioritize having

a family when she was younger, and she

prioritized things like studying and

trying to get a good job. Yeah, I do

wonder what her thoughts are on the idea

of us never being able to have our own

kids. Does she still want to continue with

me? Would she want to end things if she

knows there's no future chances or

possibilities of us becoming parents? I

guess we'll have to find out.