im gay

Testing,

testing.

It's back.

Don't know what happened, had to restart

Streamlabs.

Okay, where was I? Bring the Idol of

the Faithful to the Altar of Redemption.

Welcome your pain, for the

agony of the flesh is the first cleansing

of the soul. Make your faith stronger

than any hurt.

Streamlabs is weirdly buggy sometimes.

I haven't even lost internet connection

and then it just doesn't want to stream

for some reason. My internet was still on,

the game was still on, so I

don't know. I just had to end— I had to

force it to end, end task,

and then open it again.

Look around at the mountains towering over

you. Feel how small you are.

Embrace humility. Accept your place

in worship to the Father, for he has shown

us the way.

Look around at the mountains towering over

you. Feel how small you are.

Embrace humility. Accept your

place in worship to the Father,

for he has shown us the way.

I'm in trouble now because

I complained about money.

Oh my God,

that thing hit so hard.

Oh.

The end nears, pilgrim. Look into

yourself. Find your faith.

Feel how it fills the void within you.

Remember, you are nothing without faith.

Hold fast to the light

and remember.

So I like playing cards. Doesn't make me a

sinner. But that bribe— good soldiers

died.

I don't

know if I can stream tomorrow. My tongue

hurts. It's so painful to talk.

Why does this keep happening? Maybe it's

stress.

When I'm stressed, I get this painful lump

under my tongue,

and then it takes like a week to go away.

I just don't really feel like talking.

Sehr hart.

Yet you stand before me, ones from

the Father's vaults.

Will I be watching Ice's streams in Korea?

I watched a bit.

He was eating an octopus. I think he

had a fight with Kim, so he wasn't

streaming yesterday.

He said to Sam Pepper— I

think Sam Pepper asked if he could watch

Ice and Kim have sex, and then Ice said,

no, but when I fuck a prostitute next

time, you can watch. And then Kim was

like, what do you mean when? No, he said,

when I'm single, you can watch me fuck a

prostitute. And then he quickly changed it

to, if I'm single again. And then I think

Kim got upset because he said, when I'm

single again.

So then he didn't stream yesterday because

I think they were arguing.

So I watched Sam. He was freaking out on a

mountainside saying he's stuck.

That was kind of funny.

They were eating a live octopus. It was

disgusting,

biting its legs off.

Streaming is tough when you have a

girlfriend. You say one thing

wrong and then they get all upset and

they're like, oh, what did you mean when

you said X, Y, and Z? And then you got

to explain yourself and say, no, I didn't

mean that. You you misunderstood.

Happens to me all— I mean, it happens to

me right now because

I complained about money.

I think it's nearly impossible to avoid

streaming and then saying something wrong

and then having to explain yourself.

Because you just say stuff and it comes

out— maybe it comes out wrong, or maybe

you're just venting because you're

stressed out about something, or you're

trying to be funny and then it just

doesn't come out right.

Ugh, streaming is a pain in the backside.

It's really not good for relationships.

I'm not even being sarcastic, I'm just

whining. Actually, I'm never sarcastic

videos. It's just pure negativity.

It's just whining and bitching, really.

I never really say

anything on purpose that is sarcastic.

It's like my actual feelings, but then

times 10.

10 negativity. What a boring

game. Yeah, it's pretty dull, isn't it?

You just run around, smash hordes

of monsters, go to town,

get new stuff.

Surely it gets more fun later.

Oh, oh, well, if none of my videos blow

up I'm gonna make like 50 videos about

this. Even if each video only makes $1,

I'll get my money back.

I guess it's good if you got something

playing in the background, like a

livestream or a video, and you're just

watching that. You're not really paying

attention to the game. Something to fiddle

with. It's like a fidget spinner, isn't

it? You don't really care about it that

much, but it's kind of satisfying to mess

gives you this false sense of progress and

achieving stuff that humans really like.

But usually it's difficult, so you gotta

do something challenging to get the sense

of achievement. Video games kind of cheat

that system because it tricks

you into thinking you're doing something