Why I regret buying the Nintendo Switch

Hello and welcome to my penis.

Oh shit, that's sexy.

Ahem. Hello and welcome to my Nintendo

Switch review. I bought one of these

little gadget things recently just out

of pure boredom because I have nothing

better to do. And the reason why I haven't

been making as many videos as I usually do

is just because I've been playing this

Nonstop every single day for about 2 weeks

now. And I wanted to make a little video

just to tell you, tell you the things that

I dislike about it. Okay, so the main

reason why I bought it in the first place

was because I wanted to play Fortnite on

it. I was playing Fortnite on my phone and

the touch controls just weren't very good,

so I thought, hey, I'd buy a Switch and it

has buttons and it might be easier to

control. But I was completely wrong.

These Joy-Con controller things are just

complete rubbish. It's just utter garbage.

And the main problem with the Joy-Con

controllers is that this right thumbstick

is too low down and it's difficult. Look,

when you're holding it like this and you

want to switch between using the buttons

and moving the camera around, it takes too

long to switch between the two. And it's

in a weird place. Like, you don't hold a

controller, a regular controller, and have

the thumbstick down here. The thumbstick's

usually around here, diagonal. From the

buttons, and it just doesn't feel good.

Yeah, I know you can buy a Pro Controller,

but I don't like having to buy an extra

expensive controller just because they

give you a shit controller with the

device. Why don't they give you the good

controller with it in the first place and

not force you to have to buy a decent

controller? It's like you buy a car and

then they give you a rubbish plastic

steering wheel and they say, oh, you can

buy the good steering wheel if you pay an

extra blah blah blah amount of money. So

I'm not very happy with the Joy-Con

controller. I actually find it very

difficult to play Fortnite now using this,

so I went back to playing Fortnite on my

phone. I actually find it easier to play

Fortnite using my phone using touch

controls compared to this crappy Joy-Con

thing. The Joy-Con is fine for playing

games like single-player games where you

don't need to have fast reactions, but for

online FPS games or shooter games It's

really bad. My next complaint is the

charging hole, which they've placed right

at the bottom of the console, which means

that when you use the cheap, flimsy,

crappy kickstand to prop it up, you can't

charge it at the same time because the

table is blocking. You have it propped up

like this and you can't access the

charging hole because it's at the bottom.

I can't believe an entire design team all

agreed that this would be a good idea.

Why didn't they place it at the top?

Look, you could easily place the charging

hole at the top of the thing. My next

complaint is the cheap flimsy kickstand.

So there's a little kickstand on the side

and it's very difficult to get out

actually. You have to put a lot of force

into putting it open and it feels like

it's gonna snap when you do put it open.

It feels like— look, it's so wobbly and

flimsy and it makes this horrible clicking

sound. It just feels like cheap plastic

and for some reason they've decided to put

it to the side of the console instead of

in the center. So that means unless you

have a really flat solid surface,

you can't use the kickstand because it

will just fall over. If you try propping

it up on a soft surface like a pillow or a

carpet, it won't stand up. It will fall

over because they only put one kickstand

on the side. They could have put another

one here to make it more stable, or they

could have put a wider one in the middle.

But this kickstand is just really bad.

Now you can buy accessories, you can buy a

stand which fixes both of these problems,

so the Switch rests on this groove and

then you can charge it at the same time,

and this is a lot more stable. But the

problem is, I don't want to have to buy

accessories to fix stupid design problems

because Nintendo's design team are

incompetent. There's all these little

flaws like the controllers sucking and the

charging hole being at the bottom and the

stand being rubbish, and you have to buy

all these extra things like the Pro

Controller or proper stand to fix these

silly little problems. It just feels like

Nintendo made all of these errors,

all of these design flaws, on purpose to

force you into having to spend more money

on the Pro Controller or accessories or

stuff like that. Also, I have to say the

battery life isn't very good. I can play

for about 2 to 3 hours before needing to

charge again. After about 2 and a half

hours of gameplay, it would go down to 15%

and it will start flashing, you need to

charge your console. And I just don't

think that 2 and a half hours is very good

for a portable machine. You're supposed to

be able to play this outside. What if I

want to play for more than 3 hours? I have

to walk around with my battery bank, or I

need some kind of way to charge it up.

Also, the screen isn't very good compared

to the iPhone. After playing Fortnite on

my iPhone X, and then switching to playing

Fortnite on the Switch, there's a huge

difference between the screens. This

screen is just lower resolution, it's not

as colorful or detailed or vibrant. Also,

the sound doesn't sound as good as the

iPhone X. On the iPhone X, you have

front-facing speakers and it sounds really

good, but on the Switch, I don't even know

where the speakers are. I think they're

coming out of these holes, but the sound,

the audio quality on the Switch just

sounds so muffled And it doesn't sound as

clear and sharp as the iPhone X speakers

do. The Switch also comes with this

Joy-Con grip where you can slot the

Joy-Cons into it and you can use it like a

controller. And I have to say, this is a

lot better. It's a lot more comfortable

using it like this than having the

Joy-Cons attached to the Switch. But the

Switch's screen is very small and it's

very uncomfortable to play it hunched over

staring at this tiny screen. It would be

much better if I could connect it to my

iPad, for example. You can connect it to

the TV, but the TV's too big. I don't want

to play games on such a huge screen, and

my eyesight isn't great. So even though

the TV's really big, it's a bit far away,

and I find it a little bit difficult to

see. So my current solution is I use my

special stand that I bought, and I just

prop it up like this, and I use the

Joy-Con grips. Or if I'm feeling lazy, I

just attach the Joy-Cons to, to the

screen, and I sit back and play like that.

I never use the dock thing just because I

don't really like playing— why isn't it

focusing? I don't, I don't like playing

the Switch on a big TV. That's just my

personal preference. I'm more of a— I'm

more used to PC gaming where you sit in

front of the computer monitor and you have

it very close to you. Also, some people

were saying that if you're not careful

when you put the Switch into the dock,

there's a chance that your screen on the

Switch can get scratched up, which is a

really stupid design flaw again. I don't

know how the design team on Nintendo got

away with that or overlooked that. So you

can buy screen protectors, you can even

buy like a special cloth that goes into

the slot to prevent the screen from

scratching. That hasn't happened to me yet

because I don't use the dock. I used it

maybe once and then I, I stopped using it.

I don't understand why there's these big

black bars around the screen. It would

have been nice if they got rid of the

black bars Maybe they could have made the

screen display larger, or they could have

just shrunk the whole size of the Switch,

because I feel like the Switch is a weird

size. It's very long, and it kind of feels

like you're holding a plank of wood. It

doesn't feel very compact. Or they could

have placed front-facing speakers on the

sides, larger speakers, so the sound is

better. And if we actually turn the Switch

on, you can see it's, it's very

responsive, and it also has a touchscreen.

You don't have to use the controllers.

You can use it like a little tablet or a

little smartphone. And you can see I have

2 games. Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which

is— it's okay. It's not bad, I guess. I'm

not really a huge fan of Zelda. I've never

really been a huge fan of Nintendo,

actually. I don't like Super Mario. I

think he's a stupid, ugly, short little

fat man who has terrible fashion sense. I

mean, who wears a blue and red outfit?

And his only special ability is being able

to jump up and down on enemies. He's the

most boring, ugliest dumbest looking

character in existence. And I'm not a fan

of Kirby or Pokémon. I just don't really

find Nintendo characters appealing or

interesting, mainly because I'm not a

10-year-old. They're very colorful and

well-designed and they look interesting if

you're a child. If you're over the age of

16, I don't understand how you can be into

Nintendo. You get a lot of Nintendo fans

who are in their 20s or 30s and they

absolutely love Nintendo, and I just don't

get it. How can you love something that's

made for kids when you're a grown adult?

I would genuinely feel embarrassed if I

called myself a Mario fan or a Pokémon fan

when I'm 29 years old. That's just not

something you want to let people know

about. Just keep that stuff secret. You

get people like YouTubers like MaxMofo who

have an entire channel dedicated to

opening Pokémon card packs, and I just— I

don't get it. He's a grown man. I used to

love Pokémon cards as well when I was a

12-year-old. I grew out of it. I just

don't understand how something that's for

children can, can entertain an adult and

keep him interested in it for such a long

time. I don't know, maybe there's

something wrong with me. I wish I could

enjoy more things like other people do,

but I'm just a boring person, I guess. I

guess Zelda is the one I hate least, but

Zelda always seems like it's the same

story, you know? There's some kind of evil

thing that wants to do something bad to

the kingdom, and then Princess Zelda,

she's in trouble, you have to go and save

her, and then Link wakes up and he always

seems to lose his memory, and he's the

most bland, boring character ever. He

never speaks, he has no personality, you

don't really know anything about him,

he's just like a blank canvas. And I also

have Fortnite, which I don't play on the

Switch anymore. I went back to playing

Fortnite on my phone, which kind of makes

Makes it pointless buying the Switch in

the first place. There's also an eShop

where you can buy games,

and I think the games are really

overpriced. For Zelda: Breath of the Wild,

it cost me about $65, and that game came

over— came out over a year ago. It's not

even a new game, it's a really old game,

and it cost me $65 to buy it. If you want

to buy a brand new game, it will cost over

$80. And I just think that's way too much

for a video game. And most of these games,

they don't even offer you a free demo, so

you don't even know what the game's going

to be like unless you read lots of reviews

and watch lots of videos about it. So if

you don't like the game, you've bought it,

you're kind of screwed. You can't refund

it on the eShop. Maybe you can refund it

in a normal shop, I don't know. I just

don't like the idea of having to spend $80

over on a game that I I don't know if I'm

gonna like or not. So that was my Nintendo

Switch review. I hope you liked it. I know

it's a bit different to my usual videos,

and I'll try to get back to making more

videos soon. As soon as I beat this bloody

Zelda game. I think I'm halfway through

now. And I'm sorry about all the wind

blowing sounds into the microphone. I'm

too lazy to fix all of that, so you just

have to put up with it.