GIRLFRIEND NOT COMING HOME ALL DAY ：D

Hello

everyone.

Your hotspot keeps killing the streams.

Well, today I renewed my expired SIM card,

so I've got 2 hotspots.

So hopefully today's stream works.

I don't know why yesterday it disconnected

after 6 hours,

and then I couldn't reconnect it for some

reason, so I just gave up and let it

disconnect, and I ended it.

I was gonna end it at that time anyway, so

it's okay.

Testing, testing.

Okay, test's pretty good.

Oh my God, so stressful recently with the

internet situation.

So for some reason I can't connect to the

apartment's Wi-Fi even though it's really

good and it has like 200 download and 100

upload.

And I was pretty happy because I had

really good Wi-Fi plus my SIM card.

But then

yesterday, after I uploaded my Sonic

Frontier video, I can't connect to the

stupid apartment Wi-Fi anymore, and it

just says connected with no internet.

And my girlfriend messaged the apartment

people and they said they'll sort it out,

but they haven't done anything yet.

I think maybe they switched it on and off

or they changed some settings and that

somehow disabled the Wi-Fi.

Kind of annoying.

And then all of my SIM cards expired

because it's been over 30 days since I

bought my SIM cards, but then I, I renewed

one of them for about £20,

and then my girlfriend decided to buy me 2

other SIM cards because she found a cheap

website to buy them from.

They only cost about £10 each.

Those 2 SIM cards came yesterday, but I

don't know how to activate them.

You had to contact this LINE message

thing, but it's all in Thai.

She said she would do it, but you had to

wait between 8:30 PM and 11 PM.

For some reason, you had to do it during

this time window, but we ended up having

sex at 8 PM, and then we fell asleep until

like 2 AM.

So I didn't get that activated.

I don't know how to do it.

It seems like some weird shady company

that just sells bootleg SIM cards or

something.

I don't know.

I got fed up, so I just renewed my second

expired SIM card for another £20

without telling her.

So I've got like 5 SIM cards now.

3 of them are not active.

Stupid apartment Wi-Fi is not working.

And now I've only got 2 SIM cards now from

hotspots on my 2 phones bonded together

using Speedify.

So hopefully we have a stable connection.

And my girlfriend's not coming home all

day today until probably 10 PM.

So I've got 4 plus— I've got 14 hours to

kill.

So it should be a good amount of time to

play some Cyberpunk.

What time is it here?

It's 8:40 AM in the morning.

I've done everything I need to do.

I pushed— did push-ups, shaved, shower,

brushed teeth, tidied up a little bit.

I don't have any wet tissues for my mop,

so I can't clean the floor, it's covered

in hair again.

So that's fine.

Got my gamer juice.

I hate it when you're trying to game,

there's stuff you gotta do.

So I got nothing to do.

I think

I might, might play until about 8 PM, so

that's 12 hours.

Hopefully there's no disconnects.

Okay, where's the game?

I've got too many little buttons at the

bottom.

How do I get rid of— I'll get rid of

Microsoft Store,

get rid of—

I need all these.

There's not enough room in a little bottom

bar.

Get rid of Norton Security.

I don't want to close it, I just want to

remove it from the taskbar.

I guess I could just Alt+Tab.

I can't find the game.

Where is it?

7:42 PM here.

Where,

in the UK?

No, it can't be 7:42 PM, must be like 1

AM.

I don't like this new time zone.

Well, I'll be streaming for like 12 hours,

so that's half the day.

Half of the time zone in the whole world

that I'm hitting.

I can't open the damn game because there's

too many tabs, stupid windows.

Oh, there it is.

It's randomly popped up.

That's weird.

Why can't I hear any sound?

Hey, hey everyone, welcome to InfoFlash.

System output, Realtek.

Oh, there it is.

My laptop's going weird.

You know, on Windows 11, you click on the—

hold on.

You know, on Windows 11, you click on the

bottom right thing, and then you can open

up a little mini tab for volume and

Internet connections.

For some reason, when I click on that now,

it doesn't pop up, so I have to

right-click it and go into the, the big

settings to change things.

It's really annoying.

I don't know if my laptop's gonna explode

doing these 10-hour livestreams almost

every day.

Will a 12-hour livestream be your record

length?

No, my longest was 14 hours after I left

Chihiro and I was in Korea.

And that was when Chihiro and Casey

started livestreaming at the same time

whilst I was streaming.

Then I was watching their stream on my

stream.

That was funny.

And then she started telling everyone that

I didn't pay tax, so I told everyone that

her brother KYC'd himself.

And then everyone's like, oh Daniel,

that's going too far, that's crossing a

line.

And I was like, well, she started it,

telling everyone that I'm committing

felonies.

Oh, what's this?

I don't know.

It seems a lot smoother today when I open

the inventory.

So when my girlfriend gets my, my 2 new

SIM cards activated, I'll have 5 SIM

cards.

Can you imagine streaming with 5 SIM

cards?

That'd be insane.

Long time no see, all.

Yes, welcome back to the Twitch streams.

I am addicted to Cyberpunk.

It's the best freaking game ever played,

apart from the lengthy cutscenes and

boring dialogue with boring characters.

I'm really enjoying the atmosphere, the

vibe, and the gameplay, and I think today

I I want to reset my perk points because I

just randomly put them all over the place

instead of specializing in the kind of

gameplay that I'm doing, which is mostly

blade stuff.

And I got this time slowing down thing.

It's not the Sandevistan, it is a

different thing called—

oh, it is a Sandevistan.

I thought I got something else.

It slows time by 50% for 12 seconds.

It's so overpowered.

I can't believe how many high-level

enemies I've managed to take down just by

spamming this.

Well, not spamming it, but using it and

then spamming the katana.

I took down level 25 quest characters.

There was this side quest we have to go to

a boxing ring and box this level 25 ripped

woman, but I just didn't do any damage, so

I couldn't be bothered.

I decided to sneak in and kill them all,

which was pretty funny.

It's— the IDIS have SIM cards from

multiple providers, so you get connection

when one provider doesn't have reception.

Yeah, sometimes using a phone as a hotspot

can be unreliable, like the connection

just randomly drops for a few seconds,

which can cause the livestream to

disconnect.

And then I lose my viewers because they

think, oh, stream ended, I'm going to bed.

If I have multiple connections, then if

one connection drops, then it will still

have other connections to fall back on,

and then the stream would keep going.

That's why you see on my Twitch streams—

well, apart from yesterday because I only

had one connection yesterday— but my

Twitch streams, it never disconnects even

after streaming for like 6 or 7 hours

because I've been using multiple

connections.

But the YouTube streams kept disconnecting

because at that time I thought, well,

using a hotspot from my, my phone should

be super reliable.

Turns out it wasn't.

And then I thought, wait, I can get

multiple connections on my laptop using

Speedify.

And after using that, it hasn't really had

the same problem.

But then all my SIMs expired.

Before I got to test it out properly.

So it's kind of frustrating, and that

makes the LiveU thing kind of obsolete,

because why would I need the LiveU to bond

my connections when I can do it on my

laptop?

And I didn't, didn't do any IRLs recently

either, so the LiveU kind of sucks because

you have to use the GoPro to, to stream

from, and it has to be connected using

cables.

So you've got these cables coming out your

backpack.

So I wasted my money getting the LiveU.

I could have just streamed off my phone

using Speedify.

Bit annoying.

What's my girlfriend doing today?

She's at work doing her second job as

well, so she's coming home late,

hopefully.

How does this girlfriend compare to

Chihiro and Mila?

She's way more emotional and affectionate

than Chihiro or Mila was.

Way more emotionally immature, I guess, as

well.

Chihiro was much more mature and

cool-headed, apart from when I said stuff

like she had a small bum and then she

would just freak out and then start

hitting me, which is kind of immature if

you think about it.

But apart from those times, Chihiro was

pretty normal, I guess you would say.

Mila was just like an annoying child all

the time.

It's like babysitting a 12-year-old kid.

And the sex never really got amazingly

good with Mila either.

The only time the sex was really good with

Mila was when she nearly dumped me, but I

managed to persuade her not to, and then

we had really good makeup sex.

That was the only time it got really

emotional.

Which I guess kind of proves the point

there wasn't a very strong emotional

connection between me and Mila,

whereas I feel like there's a strong

connection coming from my girlfriend,

which makes the sex way hotter.

Sex feels way better when there's this

sense of impending doom coming for the

relationship.

Like, you can sense that the relationship

doesn't have much time left because of

visa constraints and stuff like that.

It makes the sex way more desperate

feeling.

It's like, oh, we've only got this

specified amount of time left that we're

together, so we've got to make use of it.

But when you're married, it feels like,

oh, we're stuck together forever.

There's no time constraints apart from the

fact that one of us could die, but that's

very unknown and vague.

When you've got a visa time limit, you

know exactly when the visa is valid up

until.

You said you were in love with Mila, not

your girlfriend though.

Yeah, but I didn't feel the same thing

coming from Mila.

I didn't feel like Mila was really into

me.

I felt like Mila kind of liked me,

probably just found me a bit attractive.

Physically but didn't like me in other

aspects.

Didn't like my YouTube stuff or my

livestreaming stuff either.

She was really against how negative I was

during livestreams.

And I tried to explain to her, saying that

livestreaming is just my way of venting my

frustrations and letting some steam off.

So obviously it's going to be kind of

negative because I don't really have

anyone to vent to in real life.

And I tend not to vent to people because I

don't want to annoy them.

How annoying is it when you've got that

one friend who's constantly moaning and

whining all the time, just bringing your

mood down?

So even if I had a friend, I wouldn't vent

to them because I wouldn't want to bum

them out.

So I use YouTube to vent my frustrations

onto.

Which leads people to believe that I'm

really negative as a person and my life

really, really sucks based off what you

hear, which is mostly me whining about my

YouTube dying, my money going down, my

stocks going down, how I'm miserable and

sad.

But it's like an amplified version of how

negative my life really is.

I think I'm kind of over Mila now.

Don't really feel anything.

Don't really even miss her.

It was just like, looking back now in

hindsight, it was just like a dumb little

bit of puppy love, I guess.

I can't believe I got so emotional over it

and cried like a baby.

I think it toughened me up a lot.

That experience really toughened me up

emotionally.

It's like when you cut yourself, the skin

heals back thicker, doesn't it?

I think it does.

Isn't that what scar tissue is?

But I think every time you feel emotional

heartbreak, it makes you stronger because

you kind of just accept, well, this is

life.

Yeah, it sucks, but people come and go.

You can't really cling on to any one

person and think they're gonna stick

around for the rest of your life.

People die and stuff, don't they?

So it's kind of stupid to think— you're

better off just resetting your mindset to

expecting people not to be around forever.

And that is just the natural way.

I, I felt, you know, as a kid, I always

thought my parents are going to be around

forever, my sister's going to be around

forever.

But then people die, they move on, they

move to different countries because they

chased— they chase jobs and love

interests.

Nothing changed, nothing stays the same.

Took me a long time to accept and realize

that the only constant is yourself.

So just make friends with yourself, enjoy

your own company, and fuck everyone else

because they're going to be gone sooner or

later.

There's no point investing emotionally in

anyone because they're gonna die or

they're gonna leave you or they're gonna

change their mind and then move on

somewhere else.

So screw everyone else, I'm number one,

fuck you.

Let's go on with the game.

Am I cheating with Pia?

No, I haven't really talked to Pia a lot

recently.

Kind of stopped— we stopped doing the

Fortnite and Sea of Thieves streams

because I got addicted to Cyberpunk.

But when I'm done with Cyberpunk, I might

ask Pia if she wants to do more gaming.

It'd be fun if Cyberpunk was co-op.

That would be interesting, wouldn't it?

Oh, what was I doing here?

Oh, barbecue.

So what else do you want to talk about?

Anything else before I delve into the

game?

The most mature thing I've heard Daniel

say.

Really?

I didn't think this was how life was

supposed to be.

I thought it'd be like Friends, you know,

where everyone's always here all the time.

I didn't know everyone would just like one

by one abandon me.

Including my YouTube audience.

It was a bitter pill to swallow.

Didn't you ever think when you were a kid

that your parents would be around forever

and you would never have a life where your

parents weren't around?

I just always thought they'd be around

forever.

It was weird.

It was a massive shock when my dad died.

Do I like Thailand so far?

Yeah, I like it.

I used— when I first got here, I thought

maybe it's kind of dangerous, should avoid

the little side alleys and streets,

there's organ harvesting going on.

But now I've, I've kind of gotten used to

it.

We went to a festival nearby, like a

matsuri, a little local neighborhood

matsuri where they put these floating

candles into the water and they set up all

these food stalls.

And we walked down some quieter streets

and it actually just felt like walking

around in Japan, but a lot busier.

For some reason, the roads are really

congested with a lot of traffic almost all

the time, whereas in Japan you can walk

down residential areas and it's just like

quiet streets, barely see any cars if you

avoid the main roads, and you can have a

nice evening walk in Japan.

But in Thailand, the roads are just full

of traffic no matter what the hour is.

It's like Thai people don't go home after

they finish work.

They finish work and then they go out

because it's the evening, it's nice and

cool.

And they don't go home to their family and

make dinner and watch TV.

It's like they, they go out and eat.

They eat out all the time.

I don't think family cooking is like a big

thing in Thai culture because eating out

is so cheap.

People just eat out all the time.

But it's nice going for an evening walk

because it's, it's not cold and it's not

really hot.

It feels quite comfortable actually.

It's just going out during the day,

during the middle of the day, is really

horrible.

When we went to Pattaya, I just felt so

hot and miserable, and we're trying to

see, go around and visit different places

like parks and stuff they had there, but

it was so damn hot.

I just felt terrible.

They give you, they give you umbrellas,

which when you go into places to shield

you from the sun, and you really need to

hold an umbrella because the sun just

cooks you and you feel like you have no

energy, and it feels like gravity is 10

times heavier than it actually is.

So bad.

Do I still play Minecraft?

No, it's kind of boring now.

Haven't played Minecraft since 2019 when I

was building my childhood home.

Did she find out your YouTube channel?

Don't think so.

She keeps asking me stuff like,

what's your plan for us?

What are we going to do when your visa

expires?

Where are you going to go?

Are you going back to UK?

When are you coming back?

She's asking me a lot about the future.

She asked me about pregnancy too.

She said she's worried because we're not

using protection.

Am I ready to have a family?

I said maybe.

She said she's ready, so she doesn't mind

if she gets pregnant.

But I got a bit drunk yesterday after

having one beer because she cooked pork

belly and rice and vegetables, and you

have to have a beer with pork belly.

It's a crime not to eat that without a

beer.

So I got a bit drunk just from one beer.

Don't knock her up.

But it feels so good.

How can you finish a session without

nutting inside?

The idea of not nutting inside is just so

alien to me.

I think if I pulled it out, I wouldn't

even be able to nut.

But she's not pregnant.

We've been doing it for like a month.

So after a month of nutting inside and

she's not pregnant, I'm pretty safe.

I'm pretty— I think it's pretty safe to

say that I'm infertile and I can't have

kids because there's no way.

I mean, I nutted inside Mida for like 6

months.

She never got pregnant either.

And you guys keep saying, what if she's

secretly on the pill?

Okay, so all my girlfriends were secretly

on the pill?

Unlikely.

Well, look at these Canister things.

They will move.

She said she doesn't want to become a

single mother.

I said don't worry, I don't think my sperm

works.

You're really ready to have a kid?

I don't know.

I don't think anyone's really ready for

anything, are they?

I mean, I wasn't ready to become rich on

the stock market before losing all.

I wasn't ready to blow up on YouTube

because I handled my YouTube fame, my 15

minutes of fame, so badly.

I mean, I did everything you shouldn't do

as a YouTuber, like attacking your

viewers, lying to your viewers, fucking

your viewers, cheating on your wife and

then bragging about it to your viewers.

I literally did everything you shouldn't

do as a creator.

To avoid cancellation.

I was not ready for that.

Who is actually ever ready to have kids?

I mean, who plans their whole life saying,

by age 32, I'm going to be ready to have

kids?

I think if it actually happened and it was

forced upon me, like my girlfriend comes

home and says, Daniel, I'm pregnant,

I think it could be interesting having a

kid.

I can imagine the wholesome, warm feeling

of having a family.

Because I did experience it a little bit

when I dated that single mother

girlfriend, when we all held hands and

walked together with the kid in the

middle.

It was cute.

I think it would be way cuter if it was

actually my child,

but I don't know how I'd handle it.

If I was financially stable, then it would

be fine, wouldn't it?

It's just I'm not very financially stable.

I'm kind of just gambling with the YouTube

algorithm to hopefully get a video into

the algorithm because I just don't have a

big enough

stable audience to be able to live off

without some virals here and there.

And obviously I'm gonna want to make

videos about having a kid, and I don't

know if she would allow me to do that.

Imagine she never finds out about my

YouTube channel even though we have a kid

together.

I wouldn't film— I don't know, maybe I'd

film the kid and then pixelate the kid's

face.

But the kid's face is going to change

anyway, so what is the point hiding the

kid's face?

All babies look the same anyway.

So maybe I'll pretend I'm filming the kid

to send to my mum and then put it onto

YouTube.

And then people can be like, oh, Daniel's

making money profiting off his kid.

Yeah, but so are like thousands of other

YouTubers.

I mean, Casey Neistat did it, Alfie Deyes,

Zoella, that black girl Kemushi-chan in

Japan.

What about Mikaela making all these

updates about her miscarriage and stuff?

They're all doing it too.

Why can't I?

Why is it bad when I do it?

I think I'd be a good dad because I

understand psychology.

I wouldn't spoil the kid, and then I'll

try to get the kid to understand the value

of money, and I'll try and make the kid

earn the money instead of just giving him

money.

I don't even have any money to give anyway

because I make like $10 every Twitch

stream.

It's barely enough to cover the cost of

the game.

So hopefully my girlfriend starts making

better money.

I think my girlfriend does make good

money.

It's just she has a lot of debts right

now.

She said I came at a bad time.

She said I came during a time where she

has a lot of payments to make, like bank

payments for the house, payments for this

and that.

She explained to me before, but I forgot

what she said.

I think she has to make—

I forgot now, but she has to make a lot of

payments for the house because she's still

paying off the bank for the house.

But she wants to sell the house.

When she sold the house, then she'll be a

lot more financially free.

I gotta pay her for petrol as well, so I

need to take out some cash.

You'd be a better dad than your dad.

I don't know.

I don't know if I could say my dad was a

good dad.

He was a loving and caring dad, but he was

too— he was too caring and too protective.

And he didn't really—

I don't know,

he kind of cocooned me in this safe bubble

and did everything for me without trying

to encourage me to do things by myself,

which I don't think is a healthy way to

bring up a kid.

It makes them very dependent on the

parent.

I remember stuff like seeing my best

friend Ricky how his mum would get him to

pay for the petrol going outside and, and,

you know, doing stuff in the real world

instead of doing it for them.

But my dad was very helpful.

Like, if you had a problem with your

homework or your computer went wrong and

you needed help, he would drop everything

to come and help you.

I remember I used to have a lot of

problems with my computer crashing and

getting viruses, and then he would always

drop everything to come and fix my

computer.

I remember I had this folder of nudes of

Sayaka, my first Japanese girlfriend, and

my computer went wrong.

I couldn't fix it, so he came and fixed

it, and he was looking through all my

folders and files, and I was like, don't

look in that folder.

He nearly clicked on it.

It was full of pictures of Sayaka.

I think I was 18.

I don't know why I could never fix my

computer by myself.

I don't have any problems now.

I think computers are a lot better these

days compared to back then.

Maybe downloading random stuff off

LimeWire all the time didn't help.

And maybe— I remember one time

I was really angry.

My computer crashed.

Froze, so I just held the power button to

force kill it, and then I just kept

pressing it over and over again because I

was really annoyed, and it just completely

messed up the whole system.

It'd be so funny if you open that file.

I think it would just be like, oh, and

then he would quickly close it.

It's understandable.

Young, young guy who's 18 interested in

naked women, it's completely normal.

At least it wasn't like anime hentai porn.

It's better to rent the house.

Yeah, I said why don't you just rent it

out and make rental income, but I don't

think it would make sense because I don't

think she would make more money than the

money she's having to pay pay back to the

bank.

Maybe, I don't know, it would be a lot of

work, wouldn't it?

She would have to do her 2 jobs plus

managing her property.

Maybe I could do it.

No, I couldn't, so I don't know how to

speak Thai.

Put it on Airbnb.

Empty house in the middle of nowhere

with rubbish access.

There's like rubbish access to public

transport.

There's no train stations nearby.

You basically need a car to live there.

I don't know why my mum spent nearly

£50,000 on that garden cabin.

She said she was going to rent it out, but

then she never did.

I knew she wouldn't rent it out.

She doesn't know how to rent out a

property and set up like a profile on a

property rental thing.

She would have to pay someone to manage it

for her.

Or maybe my sister could do it.

She said she doesn't want anyone there

because it'll get messed up.

Then what was the point of getting it in

the first place?

It's so silly.

I think you can see where I get my money

management skills from.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

My dad was good with money because he was

very safe.

You know, he stayed away from gambling, he

stayed away from

investing in stock market stuff.

He was very careful with his money, never

did anything risky,

did sensible things like investing it into

property and then using his money to

improve the property instead of wasting

his money on stocks or lottery tickets.

He would put his money into stuff like

concrete, kitchen tiles, material, paint

to make the house better, to make it worth

more.

Which is very smart, isn't it?

And then you have a house to live in.

What do you do when you've got stocks that

are down 60%?

You can't live in a stock, can you?

You can't do anything with a stock.

It just loses value and then it's

worthless.

It's like it's not even a piece of paper

because it's all digital now.

I tried investing in equipment for my live

streams like the live view, but then that

just backfired as well.

I thought I'd be doing IRL every day, but

IRL is such

a hassle to set up and do, and then walk

around outside for like 5 hours straight

is It's hard work.

Plus you gotta buy drinks and then buy

food because you get hungry from all the

walking.

I need a drink.

I definitely drink more

when I'm streaming because I have to talk.

And when you talk a lot, a lot of saliva

forms.

You gotta swallow it.

What did my dad do for work?

He was an engineer.

He was a— what was his official work?

Title.

I think it was lead technical— no,

technical manager,

lead technical manager, something like

that.

And he had to design machine— entire

refrigerating machines he had to design

from the ground up for to be custom

installed into these big ships.

Sometimes he had Navy ships that he had to

go and work on.

So he had to go overseas a lot.

I remember as a kid, a lot of times my dad

would go overseas for work and then not

come back for like 2 weeks or a week

because he was in places like Malaysia,

Bahrain, the Gulf.

I think he went to South Korea a few

times, just wherever there was British

Navy ships that had to have work done on

them.

It's kind of funny to think the British

Navy relied on some tiny company my dad

worked at.

To, to manage a pretty important piece of

machinery.

So these ships would be operating in, in

warm water,

so I think they needed machinery to, to

cool the water that was coming into the

ship.

I don't really understand, but he had to

design these machines that would

refrigerate the water,

and then he had to design it and and then

build it in the workshop.

And then, I don't know, it's so

complicated.

I never really showed any interest in his

work, so I don't really understand.

I worked at his company for a few months,

so I saw the workshop, I saw the stuff

that would come in, and I saw him put it

together.

And I saw him doing the 3D modeling to

model the components, and I saw him doing

the coding.

He has to do the coding as well.

Because there was like a touchscreen panel

to operate the machine.

He had to do all the coding for that.

So it's a pretty complex job,

and it seemed like he was doing most of it

by himself, just had some people in the

office ordering stuff.

So he would come up with the build plan,

like the blueprints, and he would need 50

nut things or widgemydos, I don't know.

And then he'd have to ask the guy in the

office to order them, and then they would

come,

and then put it all together, make sure it

works, and then send it off.

And then sometimes there'd be problems

with it whilst it's out in the field, so

he'd have to fly over to where the ship is

and then do fixes.

Oh, he had to make these massive

instruction manuals as well, which I had

to do as well when I was working there.

I had to photocopy hundreds of pages and

then put them into this, this binder, make

sure the pages are in order.

The money was okay in British standards.

In American standards, you probably think

it's chump change, because after he died,

we looked through all his paychecks and

stuff like that.

Said before tax, he made like $42,000

£46,000 a year, but then after tax it was

only about £32,000, which is like $50,000

or $40,000, which I think is okay.

It's not like huge money.

I think managers in the company would make

probably $60,000 or near $70,000, and then

IT tech people these days probably make

near $80,000.

In pounds, I think.

So it doesn't seem like a lot of money

considering it was quite a hard job.

So I don't know if he was getting ripped

off with the amount of money he was

making.

Do you think your dad was using escort

services?

I don't know.

I think he would have been too tired from

the work to be thinking about that.

And he didn't really seem to be like

someone who's obsessed with women.

He just didn't seem that type.

But isn't it usually those types who don't

seem like it who are those types?

People didn't think I was like a massive

sex addict either because I don't seem the

type.

He met my mum because Victoria's mum was

friends with my mum, and then she

introduced her to my dad because my dad's

friends with Victoria's dad.

My dad and Victoria's dad worked in the

same company.

It was called J.E.

Halls or something.

It was some engineering company.

But they had problems.

They had to make a load of people

redundant, so they made my dad redundant,

and he used his redundancy pay to finance

buying the house from my, from my uncles

and refurbing it whilst he looked for a

new job.

It's kind of interesting when you think

about the history of my family.

And now they're all dead and gone, so what

does it even matter?

And I don't even get to live at the house

because I'm in Thailand.

Where are all these people now?

Where's my grandparents?

Where's my granddad?

Where's Victoria?

All gone, aren't they?

They don't even care about me.

They're living their own lives, or they're

dead.

So basically, the moral of the story is

Everyone in life either dies or just moves

on with their own life, and then they

don't give a shit about you anymore.

Do you remember when you were a kid and

then there were all these people around

you, like teachers

and uncles and aunties and parents and

kids of the adults around you?

Where are they all now?

They all fucked off, didn't they?

Idiots.

Fuck them too.

I have literally no one in my life now

apart from my Thai girlfriend.

Well, my exes— Jahira gone, Mila gone,

Casey, Hong Kong guy gone, 100K subs gone.

Everyone fucking gone.

It just makes you feel like, oh, it was

all meaningless, wasn't it?

What was the point of it all?

There was no point.

Just feels like life was all meaningless.

Oh crap, when you pick up a flaming body

it kills you.

I forgot that.

Did the same thing yesterday.

Suicide by lifting a burning body.

I'm so triggered that

everyone eventually just abandons you.

It pisses me off so much.

I don't know why.

It's like all my experiences at the guest

house, all those people I tried so hard to

impress with my Korean skills, my Japanese

skills.

If at the time it felt like the opinions

of these people around me matters so much.

But then time passes and not a single one

of those people has any kind of influence

or existence in my life now.

Where are they now?

All gone.

Waste of time caring about what they

thought.

Now I just don't care at all what,

what kind of impression I leave on people,

because I'm not gonna see them again.

I know that from life experience.

Experience.

Just makes you feel like everything in

life is pointless.

But that's just the way it has to be.

Everyone moves on.

It's just I was so invested in that

guesthouse emotionally.

But then everyone leaves one by one, and

then new people come, and then it's not

the same anymore.

I remember new people coming to the

guesthouse And then I'd be like, oh, you

should have seen what it was like years

ago or a few months ago.

It was so much more fun.

I felt like that old-timer explaining to

the new kid how things used to be.

Maybe I'll go back to the same guesthouse

when I go back to Japan next year.

Do you think I should go back to the same

JNF guesthouse in Osaka where I met James.

I wonder if it's the same manager.

It can't be the same manager.

No way.

The people who work those manager jobs at

guesthouses only stay there for like a few

years.

It's been 5 years since that last dickhead

manager

who I really hated.

There's no way he's still there.

You remember the one who warned me about

livestreaming inside of the guesthouse?

That was so embarrassing.

He took me over to the table in the living

room and then said, Dan, can we have a

chat?

You know, you know what they say in

Japanese?

I think he explained it to me in Japanese.

I forgot now if he spoke in English or

not.

Japanese people have this very

serious-sounding tone when they want to

talk to you, and it's annoying.

I can't really do it, but when you hear

it, you know it.

And he said, I've been getting complaints

you've been live streaming in the guest

house, and if you keep doing it, you'll

have to leave.

And then he, he tried— he got me to agree

to stop doing it.

And for some reason I asked him, but is it

okay if I live stream outside?

I don't know why I asked him that.

For some reason it entered my mind.

That I needed to ask him for permission to

livestream outside.

He was like, yeah, you can livestream

outside, but just not in the building.

I thought he was kicking me out of the

guest house for something else, like

jerking off on some girl's shoes or

stealing packages from the entrance bit.

Are you gonna leave your girlfriend if you

go back to Japan?

I don't know, maybe nothing happens in

Japan, I get bored and I go back to Thai

girlfriend.

Oh, my girlfriend messaged me, hold on.

She said good morning.

Good morning, lover.

No, I put a love heart.

How are you?

Can you imagine calling your girlfriend

lover?

Good morning, lover.

Am I coming to Tokyo?

I can't decide which part of Japan to go

to.

My mom warned me not to go to Osaka.

She said leave Chihiro alone.

But I like Osaka.

It has the best

Tobitsushinchi Street, my favorite.

And it's got cheaper prices than Tokyo.

It's got more of a kind of lively,

cozier feeling than Tokyo does.

Tokyo is very cold, you know, like

machines are running the place and

designed a build— designed a city.

That's what a city would look like if

machines designed it.

It's just like very cold and Full of these

very scary-looking— not scary, but

boring-looking glass and steel concrete

skyscrapers.

I can't find the, you know, the triangle

shape on the Samsung keyboard.

To make the happy eye emoji.

Where is it?

Oh, there it is.

I found it.

It's next to the percentage— percentage

sign.

Certain areas of Tokyo are very dull, like

Ginza and Shinjuku, where the financial

center is.

But then you've got Shibuya and places

like

You know the place where the streamers go?

They call it Content Corner for some

reason.

I prefer Osaka.

It has a more lively vibe to it.

Places like Tennoji, Namba, that bridge

bit in Osaka is very lively as well.

It's got a good vibe.

What's that sound?

I can't tell if it's a vacuum cleaner

outside or if it's my laptop fan.

Come hang out with me in Tokyo.

Are you a man?

Your name says Mark in it.

Maybe if I feel really bored.

I might think about hanging out with some

men.

I haven't hung out with any men in

Thailand.

Actually, no one's messaged me to hang

out.

I think I got one or two when I first

arrived from guys.

I got one message on Instagram saying he

lives in Bangkok and he's a guy.

He asked me if I wanted to hang out.

I never replied.

I went to Pattaya and there were white

people everywhere.

I swear there's more white people walking

around on the streets of Pattaya than

there were actual Thai people, but they

all look the same.

The type of white man you find in

Thailand, there's like a very specific