I'm on PornHub!

Hey, it's me again, your friendly

neighborhood Daniel. That was just so

stupid. So, um, a few videos ago I got

quite a lot of comments saying that I

should give ChatterBait a try. And since

I'm unemployed now, I need to find other

ways of making money. So I thought, hey,

that sounds interesting. I have to admit,

I didn't actually know what ChatterBait

was at the time. I thought it was some

kind of website where you can talk to

people. Kind of like YouTube, but

livestreaming. So I checked out Chaturbate

and it was very different to how I

imagined it. People are very open on that

site, a lot more open than I had imagined.

A lot of people consider me to be open and

honest, but I've never actually ejaculated

in front of you all. Not yet anyway. So if

you didn't know what Chaturbate was,

which I'm pretty sure most of you do know

what it is, it's basically a website where

you get a webcam and you masturbate in

front of complete strangers. A livestream,

and I thought to myself, this is kind of

strange. And I watched a few of them, and

half of them were just sitting around

naked doing nothing, and then the other

half were furiously jerking off. And most

of them weren't even very attractive.

There weren't many Asian girls. There were

a few, but they were just mostly Thai

girls, which I don't really care much for.

There were also a lot of guys who were

doing it as well, like really fat ugly

guys jerking off in front of the camera,

and they actually had quite a few

watchers, which was Kind of surprising and

shocking at the same time. Honestly

speaking, the idea of getting paid to

masturbate sounded kind of intriguing to

me. Hey, I do it every day anyway, might

as well get paid for doing it. If I could

get paid for every time that I

masturbated, I would be freaking rich

right now. So I decided to make a profile

on Chaturbate, but then I remembered that

my internet here is really slow and

there's no way I could do livestreaming.

It wouldn't even be a livestream, it would

be like a slideshow. So I had to give up

on my ideas of becoming famous on

Chaturbate. Then I remembered Pornhub. I

didn't know this until recently, But you

can actually make your own channel on

Pornhub and upload videos just like

YouTube. You just make a profile and then

you can start uploading videos and people

watch it. And you can actually make money

from these videos on Pornhub if you become

a verified Pornhub video uploader, which I

did. All you have to do

is take a photo of yourself holding a

piece of paper or a sign that says your—

that has your channel name written on it,

and they make you a verified content

creator. And then you can start actually

making money from the ads that are placed

on your videos. It's just like YouTube.

So if you want to find my channel on

Pornhub, just search for HIMR on members,

and it's pretty easy to find my channel.

You can see my face as the profile

picture. I don't have any videos up yet.

I'm not quite sure what kind of videos I

want to put up. Maybe you can give me some

recommendations. I'm not ready to put up

like sexually explicit videos because

that's just kind of weird. I do have those

kind of videos, but I don't share them

with random strangers on the internet. I

only show them to people I'm romantically

involved with. I do have loads of really

sexually perverted animations and drawings

that I want to put onto that channel

because I can't put them onto YouTube

because I might get banned. I tried it

before on my old channel. I used to upload

these really sexually perverted animations

of this giant cartoon woman being fucked

by tiny men with giant penises, and that

channel got terminated, which is really

annoying because I spent a lot of time and

effort into making those animations, and

they used to get thousands and thousands

of views, like tens of thousands of views.

They wouldn't get any AdSense money

because, you know, it's, it's really

sexual stuff. And then all these kids

started moaning. They started saying, you

can't put those kind of videos on YouTube,

this isn't a porn website, I'm only 9

years old, I'm not allowed to see that

kind of stuff, you've scarred me for life.

And then they started reporting and

flagging the videos, and I got a load of

community strikes, and then the channel

got terminated, and I lost all the videos

on that channel because I couldn't gain

access to the videos library, and it was

so frustrating because I had loads of

videos on there from when I was like 18

years old when I went to London with the

Japanese homestay students, and I really

want those videos back. I bet they still

exist. They must exist still on the

YouTube servers, just that I can't— I

don't have access to them. So I have loads

of drawings I've done recently of cartoon

people having sex, and I want to turn

those drawings into videos, into

time-lapse drawing videos, and I want to

put them somewhere so people can see them,

and I think that Pornhub might be a good

place to put them. There won't be

any sex videos because I don't have anyone

to have sex with currently, but you never

know, maybe in the future I'll meet

someone who's up for making sex videos,

so you might see them on the channel. If

you'd like to apply for the position,

then send me a private message. You need

to be over 18, you need to look Asian or

slightly Asian, You also need to get

tested because I don't really want to get

chlamydia again. That wasn't fun. Oh, and

you need to be a girl. That's the most

important part. Sorry, guys. And ad

revenue profits will be split 60/40. I get

60%, you get 40% because I deserve more

money because I'm a guy. That's how it

works in the real world, isn't it?

Na na na na na na. Na na na na na na. Na

na na na na na na. Na na na

na, na na na na,

na na na na, na na na na na na na

na na. One bacon for me,

and another bacon for me.

Oh no, this is gonna be tricky.

Um,

oh, oh shit.