I had an Affair with a Married Japanese Woman

Hi, this is Daniel here, and I want to

tell you about the time I had an affair

with this Japanese married woman about 7

years ago. I was very young and stupid

when this happened, so please don't judge

me too harshly. Obviously now I would

never do something like that again. So it

all began in 2012, a year before the

actual events. 2012, I had recently just

come back from Japan after doing the

working holiday experience, and I was

still really motivated to live in Japan.

My goal was to go back to school and

do an A-level course, which is what you

need to do to get into university, and I

wanted to get a degree and then become an

English teacher and live in Japan on a

work visa. I know, I can't believe I'm

saying these words, but 22-year-old Daniel

was still very optimistic and ambitious.

His dreams hadn't been completely crushed

and devastated just yet. So I signed

up for this computer science course in a

college, and I lasted about 4 weeks until

I realized that I had absolutely no

interest in computer science, and it was

really, really boring. So I quit the

college, and I thought to myself, well, I

guess this dream of getting a degree,

which would just take far too long— it

would take me at least 4 or 5 years— this

dream that I had of getting a degree and

working in Japan, living there long term,

I kind of gave up on that dream after I

quit the college, and I thought to myself,

well, if I can't get a degree and I can't

get a visa to live in Japan, I can always

just keep going back there as a tourist

and mess around with Japanese women. And

that's what I did for the next 7 years. I

used to be quite active on this website

called mixi.co.jp, which was one of the

most popular social networking websites in

Japan at the time. It was kind of the

equivalent of Facebook, and I felt very

privileged to be able to have an account

on Mixi because it was kind of difficult.

You needed to have a Japanese phone number

to be able to even register and make an

account. So as you can imagine, as a

foreigner, I didn't have a Japanese phone

number. Thankfully, I had this friend,

female Japanese friend, who was very

generous and made an account for me using

one of her second mobile, mobile phone

numbers. And on Mixi, I used to upload my

artwork. I used to be very into drawing at

the time and digital art. And drawing

anime characters, and I used to upload

them onto my profile. And one day I

started to get a lot of comments from this

random Japanese woman. She would say very

nice things about my artwork. She said

they were really good, and we started

chatting. She sent me a photo of herself

one day, and she was standing next to a

man. I asked her, who's that man? And she

said it was her husband. And I just felt

really disappointed because I thought,

well, maybe This woman's interested in me.

Maybe there would be something between us.

As soon as I found out she had a husband,

my dreams were crushed again. I kind of

lost interest because at the time I was,

you know, a good boy, and obviously I

wasn't interested in getting involved with

a married woman. So after saving up enough

money, I finally went back to Japan in

2013, around January or February.

And I decided to stay in a very small

guesthouse this time. Before, I used to

stay in these massive guesthouses which

had around 100 people living in them.

There were loads of people around all the

time. It's really easy to make friends.

But this time I thought, what if I stayed

in a much smaller guesthouse? Maybe there

would be a tighter-knit family community

feeling and I'd be able to make closer

friends. So I went to this guesthouse and

there were only about 10 people and it was

a complete disaster. Really terrible

atmosphere at the guest house. Most of the

people there were Chinese people, and

they, they just went to work and then they

came home and they went straight to their

rooms, and they didn't really talk to

anyone. They didn't talk to each other,

and they just kept themselves to

themselves. There were about 4 or 5 other

Japanese people. There was this old guy

and then this fat girl, and then there was

actually a quite, quite attractive looking

cute young girl as well who I kind of

became friends with, and we would sit

together and have meals. I did fancy her

quite a lot, and I was having a really

miserable time at that guesthouse, and I

thought to myself, well, the only reason

that I haven't left yet is because of this

girl. I quite enjoy her. So I plucked up

the courage to send her a cheeky message

saying that I liked her and I wanted her

to be my girlfriend. She replied and

rejected me, saying that we should just be

friends. And then the next day I decided

to move out of the guesthouse because

there was no reason to stay there anymore.

I moved back into the really big

guesthouse that I stayed in before, and

everything was fine. I started messaging

that Japanese woman that I used to chat to

on Mixi as well. I told her how miserable

and lonely I was, and she actually invited

me out to have dinner with her husband. I

thought, isn't that kind of weird? Well,

I didn't have anything better to do, and I

didn't really have any plans, so I

thought, why not? Maybe it'll be

interesting. So I went to dinner and I met

up with them at this train station and

they took me to yakiniku, Japanese

barbecue. And as you can imagine, it was

really awkward. I didn't even know these 2

people. Well, I kind of knew the woman,

but I didn't know her husband at all. We

made small talk and they asked me

questions like, why are you in Japan? Why

do you like Japan? What do you think of

Japan? What are your plans? Blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah. It was pretty boring.

Nothing eventful happened, just typical

dinner conversation. After we finished

eating, her husband paid for the entire

meal. When I took out my wallet and I was

taking money out, he said, no, no, no,

don't worry, it's okay. You didn't really

eat much anyway. And then he paid for the

meal, which was really nice of him. And I

went back to the guesthouse, went to bed,

and I thought that was the last time I

would ever see them. The next day, I

started getting messages from the Japanese

woman again. She said she had a really

nice time and she would like to meet up

with me for a second time, but this time

without her husband. I thought this was a

little bit strange, but my heart started

to beat very fast and I got this really

exciting feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I think we all know what this means, was

what I was thinking to myself. Does she

fancy me? I mean, why else would she want

to see me again, but this time just the

two of us? So I said yes, and I picked out

my best outfit, did my hair. At the time,

I used to spend a lot of time on my hair.

I used to straighten it,

use a hair dryer, use hair products. I

used to be really into making my hair look

like an anime character. So I did my hair

all nice so I looked presentable for our

date. I thought Yeah, I did think it was

kind of wrong to be going out on a date

with a married woman, especially after her

husband was so kind and generous. Well, I

was very lonely and desperate, and I would

have said yes to anyone who invited me out

on a date. So I met up with her again,

and we walked around Shinjuku. We didn't

really do much. Actually, I don't remember

very well what we did. I think we just

walked around. It was really, really

awkward. And then we went for lunch,

and I thought after lunch we would just

say goodbye. After walking around for a

few hours, she just randomly asked me if I

wanted to go to karaoke, and I said yes.

And I think we can all imagine what

happened at the karaoke. I'm not going to

tell you because then the bloody video

would get demonetized. And when we were at

the karaoke, I asked her if she wanted to

go to a love hotel. And she said yes, and

I think we can all imagine what happened

at the love hotel. Well, let's just say

that she broke her marriage vows that day.

Now let me try and explain to you,

describe to you what she physically looks

like, because you might be thinking,

whoa, lucky boy Daniel got a Japanese

hottie. No, I wish that were the case,

but unfortunately she was not exactly eye

candy. She was pretty chubby. I wouldn't

say overweight or fat. Maybe in Japanese

standards you could say fat, but American

standards you would probably say normal.

She also had a lot of scars on her body,

which were the result of something that I

can't talk about on YouTube either. This

is why making videos on YouTube sucks now,

because I can't talk about any bloody

thing. So I'll just spell it out to you:

S-U-I-C-I-D-E.

A-T-T-E-M-P-T. I won't say anything more.

And after that happened, that wasn't the

end of it. Oh no. For the next 3 months,

we would meet up and go to

L-O-V-E-H-O-T-E-Ls almost

every 2 days. And these, these,

let's just call them hotels. I think I can

say the word hotel. Let's just say these

hotels weren't very cheap because we were

staying overnight. Usually you only stay

there for an hour. Or 2. Most people don't

stay in a hotel of that category

overnight, and they were very fancy. I

think they cost at least $100 every night.

And guess who paid for all of them? She

did. She didn't even ask me to pay for a

single hotel. She paid for every single

time we stayed there, which was really

nice, really generous of her. I actually

think it was the money she was getting

from her husband. And it was so nice.

You have to remember, at the time I was

living in this really cheap, horrible

guest house where it was filthy and dirty,

and I was sharing the shared areas

like the kitchen, living room, shower room

with nearly 100 other people. I think you

can imagine how disgusting it was. Plus,

it was winter, which made having a shower

freezing cold, and they would have all the

windows open to ventilate the shower room,

otherwise it would just get all gross.

Let's just say that it wasn't very

luxurious, and being able to go from that

to staying overnight in a very nice hotel

in Shinjuku every 2 days was absolutely

amazing. I had these great,

wonderful steam baths because they had

these massive bathrooms and they had the

fog machine and you know, jacuzzi-style

bathtub with little bubbles that jetted

out. Plus, I got to spend the time with

this woman who was really, really into me.

She was crazy about me. I think she was

actually genuinely in love with me,

otherwise she wouldn't have done all this.

So you might be thinking, Daniel, how come

you managed to stay overnight with this

lady every 2 days without her husband

noticing? And this is the weird thing.

She told her husband that she was going to

be spending all night with Daniel, but she

just said that we were gonna go to bars

and we're gonna go drinking and we're just

hanging out as friends. And apparently he

didn't really mind. According to her, she

said that her husband didn't think that I

was even interested in women. He thought I

was the G-word that ends in a Y.

So my theory was either he was really,

really stupid and actually thought that I

wasn't interested in women, or number 2,

he knew what we were doing and what we

were up to, but he just didn't really

care. Maybe there was no love in the

marriage. Maybe he had his own little side

girl who he spent time with. She said to

me that they had been married for a long

time and there wasn't really much love

between them anymore, and they weren't

really like husband and wife. They were

more like brother and sister who just

shared a house. And she also said they

didn't even sleep together anymore. Oh, I

think I forgot to mention how old she was.

So at the time, I was about 22 and she was

about 33, so she was well over 10 years

older than me. She must be 40 by

now. I think— actually, I think she's

around the same age as my wife. Yeah,

it's strange. For some reason, I keep

attracting women who are nearly 10 years

older than me. Anyway, as you can imagine,

I didn't really get to meet many people at

the guesthouse because I was hardly ever

there. I was spending half the time with

that married woman, and then the other

half I was too busy in my room, um,

preparing sharpening stones. Because back

then I used to sell Japanese sharpening

stones on eBay, and I would just spend all

my time managing my shop and getting

orders and wrapping it and then going to

the post office. Didn't really spend much

time with the people at the guest house.

If I could go back in time and do it all

over again, I think I would because it was

a lot of fun. It was one of the most

exciting adventures that I had in Japan,

and it was all thanks to this website

called mixi.co.jp. Thank you, Mixi,

because without you that experience would

have never happened. After the 3 months

ended, I went back to England, and she

begged me to come back to Japan to see her

again, and I did seriously think about it.

But unfortunately, I had found another

Japanese woman who was younger and more

attractive and didn't have a husband. So I

decided to go back to Japan and see her

instead of the married lady. I never saw

the married lady or spoke to her ever

again. I'm not really sure what she does

now. Hopefully she's still alive.