why i don't care about anyone but myself

I'm getting kind of sick and tired of

constantly being bashed and criticized for

not caring about people, especially by

ex-girlfriends.

That's one of the main reasons why I keep

getting dumped is that apparently I don't

care about people and I'm sick and tired

of having to defend myself and come up

with an argument about how I do care about

people.

So I'm just going to come out and say it,

that I don't really care about anyone but

myself.

The only time I will care about other

people is if it somehow affects me, my

happiness, or my financial status, or my

ability to acquire cereal.

So basically the reason why I'm saying

this is because I don't want to ever get

myself into another situation where a girl

comes into my life and expects me to

unequivocally care about her life and her

life problems, because I'm just not really

going to care.

So don't ever come into my life with

expectations that I'm going to be this

really caring person and get upset when

you realize that I don't really care about

your problems and I don't really care

about your life.

No offense, but your life is probably

extremely uninteresting and not going to

interest me in any way at all unless

you're like a millionaire day trader

traveling the world making YouTube vlogs,

which is kind of my dream in life.

So unless you've achieved those things and

you have something I could learn from or

copy that would benefit me, I just don't

really think I'm going to be very

interested in your personal life and your

personal problems.

And it kind of grinds my gears when

extremely boring people, or people who

have very boring lives and don't really

have any hobbies that interest me, expect

me to be interested in their boring lives

and expect me to ask things like, how was

your day?

How did it go?

Oh, how was that?

Oh, what did you do?

I just don't really care, to be honest.

And if I pretend I'm caring, it's because

I'm trying to make small talk because

maybe there's something that I want to get

out of you.

Now, there are some exceptions to this

rule, and if you meet certain criteria,

then I can care about your existence a

tiny bit.

If it benefits me.

So if you introduced a certain few things

into my life, such as money, cereal, love,

and intimacy, then those are things I want

in life.

Therefore, I would care about you being in

my life if you provide those things.

But if you don't have anything to bring to

the table, you don't offer me anything I

want in life, or you used to offer things,

but now I don't really want those things

anymore, and I don't really value the

ability that you have to provide those

things to me, then I just won't really

care about you anymore, and I wouldn't

really be that bothered.

If you decided to exit my life.

Now, to a certain extent, I can pretend to

care so far as there's things from you

that I want, and then I realize that in

order to get these things out of you that

I want, I need to at least make you feel

like I care.

Because I do understand people want to be

cared about.

And yeah, I can pretend for a certain

amount of time that I do care.

For example, if you are feeling sick or

you got injured, I'll be like, oh no, Are

you okay?

When actually, I mean, there's not really

much I can do if you're not okay.

You need to go to the hospital.

I don't know how to do first aid or fix

your wounds or heal stuff.

So there's not really much I can do apart

from saying, are you okay?

When either you are okay, so that's fine,

don't really need to care about it, or

you're not okay and then you need to go

and get professional help and there's not

really much I can do.

So for example, I remember when I met this

Korean woman in Japan and stupidly I

suggested going on a bike ride.

By the way, To guys, don't ever suggest

going on a bicycle ride with a woman

because for some reason they keep falling

off bicycles.

My mum also fell off her bicycle and she

needed some help to get home.

So anyway, she fell off her bicycle

because she tried to mount a curb at an

angle and then she mounted it and then

fell off.

And then the Korean woman, she was in

quite a lot of pain.

She hit her elbow and I felt very awkward.

I didn't know what to do.

I thought, oh crap, if I don't pretend

that I'm concerned about her, then she's

going to be pissed.

She could still walk, so it's not like I

had to pick her up or she needed to rest

on my shoulder to be able to limp home.

So she was okay to walk, it's just her

elbow was in pain.

There's not really much I can do, so I

helped her— like, I just stood over her to

try to seem like I was trying to be

helpful, but I didn't really do anything.

She picked up the bike on her own and we

walked back home.

She ended up fracturing her elbow and

needed to go to the doctor and get a cast.

So yeah, there's not really much I could

have done.

So I've had a lot of girlfriends in the

past, and I would say the number one

reason why I always get dumped is because

they realize, or they start to feel like I

don't care about them.

Maybe in the beginning they feel like, oh,

I guess he kind of cares.

And then as time progresses, they feel

like I care about them less and less as I

start putting in less and less effort to

show that I care.

In the beginning, yeah, I will put in

maximum effort, but as time goes on, I

will start to lose interest and stop

caring as much and stop showing that I

care as much.

And then they catch on to that and they

get mad.

I think that if someone has a problem in

their life, my main number one concern is

how does that affect me?

Does that have any kind of negative effect

on me personally, my finances, or my

plans?

Do they get interrupted by their life

problems?

And if that happens, I do get kind of mad.

So I don't want my life to be disrupted or

my finances to be disrupted by someone

else's personal problems, even if that

has— even if that's no fault of their own

and it's just like a tragic, unfortunate

accident that happened and they need my

help.

Okay, if I can help, I will help, but I

don't really want to help, to be honest.

And here's a few examples of times when

I've had exes that had life problems that

interfered with my own life and made me

have to do something that I didn't really

want to do.

So my ex-girlfriend, the ex-ex-girlfriend,

the Thai girlfriend, her uncle died and

she had to go and go to like the place

where he died, the village where her

family lives, and her relatives were

gathering to prepare for the funeral.

And this was very far away from Bangkok.

It's about 5 hours drive away in Kang Peng

Phet, which is in the middle of the

country.

And I've been there before and it's really

boring.

It's really dull, dusty.

Old ugly looking little town with no

McDonald's or anything modern.

So she wanted me to come with her to give

her support, and I didn't really want to

go, to be honest, because I just wanted to

stay at home in Bangkok to focus on my

YouTube stuff and my other things.

But then I had to get dragged out all the

way on this 5-hour road trip, get stuck in

this little motel for a few days, for like

5 days, whilst she did funeral management

stuff and helped with her relatives.

I didn't go to this funeral thing.

I didn't go and meet her relatives or

anything.

I just stayed in the hotel the entire

time.

I felt trapped like a prisoner in motel

room trying to make some videos and just

do what I was usually doing.

And I just thought, this is so pointless.

Why am I here?

I'm wasting so much time.

I'm being put in this place where I'm

uncomfortable and not happy just so that

she can have me there as emotional

support.

This is— it was just so annoying and I

just felt so depressed being stuck there.

And you might be thinking that's very

selfish and I guess maybe it is selfish,

but I don't really have any problem in

admitting that.

Yeah, I am selfish.

But if you think of it this way, If I have

problems in life, wouldn't I want my

partner to be concerned about me, help me,

be supportive and all that kind of stuff?

And to be honest, I don't really care if I

get problems in life or have problems in

life.

I, I want to try and fix the problems

myself with my own skill set and my own

knowledge.

If you can do something to help me, like

lend me money, or you have a good idea

that could help me, then sure, I'm all

ears.

But if all you can provide is emotional

support and pretend that you're concerned

when really there's nothing you can do,

then I'm not really interested in that.

And whether you can provide that or not

provide it doesn't really concern me.

To be honest, if I could help it, I'd

rather not have to rely on other people

for help because I, number one, I have an

ego and I have my pride and I like to

think I can sort out my own problems

without relying on people.

And then when they come and say to me that

you don't care about my problems, then I

can say back, well, that— I mean, I don't

really care if you don't care about my

problems, so you shouldn't care if I don't

care either.

And also, if someone does help me with

money, for example, and then we get into

an argument later on down the line, they

then end up using the fact that they

helped me as a way to attack me.

And then it kind of invalidates any kind

of reasons why I'm upset at the person,

because then they'll just say, oh, you

can't be upset at me because I helped you

at that time.

So yeah, in conclusion, I'm just not

really going to genuinely actually care

about anyone's life or their problems or

their dreams and aspirations or struggles

they're going through in life.

I'm just going to be like, oh yeah, I

guess that's cool.

Oh, I guess that sucks.

I'm not really going to try and offer help

because I don't really have the capacity

to actually help anyone.

I don't have money.

I don't have any special skills.

I don't have good bedside table manners.

I honestly can't really do anything for

you to help.

I don't have any great advice in life.

I don't really have any experience of my

own of overcoming stuff like alcoholism

or, I don't know, other addictions.

So I can't really provide you any real

life experience for overcoming addictions,

or I can't— I just, I can't provide you

with anything that can actually help.

And I just think words like, there, there,

it will be better, oh no, are you okay, I

just, I don't really think that actually

helps anything at the end of the day.

And it's just like fake niceties, fake

words to try and make you feel better, and

I'm just not very good at that.

So keep that in mind, have no expectations

that I'm actually going to care, and then

we'll be okay.

I just really don't care.

Stop giving me a hard time about it and

shut up.