LIFE UPDATES - fired again...

Oh,

it's

happening again.

I don't know why.

They keep doing it over and over.

Maybe I'll just leave it.

Maybe it doesn't matter.

Maybe

they've paid for a certain amount and then

unless

they get the amount, then it would keep

coming.

Like, they've paid for 5,000.

So if I just let 5,000 viewers accumulate

and then end it, it would be over quicker.

Because yesterday I let it get to like

2,000 before ending it.

I'll just let this one go for like 10, 20

minutes.

Let's see how high it gets and then end

it.

If your channel gets demonetised, what

would you do?

Will you try to go back to your

ex-girlfriend so you can share rent or

back to your mum?

I have to try and get a job, I guess.

This is what happens when you ban so many

people.

Sounds like you want to get banned.

Yeah, you sound like a troll.

You're banned.

Good job.

How much higher do you think it stops at?

1,000?

I reckon when it stops going up, it means

it's Reached the limit.

Please everyone, please.

I might have to open a support thing.

Chat with creator support.

This is just an AI bot.

Please wait while a support specialist

joins the chat.

It's just an AI.

No reply.

I'm sorry to hear about that.

Wow, thanks.

Uh, yeah, stop saying sorrys.

What should I do?

No, it doesn't count as ad rev.

It, it's not even registering as a view.

I have no idea how it's done.

I don't know how they do it, to be honest.

Because for it to register as a viewer,

they would have to click on the stream and

be watching it, not click it and click

off.

But then why doesn't it?

Surely there's not 2,000 accounts.

You don't have to make an account to watch

a YouTube stream, do you?

Is it an AI?

It seems like an AI.

I just wonder how high it goes before it

stops going up.

It seems like—

wasn't it 3,000 last time?

They're asking for a screenshot of what

you're seeing on your end.

Doesn't seem like a bot anymore.

I didn't know you could send a screenshot.

Seems like it stopped going up.

Oh, it's going down now.

So we had— wasn't it like 600 the first

one and 500 second one?

Maybe they only paid for like 4,000.

It's so stupid that YouTube can't come up

with anything to prevent this from

happening.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

These aren't registering as a view.

It's not going to make any ad rev.

That's not how it works.

Look, they're going down now.

I reckon it's over.

Imagine Sunny joins and she's like, oh my

God, Dan's got 2,000 viewers,

he's famous again.

1949.

I'm not botting.

Someone is botting my stream.

I'm talking to customer support at the

moment.

If I get banned, maybe Sunny will get back

with me.

I'll be like, hey Sunny, so yeah, my

channel got banned, so not doing YouTube

anymore.

Wanna get back together?

That'd be funny.

We played Rainbow Six ages ago.

Yeah, I remember that.

That was crazy that you recognized me in

the game just because of my username was I

Hate Weekends.

They're saying, can you tell me more about

it?

Trolls are paying

for bots to raid my stream to get me in

trouble with YouTube.

I heard I can get demonetized for— but

it's not me doing this.

What can I do?

Yeah, they're obviously doing this to try

and get me in trouble.

Can you show me screenshots that prove

it's a bot?

Uh,

no,

I don't think so.

It's

How can I prove that it's bots?

It wouldn't say—

where, where would the proof be?

It's speculation, but it's pretty obvious.

Look at this face!

Daniel shaking on his boots.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Yeah, thanks for the free money.

Damn, Tom Cruise getting old.

How old is he, like 60?

He still looks pretty good though for

60-something.

Tom Cruise age, 62.

Let's see what they say.

They just said, I understand.

God, I wish I had that job.

Yeah, his face looks a bit— hmm, I don't

really know why.

Like flappy.

I don't know how to describe it.

He obviously dyes his hair now.

It's the droopiness.

Face starts drooping, doesn't it?

That's the saddest thing about getting

older, because I feel like, oh no, I don't

really realize it much in my face.

But then I look at photos of myself 1,000

years— I mean, 10 years ago, and obviously

my face used to be way tighter.

Says, I know how important it is for you

to have this issue sorted out.

No worries, I got you.

I'm more than willing to check this out

for you.

Okay,

will I get in trouble for this even though

I'm not behind it?

I'm talking to customer support, but it

feels like an AI.

I don't know,

can't tell these days.

Oh look, I think they're all gone now.

We're like back to normal viewership.

130-ish.

There's no way you'd get a real person

replying so quickly.

Oh.

Daniel gets $20 dono and get— he goes,

thanks, but he gets 15p in the market and

he goes, holy fucking shit balls.

Yeah.

Yeah, because I use my skill in trading to

make the money.

When I get a dono, I don't really feel

like I earned it.

I feel like it was random.

No, I like to think when I win a trade,

I'm winning because of my skill, not

because of luck.

Definitely AI.

We're excited about your live streaming

efforts.

Your passion for connecting with your

audience is inspiring.

While we can't control viewership, we're

committed to helping you grow your

channel.

Okay,

that's not helpful at all.

Now it's just giving me advice on how to

grow my channel.

YouTube's algorithm recommends content

based on viewer interests.

Wow, really?

Create engaging streams can significantly

impact discovery.

To reach wider audience, consider

promoting your— wow, that's so relevant to

my problem.

Not.

Hey,

so what do I do about my streams getting

raided buy box.

Please advise.

I'm getting nervous now.

Why is it going back up to 140?

Are those real viewers or what?

140 is kind of a lot.

For me these days.

Maybe it's a second round.

There must be another button.

YouTube uses industry-leading techniques

to prevent artificial inflation of metrics

on the platform by spam bots.

So should I ignore it?

Maybe it's like 1,000 viewers, no one's

chatting because I banned them all.

All the banned people.

That's what you get.

I guess we got to take the livestreams

over to OnlyFans.

$10 a month for access to my naked

livestreams.

Should I ask you what should I have for

dinner tonight?

Yeah, someone said— I remember this other

channel said that I'm not a bad YouTuber,

it's just I'm bad at picking topics that

people want to watch.

Which is true.

I only talk about stuff I'm interested in.

I don't care about what the viewers are

interested in, because if I'm not

interested in it, then what's the point?

Said our systems constantly analyze

traffic to your video channels to

determine whether it's valid or invalid,

regardless of where or how the traffic

originated.

And then it says, yes, I should ignore it.

Are you sure I won't be blamed for the

invalid views?

Oh my God, 4,000 now.

For God's sake.

Seriously?

It says yes.

I said, are you sure I won't be blamed?

It said yes, since the system will verify

the data for 24 to 48 hours.

What does that mean?

Well, it says I won't be blamed.

Now it says 8,000.

What does that mean?

Um,

it would delete the fake views.

Well, as long as I don't get in trouble, I

don't really care.

YouTube systems analyze traffic to your

video's channels to determine whether it's

valid or invalid.

Okay.

And if it's determined invalid, will the

channel be punished?

11,000

now.

What?

I said, if it's determined invalid, will

the channel be punished?

Yes, that is correct.

How will it be punished?

11194 viewers.

They definitely just bought more, didn't

they?

It said it's not punished.

It's not to be punished.

However, we verify the data and check if

the channel What?

That doesn't make— it's not to be

punished.

We verify the data and check it so the

channel aligns with our policies.

So I'm not

in trouble.

Imagine thinking there's actually 12,000

people watching this.

16,000.

Imagine I actually had 20,000 viewers and

this is all I do.

I just sit here and I stare into the

camera doing nothing.

Asmongold will be putting on his best

performance.

Daniel Underfair looks so funny.

Look at his face.

He is shitting his pants right now.

20,000 now.

Seems like it lasted

20 minutes, 15 minutes

for the first spike to end.

I wonder if this is going to take 15

minutes too.

Please know that the system will update

for 24 to 48 hours to verify the data is

real.

Okay.

I don't really know what else to ask it.

This is like watching the stock market.

It goes— it's like going up and then it

crashes down.

I feel like I'm watching stocks.

It's tanking.

No, we're still repping 2,100— I mean,

21,000.

Wow, I'm so famous.

Yeah, Ollie, got 20,000 viewers now.

You said you were gonna pay money.

You said you'd bet money on it.

Time to pay up, Ollie.

Where's my money?

That's what you get mocking my 90 viewers.

Now who's mocking who?

Dead channel, my backside.

Is there anything else for now?

Uh, what should I have for dinner?

20K watching.

So stupid.

But you know what, you know, the sad thing

is I've got 113,000 subs.

It should be possible to have 20K viewers.

Has it stopped?

Oh wow, thanks.

And more Luffy and unban me.

I'm a man of my word.

Luffy said he did unban you.

So the bossing started at 7:25.

If it was 15 minutes like the first one,

it should end At 7:40, right?

Which is in 2 minutes.

Who wants to bet in 2 minutes we tank?

Channels with a million subs get 1 to 2K

viewers.

Yeah, my theory is that

it takes a very long time for a channel to

get to a million subs.

By the time it gets to a million subs,

they probably have like 800,000 inactive

subs already.

Unless the channel got a million subs in

like 2 months.

It takes years and years for most channels

to get that many viewers.

By the time they get that many subs,

Most of the subs are not even active

anymore.

That's why the bigger the channel gets,

the more dead it looks.

Look, it's going down.

I think it's going down.

It should start going down in about 2

minutes.

Anyone know why Daniel got fired?

I don't know.

I got banned from the app again.

Said whatever you feel to eat for dinner,

go for it.

Are we still connected?

Uh, are you a bot or should I

Open an inquiry with a

human customer support.

Thanks.

It says you're chatting with a live

person.

Sorry if you feel that way.

Okay,

I understand.

That's all for now.

Thanks for your help.

Do you think it's an AI pretending it's

not an AI?

Look, it's going down.

I told you this person's only paying for

15 minutes.

Look, we're at 20,700.

We're going to tank

because the first one, it started at 7

and then it ended at 7:20.

So like 20 minutes.

This one started at 7:25.

I reckon at 7:45 we're going to be back at

like 100 viewers.

Imagine if you just gave me the money

instead of wasting it on stupid bots.

The AI is pretending to not be AI.

Look, $16,000 now.

I told you, so predictable.

See, this is why I'm a pro day trader,

because I understand how these things

work.

It's just like day trade.

We're tanking.

We're tanking.

The market is doing nothing.

It's going in a straight line.

It's so weird.

It's waiting for tomorrow, isn't it?

Jay Powell speaks.

Jay Powell.

12,000.

Traveling Trader said if Tesla pulls back

to 300, it's a buy to 370.

It's nearly at 370 already.

Where's the pullback?

It's just going straight to 370 without a

pullback.

Look, 7:45, just like clockwork.

20 minutes.

You're that bony, you can do that.

Yeah, I can do this.

Listen.

It's like my chest is made

of

wood.

Well, they said they— what, they check

between 24 and 48 hours if the views have

added or not.

So if I just delete the stream before 24

hours, system will update for 24 to 48

hours to verify.

I just delete the stream

after it's ended, they won't have the

chance to verify it.

Genius.

So I guess no more VODs.

You can watch the old ones.

You're actually liking Kingdom Come now?

Um, I got bored because there was hardly—

there's nothing to kill apart from some

random bandits in the woods.

So I got bored, I started killing all the

villagers, and now I can't progress the

main story because the main story is go to

the wedding using either the blacksmith or

the miller's help.

But the blacks— I accidentally killed the

miller, and then the blacksmith, you can't

kill him, but he's scared of me and he

runs away now.

And the whole village is trying to kill

me.

So every time the patrol guards come after

me, they want like 20,000 groschen or hang

me.

So then I end up trying to fight them and

I can kill them.

But there's like a couple NPCs that are

invincible and cannot be killed, but they

keep attacking me.

So it says optional next to blacksmith and

miller.

So I'm hoping I can get to the wedding.

I actually killed the groom of the

wedding, but then he respawns.

So I think I've broken the game.

So I need to save up the money to pay off

the guards or something.

I don't know.

I got bored and, um, I started stealing,

and then I accidentally murdered a

villager, and they caught me, and then the

guards came after me, and I killed half

the village guards.

Actually, the real reason was there was a

quest where like one village has beef with

another village and they meet on a field

and they have a punch out.

And then after the punch out finishes, you

basically knock out the, the other village

and they're all unconscious on the field

and then you're supposed to walk away.

But I ended up just robbing them all and

then shanking them whilst they're

unconscious.

And then that made my village side scared

of me, they ran off and reported me to the

guards, and then I massacred the guards.

So now everyone hates me.

I want to get to the wedding so I could

advance the story and meet up with Hands—

Hands Capon again.

But my sword skills got really good.

I unlocked the Master Strike and I got the

Knight's Longsword

And I got full chainmail armor.

Yeah, look, exactly 20 minutes and the

bots are gone.

Guess it's expensive buying bots.

Maybe buy the S&P 500 instead of wasting

your money, idiot.

Yeah, the game's fun, it's just that so

much is just running here and running

there.

Is there no fast travel?

Because I end up just running from town to

town and I can't be bothered to get a

horse because the horse keeps getting

stuck.

Those bathhouse wenches though, damn hot.

God, sex in the medieval ages must have

been hot.

Look at their big boobs.

No one was fat.

They probably had nice body odor as well

because of no bathing.

Probably hairy as well.

No condoms as well.

Medieval sex would have been hot.

In the haystacks, doing it in the fields,

doing it with the miller's daughter,

the village wench.

Bend her over good and nice.

It's my dream.

Move to a village, get a job on a farm.

I bang the farm girl in the barns

and she's like, I've never done it with an

Asian before.

Okay, are we done with the botting?

Jesus fucking Christ.

Time to get some new hobbies,

I think.

Yeah, so like I was saying before the

botting thing happened, um, I applied to

some jobs like a Cornish pasty shop, but I

don't really want to drive around

Tavistock delivering.

I want to drive around a little village.

Tavistock is annoying to drive around, so

many old people crossing the roads.

With the little pushing thing, and they're

like walking at one mile per hour.

There's like five crossings down this

road.

I can't get that stupid tune out my mind,

my head.

No, I'm not looking for a job currently.

I thought maybe driving those big grocery

trucks, you know, for Tesco's,

might not be too hard, but they seem quite

difficult to maneuver, especially some of

these tight driveways where people live.

Or if there's nowhere to pull over, you

just got to stop in the road, I guess.

I feel nervous having 140 viewers.

Why are there so many of you?

Are you bots,

or are you just sticking around for the

bot drama?

Okay, it's going down.

Is buying his OnlyFans worth it?

Definitely.

You'll be able to jack off to my butthole.

Just imagine the thought of fucking me.

You'll never get a better wank.

You get 20% discount if you sign up with 3

months.

That's value for money.

Come on.

Bet you guys all bots, aren't you?

Imagine I'm just sitting there thinking

you guys all real and you're actually all

just bots.

You know what would be a good bot?

If they actually chatted.

There are bots.

Have you seen financial channels like

stock channels?

You go to the comment section and It's all

just bots talking to each other.

Like,

I know Mr.

Jenkins knows how to create generational

wealth.

And then the replies are like, wow, how

did he do it?

Please tell me.

When the bots start talking to each other

and

then you actually think they're real

people, that's when things get scary.

Ah, market's still going up.

I really think it's not going to do

anything until tomorrow.

Oh, at least I don't have to go working

anymore.

I don't want to go work anyway.

I went to work and I made £20 and then I

got a puncture.

Now I've got to buy a new tire.

Great.

Did you delegate your PHOP account?

What does delegate mean?

That was funny though with Ollie.

Ollie was mocking me for having 90 viewers

and then he comes on today and I've got

like 20,000.

Who's mocking who now?

That's kind of funny though.

Get the tire patched.

It's completely flat and it's half hanging

off the wheel.

I don't think that's going to help it.

It would be cool if pro trader took you

under their wing to train you.

You know what?

Traveling Trader actually is

doing that.

He's looking for, I think, 8 traders.

I don't know how much you gotta pay.

It's gotta be a lot if he's gonna take

time out to tutor you privately.

Imagine me.

He would rip his hair out.

I'll just YOLO and I'd be like, so I

YOLO'd last night, but it didn't make any

money.

Please help me.

And then I'll say, this is too hard.

Can't you just do it for me?

And I'll pay you 5%.

Imagine paying him the money to tutor you

just to troll him.

How much would it— he must be charging

like, I don't know, $10,000.

I don't

know why people think if someone's trying

to sell you a course or try to teach you

something that they're trying to scam you.

Like, is George Trombly trying to scam you

because he's selling books?

You think, oh, if he's so good at

Japanese, why doesn't he just get a job

talking Japanese instead of selling books?

It's because if you have something to

teach, you can monetize it.

So why not?

Why not monetize something that you know

about?

So what, everyone who's a teacher is a

scammer?

I don't know why people just think If you

teach something or offer a course, you're

a scammer.

Traveling Trader is obviously passionate

about trading and has been doing it for a

long time.

I'm getting nervous with this 150

viewership.

You know, if they're going to bot, they

should do it with a believable number,

like 50 bots.

Because then I wouldn't even think it's—

but I'd be like, oh wow, 200 viewers.

But 20,000?

No one's gonna believe that.

At least make it believable.

God, my balls hurt.

Although I do think with day trading it is

a very profitable business to

squeeze money out of people who want to be

day traders because it's so difficult.

Most people won't be able to do it, but

they'll keep clinging on to the dream and

they'll keep paying the money for the

Discord and courses and stuff.

I mean, if it was really easy and you can

learn in a month, then you wouldn't get

any retention.

People would just be like, oh, I've done a

month, I'm a pro now, don't need it

anymore.

Goodbye.

But the more you lose, the more you start

paying for stuff like courses and

Discords.

It's a really good business model.

You keep saying, oh guys, it's possible,

you can do it, although it is really hard.

Don't have any delusions about it.

All you gotta do is work hard, stick to

the plan.

Yeah, to be honest, I'm not really feeling

like I'm getting a lot of value for money

out of it.

I do.

I enjoy it as entertainment and I do like

the community feeling and I like tuning

into the private livestreams like it's a

company meeting with the boss or

something.

And then I like seeing what he has to say,

whether it's been— it's not really been

helpful though, because he keeps being

bearish.

So I opened shorts and now I've lost

hundreds of pounds.

I lost hundreds of pounds shorting plus

hundreds of pounds joining this.

He's cost me like £400 because I don't

know if I'd be this heavy short if it

wasn't because of him keep going on about

the market crashing and stuff.

But he, I don't know, like he's also

opened a hedge which he's down 10% on.

But he says you want your hedge to be

down.

You would never want your hedge to be up.

You want your portfolio to be up.

It's like insurance.

You pay for it, but you don't want to have

to use it.

Oh, it feels so good.

Problem is my entire portfolio is a hedge.

My hedge is actually crypto, so I'm like

hedging in the other way.

I'm short with a long hedge.

It's so stupid.

It's so stupid.

Will I make OnlyFans again?

Yes,

I restarted my OnlyFans a month ago.

There is sound, I just wasn't talking.

Oh my God, if my lips aren't moving, it's

because I'm not talking.

What, you think I'm a ventriloquist?

Hey guys, welcome back to this stream.

Today I'm gonna keep talking.

Oh God.

I should trick you into thinking it's

muted.

Oh, you can't hear me?

Guess I was muted.

Did I trick you?

Oh no, it's starting again.

Uh, 8 o'clock.

So what, 8:20 is when they'll stop?

Yeah, I kind of don't care anymore.

I might make dinner.

Yeah, can you hide the view count?

Participant modes, live commentary,

approved users.

What does that mean?

So you can only comment if you are an

approved user.

No, I don't see any way to hide the view

count.

1066, the year of the Battle of Hastings.

King Harold, after defeating the Vikings

in the north, now have to march down south

urgently to repel the Norman invaders.

Okay, Mad Max banned for accusing me of

botting.

It wasn't me.

Yeah, the Normans only won because King

Harold just defeated the Vikings and they

were tired, and then they had to march all

the way back down south.

And also they were kind of winning, they

just— they thought they were winning and

they chased after them, but it was a

trick.

But they're putting up a good fight

considering.

I mean, if they didn't have to just fight

off the Vikings, they would have defeated

King William.

Imagine if Harold won.

The English language would be so

different.

It wouldn't have all these French words in

it.

Explain how I got fired again.

Well, I'm just banned from the apps.

I need to message the boss again tomorrow.

Why don't I teach English in Asia?

I did.

I've already done that.

It's boring.

Did I pay off my overdraft?

Yeah, I got £570 from Every today, so I

used that to pay off part of it, and I'm

just waiting for my YouTube money to pay

off the rest of it.

Well, probably start making some food.

I'm gonna do stir fry.

I'm bored of this botting thing now.

It's neither funny or even scary anymore.

Very dull indeed.

Look, you can see where the bots came.

So that was the first one.

Spikes to 2,400.

That was the second one spiked to 21,000.

So look, 20 minutes and then 20 minutes,

and now we got another spike.

Whoa.

Oh, the cat came in today and it was

walking around my house jumping up and

down and stuff.

It kept going upstairs and coming back

down again.

It was weird.

Oh wait, I didn't change the mics.

Hold on.

Testing, testing again.

Surprise me.

Get yours free in seconds.

The moment I saw— is it working?

I don't know why I got banned again from

the driving app.

Oh, I've got to take my rubbish out today.

Tomorrow the rubbish people are coming.

I've got,

I've got some plastic stuff.

I've got these.

Pot noodles.

And what else?

Yeah, I've got this black bag as well.

I might do it with that.

Oh, I put my parsley in there.

That's where it went.

Okay, JS banned, accusing me of botting

and also just being a prick every stream,

thinking I don't notice it.

That's what you get.

You act like a bitch, you get treated like

a bitch.

Okay, so I'm gonna make my famous

vegetable stir-fry with bits of bacon, and

this is how you do it.

Put a dash of oil.

That should

work.

JS is also a proven pedo,

just saying, and we don't like his kind

around here.

We got some pancetta for the stir-fry.

I've got this broccoli since 2 weeks ago.

It's going yellow.

It smells a bit weird.

Why are they yellow?

It'll go green again, won't it?

Broccoli, it was all yellow.

And I got some onions.

I'm scared to use the Temu pan because of

last time it was burning.

Not doing anything.

Welcome back to a new Cooking with Daniel.

Today we're making perfect stir-fry.

Yeah, I did think about going to Lidl

instead of Tesco, but at Tesco I get club

points.

I get the Clubcard savings and the points.

Come on, do something boring.

More

oil.

Whoa, oh my God, oh,

it's hot.

These vegetables are so hard, it seems

they're ages to cook.

I wonder if I make sweet and sour again.

I think I can just pour the ketchup right

in.

Soy sauce.

I don't think you even need lemon because

ketchup is already kind of tangy, isn't

it?

No, I don't.

Jesus Christ.

Whoa, when you squish the broccoli in it,

it makes the juice come out.

Okay, put the bacon in.

My fridge is so empty, it looks kind of

sad.

Look, it's been 20 minutes.

The box is going down now.

Every time it's 20 minutes.

Before it goes down again.

Thanks, Sunny, for buying me this yakiniku

sauce and this juice.

Very generous.

Might have put too much ketchup.

About some

sugar.

This looks more like a soup now.

Why did I add tomato sauce?

Because it's sweet and sour.

Sweet and sour stir-fry, motherfucker.

Okay.

Looks so good.

Whoa,

oh my God!

Oh,

voilà!

Vegetable stir-fry with a tomato sweet and

sour sauce.

Looks delicious.

I actually want chopsticks.

It's

still raw.

The

sauce is too liquidy.

This is gonna be a hard one.

Oh God.

The broccoli's raw.

I can't eat it quickly because it's so

hot.

嗯。

Oh no.

Oh

God.

Oh

God,

the ketchup.

And so strong.

It's like pure ketchup.

Oh, I love it, love it, love it.

Yeah.

Oh,

oh, it's so disgusting.

It just tastes like ketchup.

Oh God.

Under silent wings.

Thinks I make more money from a 10-minute

video than a stream.

You wish.

If a 10-minute video makes more money than

a stream,

obviously I'd make them instead of

streaming.

But Fucking moron.

I think I don't know how much money a

10-minute video makes versus a stream.

10-minute video makes like $15.

I make like $50, $60 per stream.

To make $60, you need like 15,000 views.

I can't get 15,000 views.

And then you run out of ideas.

So what are you gonna make a video about?

Sure, if I had 30 ideas,

I'd pump out a video every day, but I

don't have any ideas.

You either have an idea or you don't.

If I can get guaranteed 20,000 views a

video, then yeah, it would be worth doing

over live streams.

Oh God.

Hello.

Oh God.

Oh,

me,

me.

Oh my God.

Voilà.

Okay.

Oh my God.

How are we going to get rid of this toxic

sludge?

I don't think I'm gonna make cupcakes.

So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put my

finger up your

Bum.

Now what I'm going to do is I'm probably

going to sieve out the food waste and wash

it so it's not gross anymore.

Wash it.

There, eat it.

I'll give you £5 to eat that.

I

shouldn't have tied up the bin bags.

If my mum ever accuses me of not cleaning

up this This is my proof.

Don't ever say I don't help.

God, I hate little dregs of onion,

like the little bits of it.

It's gross.

God,

I need something to wash that disgusting

ketchup out of my mouth.

Like a nice big cup.

Horrible idea.

Ketchup in the stir fry.

Jesus, I need a double KitKat to get rid

of

that, get it out of my mouth.

It's actually a really nice feeling

knowing that I don't have to go to work

tomorrow.

When I have this feeling of having to go

to work the next day, I just feel so

miserable, like I can't enjoy anything.

It really is actually kind of nice.

I wonder what the boss is going to say

when I tell him I'm banned again.

I wonder if he's going to get me unbanned

again and then I'll just get banned again.

Getting a bit cold now.

Okay, does Daniel ever go outside?

Yep, I enjoy sitting in the garden between

12 and 2 o'clock.

I quite like to sit in the garden.

Yeah, I've got some nice pictures, videos

of the cat.

So this cat came—

wait, I'll put landscape mode.

It's a really pretty cat,

this cat.

Keeps coming to my house,

who's playing with my box.

And then here he's rolling around.

I think it's a she, actually.

Ah, so sweet.

It's got spots on its bellies and stripes

on its back.

Look.

How did he get under there?

And then we got this one.

Such a nosy cat.

It's

funny, he was speaking to me and I got

this one.

Where you going?

Where you going?

A very talkative cat.

And this is the nail in my tire,

and this is my tire.

It came off the wheel.

Yeah, interesting.

It came in my house and then went upstairs

and it jumped around a lot, and then it

came down, went out, and then it came back

in, and then it went back out, and then it

came back in.

It's an interesting looking cat, isn't it?

It's got very long legs and very skinny,

slender body.

It's like a mixture of a wild cat, like a

Bengal,

But not completely like those wild cats.

I remember TotalBiscuit,

um, in his vlogs he had these cats which

were like wild cats.

Very long legs, very springy, they can

jump really high.

Very lanky looking things.

If I was going to get a cat, I wouldn't

get one like that.

I like a nice thick chubby cat with big

arms, big forearms,

long hair.

Might get a ginger cat.

Ginger long hair, do they even exist?

Get the wheel fixed?

I can't be bothered.

Now that I've lost my job, I don't even

need to drive anywhere.

Yeah, I miss TotalBiscuit.

He was my favorite person to watch when it

came to gaming.

Although he did go on and on a bit, like

an hour-long video ranting about the video

games industry and why it's bad.

I don't know why, I just like listening to

him talk about stuff.

I really like the Corpse Channel podcast.

That was my favorite podcast back in the

day.

Total Biscuit

was probably the only reason to watch it.

Jesse and Dodger were a bit annoying, but

they bounced off Total Biscuit well.

I don't know why I lost my job.

I'm just— I'm banned off the app again.

Says user is disabled.

Yeah, well, your mum's a fat bitch.

Call me disabled.

Oh God, I wish Total Biscuit didn't die.

Imagine dying at 33 years old.

Was he 34?

I think he's 34 years old.

At least I outlived Total Biscuit.

I think the manager doesn't even know why

I keep getting banned.

He doesn't even seem to know why I'm

banned.

The picture on the wall

reminds you of me.

The app is right, you are disabled.

Yeah, well, your mum is gay.

This job's so annoying.

Keep getting banned, unbanned, banned,

unbanned.

Bee livery's dead.

No, nothing.

Not even any drunk people.

I think there's one bee livery today.

It was for £26 for a Lucozade, Haribo Star

Mix, and one Smirnoff.

In Cornwall— the place names in Cornwall

are so weird, like

Liscard, Lostwithiel, Lenreth.

Sounds like Lord of the Rings places.

Minions, what?

Lewanik, Altanen.

Look at this place, Altanen,

Port Isaac.

Sounds like, um,

like a fantasy game map.

My plans tomorrow, well, I got the tire

people coming over to change my tire,

and then I'm going to try and find out one

band from my job again, and then I'm gonna

play Kingdom Come.

So English would be like if England won

1066.

Yeah, pretty much.

Those are like the Old English sounding

names.

I guess the southwest retained more of its

English ancestry.

The southeast just got destroyed by

foreigners.

The Romans, the Normans, now who?

Oh, what am I gonna do?

Why is the purple Bill Bo Baggins lying