I was physically abused by a blonde white girl.

Hey, so ever since I stated that I feel

more attracted to Asian women than white

women, loads of people have been

commenting and messaging me saying, oh,

you're only saying that because you're

denying— you're lying to yourself. You're

pretending that you don't like white women

because you know that you can't get white

women even if you tried. And I don't know,

maybe that's true. Maybe there is some

part of me that feels like, what's the

point in even trying because I know I'm

going to be rejected? It's like some

people find it very hard to believe it

when I say I find white women less

attractive than other kinds of women.

It's like they're saying that if you don't

find white women the most attractive out

of all the women, then there's something

wrong with you, or you're just lying to

yourself because, you know, white women

are the international standard of beauty.

I was starting to think, what, what is the

reason? Why do I dislike— why do I feel

less attracted to white women than

non-white women? And I started thinking

back to my childhood, and I remember this

time when This blonde-haired girl started

bullying me. So I was playing football in

the field at school, and when we play

football at school, we put our school bags

on the floor and we create goalposts,

like one here and then one there, and then

we kick the football between the bags.

And then this girl, one day, she grabbed

my bag and tried to run off with it. So I

chased her and I grabbed her by the arm to

grab my bag back, and apparently I broke

her bracelet, which I didn't even notice

that she was wearing a bracelet, but

apparently I broke her bracelet, which was

very expensive, and it was a special gift

given to her by her mother. So this girl

started shouting and yelling at me,

saying that I broke her bracelet and that

I had to pay her back £20 so she could buy

a new one or get it fixed. At first I

refused. I said, no, I'm not giving you

£20. And then she just started to like

harass me. She would start waiting for me

at the field where we played football

every day. As soon as lunch started, I

went to the field to play football with my

friends, and And she would just be

standing there. I'd see like this, this

blonde-haired girl, this blonde hair

shining in the sun, waiting for me. And I

just felt like, oh God, no, she's still

waiting there. And then when I tried to

start playing football, she would come

over to me and start harassing me. She

would start pushing me and slapping me or

hitting me behind the head and doing all

kinds of irritating things. Or if I tried

to put my bag down to start playing

football, she would try to run off with my

bag again. And it was so irritating. It

must have lasted for about a week. I tried

to— I tried my best to ignore her, but

then she started to get more and more

aggressive. She started doing things like

punching me in the face. She would

actually just punch me in the face as hard

as she could, but she was like a small

girl, so it wasn't really painful. I was

just standing there and she was like,

ugh, ugh, and I was like, what am I

supposed to do? I can't punch her or hit

her back because she's a girl. I can't be

physical with her because she's a girl. I

didn't know what to do. She wouldn't leave

me alone. She was just harassing me every

day for weeks. If I talk about it now,

yeah, it sounds funny. It's hilarious.

Daniel got beaten up by a girl. But back

then, back in school, it was terrifying.

It was traumatizing. I felt so

embarrassed. I felt so harassed and like

abused. I didn't know how to handle the

situation. No one was like trying to

defend me or stand up for me. No one was

helping. They were just laughing at me.

And I used to look forward to lunchtime so

much to go and play football. But then I

just started to dread it because every

time I went to the playground or the

field, she would be standing there waiting

for me like some kind of weird stalker.

In the end, I just caved. I got so fed up

with it, I just gave her the money. I

said, look, here's your £20, can you just

leave me alone now? And maybe that's one

of the reasons why even to this day I kind

of have this— maybe it's a fear of white

women. Maybe it's because I got bullied by

a white girl. I have like this fear

instilled in me that makes me dislike

them. It reminds me of the time when I was

traumatized by this little blonde-haired

girl.

Maybe because I had this experience when I

was a child, every time I see a white

girl, a white lady, it reminds me of that,

that girl who bullied me, and I

automatically feel— I feel unattracted to

her, or I feel a bit scared of her, or I

feel a bit intimidated. I don't know,

it's hard to say. It's kind of funny

because I was bullied a lot, mainly by

guys, and that was mostly just verbal

abuse, just verbal bullying. The only time

I got physically bullied was by a girl.

I've never had a guy punch me in the face

before. The only time I've been punched in

the face ever was by that girl. Who knows,

maybe she fancied me, maybe she was

attracted to me, and she was only doing

that to get my attention. Nah,

maybe I should have said something like,

okay, I'll give you £20, but you have to

be my girlfriend. And why go through so

much trouble just to bully and harass

someone for weeks and weeks only to get

£20? I hated her so much. You don't

understand how much hate I had for her

back then. I think I actually hated her

more than anyone else during school.