A traumatic and humiliating childhood experience

The last few videos I've made over the

past few days have been a bit dark, a bit

serious, talking about serious topics.

And I like making those videos as well,

but I felt like today I wanted to make a

bit more of a light-hearted video and talk

about the time when I was traumatized and

humiliated when I was 10 years old. So me

and my friend, we decided to go to the

park which was nearby my house, and then

My friend had to go home for some reason,

and I decided to stay at the park by

myself, which is kind of strange. It

doesn't really sound like something that I

would do. And there was this other kid at

the park as well. I recognized him from

school. He was a bit younger than me,

maybe a few years younger, so he wasn't in

my class. And he was climbing— you know,

in like parks you get children playgrounds

where they have all that, all those

climbing frames and stuff like that? He

was climbing something, and his shoe fell

to the ground. And I thought it'd be funny

to kick his shoe, you know, just like

joking around, just playing, just teasing,

not, not trying to upset him.

So I kicked his shoe, and I

looked up, and then there was this other

kid there. And I also recognized this kid

as well. He was also from my school, and

he was also in a lower year than me, but

he was huge. He was really big for his

size, and he was really intimidating. And

he looks like, you know, like really rough

looking, like someone you don't want to

mess around with. And for some reason,

there was a baseball bat on the ground

just lying there. I don't know if it

belonged to him or not. Well, he picked up

the baseball bat and he started, he

started to walk towards me. He started to

approach me, and I was absolutely

terrified. I was so scared. I didn't know

what to do. I just turned around and ran.

I ran for my life. I must have run for

about 10 minutes all the way to my house.

I, I ran non-stop. I didn't even look back

once. I didn't even know if he was behind

me. Anyway, I ran and I ran. I ran all the

way home. I've entered my house and I just

burst into tears, started crying. My mum

asked me what happened. I explained to

her, this kid— I was playing in the park

and then this kid came at me with a

baseball bat and tried to beat me to a

bloody pulp. I don't think I actually said

something like that. It was so

frightening. I had never been so scared

and terrified like that before. This kid

was really intimidating. I was so scared

after that happened, I never went to the

park ever again, and it made me scared of

going outside because it felt like the

world is full of these baseball bat

brandishing kids that are gonna try and

beat me up at any anytime. My mum actually

knew which kid I was talking about, and

she asked him one day, why did you chase

my son? And he actually said to my mum

that I was bullying his little brother.

They were brothers. And it made me think,

yeah, I was kind of bullying his little

brother. From his point of view, he was

just protecting his little brother from

me. It's funny, isn't it? Depending on

whose side of the story you listen to, a

single event can sound completely

different. People are so quick to make

themselves the victim of the story if

something bad happened. And for me

personally, I felt like I wasn't doing

anything wrong. I was just having some

fun. I was just teasing him a little. I

wasn't bullying him. And I felt like I

was attacked. I was assaulted by this

large kid, but for that large kid,

he was protecting his little brother. He

saw me as a threat and he was only doing

what a bigger brother would naturally do.

I think that's one of the problems with

bullying. Maybe for the kids who are doing

the bullying, maybe to them it's not

really a big deal. They're just having a

laugh, joking around, teasing the weird

kid at school. But for the kid who's on

the receiving end of that teasing and

bullying, it doesn't feel like it's just a

bit of fun, like it's just teasing and

lightheartedness. It doesn't feel like

that. It feels like you're being attacked,

like you're being singled out, like you

don't have any allies or friends. It makes

going to school a living nightmare. I

don't know if that big kid would have

actually hit me with the baseball bat if I

didn't run away. I'm not sure what would

have happened if I just stood there.

Would have been interesting, but I

actually believed he was going to hit me

with the baseball bat right in the face.

That experience really scared me. It

really put me off going outside by myself

and especially going to the park. After

that happened, I felt like I lost a lot of

confidence and I found people to be scary.

This is completely unrelated, but last

night at work, this woman comes in. She

buys one pack of tampons.

Tampons cost £1. She wanted to pay by

card. At my shop, you have to spend at

least £3 to pay by card. So I said, you

need to spend another £2 if you want to

pay by card. And she said, oh, okay then,

that's fine, leave it. And then she just

walks off. I don't get it. Why not just

spend an extra £2 and get 2 more packs of

tampons? It's not like you're never going

to need them. You're going to have a

period again sometime in the future. Why

not just buy an extra 2 packs and then use

them later? You don't have to chuck them

back at me and storm off. I don't

understand why women buy just 1 pack of

tampons in the shop anyway. Why don't you

just buy a massive box of them online and

then use them for the rest of your life?

If you buy a massive box, you can get it

at a discounted price and you don't have

to go through the embarrassment of having

to buy them at a shop. People do things

like this all the time. They'd buy

something like drinks and it will come to

£2.50, and I say, there's a minimum spend

of £3 if you want to pay by card, and they

just go, oh, okay, leave it then. They

just walk off without buying anything.

Come on, it's only 50p! How can you not

have 50p? Just buy a chocolate bar or

something. There's even a sign that says

there's a minimum spend of £3 if you want

to pay by card, but no one pays attention

to it. Nope. And then sometimes people

come in to buy cigarettes and they ask for

something like, can I have 20 Mayfair?

And then sometimes we don't have any left,

we've sold out, so I say, We don't have

any 20 Mayfair, but we have 10 Mayfair.

Would you like 10 Mayfair? And they say,

nah, leave it. Why don't you just buy 2

boxes of 10 Mayfair? Then you'll have 20

Mayfair. 10 plus 10 is 20.