my heart was broken 10 years ago by a Japanese girl - ASMR story

Hi and welcome to today's video. Today

I'll be celebrating the 10-year

anniversary of when I got my heart broken

into a thousand pieces by a Japanese girl.

Um, you might know who she is. Her name is

Sayaka. If you didn't know, I'll spell it

out here in a lovely shade

That's her name.

You might already know about this because

I made a video explaining the whole

situation a few years ago, and the video

was titled something silly like, A White

Guy Stole My Japanese Girlfriend. And to

help me celebrate this special occasion,

I have an alcoholic beverage. I hate

this stupid—

why is it so difficult to open? I remember

when I first started to drink beer, my dad

would sometimes have a glass of beer, and

then I would steal a sneaky sip from his

glass and kind of enjoyed the taste. It

was nice and bitter.

So here's to me and Sayaka, our 10-year

anniversary since we broke up. Well,

since she dumped me.

Mm. I can taste the bitterness

of my heartbreak. Okay, so who

is Sayaka? You might be wondering if you

didn't see the video that I made about

her.

Shall we start right from the beginning?

I won't. I won't. Make it too long. I'll

just keep it brief. So it all started in

the year 2008. I was really into anime.

I was learning Japanese, and I was really

interested in getting myself a Japanese

girlfriend. So I went onto this website

called hello-world.com,

and I made a profile, and I met

this girl called Sayaka. She actually

messaged me first. And she said that the

reason why— the only reason why she

messaged me was because I wrote in my

profile that my favorite girl group was

this Japanese girls group called Morning

Musume. And she was a fairly typical

looking Japanese girl. She had long,

straight, dark hair, an Asian face,

and she was studying civil engineering at

university in a city called Fukuoka,

which looks like a swear word in English,

but it's not a swear word.

And we started chatting, messaging each

other, and we began

some kind of romantic relationship,

online relationship. We called each other—

we used to call each other boyfriend and

girlfriend, and we would Skype each other

for hours and hours and hours every single

day. And I really liked her because she

was cute and she was interested in me,

and she just seemed like the perfect

Japanese girlfriend that anyone would

want. And she sent me loads of pictures

of herself, and I used to save them. The,

um, the wallpaper of my phone was her

face, and every time I switched it on, it

would be like she was greeting me, and I

used to get very excited to look at my

phone. And we used to talk about all kinds

of things. We used to even plan our future

together. We would talk about moving in

together and getting married and then how

many kids we would have and then what we

would name the kids. We were pretty much

planning our entire future together,

together, even though we had never met

I was so certain that she was the one.

I thought she was it, my soulmate. I

thought we were going to meet and then be

together forever for the rest of our

lives. It would be perfect, just like in

the animes. So we were basically Skyping

each other for hours and hours and hours

every single day from around the beginning

of 2008 until around

November 2009. So now it's 2019.

Hasn't quite been 10 years yet. It's been

about 9 years and half

of another year. And at the time I was

working at my dad's company. I was a—

I was an office junior helping out with

things. I was also kind of like an

assistant to my dad. I would help him do

his job as well, and I was trying to save

up money so I could go to Japan and

finally meet Sayaka.

Unfortunately, um,

things didn't work out so well. Things

didn't go to plan, and I ended

up losing her to this Czech Republic guy.

This guy who looks like Toby Turner, you

know that YouTuber? He was pretty big,

but now his channel's all dead. I came

back from work one day and I was excited

to talk to her on Skype like we usually

did, but she had bad news for me. She said

to me, I don't love you anymore, Daniel.

I found someone else. I'm going to be with

him now. And she dumped me just like that,

and I couldn't believe it. I was so

shocked. I thought,

I thought she was in love with me. I

thought we were going to get married and

have kids and live together. I had no idea

that something like this could even

happen. How could this happen? I rushed

downstairs where my mum was sitting in the

living room. I started frantically walking

up and down saying, she dumped me, she

dumped me, what am I going to do? My mum

didn't really care. She just said, oh,

oh, oh really? So I

gave up trying to get sympathy from my mum

and went back up to my room. And then my

dad finally came home and he asked me what

was wrong. And I, I just started

crying in front of my dad for the first

time ever. And he put his hand on my

shoulder and he tried to comfort me. It

was really awkward. And I just started

sobbing like a complete loser. I was I was

crying, saying, Saika dumped me. She said

she found someone new and she doesn't want

to be with me anymore. I can't believe it,

Dad. It's kind of embarrassing now I think

about it, but it was the first time I ever

talked to my dad about girls and

relationships, and I kind of felt like it

brought us closer together. I started

asking my dad about his experiences with

girls. He didn't have much experience, to

be honest. He started telling me about

this one girl he fancied seed, but she

basically ignored him and wasn't

interested in him. I think I can safely

say that Sayaka was the only time that I

truly felt in love, even though I never

met her. I truly felt in love. I had this

feeling of excitement deep down inside of

me just from the thought of talking to

her. Just from hearing her voice, I

started to get all excited and pumped up.

And even though I had girlfriends after

her and relationships, I can honestly say

that I never really loved any of my exes

after Sayaka. I liked

them, I didn't hate them, but I don't

think I could say that I loved any of my

ex-girlfriends. It's just none

of them, none of them really came close to

Sayaka. They were either too fat,

too ugly, or too old, or too crazy. I

tried really hard to find another girl who

would fill the void of emptiness that

Sayaka left, who was as attractive

and as pretty as Sayaka, who made me feel

the same way that Sayaka did, but I could

just never find one. I could never find

another girl that made me feel that that

same feeling of excitement and love that

Sayaka made me feel. After Sayaka dumped

me, I was just so depressed for about 2

weeks. For about 2 weeks, every single

night I would cry myself to sleep looking

at her photos, wishing that she would get

dumped by the Czech Republic guy, or maybe

he would be really horrible, and then she

would come back to me. And then our bond,

our relationship would be stronger than it

ever was before. But that never happened.

They ended up getting married. She moved

to the Czech Republic, and then

she had his baby. I know all this because

I'm friends with her on Facebook, and I

check in on her sometimes just to see what

she's up to, just to see her new photos.

And sometimes I wonder if she ever thinks

about me. She must have thought about me

at least once. Come on, at least once.

She must have— the memory of me must have

crossed her mind in the past 10 years.

How could she just forget me like that?

We were— we were so in love with each

other for nearly 2 years, at least a year

and a half. And we had all these plans,

and she even sent me nudes. I saw her

naked, but I deleted the nudes because I

was scared my dad would find them on my

computer. Back then, I didn't really know

much about computers. I was a bit

hopeless, and my computer was pretty

crappy, and it would freeze and get

viruses. And every time that happened, I

would, I would call my dad. Not on the

phone, I meant I would go downstairs and

call him up to my room to help me fix it.

I mean, he would fix it. I wouldn't do

anything. I would just stand behind him

watching, hoping that he didn't find my

stash of nudes. After Sayaka dumped me,

I felt as though I lost the ability to be

able to love and to feel that, that

feeling of joy from another person.

And I think maybe subconsciously my brain

disabled my ability to love another person

like that again because it was just so

painful when she dumped me. It was just so

heartbreaking. And maybe I didn't want to

feel that pain ever again. So

subconsciously, my, my brain stopped me

from being able to feel like that. So I

wouldn't get hurt again, you know, kind of

like a defense mechanism. Sometimes I feel

a bit worried. How come, how come I can't

find someone that I can love like that

again? What if I'm not capable of loving

like that again? I managed to find several

women who loved me. I was in quite

a lot of relationships where I knew that

the, the girl that I was with loved me and

cared for me, but I just didn't really

feel that strongly about them back. Maybe

it was because I didn't really feel

attracted to them. Maybe it was because

they weren't the one.

Maybe if I met Sayaka in real life, then

maybe I wouldn't have really felt much for

her. Maybe she was fat in real life. I

don't know. She kept worrying about the

size of her bottom. She kept saying, oh,

I don't want to send you full-body photos

because my bottom's a bit big. I don't

know why I should be worried about that

because I'm pretty sure every guy likes

big bottoms. No guy is gonna say, oh,

your bottom is too big, bye. Sometimes I

wonder to myself, is there something wrong

with me? How come I can't love people

in the same way that they love me? Am I

broken? And then I keep thinking back to

my past And the only thing I can think of

is, well, maybe this whole experience of

being dumped by Sayaka was so traumatic

and scarring that it, it just kind of

broke me. And I don't know, maybe I'm

scared of, of getting myself into that

kind of situation again, because if I get

dumped again or betrayed, it would be

painful. It would be really painful, like

it was 10 years ago. Sometimes I like to

joke to myself. I like to say, well,

since my heart was broken by a Japanese

girl, my mission in life now is to break

as many hearts as I can. You know, just

leave a trail of broken hearts, and that

way I can get,

get some kind of revenge. I don't know,

that sounds a bit messed up, doesn't it?

Maybe I'll cut that out. Editing guy, can

you cut that out please? We don't want

people to think I'm some kind of weirdo.

No, no, no, I didn't, didn't set

out purposely to break hearts.

I don't enjoy hurting people, if that's

what you think. No, I don't, I don't feel

proud. I don't get any joy from breaking

people's hearts and making them upset and

sad. I wish I didn't have to, break up

with people. I wish I could find someone

that I could love as much as they loved

me, and then I wouldn't have to— wouldn't

have to hurt them. But, you know,

sometimes you get yourself into situations

and you end up making people cry. Well, I

hope you enjoyed that story about Sayaka.

Now you know who she is. She played a

pretty big part in my life, and it was

thanks to her that my Japanese ability got

so good. When you've spoken to a Japanese

person for nearly 2 years, every single

day over Skype for hours and hours, then

yeah, your Japanese is gonna get pretty

good. So here's to Sayaka.

Hope you are happy. Hope you're having a

good life, and I hope you remember me at

least, you know, once or twice now and

then. Don't you care about what I'm

doing or what happened to me?

It's a bit— it's a bit cold-hearted,

don't you think?