Hiding in my room is live!

Testing.

Testing. One, two.

Testing.

Just washed my hair.

Thought I'd drop in, say hi to you guys. What's going on?

Winter's not here yet. I'm still wearing my t-shirt.

I found out how to fix the YouTube app. I had to do like this weird trick where you minimize it and then open it again.

So we are on month 1 and a half living in the car. It's been going on for so long now.

Why are you suddenly asking about Blood Bucket?

Old news.

Why don't you live with your mum? Because I can make more money here.

There's too many distractions at home.

I still don't know if

Car's coming. Yeah, I still don't know if I go home after I finished my mission or if I try and get a house. There's just not been any houses popping up that I want.

There was one, but then it disappeared. And then there's a few others, but they're too expensive.

I feel like I'd rather live in the car and save money than pay rent.

Why have I only got 20 viewers? What the hell happened? Is it bugged or something?

Yeah, Pushkin's fine. My mom sent me some videos of him on my sofa.

No, I've never seen Arcane. Sounds boring.

Uh, why is it only saying 25 viewers? I can't, can't be bothered to stream if that's all I'm gonna get.

How do I shower? I haven't had a shower in nearly a month.

I wash my hair using a bottle of water.

Film more YouTube videos. I don't know what to film. I already made the living in the Tesla video and the camping one. I mean, I'm not really camping anymore, am I?

I'd say my skin's the same

even without showering.

Oh, I don't really wash my face much anymore either. Splash some water from the sync, I guess. No, I'm not on a main road, it's just a country road, but for some reason there's quite a lot of traffic on it right now,

man. People really slow clicking on the stream tonight.

45. Come on, I can't be bothered if it doesn't go over 100.

So I sent my mum £2,500 last Sunday, so I owe her £17,200 now.

Can't stream earlier because I work late.

I took, I took that Indian woman to work yesterday.

It was a bit awkward. She didn't talk unless I asked questions. She didn't ask me any questions.

I asked a few questions and I thought— I felt like, oh, she doesn't really want to talk, so I'll shut up.

The complaining channel guy, what happened to him?

I miss when he used to make those videos mocking me. They were funny.

Remember that time I was streaming outside and walked past his house? I didn't even No,

you look tired. Yeah, I'm pretty tired.

Hard work making $6K a month, you know.

Ready for taxes? The tax bill for the money I'm making now won't be due until 2024.

8th January, so there's plenty of time. By that time, I would have paid off my mom. All the money will be going into my pocket, not her pocket.

Oh man, 52 years. What the

fuck?

What girl?

So updates on the girls,

um, I still chat Spanish girl, but I haven't met her since last month. Um, things didn't go anywhere with Van Girl. I met her once. She said we can meet again, and I messaged her a few times, but unless I message her, she doesn't message me, so I'm not gonna waste my time. If a girl's into you,

they'll message you.

If they're not into you, they won't message you. If you message them, yeah, they'll be polite and reply, but they're just being polite. If she was actually interested, she would message me.

So yeah, I gave up on fangirl.

Disappointing, because after we met, she said we could meet again and we exchanged phone numbers. So I thought, oh, she's interested. So I followed up and I asked the questions like how she's doing.

She said she got a new van.

I can't be bothered right now with women.

I'm not gonna put in all this effort messaging them when 100% of the time when I'm the one putting in all the effort, it goes nowhere.

If a woman's interested in you, you'll know. You won't even have to question it. You'll just know because they'll be messaging you. So my new rule is

I'm not gonna bother. Like, I'll put some effort in in the beginning to see if they bite, but if they don't, then I'm not wasting my time texting and texting and texting them when they're not texting back or they're not initiating.

Why I always stream in the dark like this, because this light is the only light I have in the car.

You make enough for professionals? I'm not— wait, I'm not working all day and then blowing it for like 20 minutes with a professional and then it's rubbish, because it's either going to be rubbish and then I just waste my money, or it's gonna be so good, and then I get hooked and then I blow all my money.

So there's no good outcome of doing that.

Now, my experience, every time I got a girlfriend, I didn't have to do anything. They were keen, they were interested. I just, you know, existed and they liked me and I didn't have to put in any work. Every time I got a girlfriend, that's how it was. Not once ever had a time where I had to like

win her over and then I got her. That's not how it works. You're never going to make a girl interested in you just because you texted her loads. Or showed interest.

Why did you like being in the car before, but now you're tired of it? Um.

At first it was exciting and novel, and now it's just

a bit of a pain in the backside.

Now I'm just doing it so I don't have to pay rent.

If you didn't have to put in any work, why did they leave you? Um, those are 2 different things. I'm talking about initial attraction, not the long-term success of a relationship.

In the beginning, there should be no question if she's interested or not.

If she's interested, she'll keep messaging you. If she's not, she won't message you. Simple as that. When you're in an established relationship and you've gotten towards the end of the honeymoon phase, um, then yeah, you've got to put in effort, otherwise you're going to lose out. In the beginning, you get away with a lot because they'll tolerate—

they'll tolerate a lot. Women will tolerate a lot in the honeymoon phase.

This usually lasts about 7 to 8 months before they get fed up and they're like, well, in the beginning they think you're amazing and they don't see many flaws. Or they're willing to put up with them in the beginning. And towards the end of the honeymoon phase, all they see are the flaws, and things they thought were

cute now piss them off.

And then they're just waiting for like one final thing to break the camel's back, and then they're gonna dump you. That's— I mean, like, it sucks and everything, and if you could go back in time and do things differently,

or if, like, you in the relationship knowing that it's going to end in a couple months

because the honeymoon phase has

played out, I mean, what— I mean, the only thing you can hope for is you got more sex out of it before it ended.

What else can you hope for? Like, okay, if you go back in time, you could do this differently and say that differently,

but the outcome's still the same. It's just going to be slightly delayed.

So like, if you go into things knowing that it's not going to last forever, then I feel like your only job as the guy is to extract maximum sex.

And, um, like, make sure you, you try and do all the things you wanted to do with her whilst you have the opportunity to.

Like, you wanted to do it in a tent, or you wanted to do this or try that. Make sure you, you get those ticked off before the relationship ends, otherwise you're going to be kicking yourself.

Are you craving it? Uh, a man always craves sex,

but a man goes into a relationship knowing that it has a lifespan,

knowing that once it ends It's not going to be easy to get again for a while.

So yeah, you want to extract maximum cereal.

I'd say the only thing I'd kick myself over is not getting as much cereal as I would have liked, really. I mean, it's not— I don't know, like, if I could go back in time and do it all again from the beginning knowing what the outcome was going to be in the end.

I feel like I, I did everything I could have done to extract maximum cereal.

And really, ideally, the best moment to break up is once you've had your fill and you're like, yeah, I had cereal enough, I guess, kind of bored now.

Like, I keep thinking to myself, yeah, the breakups suck.

What could I have done differently?

Fucking cars. How many fucking cars are gonna drive past?

Oh, here comes another one. Say, every time a car comes, it ruins my stream of consciousness.

So every time I get into a relationship, I I'm always thinking, yeah, sorry, when's this one gonna end?

Oh, vomited in my mouth.

Breakups lead to more growth. Um.

I think a breakup will affect how you behave in the next relationship. Like, in the previous relationship, I was accused of dry texting, so in the next one, I was like very aware that I need to up my texting game. So, you know, I was very good at texting for the most part until I start to get

fed up.

Here comes another one.

You seem a little too obsessed with his set.

Yeah, I mean, sex is fucking annoying. Sex is the only thing in life where you need someone else to do it. Every other vice— alcoholism, eating food,

gambling— all that can be done alone.

Sex is the fucking annoying thing.

Where you need someone to like you to be able to do it.

And just because you found someone who likes you doesn't mean they're going to like you forever. They're only going to like you for a finite amount of time, and then once they don't like you anymore, goodbye sex. So yeah.

You want to maximize— extract maximum sex whilst you can, because when they don't like you anymore, you're not going to get any.

Getting someone to like you is the stupidest thing in the world because at first they will just like you for no apparent reason because they create this fantasy version of you in their head, and then you don't live up to that version in their head, and then they stop liking you. Even though literally nothing has changed.

It's all an illusion in their head about if they like you or don't like you. Like, I'm literally the same person I was when they liked me compared to when they stopped liking me.

I didn't suddenly change. The illusion in their mind changed because they saw you, or saw you say this, or saw you do this or that.

Would you say you're an incel? Well, yeah, right now I am. I am celibate, not by choice, am I, right now?

Uh, if you showed empathy and love spending time with her, making her breakfast, maybe she'd stay with you.

I don't know why girls keep leaving me.

Looking forward to you getting another tax fine. Well, it's not going to happen because I

report every penny I make. I put it in

my spreadsheet. Oh God, the news keeps going on and on and on about fucking Ed Sheeran.

Oh God,

I was ranting about Ed Sheeran being a dick ages ago and now everyone's catching on.

I've never liked Ed Sheeran, just not for the reasons everyone's hating on him for, for now.

You're doing great paying back the debt. Yeah, next Sunday I'm looking forward to getting it down to 15K. So I got it down from 24K down to 17K. Now

on Sun— next Sunday I'll send off another 2.5K to my mom, get down to 15K.

My target is 10K, and then once we get it under 10K,

I feel a lot better. My reasons, just number one, his music sucks and it's always on the radio, and number two, he looks annoying.

I can't stand that Azizam song, or I hate that Shape of You song. It's so cringe.

It's just a song going on about how he likes the shape of a girl. Seems kind of shallow. Like, you don't— what about her personality?

All you care about is the shape of her body. It's kind of cringe.

I don't like any Ed Sheeran songs.

All these celebrities getting cancelled recently. Even Jacksepticeye is getting a load of hate. Because he said get cooked.

People were saying, oh, he didn't like it when people made fun of his dad dying, but he's happy to joke about someone else's dad dying. Bit hypocritical, isn't

it? But that's what these lefties are like. They are massive hypocrites.

Like, morals and integrity and tolerance and all that,

but then if you go against what they believe in, they're like, oh, you fucking deserve to die, and then they shoot you in the neck.

That's— I mean, they're all like that. They're all massive hypocrites. They show no tolerance to people who disagree with their beliefs. They're constantly wishing death on people.

So he's like, oh, I wish someone would assassinate Trump, or I wish this person would die because they don't agree with my beliefs. It's not very tolerant, is it?

I, I don't know why they're all the same though. It's like they are all the same.

Like, they're just copy and paste personalities.

What do I think of the right?

I mean, I'm not really a fan of the right either. Like, there's a lot of cringe people on the right, like Elon Musk, Alex Jones.

Oh, all pretty cringe.

I mean, I like my Tesla because it's a good car, not because it's Elon Musk's car. I don't care about Elon Musk.

He just owns the company that made my car. It's not like he made the car, his employees made it.

Yeah, politics boring.

People who are really into politics are really annoying.

It's like they're so invested in things

that they have zero ability to affect change in.

So who cares? Why'd you care that much about something you have no control over?

Yeah, people dying is sad and it sucks.

And some people are just obsessed with politics, like it's their whole personality.

Like, if you love politics so much, why don't you become a politician and actually do something?

People obsessed with politics are a huge red flag. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't really want to date someone who's obsessed with politics because it's like you say one thing that goes against what they believe and then they'll start hating you, won't they?

Now everyone's like, oh, not taking a side is taking a side. Really?

Yeah, well, maybe, maybe all these artists and singers and celebrities, maybe they should be all forced to express what side they're on so we're not accidentally consuming products of people who we don't agree with.

Otherwise, they're like deceiving us by not being upfront with their views.

That's basically a form of rape.

My thoughts on LGBTQ? I have no thoughts. I don't think about it at all. Not a single second goes by in the day where I'm thinking about LGBTQ.

If they want to be gay, let them be gay. I don't give a fuck.

Just don't suck my dick

unless you're gonna pay me some money, I guess.

The fuck is Oxford Study? I don't know what that is.

Is that the thing where celebrities speak in front of a bunch of university students?

I've never dated a man. What are you talking about?

What do you think of AI wiping out the human race? Oh God, they keep going on and on and on about AI as well.

Nothing will happen, trust me.

So that guy from Anthropic keeps saying, oh, there's 10% chance humanity is going to get wiped out in the near future. Yeah, sure is.

Sure thing, buddy.

Seriously, I think you could just ignore all the news and then in 30 years' time nothing will have changed.

It's just like life now compared to 20 years ago is exactly the same. How is it different?

The trees are green. The buildings are here from hundreds of years ago.

Only thing different is cars look different and people have phones.

I bet you anything in 30 years Nothing would have changed

except there'll be more electric cars. Cars will look more futuristic.

Phones have peaked. They will just look the same now and they will do the same thing.

Folding phones are a gimmick. No one cares about them.

My predictions.

I bet when the internet first came out, everyone was freaking out about that too.

I just, I don't see it.

I'll wake up in bed one day and I'll be 60 and be like, okay, so where's the AI killer robots?

When did I first use the internet? Um,

I remember having Windows 99 or something,

but it was boring. There were no games. All you could do was access some shitty browser and send emails. Boring.

You know, it's— these left-wing people are funny because it's like they will criticize and condemn you for being a shitty person, but because they think you're a shitty person

then they're justified to do the same shitty things that they criticize you of to you because they've now dehumanized you.

How does that make any logical sense? It's like they're like, oh, I'm such a good person and you're a shitty person because you do X, Y, and Z, so I hate you. And you're like not a human being to me anymore, so that gives me the right to do the same shitty things to you that I've criticized

you. That just makes you a hypocrite.

Then you've just become the person that you criticize the shitty person of. So how does that make you any better?

Well, wow! Thanks, Tesla Model. Why? Why? I mean, if you're an actual good person,

even if you thought someone was shitty, you wouldn't do shitty things to the shitty person because you would be a good person, wouldn't you?

I just— I don't get how their minds work.

Because then by your own logic, that makes you not a good person because you're doing the shitty things to the shitty person.

But to them it's justified because they're doing it to a shitty person. But then that makes you a shitty person too.

Hypocrite.

Wow, wow, thanks F1 Fan Hubnet. The hell is that kind of name?

Don't forget about the mystery girl. Oh, I exist.

Uh, yeah, nothing's gonna happen with that.

Just like all the other fangirls.

Am I gonna stay in the car when the temperature drops? Yeah, I'll just put the heating on. It's easier and cheaper to heat a little tiny car compared to a whole house.

I don't get it. Like, how can you claim to be a good person when you do the same shitty things to the shitty people that you criticize? Because then that just lowers yourself to the level

Living in the car for a bit works. Yeah, if you got a lot of debt and bills to pay and you can stomach sleeping in a car, it does make a lot of sense. There's a lot of people on Instagram doing it.

Like day 295 living in my car.

Once I've paid my debts, I probably look into getting a house again.

Am I still talking to Elvis the Alien? Oh yeah, we chat all the time and we voice chat and video call

and we hang out at the pub

and do barbecues at his house.

When would I be debt-free? That is a great question. According to my calculations,

75 days,

given that nothing catastrophic happens or I don't get sick, which is my main concern.

Pointing out you are what you are doesn't make people to be what you are.

Yeah, that's not what I'm saying though. I'm saying doing the same shitty things that you've criticized the shitty person of doing doesn't make you a good person. It just makes you the same as the shitty person you've criticized.

Because if you were a good person,

you wouldn't do shitty things, even if it's to a shitty person.

Why did I make a community post asking the internet if I was a bad person?

Because my ex said I'm a bad person.

Even though she's done all the things that she's criticized me of doing.

He cannot maintain this lifestyle in his 40s. I don't plan to.

Why is my jaw getting more chiseled? It's probably because I'm not eating enough.

I'm probably eating less than 1,000 calories. I have lunch, it's probably like 500 calories. Dinner is probably like 400, and then I do some snacking. I'm barely getting 1,000 calories.

I just, I don't feel hungry enough to eat more. That's the problem.

If I force myself to eat, I just feel sick.

I feel bad when my ex-girlfriends find love with another man. I honestly don't care anymore.

I think after enough time passes, you— it just doesn't really faze you.

It depends how,

how much time has passed, I guess.

Once you're emotionally detached, it doesn't really bother you anymore.

What happened to your older videos? There's— I'm too lazy to put them back up. I put some back on

in front of me and skidded.

Someone in a small car just pulled up really fast, did like a 25-degree skid.

Thank God he's driving off.

Fucking weirdo. The fuck was that? Like one of those tiny Ford car— Fords.

He just like drove really fast into the lay-by, did a little skid, got out of the car, got back in it, and drove off.

You look miserable and you

Really? Uh, I don't know if I'd say I'm miserable.

I am getting fed up of this lifestyle, but I've still got 2 months left of it.

When are you gonna find another girl? Well, I don't want to because then it's gonna be hard to pay off my debts.

Every time I get a new girl, I either get into more debt or my debt repaying ability goes down the toilet. I mean, if a new girl showed up, yeah, I would I'd grab her with both hands,

but I don't really want to put effort into trying to get one now. It would not be ideal.

I mean, ideally I would not like to get a new girl right now.

Maybe in a few months' time.

I've only got £17,000 left to repay. Please don't send me a new girl right now.

Has anything scary happened to you while in the car? No, I lock the car when I go to sleep.

Also, most people don't even know how to open the door because the handle's weird.

I can't wait to pay off the debt. I just— I can't wait to get it near 10K.

It feels so good.

So sick and tired of having this debt hanging over me.

It feels like I can't do anything. Because if I do do something, then it will just prevent me from paying back the debt and making progress on it.

How much did I owe at the start?

I think it was just like 15K 2 years ago. When the only debt I had was because of the tax. And then I asked for £9K to pay off the Peugeot so I had no more monthly payments for it. And then I stupidly switched the Peugeot for a Citroën, which then brought me back into monthly payments. Then

I borrowed £5K for Tesla and a couple thousand to pay off credit cards. That took my debt to like £25,000. I've gotten the debt down from £25,000 to £17,000 since June.

3 cars in a year, nearly.

How am I feeling lately?

Pretty bored.

There's no excitement.

Every day is the same.

One of my hubcaps fell off. I don't know where it is.

So I'm thinking about buying a new set of hubcaps, but it's not really important. It's just cosmetic, isn't it?

It's only 2 months. 2 months is nothing.

It's long because every day is boring and every day is long and hard. I mean, it's not hard, it's just boring.

But you know, once it's done with, then I can start Actually saving money.

Find something to do. I am, I'm working.

My entire day is working.

I don't want to meet anyone because that would mean missing out on a whole day of work, and that would be an extra day that I'm stuck in this hell.

Although I might go to Wales next month.

The hell was that?

Sound. Oh, it's a weird tractor. Why does it sound like that?

Oh God, I might end up having to go to fucking Wales

in October.

Fuck!

I mean, I don't really, but if the universe sends a girl your way and you don't grab it whilst you have the opportunity to— no,

I'm not buying the iPhone Duo. Looks boring. It's just like an iPad, isn't it?

Why do you say the universe and not God? I don't really believe in God, but I do believe the universe has plans for you and will send things or people your way that will become or play an important part in your life story.

Maybe I believe in destiny.

Isn't Wales a couple hours away?

Yeah, but if I go all the way to Wales, I'd probably end up spending a week there.

That's like £2,000 of earnings gone.

I feel like every time I got a girlfriend

It just kind of happened.

Like, I didn't put huge amounts of effort into getting the girlfriend. It was easy.

Like, I'm just going along with my life and then a girl appears like a Pokémon.

Like, do you remember when I was learning to drive back in 2022 and I passed my driving test? And I was gonna get a car, and then I ended up going to Thailand for 2 years.

That just happened. I didn't put in loads of work and effort trying to get a Thai girlfriend. It, it just happened, and it was easy, so I went with it.

I wasn't sitting there calculating, oh, I need to go to Thailand, I knew I needed a Thai girlfriend. I never gave a shit about Thailand ever in my whole life. And then ended up there for 2 years,

and then that transitioned into ending up in Devon.

It's like, I don't have any control over what happens in my life, and everything that's happened was thrown at me

and I just went with it.

I never planned for it to happen. I never really worked hard to make it happen. It just— it happened easily. That's why it was able to happen. Anything that's hard, I just give up on.

So it's not like any of these events were hard to obtain.

So right now it's boring and nothing is happening,

which is good, I guess, because I don't need to pay my debts.

But you know, you never know in life. The universe is gonna throw something else at you. Another woman.

I started talking to this girl at Tesco today.

She seemed interested in my Tesla. We started talking about vapes for some reason.

She was saying her vapes only last a few days, and I said, oh wow, you must vape a lot. And I said, my vape lasts a month. I got a Lost Mary. And she was like, wow.

I felt like the conversation went pretty well.

At least you still have your hair. Yeah, I plucked out 2 white hairs today.

Was she serial material? Yeah, she was cute. I'd date her.

Hair looks a little bit greasy.

Dye my hair black? What, to hide the couple of white hairs? It's easy to pluck out.

The main thing I notice with aging is I have more facial hair. I now get hair here, like it's linking the mustache and the beard, and I'll get a little patch of hair here which I never used to. And here.

When I was in my 20s, I had such little facial hair, I could— I didn't need to shave. I just plucked out the chin hairs. It was just like a little patch here, and then the patch got bigger and bigger and bigger, and now my whole chin gets hairy.

So I get slightly more facial hair, I guess.

Someone, some random person said to me a couple days ago, you're too young to be driving a Tesla. I was like, I'm 37. And he was like, no, you're not. And I was like, yes, I am. And I thought, if he thinks that, does everyone else think that? Is that why I keep getting scolded? Because they think

I'm like a kid?

Maybe it looks weird seeing a guy like me driving a car like this. Usually people driving Teslas are like 50-year-old middle-aged people.

37, still getting scolded like a kid. That's why people get mad at me when I park in the child-parent spaces, because they just automatically assume he's too young to have kids. How do you know? What if my kids and wife are in the store?

Just being rude to me without knowing the facts.

I want to say, hey, you're being kind of rude. How do you know my wife and kids aren't in the store? Before you start being rude to me. And they'll be like, well, do you have wife and kids in the store? That's not the point. Why did you just assume that I don't have wife and kids in

the store?

Are you being racist

saying I, I can't get a wife and kids?

What if they wait for your wife and kids? Well, they're going to be waiting for a very long time. I'll be like, yeah, my wife and kids are in the store, bitch. And then she'll be like, oh yeah, where are they then? Uh, they're in the store like I just said, idiot.

Yeah, next time someone gives me shit, I'm gonna say that.

Just assuming I don't have wives, kids. How dare you?

Technically, I've had 3 wives because 2 of my exes wanted to get married.

And one of them did marry me.

Do you plan on having kids? Yeah, by the time I'm 40, I want 3 kids,

2 wives, house.

I have this problem, not sure how to explain it.

Um, so I have a friend here and he's a man,

but he thinks my name is Jason.

The reason why I told him my name is Jason is because I was worried my ex was going to move in with me, and if he saw us and said, hey Daniel, in front of us, she'd be like, why is he calling you Daniel? So I told him my name is Jason.

Now I don't know how to tell him my name's not Jason.

So now if I meet a new girl, I gotta keep telling them my name's Jason.

Because if— I mean, now it's like the reverse problem, because if I be honest and I'm like, I'm Daniel, to new girls, and then my guy friend sees, sees us and goes, hey Jason, she'll be like, why is he calling you Jason? Daniel. So now I'm fucked.

Why do you— because why do you need to tell him? Because I wanted to stop telling girls my name's Jason,

but now I'm like forced to continue calling myself Jason.

So I told the Indian man that my name's Daniel.

So the Indian man asked me to take his wife to work, and he said, what's your name? And I just instinctively said Daniel. So now he thinks I'm called Daniel, but my friend thinks I'm called Jason.

It's so fucking annoying.

It's so stupid, it's funny.

I guess my only explanation is, yeah, my name's Daniel, but I like to go by Jason because it sounds cooler.

Daniel Dayson Lord.

I hate that humans have to have names. Animals don't have names.

I mean, they only have names because we give them names. Otherwise they wouldn't have a name.

And then, uh, I signed up to a gym, but I said my name's James.

I don't know why I put my name down as James.

So now I've got 3 names.

I'm Daniel, Jason, and James.

Oh God,

so now the people at the gym are gonna be like, hey James.

Oh,

I'm so fucked.

So now I'm thinking I can't get a house. In this town because

half the people know me as Jason, the other half know me Daniel, and then the gym knows me as James.

So I need to get a house that's not in the town.

Oh God, it's such a mess. Maybe I should just run away to Wales and start fresh. Uh, I just keep digging myself deeper into this name hole.

Triple identity now.

I'm fucked.

What name are you gonna tell dates? Daniel.

The problem is if I exchange phone numbers with them,

my, my account that's linked to my phone number says Jason.

So now I need to get a new— I need a new phone, I need new SIM card. That's separate to my current SIM card.

Maybe I get a new iPhone then.

So I'm Jason to my friend, I'm Daniel to Indian guy, James to the gym, and then Daniel to future dates on my 5th SIM card on my 4th phone.

Oh God.

IPhone 18 burgundy looks pretty cool, I'm not gonna lie.

When am I going back to Japan? Never.

Never going to Japan again.

Can I bring my Tesla if I go? I have my Tesla shipped to Japan.

Did I ever adopt a Japanese name? No, I was Daniel. Daniel.

And then the Korean people called me Daniel

or Danny Chan.

Japanese people used to laugh because Danny also means tick, like the insect in Japanese.

Oh God.

You were called a leech in the

Japan days. Yeah, remember when I got— it was annoying because I was making good money and then for some reason people thought I was leeching.

I really fucked myself with the whole Jason thing.

So stupid.

Really wish I didn't do that.

Uh, actually, I paid £60 to get my name changed. I got the deed poll thing, but it took so long to arrive in the post, but I don't even know if it ever ever arrived because I moved out of the house.

I was gonna legally change it to Jason so I'd have ID that says Jason on it,

but that's pointless now because if you Google Jason Lord, all the stupid stuff shows up.

My biggest mistake was telling you guys what my fake name is.

Shouldn't have said it.

Well,

everything's fine right now, but just thinking, if I do get caught out, I need to be quick with my explanation.

Maybe I'll change my last name to Lloyd. I'll be James Lloyd.

My explanation is just, yeah, Daniel's my first name, Jason's my middle one. I like to go by Jason.

It's reasonable.

If they say why, I'll just say, I don't know, just prefer Jason. Sounds cooler. Daniel sounds like a dork.

Why don't I want to be me anymore? Because no one likes me when I'm me. People only like me when I'm the nice version of me.

When I'm the unfiltered version of me, no one likes me.

I've realized that over time and adapted.

To survive and fit in.

I haven't seen your nice side yet. Yeah, well, I wasn't going to brag about it, but actually I found a notebook in the car park and it had a phone number inside, and I messaged the number saying I found your notebook. And I've handed it into the staff and they said thank you.

I went out my way to make sure that person got their notebook back and I got no reward. It wasn't for content or for sex. I just saw a notebook,

felt a little bit nosy.

And thought, well, I've picked it up now, I might as well send them a message saying I found it.

Handed it into staff and I said, I've let the owner know that it's here. They said they'll put it in the safe. Don't know if they ever bothered. I mean, it was just a notebook with some notes in it. It was like driving stuff. I thought maybe the driving instructor, but the person who replied to me said,

um, my husband meets his biker associate there. It had like driving commentary.

Is there something you like to do that won't detract from your goal? Yeah, I want to meet people. I want to go to some kind of social event, meet people.

I think there's girls out there who like me. I just need to meet them in a casual setting.

You know, there's like hundreds of girls out there just working boring jobs at Tesco's or whatever.

Who would probably want to have sex with me,

and they're just there, and you would never know it because they don't know you exist, really.

Um, the best way is through work and interacting with people and seeing the same people regularly,

and maybe one of them will show an interest. It's all about networking, really.

It's how most people meet their partners. They go to an event, they get invited to a place by

a friend, a venue, co-workers. That's like the most natural way people meet people. All this online dating and going to clubs or bars is like artificial.

And it's— it only works if you know what you're doing or you got some kind of, like, you're good at it.

Yeah, it is a problem though if you do date them and then things turn out bad. You're going to end up seeing them again, aren't you, after breaking up? The good thing with my breakups is that I'm never going to see them again because they live so far away.

I've never dated someone where I live or work.

Imagine how shit it would be if you break up with someone, then you like see them on a daily basis, or you live in the same town.

Because then eventually they're going to get a new guy, and then you're going to see them with the new guy, just, I don't know, at Tesco or something.

Your relationships are lasting shorter and

shorter. 2 years and then

Sunny Words.

What— when did that begin? We first met in March, I

think. It ended in March the next year, so that was like a year, I guess. And then the recent one was 9 months.

The longest—

wasn't it faster?

2022 October until like March 2024. It's not even 2— yeah, probably Chihiro is the longest then because I met her in 2017 October. Ended 2020 January, so that was just over 2 years.

Uh, I don't know,

I'm just trying not to worry about girls right now. I'm just trying to focus on the deck.

Why did the last one left you? Um, I said something stupid about her dog.

Yeah, her dog was, um, gonna be put down.

And then on the day it was gonna be put down, I sent a message saying, is today the day your dog's being put down? I'm sorry for your loss. And I didn't realize that would— that's a bad thing to say.

When I sent it, I thought that's a perfectly fine thing to say.

I didn't know what else to say.

I thought about it all day, like, what am I gonna say? And then that's the best I could come up with.

I mean, to be honest, I still don't really see what's wrong with it.

I just said, is today the day?

And then I said, I'm sorry for your loss.

And then she dumped me because of that.

And then I tried apologizing afterwards, but it was too late. Too little, too late.

There's got to be more you're hiding.

Um, I think nearing the end, I wasn't showing a lot of compassion.

Yeah, built up resentment.

I just didn't know what else to say, really. I knew I had to say something.

Did she say what you should have said? No, she said, um, I don't want to have to teach you how to be a caring person. Listen.

Maybe what I should have said was something

like— I should have just said something like, I know today's gonna be really hard for you. I'm here if you want to talk.

Something like that.

The biggest blunder was the is today the day bit, I guess.

It's just such an annoying fuck-up because it's just one sentence. That I could have easily said anything else that would have been better than that.

I'm so clumsy when it comes to stuff like this. It's like that other guy who told me he had brain cancer, and I was like, oh, is it cured then? And he was like, no, it's brain cancer. And I was like, fuck.

So what I learned is that I am really bad in those situations. I need to be really careful with what I say

next time.

Probably should ask other people's opinions before saying anything, because any normal person would tell me, don't say that.

I could have asked my sister what she thought, and she would have said, don't say that.

You need to learn canned responses. Yeah,

yeah, I listen to Radio 5 Live a lot.

They always say the same thing if a caller says they're going through something hard. They're always like, first of all, I'm so sorry you're going through this, it must be so hard. That's all you gotta say. It's safe, it's short, you're not gonna upset anyone saying that.

Seemed like you didn't know her dog was going to be put under that day. Now, I knew it was gonna happen that day.

Which makes me confused why I asked if it was the day when I knew it was the day.

I was so annoyed with myself.

It's like, fucking hell, how could I be so stupid?

But you know, I realize now this is something really dangerous

that I'm really not good at.

And, um, people always have stuff like this going on.

I just— I didn't think

it would be a reason to get dumped over,

but now I know.

The problem is my brain operates in a very different way to most normal people,

and I can't rely on

how I would feel if it was the other way around.

Because I mean, I would never dump someone if they said that to me, but I, I can't use my own feelings as like a way of judging how other people are gonna take things because I'm not normal.

So I can't trust my own judgment.

What I've learned is don't ask questions. Don't ask, what are you gonna do about it? How are you gonna fix it? That makes it really worse.

Just say,

I'm here for you, and I'm sorry you're going through this. I think that's all you need to say, really. I mean, it's not hard. It's actually very simple.

But I really don't want to ever have this problem again.

It just sucks I had to learn this lesson in a very hard, painful way,

and I wish I learned it earlier. I can't believe, 37 years old, it took me this long to learn something so basic.

That

your words can upset people,

and you really have to think before you speak.

What you did say came from a good place. Yeah, I told my therapist about it and she said, um,

you cared enough to talk, to ask about it, but the way you phrased it was really bad.

It wasn't like you were trying to be hurtful on purpose. And I was like, yeah,

but it's like if you accidentally punch someone in the face and you didn't mean to, they still got punched in the face and it hurt them.

So it's not like you can say, oh, I didn't mean it. You still did something that caused damage.

Yeah, my therapist says she doesn't think I'm a sociopath.

She said if you actually didn't care, you wouldn't be doing therapy concerned about it.

And she said, you grew up in a household that didn't have a lot of emotional support,

so obviously it doesn't come natural to you.

It was just, I don't know, autistic retardation.

Probably gonna go down as one of my biggest blunders in life. Top 3 blunders that I'll never forget,

along with not doing my taxes properly.

Sabrina turned out fine.

Um, yeah, but she, she didn't have the same childhood that I had. Yeah, we had the same parents and grew up in the same household, but

maybe we were treated differently because she's a girl and I'm a boy. Like, my dad was always way more affectionate to my sister than he was to me, because, you know, dads are usually more affectionate to their daughters,

like more protective and stuff.

Yeah, my top 3 biggest blunders: the tax thing, the dog message, and probably— what else?

All the dumb shit I've said on live streams, I guess.

Also, I think, I think women can get away with a lot more in relationships than what a guy can get away

with. Like, I mean, no guy is ever gonna dump a girl over what I got dumped over.

Now, women always— they always want a guy who has emotional intelligence.

What man ever sits there going, oh, my dream girl will have emotional Emotional intelligence. Guys don't give a fuck.

Like, I, I wouldn't give a shit, really.

Like, if my cat died and you were like, oh, it's today, did your cat die today? I'd be like, yeah, it sucks. I wouldn't be like, oh, it's over.

But I don't know, like, what am I— who am I to say anything? Because I'm a fucking moron, aren't I?

I think the statistics say the majority of breakups are initiated by the woman.

How did you handle the passing of your cat? Yeah, I, I followed up with, I know how painful it is to lose a pet. I've, I've had 4 house cat family cats that passed. And then she just said, and yet you still sent that message.

Sorry, I didn't really know what else to say.

I had— I've just never been dumped because of that before, so I never even thought that could be a reason to be dumped for.

But prior to that, I probably said a bunch of other things that were insensitive that I just didn't realize,

because I can be quite blunt and insensitive sometimes.

But if it wasn't for that blunder, there would have been another blunder about something else at some point.

What did your therapist say? She said, she said, don't worry about it. There's plenty of people out there who will accept you for how you are,

who don't require such a high level of empathy. There's plenty of women out there who that wouldn't be a deal-breaker for them. And she, she just kept saying, focus on those people.

But at the time, that's not really what I wanted to hear.

So another spot. Oh no, it's a bit of skin.

Why don't you search for someone like you?

How? It's very rare and uncommon. Most women are quite sensitive.

I mean, it does kind of, um, shine a torch on my main issue though, which is

I do have trouble with—

I do have trouble putting myself in other people's shoes. When they are facing tragedy. That is a big character flaw that I have.

Like, when I hear the radio, all these people calling in complaining about how hard life is because cost of fuel has gone up, I don't automatically think, oh, those poor people. It must be so hot. I think, haha, should have bought an EV then, sucker.

My charging rates are exactly the same whilst your petrol price is going up.

People don't like that.

You have to be like, oh, it must be so hard for those who can't afford an EV.

I mean, people driving around these big gas-guzzling Land Rovers and Land Rangers, big fucking massive Land Ranger Defender. Why do they need such a big fucking car?

Why, why are they so big? Fucking Range Rover blocking the whole view in front of me, bigger than a van.

Why, why do you possibly need such a big fucking car?

Land Rangers have terrible miles per gallon.

I hate them, they're so ugly.

Ugliest car on the road? Range Rovers and Land Rovers, whatever the fuck they're called.

It looks like a massive box on wheels, no curves.

And they always seem to drive really slow as well.

So this is a side of me that I need to put more effort into masking because I don't, I don't think I can naturally become it.

I, I don't like it when people complain about how hard life is. It annoys me.

Like, people who phone into the radio are bitching and whining about cost of living. Yeah.

Now, oh no, I had to cut down on the number of donuts I can afford when there's literally millions of people in poor countries getting bombed and starving, and then you're whining because you can't afford a pack of donuts anymore. Shut the fuck up.

Or you can't afford to ride around in your stupid fucking Land Rover. People getting drone bombed and missile strikes, and then you're whining about stupid fucking cost of living.

I mean, they're whining about not being able to afford luxuries.

Their life isn't in danger.

But that's not a good look. It's not empathetic.

I feel like people in this country got so soft. My grandparents, they they were getting bombed in the Blitz and all they had for food were like carrots and potatoes.

Like, my grandmother would have cooked a chicken for soup and then my dad and his brothers would eat that soup until every bit of meat was stripped from that chicken carcass.

And people nowadays like, oh, I can't afford to get takeout anymore. Boo-hoo.

Yeah, life's hard, but

whoever said it was gonna be easy?

All species on this planet have to fight for survival. It's how it's designed.

Yeah, it sucks. Would be great if life was easy and great for everyone, but unfortunately

Don't hear me complaining about it.

I'll just get on with it.

You complain all the time.

Um, no, never.

But I mean, yeah, I guess you could say I have had an easy life.

I, I have never lived in poverty.

I don't know, I mean, I am living in my car,

and I have lived in some shit places like guest houses.

But not because I had to.

It was my choice.

Always had my parents' house to go back to.

You ever seen a homeless man living in a Tesla?

When did I speak to Cami last? Today. She said, how are you doing? I said, I'm doing fine. She said she's worried about me living in the car.

She's probably feeling guilty that I'm living in the car to pay her back. She keeps insisting, you can pay me back slowly, and I keep insisting, no, I want to pay you back as quickly as I can.

Otherwise, I'm never gonna pay you back. It's just never gonna happen. So I'm either all in, I'm all out.

And now I feel kind of bad for making her worried.

But I also would feel bad if I don't pay the money back.

So 2 more months, hopefully,

and then I don't know if I'm gonna go back home or get myself a house here.

No, I'm not trying to punish her. I'm just This is how I've figured out

how I can pay back the debt as quickly as possible.

Holy shit, it's nearly 1 o'clock. I better go to sleep. Fuck, that's why I hate streaming, because it always ends up going so long and late.

Uh, I'm gonna feel rough in the morning because I usually wake up at 7. That means I'm only gonna get 6 hours sleep.

There you go.