Live Mukbang - Noodles

Welcome to the live mukbang show.

Stupid mukbangs.

Can't even get views doing a mukbang or

mukbang illustrative video.

Fucking hell.

Bloody 6K views in fucking 14 hours.

Pathetic.

Oh, Conshon, thank you very much.

How's life been?

Oh, life's been boring and shit as usual.

I'm sorry, but I'm not in a good mood.

Not in a good mood.

Haven't done a stream for a while because

I haven't been in a good mood.

Thought might as well do a stream since

don't have anything else to do.

Hello everyone, long time no see.

I thought you didn't like mukbang.

I don't like mukbang, but just because I

don't like something doesn't mean I can't

do it.

I don't like fat old women either, but

I've done quite a few.

You're pronouncing it wrong.

I'm not pronouncing it wrong.

I'm pronouncing it how English people

pronounce it.

I don't care if Korean people pronounce it

differently.

I'm not speaking Korean, I'm speaking

English.

I'm not a Korean person, so why would I

pronounce it like a Korean person does?

So I spent last night all by myself

because my wife went to an onsen with her

family.

That was a bit weird.

Coffee is horrible, by the way.

I was drinking Blendy Stick.

Who remembers my Blendy Stick when I was

at the Airbnb?

That was good coffee.

So I thought I'd buy more instant coffee,

so I decided to go for Nescafé.

Tastes so watery and diluted.

Maybe I should put a second one in.

Maybe I put too much water.

So basically,

I've been all alone yesterday

and she hasn't come back yet.

I'm not sure about what time she's coming

back.

Let me try this coffee first.

It tastes like shit.

It just tastes like sugary water.

This coffee is horrible.

There's hardly any coffee taste.

It's just like sugar water.

I like the Blendy coffee— Blendy Stick

instant coffee.

So here we have Italian tomato cup noodle.

I thought it was quite interesting.

You don't usually see this kind of flavor

in Japan.

Was it true what you said on the

ex-girlfriend's video about Chihiro being

the best sex you've had?

No, I was only saying it for a joke.

Wow, look at this.

Smells tomatoey.

My channel's really dying.

I can't even get more than 100 people on a

livestream.

I can't believe it.

Back in the day, I'd have at least 500

people on a stream, even if it was just a

boring stream where nothing was happening.

I'd have at least 500 people.

Ouch.

And then my last video only got 6K views.

I can't believe it.

Even my GoPro video, even my Apex Legends

video got more views than that one did.

And I put so much work into it, doing all

the drawings, doing the voiceover, coming

up with things to say.

So disappointing.

I guess I'll just go back to doing stupid

rants in front of a mirror if

that's what people want to see.

I feel like ever since I got back to

Japan, got back with my wife, the views

just have gone down so much.

I, I was getting really good views when I

first got back.

The Osaka Castle, 37K.

Getting back with my wife video, 40K.

Airbnb first day in Japan,

40K.

Moving back in with my wife, 37K.

And then after that, I can't even get more

than 20K now.

Last 2 videos, the last one got 15K, last

one didn't even get 6K

because people are realizing how much of a

jerk you really are.

Fuck you, Franny.

Go fuck yourself, stupid bitch.

Hey, I know really how much jerk you are.

Fuck you.

Give a shit if people think I'm a jerk or

not.

Go fuck yourself, Branny.

Calling me a jerk.

It's rich coming from someone calling

someone a jerk.

You're more— who's more the jerk, the

person calling other people a jerk or the

jerk?

Look in the mirror as if you're such an

angel.

Oh, look at me, I'm Franny, I'm such a

great person myself, I'm Mrs.

Perfect Goody Two-Shoes, I do no wrong.

Fuck off.

Irritating.

Oh, I'm so perfect I can call other people

jerks.

Don't trigger me, guys.

I'm not in a good mood.

Everyone who watched the illustrated

stuff, they said they liked it.

It got good feedback, got a good response,

but people just didn't click it.

They weren't interested.

The ones who did click it, they liked it

and they said nice things.

It just goes to show that even if you do

put effort and time in something, doesn't

mean it's gonna do well.

It just makes me feel like, why bother

putting all that effort and time when

videos when I'm just ranting in front of a

mirror do 10 times better.

So I don't really feel motivated to do

drawing stuff anymore.

Maybe the topic just wasn't interesting.

Mukbangs, I guess people aren't interested

in mukbangs.

But that doesn't make sense because

millions of people are interested in it.

It's not interested when I do it.

But how come every time, every time I try

to do something, no one cares?

Everyone else doing mukbang getting great

views.

When I do it, I get shit views.

It just makes me feel like, what's the

point of trying if no one cares?

So I was thinking maybe in a parallel

world where

my wife's family didn't hate me, I could

have gone with them yesterday.

Would have been like a nice family outing.

But then I started to think maybe it's

best if that didn't happen.

Can you imagine how awkward it would be?

You know when you go into onsen, the women

go into the women's bit and the men split

off into the men's bit?

I would have to go into the men's bit with

my wife's sister's husband who's a

policeman.

Can you imagine me and a Japanese

policeman getting naked to go into a hot

spring?

Oh, thank you, Kanshan.

Do I support Shinzo Abe?

I don't support anyone.

I think they're all stupid.

Can you imagine me and a Japanese

policeman sitting in an onsen naked?

What would we even talk about?

It'd be so awkward.

So what's it like being a policeman?

Have you ever been stabbed?

Did you ever kill anyone?

Oh, that reminds me, I had a dream where I

called the police.

Oh yeah, it was a really weird dream.

This guy,

crazy guy, came over to my house and there

were about 20 kids with him and they were

banging on the door.

And then I called the police and the

policeman had a fight with him and they

completely wrecked the oil tanker.

I don't know what that dream was about.

Didn't make any sense.

The stupidest dream I ever had.

Maybe it's for the best that her family

don't know that we're back together,

because I don't really— I don't know.

I talked about how I wanted a Japanese

family, and I wanted to be accepted.

But they know everything.

They know about

how I left my wife and I tried sleeping

with other women.

They probably hate me.

They probably want us to get divorced.

My wife hasn't even told them that we're

back together.

I don't know, I kept thinking

how great it might have been if I met her

family and they liked me and I was

involved in family activities

and I could have gone along with them.

It's just so weird, isn't it?

I'm her husband and her family haven't

even met me yet, and we've been married

for over a year now,

and they probably don't like me.

Yeah, I don't like them either.

Fuck them.

I walked around for hours and hours

yesterday.

I went to the river.

I walked around the river.

If you cheat on her, I guarantee you'll

get plenty of views.

I already cheated on her.

I can't cheat on her again.

Well, not publicly.

I don't even think it would get views

anymore.

People aren't even surprised now.

About cheating.

Usually in most YouTube relationships, if

there's a cheating thing that goes on,

everyone's so shocked and surprised they

can't believe it.

Now people just kind of expect it when it

comes to me.

I've done pretty much everything now for

content, you know.

There's cheating, there's divorce, there's

marriage, there's funerals— my dad dying,

my cat dying.

I don't even know what else I could do.

Pregnancy, maybe?

Get her pregnant?

Yeah, but the expenses for having a child

would be way more than the views I'd get

for it.

I don't even think I'd get more than 40K

views now.

My channel is fucked.

I don't really know what to do when it

comes to content.

I don't know what people want to see.

My life's pretty boring right now, not

much going on.

I've just kind of, you know, settled back

down.

And pretty boring right now, not much

interesting happening.

I think I could have made a video where I

just sat there staring at the wall and it

would have gotten more views than my

recent one.

And that took me days.

I spent days and days and days doing the

drawings and doing the voiceover.

I'm so disappointed.

It's like people only care when I'm

talking about my dick or girls or STDs or

nudes, and then I try and make something

else and it gets shit views.

It's so demoralizing because,

you know, I do kind of want to become a

better person.

I want to mature as a person.

I want to make different stuff, but it's

like that, that doesn't get views.

I get views when I'm acting like a

complete piece of shit and I'm badmouthing

people.

That's when I get my most views.

So either make content where I'm hated but

get views, or make content where I seem

like a normal person but then don't get

views.

So I don't know what to do.

I've got a new video I'm gonna upload

tonight.

I've made several videos in advance.

For rainy days.

I don't know if it will do well.

I just— I don't have— I lost my confidence

now.

Oh, thank you, Ray.

Long time no see.

Yeah, I want to start doing more streams

where I'm just eating

and moaning.

Oh, thank you, Asar Morris.

Oh, it's so slimy, I can't grip it.

I can't open it.

Ben Dean just uploaded a new video.

Guess what it's about?

He's eating a pizza again.

Already has more views than my one does.

And it's only been an hour.

Oh, you open it this way.

Why can't they make it more clear?

This is a very Japanese meal.

I have a tomato ramen and sushi.

Where are my chopsticks?

I don't need

chopsticks.

Sushi.

Where's my wife?

I don't know where she is, actually.

New Evangelion.

Netflix.

Me and my wife were watching it, the old

one,

a few days ago.

Oh no, I dropped it.

I don't know where she is.

I'm not sure if she went straight to work

or if she's still with her family.

I don't like these ginger things, they

taste horrible.

Oh, oh, it's like eating soap.

It's slightly sweet, but it's also weirdly

metallic in flavor.

Do I still play Breath of the Wild?

No, I finished it and I, I sold my Switch

to some half-Japanese girl in England.

Why did I sell it?

Because I don't like Nintendo games and I

don't like the Switch.

The iPad Pro is a superior gaming device.

The screen's bigger, it's more relaxing to

use.

There's good games on this, on the iPad

Pro as well.

Do I still play Rainbow Six?

No, I don't play it much now.

I got a bit bored with it.

Because I got addicted to this other game

called Darkest Dungeon, but now I'm bored

with that as well, so I don't have

anything to play now.

I'm full.

I think if you want a gaming device,

portable one, get an iPad Pro.

So much better.

It's just really nice having a big screen.

It's nice having a big screen and you can

do other things on it.

It's not just for gaming.

The Switch has a tiny little screen and I

don't like Nintendo games and the games

are so expensive on it.

They're like £60.

£60 for a brand new game on the Switch.

It's a rip-off.

£60 for a game.

Oh, Black Retty, thank you very much.

Are you keeping this livestream up?

I'm trying to kickstart my channel.

Thought it'd be cool to do a video on you.

Don't worry, not a bad one.

I think you would like it.

I'm not sure.

I told that person Franny to fuck off.

I might want to take that down.

People might not like it if they hear me

tell people to telling people to fuck off.

That stupid Franny person called me a

jerk.

She started it.

If people call me a jerk, why am I not

allowed to tell them to fuck off?

Call me names, I'll call you names.

Who do you think you are?

People think just because I'm a YouTuber I

have to lick their assholes and pander to

them, and they can say anything they want

to me Without me saying anything back to

them.

Fuck off.

I'm not licking your asshole, okay?

You call me a jerk, I'll tell you where to

stick it.

Sounds fair.

People say I'm, I'm not nice, I'm a dick.

It's called being normal.

If someone's rude to you, you be rude back

to them.

When you're like Ben Dean and you're not

rude to anyone, that's not normal.

That's called being a fake

pandering knobhead.

I love everyone.

Love you guys.

Fuck off.

So stupid.

I ruined my last sushi.

Look at that.

The structural integrity of it is

Collapsed.

People calling me names, I'm going to call

them names back.

It's not called being rude, it's called

being normal.

I hate mukbangs, but I like eating.

No, I hate it when other people do

mukbangs.

I— it's okay if I'm doing a mukbang.

If people are nice to me, I'll be nice

back.

I'm not rude to people who are nice to me.

I'm not rude to everyone.

That's not called being a jerk, it's just

common sense.

I don't hate mukbang, I hate the fact that

other people get millions of views and I

don't.

What's wrong with my mukbang?

Look, I had a delicious meal.

Look.

You can see me eating.

What's the difference?

Why does Ben Dean get more views than my

mukbangs?

Oh, I'm so sorry I'm not as good-looking

as Ben Dean.

So sorry I don't look so trendy like he

does.

Not like I can help it.

All you do is complain.

It's because my life is shit.

And all I have is complaints.

Maybe I wouldn't complain if I was getting

100K views just for eating a pizza.

Oh, thank you, Wyatt.

Redo the sex stories you deleted, but

they'll get demonetized.

Uh, I'm just very bored recently.

I don't know what to do.

I've got to go to immigration to get my

tourist stay extended.

To 3 months to 6 months.

They stamped my passport until September,

and I was freaking out last night.

I was thinking, wait, I only have July and

then September.

It said September the 4th I have to leave,

and it's already July.

And I was thinking, oh, it's already July,

I only have July and then September.

And I completely forgot about August.

August is in between July and September.

So stupid.

In Japanese, it's easy to count the months

because it's just— it's literally the

number and then month.

Ichigatsu, nigatsu, sangatsu.

It's just 1, 2, 3, and then month

afterwards.

In English, we have these stupid names for

the months.

August, September.

I don't remember if August comes before

September sometimes.

Sometimes I forget if October goes before

September.

Such an irritating system.

So yeah, I've got all of July, all of

August.

How did I do it last time?

I did it pretty last minute, didn't I?

Last time, 2017, I went to immigration.

That was when that Canadian guy recognized

me.

Hopefully they'll extend my stay to 6

months again.

My wife hasn't said anything about

renewing the spouse visa yet, which is a

bit weird.

It's like she doesn't want to give me the

spouse visa.

Maybe she thinks I'm gonna run away after

I get the spouse visa.

I would never do that.

Or would I?

Can you imagine how funny that would be if

I get the spouse visa and the next day I

just vanish?

That would be pretty funny.

How's my sister doing?

She messaged me a lot yesterday.

She was talking about civilizations and

how the Amazon jungle was actually

man-made by some ancient civilization.

And then she was talking about—

it's kind of complicated— she's talking

about how all civilizations get so

advanced they reach this point where they

wipe themselves out, and then civilization

has to start again from zero, and then

eventually reaches a point where it's so

advanced again and then wipes itself out

again.

And then she was telling me about how

Brian Cox, some scientist in England, was

talking about about how this happens all

across the universe.

Life evolves to a point where it's so

intelligent that it's just like continuing

continuously,

getting so advanced and then wiping itself

out and starting from zero again.

And that eventually us humans are going to

reach that point as well where we wipe

ourselves out and then some other life

form will start from zero and then the

same thing will just happen over and over

again.

It's kind of depressing, isn't it,

thinking like that?

Maybe the reason why there's no super

advanced aliens in the universe is because

every time a civilization that's as

intelligent as we are, they get too

intelligent, they end up wiping themselves

out.

And then she was telling me about this guy

who used to work at Area 51.

I don't know

what to say to those things.

I don't really know much about science.

I get the feeling this is the kind of

stuff she was talking to my dad about.

Now my dad's gone, she doesn't really have

anyone to talk about.

She was telling me about how her new

boyfriend has absolutely no interest about

stuff like science, civilizations,

conspiracy stuff.

And that he's kind of depressed and

doesn't really do anything apart from

watching TV.

Sounds a bit like me.

Oh, like Retty, thank you.

Have I ever thought of making a podcast?

Not really.

I guess this is kind of like a podcast.

My mum was telling me to make babies.

She said, I'm getting old, you need to

make children.

I said, why?

She said, so you're not alone when you're

old.

And I said, well, you had children, now

you're alone and you're old.

I'm in Japan, my sister's in London, my

dad's dead.

It just seems like even if you do get

married and you have kids You're still

going to end up alone unless you die first

or your kids stay with you forever.

I guess my wife's mom

isn't alone.

She lives in the same building with my

wife's sister, and they're in each other's

lives all the time.

Such a cruel thing to say to your mom.

Yeah, now that I think about it, it did

sound pretty cruel.

I wasn't saying it to be cruel.

I was just being negative.

She's not completely alone, at least.

We still see each other now and then.

We can talk to each other.

I kept thinking, even if I had kids,

maybe, yeah, I'd be,

I'd be with the family, with the kids, for

about 20 years until they grow up.

And then they'll leave the nest, and I

probably won't ever see them again.

And then I'll still be some 60 or

70-year-old man all alone,

but I'll have kids somewhere in the world.

We all die alone, don't we?

Well, my dad didn't.

He died surrounded by his family and loved

ones.

Does it really make a difference when

you're dying?

When you're dying, you're dying.

I suppose it was comforting for him to see

us.

Maybe having kids would make me happy.

It would give me a sense of purpose.

Maybe it would make me motivated to work

harder, to make money,

to become reliable.

Maybe the reason I'm so unmotivated and

I'm so lazy is because I don't have a

reason to not be lazy.

If I had a reason, like having kids, to

get money in, to bring food in, to make

sure they're provided for, then maybe I'd

not be lazy.

Who knows?

Sometimes I think having kids might be

nice.

I don't know, it's hard to

imagine how having kids would be like.

I'm thinking it's kind of like having a

pet,

but they grow up and turn into people.

I think quite a lot of people like that.

They have kids because they don't know

what else to do with their lives.

Then it made me think that, is that all

there is to life?

It's all life about just Making kids and

then you die.

That's what life is for 99% of all living

creatures.

Reproduce and then you die.

Isn't that the whole point of life?

To make more life?

The only reason we're alive is so we can

make babies, so we can continue our

species.

What other reason is there?

Some insects, they're only alive for about

2 hours.

They mate and then they die.

You trying to be more motivated?

What else do you want?

Well, I want

some kind of feeling of fulfillment, I

guess.

I want to feel proud.

Of something.

I

want to find something that I enjoy doing.

I don't enjoy doing anything.

I don't even enjoy, enjoy making videos

now.

It's just kind of boring.

And then when I try and do something

different, then it gets no views.

I had lots of meaningless sex, that got

boring.

I played Rainbow Six, that got boring.

Everything gets boring.

How can there be people that never get

bored of anything?

I was thinking about getting an electric

scooter, that might be fun, but then I'll

just get bored of it the next day.

I also want to get an Airbnb gun because

there are these stupid crows that sit on

the top of buildings around my building.

They just sit there making sounds and I

want to shoot them in the face with a BB

gun.

If I get one of those Airbnb rifles with a

scope, that'd be fun.

That'd be so much fun actually.

How much would that cost?

It wouldn't hurt them.

It's just a little Airbnb pellet.

It'll just bounce off them and make them

go away.

I'm not talking about getting a proper

rifle and then exploding their heads.

Calm down, people.

Why are you all so murderous?

It'd be pretty cool sitting on my balcony,

perched there, sniping crows off of the

roofs.

Sounds like fun.

I used to have a friend called Jay, and he

lived on a farm when I was a kid, and his

dad had air guns.

Is it air gun?

No, an air rifle.

And they could actually kill rabbits and

pigeons, and we used to set up targets in

his farm on his barn,

and we used to shoot tin cans, and his dad

took us rabbit hunting.

He didn't let us shoot the rabbits though,

he did shooting.

Ah, my childhood was so good.

My life is just so meaningless and shit

now compared to my childhood.

When I was a child, I had friends, I had

family, I, I did these activities.

I went shooting air rifles.

I went skateboarding and BMXing.

I had a life.

That's, that's the main difference.

When I was a kid, I had a life.

Now I have nothing

and life is boring.

Maybe I need friends.

Do you think getting friends would really

fix everything?

I thought you were bullied.

I was bullied, but I had 2 friends.

I had Jay and I had Rob, and then later on

I had Oliver Jones,

OJ.

I miss OJ.

He had big ears.

I tried finding him on Facebook, but I

couldn't.

The problem is YouTube ruins everything.

So even when it comes to

making friends, all I'm thinking about is,

yeah, maybe I should try and make a friend

and I can make a video about it.

Everything I do revolves around, oh, maybe

I can make a video about it.

It's so annoying.

I can't remember the last time I did

anything not because I wanted to make a

video about it.

It's like my whole life is controlled by

YouTube now.

I always say stuff like, oh, I'm free, I

can do whatever I want thanks to YouTube,

but really the reality is I'm completely

controlled by YouTube.

Even the kind of content I make It all

comes down to if I think it'll get views

or not.

Why do I keep making negative videos?

Why do I keep making videos about sex and

complaining about people?

It's because that's what gets views.

If I could make videos where I'm talking

about things I genuinely love,

or things I'm actually interested in, or

things I want to do, then that'd be so

good, but it won't get views.

And unfortunately, I don't have the luxury

of having a proper main job.

If I had a main job and I was just doing

YouTube on the side, then yeah, I wouldn't

really care.

I'd just make whatever.

You'll get views if you put in effort.

No, I won't.

I've tried and tested this so many times.

I put in so much effort into my drawing

videos and they don't get views.

It's just kind of— it's kind of reaffirmed

in my mind that the more effort you put in

does not get you more views.

I like doing the drawing videos because

it's fun doing the drawings,

but it does take a lot of time and it

takes a lot of effort, and it's just

really demoralizing when you put in so

much time and effort and you don't get

good views off it.

At 90K subs, does YouTube provide you

enough income to live off?

I'm making,

um, I'm making nearly 4 times the amount

of money that I actually need to survive.

So yeah, it's, it's doing pretty well,

but my living expenses are pretty low

since I live in a cheap area in Japan.

I split my bills with my wife.

I don't really go out.

I don't have a social life.

I don't eat a lot of food.

I think I spend maybe $200 a month on

food.

So I have very low living expenses.

My rent is insanely low,

so I can get away with not, not making a

huge amount of money and still being able

to live comfortably, comfortably.

And be able to buy whatever I want to buy,

like iPad Pros or cameras and stuff.

I guess the benefits of being skinny is

you don't eat a lot of food, so you save a

lot of money.

Plan a trip?

Yeah, I would like to go on a trip with my

wife soon.

We might go to Nara.

You know, the place where they have deers.

I can take some cool videos of the deers.

But our USJ video just didn't do very

well.

The Osaka Castle video did very well.

I'm just trying to think, what do I want

to make?

Who do I want to be?

Oh, thank you, Black Retty.

After I make the video, would you be down

to do an interview?

I'm not really into doing interviews.

I've done a couple in the past and they

were just so horrible, so awkward.

I did one with Find Your Love in Japan.

Does anyone have this, the, the file, the

Skype file of our interview?

That was a horrible interview.

And then I did one interview with George

Trumbly.

That was awkward.

This is quite a nice ramen.

It's like a tomato soup ramen.

Bit strange, but it works.

It's a bit like pasta and ramen

combined.

Well, that's my lunch.

Sushi costs ¥400 and this costs about

¥150, so it's about $5 for lunch.

I got some whiskey.

Oh, I started doing push-ups.

I do about 20

before I go and have a shower.

And I started walking again.

Takes me about half an hour to walk to the

river, and then I walk around the river a

bit.

And I walk back.

So I'm trying to get some exercise in

because these last few weeks I've just

been sitting in this apartment doing

nothing, not even moving.

I would just walk to the supermarket when

my wife comes back and then come back

here.

I wasn't getting any exercise.

I felt, I felt terrible.

It felt like my bones were starting to

ache when I walked.

Felt like my legs were just deteriorating.

What do I do while I walk?

I listen to music.

That usually gets me pumped up.

I'd like to get a bicycle, actually.

Be nice to get a bicycle.

But I still don't know about my long-term

plans.

It all depends if I can get the spouse

visa again.

And before I came to Japan, I actually

phoned up the Japanese embassy in London

and I explained to him my situation.

I asked him, I said to him, I'm married to

a Japanese woman, but our spouse visa, my

spouse visa expired.

Can I still get back into Japan?

And And he said, you can still get back in

as a tourist.

And that's what I did.

But he said that really, my wife should

get this certificate of eligibility and

send it to me in England, and then I

should reapply for the spouse visa in

London.

And then I asked him, couldn't I just

enter Japan as a tourist and then reapply

from Japan?

And what did he say?

I don't think he said you wouldn't be able

to do it.

I think he said you shouldn't do it.

You should do it from here, from England.

You should get your visa sorted out before

going back to Japan.

And I kind of just ignored him because I

wasn't sure if I was going to get back

with my wife or not.

So what if I can't get my visa, my spouse

visa renewed?

I'd have to— I said to him So if I went to

Japan as a tourist and I wanted to get my

visa renewed as a spouse

and they said no, would I have to come all

the way back to England and apply in

London and then go back to Japan?

He said yeah, probably, and then he

laughed.

That would be so shit if I had to go all

the way back to England to reapply for the

spouse visa

and then come all the way back to Japan

again.

Jesus, I don't think I'd bother.

I'd just get— maybe I'd try and get a

student visa.

That'd be quite interesting for content if

I joined a Japanese language school and I

made friends with some hot Taiwanese girls

and we had a threesome in the park at

night and one of them got pregnant, had my

baby, and then went back to Taiwan, and

then I moved to Taiwan, and then we got

married, and then I learned Chinese, and

then I opened up my own little fish and

chip shop in Taiwan,

and then I meet a Japanese woman, then we

have an affair.

Ah, why is my life so boring?

Life could be pretty crazy,

but then you, you start settling, you get

lazy, you get old, and then you start

thinking, I don't really want a crazy

life.

I want my own little apartment.

I want a woman who's here for me all the

time.

I don't want all this craziness.

I like being settled down.

I like it when the dust has settled.

I like having my own place to put my

stuff.

I don't like moving all around all the

time.

But then on the flip side, I do kind of

crave—

I kind of have this craving This fantasy

where

I meet another Japanese woman, move in

with her, we have wild animal sex for a

few months.

That's nice.

I just, I just miss that wild animal sex.

It just feels good.

When you settle down, you kind of have to

say goodbye to all that.

Why can't there be 2 Daniels and then I

can switch in between the 2 of them?

One can be married, settled down Daniel,

the other one can be wild animal sex

hookup Daniel, and then I can switch

between the two when I want to.

Do something kind for your wife.

Well, I cleaned the place.

Look,

I made it clean.

I wish I could find a way to make content

where I don't need drama.

Something I'm actually interested in

doing, maybe

something I'm good at, something people

enjoy watching.

I wish people liked me.

I missed that time,

late 2017, early 2018, when people

actually liked me as a person

and people kind of respected me.

And they were interested in my opinion,

and they cared about what I had to say,

and the things I said actually held

weight.

And now it feels like people don't care

what I say.

They don't think my opinion is important

or worth listening to,

or they think I'm just a troll,

or I'm a jerk.

It's hard work though, trying to make

people like you.

It's so much easier to just tell people to

fuck off

and be a dick.

And be rude.

It's hard work being a good guy.

Oh, me and my wife went to see Aladdin

yesterday in the cinema.

It was okay, I guess.

I think the actress that played Jasmine

was very pretty.

What's her name?

Naomi Scott.

She's half Indian, half white.

Father's white, Indian mother.

No, I think her mother's from Uganda or

something.

I don't even know where that is.

She's quite pretty.

My sister said she looks just like Buffy

the Vampire Slayer, but an Indian version.

She had big eyes, nice nose, nice smile,

small face, really pretty.

And I like the actor who played Aladdin.

He looked just like Aladdin.

I'm not sure about Will Smith as Genie.

It, it was a bit weird sometimes.

It just looked weird when he was all blue,

and his muscles look like they're CGI.

He's not really that muscular, is he?

And he's not that good at singing.

Will Smith is a rapper, he's not a singer.

When he was singing the Prince Ali song,

it just didn't sound good, and it was

probably auto-tuned as well.

His voice just isn't very powerful as a

singer.

He's okay at rapping, yeah, but for those,

those musical ballad type songs, like

you've got— what's this friend song?

You've Never Had a Friend Like Me.

He didn't sing it very well.

It was just a bit— I felt a bit awkward, a

bit bit uncomfortable listening to him

singing.

I, I never— I've never thought of Will

Smith as a singer.

A rapper, yes, but rapping isn't the same

as singing.

Rapping is just like talking.

I don't think he has a great singing

voice.

And then the whole— oh, that stupid part

when Princess Jasmine starts singing.

They had to add in that feminist bullshit

into it as well, didn't they?

Why all these movies and shows these days

always have this feminist bullshit in it,

where Jasmine starts singing about how she

won't be silenced and she's going to speak

out and be independent.

Oh, look at me, I'm a strong independent

woman.

They always have that rubbish in recent

movies and shows.

It's like they're trying to push something

onto us.

They didn't have that song in the

original.

How does the song go?

That I won't be silenced.

It's just so cheesy.

It was unnecessary.

They should have made— what's her dad's

name?

The Sultan.

They should have made him fat and short

and funny and bubbly like he is in the

original, but he's all serious and skinny

and old-looking in the movie.

It was really cringy, those Princess

Jasmine singing bits.

Shouldn't have added that.

It sounded like they were trying to

recreate something like the Frozen song,

Let It Snow.

What's this song called?

Let It Flow?

Let It Go?

I can't remember the song in Frozen.

It's like they're trying to do another one

of those.

Let it go.

Yeah, I thought it was Let It Snow.

That movie was so bad.

I saw it in Korea with my Korean

girlfriend.

Frozen.

Uh, I just peeled off some skin from my

toe.

It's disgusting.

Why, why are my feet peeling?

I think it's from all the walking I did

yesterday.

Oh, I was gonna make an alcoholic

beverage.

Would you like one?

Oh, my back's killing me.

I don't know what happened.

I'm getting old.

Let it go, let it go.

Da da da da da da.

Let it go, let it go.

I've got

pineapple juice and whiskey.

I'll make you a cocktail.

Who remembers the days when I used to get

whiskey from a convenience store and do

livestreams outside?

I used to walk around drinking it thinking

I was this cool guy.

I just think I was so hip and cool

drinking whiskey out of the whiskey

bottle.

Oh, I need to straighten my back.

Hunching over too much these days.

My favorite juice is Tropicana.

Oh, you know what I found out recently

about the iPad?

Look what you can do on the iPad.

It's so nice.

I love this thing.

I have to say, I've wasted a lot of money

this year.

Buying useless junk, but the iPad is

definitely not that.

It's definitely not useless junk.

I'm so happy with this purchase.

Look, you can do this.

You get the Apple Pencil and you just tap.

Boom!

Opens the notebook, the notepad, and then

you can just start writing.

Isn't that cool?

Look.

Just tap it.

Boom, you've got a new brand new notepad.

So nice just having little things like

that.

I love this iPad so much.