Discussing my plans for 2019

Mm,

very nice sausage roll.

Oh yeah, it's a good sandwich.

I put crisps in my

sandwich.

Sausage

roll.

Oh.

I'm nearly finished. Hold on,

nearly finished.

Okay, I finished.

I finished my sausage roll.

Oh,

I nearly choked.

I'm okay,

don't worry.

Okay, so we need to start

planning for 2019.

Who has any suggestions? We'll do some

brainstorming. Number 1,

number 2.

I'm not sure if my uncle's here. He went

out with his friend and then they came

back. I think

they came in, but they might have went

back out. I'm not sure because I went

downstairs and there's no one around

unless they're in the room. I can't hear

anything. They're leaving

soon, so I don't have to worry about this.

Can't

wait.

Date an English girl. Well, well, well,

it's funny you should say that. No, I'm

not, I'm not revealing anything yet

because it's still early days.

Uh, the CCTV, um,

isn't showing a very good picture because

of the sun, so we'll just minimize it.

Oh well, well, well. Oh well, well,

well.

We don't have any concrete plans laid down

yet, but let's just say that the

foundations have been,

um, found— founded.

Wow, wow, wow. I think we're going to

have some fun this year.

But still, I like to plan things. I think

it's fun writing lists. How about you?

Yesterday, um,

my dad came home In a box. This is serious

talk moment. My dad's ashes came back

yesterday and all my uncles came over and

we planted a tree. Well, they planted a

tree. I just stood there watching and I

took some videos of it. I'm not sure if I

want to make a video out of it.

Do you think it's wrong to show people my

dad's ash? I feel like

it's something Logan Paul would do. It's

not really a dead body, it's just some

powder. You can't even tell it's ash, it

just looks like dirt.

It's a nice— I think it's a nice video.

My uncle's digging a hole. My granddad

would be so proud if he could see all of

his his boys all grown up with their own

families and their own grandkids burying

his other boy in the garden that

he bought and built. Wouldn't, wouldn't my

granddad be so proud? I mean, look at this

house, his dream home,

finished— well, nearly finished and

completed by his son and now being looked

after by his grandson. And now tens

of thousands of people know about the

beauty of this place thanks to his

grandson. Do you think he'd be happy?

Why does it matter if he's dead?

I don't think I'd really care about

anything after I died.

I guess the only thing I'd care about is

My YouTube channel. If I died, I want my

YouTube channel to stay up.

Obviously, I'd be pretty annoyed if

someone deleted my channel after I died.

Maybe I'll give it to my sister. Maybe

I'll write a will and put my YouTube login

onto it. Say, if I die, my sister gets

my YouTube channel, and then she has to

tell you guys about about my passing.

What else? I don't really have anything to

pass down to anyone. I don't have any

kids.

I'll give my sister my iPhone X.

What else? I don't really care.

When I die, my YouTube channel is all

that's going to be left of me. It's my

legacy. My granddad and my dad, they built

a house. I built a YouTube channel where

I'll live forever. If you miss me, you can

come and watch my old videos.

I think that's kind of sweet, don't you?

You can always come and say hi to me.

Oh, my dream would be, um, if someone

buried me with a GoPro.

And then they put lights inside of the

coffin and they just livestreamed my

corpse forever. And it's all plugged into

electricity.

How would you be able to make that happen?

I'd have to have some kind of special

coffin that has lights inside and then a

GoPro, maybe different angles of a GoPro,

and then have to be plugged into a mains

outlet. We need internet as well,

and I'd need my own website because

YouTube wouldn't let me do it.

And then the title— the website could be

www.danielisdead.com,

and then it's just a permanent livestream

of me rotting in a coffin, and then people

can come back 20 years later and I'm just

a skeleton. That would be great.

That's my dream.

If I die, someone carry out my wish,

please.

I'm a bit curious to see what my cat looks

like. He died in October.

Do you think there's anything left? I

think the fur should still be there. I

don't think any flesh would still be

I'm very curious to see. Okay,

plans for 2019, number 1.

This is something that I'm quite

interested in doing. London.

One month in London.

I've been looking at Airbnbs recently and

I found a few good places. Quite, quite

expensive.

It's about— I found a good one for about

£1,050, and there's another one for

about £1,700. There's another one for

about £1,000 To 200.

It would be nice to have my, my own little

bachelor pad. I'm just

a bit scared because every time I go onto

the news, all I see is another stabbing

knife crime in London. 4 teenagers

stabbed. And it's all over London, not

just in specific areas. I looked up

on Google the place where the Airbnb is

and I typed in knife crime in blah blah

blah. Said there were several recently.

So I'm a bit scared, to be honest.

I don't want to get stabbed. All I hear

about London is knife crime and stabbings.

Maybe I'll get one of those stab-proof

vests and I'll be safe.

I'm pretty sure most of these stabbings

are teenagers who are in gangs and then

they're fighting each other. I don't think

it's just random stabbings against

strangers. I don't think it's mugging.

I don't think they're robbing people.

They're just having fights. Like gang

fights, but they don't have guns, so they

But if I go to London, I need to get a new

laptop because I want to play Rainbow Six,

and I won't be out, out and about dating

every single day. I'll probably be inside

most of the time. It won't really be any

different to to being here. So what's the

point of going? If I'm just gonna go to

London and sit in my room all day playing

Rainbow Six, might as well stay here.

But it might be fun, might be like an

adventure. And if I hate it, I can make an

I hate London video. I have

my own life, do you want to see?

I'm all ready to go to London.

No, I'm not gonna bring my knife. Don't

call the police, I'm a good boy.

I'm not sure what I want to do in London

apart from, you know, the obvious business

meetings. What else could I do? I just

walk around a bit.

Uh, I don't know.

What do normal people do? I guess they go

sightseeing, go to a museum,

go to Buckingham Palace.

I just want to try it, to see what it's

like to, to live in London.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. And then,

um, after a month, I guess I'll come back

here. Come back.

Here,

and then save up more money.

The good thing about living here is I

don't have to pay rent, so I'm saving up

everything that I earn. I don't have to

pay for food, I don't have to pay for

rent. It's great. I'm making so much

money right now.

So I think I can splash out a bit when I

go to London, you know, get a nice Airbnb

that's more in the center.

And what should I do then?

Stay a few months here?

Where should I go then?

Why not do something useful like volunteer

abroad?

That's a good one. Can you imagine me

volunteering? Oh,

that made me chuckle.

Oh, thank you for the £1.

Thickson TD.

What happens to your home when my mum

dies? Then I get it. I'll be the owner of

a £1 million home.

Isn't that funny? Little old me,

no education.

Maybe when I get to my late 30s, I'll

start, start settling down, start looking

for a serious relationship to make a

family with.

Well, yeah, my sister will get half as

well, but then we can just live here

together. And make babies

pure blood.

I have some sad news about my sister. I

can't tell you yet because, um,

well, I'll tell you when it happens. It's

just kind of sad.

It was your granddad's house. It'll be

split between your brothers. The brothers?

No, it won't. My uncles— my uncles already

got a share of the house when my granddad

died, and they sold their shares to my

dad. So next in kin is me and my sister.

I might make a video about the tree. It's

not really that interesting. It's just a

tree. This is weird though.

I can't stop saying to myself, this is so

weird. My dad's out there under a tree.

It's just so weird. I don't think it'll

ever stop being weird. It's so strange how

someone can be a person and then next

minute they're powder.

Doesn't make sense.

Do I have happy news? Um,

well, I'm making a lot of money on

YouTube, which is pretty good, pretty good

news, I think.

Something to celebrate. Apart from that,

not much else.

And me and my sister are gonna get quite

a lot of money from the inheritance, so

we're gonna put that into a savings

account.

That's quite good.

If I put it into a savings account with 5%

interest, in 30 years' time when I'm 60,

it will have turned into quite a lot,

won't it?

I'm a bit worried about going back to

Japan. What if my wife has, I don't know,

told the police something, and then I

reach Japan and I get arrested, and she

keeps it a secret so I don't know about

it? I didn't do anything illegal.

Do you think she would do something like

that? I don't think she

would. Be pretty funny if I got banned

from entering Japan. That would make a

I kind of feel annoyed about everyone

saying that I ruined my life, my wife's

life. But what about her? We ruined each

other's lives. It's not just me.

I ended up wasting an entire year in Japan

doing nothing. Didn't get to see my cat,

didn't get to see my dad, and now they're

gone. I mean, what about me?

Everyone keeps saying that I ruined her

life.

It takes two to tango. Not everything's my

Everyone takes her side because she's a

woman. Just lame.

I didn't try to ruin her life on purpose.

It was just a relationship that didn't

work out and things

didn't go well. It doesn't mean I tried to

ruin her life. Such a negative way of

What's better, staying in an unhappy

relationship or leaving and then making

them upset.

I was self-centered and selfish? I moved

to an entire new country for her.

How many people could move to a different

country for their partner? And live there

and say goodbye to their friends and

family at home. I think that was a pretty

big self-sacrifice.

You basically moved her into a bigger

apartment. No, I didn't. She moved me into

a bigger apartment. It was her idea,

and I gave her plenty of money, so she

should be fine.

Everything that happened was my wife's

idea. Getting married, moving into the

bigger place. I didn't make any decisions.

The decision maker was her, and I just

went along.

I wouldn't have stayed in Japan if it

wasn't for her. I would have left. I only

stayed in Japan to be with her.

Otherwise, I would have left a long time

ago. I would have just came back, came

back home. People keep

jumping to all these assumptions and

assuming things that aren't true.

It's kind of annoying.

And then when I try and explain things,

people say, oh, I'm blaming her. I'm not

blaming. I'm just explaining what

happened.

How can I explain the truth about what

happened without people saying I'm blaming

her?

It's like people saying that I pressured

her into marrying me. And then I said,

no, it was her idea to get married. And

then people start saying I was blaming her

for the marriage. No, I'm just telling you

how it happened, that I didn't pressure

her and it wasn't my idea.

And now everyone— you, you guys are the

ones who are blaming me, criticizing me

for blaming her. You're the ones blaming

me for stuff that Wasn't even my fault,

and I didn't even decide or choose.

Bunch of hypocrites, people. You people

are.

I'm not blaming. I'm just telling you what

happened. I'm not saying

it was wrong of her to suggest us getting

married. If I did, then that would be

blaming her, but I didn't because I

thought it was a good idea as well at the

time, and I was quite happy that I got to

live in Japan and I had a wife.

Oh, thank you, death god karma.

What nice things did I do for her except

staying in Japan? Well, I cooked dinner

every evening. Cleaned the house,

gave her love and affection.

Love and affection. Bought her a lot of

things.

What else is there?

I built her a bridge out of the bones of

tiny squirrels, and I carved her name

using a chisel. Get real.

Why do I have to do stuff for her anyway?

I'm not obligated to do special stuff.

I'm bored. I got her a lovely rose-scented

candle for Christmas. I thought that was a

Well, thank you, Death God. I'm bored as

well.

I bought her an Amazon Fire Stick. Cost

And yeah, she has all my stuff. So if she

needs money, she's got my $1,800 laptop,

she's got my $100 gaming mouse, she's got

my $100 Snowball Yeti microphone,

she has my probably $600

worth valued iPad Pro.

So if she needs money, she can just sell

all that crap.

Just take it to an electronics store and

just say, how much can I get for this?

Now I have to buy a new gaming laptop if

I'm gonna go to London because I have a

Rainbow Six addiction and it's the best

game in the world and I love it and I

can't go a single day without playing it.

Oh, it's so good. Oh,

so good. You should have seen me last

night. I killed 4 guys in a row. I just

jumped out a window and they were all

sneaking around preparing to make an

entry, and I just jumped out the window,

landed behind them, shot them all in the

back. It was so funny. Pissed myself

laughing.

Wow, this guy's giving me a lot of money.

Thanks.

Go and get my stuff. So I should fly all

the way to Japan just to get a couple

thousand dollars worth of stuff? I don't

think so. And then what if I meet

her, see her again, and we end up having

sex? That won't be very good for the

divorce, would it? I mean, I have a very

active man drive,

and I might not be able to resist

temptation. I don't think it's a good idea

for us to see each other again.

That's one of my naughty fantasies

recently. I go back to Japan to get my

stuff, and then she's happy to see me. We

hug, we kiss, and then cereal happens,

and then the divorce is off. That would be

crazy.

I should aim for 100,000 subscribers.

There's no point aiming for it because

every time I upload a video, 50 people

unsubscribe. But I can't say anything

without upsetting someone. I don't know

why people are so easy to make upset.

Why do they get so upset so easily?

It's not as if anything I'm doing or

saying is affecting your life.

Directly. You don't even know me. I'm just

some guy on the internet.

Now, every time I upload a video, I lose

about 50 subs. It's really weird.

Go to Japan, sign the papers. I don't need

to go all the way to Japan to sign papers.

She can post them to me.

I don't think I've read or heard a single

thing on the internet that offended me. I

don't think there's anything you could say

to offend me. I just wouldn't care if you

said something dumb. I just think you're

dumb. I wouldn't get all offended.

Oh, oh, I'm so offended!

How dare you! I just

don't understand people.

Oh, thank you, Top Lists. Oh, my uncle's

downstairs. I just heard the door open.

Why are they always here?

I've noticed a shift in your audience over

the last year. Your comment section is

infested with concern trolls and

condescending advice. Yeah,

um,

it's funny,

people keep telling me what to do, but

they always say the same thing: grow up,

take responsibility. Get a job. It's just

kind of boring now.

When are people gonna learn that I'm not

gonna grow up, I'm not gonna take

responsibility, and I'm not gonna get a

job? What's the point in telling me the

same thing over and over again?

Well, I get it helps the video if people

comment because I get more engagement, so

I'm not really complaining about comments.

I would love it if everyone commented, so

if they think it's going to make any

difference, then just let them write

whatever they want. But can you just

imagine if I read a comment and it said,

grow up, Daniel, and I went, oh, Oh wow,

maybe I should grow up. This stranger is

telling me to. Oh, she changed my life.

And they keep telling me to get to read

Jordan Peterson. Um, I bought his book,

didn't really help me. Yeah, I found out

some things about lobsters and Adam and

Eve. And about the suffering of existence.

Just made me feel depressed.

Oh wow, Sharon, thank you for the Hong

Kong dollars. Maybe I should go to Hong

Kong. That could be a fun place.

Oh, and thank you 01189998819991197253.

For that, I'm not sure why the alert thing

isn't working.

That's kind of annoying. Why isn't

it working?

Waste of money. What was, the donation or

me buying Jordan Peterson's book? The book

only costs about £12. Yeah, I might put

Hong Kong on the list. I've never been to

Hong Kong apart from the airport.

I like the way Hong Kong people speak

English. It just sounds kind of cute.

But isn't Hong Kong China? I'm very

confused. I don't really like China.

If I went to Hong Kong, I would like to go

to the place where the Japanese defeated

the British. The fall of Hong Kong.

That'd be quite interesting.

I started listening to, um,

this audiobook on YouTube called Mein

Kampf. It's pretty interesting.

I thought it was more interesting than

Jordan Peterson's book.

Oh, fuck's sake, why are you saying F?

Is it streaming?

Testing.

I think I lost connection.

Let me check.

Oh, this stupid SIM card's so slow. I

bought a SIM card because I thought it

would be faster, and it's just as slow—

no, even slower than my internet. Can't

even get 4G.

I can't even get 4G here.

I think it's streaming. It says video

output low.

I'm a bit worried because

my bloody uncle's probably on the internet

taking out my ban whip.

My previous donation didn't contain text.

Oh, that's a shame.

Can I stream Rainbow? No, because my

internet's too slow, but thank

you very much. I can't even connect to

YouTube on this SIM card.

If I went to London, at least I'd have

good internet, hopefully.

Hmm, can't even check it on my stupid

This is such a failure.