[2023-02-22] I'M GAY - my confession [Oix9mxk735A]

Oh, I think it's working.

Testing. Oh, I think

it's working. Yes!

That was weird.

Oh no, wait,

is it working?

I think it's working.

Yes, it's working. Okay. I think we're

live testing, testing.

Yes, it's working. Okay. I think we're

live testing,

testing. Do you like my new webcam?

Yes, it's working. Okay. Wow, my stream

Multi-stream running. Uh, let me move the

chat a little bit. My stream looks a bit

messy, but I think it looks cool.

See, I told you the timer would carry on

ticking. Even when I'm not streaming.

Whoa, the chat just went crazy.

Imagine I had so many viewers the chat

actually moved that quickly. That would be

Discord link isn't working. Which link?

I don't think I linked it. Oh, the link,

the Streamlabs link. I don't

know what it is about Streamlabs. I mean

Discord links, they keep expiring. Even

when I set it to do not expire, it still

expires anyway.

Did I lose weight? I don't think so.

Pretty much the same as

usual. Still got fat stomach.

Please use a keyframe frequency of 4

seconds or less. What does that mean?

Yep, I'm gay. My confession.

What? How, how's my Twitch doing?

6 viewers on Twitch. Nice.

Well, at least it's working. I think

Daniel is a shock tuber now. What do you

mean now? It's basically been my thing for

like the last 5 years.

I'm the one who's shocked that people

didn't realize it until

now, I guess, until I actually announce it

and admit it.

Okay, looks fine. I think

I set everything up well.

So I first transitioned into shock tactics

probably mid-2017, but for

some reason everyone thought I was like

really genuine and honest or something,

which I guess I am, but all my content was

geared towards shocking the viewer with

the crazy titles.

Where are the widgets? All over the

screen, can't you see it? I went

back to using Streamlabs because Prism

just wasn't very good.

I think Streamlabs is better.

I have to keep approving all these

comments that have GAY in it. G-A-Y. If

you type G-A-Y, I think it censors your

comment, then I have to approve it.

Yeah, I'm G-A-Y, guys. Join my OnlyFans.

I don't know if I, if I say G-A-Y, am I

going to get demonetized? G-A-Y in

Japan.

It's funny because my last stream got

demonetized because of the title. It was

something like, why I hate my ex-wife. I

just changed it to, hey guys, it's Daniel,

and then it went green again. How dumb is

that? The algorithm's so stupid, isn't it?

It's like you say a word and then you go

yellow, but you sped it out and it's

green.

If there's a moderator online, can you

approve people's comments? So I want the

comments to not be— otherwise the chat's

going to be dead. Everyone's comments

getting censored. Stupid YouTube is so

sensitive. I want people to be able to

comment. Why are they holding back so many

just because they write J-A-Y?

So recently I kind of have this problem.

I am finding it very hard to want to have

cereal with my girlfriend.

So we had cereal, I think, a couple days

ago, but I really didn't want to, but she

kept She gets really in in the mood, and

then she really wants to do it to the

point where I basically have to force

myself to do it. Otherwise, she's going to

be upset. I actually enjoy self

cereal more than actual cereal now, and I

think this is kind of a problem. Oh,

thanks. I paid your fucking rent, and you

moved on with Didi from La Chine. I paid

your rent and you treat me like shit? I

paid your rent and you fuck a grey pussy?

Really? Really? I'm gonna post my pussy on

OnlyFans right now. Right the fuck now.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what

you're talking about. Um, what was I

saying? Yeah, I'm finding it

really hard to, to get hard these days.

And she's getting upset about it.

Might need to cut out prawn, but prawn is

like the only excitement I get these days.

The most exciting thing I look forward to

is when I wake up, she leaves for work,

and then I get to like turn on some crazy

prawns.

Just find it really hard to, to get

aroused. By her. I don't

know why this happened with Chihiro as

well. She'd just be like lying naked on

the bed and I'd be thinking, damn, it was

my fantasy for such a long time to have

this and now I have it and it's not doing

anything for me. I am as soft as

a pillow. Do you find

your girlfriend that unattractive? I don't

know. I think she looks okay, but then

Recently, I just don't feel in the mood.

I'd rather just go to bed, especially at

night after dinner. I'm not really in the

mood to do it. The time when I'm in the

mood for it most probably is in the middle

of the day when I'm bored. But then she's

And then she started crying one time. She

really wanted to do it and I kept stopping

her and I said, I'm tired. I want to go to

bed. And then she started sulking because

I was hugging the pillow and she actually

started crying. And then she stormed out

of the bedroom and then she came back and

then she was crying. And I said, what's

wrong? And she said, you're hugging the

pillow, not hugging me. Can you imagine

crying because I was hugging a pillow? I

wasn't hugging it. I just had my arm under

the pillow like that and my other arm over

it. I wasn't hugging it. She's so

weird.

Oh yeah, something really dangerous

happened on Saturday. So I remember my

last stream, I posted that, finished it,

and then some idiot in the comments was

like, oh, I've been watching you, Daniel,

for 6 years now, but I finally have to

stop giving you my viewership because All

you do is whine about views and money,

which makes us think all you care about is

views and money. Maybe if you didn't do

toxic stuff and you focused on your

drawing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So

I got really triggered by that comment and

I was writing a really long reply saying,

you're wrong, drawing doesn't get me any

views, blah, blah, blah. Didn't notice she

was coming up behind me until it was too

late and I quickly minimized. Switch tabs

to my stocks, but she saw me quickly

switch it as she approached and she was

like, what was that? What are you hiding?

What were you writing? And I was like,

it's nothing.

And then she kept insisting that I show it

to her. She said, can you show to me? And

I said no. And then she went, oh my God,

our relationship will be destroyed because

you won't show it. And I just kept trying

to say, oh, it's personal. I was just

writing a YouTube comment. And then she

said, you have a YouTube channel? I said,

no. I said, I'm just writing a comment on

the video I'm watching. And then she asked

me what it was about. So I just said, oh,

I'm trying to discuss about having toxic

audiences and what's bad about it. And

that, that seemed to be good enough. And

she, she let go of it. That was on

Saturday when we went traveling to those

caves and stuff, and it really kind of

ruined the first half of the day. I

thought she was going to cancel, we would

just stay at home because it was so— it

was such like a bad atmosphere in the air.

That stupid guy who wrote the comment

nearly got me busted. Chief Wiggum, if

you're here. Chief Wiggum in his comments

said As to what you have to offer for

YouTube, you have your drawings and your

openness and your complete honesty. And I

said— and I started explaining why I gave

up on drawing videos because they don't

get views. And then he was like, oh, who

are you talking to? Who are you? What

imaginary person are you quoting? Blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah. I never said

anything about— yeah, you did. You brought

up drawing videos. So I'm telling you why

I don't do drawing videos. Because none of

them went viral. They take a long time to

do. I need like a creative idea to

actually make it in the first place. I

hate people saying, oh, you're good at

drawing. Why don't you just do drawing

videos? Because they don't get views. If I

only did drawing videos, I could only

crank out maybe 2 at max a week because

it's hard to come up with the idea for the

drawing, and I'd get like 4K views

forever. I can't live off 4K views,

so I'm not going to focus on something

that doesn't work. I need to focus on what

works. And I don't even really—

I mean, I enjoy drawing and doodling here

and there, maybe a couple of times a

month, but I can't— I'd get burnt

out and get fed up of drawing.

I keep trying to explain to people why I

took the channel in the direction I took

it. And they keep saying, oh, you just

focused on the good aspects of your

videos. If you didn't do drama, then maybe

your channel wouldn't have died, blah blah

blah. How do you know that? What if I kept

with the non-toxic stuff and then died

anyway? It's a gamble,

isn't it? No one knows for sure what would

have happened. You keep saying, oh, well,

if you didn't do this, you didn't do that.

Well, how do you know? What if we can go

back in time and I just did it in a

different way and And the outcome was

exactly the same. You're telling me you've

never seen a big channel that only has

positive content not die? I've seen plenty

who have like a million subs that only do

positive stuff, no drama, no toxicity,

and they died anyway. So I don't really

believe in this argument where, oh, all

you have to do is be a positive person and

then your channel will grow. It doesn't

work like that. You people, not you

people, but people like Chief Wiggum don't

know what they're talking about. And then

they have the audacity to lecture me. And

then he deleted his comment so I couldn't

reply to it anymore. And because of your

stupid comment, my girlfriend nearly found

out about my YouTube channel. And I

got in trouble on Saturday, nearly ruined

the whole weekend.

And then I was vlogging the weekend. And

if you saw my last video, you'll see that

I filmed some good footage of the caves

and the food and interesting stuff. Guess

what she said on Sunday? She said, are you

a YouTuber? Because I always see you

filming a lot. And I was like, no.

Uh, excuse me. But she's getting really

suspicious and I don't know how much

longer I can hide this. I mean, there's a

lot of things that point towards, yeah, I

am a YouTuber. Number one, I've got these

damn cameras everywhere. Look, I got this,

I got this with the selfie stick, got my

GoPro.

She doesn't know I've got this mic because

I keep it in my bag. I'm always filming

when we go out. I'm always minimizing tabs

quickly when she approaches me. I don't

know if she saw my channel banner page

because, you know, when you're on the

comment section On the top left, it will

have the picture of the thumbnail of the

video of the comments you're responding

to. And she was coming from behind

me. I don't know if she had her focus on

the center of the screen. That's pretty

quick. But if you saw that thumbnail,

it's obviously me. I don't know if she had

time to focus on it and realize it was me.

I'm a bit nervous. She's definitely

suspicious about YouTube. And now I'm

worried because all she has to do is type

in Japan, Daniel, and I think my channel

would come up. Who can go onto an

incognito tab and just type in Daniel

Japan without any search history or

anything else? Complete fresh page. Tell

me how easy it is to find my channel

because I'm getting a bit nervous. I feel

like I need to jump ship soon. I've only

got still over a month until

I go to Japan. I really don't want to be

around when she finds the channel. So I

think it's going to be over if she finds

it. She's going

to be destroyed that I lied this whole

time about so many things. Plus the fact I

got OnlyFans, I think. I mean,

I think a girl like her would be very

against someone doing something like

OnlyFans. So just that alone would

be like a massive, a massive danger

to the relationship.

This last 5 months trying to keep this

YouTube channel secret has been such a,

such a headache. And now we're watching

this show on Netflix called You where the

main character lies about who he is.

Tries dating a new woman and hiding his

past, and it's kind of hitting a

bit close to home. I'm just kind of

sweating whilst watching this thinking,

oh crap, I hope this is not giving her any

ideas about me.

Your channel is second in search results.

Oh my God. I mean, all you did was search

Daniel in Japan. She knows I'm really into

Japan and that I

do vlogging because that's what I film

when I'm with her. Oh my

God, this is such an annoying— Good

morning, my tribal chief. Maybe you would

enjoy sex more if fast using 8-inch

strap-on. Chosen.

Yeah, maybe. When we're making love, I

have to close my eyes and start imagining

other people.

So it's really hard to keep it going.

I just have to really focus, like close my

eyes, picture someone else, and then I can

get the job done. I didn't think having

you know what would be such a difficult

thing to do. Because you think of me as

like, oh, I'm horny all the time. All I

think about is women. So what's the

problem? It's hard work.

Sometimes you're doing it and then it just

gets boring and you can't feel anything

below. It just feels like it's gone numb.

This isn't the first time it's happened.

It's happened with chlamydia girlfriend as

well. She also cried.

She went into the corner of the room and

started crying, saying that I didn't love

her anymore. Well, first of all, I didn't

actually love her in the first place. I

just found her kind of attractive. But

then after 3 months together, Any kind of

attractiveness I thought she had just kind

of disappears. Is it just me? I mean,

when you are not with a woman, you look at

her and all you can think about is

smashing. But then when you, when you get

together and you're with her, it's like

her attractiveness goes down day by day.

The more you get used to seeing her. Why

is it like that? I don't

think it would change if the girl was

hotter. Maybe it would just take longer

until that happens.

You have to spice it up, don't you? I see

you haven't changed at all in the past 2

years. Does it not tire you to be so

similar to your previous self? Where is

the growth? Do you completely lack a

desire for change? No hate, just honestly

asking. So first of all,

I have changed. I've changed quite a lot

in my mentality towards stuff like how

emotionally attached I am to my YouTube

channel, how I view relationships as very

temporary things. Over the years, I've

changed a lot. I've also mentally

fortified myself against heartbreak after

what happened with Mila. You just don't

see it because it doesn't really— this is

very internal stuff in my mind. So I guess

I can't blame you for not noticing it.

Also, I've started to work out. Look at my

muscles. So I'm interested

in bodybuilding now and trying to bulk up

a little bit. So I've changed a lot and

I've gotten new hobbies and interests.

It's just people don't notice it because

you would have to be very invested and

watch my livestreams, listen to what I

have to say to actually notice this. This

stuff. But if you're just like clicking on

a few videos here and there, okay, maybe

it seems like nothing's changed.

My tribal chief, it sounds to me like this

is a problem with her, not you. She needs

to give you what you need. If she can't

accept that, you should dump her. She

needs to stimulate your prostate to spice

things up. Also, Salad is a loser. She,

she does try, but her fingernails are too

long, so it doesn't go inside. And I

haven't taught her how to do it. So that's

what really spiced it up with Chihiro is

when she put the finger in the hole. But

Chihiro put her finger right in, like very

deep, and then wiggled it. I don't

know how Chihiro did it so well. I think

maybe Chihiro listened to me talk about it

on stream. Because I used to talk about

what I fantasized about and what I would

find hot. And then suddenly she started

doing it without me telling her to do it.

That was Chihiro, though. My girlfriend

tries to do it because I think she knows I

kind of like it, but she doesn't put her

finger in. She can't because her

fingernails would actually just make me

bleed because they're so damn long.

They're kind of long and pointy.

I think I need like something going in

from behind whilst I'm on top to actually

stop me from going soft.

Why does it say my connection's poor? The

stream's okay, isn't it? It's not lagging

or anything. I've got 4 SIM cards running.

How can I have poor connection?

End the stream. You're weird as fuck

talking about this without her knowing you

have a YouTube channel. Well, what can I

do? If she knows, then she'll find out all

this. I need to delete everything I've

posted. I think maybe I'll take down all

the livestreams from October because no

one watches them after they've finished.

I'll get maybe a couple extra thousand

views after the live's finished, but all

of the lives going back from October are

basically massive dangerous things because

of all the, the amount I talked about her

in a negative way would really put me in—

get me into trouble, I think.

Don't talk about it? Well, I think we all

know that's impossible. What am I going to

talk about then? Oh, the weather in

Bangkok is very nice today. I had noodles

yesterday which tasted rubbish.

All she has to do is Google your full

name. Well, she doesn't know my full name,

which is what's kept me safe all this

time. She still thinks my name is my fake

I, I'm pretty sure she Googled it because

she definitely searched my fake name on

Facebook because she showed me. She was

like, oh, there's no Daniel blah blah

blah. And I said, yeah, because my

Facebook is private. I just use it for

family. She hasn't insisted that I add her

as a friend on Facebook, which would be

hard if I had to because, because my

family are my friends on Facebook and they

have their last name. So When I'm chatting

to my sister, I have to keep that a secret

as well because my sister's last name

isn't the same as my fake name. And then

she'll be like, why is your sister's name

different? She might think my sister is

like a girl, secret girl I'm chatting to.

So I always go to the toilet if my

sister's messaged me to message her back.

This is basically the same as what was

happening with Chihiro. Chihiro found my

channel straight away, though. And do you

know why Chihiro found my channel? It's

because I told her I've got a YouTube

channel, but I don't want her to find out

what it is. I said, you know why I keep

filming? It's because I'm actually a

YouTuber, but I'd prefer it if you didn't

look for my channel. Thinking Chihiro

would actually respect my privacy,

Chihiro found the channel the very next

day. She said all she did was type in My

name, Daniel Lord, and my channel popped

up.

So I don't know how my channel pops up

just from typing Daniel Lord, but I guess

Daniel Lord is connected to my channel as

a search term, even though none of my

videos say Daniel Lord in it. My channel

description doesn't say Daniel Lord. I

don't know how Daniel Lord shows you my

So I'm just crossing my fingers that she

doesn't find it until I'm in Japan. If she

finds it when I'm in Japan, I wouldn't

really care. But if she finds it and

confronts me about it, it's going to be— I

remember when Chihiro confronted me about

my channel. It was the most uncomfortable

thing I've ever had to do. Because I can't

stand crying women. It really annoys me.

Your tag contains your name. Daniel is

bored. Yeah, but it's not Daniel Lord.

A bit worried if she's suspicious I have a

channel. She's going to start trying to

search for it, isn't she? And then she's

going to see all my titles like, oh, I'm

Trying to get my girlfriend pregnant. I

might start changing some of the titles a

lot. Do you think I should change the

titles or just take them down? I don't

really care anymore because none of those

videos are going to go viral or anything.

I might just remove all of the talking

head videos where I'm just sitting in the

room talking about weird stuff. And leave

the date vlogs up because they're fine. I

think the date vlogs are fine.

My tribal chief, you should purchase a

dildo and educate Fast on what you like so

she can put some pep in your step. No,

that's kind of weird.

I feel embarrassed telling her that I like

it up the b-hole.

What happened to Chihiro's videos and

Instagram? She deleted everything after I

made that video about her new boyfriend.

She removed all her YouTube videos, all

her Instagram stuff. I don't understand

about the new boyfriend. He's still in

Thailand. Did anyone see his new video?

He's in Thailand up until the 10th.

He posts his videos about a week after

he's filmed it. So I don't know if he's

still here, but he was in Chiang Mai on

his last update. I don't understand

because he and Chihiro came here on the

9th of January. That means he's been here

for over a month. They went to Laos

and then he came back here alone, I think.

So I don't know if Chihiro went back to

Japan alone and he's just been here the

whole time. How are they dating? If he's

here and Chihiro can't be outside of Japan

for more than 2 weeks because she'll only

have about 2 weeks of paid holiday and

then she has to go back to work. So I

don't know how the relationship works if

he's here and she's there. Is it like a

long-term thing? I mean, a long-distance

relationship, or is it like an open

relationship, like a casual thing where

they don't live together? Chihiro is

a very lonely person. She wants to be in

relationships because she wants to live

with someone. She doesn't like being

alone. Chihiro is a very dependent

woman. She always wants to be in a

relationship. She said herself she's never

been out of a relationship for longer than

a few months since she was like 18.

She's always been in a relationship. So to

think that she's dating this guy who's

always in Thailand or going traveling

somewhere doesn't make sense to me.

But I feel like that— how would they not

be in a relationship? Because they went to

Laos together. I haven't seen any romantic

gestures like hand-holding or kissing in

the clips, but how can

you say they're just friends? Who travels

abroad to a country with a guy when

you're a girl when you're just friends?

Unless there was a third friend that I

didn't notice. There could be a chance

that there's a third person that went to

Laos with them. They went as like a group

of friends that I didn't notice. Then it

would kind of make sense. But I don't

remember seeing any signs of a third

person. To me, it seems like a

man and a woman went on holiday together

and it was kind of like a romantic thing.

And then maybe she went back to Japan

alone. And he's still here in Thailand

doing his travel vlogs.

So very strange. I didn't watch his new

video because I don't really care that

much anymore.

Also, if they're not together, why did she

blur his face out of her video? She didn't

blur out Misaki's face. Oh, thanks,

no one. For sub subbing on Twitch.

I'm streaming on Twitch as well, by the

way. This is a multi-stream.

Wow, I got eight subs.

You're G A Y probably finding

it hard to get off on women. Watching more

JAYPORN these days.

Anyway, back to the other topic. Yeah.

When Chihiro came home after she found out

my YouTube channel back in— it was in

November, 5 years ago. Can you believe

it's 5 years now? I'm still talking about

it. It was 5 years ago, November, before

we got married. She came home, she was

shaking, and she sat down, said, Daniel,

I need to talk to you. Are you cheating on

me? I found your YouTube channel.

I don't think that would happen this time

because I've honestly not cheated and

haven't talked about cheating apart from

that video called— Have I made any videos

about cheating recently? I don't think I

have. I don't think I've said or done any

kind of content to make anyone think I've

cheated. So I don't think she would be

upset about the same thing. Chihiro didn't

care about everything else, like the weird

streams and the weird topics I talked

about. She only cared about whether I was

cheating or not.

But after I made her feel like I wasn't

cheating, she was okay and she was

actually interested in being on the

channel. It would be funny if my

girlfriend wants to be on the channel.

But then people are gonna try and tell her

stuff like, oh, Daniel said this back in

November. I would start having

to ban people if people start trying to

expose me and write stuff in Thai to try

and upset her. Then I'm gonna have to—

number one, I won't just let the comments

be open. I'd have to heavily moderate the

comments. And I wouldn't livestream with

her because it's hard to moderate the

comments live when she's right next to me.

And then she'll think I'm hiding

something. Why do you keep banning people?

Because they're trying to cause drama,

maybe.

What did you say back in November? Well,

it wasn't just in November. It's the whole

time I've been here. I've been saying

stuff like, Oh, I miss Japanese women.

Oh, I would smash my wife again if I

could. It's just like all this weird stuff

I keep saying out loud. Daniel, what would

your ideal life be? Goals?

Oh, thanks, Yuhuan. My ideal life would

be, hmm,

I don't

know.

Honestly, maybe, maybe a girlfriend

who would be completely okay with

everything I talk about. Or maybe just

several girlfriends that are not really in

love with me, but they like me and we just

meet up casually. And then I have a cheap

place to stay.

Basically, I just want a cheap place to

live. Nice apartment, not too big, not too

small, peaceful, where I can just stream

and game and do stuff that doesn't cost

$1,000 a month.

So I want a nice cheap place to stay. I

want a relationship, or maybe just

something casual,

so I can focus on making content in a safe

space.

What I don't want is really expensive cost

of living, lonely, can't get a girlfriend.

So that's basically what Manchester was.

I don't want Manchester. That was a

nightmare. That was horrible. Hated it.

Also, my building on the top floor has

penthouse suites. I asked her how much it

would cost and she said About— I think she

said about $1,000 a month, which is funny

because I could afford to— I could just

afford to live in the penthouse. And the

penthouse is huge. It's got multiple

bedrooms. It's like 100 square meters big,

but it looks kind of boring inside. It's

not all fancy and luxurious inside. It

just looks the same as this place, but

it's just bigger with more bedrooms.

The view was nice in Manchester. Yeah, it

was nice, but the apartment was so small.

It was like a corridor. It was like a

rectangle. Living room, kitchen,

bed— you can't even call it a bedroom. It

was just like a bed and it had like a

separating partition wall to make it seem

like a different room, but it wasn't a

different room. My tribal chief, do you

think Asushi is cheating on Chihiro behind

her back? Maybe he was with loose

ladyboys. I doubt

it. He doesn't seem the type to— he

doesn't really seem into cereal in the

first place. He seems very asexual.

But yeah, maybe he could be.

But I really hated the Manchester

apartment because it felt so narrow.

This place is way better. I think this

place is probably triple the size of my

Manchester place. It's got a kitchen.

Having a kitchen in its own room It's nice

after you live in so many apartments where

the kitchen is inside of the bedroom or

inside of the same room as the living room

or in the corridor. Japanese apartments

are like that. They'll have the kitchen in

the corridor next to the entrance place,

and then you're just like cooking on a

counter. It's like one counter with a

stove and a sink on it. You've got nowhere

to chop the vegetables. There's no

storage. But we've got a whole kitchen.

It's really big. It's not really big,

but it's a lot bigger than Japanese

apartment kitchens. So I'm really happy

with this apartment and the price is

really good. I think it's cheap. She keeps

saying it's expensive still. I don't know

how you can think ¥200 a month is

expensive for this kind of place. The

value for money you get out of this place

is amazing. I think ¥200 a month.

I think it's a steal. I think a place like

this, even for 500 a month, I think would

be a bargain. But she's like, oh, it's

still expensive.

Maybe she thinks, uh, 100 a month is how

much we should be paying if we moved out

of the city, moved maybe on the outskirts

of Bangkok. But I want to be

central. I don't know why, because I never

go outside. It's kind of meaningless for

me to be in a central city because I don't

go out and I don't go and meet people.

It wouldn't make any difference for me.

But I like having the train stations

nearby, so in case I need to escape. I can

easily move around.

I briefly chatted with Casey. He said

@Sushi is his friend. Really? Do you think

Casey chatted to him? I saw Casey on Hube

Summer, this Korean guy who streamed with

Ice Poseidon. I saw him in his chat. So

Casey is still around. Trying to clout

chase. You think, oh, Casey was trying to

be my friend because he likes me or

whatever. He's just a clout chaser. He,

he messages other streamers and tries to

be their friends as well.

Casey wanted to be part of like the

YouTube community and have his own channel

and stuff. He's such a fake, two-faced

person. He'll be like, oh, I like

your channel and I want to be your friend.

But then you see him trying to be friends

with all these other streamers and stuff.

Casey could probably stream with that

Hubesummer. Hubesummer's pretty small,

and I mean, they look the same. They look

like they could be brothers, don't they?

I don't know why Casey was so obsessed

with me though.

Maybe because back then I seemed like I

was a big channel and got a lot of

viewers. I used to get way more viewers

than any of these other people do, like

HughSummit, Suspenders. My channel was way

more popular than theirs was back in 2018,

and I didn't have the help of Ice

Poseidon. Shouting out my channel either.

I grew it all by myself. Didn't need to go

and snipe someone and leech off someone

else's clout to build my channel back

then. Things are different now,

but I can

proudly say that I grew my channel by

myself without any help,

without leeching or anything. Why did

it die? Uh, we're gonna get into that

again. I feel like I've explained why my

channel died so many times. It's because I

got fed up with having to use drama to

keep people interested, and it was just

getting— it was getting people angry,

like my mum and Mila and Chihiro all

getting upset and angry with me. And I

got— I kind of got fed up with it, so I

tried switching content to, to gaming

stuff like Elden Ring, and then I tried

changing it to more wholesome stuff.

And then because of that, I lost all the

toxic viewers, which made up probably 70%

of my viewership.

I think the Elden Ring stuff— I focused on

gaming and Elden Ring for maybe 4 or 5

months. That really drove away a lot of

people. For good, and they probably never

The countdown number is such a high

number, I can't process it. 700 hours.

Well, 770 hours is about a month, isn't

it? I should put a new timer. Time until I

die. How many hours would that be?

If I've got 30 years left, Say I got 35

years left. How many years? How many

hours?

How many hours in a year?

8,760 hours in a

year.

Times that by 35, I'd have 360,000 hours

left. Ticking down. That would be so sad.

Imagine I actually stream. I probably will

still be streaming in 30 years' time.

Have a countdown timer. Time until I die

of old age.

370,000 hours ticking down

until zero. Then I'll be dead. That would

be some depressing stuff.

You tried switching content but didn't

focus enough to actually pivot?

Because, well, when I was with Mila, I

tried to cut out drama stuff because she

would have dumped me if I didn't. So then

I started faking a lot of stuff.

I really didn't know what to do for

content when I was with Mila because she

wouldn't let me. She wouldn't let me do

weird toxic stuff.

So I don't know what I would have done if

Mina never dumped me. Mina dumping me was

a huge relief because then I could go back

to stuff like she dumped me, why I hated

Mina, and there was no one to stop me.

But then Elden Ring really popped off, so

I pivoted to Elden Ring stuff. But then

Elden Ring died. So I went back to my

original content.

I didn't grow a gaming audience. I

clickbaited an Elden Ring audience,

and because I used the popularity of Elden

Ring, they, they didn't really sub to my

channel though. They just clicked on the

video. I didn't grow an audience. I just

leeched off of a gaming audience that was

surrounding Elden Ring at the time. So I

couldn't— I did try to pivot. I tried to

pivot to Lego Star Wars, remember? And

then that didn't work.

Recently I tried to pivot to Hogwarts

Legacy. That didn't work either.

Oh, my PewDiePie video is blowing up.

It's got like 62,000 views now,

but that's not going to grow me an

audience, is it? I'm not going to get an

audience of angry PewDiePie fans. They all

think I'm racist. At first, when the video

first went up and it was mostly my viewers

watching it, I had like 80% likes and

people were agreeing with me, saying that

I've got good points, I've got good

points, and what I'm saying makes sense.

But then the algorithm picked up and all

the PewDiePie viewers came in and they all

hated me. It just kind of shows how stupid

and dumb the PewDiePie fanbase is. I don't

know how they're calling me racist though.

I'm just saying that because PewDiePie's

kid's gonna be white and he's growing up

in an Asian country, here are some

problems he might face. How is that me

being racist? It's just ridiculous.

But PewDiePie's fanbase are like so dumb

and so woke. And so left-wing. I think

they were— I think PewDiePie's viewership

is like really left-wing woke.

So you say anything slightly anti

against the whatever the agenda is,

they're going to call you racist and this

and that. They didn't watch the video.

Yeah, I think most of them just read the

title. I'm like, oh, you racist, because

you're suggesting he shouldn't live in

Japan. I suggested that the kid would

have a happier childhood if he grew up

among kids of, of similar

appearance. I don't think that's an

outlandish thing to say.

Where do you think you're going to— where

are you going to face more racism? Let's

just take actual race out of the question

and we'll We'll just use food. Imagine

you're a banana surrounded

by oranges. Wouldn't you rather be a

banana surrounded by other bananas?

Same concept. How are you going to have

racism if racism doesn't exist in

Japan? If everyone was

Japanese is what I'm saying.

I think it's a fact,

but then they're all like, oh, you're

saying— you're suggesting segregation,

whatever. I mean, you look at the natural

world, animals just stay in the area where

they evolved to survive in, and they don't

really do mass immigration to new areas

unless it's like humans bringing the

animals to a new area. And look what

happens every time humans accidentally

bring an invasive species of animal to

a new area. They completely destroy the

new place that they enter. They destroy

the native populations of animals. They

displace the food chain and completely

wreck everything. Why do you think the

American government lets people hunt down

hogs, wild hogs, because they're an

invasive species and they're destructive

to the environment.

Your title triggered Pew fans. Well,

yeah, I know. I know that my problem with

template really triggers people, and

that's why I use it. Tech Lead copied my

video and he had a lot less provocative

title. I can't remember what it was. But

his video got like a third of the views

mine got, even though he's got way more

subs. Because that title works, it

triggers people, and triggering people and

getting them to comment loads is what gets

the views. Let me see what Tech Lead

called his. Tech Lead didn't really talk

about racial stuff though. He talks more

about financial stuff like inheritance

tax. He just called it PewDiePie having a

baby in Japan, big mistake, and then he

got 24k views. Mine has nearly 65K now,

and I wouldn't be surprised if it goes up

to 100K views. But damn,

PewDiePie's Baby paying my rent for this

month. I made like $150 off that

video. Usually my videos make like $12 or

$15. So to be able to make $150

from one video, it really takes the

pressure off trying to pay for rent this

month.

Means your channel isn't shadowbanned.

Yeah, I know. I've been saying this whole

time my channel is not shadowbanned. It's

just my topics that— the topics I want to

make don't get views because they're not

trending. I'm a nobody. No one cares.

But I'm a narcissist. I want to make

videos about me and my life. Like back in

2018. It worked back then because I had a

viral video called Why I Have No Friends,

and that's what basically got me an

audience. But that stuff doesn't

work now because I'm a nobody who's

trying to be a somebody.

I want a channel where I talk about me and

I'm the star of the show, but now I've got

to resort to latching on to bigger names

to try and get some views. I don't enjoy

doing it. I don't really care about

talking about PewDiePie's baby. But, you

know, I gotta do what I gotta do. So I got

a girlfriend who doesn't pay for anything.

I got rent, I got electric bill, I gotta

pay for the food.

Do a new video why I still have no

friends. I did that back in 2021, got like

30k views. It's not gonna work anymore.

I've seen it on YouTube over and over

again. You get the first video, could get

loads of views, but then you try and do a

second video, get less views, third will

get less. It's diminishing returns. I've

seen gaming channels do let's play series

where the first video gets huge views,

but then part 2 gets 40% less, part 3 gets

20% less, and then it's like smaller and

smaller and smaller. I've never seen it go

small, then bigger, then bigger, then

bigger. It's always big, smaller,

smaller, smaller. Every single time.

Part 2 series, part 3 of like a similar

trend will just get less and less and less

and less.

So it kind of sucks it's come to this

because I would like to make my own

original content using my

own personal life experience and my own

things that are going on. But I

feel like people don't care anymore, so

I've got to change things up.

Become like a commentary channel.

Ideally, I'd be like Sharla. I think

Sharla's great. She's got vlogs, people

love her vlogs, they care about her vlogs,

and then she's got drama sometimes and

they get huge views. I wanted that, you

know, like 200k views just watching me do

a vlog. My weekend trip with my

girlfriend. If Sharla did that with Chris,

oh my god, they would have gone like 300k

views just for like a boring vlog doing a

bit of food, exploring some caves. That

would have been amazing vlog content for

someone like Sharla. But for me, I get

like 5k views now for that stuff.

If I get 200k doing my own stuff, Then

that's what I'd love to do. I don't love

doing stuff like commenting on other

That's not what I want to do on YouTube.

Isn't Charlotte engaged? Yeah, I'm

wondering if I should make a video about

it. My problem with Chris and Charlotte

getting married. What are they gonna do,

live in Japan? Chris himself said he

doesn't want to live in Japan 100% of the

time. So are they both just gonna live in

the UK and then live in Japan and live in

Canada? That sounds like a nightmare,

having to move countries 3 times

a year. I guess they're rich enough to

have a place in Japan, a place in the UK,

a place in Canada,

and then When they decide to have a

family, what are they going to do? Move

back to the UK? Move to Canada?

So if they stay in Japan, it's going to be

the same problems as PewDiePie's kid,

white kid growing up in Japan. If they

move to the UK, it'll be great for Chris

because then his parents can see the baby

all the time. But then it'd be kind of

unfair to Charlotte because then her

parents would— it would be difficult for

her parents to see the baby. People want

to raise and build a family nearby their

parents so the grandparents can be like

part of the family, see the kids growing

up, see their grandkids.

That's why most people want to have a

family and a life near their parents.

Isn't it sad? Like you, you create a

family thousands of miles away from your

parents who are going to die soon.

They're old. Sharla and Chris's parents

are old. They're going to be like mid-60s,

nearing their 70s. Sharla is already

nearly 40. Her parents are going to be

like 80. So they don't have much time left

to spend with their parents. And you want

to spend time with your parents during

their last years of their life with your

kids and like interact with them and have

them see their grandkids before they they

check out of the world. So I think it's

just going to be kind of selfish for them

to live in either the UK or Canada. It's

going to be selfish for one of them.

They don't want kids. Well, then that's

selfish for both of them. Imagine you got

kids that don't want kids. It's like you

just wasted your whole time raising kids

and you got no grandkids.

Imagine not having grandkids.

That just sounds sad.

Your family line is going to end with your

kids. They say, oh, if you have no kids,

then it's like your family ending with you

and you've just like wasted your life.

But then if you have kids that don't have

kids, it's kind of the same thing, isn't

Not everyone needs to procreate. Yeah,

but it's kind of like a selfish existence

if you don't focus on having kids and a

family. It's just like, oh, you live for

yourself and your partner, which a lot of

people do, and it's fine, I guess.

But then, you know, no grandkids for both

sets of grandparents.

What is the point of creating immense

wealth and these YouTube channels

and like a business empire and no one's

there to inherit it? What are you building

it for? Yourself? You're supposed to build

wealth, like generational wealth and

businesses to create financial stability

for your family. That's the whole point of

it. If you're not building a family, then

what's the point building wealth? The

point is you're going to donate it to some

charity.

With that mindset, you know, things like

the British Empire would have never

existed. That's just like loser mentality.

Oh, I'm going to donate to the charity and

not have kids. That's like, oh, that's

like dystopian mentality

where people are just not going to have—

not going to create anything lasting.

The people who built empires would be

rolling their graves at that concept.

They'd be like, oh my God. What are

The people of Napoleon's era, they just

had different mindset. They were just

built different.

I could just clip that and put that into a

video. That's a pretty good speech. My

problem with Sharla and Chris getting

married and not having kids? Is a symbolic

problem with Western society, and it's

going to indicate— it's a big indication

of the downfall of Western civilization.

I think we peaked.

I think we peaked back in the '60s,

Western civilization. Now it's just

I just hope I'm not around to see the

actual downfall because it's gonna be

ugly. You thought the downfall of the

British Empire was ugly? You wait until we