it's nearly time to leave my girlfriend

Testing.

1,

2. Testing.

Testing. Testing.

Testing,

testing,

testing, testing, testing,

testing. Okay,

it has been tested.

Testing over. Conclude testing.

Okay, so let's say, hmm.

How many likes did I get last livestream?

I got 240

likes, so let's say face

reveal at 300 likes,

since it won't probably get to 300 likes.

I don't get why it's so hard for people to

press the like button. There's like 8,000

people who watched the last livestream and

then couldn't even get more than 1% of

them to press one little button.

I can't wait until you're in a different

time zone. It might not be for a while

unless I lose all my money and I go

completely bankrupt and have to go back

home to mummy.

Liar, you will never show her face. I'm

talking about my face, not my girlfriend's

face. Who cares about my girlfriend's

Let me turn that fan spin— fan speed down

a bit. Last time

you asked for 50 likes, why 300 now?

Because 50 was pretty easy to get to. I

don't really want to show my face because

I look gross and sweaty,

so if I'm gonna show my face I want to

at least get some likes out of it.

Oh my God, finally back from the longest

weekend I've ever had. It's also kind of

difficult to talk because I also have a

stupid ulcer under my tongue.

So if I sound like I'm lisping, it's

because it's kind of painful to talk.

But, you know, I ought to do a livestream

anyway because these stupid mouth ulcers

take like a week to heal. I can't take

another week off. I need to, I need to get

back on the grind, on the YouTube grind.

Why is my body falling apart? I swear,

since I came to Thailand, I've had so many

problems with my body.

First, my, my thigh skin was all itchy and

flaky, and then I got this thing on my

lip, like a Like a blister

on my lip. People saying it's herpes, but

it's not herpes, okay?

And now I've had this problem with my

fingers for like 2 weeks now. Now the

stupid ulcer on my tongue. My body

is just dying. It's like one thing after

another. I think it's stress.

I've been so stressed out this last

weekend.

So we went to this concert, this music

festival, which is in Kauko, which is like

2 provinces away. So it took about 6 hours

to drive there and

then 6 hours back. The drive was brutal.

It was so boring sitting in a car

listening to music all the time.

Vitamin deficiency. Yeah, it could be.

I'm not eating as much fruit as I used to.

I used to have like 2 oranges, an apple,

and a banana every day. Now I rarely even

have an orange. And I'm also— well, I was

drinking less water over the weekend

because I didn't want to pee in the car.

So I went to Kauko, which is 2 provinces

away. It took ages to get to and I

had to meet a bunch of her friends and

family, which is really annoying.

Fortunately, I got out

of meeting 4 of the friends because they

came to the concert but they forgot to

bring their tickets. Typical Thai, people

can't even remember anything. I'm getting

this recurring theme with Thai people,

is that they, they have terrible planning

skills. They forget stuff all the time.

And they do really weird stuff for no

reason. For example, I don't know what

happened, but we was at this hotel after

the concert and her cousin and the

cousin's sister also was at the hotel. By

the way, if it's the sister of a cousin,

then that's also your cousin. She's like,

my cousin and his sister. That means she's

your cousin as well. You know, you could

have just said my cousins, plural. But her

cousins were also at the same hotel. So

she went down to say hi or something, and

then she came back up and then she went

back down again to give a key card. And I

was like, why did you have the key card?

And then she was like, because I used the

toilet. And I was like, why didn't you use

our toilet? And then she was like,

because they went out and I had to use the

toilet. And then I came back up, but they

needed the key card to go back up too. So

I need to go back down. So you give them

the key— why did you take their keycard?

Why didn't you use our toilet? I don't get

it. It's like nothing they do ever makes

any sense. You know, in Thai hotels, you

need the keycard to get back in the

elevator to come back up. So why would you

take their keycard knowing that they would

need it to get back up in the first place?

It's like they don't think ahead of time.

They just do stuff that doesn't make any

sense half the time.

So 4 of these friends of hers I was

supposed to meet came all the way to the

concert and didn't even check once to make

sure that they had the tickets or not. So

then they had to go back to get their

tickets, and they came back later after we

left. Oh my God,

it was just a nightmare because then the

previous day I had to meet her other

cousin with a wife and 2 kids And then we

were hanging out with these kids. These

kids were like 5 years old and 3 years

old. And one of the kids we brought in our

car, in her car, and then it was sitting

on my lap in the front of the car,

fiddling with all the dashboard and making

a mess, knocking stuff over. It was so

annoying. I knew I never liked kids.

I hate kids so much, but that just kind of

cemented how much I hate kids. It was so

annoying. Stupid little kid. Standing on

the seat, messing stuff. If that was my

kid, oh my God, hands would be flying.

I'd be like, just sit the fuck down, you

stupid little shit. My God, if that was my

kid, the belt would be coming off, I

swear. I can't stand kids just thinking

they can do anything they want to because

they've got stupid soft parents that don't

discipline them. Stupid kids.

My girlfriend obviously loves kids because

she was like, "Ah, why are you so cute?"

And then like squeezing his face and

giving him lots of cakes and holding his

hand. That is the problem. You got these

people who love kids too much. They treat

the kids like they're little cute animals

or little cats, and then they spoil them

rotten, like giving them anything they

want. They have a little bit of a tantrum,

like, and then they're like. Oh, here you

go, don't cry, have this sugar-filled

sweet. Then the kid goes crazy because

he's had a load of kids.

Parents don't know how to discipline kids

properly. I can just

see she would spoil kids so much, and then

the kids would just grow up to be spoiled

brats. I think it's better to have a

parent who hates kids than a parent who

over-smothers the kid.

Anyway, it was so annoying because it

was so awkward. We went to this cafe where

they serve tea and cake. Oh, thanks,

Owl Knight, very generous 99 pennies.

Yeah, we went to this cafe and I just

said, hi, nice to meet you. And then I sat

down and I just stared at the floor the

whole time. It was so awkward. I just sat

there. My girlfriend was playing with her

nephews and then the cousin and the

cousin's wife. I don't know if they're

actually married or not. They were just

sitting there. And then the cousin did try

to talk to me a little bit. He was like,

what did you do in Bangkok? And I said,

oh, we visited some temples. And my

girlfriend said, no, what do you do in

Bangkok? And I said, oh, uh, play games.

And then she was like, you're an artist,

right? And I said, yeah, I guess

sometimes. I hate it when people keep

asking me what I do in Bangkok. I don't do

anything. I play video games and I fuck my

girlfriend. Mind your own bloody business.

I don't do shit because I'm a famous

YouTuber. Suck on my nutsack, idiot. As if

I work like you, peasant wage slave.

Imagine I'm here for work. Yeah, I'm here

for work. I'm here on a business trip.

I've got some business meetings in Bangkok

with my associates. I'm starting up my own

business. We're gonna sell British peanuts

in Bangkok. No, I play Call of Duty all

day long and I jerk off, idiot. Ask me a

stupid question over and over. What do you

do in Bangkok? So what are you here for?

Or what could you do for a living? Why

don't you mind your own business? Hate

people asking me that. Ugh,

I swear I want to neck someone next time

they ask me that stupid question.

Why does everyone always have to be doing

something? Can't I just be doing nothing?

So I sat in this stupid cafe for like an

hour whilst my girlfriend was fiddling

with her nephew. And I just opened up my

phone after a while because I got so

bored. And then the cousin started asking

me questions and trying to talk to me.

Could barely hear what he was saying

because the cafe was like echoey and I

didn't like the traffic nearby. And then

we went to a famous noodle shop. Every

time we go past like a restaurant, she's

always pointing out, oh, this is a famous

noodle shop. And I'm like, oh, another

famous noodle shop. Great. They all taste

the freaking same. It's just like salty

water with some noodles in it and a bit of

chicken. It's not that great, it just

tastes like instant ramen. So I went to

this famous noodle shop.

That was boring as well.

And then afterwards, uh, where do we go

I really felt like I wish I wasn't in this

relationship on that day. I hate having to

meet people's family, and it's even worse

when they've got kids. I can't stand

it. I don't want to meet these people. I

don't know who they are. I don't care who

they are. I don't want to make chitchat

with them, but I have to because she drags

me along.

And I had to meet these other friends. We

went to the concert. I didn't even say a

word to them. I said hi and then I never

said a single word to them. And then on

the way back, the friend's boyfriend came

with us because he needed a lift back to

Bangkok. So then the entire car trip had

this stranger sitting in the backseat,

which I didn't like because I wanted to

relax, but I didn't feel like I could.

And then this boyfriend, for some reason,

his hair was all gray. I don't know how

old he was. Must be like 40, but must be

like 50. I swear you don't have that many

gray hairs when you're 40. But he had like

70% of his hair was all gray and white.

So this friend of hers must be like

40-something to have a boyfriend who's

like 50. There's no way your hair's that

gray when you're 40.

So he was sat in the back of the car for

like 6 hours.

I hate all this, having to meet all these

stupid people. I didn't say a word to him.

I guess he doesn't speak English, so it's

okay.

I must look so weird whenever she brings

me along because I just like tag along.

Dragging my heels, not saying anything,

not even trying to say hi or anything. It

must look really weird, but I'm just at

this breaking point where I don't give a

damn. I don't give a crap how weird I

look. I just— I can't be bothered.

I'm so fed up having to meet all these

damn people. It's so annoying. The great

thing about Chihiro was she never dragged

me along when she went to meet family or

friends. She, she introduced me to like a

few friends in the beginning, and then she

realized Daniel's kind of weird. It's a

bit embarrassing. I think I won't take him

anymore. And then she stopped bringing me

along when she went to meet friends, and

that was great. I'm hoping

the Thai girl comes to the same

conclusion.

Because I don't think I can stomach

anymore having to meet relatives.

Problem is people don't know what to talk

to me about. Usually my family in Malaysia

or the UK, they'll ask me about Japan

because that's like what I'm known for.

I'm known for going to Japan a lot and

speaking Japanese, so they always just

say, so When are you going to Japan again,

Daniel? That's all they ever ask me in

the, in the UK or Malaysia because they

don't know anything else about me, about

what I'm really interested in. No one

knows what I'm really interested in

because I keep it a secret,

or people just don't really care enough to

know. They, they just know me at like a

face level, shallow, very shallow surface

level. So I never have interesting

conversations with anyone because it's

like no one understands me. And then

obviously strangers who don't know

anything about my OnlyFans and YouTube

stuff, they don't know what to talk to me

about either. They try to talk about video

games, but as someone who likes video

games, talking about video games is so

boring because all you just say is, so

what kind of video games do you like? I

Oh, I like Rainbow Six. What do you like?

Oh, I like League of Legends. Oh,

I know that game. What do you even talk

about when it comes to video games? You

just start listing off a bunch of games

you like and

it never gets any more complicated than

that. How about, what are your thoughts on

the new XXX game? And they'll say, oh,

it's pretty good, I guess. Rather lacking

in luster.

Some things you can be really into, but

then you don't really want to talk about

it. It's like I like cereal, but I

don't care about talking about it in

detail.

I hate making small talk. It's so

irritating.

And then I was getting frustrated with my

girlfriend because Every time I'm a tiny

bit cynical or a bit critical over things,

I don't think she likes it. For example,

I was having a bit of a moan at these

Buddhist temples. You know, in these

Buddhist temple places, you always got to

take off your damn shoes to go into the

place. I hate it. I gotta bend down,

untie my shoelace, take my shoe off, and

then when we come back, I'll bend down

again, put my shoe back on, tie my

shoelace up again. Well, it's very hard

right now to tie stuff up because my

finger condition has gotten so bad. I'll

talk about my fingers later, but I hate

having to take off my shoes and put them

back on. So I said, I don't

understand why these Buddhist places make

you take your shoes off. If it's for

hygiene reasons, then surely it's better

to have people to wear their shoes than

walk around in the sweaty bacteria-crusted

bare smelly feet getting all over the

floor, making it all stinky. And then she

was like, she pointed at another

foreigner. She was like, oh, look over

there, he's a foreigner and he has open

mind. I hope you can be open-minded too

for your happiness and my happiness.

What do you mean open-minded? Isn't asking

questions the definition of being

open-minded? I'm pretty sure being

closed-minded means you don't question

anything. Maybe that's why 80% of bloody

Asia is ruled by autocracies and

dictators, because they never question

anything. They just follow rules blindly

without thinking, I wonder why we have to

do that. I wonder why this rule exists.

No, they just follow stuff like a bunch of

blind sheep, and then they wonder, oh,

how come Xi Jinping is telling us what to

do? How come we don't get to vote our

leaders? Because you don't question any

bloody thing because you're so

close-minded. And then you're like, oh,

this is the proper way, the tradition.

Stupid idiots telling me that I'm

close-minded. I'm the most open-minded,

thinking outside of the box person you

could ever come across. I question and

criticize literally almost anything within

reason.

What is the reason of taking your shoes

off at these Buddhist temples and places?

I understand if it's like a temple, it's

got a nice carpet. Sure, take your shoes

off. But then you've got these big outside

areas that has like tile flooring and

you've got to take your shoes off even

though you're outside. And then people are

walking around barefoot, spreading their

toe fungal stuff or whatever they've got

on their foot. I think it would be more

hygienic to just keep your shoes on.

So I brought up that point and she wasn't

pleased and then called me, said that I'm

not open-minded.

You're not open-minded because you never

question anything or you never want to

discuss stuff like that. She says, oh,

respect the culture. Why don't you respect

my nutsack? Not respecting shit.

And then I got a bit snappy. I was getting

kind of moody. Her phone had no battery

left, and then she wanted me to plug it

into the charger. And it just really

triggers my anxiety whenever she sets off

in the car and she doesn't prepare

anything like plugging her phone in. She

knows every time we get in the car, she

plugs the phone in. So why not just get it

plugged in before you switch the engine

on? I don't understand why you start doing

stuff when you're already driving, like

moving 80 miles per hour on the motorway,

and then you decide, oh, I need to plug

this in. Didn't you think of that before

you started to move off? And then I said,

wouldn't— why don't you prepare stuff

before we move off? And then she was like,

oh, Why don't you want to help me? I help

you with lots of things. Can't you help me

do this one little thing? And I was like,

okay. And then we just had like silent

awkwardness, awkward silence for the next

2 hours in the car.

So irritating. You know you're going to do

something, so why don't you just set it up

and prepare it before you move off in the

car? Why do you have to do everything like

fiddly little things whilst moving at 100

miles per hour? It's just dangerous.

I would never think to touch my phone

whilst driving.

There's no way. For example, sometimes I

think on the way back from the hospital

when I was taking my mum, I forgot to, to

set up the sat nav. So I just didn't use

the sat nav all the way home. It was okay

because my sister was next to me, but I

wouldn't start fiddling with stuff whilst

driving because I'm a very anxious driver.

So the idea of like looking at your phone

and plugging wires in and doing stuff just

doesn't make sense to me. I don't

understand why you don't do that stuff

before you start moving.

And she's got crap all over the, the gear

stick, and the handbrake is always like

covered under bags and shopping

bags full of snacks, and she's always

reaching behind to grab plastic bags and

get snacks. Or she's always got her phone

in her bag, her handbag, which is always

full of stuff, and then The phone and the

cards were right at the bottom, and then

she's like frantically trying to search

for the cards before we get to a motorway

It triggers my anxiety so much.

Oh, she'll be driving and no hands on the

steering wheel while she's on her phone.

It's just absolutely crazy.

It had one emergency brake. Over the six

hours of driving yesterday, which is okay,

I guess.

But she keeps accelerating into queues of

traffic, even though it's kind of obvious

they're slowing down. But then she

accelerates into them. If you see a queue

of traffic ahead of you slowing down, you

take your foot off the gas. You don't put

the gas down hard. She emergency brake us.

Oh, thanks, Lao Fu.

What is a pop-up doll?

Oh my God, I hate car trips. Well,

she keeps complaining that I don't smile

as well in the car, in the car trips,

because when I get in the car, I get

motion sickness. So I try and stay as

still as possible. And then she said, you

look like a statue. You don't smile.

Why are you so quiet? There's nothing to

talk about. I'm just trying to stay still

so I don't get a headache. What do you

want me to do, start raving in the car?

And then other people, other drivers in

Thailand are so irritating. They keep

switching lanes without indicating. So

every time you overtake someone, you have

to be really aware. You can't just

overtake someone because in Thailand—

wait, I can hear someone.

In Thailand, when they, when they're about

to switch lanes, they'll start edging

towards the lines. So you can

kind of see that they're thinking about

switching lanes, but then they just kind

of do it suddenly without any indications.

They don't indicate ever. They just start

switching lanes whether you're approaching

fast from behind or not. It's like they

don't even check their mirrors. They just

go, I'm going to change lane. No mirror,

no signal. Even if we're coming up from

behind really quickly. They're so dumb. I

don't know how these people get driving

licenses. See like 5 crashes on the

motorway when driving for a few hours.

You always see at least a couple. Just

cars stopped and people outside probably

exchanging details, or like a police car

trying to manage a situation. And then

everyone's breaking the speed limit all

the time. You see like warnings, 80

kilometers per hour speed limit, and my

girlfriend's going like 120. Danny boy,

you're gonna leave your GF, huh? Cringe.

Oh, thanks, Jenkins. Yeah, soon.

Maybe one day. So everyone's breaking

the speed limits all the time. It says 50

or 80 and they're always going like double

the speed limit. And then we even go

through red lights. Sometimes it goes red

and then she just drives through it

anyway. It's like the highway code is,

is not followed here. No one cares. They

just ignore all the highway codes or rules

that the Thai government tried to put in

place. So how do you enforce it when

literally everyone's breaking it? Do you

just fine everyone? You got people

riding motorbikes without a helmet. You

got people, pickup trucks, 5 people

sitting in the back, no safety belts at

all. You got like families on mopeds. I

saw like a man, 2 kids, and a mum on the

back of a moped. 4 people. And the kid was

like standing up on the seat.

These people are crazy.

Got people holding massive suitcases on

the back of a moped,

but oh no, you gotta take your shoes off

in the temple because that's important.

The priority is just all over the place.

I hate it when they just suddenly swerve.

They go weaving in and out of lanes

nonstop. What's the point? You see people

in the right lane weaving over to the left

lane, people in the left lane or the

middle lanes weaving over to the right

lane. They're just weaving. It's like,

imagine a DNA strand shape where it's just

weaving in and out. Left to right, left to

right. It's just like that. Why don't you

stay still in your own lane? It wouldn't

make any difference. You weave to the

left, the other person in the left weaves

to the right. It's just constant weaving

because they don't have any patience.

Would be stuck in one queue. So she

frantically gets out of the queue and

then gets into a less queued up lane on

the left or right. But then we get into

that lane and so does everyone else and we

get stuck in a new lane whilst the lane we

just left starts moving.

It's so silly. Does her driving

scare you? It doesn't scare me because her

reaction skills are quite good and she can

brake when she needs to. It, it just

triggers me. It makes me angry because

I had my balls grilled for like 60 hours

whilst I was doing driving lessons because

I had a very strict driving instructor

with very high standards. And the driving

in England is just so much better.

Everyone has much— I've never seen anyone

in England not use their indicator. Does

her driving scare you, bro? I'd be scared

if you saw someone make a turn or change

lanes without indicating in the UK.

People would be shaking their heads and

tutting. I've never seen that in the UK.

People weaving in and out of lanes. You

see it sometimes if there's like a, like a

boy racer type person,

but it's very uncommon to see.

But here, you know, in the UK you've got

BMW drivers who have this reputation of

being selfish and bad at driving

and very aggressive. That's basically

every driver in Thailand. Basically every

driver in Thailand is a BMW driver.

They're all really aggressive. They're all

really inconsiderate. They all think that

they're the only one on the road. They

never check around them properly.

I don't know if it's like an intelligence

thing. I don't get how an entire nation of

people can be so bad at driving.

It's astounding. It's unbelievable.

I'm leaving if he doesn't stop this drive

talk. Why? You don't

like the driving, Rent? The UK probably

has one of the highest standards of

driving.

I've seen UK driving instructors on

YouTube, um, they'll have like an American

student or viewer come on to do a mock

test, and then Americans just suck at the

British mock tests. Like, they never

change— they never check the mirrors

before indicating, and they never do

observations.

I don't know what the driving is like in

Japan. I'm guessing Japanese people are

better drivers because they always— just

like the stereotype in Family Guy. Haha,

tears of joy, tears of joy. Well,

that Asian woman who just cuts across the

entire highway and then causes a massive

pileup. Yeah, that's where the stereotype

probably comes from. I reckon the driving

in Japan would be better because Japanese

people tend to be kind of OCD when it

comes to rules. I remember in Korea you

would hear the horns of cars going off

nonstop. Interesting thing is you don't

hear horns a lot in Thailand, even though

the driving here is chaotic. People are

not angry. There's— I don't really feel

like there's road rage here. In the UK,

there's loads of viral videos of people

just having road rage and then getting out

of the car, trying to have a fight. Like

that Ronnie Pickering guy. Do you remember

that meme, that viral video? It's like,

I'm Ronnie Pickering, and it's just like

this fat English guy screaming out the

window. There's a lot of road rage that

happens in the UK and the US, but here in

Thailand, people might, might do like a

warning little beep, like beep beep, but

they're not going beep and then slamming

their fist on the horn. But in Korea, it

was like aggressive beeping all the time.

It was like people just effing each other

off all the time using the beeps in Korea.

But not— it's not like that in Thailand,

even though the driving is a bit crazy.

Anyway, I think that's the end of my

driving rant. I was in the

car for like 6 hours going there and then

coming back. Had a few breaks to get some

drinks, listened to a lot of music.

I noticed that a lot of music I like does

not sound good in a car. Because there

seems to be a certain type of music that

works well in a car. In a car when it's

noisy, because my girlfriend's car is not

very soundproof, so you can hear the

traffic, the cabin noise as they call it,

is quite loud. So you need music that has

clear vocals, a catchy beat, and doesn't

rely too much on bass. Oh, thank you.

You're not looking for a relationship.

You're looking for a subservient,

submissive robo girl that causes you 0%

stress. Inconvenience, lol, blow up doll.

Yeah, I want a perfect girlfriend who

doesn't piss me off and gives good cereal

and comes with benefits like cheap rent.

Why would you not? Every time you think of

a relationship, someone that you're going

to be a partner with, you weigh up the

pros and cons. Oh my God, I dropped my

microphone. Is it working?

Testing. Why does everyone act as if a

relationship is any different to weighing

up the pros and cons of anything else you

decide in your life. Why they'll think,

oh, Daniel's a sociopath because he only

sees the relationship as a transaction.

Everything in life, you weigh up the pros

and cons, don't you? Like when you're

thinking of getting a new car, you think,

oh, is this good value for my money? Is it

better than my old car? Does it do this?

Does it do that? What are the cons? And

you think about the same things with

everything. Getting a job, you know, how

far away is it? Is the pay good? Is the

job suited to my personality? What about

this apartment? Is it good value for

money? Is the rent high or too much? Is it

too far away from where I work?

Obviously, when you're in a relationship,

you've also got to weigh up pros and cons.

But then when you start talking about it

like that, everyone's like, oh, you're

supposed to be with her because you love

her. And it's

not a calculative transaction, is it?

Yes, it fucking is. Everyone is,

either consciously or subconsciously,

they're thinking— women are the worst at

this, by the way. Women are way more

calculative when it comes to trying to

decide whether they should be with a man

or not than men ever are, because men fall

in love and have puppy love way more than

women do. The women have to be way more

calculative because, you know, they got to

think biologically, do I want to be with

this man? Do I want to be the mother of

his kids? Because that is a big resource

burden on their bodies to have to give

birth. So they're going to pick the guy

very carefully if they're choosing someone

as a long-term relationship. Most women,

they want to have boyfriends because they

envisage, envision being together with

the man for the rest of their lives.

They're thinking I'm only dating this

guy because I think he has a good chance

of being my lifetime, lifelong partner.

A lot of women don't want to waste their

time because women only have like 10 years

after the age of 20. They got to think

quickly. I'm talking about the majority of

women who are, who want a family. And that

is as a percentage. The majority of women

do want a family and they do want a

husband. They don't just fuck around.

Sure, there's some people who just want to

fuck around, but that's like a small

group. And then there's young girls.

Obviously young girls want to have fun and

fuck around, but they get around to age of

25 and then they start thinking, yeah, I

need to look for a guy long term. What's

my point again?

Yeah, so women have to think a lot more

carefully than men do because they've got

less time. So they're way more

calculative, thinking things like, oh,

does this man make enough money? Is Is he

going to embarrass me in front of my

family? Does he drive a car? What are his

pros and cons? And women just go through

men like, like they're buying shoes

because they're trying to find the right

guy. Women do it

all the time. Men do it too, but they do

it to a lesser degree. But I still

think people think of a relationship,

pros and cons, how it can benefit them.

Or what the drawbacks are, and then they

decide based on that whether they should

continue in a relationship or if they

should break up.

So yeah, I am looking for a relationship,

but I want a good relationship like

everyone else does. I don't want a crap

relationship where it's just con, con,

con, and drawbacks. What are the pros and

cons I offer? Well, I'm paying for nearly

everything. So that's

a pretty big one. Also, I provide intimacy

and serial and physical

romance. Maybe I am lacking a bit with the

emotional side of the relationship.

Most women, they are unhappy with me

because I'm not a very— I'm not a very

romantic or emotional person.

I'm not like bringing chocolates and roses

and saying stuff like, oh, I love you,

baby. I get annoyed easily and

I close off my emotional side most of the

time. And then women feel like they can't

create a connection with me because I'm

not giving them 100% when it comes to the

emotional part.

That's usually because I don't actually

have any emotions. In the relationship,

the only time it did was probably with

Sounds like you're looking for slaves.

Well, yeah, in the ideal, in an ideal

world, I would just have a bunch of sex

slaves, wouldn't I? But unfortunately,

that is illegal, and I'm not into

kidnapping people because kidnapping

people would be such pain in the backside,

wouldn't it? First, you need a van. To

grab them, and then you need to subdue

them or maybe knock them out somehow. So

you might need to use brute force, and

then you need to tie them up in a place

and make sure they don't escape. So you

need like a secure area that no one ever

sees, which would take a lot of work.

You'd need to dig out like an underground

bunker with a secret entrance and then

keep them trapped in there. And then you

got to feed them and water them and And

then bring the medicine if they get sick.

And then if they escape, you're screwed.

You're going to go to jail for life. I

seen that movie with that guy kidnaps that

little girl and creates like this

underground bunker for her. And then she

escapes and then he ends up jumping in

front of a train to avoid getting caught.

I don't want a life where you got to

constantly think and worry about some

person you've got trapped in your

basement. That is not a stress-free life.

What if I want to go to Japan? She's going

to starve in the basement.

And obviously I wouldn't be able to afford

a slave because if slave trade was illegal

again, like in the good old days, only

rich people could afford slaves back then.

Your common, average, everyday Joe was not

able to buy a slave. You'd have to be some

rich white guy who owns a factory to be

able to buy slaves. So even if it was

legal, I'm not the kind of person who

could afford it.

And it's better that the girl has— the

girlfriend has free will because then she

does stuff herself, like she washes

herself. She goes to work herself. I don't

want to have to do everything for her. So

unfortunately, I need a girl to be— um,

hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC.

Take a seat. She needs to be willing to be

in a relationship because I'm not doing

all this stuff for her. I don't have to

wash her butt crack, keep her clean.

Why I would hate to be a slave owner.

It's too much work. What's Chris

Hansen up to these days? Retired off his

own Ecion money.

I just want a girlfriend who's out of

sight but not completely out of

mind. So she comes back in the evening,

she gets her own stuff done herself

so I don't have to worry about it.

Unfortunately, she needs to be conscious.

Yeah. 5 reasons I hate my girlfriend.

She's too conscious and awake for

too much of the time. I like it when she's

knocked out from sleepiness,

not violence.

The whole sex doll thing doesn't work

either. I tried out a love doll,

remember? It was weird. The sex was

not good, although it was better than some

of the bad sex I've had in life. But then

you gotta keep it clean, you got to keep

washing it, otherwise it gets gross and

moldy inside of the hole.

Wait, I need to poop.

Okay, what was I saying? The love doll was

not a good solution either because,

because it never moves and it can't do

many positions. You don't want to be under

it, and having to move its limbs around

was very tiring. And then moving it about

was very stressful as well because it was

so damn heavy. And the problem with the

love doll I found was that there's no

limits because it's not a real person.

You don't have to care about its feelings,

which means you can just bang it all day

long. And if you're sitting around alone

in an apartment naked all the time and

getting bored, you end up banging it like

10 times a day and it starts to make you

kind of demented. I felt like I was

turning into an animal when Chihiro kicked

me out and I was in that Airbnb with that

love doll. I would just bang it like 10

times a day. I'd bang it, go back to

Rainbow Six, then bang it again half an

hour later, and then back to Rainbow Six.

An hour later, I'd bang it again. It was

just like all day banging, and then it

just starts making you go kind of weird

mentally. It's like, imagine you

let a fat person into a shop And they can

just eat anything. They'll just eat

everything, get really, really fat, and

then suffocate or something. Why were you

always naked? Because it was summer and it

was just so hot. The good thing about

women is it gives you limits. She's not

going to let you bang her like 15 times a

day. She's going to get sore, or she's

eventually going to get her period. Most

women don't want to do it that many times

anyway. They'll do it once and then

they'll feel satisfied.

But with a love doll, it's like

never-ending. There's no, there's no,

there's no clear indication when you

should stop, cuz you don't have to stop.

You can just keep doing it whenever you

want to. So it

was driving me a little bit crazy. I felt

like I was turning into like a, like

Gollum. If Gollum was sex obsessed

and just going decrepit and degenerate.

It was just weird. I didn't like that

feeling. Things like

sex and nice things, they should be

a limited treat that you treat yourself

with once in a while. You're not supposed

to gorge on it. It's not good for the body

or the mind. These should be occasional

treats that you do now and then, not all

day long.

I think it probably also destroys the

dopamine system. The whole feeling

good and reward system in your mind gets

chemically affected in a bad way.

Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a sex doll

because they're, they're a little bit too

good and it's too much work keeping it

clean.

I'm pretty sure you have some sex

addiction. Yeah, I even have a video about

it. It's one of my most famous videos,

but I can go a few nights without doing

it. It depends if I've got a full belly

after having a big dinner. I don't really

feel like doing it. And if I feel sleepy

or tired, I don't really feel like doing

it. It's usually during the day I really

want to do it.

Because in the morning I'm too, too sleepy

from waking up. And then at night I'm too

sleepy because it's been a whole day. I

need to rest. But then during the day I

feel the most energetic and ready to go.

So it's nice when it's the weekend, she's

not at work and we just do it during the

day. It really fulfills that part.

Of my cravings.

How often do I watch porn? I watch it

sometimes, usually when she goes out and I

just put it on. It's nice to have a bit

of variety. Outside of cheating, watching

porn is the only way you get variety.

Sometimes I want to jerk off and come to

another woman's body because I get a bit

bored. I want a bit of variation.

Do I watch gay porn? I have tried it a few

times. Uh, it was

okay. I wouldn't watch it a lot.

I'd watch it like a few times just out of

curiosity. If I'm in a weird mood, I might

search up a lot of weird kinds of porn or

very specific scenarios like naked

and sweaty in a jungle.

Otherwise, I just type in Japanese girl

banged. That's usually my go-to.

Do I ever look at furry porn? I've tried

it a few times, but I don't get it. It's

just kind of weird. Thanks for the caution

on buying a love doll, Dan. Oh, thanks,

Jenkins. Yeah, if you are struggling with

finding a girlfriend, and you've given up.

I don't recommend a love doll, to be

honest. I think you're better off using

the money on— I

don't know, maybe get some nice clothes

and use the money for dates

and go on a bunch of dates, and then

eventually you'll get a girlfriend. How

many dates did it take me to get a

girlfriend this year?

How many dates have I gone on? I had a

Polish girl, Polish woman in London,

2 British girls, that fat

Singaporean-Filipino girl in London,

and oh yeah,

that fat English woman. So I had 5

dates, 5 other women before I got my

girlfriend. So 1 out of 6

women, actually 3 out of 6 women

wanted to date me. So British girls also—

the fat British girlfriend wanted to date

me. So that was 3 British girls wanted to

date me, but they were all not up to my

standards. The first British woman was so

fat. She had a daughter as well. We met on

Tinder and then she said, do you want to

meet up tonight? And it was the day that

that massive storm came in England,

knocked out the power. My mum was upset

because I went and met this woman and

stayed at her house. And then my mum was

left in the house alone without any power.

And she was like, oh, you leave your poor

mum alone.

So I went to this fat British woman's

house and she was so fat. Instant I saw

her, I regretted it. But we did

it all over the house. We did it on her

sofa, on the floor. She was probably one

of the fattest persons I did, did it with.

And then she wanted to meet again. I

blocked her. I think she reported me on

Tinder. I don't know.

The only good bit was when we woke up in

the middle of the night and then we just

randomly did it. And then in the morning,

I remember waking up and her hand was in

my pants and she was like fumbling around

for it, stroking it. I like that when you

wake up in the morning, you've got a hand

in your pants. It's pretty hot. How fat

was she? She was huge. Like, imagine the

Michelin tire man, just like a big round

body.

Big round, like a big pear-shaped

body. Massive. She weighed

probably like 150 kg at least.

And she had this daughter as well, but she

was at the dad's house because they were

divorced or something.

So it took me going through 6 women to

find my current girlfriend, who I think is

a lot better. The best thing about my

girlfriend is she's not fat. She's really

slim and she's got nice hair.

I think she's got a good hairline, good

volume. The only problem is her hair keeps

falling out. The floor gets covered in her

hairs, but she's not going bald or

anything. There's no scalp visible,

but then she drops a lot of hair. I don't

know how, unless she's just touching it

all the time and making it fall out.

Didn't she look fat on Tinder? No, the

only photos she had were of her face above

the shoulders.

If these girls show their entire bodies,

like a full body photo on Tinder, they'll

never get any matches. So don't start

whining at me because I am a liar. These

women, they all lie all the time. If they

were honest, they would have like a full

body photo on Tinder. But they know if

they do that, they're not going to get any

matches. Look at

Tomoko, full of filters, lied to me about

their age. Women lie way more than men do.

At least men are kind of honest with what

they look like. Women know that their

number one strength is their looks. So

when a woman doesn't have the looks, then

she'll just try and use makeup and all

these different camera angles to hide the

fact that she's not very appealing. And

then in the same way, you know, men who

don't make a lot of money, best way to do

for men is just lie about what you do for

Then men's most— man's

most powerful asset is the money he makes.

And women's most powerful asset is the way

she looks.

And most women don't look as good as they

want to look, and most men don't make as

much money as they wish they made. And

this breeds all kinds of insecurities and

lies because it's hard to make more money.

You think, oh, why would you lie about it?

Why don't you just make more money? Well,

I'm trying and cranking out more videos.

I'm doing more streams. I'm doing Twitch.

How did you manage to have cereal with big

girl? Tears of joy. Well,

it was tricky, but you

know, you find the hole eventually.

Sometimes you don't know if it's actually

the hole or if it's just like,

like a gap in between the flubs.

The, um, the fat layers. Sometimes you get

the dick in between the fat layers, but

you soon realize it's not the right one.

It was a bit weird because when you do

missionary, usually you're on top of the

girl and she's got her legs around you and

you're kind of doing a bench position over

the girl. But with a really fat girl,

you're just kind of lying on top of her

like you're lying on top of a beanbag.

And then you're rolling up and down on top

of her belly. And then you can't do— you

can't do— you can't do it when she's on

top of you. That's just impossible.

Unless you enjoyed having a broken pelvis.

Doggy style is kind of tricky as well.

It's not impossible, but it's not as good.

Skinny girls are just way better.

It was like swimming in an ocean of fat,

rolling around on top of an exercise ball,

diving into a beanbag.

It was just weird. And then the stomach

area is the most ugly part because the

stomach is just— it's like this massive,

wide, big square-looking

wobbly jelly of fat.

It's so unattractive.

But, you know, you matched on Tinder, you

went to her house, you're in the bedroom,

you gotta get the job done. You can't back

out now. It's too late to back out. It'd