sad and lonely on my Birthday...

Testing.

Ah, it's working.

I just got back from the outside.

So cold outside. I can't go out

for very long. Oh my God, my tripod's

Yeah, fixed it. Okay,

so I'm streaming on my flip phone because

the iPhone sounds really bad. No one told

me yesterday. The mic is way

better on this phone. Also, the iPhone mic

is here. So I kept blowing into it,

blowing out the Ps. But the Samsung mics

are on the top and the bottom, not on the

front, which is much better.

Stupid Apple, can't even place the mic in

a good place. Like, why would I want the

mic— why would I want the mic here when

I'm holding it like this and I'm obviously

blowing air at the screen?

I thought Apple was supposed to be good at

So for my birthday, I got

a hot dog and

Belgian choco cake and

I got an apple pie.

Wait, let me zoom in.

Got apple pie,

Hotto Doggo,

Belgian chocolate,

and I

got this Zone energy drink.

I thought I'd try that. Looks kind of

interesting. Maybe it's gonna like make me

go all electric with energy.

There's my birthday feast.

I might turn off the on-screen chat.

Uh, stupid tripod. Why is

it doing that?

Um, oh, I know it's there. Oh, I know it's

there. So stupid. Just move

the on-screen chat to the right. Haha,

genius.

My leftovers from yesterday. I still got

the noodle thing if I'm hungry.

I might go down and heat it up.

Oh, my tripod won't stand up anymore.

There, haha, fixed it. Okay, I heated it

up before I came back to my room, but I

think it's cold again.

It's so cold outside. Well,

God, stupid tripod. Oh my

God, just when I fixed

I accidentally touched the cable.

Yeah, it's freezing cold outside. Sucks

going outside now.

I think my hot dog's cold.

Whatever. Kanpai, guys!

Wow!

Pretty good.

Try the energy drink. I bet it just tastes

like Red Bull.

It tastes exactly like Red Bull.

Tastes like those, those sweets melted

down into a drink.

Did I speak with my mum today? No.

Is it morning yet? She didn't say happy

birthday.

My Malaysian auntie messaged me, said

happy birthday,

but then nothing else.

Nice hot dog would be better if it was

hotter. It's not very hot, not a hot dog.

I found some popcorn now.

Zone Energy.

I could win a PlayStation 5.

See if I won the PlayStation 5.

Come on, it's my birthday!

How do I find— oh, here.

Oh, don't steal

my QR code! Did I win PlayStation 5?

Someone's trying to steal my QR code.

Come on, PS5.

Nope, it's all in Japanese.

It said I got a 50

yen coupon.

It's not PlayStation 5.

Point, pointo kōkan.

Point change points.

現在の残高 fifty yen.

I got fifty yen. What? I just made fifty

yen by buying a drink. How do I use it?

I don't understand.

Uh, itchy,

itchy.

Why don't you have cereal in Japan?

Because I'm a loyal, devoted boyfriend.

Everyone used to complain when I cheated,

saying I was a psychopath. Now you're

complaining because I don't cheat. The

Can't win, can I? Look at my apple pie.

What? Why is there like cat food in the

bottom? What's that?

Oh, it's like banana bread.

Oh, I dropped it.

I already had a health delivery in this

hotel, this very hotel,

6 years ago. I wonder if that girl is like

married and have kids now.

Imagine the guy she married, he has no

idea that we did it raw.

Imagine your wife or girlfriend, you have

no idea that she used to work as health

delivery. How would you know? You would

Imagine all the women who've done serial

work. Oh wait, I haven't turned on

monetization. Hold on,

I keep forgetting it's off by default,

which is weird. Oh wow, thanks Nicholas!

You should— you said you should have

bought fugu, but last year you said fugu

was overpriced waste. It is,

but I just wanted to buy it so I can get a

video clip of me trying it. And saying

it tastes horrible.

I think text-to-speech is on. Happy

birthday, Daniel! Birthday cake! In

today's video, you say you should have

bought fugu, but last year you said fugu

was an overpriced waste. Those tiny

contradictions are one of the things I

like most about your channel. Well, a few

years ago I said I would never go to

Thailand and it's rubbish, and then I went

there and I realized it's actually pretty

So just because I said it doesn't mean I

right? I need to turn on Matt Mads

ads. Don't you think this phone sounds way

better than the iPhone stream?

Oh, it's cold.

God, Japan sucks right now. It's like 10°

outside, blowing wind. Raining rain.

I went to Uehonmachi to pick up my pocket

Wi-Fi. Look, I got my pocket Wi-Fi to do

IRL, but I don't want to do IRL because

it's so cold. So I had

to pay ¥800 to get 2 trains there and then

2 trains back. Oh, thanks, Fallen Kid.

So I went to The Lawson to pick up my

pocket Wi-Fi. I should have chosen a

closer Lawson. Then went to Life again. I

really like Life because you don't have to

talk to anyone. You just go in, pick up

the items, scan it yourself, forget to pay

for the bag. I watched a video back again.

I uploaded the video today of me shopping,

and I heard it on the cash register. It

said 有料レジ袋, which means

paid-for bag. And I swear I didn't hear it

when I was actually there because

I was focusing on scanning the items. Why

don't they have English? There's no

English. So serves them right if

they lose 3. Hey Daniel, happy birthday!

Currently watching this at work, lol. Go

have cereal with somebody today. Oh,

thanks, Ollie. Maybe if I get like $300,

don't know, get a health

delivery and

stream it live. Imagine I keep the stream

on, she comes in, she doesn't know.

That's probably illegal. I would never.

Oh, what if I What if I pay for it and

then she comes to the room and I say,

actually, I don't want to do it. Would you

like to do livestream with me instead for

one hour? And then we can like interview

her what it's like to be a health

delivery. And what

if she's like, I'd rather just have cereal

than be on your livestream. I reckon most

girls would actually if they came here to

do it. They'd probably just think, I'd

rather just do it than have to sit here on

your weird livestream.

Oh, I'm full up. I still got the noodles

from yesterday. I might eat it tomorrow.

I never heard you say health delivery.

Well, that's what it's officially called.

So when they come to your room, they give

you a massage, but no massage actually

happens.

God, this energy drink's making me feel

Why do they all taste the same though?

It's like those sour

candy sweets.

I'm 35, can you believe it?

I can't believe I'm 35 now.

I can't

believe 7 years on YouTube, is it?

Well, really, I've been on it since 2015,

so it's actually nearly 10 years. But my

channel didn't really start growing until

maybe 2017, so I don't really count 2015

and 16. I mean, who's been here from 2016

or 2015? Probably no one. Oh wow,

thanks Chung L.

Oh wow, this Belgian choco pie cake looks

pretty good.

Dolce Dolce Garden.

For Leia. What happened

to Elisa Chung? She disappeared. She

depressed again. I might be depressed all

the time, but at least I don't quit

YouTube, do I? Ooh, looks shiny.

Let's get a zoom up. They didn't give me—

oh. Myself.

Whoa, look at that shiny— so

we're nearly 10 years on YouTube. A few

more years, it'll be 10 years.

We're like 7 or 8 years now.

Oh my God, look at this thing! How am I

supposed to eat this? It's got nuts,

it's got nuts, a cream layer, biscuit

base,

and it's got like a tart on the top,

and I don't have a spoon.

I didn't see spoons. I've only got this.

This is the only spoon I got.

Let me try.

Maybe I can eat it like this.

Oh, this, this is really runny. I thought

it was like solid chocolate. It's like

creamy.

Wow.

Oh, thanks, Chang L.

Oh my God, that is sweet.

It's like melted chocolate mousse. What's

this glitter they put on top?

It's got hazelnuts and cream.

How are you supposed to eat this? My

spoon's too small.

Hmm, pretty good.

The chocolate on top is really sweet.

Oh, coffee would be pretty good with this.

I wonder if I make a coffee.

This kettle's rubbish, it takes ages.

Are you 34? No, I'm 35.

Next year, 36. And then 37.

Oh, when I get to 36 and 37, that's when

the depression sets in. I think 35 is like

the last year before you start getting

depressed, because then it's like, oh,

the road to 40 is only a few years away.

35 is still, uh, still okay,

but then you get 36.

37. I'm still younger than all of my exes

when I first met them. Like, Chihiro was

37, I think, or 36. My Korean girlfriend

was like 35 or 36. I can't believe it took

this long for me to become the age of my

first exes. Now they're

all like 40-something and 50.

What did I get for my birthday? I got

and I got ¥50 from Zone member.

Oh, that's pretty good.

Have you ever been with a girl who's

younger than you? Yes, I was with Mila for

9 months. She was 5 years younger. I was

with the French Thai girlfriend for 4

months. She was 2 years younger.

I think that's it. All the rest were like

5, 10 years older.

You know, Tomoko is in Osaka right now.

She didn't message to meet though. She

messaged me complaining because I talked

about her, and then she said she got a

weird message. Who's sending Tomoko weird

messages, guys? She said something like,

you were talking about me on your live.

Don't talk. Oh, she said don't talk about

me anymore. Whoops. She said she nearly

lost a friend because they found out that

she's connected to me.

Why would that? So stupid though. Like,

why would you unfriend, not be friends

with someone just because they were

associated with me? It's not a very good

friend then, is it? I should tell them to

go fuck themselves.

Ew, you're associated with Daniel Lord.

Ew. Unfriend.

So now Tomoko's mad at me because I talked

about her. Maybe I invite her to my hotel

birthday party. Should I send

Chihiro a message? Invite her to my

birthday party.

What coffee should I have, a Blendy Stick

or a Nescafé? Wow,

oh, I thought he was falling.

Oh, my Spider-Man reactions kicked in

then. Where's my Nescafé?

Oh, now when I move stuff, the cable

gets caught.

I wish they would just make a really thick

phone with a fat bottom so it can stand up

on its own. Where's my cup?

I can use this as a cup.

I thought about buying a drink with a

bottle and then pouring all the shampoo

into it when I leave. What do you think?

Is that illegal? It's not illegal to take

all the shampoo, is it? I mean, I paid for

the room. I'm entitled to the free

amenities, aren't I? Can you do that?

Because when I go to the guest house, I

got to buy stuff like shampoo. They gave

me loads of shampoo. Why don't I just put

it into a bottle? If I put hot water

into a glass, would it break?

Or maybe I do like a dono goal, $100, and

then I'll message Jiri. A message.

I'll send her a message, um,

saying whatever the highest donator wants

me to say, and then my girlfriend can't

complain because I'm saying I'm just doing

it for the viewers. Where are my paper

cups? Freeze the glass, put hot water into

it. I can't be bothered.

What's your secret to looking young? I

don't know. When I was getting my vaccine

shot in Manchester, I had to line up

outside the pharmacy, and then this

Manchester Black guy was— he was like

asking people for information, our age,

name, stuff like that. Whilst we were

waiting. He had a clipboard and then he

asked me how old I was. I said 30— I was

33 at the time, I guess. And then he was

like, what, man, how you do that?

I said, I don't know, just stay inside a

lot, play video games.

It's not like I have a special diet. I'm

literally eating cake and hot dog for

dinner. Yeah, I'm so healthy. My special

diet of Junk food and coffee.

My mum looked pretty young as well. Like,

people always used to say to my mum, wow,

you look so young, Cami. When she was 40,

50, they thought she was like 30. Don't

know about now. I mean, she's nearly 70.

She's 66. She still looks pretty good

though. When she dyes her hair black, she

looks way younger.

Maybe she could pass for like 50.

I don't know,

some people just look naturally old. Like

Nobita. Nobita is around my age, but he

looks like a 50-year-old man. He's just

got those old facial features. I don't

know how. I don't really know why some

people just look old and then some people

just look young. My skin's terrible.

Like, my skin's pimply and dry and

freckled, but people still say I look

It's just the genetic makeup of my facial

structure. Walking around in the cold,

I definitely feel like my face is getting

tighter. I definitely feel like my face is

getting a bit smaller now, but when I was

in Thailand, I felt like my face was

bloating up. I think being cold definitely

does something to your facial structure.

God, it's freezing out there.

So horrible to walk around outside.

Do not come to Japan in March, it's so

Kind of sucks because I want to do IRL.

I guess we really are hiding in our room

now. How old are you?

I'm 35.

Did you pack warm clothes? I got this,

this thick fleece from Uniqlo, but still

cold. I've got 2 pairs of

trousers. The problem is my face and my

neck. I need to get like a balaclava.

My body and my legs, they're fine, but

it's my hands and my neck, my face, my

ears get cold.

Oh, thanks, Chung L. Recently graduated

and started working. I envy your life, it

seems really free. Yeah, but it gets kind

of boring. I just sit in my hotel room all

day, got nothing to do.

Feels kind of empty sometimes. That's why

I like having a girlfriend, gives my life

a bit of structure. Now I'm just like

sitting in the hotel all day.

The hotel life.

Cake with chopsticks. Actually, it works

pretty well. Look, it works really well.

Oh my God.

This chocolate cake's pretty good.

You can get a job— what, in Japan? I don't

I would hate to work in Japan. Japanese

people are so OCD. Recently graduated

and started working. I envy your life, it

seems really free. Slightly smiling face.

Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's okay.

Sometimes gets a bit lonely though.

Oh no, I dropped chocolate all over my

white sweater.

Hold on.

Oh no.

Oh,

fuck.

The problem is when you go to touch

it to, to flick it off, it accidentally

smudges and melts into the fabric.

God, there's some here. This is

the worst birthday ever.

Now, working in Japan seems miserable. I

feel like you get slightly lazy and

your co-workers sniff it out and they'll

be up your backside. They'll be like,

"頑張ってないでしょ?なんで頑張ってないんですか?" And

then they'll snitch on you to the boss.

Daniel-sanは頑張ってないんですけど. Such annoying

dickheads. You try and work in a Japanese

company, all they say is "頑張ってない." So

annoying. I worked at Lawson; they were

like, "Daniel,頑張ってないでしょ?" Shut

the fuck up. I'm頑張ってる ring as

much as I can with this stupid boring job.

I hate that word. You really start to hate

the word頑張る. I don't want to頑張る.

I want to can't be bothered.

If there's one word I hate in Japanese,

it's probably ganbaru.

I refuse to ganbaru.

It just means to try your hardest,

and Japanese really hate people who are

lazy. And they're not hardworking. They

like really look down

It's almost like social suicide.

In the UK, everyone's like, oh, can't be

bothered. Oh, do you want a cuppa? Oh,

thank God it's time to go home.

Everyone's like openly hating the jobs in

the UK, which is nice.

Everyone in Japan's like OCD hardworking.

Sorry, I'd hate working here. I did hate

working here.

Japan's a nice country, she just do

nothing in, but I wouldn't want to work

here. You would have to

really want to live here. I'm happy coming

3 months, maybe 6 months, and then

leaving, then come again.

Go to Thailand, go home.

Why are you in Japan? Well, the yen is

really cheap. You won't believe how

much value for money you get now compared

to when I was married. You literally get

40% more money now than 2019.

It's insane. It's like £1 is ¥192 now.

When I was married, £1 was about ¥130.

You get an extra ¥60 per pound.

It's crazy. I'm broke,

but I can eat like a king and live in a

If you're not coming to Japan right now,

you're gonna regret it. I don't think the

yen's gonna be this weak forever.

Damn, coffee and Belgian chocolate cake,

living like a king.

I'm paying £400 for 10 days,

so I, I could stay here for a whole month

for about £1,200.

If I had to get a job, I'd rather just go

home to the UK and work and save up money.

I would not want to work in Japan.

I like how the Japanese hardworking work

ethic also

applies for, for cereal workers, cuz you

ever get cereal workers from other

countries and they look fed up, or they

rush you and they're like Have you come

yet? Oh, when you going to come? And then

they're just not very professional. They

just— I don't know, they're just rubbish.

But Japanese women never hurry you.

I mean, they're really professional, even

if they're prostitutes.

They're really polite and they wipe you

down and they do anything you want nearly,

and they don't act all like fed up and,

oh, you come yet? Hey, shit, I pay for

an hour and then like, oh, did you come

yet? Come when I want to, bitch. You're

mine for an hour. Shut the fuck up.

Trying to rush me? Why do they ask you if

you finish yet? I finish when I finish,

okay?

If you want me to finish now when I still

got 70% of my time left, then give me back

70% of my money.

So yeah, it's nice how the

hard work ethic goes all the way,

even with, um, serial work.

Wow, the coffee tastes extra good when

you've just had Belgian chocolate cake.

Would you ever consider paying for

prostitution in Japan? I have before,

back when I was not with my girlfriend.

When I was married, I did it many times.

In this very hotel, actually. Her name was

Mayu.

She kept saying "やめて," but I put it in

anyway. But she—I mean—if she really

wanted me to stop,

it's not like I was physically forced. I

wasn't like physically pinning her down or

anything. She kept saying "ダメだダメです."

Yamete. But then I put it in anyway, and

then she was like grinding back at me. So

I don't understand, you want me to stop

but your body is not telling me you want

to stop.

I think they just like saying yamete, but

they don't really want you to stop. It's

very weird because

she could have just gotten up and left,

but she didn't.

And then afterwards I told her I'm

married, and then she like gave me advice,

relationship advice. Then she gave me a

little contact card and drew a smiley face

on it. Yamete means stop.

Do you have to use a condom? There was—

there were a few times when I didn't. It

was weird because I didn't insist on

not using one. They asked me if I wanted

to use one or not. So I don't get

it, like, why do they put themselves at

risk?

Maybe they found me attractive and they

thought, oh, he looks like a virgin,

don't need the condom.

It's really weird. Happened in Korea as

well. She asked me if I wanted to use

condom or not, and I said no. Like, why?

At least charge. I mean, if you're gonna

put yourself at risk, why not charge me

more? But they didn't. There were like

three or four that just let me do it raw.

Wow, quite like Nest Cafe now. It's grown

on me. My theory

is they found me attractive. And they

wanted it raw. Why? What is the other

reason?

But I wouldn't insist on going raw.

It's not really a good idea. But if they

offer me raw, then I'll take it.

Yeah, I'm not gonna do it now,

mostly because I have a girlfriend, not

because I'm broke.

Ice is coming back to Japan. Oh my God,

why does he keep following me everywhere?

It's like he's obsessed with me.

Where's he gonna stay? If he comes to

Osaka, then he's definitely obsessed with

me. Maybe he found out what I said about

Kim and he's mad.

Why is he coming to Japan again? I thought

he was in Europe doing a subathon.

Have you ever met a fan in Japan? Yeah, I

met Blood Bucket a couple days ago. Went

to her house. I'm meeting another viewer.

She's coming to Osaka on Saturday, I

think. I'm not sure what we're going

to do. I need to figure out my IRL setup

if we're going to stream. I think I might

use, uh, Homeless. I messaged Homeless,

that slightly homeless guy. He said he

uses IRL Pro. I tested it out and it's,

it's pretty good. It's got stabilization,

it's got text-to-speech, but there's no

on-screen chat, so I need a second phone

to read the chat. I don't really want to

walk around like holding 2 phones.

That's the only annoying thing. I like

Prism Live because it's got the on-screen

chat, but it's got no stabilization. But

on the iPhone, it's got stabilization,

but it's got no text-to-speech, and the

mic sucks. So it's really annoying.

There's no perfect app that does

everything.

Damn, I had an energy drink and a coffee.

Now I'm gonna be bouncing off the walls.

I don't understand why is it so hard for a

developer just to make an app that does

everything. I need stabilization, duh,

for IRL. I don't want a shaky cam. I need

text-to-speech and I need to see the chat.

Why don't any of these apps do all of

those things?

So frustrating. You don't

care about stabilization? So if I like

walk around like this, it's not annoying.

Look how shaky that is. I'm just holding

it still.

I might go down to the microwave and I'll

bring you guys with me. You'll see how

shaky it is. You mostly listen? Well, if

that's the case, then this phone's better

because Don't you agree this mic sounds

way better than yesterday's iPhone stream?

I watched back my stream from yesterday

and it sounded so bad. I kept blowing into

the mic because the mic is facing me in

the speaker ear speaker bit.

The iPhone is stupid. It's got a mic on

the front and a mic on the back. So the

idea is it's picking up audio from the

thing that you're filming in front of you.

But Samsung, it puts the mic on the top,

so it captures sound coming from here and

here and here. And when I blow at

the phone like, it doesn't

make the popping sound, does it? So if

I blow here, here's the mic. It's really

loud, isn't it?

The iPhone has rubbish design. Look, they

put the mic here and they put a mic here,

but they don't put the mic on the top.

They put one on the bottom for phoning.

So annoying.

I'm just trying to figure out how to do

IRL. What's the best app?

Maybe IRL Pro, but then I need a second

phone to read the chat. The on-screen chat

keeps freezing and it's slow.

Yeah, I could wear the backpack, put it in

the strap, and then go hands-free and hold

my chat phone, but then I

can't aim the camera at what I want to

film. It just has to hang off

my shoulder and sometimes it points to the

right. What would

be great is if I got a strap and I could

just strap the phone to my center chest.

Prism Live is good, but there's no

Very frustrating.

I don't know why Prism Live makes an IRL

streaming app, but they don't put

stabilization on it. So weird.

Can we visit you? No,

no, guys. This is guys restricted zone.

So maybe tomorrow. I don't know what to do

21st. It's too cold and it's raining.

What should I do if I go outside?

Maybe I go to Osaka Castle.

I don't know.

I can't visit Blood Bucket because her

sister's there.

Talk to some ladies? No, I'm too scared

I'll be bothering them. Japanese women

are scared— scary to talk to because they

seem scared when you go up to them,

mostly because they don't understand

English and then they panic.

So they seem really unfriendly and not

very welcoming, I think because they're

scared that they can't talk to you.

Oh, my mum messaged me. She said, I can't

believe you are 35.

Thanks,

Mum.

She likes it when I call her Mum. I don't

know why. She gets mad when I don't.

Address her as mum. She's like, where's

the mum? Do I have to? I mean,

we both know you're my mum. Why do I have

to keep calling you mum? She said, what

did you do today? Maybe I get her to

send a voice message for my viewers. I am

live streaming now.

Do you want to send a voice message

For my viewers.

LOL.

How else do you address her? I don't know,

I just start talking. At her, and she

knows I'm talking at her.

Is your sister still angry with you? I

don't think so.

Oh wow, PewDiePie, my best YouTuber friend

in Tokyo. I'll show you around Setagaya.

I think you would enjoy the Hakone in

January too. You have a place to stay with

me always. Hopefully you can patch things

up with Joey so you can join the gang.

Take care of yourself, man.

B-R-O-F-I-S-T-T-T.

My favorite Swedish friend. Where's my

shout out?

Why does my mom keep messaging me?

Your hair and skin looks better in Japan.

No, I got pimples here,

like 2 big pimples here, one here.

My hair does look better though. I think

the harsh Thai sun was making my hair go

brown. I look— at

least my face isn't all sweaty like it was

in Thailand. My face just looked

constantly sweaty and shiny.

She was 31 when she gave birth to you.

Yeah, I think my dad was 33.

Wait, how old? So my dad died 64,

which was 5 years ago. He'd be— my dad

would be 69 if he was still alive. So that

means my dad was 34. I'm older than my dad

was when he had me.

At least my dad had kids, I guess.

At a decent age. 35,

34 is a pretty good age to start a family

as a guy because you're not too young and

you're older, so you're more mature and

you're making more money than

if you were 20-something, but you're not

too old like 40-something.

Now I just need a 20-year-old female to

start my family.

My mom doesn't want to send the voice

message. I don't know why everyone's so

scared of my livestream. My girlfriend's

scared of my livestreams. My mom, she's

like all scared. Because she thinks

you're— she thinks my viewers are all

crazy. Why is everyone scared of my

viewers? You guys are not that bad.

You notice whenever I try and take a video

with my girlfriend, she always walks off.

She doesn't try and interact or do it.

It's so boring. I whip out my camera to

try and take some vlogs and she walks off.

So annoying.

Can't make any content with her.

Well, she looks— I don't know, she looks

scared when I start filming, like she's

scared what people are going to say about

I don't get it. Because I love making

videos and streaming and being on camera,

but everyone else is like, oh, don't film

me. Oh, me, me, me, me. Oh,

thanks, Alus. Happy birthday to you too.

Yeah, Chihiro wasn't scared. That's why I

was able to make good content. It's hard

to make good content when everyone keeps

telling you to stop filming. My sister

just doesn't let me film. When I meet her.

Imagine being scared of being on YouTube.

Happy birthday, Daniel Birthday Cake.

Wow, thanks, Daniel Birthday Cake.

Oh wow, thanks, Connor Larson. In Japan,

there is an English teacher who

occasionally visits Osaka. Daniel has

arranged a meetup with this lady for sex

around the 22nd of March, 2024.

Fast, his Thai girlfriend may know about

this as she watches his boring long

streams at 144p quality. There's no sex,

we're just friends, and she's gonna help

me make content. That is all.

Stop trying to get me in trouble. Do you

want content or not? Or do you just want

me here in the room doing nothing?

Because that's what's gonna happen if my

girlfriend gets mad.

Oh, my girlfriend's messaging me now.

Hi.

Why is she messaging me now? What time is

it in Washington? Isn't it like 4 AM?

Oh, thanks, Christopher.

I don't think the real Gunner is here yet.

He'll be here later to make fun of me

being old and not achieved anything in

life.

It's 2 AM. Why is my girlfriend messaging

me? Why aren't you sleeping?

She said she doesn't like America. She

said it's too cold, and she said the

driving is really strict.

She said she might just stay a few months.

She said she'll stay a few months to learn

English and help at the restaurant and

then go back to Thailand. What did I say?

Told you so.

America is cold, expensive, dangerous,

and boring, and you can't drive like you

drive in Thailand in America. Isn't

driving pretty strict in America? Like,

you have to wear a seat belt,

you have to indicate when changing lanes,

can't use your phone whilst driving,

gotta have both hands on the wheel. In

Thailand, people just drive with no hands

on the wheel. It's crazy. They're like

this, texting whilst driving, just because

the, the steering wheel locks and it goes

in a straight line. When you're not

holding the steering wheel, so they think,

oh, I'm just going in a straight line.

It's fine.

I even saw when I watched Suspender's

livestream. I even saw his girlfriend Riri

driving no hand. Happy B day, bud. And

don't listen to Gunner, that scoundrel.

Oh well, thanks, Christopher.

Gunner's a loser.

Generally scared when you went into Blood

Bucket's house. Why scared?

Someone left a comment saying that they

were upset at the dead silence after she

explained things. I didn't know what to

say. She would say like, oh, this is my

painting that I did. I don't know what to

say apart from, oh, that's nice.

What else can I say?

It's not exactly If I had a house,

that's not exactly how I would decorate it

myself. It's not really my kind of style.

Now, if she had like a futuristic sci-fi

house that was like the inside of a Star

Trek ship, then I'd be like, oh my God,

this is cool.

Lachlan Greave, the mysterious main

antagonist of the series, who is only

mentioned in frustration by Daniel and

never seen on camera, has habits such as

playing rugby and eating bread in the

midst of sexy time. 22nd of March will be

a big day for Daniel. Why 22nd of March?

I asked a few questions like Where do you

get the insects for the taxidermy? I

thought she just picks them up off the

What would you do when you're 40?

Probably still be doing this if I can.

This is my dream job.

Streaming. What does she do for work

money? I don't know. Oh, she said

she sells things. She sells those things

she makes.

I don't know what else she does.

What if YouTube shuts down? I don't know,

maybe I'll go to Kick or Twitch.

But I'm pretty sure YouTube's gonna be

around forever. Google makes so much money

off YouTube, and it's like the number one

search engine for videos. Why would you

let that go? Unless they

just couldn't find a way to make it

profitable. And it was making them lose

money, then they might try and sell it off

to someone else.

I don't know if, if I could, if I

could live off just streaming on Kick.

Depends if I can get you guys to come over

to there. When I tried doing Kick Last

year I had like 40 viewers maybe,

and some people were subbing to me.

The problem is Kick doesn't have any ads,

so you're 100% relying on the donations,

which is kind of scary because sometimes

you don't really get any donations and all

you get is the ad revenue, but Kick

doesn't have any.

The thing I'm scared of is too many people

try to make YouTube channels and they will

just spam out low-quality, low-effort

videos to make easy money, and it

starts costing YouTube too much money to

store the videos, so they make it harder

and harder to get monetized. Like, you

need 100,000 subs. In Japan, there is an

English teacher. Daniel has arranged a

meetup with this lady for sex around the

22nd of March, 2024. Fast, his Thai

girlfriend may know about this, but Daniel

is not replying to Fast whilst he is

sleeping with as many old women as

possible. This all lies. Don't believe

Why did she wake up at 2 AM, send me one

message, and then not reply?

I think she fell asleep again. She sent me

one message saying, hi babe.

For some reason, only fat girls want to

sleep with me.

Why am I appealing to a fat girl but I'm

not appealing to a skinny girl?

I'm so sick and tired of fat girls.

Chi-Chi wasn't fat. Yeah, but she's old.

They're either old or fat.

Worst case, old and fat.

When I was on my Tinder rampage back in

2017, they were basically all fat, all the

Japanese girls. Like the one I did on the

floor, she was massive, like huge.

And then there was another one. I brought

her back to the guest house. She was

massive as well.

I don't think any of them were slim.

That's why I married Chihiro, cuz she was

like the only date I got who wasn't fat

and ugly.

And she had pretty nice face, you know,

like big eyes, balanced facial features,

not weird gum and teeth She got nice

teeth, Chihiro. Some Japanese women, they

got like weird teeth where they're

sticking out like camel teeth or

And the only thing I didn't like was her

laugh lines. Her laugh lines were just too

deep. She would laugh and it'd be like,

like way too deep. I don't

like such deep laugh lines.

Yeah, and then there was that other girl

She was wearing a Harry Potter scarf. She

was kind of thick as well. None of them

are skinny.

Turn off the filter. There's no filter.

Let me check.

It is off. Beauty off.

Color. Oh, oh, there is like a color

filter on. Oh, that's original.

Looks more realistic now. Before it looked

kind of pale, made me look— this is the

original, no color. It had

a color filter on.

I look more realistic now.

Have you blocked my messages? No.

Never. Oh my God, my mom keeps messaging

me stupid things.

She asked me if I had sex with Japanese

women. I said no.

Why is she asking me weird stuff?

These are things you should not be asking

your son. It's kind of weird.

My mom asked me weird stuff like, did you

cum in her?

She said, "I am your mom. You can tell me

anything." Is she watching the stream?

I don't want to tell my mom about coming

in girls.

Your dad wouldn't ask you these things?

No, he never asked me anything personal.

Daniel has an OnlyFans account. He baits

LGBTQ fans into purchasing his content and

takes personal requests. No, I stopped.

Daniel's love for sticking things up his

butt makes him a lot of money, but the

downside is that it also makes him shit

himself. Happens a lot.

I haven't done OnlyFans since a

year and a half ago because I got scared

I'd get in trouble in Thailand.

Maybe I'll ask my mum to ask Chihiro if

she wants to meet up. No, I don't want to.

Birthday stream with XY.

All about birthday stream with Tomoko.

Wonder what Tomoko is doing in Osaka.

Meeting a guy.

I don't think— I don't know if I'd want to

meet Tomoko. I wonder

how much she's aged because it's been like

5 years. No, it's been more. It's been 7

years. No, 6 years.

Wow, Bitcoin's really crashing. $62K.

Who is Tomoko? She is a woman that

catfished me in 2017,

and I was telling everyone she's my new

girlfriend, and she used to come on the

live streams and chat with everyone, and I

hyped her up as my new girlfriend. And

then I went there, she told me she was 27,

so I went there, met her, and I thought,

there's no way she's 27, she looks way

older. But we did it

anyway, and then afterwards I made a video

saying what happened, and then she got

mad, and then my

viewers got mad because I said she was

and my viewers accused me of cheating on

her because before meeting her I met

Chihiro,

and they were like, oh, you cheated. Do

you remember when I had such like a

goody-two-shoes audience? They even got

all upset when I met some other woman

before meeting my internet girlfriend.

God, they get upset over everything. Oh,

Daniel, but you cheated, didn't you? You

met Chihiro before meeting Tomoko. How

could you do that, Daniel?

I can't believe they got so worked up over

anything like that.

Look at this tiny spoon.

Have you had cereal with Blood the Bucket?

No, of course not.

That would be improper.

Happy birthday to you.

Where's my birthday hat?

Yay! Yay! When I open my mouth, confetti

comes out. Isn't there a hat?

Oh, there is a hat. Haha, I found it.

Look, birthday boy.

The way it just sticks to your head is

pretty cool, even when you move it around.

That's pretty good.

Then I have to buy a real hat.

Wow, this is the best birthday ever.

All alone in my hotel.

Can't believe you guys think I'm just

gonna cheat all the time. I have grown

and changed as a human being.

I would never.

I see no donations. Well, why don't you

send one then? Or you are too selfish,

I guess.

What should I do tomorrow? I might test

out my new pocket Wi-Fi. Oh, let's get the

pocket Wi-Fi out. I should have bought

myself a present to unwrap, like new

Steam Deck or new MacBook Pro.

My birthday present.

So if you come to Japan, you want

internet, this costs $38

for 1 month, 100GB 4G.

And then you get this envelope, you just

pop it in the envelope and put it in the

post. It's prepaid. So when you leave,

just pop it in the post, but don't forget

to send back the charger. I forgot to

include— I forgot to put in the charger

thing last year and they made me pay for

it. So you get a little

charger thing. It's called iVideo.

Suspenders said this is the best one when

I asked him.

Why does it rattle?

And then you get this pocket Wi-Fi.

Oh, it's a serial number.

Yeah, TQOSAM opened a group chat and he

invited Suspenders, and then I said, hey

Suspenders, what's the best internet for

streaming? He said iVideo. And then you

get USB-C cable and

a spare battery.

So maybe I'll try this out tomorrow and

I'll try increase the stream quality to

2500 bitrate.

Look, SoftBank. This is a SoftBank SIM

card. I got 999

gigabytes. Hmm, what's the password?

It says enter password. What's the

It's a 4-number password.

Yeah, what happened to that other guy?

There was that British guy who was like

Suspender's team. What was his name?

Kesh or something. He was that tall

British guy who hung out with Ice as well.

And then apparently he stopped

liking Suspenders after the drunken

molestation to the Japanese woman thing

happened. What was his name? Kevin?

Keshin? Keshin or something. And then

Takeru-san, Suspenders, and them lot were

on Kick doing like a group chat,

and then Takeru-san mentioned me, and then

Keshin said Oh my God, not Daniel. How did

he know me? What do you

mean, oh my God, not Daniel? You were,

you were like sucking up to Suspenders

thinking he was the next greatest thing,

and then it turns out he did all that

messed up stuff. At least I never

drunkenly molested a woman while she was

passed out. I think I'm better than

Suspenders if you're talking about the

moral grandstanding. How come he's like

friends with Suspenders, but then he hears

my name and he's like, oh, not Daniel.

I think cheating on your wife is not

nowhere near as bad as SAing,

sexual assault. At least I never sexually

assaulted anyone, did I?

I would never Make love to a passed-out

So what does Keshe do now?

Isn't he like an English teacher or

Are you having an alcoholic beverage?

No, I had a headache after I had that beer

yesterday. I don't want to feel bad.

Drinking alcohol makes me feel sad. I

don't want to feel sad on my birthday. So

where's the damn password for this pocket

Wi-Fi?

Look, happy birthday, Daniel! Oh wow,

thanks Roy CZ, very generous.

I don't know what the password for the

pocket Wi-Fi is.

Isn't there paper?

There's no paper. It's not on the back.

Maybe it's on here.

What? Maybe it's in the email.

I tried 1234, it didn't work. What's the

password?

Maybe I'll just email them asking what the

password is.

Hello, I got the pocket Wi-Fi.

What is the password to unlock

it? Thanks.

That's so stupid. Why don't they put the

password on the back of it or something?

0, 0, 0.

Okay,

no, wrong. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Wrong. 4, 3, 2, 1.

Wrong.

Uh. What else could it be?

Oh, maybe it's this.

Oh my God.

Oh, it's another letter.

There's no password on it.

Made in Taiwan.

What? They didn't send the password

with it.