[2023-07-24] Reacting to my failure in life - Lazy and no Motivation [gfg7Ifq52iE]

So I made this video about 6 or 7 years

ago. It was about not having any

motivation and being lazy. I was about 26

or 27 years old, and at the time when I

made this, I was feeling very down. I felt

like I didn't know what to do with my life

and I didn't have any motivation, and I

was just feeling kind of annoyed with

myself because I had no drive or ambition.

I don't really know if anything's changed

since then or has much changed, but I was

wondering if we could give 27 or

26-year-old Daniel some some advice now

that we're 7 years ahead of him in this

video. So this is kind of like 34-year-old

me giving 27-year-old me some advice. So

let's, let's see what I had to say all

those years ago. I have a bit of a

problem. I don't have any motivation to do

anything. First of all, it's kind of funny

how different my face looks. My face was

so much slimmer back then. I just can't

get motivated to do anything, to go back

to school, to study something, to try and

get a better job. It's kind of interesting

now because I'm now going to school and I

quite enjoy it, which I don't think

27-year-old Daniel would have agreed with

or understood that going to school and

learning something new can be quite

interesting and mentally stimulating.

To try and better myself and a person. I

don't know what's wrong with me. I just,

I don't have motivation, but it seems like

nearly everyone else is motivated to do

something. I don't think it's necessarily

just a case of everyone being motivated to

do something. I think it's just mostly

most people are not driven by motivation.

They're driven by necessity. They have to

go and work and make money. They have to

go to school to get educated and get a

good job so they can make money to support

themselves and their family. My problem

was and still kind of is, is that or was

that, was that I lived with my parents and

my family and I didn't have to make money.

I could just have no money and just live

in the house with my parents and they

would support me. And I didn't really have

anything to worry about. So I didn't

really have anything kicking me up the

backside to push me out the door to go and

get a job or go and get a better job or

educate myself and go to school. I feel

like if most people didn't have to go and

work or didn't have to go to school, then

the majority of people just wouldn't go to

work or school and would just do what I

was doing back then, which was just

staying at home playing video games all

day and just being bored because I didn't

have to do anything. And what am I doing?

I'm 27. I work in a petrol station. I

hated that petrol station job so much. I

also think people get a lot of motivation

from just hating their jobs and wanting to

get a better job or get a job doing

something they actually enjoy. Do men

respect me? No. And actually, part of the

thing, part of the reason why I was so

motivated to do YouTube back then and make

videos was because I was really motivated

to find something better than that stupid

petrol station job, which I already hated.

Do women find me sexually attractive? Uh,

probably no, and probably still no. Not

really. Well, at least you got a

girlfriend now. Actually, before this— I

mean, after this video was made, I went on

to get several girlfriends and a wife.

And like a bunch of viewers on YouTube

found me attractive as well. Dated a

couple viewers, and I've got a new

girlfriend now in Thailand. So don't worry

so much, Daniel. I think women do find you

attractive. Do I have a good job?

No. What exactly do I have?

Um, you have your youth, you have your

health, you're young, you're like 27 in

this video, you have your whole life ahead

of you, and you haven't— you haven't yet

experienced horrible things like losing

your dad, losing the love of your life,

getting divorced. And also David 19

hasn't happened yet, so I don't know what

you're whining about. If you wait until—

wait until you're 34, Daniel. I have

everything that I need or could want.

I have a nice house, I have food and a

warm bed to sleep in. If I wanted to,

I could use the money that I earn from my

job to go and study something, but nope,

instead I'm spending £3,000

so I can go all the way to Japan to meet

some random lady I met on the internet who

Who is this random lady? I think it was

Tomoko, wasn't it? Wait, what month was

this? March 2017. No, this was a single

mother girlfriend I'm talking about.

Yeah, this was before I met the single

mother girlfriend. That was a funny

adventure. 2 weeks of just pure raw

you know what. So I was thinking, what

kind of job would be suited to me? You

know, something I can do on my own. I

know, you could do YouTube. I think you'd

be great at YouTube. Everyone would love

you and love your videos, won't they?

Something I can do from home would be

great. Yeah, for a very long time I was

really, really wondering what kind of job

I would end up doing long-term. What

skills do I have? I can speak Japanese,

but I can speak Japanese at a

conversational level. I think at this

point I wasn't really— couldn't really

believe that YouTube would become like a

long-term kind of career for me. I can't—

if you show me like a scientific document

or— I just don't know what to do about my

future. People think because I can— to be

honest, I still don't really know what to

do about my future. The YouTube thing

doesn't look too great. The numbers are

just going down and down. I can't find

anything that's, that's really bringing in

big views on a consistent basis. So

actually Barely anything's changed in 6

or 7 years. I'm still worried about my

future. I still feel stupid, like I can't

do anything. I still don't really have

much motivation apart from trying to make

videos, hoping that it'll get some views

so I could pay for rent. Speak a second

language, and I'm good at drawing, and I

kind of sound like a well-read person. I

kind of— I don't sound like a really

low-class, unintelligent person. Yeah.

The thing that annoys me a lot is people

keep saying that I am intelligent just

because I sound British and I've got like

a kind of posh accent and I can speak a

few languages, but I can't speak any of

them really well to the point where I'm

super fluent. I can speak Japanese

okay-ish. My Korean is pretty basic and I

just started to learn Thai. This is not

really anything special. And my drawing

skills, they're not great, they're okay.

Like, I can draw a face and I can draw

like a person, I can draw random objects

better than the average person. But that's

only because the average person doesn't

draw anything. So how can you compare

yourself when you've got decades of

experience drawing and doodling? How do

you compare that to someone who's never

drawn at all? Obviously, I'm gonna be

better than most people at drawing because

most people don't draw. They think that

I'm intelligent and I can get a good

job, but I'm not intelligent. I'm not

highly educated. I just— yeah, I think I

proved to everyone already by now that I'm

not intelligent. I don't have any interest

in things like mathematics or science or

physics or technology or business or

econo— or anything. Well, I did kind of

get interested in economics when I got

into the stock market and look how that

turned out. I'm not interested in

anything. What am I interested in? You're

interested in gaming and you're interested

in, I think to some degree you're

interested in drawing and you kind of find

learning languages interesting.

Interested in making YouTube videos and

embarrassing myself on the internet.

That's what my main interest is. And I'm

not even interested in making YouTube

videos anymore.

The one thing I was interested in back

then, I'm not interested in anymore. I

live in like a bubble. I don't feel like I

live in the real world, you know,

businesses. Because you don't. You live in

like this protected bubble that your

parents created and sheltered you from the

real world. Economics. That's the problem.

What's going on in the real world,

politics. I feel like I'm isolating myself

away from all of that because that's

reality and I don't want to have anything

to do with reality. I like how YouTube

automatically made different, different

chapters in the video, like why,

I don't care, I don't like working at the

petrol station, I wish I could work alone,

working alone, finishing on time, my

future, my delusion. What's my delusion?

But it's just like a delusion, isn't it?

It's not real. I'm just running away from

something that in the end I won't be able

to run away. When my parents die, I'm

gonna be on my own. I won't be able to

support— I won't be able to rely on them.

They won't be there to help me or support

me. Uh, don't worry, you'll have YouTube.

I'll be completely on my own. And you have

a Thai girlfriend, and I don't have any

experience or I don't have any

qualifications that are worth anything.

Uh, I wish I could just go back in time,

give 27-year-old Daniel a nice big hug and

tell him, don't worry, you'll get a

girlfriend, you'll get a wife, you'll have

a somewhat successful time on YouTube,

even though people seem to hate you. I

can't get a decent job. Imagine, imagine 7

years' time from now, 40-year-old Daniel

Warns a 34-year-old Daniel that YouTube's

not going to last forever. The easiest job

for me to get are things like— 41-year-old

Daniel back at the petrol station.

Retail. And I'm absolutely terrible at

retail. I'm terrible at working in a team.

I've got absolutely— Why am I wearing 3

layers of t-shirts? 1, 2,

3 layers and a hoodie. Horrible. That's so

funny. But the other day, a customer had

his credit card declined,

and he just tried to walk off, and I

shouted at him, wait! Yeah, I remember

that. He just walked off without his card.

I didn't know what to say, so I just

shouted, wait! And then the Nepalese guy

laughed at me and said, you shouldn't say—

you shouldn't shout wait. You should have

said excuse me, which I thought would have

been weird if I just went, excuse me!

So I still don't really know. I guess

shouting wait was kind of weird. And then

my coworker told me off afterwards. He

said, you shouldn't shout at the customer

wait, it sounds so rude. You should say

excuse me. Someone gave me a comment

recently asking me if I'm proud of being

27 and working in a petrol station. And

that comment, it really stuck in my mind.

I kept thinking about it. And no, I'm not

proud of being 27 and working in the

petrol station. I feel like an absolute

failure. At first there was like a sense

of— Do I feel proud now? I don't know,

kind of. I mean, I think it's pretty cool

I'm living in Thailand. I got a

girlfriend, got my own place, supporting

myself without asking my mum for money.

Uh, okay, my YouTube didn't really blow up

and take off hugely,

but I feel like to some

extent, to some degree, I did achieve some

kind of success, of achievement that I

feel like I can be proud of. I felt proud

that I was managing to— yeah, I'm so proud

I get 5K views a video and I got 100K

subs— hold on to a job, and I was serving

customers and dealing with strangers.

Without like breaking down. But now I

feel like— imagine if I could tell

27-year-old Daniel he'd be living in

Thailand, learning Thai, going to school.

There's no way he would believe me. It's

just too much stress, too much mental

stress, physical stress. Doing night shift

isn't easy. I crave sleeping in the

nighttime so much. Night shift was

horrible. I hated it. It's just not

natural to sleep during the day and wake

up when it's dark. It doesn't feel good.

I want to sleep during the night and wake

up when it's bright. That's how it should

be. That's natural. That's how humans were

built to live, sleeping during the night.

And I just feel like I'm damaging my

physical health. Did I say health with

an F? I've been thinking a lot, thinking

about that harsh comment I got, thinking

about being sworn at by my coworker.

I'd just love to have a job where I don't

have to work with people, I don't have to

deal with customers, I can work by myself.

Well, I guess the good news is he did

manage— well, I did manage to get a job

where I could work by myself and there's

no customers. The problem is they're kind

of our customers. The customers are, or

were, the viewers. And instead of just

having a couple customers, you ended up

with, what, tens of thousands of customers

that it was your job to entertain and

please. And you did a really bad job at

it, and you turned, what, 100,000

potential customers, and you turned that

down to like 5,000 customers. So it's

kind of frustrating because I did somehow

manage to get what I wanted, what I was

asking for in this video. I managed to

make it come true, but then I ruined it

because I'm stupid, I guess. I'm not very

smart. So it's kind of tricky because 7

years later, I wouldn't exactly say

nothing has changed. Quite a lot has

changed. Like, I'm living in Thailand,

doing this and doing that, got a

girlfriend, got my own apartment. That's

quite a lot of change. But fundamentally,

I still feel the same as I did back then

in terms of no motivation, not really

much ambition, don't really have the

willpower to do anything really hard,

like trying to get a job that's better

than working in a petrol station or trying

to do a better job at being a YouTuber. I

just seem to give up really easily

whenever something gets very challenging

or hard. I start thinking of ways to give

up and stop doing it, or just really

struggling to keep up the motivation and

the willpower to do something hard has

always been something I struggled with.

So I think my advice to myself would be

just keep trying new things, keep trying

to find things that you actually enjoy

doing, and then if you find anything you

really love doing, then just do it to the

best of your ability. Do it as best as you

can. Doesn't matter if you're not perfect

at it, just try your best. And then if you

get bored of it, try something else. And

then that's just basically life, isn't it?

Just keep trying new things, have fun with

things, and, um, I don't know, maybe don't

cheat on your wife.