Doing Some Graphic Design Work-988815782

Ahem.

Ahem. Hum. Ahem. Hum. Ahem. Hum. Hum. Ahem. Hum hum. Ahem. Hum hum. Interesting. Interesting. Testing. Interesting. Testing. Interesting.

Okay.

Okay,

get my graphic Design setup ready.

Put myself here. Get my graphic.

Where should I put the chat? Up here or down here? Put it up here.

Oh no, then you can see the top of the control panel. It's not good.

Put it here.

The chat's too long,

half of it's blocking.

Okay, that can go there. I'm not sure what this is gonna be used for. Maybe I can use it in a video

for when I'm just talking. Instead of putting a picture, I could put the stream replay

of this masterpiece being created.

Oh no.

Oh wow, you can do a star.

That's cheating.

What do you think? It's pretty good.

I'm not sure if I want to make

Tea? No, I don't really want tea. Maybe later. Can I do a tier— another tier list? About what? I tried making a video today and then I gave up. It was too difficult. I didn't know what to talk about.

I was going to talk about why I was unhappy with my last girlfriend. But then

why was I unhappy? I don't know.

I feel like maybe it's best not to explain why. It would not look good or sound good.

Updated girlfriend tier list. But how many new girlfriends have I had since that video?

There was Mila, and then there was— yeah, just Mila. I think

there weren't really any more girlfriends afterwards.

I like your video about no motivation. Thanks.

It was an original idea.

What could I complain about next time?

I'm manifesting a new emote to unlock. Oh yeah, I need to make a new one.

I have room— I have one more slot for a new emote, but I'm not sure what to make it about.

I just feel bored talking about girlfriend stuff, and it always gets rubbish CPM,

and then everyone always gets all angry at me.

I find it very difficult when people ask me, so what do you— what are you looking for in a girlfriend? As if I'm looking for something really specific. I don't know what I'm looking for. As long as she's not annoying

and I feel attracted to her, then it's good enough, isn't it?

She must be attractive and she must be not annoying.

As long as those 2 requirements are fulfilled, then

Um, everything else is just like,

you know, extra toppings on the pizza.

What am I drawing? I don't even know what this is.

Maybe it's a building, so we need to get rid of the hole in the middle. It's a building without a roof.

What do I consider attractive?

I don't know, Mila, I guess.

Where's my eraser?

I got my face paints today, but I don't really feel in the mood to do it. It's weird, I got all excited about the face painting thing,

and I'm not sure what happened, but I, I feel like,

uh, I pressured myself. I don't know how to explain it. I put too much pressure on myself for it to be fun, and now I don't want to do it anymore.

So I'm worrying, what if it's not fun and then it's just a mess and I've got to clean it all up and then it looks stupid anyway?

It seemed like a good idea in my head, but now I have to actually do it.

Don't know.

Am I drawing a concentration camp? Maybe. I'm drawing the layout of my underground dungeon where I'm going to hold my enemies. One cell for Kanaito, one cell for Hong Kong guy.

Oh, I should play that game. You know that game with the prison? Prison Architect. Oh, we should play that, and then I'll make Hong Kong guy, and I'll have a cell for each of my enemies. Can you rename the prison inmates? I think you can. Oh my god, what was that? The sun hangs heavy and it can't

even compare to my nigger ass when it sits unmoved. Mover off these skis. No N-word, please.

Yeah, we definitely have to do that next stream.

I don't even think I have to buy it because I've already bought it before.

Or I could get The Sims

and make a prison house in The Sims. Which game should I get? Wow, I'm getting ideas.

You can make a prison dungeon in in The Sims or Prison Architect.

But if it's The Sims, I could, I could create them how they look like, make them really fat.

Wow, these— staring at these black and white lines is making my eyes go weird.

Uh, I don't know if I like this roof. I think I'll get rid of it.

Hmm.

Put more doors, doors and windows.

Imagine if someone paid me to do this. Imagine if you make a gig on Fiverr saying that you're a professional digital artist, and then they message you asking you what software you use and you say Microsoft Paint.

Jedi: Fallen Order is a cool game. I played it before. It's boring.

It's got a stupid main character.

Oh, what's that sound?

So these are hills in the background.

Yeah, it looks pretty good, wouldn't you say?

What else can you do on Paint? You can do like these curvy lines

like that, and you can make it curved. That's pretty cool.

So I can do a curvy line.

It's a bit tricky to do it properly.

How was my week? It was very uneventful and boring.

Same as every week.

Bloody stock market is going down again.

It doesn't make any sense. Bitcoin nearly got up to $64K,

but instead of the Bitcoin stocks going up, they just crashed. They went up a little bit and then it crashed. So now I'm down again, like £6,000. I was only down about £4,000 a couple days ago. Not making any progress.

And it's weird because the whole NASDAQ index is going up and it's straight back up to 14K, but the stocks are still down.

So when the NASDAQ goes down, all the stocks go down, The NASDAQ goes back up, the stocks still stay down.

Should have just put my money into the NASDAQ as the index, not instead of getting individual stocks.

Going to be waiting all year until I get my money back at this rate.

Sick and tired of stocks.

Oh,

this week absolutely nothing happened.

I can't think of anything interesting that happened. What happened on Monday?

I don't even remember. Every day is exactly the same.

Am I into MG Tao?

Not really. Oops.

But sometimes I do get tempted into thinking that way.

What's my best performing stock right now? My best performing stock is Walgreens.

They're pretty stable.

And probably Bank of America. I should have put more into, into those stable ones, but I was worried if I took it all out of the Bitcoin stuff, then I'll get left behind.

But it's just not going back up. It's been 2 months now since it all just crashed.

What happened to Macy's?

Macy's is doing okay,

but I don't have it anymore. I sold it ages ago.

I bought Macy's at around $10, I sold it at $17, but then I put those gains into stuff that ended up crashing, so it was a waste of time.

At least you made gains. Yeah, but then I lost them all, so I didn't make anything in the end.

It's all gone. Not even a penny.

How's the short doing?

I lost all my short money as well. So my shorting account had about £100 in it and now it only has £25. I shorted the NASDAQ. When it was around 13,200. Now it's up to 14,000. So in order to cover my shorts, I have— the NASDAQ has to go all the way back down to 13,000,

which I don't think is going to happen now. It's all the way back up to 14,000. So I've lost my money on my stocks, which haven't gone back up with the NASDAQ. And then I lost all my shorting money because the NASDAQ went up.

So it's stupid.

How come I didn't make any money?

Why aren't the stocks going up with the NASDAQ?

Ah, so frustrating.

And then I got margin called on my shorts, so I had to cover half my shorts, which meant I lost like £40. And I still have a bunch of other shorts that are still open,

so my shorting account is screwed. So good thing I only had £100 on it. Shorting is difficult. I feel like it's way easier to lose money trying to short stuff.

Not good.

Do I usually use Paint to draw? I usually use Procreate. If there's— if someone can tell me how I can connect my iPad to the computer and display the screen

Streamlabs, then I could just do it on my iPad, but I don't know how to do it and I can't be bothered to Google it.

It's very hard to draw people when it's this small.

I was

watching that Paulo guy, Paulo from Tokyo. He makes quite good videos, but his voice is so annoying. Why does he speak like he's talking to a 5-year-old.

The way he speaks, it's like he thinks his audience are all 10 years old. Today Mr. Tanaka is going to work. He wakes up at 8:00 AM. Shut the fuck up.

We're not babies. We're interested in Japan. You don't have to talk to us like we're a bunch of children.

Can't he just talk normally?

That's what pisses me off about most of the Japan channels. They have that irritating voice. It's only Chris that doesn't speak like an idiot, as if he's talking to a bunch of children.

Mr. Tanaka wakes up at 5 AM every day to go to work.

The videos are interesting. It's interesting to see that, how the Japanese people go to work and stuff. But his bloody voice— Paolo, shut up.

I like the, the firefighter one. Japanese firefighter.

Quite interesting. It's funny, he dresses up in a suit to go to the fire station, and then when he gets to the fire station, he changes out the suit to get into the firefighting gear. Why bother wearing a suit then? Just go to work in like jeans and t-shirt and then change into the firefighter gear.

He dresses all smartly in his suit jacket and tie and doesn't even wear it during the day. What's the point? Japanese— everyone's so amazed and impressed by how hardworking Japanese people are, but they do the most stupid pointless stuff sometimes.

It's like they all have OCD.

I would hate to work in a Japanese company. They just— oh, all these weird rituals they have.

Like when the night shift ends and the day shift starts, the night shift people stand in a line to like officially transition into the next shift. Daniel and Chihiro have xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

No, we didn't have X since 2020. What was

I saying?

Yeah, they have all these weird rituals, like the night shift staff would line up and then, I don't know, they do these weird exercises, stretches.

I would hate to do all that.

And then in the Japanese hotel video one, the manager has to go around doing fire drills pretending to shoot the fire extinguisher. Stupid.

I feel like they take work way too seriously.

You could do all these social rituals, otherwise they'll be like, we don't think you're putting enough effort into work

because you didn't do this and you didn't do that and you don't seem very eager.

You can't go to work like you hate work.

Mrs. Miyamoto's facts. I went into work every day looking like I hated it, and I hated having to pretend like I loved my work or my job.

I did everything half-assed as I possibly could, and I cut as many corners as I could. I hated working in Japan. It's just weird.

It's great if you're the customer, but can you imagine working in a hotel in Japan

and you've got to take it so seriously?

I think one of the good things about England is you don't have to be like that.

It's funny because when I was working at the petrol station, the people who were nagging me about not taking the job seriously were the bloody foreign people. The Nepal guy. The English people didn't really care because they were just as lazy, like they'd just sit around drinking tea and chatting. Not really taking the job really seriously.

But the Nepal guy was constantly whining, like those really, you know, Japanese people really proud of their job kind of people. He was like that. He came to the wrong country if he wants to be like a super stick-up-the-ass kind of worker. He'd love Japan.

Did I cut my hair again?

Hmm, I did some trimming, but not a huge amount. I can't get it to look good. I don't know why. I cut the fringe too short now.

Because every time I wake up, there's like a long strand that looks way longer than the rest of it, and then I have to trim it. And then I start trimming more and I get carried away, and now I don't like how it looks.

Fringe is way too short.

Man, you look sad. Do I look really sad?

Yeah, well, I feel a bit sad.

I mainly feel sad Because

I've completely lost motivation to even make videos now. I don't know why I can't do it anymore like I used to. I just can't get excited about making a video. At least even still last year, I was still kind of excited to think of a topic. I can't do it.

This is so difficult.

I spent maybe half an hour trying to film this video, and then I ended up only having 40 seconds, and then I scrapped it. Just stupid. I was like this: So it's been a few months since my last relationship ended, and I've been doing some thinking. Shut up.

Who fucking cares?

I can't even get motivated to do my own video.

I don't even know what to talk about.

The problem is there's nothing I want to talk about.

Oh, did you hear that? It's just weird because I can stream and I can just talk naturally like this. I don't really feel that awkward. But when I try and make a video and I press record, I suddenly feel all this pressure. Like, I have to think, how am I gonna word it? Make sure there's no tongue

clicking. Make sure my hair looks good. Make sure the lighting looks good. By the time I've got all that sorted, I can't be bothered anymore. I have to Do like a proper intro.

It's been 2 weeks since I last brushed my teeth, and I thought I'd do a video talking about how my breath smells.

I can't do it anymore. What am I gonna do?

The whole channel was about just stupid topics. I can't even talk about anything for longer than 10 seconds.

Just livestream on YouTube.

Yeah, maybe, but I wanted to give Twitch a try. I just wish I'd get my audience onto Twitch. Stupid YouTube.

How's my Samsung Galaxy Fold? I sold it in Rotterdam.

I miss the days when I thought of a topic and I really wanted to talk about the topic and I was excited to share my opinion on the topic. I was excited to see what people had to say, how they would react to my opinion.

I don't know why I can't do that anymore.

Maybe because I've, I've talked about everything. Maybe I have just talked about everything. Already. There's nothing I haven't talked about yet. There's nothing I haven't talked about left,

so I don't know what to do for videos now.

Hopefully your next Japan trip will revive your enthusiasm.

I don't know.

I feel like I would just end up feeling really lonely and sad, and then I'd be like, oh, I don't know why I came here.

All the girls I met were boring.

Japan can be pretty depressing sometimes.

It has this very lonely feeling to it, you know, like the scenery, the river and the building blocks, and then the sound of the train going across the bridge, and then the soulless cold convenience stores all look the same, copy and paste layout.

There's just something very robotic about Japan. This just feels sad.

Watching those Paolo from Tokyo videos

are kind of depressing. You see all these people working in a company and they act like robots.

There's no human emotion. It's just like a building full of Mr. Spocks going to work. Good morning, today we're going to work, today we're going to do training drill,

now is lunchtime. Like, where's the banter and where's the human touch? They're just so robotic.

They all live in a little shoebox on their own.

It's sad.

What about the butcher guy? I don't remember that. I think I saw it.

I feel like they take professionalism too far, and instead of coming across as professional, they just seem— yeah, they seem super professional, but then they just become like robots.

And then I checked out that Only in Japan channel. Who remembers that one? That one's had a bit of a weird twist to it. So the guy who was on it left, that John guy, and then they were trying to find a new guy to be the host, and they got that Dave Trippin guy. Who's like the

most stale, boring white guy who, who has a channel about Japan on all of YouTube. Somehow he became the new host and everyone hated him, and then he disappeared again from the videos. And now they're uploading like 10-second TikTok kind of videos. The channel is dead. That is how you kill your channel so easily.

Amazing. It had such great quality content and good production quality, that John guy. I don't know why he left. John Daub,

I think. Did they sell the channel and they got someone new or something?

Maybe you could make a video about why I hate Paulo. It's just the way he speaks is annoying. Can't he speak to the audience as if we're adults and not 5-year-old children? And maybe the audience are 5-year-old children if you look at his analytics. I don't know, I just can't stand it when people talk like that.

Let me show you

if you don't know.

Each shift they hold a similar meeting.

This is a day in the life of a Japanese hotel worker. This is day in the life Japanese hotel worker. Don't tell me he actually speaks like that.

He either sounds really gay, or he sounds really condescending, or he sounds patronizing, like he's talking to a child.

The hotel uses express checkout stands. The machine has a built-in sensor that recognizes the room number automatically. Why do you have to have a person next to the self-check-in machine if you— what's the point of having a machine doing it if you're going to have a person standing there anyway? Whole point of having a machine do it

is so you don't need a person.

Turn the checkout into the system while also notifying the— so Yohei checks in with a head chef to confirm the next day's menu so he can prepare signage as well as inform inquiring guests. Mmm, something smells good. Oh, there you go, breakfast is served. What's in here?

In

Japan, hotels are often used as evacuation locations, so storing food and water is necessary. So why did you decide to work at a hotel?

I originally liked customer service. Who the hell says that? Why did you want to work in a hotel? Oh, I love customer service so much. Weirdo.

I love when the customer smiles and I've done a good service for them.

Why would you love customer service?

Make me vomit in my

mouth. Who

actually likes serving customers? Wow, I'm getting flashbacks when I was drawing that picture.

I used to do this a lot actually when I streamed in Japan doing MS Paint. I drew a picture of a girl with purple hair, didn't I? And then Chihiro came home and hit me. I don't know why. She said, stop telling people I hit you, and then she hits me. You can hear the hitting.

Yeah, I used to do this technique where I would make the end of the line pointy like this. I haven't done this in ages.

It was quality content.

Wow, my eyes are going funny staring at black and white lines.

Do I play any games outside of Siege? No, I do not.

I tried playing Red Dead Redemption, but it was so boring, and now I realize I cannot play games where you have to focus on characters' story.

Any game that's about characters Or people, I can't play.

Because I don't care. It requires you to care about people. I just don't.

Red Dead Redemption, you have to go around a campsite talking to all the different people there to find out about their life and their history. Why would I care about some fake character sitting in a campsite?

I got bored and I just ended up riding around shooting people and tying them up and dragging them around. And then I, I racked up a big bounty, and then the sheriffs kept chasing me and tracking me down. I couldn't go anywhere without getting hunted, so I got fed up with it.

You know what Chris Broad said that I really don't like? He was on that Trash Taste podcast. He said that his dream is to become— he wants to work on television and do like producing stuff, and he saw— he sees YouTube as a stepping stone towards that dream.

So insulting.

People who see YouTube as a stepping stone are so lame. What is the biggest simp thing you have ever done for a girl?

Biggest simp thing?

Don't know.

I went all the way to Germany to win her back. I made all those videos about spirituality to impress her. That's pretty lame.

Yeah, every time I hear people say they're using YouTube as a stepping stone, I get triggered. Like those wannabe musicians, they only have a channel because they want to become some megastar and they don't want to be a YouTuber. It's like they look down on YouTubers.

What did Chris say in that podcast? He said he only plans to live in Japan for maybe a couple more years and then he'll consider going back to England. To try a different career, and then they asked him what career would that be. He said something in television, and then he said he sees his— he sees YouTube

as a stepping stone towards achieving that goal.

YouTube is not a stepping stone.

YouTube is like the final destination that you would want to be on. Why would you want to work for some stupid television program? Having your own successful channel is way, way better than a stupid TV channel. So that's the difference between Chris and TotalBiscuit. TotalBiscuit also discussed the same thing, and TotalBiscuit said the complete opposite. He said

he did not see YouTube as a stepping stone. YouTube was where he wanted to be because that's where he has all of the control and the most influence and where his viewers can watch his content directly. And I was like,

I love you, John. Rest in peace.

TotalBiscuit, I love that guy.

He respected YouTube as a platform. Chris doesn't respect YouTube as a platform. He sees it as a stepping stone on his way to becoming the next Chris Charlie Brooker. Yeah, he even said that. He said he was inspired by Charlie Brooker. Wants to become like a documentary filmmaker. YouTube's not good enough for Chris.

What a piss take. Should kick him off YouTube for saying that.

People like me busting their balls off and their channel still dies.

I'd kill for 2 million subs.

Kill your mum.

Did I hear Mira pass away? Who's Mira? Myra?

Why do I have such a delay on your stream? I don't know, do I look like a Twitch technical analysis guy. Refresh the page, maybe.

Yeah, Chris said, or someone else said that Chris said, that he was inspired by Top Gear and Charlie Brooker. Yeah, I did think that a few times, that, um, sometimes it, it felt kind of Top Gear-ish. Especially his Journey Across Japan series is very Top Gear-ish. Top Gear, they always did stuff like, we have to get from

this city to this city in a shitty crappy car, and then Richard is going to do it on a bicycle, and then James is going to do it in a boat.

Everyone's chat is delayed. What do you mean? Do you mean the chat on the screen? Because I have half the chat on the screen hidden at the bottom because it's getting in the way.

You're a fringe weirdo cult artist and you should be proud. Yeah, I am proud, thanks. I don't want to make stupid-length documentaries. I thought about what would Chris say about the Olympics in Japan, because there's a bit of controversy about it. A lot of Japanese people are upset about the Olympics going ahead.

I guess you could make some kind of documentary about it, like how the 2021 Olympics is going to financially cripple Japan, or why Japanese people hate the Olympics, and then you could come up with all these facts. It's boring. I don't care. I don't want to do that. I want to talk about how much I hate everyone

in my life and why my ex-girlfriend was a bitch. That's what I like doing. I don't want to make documentary.

I don't even know what I'd make it about. I'm not really a filmmaker, I'm just a vlogger

who whines.

I don't really find these Japan topic videos interesting. I don't find any videos on Nobita's channel interesting. Even the porn star stuff.

Not interested in homeless Japanese girls and Buddhism in Japan and whatever.

Boring. Not interested in anything. That's why I'm so

bored. Don't know why I don't feel interested in anything recently. Do you think I'm depressed?

Nob Beta.

That is pretty funny.

He unironically decided to call himself Nobita, but it sounds like novice.

That's why it's funny, because he definitely didn't know or doesn't even realize what it sounds like to an English speaker. To Japanese people, they just think, oh, Nobita from Doraemon, that cartoon.

No, Peter,

that cracks me up.

Why won't Sam release your collab? I don't know, he keeps saying he's, he's still working on it. It's been 2 years. What is he doing to it? Maybe he's trying to edit out all my pimples. That's why it's taking so long. I hope he doesn't release it. My skin was so bad when I met him. I had

all these outbreaks,

and then he was using the iPhone, which has no skin filter. He took a photo of us and I had like pimples everywhere. It looks terrible.

Have I whitened my teeth? No, but for some reason my teeth look really white in this stream.

I don't know, I think it's the white balance.

They look good.

I like the way the text-to-speech pronounces Nobita.

Nobita. Can I turn off the filter? I don't have a filter on. It's just because I'm streaming at low quality, it's not picking up the detail. There's no skin filter on Streamlabs. If I had better internet, you could probably see more detail. So you can probably see red here because I got a pimple. I've had this scar

here as well for ages. There's nothing there, it's just a scarf from when I had one back in January.

I've got my face paints.

They're just like water paints. I don't know why— what difference. Face and body painting. Maybe I'll paint my dick. And it also came with these template stickers.

I don't really feel like doing it. I don't know when to do it. I should have done it yesterday when there was no one at home, but I didn't feel in the mood. If I do it now, the lighting is kind of rubbish. Do you think the lighting, lighting is good enough? And then my face is kind

of oily. I don't know if that matters.

Twitch is cool with blackface. Don't lie to me, I googled it as well and they said some people got banned or suspended.

Some people got suspended because of it. Oh, so stupid. Last stream, remember I showed Ice Poseidon When I met Ice Poseidon, I was showing it. Oh my god, I could have gotten banned for that. I didn't realize, but Twitch really, really, really hates Ice Poseidon.

So the first rule is if you feature or if you stream with any person who's been banned on Twitch, you can also get banned. But I'm not sure about showing just like video, old video footage of them.

That might be okay, but still it's risky and it was really dumb of me.

I think some other streamer got a suspension because they played that Twitch livestream fails clips and Ice Poseidon was in one of them.

I had to quickly take the stream VOD down so they didn't notice.

How's the money situation?

Same, same really, which is sad because I was expecting to be making all this money from stocks.

Is Ice still with his girlfriend? I think so.

He still hasn't gone live since he got stream sniped in New York. He must have been really upset about it. And then that made me start to think— I felt kind of bad. I feel kind of bad now that I stream sniped him,

because back in 2019 I was still thinking of Ice as old Ice from the Twitch days. I didn't realize that he seems to have gone through a lot of depression and trauma because of all the swatting and sniping. I found one video where he just— he loses it. Some— it was 2 years ago or more. Some brown

kid just appears on the stream and starts laughing at him about getting swatted. And then Ice just like— he goes mental, starts screaming at the kid.

He was like, I've been swatted 40 times. I had guns pointed at me. It's not fucking funny, bro. You think it's fucking funny? His voice cracks. I never heard his voice crack like that. He was like, wow, he was triggered, and I felt bad. You could— you don't realize how much it affects him. You watch it as

a viewer and you think, oh, that's good entertainment. And I, I feel guilty because I used to think it was funny, the swatting stuff. I thought it was entertaining and interesting. But you put yourself in his shoes and you've got police kicking the door down and pointing guns at you. That must be pretty scary,

especially if it's happened like 40 times. And then people don't have any compassion or empathy for him. They just think it's a big joke, and they say, why are you crying about it, Ice? Stop being a pussy. That must be really annoying. I felt a bit bad that I, I also sniped him, and I did it also

because I wanted clout. Like, I was clout chasing as well, which is even worse. I did it to make content, to say, hey look, I met Ice. I had a pretty shitty reason to snipe him.

Kind of regret it. I wouldn't do it again if I had the opportunity to. I should have just went and said hi, take a photo, and then left. I made— I tried to make a big fuss about it.

Started streaming him secretly. I feel like such a dick.

I feel like writing an apology and sending it to him on Twitter. He probably doesn't really care that much because

it's not like I was a toxic sniper or anything.

He's probably forgotten about it, but still, I feel bad about it because I've been watching him quite a lot recently and I can kind of relate to his struggles on like a smaller scale.

To be honest, back then I wasn't really keeping up with his content that much. I watched him now and then, but back in 2017, but after the Twitch ban, I kind of lost interest. I wasn't really aware of his situation. I was wondering why he seemed so depressed when I met him. Like, he just seemed like he

had no energy. I thought maybe that's just what he's like off camera.

I feel a bit sad for him.

Then he couldn't even do a stream in New York. He had that weirdo sniping. Interesting that people say you are a sociopath, yet you seem to care so much about this. You have a very interesting psychology. Yeah, that's what pisses me off. All these people who just watch a couple of my videos, they, they just think I'm

like this emotionless feelingless robot who just uses people. They don't know anything about me. I get very—

if I've done something bad and I feel guilty about it,

it does— it kind of haunts me, and I feel bad about it genuinely.

But it usually takes me a while to reach that point. It's like when I was cheating on Chihiro, I didn't really feel bad, but then after a while, after,

after the event is over and I've had some time to reflect on it, I feel pretty guilty about it. I did apologize to her, sent her a message. I didn't want to make a video and make it all public and make it into content because that's just lame.

How's the market for me today? Pretty bad,

but it did bounce back at the end of the day, so should be good. I bought more shares of BNGO and Riot,

but I've got way too many shares of them now, so hopefully they go back up and I'll sell a bit.

The problem is you get caught up in the moment when things are happening, and then you need some time alone to reflect on things and then realize, yeah, maybe what I said and did was pretty bad. And then you kind of have to apologize, otherwise it eats away at you.

But I feel awkward messaging Ice. I'm— I feel like he would reply. He seems like he does reply to people on Twitter, but I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to get clout again, or I'm just doing it for content.

I don't know.

I don't want to make a video apologizing, like, my apology to Paul. That just seems like I'm just doing it for views. But then I feel awkward sending him a message because he'll probably just be like, oh, it's fine, dude, don't worry.

But then what if he, he doesn't accept my apology and he was upset about it? Then it'd be weird. Maybe just let it go.

Yeah, he got stream sniped by a bunch of dickheads in New York.

Memology 101 also made a video about this guy. He's called Smooth Sanchez, and he's the cringiest, most annoying idiots I've ever seen. He did like one of those fake bomb threats. He's like one of those cringy wannabe IRL streamers who basically just goes around the streets harassing people and annoying people. I think he got arrested.

He's so annoying, I can't stand him.

And I feel ashamed that I used to be a bit like him. Like, I used to think it was funny being

annoying out in public because it's, you know, in IRL streams what you have to do. You're just irritating people. People just trying to live their lives and you're going up to them, shoving your camera in their face and irritating them. It's just disgusting. I think it should be banned off YouTube, to be honest.

And I think Ice influenced a lot of people to get into that kind of streaming. There was a lot of

wannabe Ice Poseidons that took it too far. There's one called Arab Andy. He used to do similar, similar stuff. He got arrested.

He's just being an annoying dickhead in public. It's not funny, it's cringe.

And I feel kind of ashamed myself that I I also thought it was funny to go and snipe Ice when he was in Japan.

I guess you could also say it's a bit like karma, isn't it, for Ice? Because Ice also used to do that. He would go out in public and harass people and be really toxic and troll people in public and irritate them. For content. Now it's kind of like biting him back in the backside because he's attracted a

huge audience who thinks that's funny and they, they want to do it too. So they want to do it back to him because they see him as like the king of IRL. So it makes sense why he's, he's tried to rebrand himself and he's cut off ties with the Andys. It is all just toxic nonsense.

So do you believe in karma? I don't know, I don't like to believe in that stuff, but I'm starting to believe that what you put out you get back is kind of true.

So now the stuff Ice used to do is happening to him and he doesn't like it.

But I still feel sorry for Ice, but in a way it is kind of like what goes around comes around kind of thing.

This is strange because some people like Andy Milonakis can livestream in New York with 4K people watching him and then nothing really happens to him. Some people come up and say hi And it's completely fine. But then when Ice does it, he gets like a bunch of weirdos

trying to cause trouble. He just has— he has people watching him or who are fans of him that you don't really want as fans.

They're kind of scary as human beings. You don't want the attention of those people.

Unfortunately, I also have people like that, mostly on my subreddit.

But fortunately, I never became really, really big

to have to worry about it too much.

But maybe,

yeah, early 2018, late 2017, I was really influenced by that kind of toxic content, like the Ice kind of way of streaming. And getting attention.

It's probably what inspired all of my drama stuff,

all of the weird drama stuff. I think I was a bit influenced by it.

Sell t-shirts.

I have t-shirts on my merch store.

That's why I don't really want to make more videos about girlfriend stuff, because you attract these weird incel types.

What do I think about Only in Japan channel? It was good when John was on it. John Daub. He does live streaming too now, doesn't he? He focuses on live streaming. What's it called? Only in Japan Go.

I haven't watched him in ages.

Oh, he streamed 19 hours ago.

Why did he leave the channel? Now he has his own channel, it's called Only in Japan John Daub, and he's got 106K subs. I've got more subs than John.

He's only got 2 million views.

I finally hit 108,000 subs and no one even congratulated me. Not even a single comment saying, oh wow, Daniel hit 108k subs. No one even notices anymore.

I hit 108k a couple weeks ago and then I lost about 100 subs because of my new video. And it finally went back over 108k again. It's kind of like stocks, my sub count. I hit a new all-time high and then it drops back down, and then it takes weeks again to regain that all-time high.

I think my Simon and Martina title must have must have caught the attention of some old subs who forgot to unsub. I bet there's a bunch of people who forgot they're subbed to me, and then if I somehow made a topic about something that will get recommended to them, they'll be like, oh, I forgot I subbed to

this weirdo, unsub. There's a huge segment of my audience who don't watch, and they They might come back if I made a video about a topic that they care about.

That's the strange thing about my channel. It was like 15k who were there because they care about my personal life,

20k who cared about the Japan stuff, and then 30k who only cared about drama. And then maybe 10K who cared about anime, and then like 100 who cared about cooking. Such a fragmented audience.

I can't really do the Japan stuff anymore because I'm not in Japan.

Uh, I can't really do the trainwreck drama stuff because there isn't any.

So I feel a bit stuck about what to do. I can do the whole moaning about how much my life sucks, but I'm gonna run out of topics. I've already done Why I Have No Motivation, How I Wasted My Life. Could do Why My Life Is Going Nowhere.

Oh, thank you, Hyaju90. Very generous.

How's the Pia Caesium situation? Pia messaged me. She said she doesn't hate me and she's not plotting revenge.

So that's good.

The dono bar's not updating. I think it is.

It should be.

Should have covered tourist spots in Osaka. I did. I went to Osaka Castle and I went to

USJ. How much— how many views did you USJ video yet? I think I took down the Osaka video because Chihiro was complaining. I might put it back up. Yeah, it's private. Visiting Osaka with my— I also privated the USJ video. Maybe she'll be okay if I put it back up.

When last year when she was angry, she told me to take them down.

But they were good. I want to put them back up.

I've got 2 videos going to Kyoto,

but they never got good views. It was just like 20k views.

It's not amazing.

There's not many touristy places in Osaka. There's USJ, the castle, the aquarium,

and then a bunch of food stuff, I guess.

USJ was really boring. Why didn't you go on any rides? Because I hate rides. I refused to go on them. Me and Mida went to

a theme park on the way back from The Hague. They had like a nighttime carnival with rides, and Mida kept trying to get me to ride the big roller coaster thing. She was like begging me, and I kept saying no, and she was all upset.

Via G-I-N-A-V-V. Oh, thank you. Via G-I-N-A-V-I-A.

Yeah, that day was really bad. It started off really good. We went to the beach, went to The Hague, had a really nice time playing with the waves and the sea, had a really nice meal. It was kind of romantic sitting on the beach. You know, have all those restaurants on the beach in The Hague. We sat

on the beach next to a fire. We had a burger, chips. It was really nice. And we got on the train— on the tram to come back home. And then we saw all these lights and Mida said, let's go and have a look. And then she really wanted to ride the roller coaster and the big swinging thing.

And I was like, no, I'm gonna hate it. I hate roller coasters and heights. And she was like, please, please, let's just go, just go once, please, oh, come on, please.

And I just had to say no.

She managed to get me to do this— there was like a bouncy platform with a pole that span around, and then you had to jump, you had to jump over the spinning pole. We did that, And I fell awkwardly on my stomach and my back cracked and I had this back pain for like a week afterwards. I

hated it. And we did, um, archery. That was nice, I guess. Bow and arrows. But I felt— I felt guilty because

I felt like I was boring and she wanted to do all this fun stuff and I didn't let her. I felt really down.

That was probably one of the reasons why she broke up with me. I hate it. I hate roller coasters and rides and getting wet and going up a big tower and then suddenly dropping down.

It's just not fun.

Can I close the desync window? What's the desync window?

Do you mean the MS Paint? Yeah, I'm a bit bored of MS Paint now. I might close it.

Yeah, I think one of the reasons Mila got bored with me is because I never wanted to do anything exciting. You are presumably healthy, so be happy, Daniel. Oh wow, thank you, Smith Dre's Train. I hope I'm healthy. I hope I don't have some kind of hidden cancer. I get worried about my ball sometimes.

There is like an aching feeling in my right ball. Right now I don't feel anything, it's fine, but some days, it's like 1 or 2 days in a month, I feel like this aching pain in my groin. It's not really bad, but it's definitely noticeable. D-R-N-I-E-L-R-N-D-C-H-I-H-I-R-O-D-E-S-U-D-R-N-I-E-L-R-N-D-M-I-L-A.

Yeah, I was always worried Mila would dump me because I'm boring.

I don't want to do scary stuff. I don't want to do adrenaline rush stuff like skydiving, bungee dumping. Bungee dumping? What's that? Bungee jumping. I am pretty boring, I guess.

I like to go to nice places, like the observation deck in Germany was really nice. Up in the trees. I don't like falling, and I don't like roller coasters. I don't like going upside down. I don't like getting wet, so I don't like water sports. I don't like go-karting.

But Mila is very active, like she wants to do all this stuff.

I want to go to a nice restaurant that's cozy and has good food, and then have a nice evening walk by a river and enjoy the scenery.

That's what I like.

And then she would say— suggest doing stuff that I really didn't want to do, like hitchhiking. No, hitchhike. She said she wants to go to Ukraine and then hitchhike to Russia. I would hate that.

I'm not bold and bankrupt. She would love bold and bankrupt, I think. She would love someone who's all charismatic and confident, not scared of people.

Why'd I delete the last stream? Because I showed Ice Poseidon,

and I don't think you're allowed to. Wait, can I get in trouble for admitting I showed Ice Poseidon?

I did not show Ice Poseidon.

One video Mira showed me on her Instagram, she was messing around with some Korean guy. And he had like a Harley-Davidson, one of those massive motorbikes, and she was riding it really fast up and down the road. And the guy, the Korean guy, was like shouting at her going, don't damage my bike, slow down!

That was like a massive turn-off.

But she thinks that kind of stuff is cool. Like illegally riding a motorbike really fast up and down without a driver's license. Or she probably thinks stuff like riding a trolley into a river and then getting all wet is a big laugh. I think it's just stupid, immature.

I am not amused. Her whole Instagram I hated. I remember when she was here, she would always be on her Instagram looking at her own videos, and I would look at them from the side, and I'd just be constantly thinking, my God, the hell were you doing? And she had videos where she was jumping into piles of

rubbish, garbage in Korea. She had videos of her getting up on the bar of some pub Like dancing. They're doing all this dumb stuff, like stuff you would expect to see on something like— what's that movie?

I forgot the name. There's a movie where a bunch of people just did dumb stuff all the time.

I really want to know what that movie is called.

There's a bunch of them. Yeah, Jackass. Yes,

it was like Jackass kind of dumb stuff. Her Instagram videos were all just like a bunch of idiots screaming and shouting and being stupid in public. And I thought, oh my God, you're not gonna do that with me, are you? You're not expecting me to do that.

I think she changed a little bit. She calmed down a bit.

But it's like she's got this— she desperately wants to do attention-grabbing stuff in front of her friends. Like really lame childish stuff. So her friends go, oh my God, Mila, I can't believe you did that. And then she's like, yeah, whatever, I'm so cool. It's just lame.

I cringed every time I saw her Instagram videos.

I got silenced for saying jackass. Yeah, I think ass is on my filter list.

She seemed really sweet with you. Yeah, I think maybe she matured since then, or maybe she was trying to please me.

Who knows? Maybe she's gone back to how she used to be. I don't mind doing silly stuff, but I have limits. I don't want to embarrass myself in public.

Can I turn off Streamlabs mod? I don't know, I feel like we need a little bit of moderation. You can't send the word lord. What? Let me try.

I can.

Would I buy the PS5? No.

I'm tempted to get a MacBook, but I'm not sure how well it can run Streamlabs. If it can run Streamlabs well, I'd be tempted. Then I could bring it out into the garden.

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is being a nuisance in public, being loud, disturbing people, being annoying.

Something I really hate. And attracting attention to yourself outside is something I hate. She would just shout my name in shops. So we'd go to shops and then she would go, Daniel! And everyone would look up and look at me and I'd feel so embarrassed.

Who messaged me?

Oh yeah, the word Lord is censored. Weird. I'll check it later.

The main thing I'm worried about the MacBook is,

is the M1 chip. Does it work well with Streamlabs, and does it matter if it doesn't have like a special graphics card? So it has like the integrated M1 graph— you, your beard is growing, you can see it.

I didn't shave yesterday or today.

But then if I get the MacBook, it means I'm sacrificing being able to play Rainbow Six when I travel, and I'm not sure if I can do that. I guess I was fine in Rotterdam without Rainbow Six. I just played a Vainglory, and that was pretty good to kill time. Also Dungeon— Darkest Dungeon's also pretty fun.

Low viewers today. I think it's the title. I guess graphic design is not an interesting title.

I should have named it, I don't know, why I hate Mina or something.

Does your beard grow on your face or just your neck? It's not on my neck, it's on my chin. I don't get any hair on my neck. It's on my chin and then up here.

Have I ever played Xbox? Yeah, I used to have an Xbox and the Xbox 2, Xbox 360.

I used to get bullied at school for having an Xbox because everyone else had a PS2. When Xbox first came out, people used to think you were a loser if you had an Xbox because it looks ugly, it didn't have all the famous popular games like GTA or Final Fantasy,

and then it had these new games like Halo that no one had ever heard of before, and they were like, oh, Halo is is lame.

Halo— I loved Halo. It was my favorite game.

Why I'm Getting Back with Chihiro, new title. Yeah, then people would come.

People used to make fun of me saying stuff like, Daniel can't afford a PlayStation 2, he's got a stupid X brick.

I used to have a PlayStation 2 and then my mum chucked it out the window because I was fighting with my sister and it smashed, and then she bought me the Xbox afterwards to say sorry.

I actually like the Xbox more. Because it had Halo.

But remember, GTA used to be PlayStation exclusive. You could only get San Andreas on PlayStation 2, I think, in the beginning.

And PlayStation had some kind of exclusive football game. That everyone was really into. I think it was Pro Evolution. Remember football games? They used to be really big. And wrestling games. WWF 2002. You could make your own wrestler and you can customize his moves, and it's got Stone Cold Steve Austin and Kane and The Undertaker and The

Rock. The famous ones, you can play as them. The WWF games used to be hot stuff. I used to love them. I made my own wrestler. I made it so he could do backflips and stuff.

Did my dad like any sports? No, he hated sports and he hated games.

He hated anything that was like playing. He likes— oh no, he likes skiing. Is that a sport? I guess it is. He really, really liked skiing. He took us all skiing 2008 or 2007. We all went to France and I hated it because I was addicted to World of Warcraft. He got angry with me because I was

just sitting around sulking instead of skiing. I tried it, but it was just boring. You go up the mountain, then you slide down the mountain, then you go back up, and then you slide back down, then you go back up. It's just like the same thing over and over again.

And I was so addicted to World of Warcraft, I didn't realize that I'd be so depressed if I couldn't play it.

And then he started going skiing with my uncle, because my uncle likes going as well. Kind of sad. I wonder when his last skiing trip was.

And then he got too old, and then he stopped going.

But he had like the ski gear, the goggles, the jacket.

He took us— I remember he took us to the dry slopes and then they would teach us how to ski. And I was like, I don't need people teaching me how to ski, so easy. But they did teach really dumb, obvious stuff, like if you want to walk sideways, you have to make your legs like this. And

then to stop, you have to make a V-shape so you stop sliding forwards.

Duh. How could you not know this stuff? Why do you need to be taught that you need to make a V-shape to stop going forwards? It's like obvious—

obvious— what's the word? Physics.

I hate being taught stuff.

I don't feel like I need to be taught basic things like that. I'm just wasting my time.

As if I'm so dumb I don't know how to make a V-shape to stop.

Did I try the antifungal cream? No, I haven't unboxed it yet. I was gonna save it for the stream.

Yeah, I feel a bit sorry for my dad. He did try, he did try to get his son into things that he liked, but I just kind of automatically hated everything he liked. I was like, oh, my dad likes that, I'm gonna hate it.

But that's just what I'm like. I like to rebel and I like to go my own way.

I don't like following people.

If, if a load of people say, oh, I love rugby, I'd probably be the opposite and say, oh, I hate rugby.

Tree tea, tea tree oil, eucalyptus. And lavender oil, antifungal,

for external use only.

That's why I like things like metal. So everyone loves pop music, that's why it's called pop music, because it's popular music. Well, everyone loves rap, so I'd be the opposite. I'd say I hate pop and I hate rap. I like metal. One of the least most— least popular music genres is pretty metal. I like stuff to be

different. I don't like liking what everyone likes.

Oh,

that's not what I was expecting. Why is it yellow?

And why does it look like Cheese. I was expecting like a creamy white consistency. It looks weird.

It smells—

it smells okay. It's like a minty smell,

like that VapoRub you rub on your chest. It looks strange. Look at it, it's all

Um, it's in lumps.

Should I put some on?

Oh, it's like jelly.

No, you know what it's like? It's like cold custard that's become firm. You touch it, it's like jelly. It doesn't even come off like a liquidy cream.

I think I'll put it on later.

Didn't think it would be yellow.

It looks like custard.

Oh, it's sticky as well.

It's got macadamia nut oil, canola oil, olive oil. It's got all oils in it.

Rose oil.

Hmm,

I want to put it on my foreskin, see what happens.

Maybe I'll do it— I'll have a bath tomorrow and then I'll put it on afterwards.

I don't really listen to music now. Sometimes people ask me what music I'm into. I don't like— I haven't listened to music all year because

it triggers memories. I don't like it. So if I listen to Powerwolf, I was really into Powerwolf back when I was with Mila. So if I listen to Powerwolf, I'm instantly gonna remember, get flashbacks of Mila, and then I'll feel sad. If I listen to My Chemical Romance, I get flashbacks of when I was a teenager and

and I'll feel sad. So any music I used to like listening to is instantly going to remind me of the past, which I don't like. I don't like my mood to be affected by music. If I listen to— if the song's sad, it's going to make me sad.

If the lyrics— if I relate to the lyrics, I'll feel sad. So I just stopped listening to music since. I think since I went to Germany, I just stopped.

Do I cut my hair myself? Yes, I do.

The only music I listen to now is the Monkey Island soundtrack because it makes me feel warm and relaxed. It doesn't trigger my emotions. It doesn't trigger my negative emotions.

So I don't really listen to anyone now.

I used to love Sabaton, Powerwolf, and those kind of weird metal bands, but now I get these intense nostalgic feelings from last year when I was all heartbroken. I used to listen to Powerwolf after Muda dumped me the first time and went back home to Rotterdam and she left my house. I started listening to lots of Powerwolf

whilst I worked out, and I was doing my exercise whilst listening to it all day.

So now I'm scared.

Oh, there's one song that reminded me of her because it was about wolves and she really likes wolves. She had all these t-shirts that had a wolf on it.

And then I remember we were on the train in Germany and we listened to music,

and then I listened to that song with her, and I was like, wow, I can't believe we're back together. And I'm listening to the song that I was listening to when I was sad. It was really weird, like a dream.

Germany was good. I wish I could have streamed everything that was happening. It would have been funny. I would have been like, oh my God, Miru said she's coming tomorrow. I need to clean up my Airbnb. I have to keep it all a secret.

I couldn't believe she actually came. I thought she was just messing around,

and I was pacing up and down all day long staring at the clock going, where is she? Why isn't she here yet? Oh, she said she's going to be an hour late. Is she actually coming?

And then she knocked on the door and I was like, oh my God, she actually came.

It was so fun and exciting.

Get AirPods Pro. Are those the big headset ones? No, I don't like wearing headsets.

I don't like not being able to hear my surroundings.

And she had such a nice outfit when she came to Germany. She had these really short shorts, and then she just had like a short tank top where you could see her belly and her shoulders and collarbone. I guess you would say it's a bit slutty, but it was pretty hot.

And then she hugged me when she came in. I put my hands around her waist. It was hot.

I was so nervous. I wasn't sure what to do. I wasn't sure if it was okay to be intimate with her, or I don't know if we're going to have sex later, or I don't know. And then we went to the train station. She held my hand. And I was like, okay, yeah, she still likes me.

It was so romantic. We were holding hands and touching. It was like this epic reunion where neither of us thought we were going to see each other again, and it had been ages. Well, not that long. Been about a few months, I think, since she left my house. But it felt like it'd been ages.

Oh, sweet memories.

Why can't relationships just be exciting like that all the time? Why is it just the beginning? The only way to reignite that kind of excitement is if you're in a long-distance relationship. And you separate for a couple months and then you really miss each other.

But when you're seeing each other every day, you get used to it and it wears off and you get bored and you get annoyed.

I don't know how I'd feel now if she messaged me saying, I really miss you, Daniel, do you want to meet up? Because I don't feel as strongly for her like I did last year when she first dumped me and I was all heartbroken. Remember when I was all heartbroken? I was making all those emo tweets. I

drew that really emo picture of the guy with his heart being exploded. I made all those weird videos like, I need to change, my spiritual awakening, and I dug that hole as well. I was so messed up.

But now, I don't know how I feel about her. I definitely don't have the same intense feelings like I had last year.

I don't know if I really miss her.

Maybe I felt like I got my fill of Mina. To satisfy me. I didn't feel like I had enough last year after she left my home, and I wanted more. I don't really feel angry, or I don't really hate her.

But yeah, I definitely don't feel the same as last year. Last year, every evening I'd go out into the garden, like right to the back of the garden where no one could see me, and I would just pace up and down like this, and then I'd start crying. I'd be like

For hours. I'd do that for like an hour or 2 hours every day. I was going insane. That's why I started digging the hole.

I'd be like this.

Just pacing up and down like a madman, and then I'd just cry my eyes out in the garden. You guys have no idea. If you thought I was acting weird on Twitter and YouTube, that was just like 5% of it. That was like the tip of what was actually happening. I was having a mental breakdown every night,

and then I'd go to bed at night and I'd just lie there crying.

Ah, I missed her so much.

I cried nearly every day

after she left.

I was getting annoyed the last week when she was here. And I thought that I wouldn't care if she left, and as soon as she left, I was like, oh my God, I shouldn't have let her go. It's so quiet now. I miss her pestering me, and I miss her loud, annoying voice. I went out into the

garden and cried straight away.

I had no idea miss her so badly so quickly.

Last year was tough,

but now I don't know, I don't really feel like that.

I felt relieved when it was over and I came back home. I was excited to be back home again, not have to spend 1,000 €600 a month living in Rotterdam, and then we weren't even doing anything anyway. She would just come over about 3 days a week, and then we'd just go shopping, get food, and then we'd

watch Netflix, and then we'd eat, and then we'd sleep. And then the next day we'd wake up, have coffee, have lunch, have dinner, watch Netflix, go to sleep. It was so boring nearing the end.

And I felt like we couldn't do anything. We couldn't go anywhere because she got the cat and then she got a job.

And then I think because of lockdown, a lot of stuff was closed anyway. And I was in this weird mood, like I was addicted to stocks, and I was all moody all the time. I didn't want to do anything.

I didn't know where to take her anyway.

I wonder if she noticed.

I wonder if she realized how much I liked her, because you know me,

um, I've never really had strong feelings for any girls, you know. I just sleep with them and then we'd break up and I'd be like, whatever.

I never cried over a girl so much, but I wonder if she knew that I had actual real feelings for her. I don't think I did a good job conveying it. I kept it very secret.

I didn't really show my emotion.

The only other time I was really heartbroken over a girl was Sayaka, the first girlfriend who I never met. But after that, I just— I had girlfriend after girlfriend and they were meaningless. I didn't care about any of them.

It was scary. I don't know if I want to do that again.

When you have such intense feelings for another person and then you lose them, it's the worst feeling ever. It was horrible. I was depressed every day and there was nothing I could do to break out of it. I tried exercise, I tried digging a hole, I tried talking to people. Nothing helped. The only thing that helped was

watching these tarot card videos. I don't know if I talked about this because I was embarrassed about it. I guess I can talk about it now. I don't know why I kept it a secret. I don't know if anyone knows about twin flames. So the idea of the twin flame— I was so into this last year— the

idea of twin flames is that

2 bodies are part of one soul, and then you're like half the soul, and then your twin flame is also the other half of the soul, and then you're like— the universe kind of like brings you together But then because one of you has intense feelings for the other one, it scares them off and they run. So

you have the runner and the chaser, and then the chaser has these intense feelings, which is what I had. And the more you chase, the more they will run. So you had to like train yourself to stop chasing and to let go, and then they will naturally come back to you. Like you manifest them back into your

life. And I was obsessed with this. I watched this channel called All Star Something, tiny, tiny channel, and then he would explain all this. There was this thing called the Dark Night of the Moon where you have like a mental breakdown after you lost the twin flame.

Yeah, someone messaged me on Twitter saying that they think Mila is my twin flame, so I googled it and I found all these channels and I became hooked. And I'd watch his channel every night for his tarot card readings.

And then there would be videos like, today's tarot card reading, your twin flame is thinking about you, they're making life changes to re-enter your life, they're doing this and they're doing that. And I was hooked, I was addicted,

and it was the only thing keeping me sane because I'd see the title of the new video and it'd be like, your Your twin flame is regretting leaving you, and I'd be like, oh my god, she misses me, oh my god, she's preparing to see me again. And the funny thing is, you might be thinking, oh, this

is all a load of rubbish, but it actually came true. She did message me again, we did meet up again.

It was so weird because I also think all that tarot stuff is a load of rubbish. But then I got really into it,

and I swear the night before she messaged me, the twin card reading was something like, your twin flame is gonna message you out of the blue. And then the next day she messaged me when I was on the train coming back from that Airbnb in Germany. She messaged me and I was like, oh my God, she's messaging

me. I was having a heart attack on the train.

That was the only thing keeping me sane, those bloody tarot card readings. I haven't checked that channel since then. I wonder what he's doing now.

Oh, he gained 10K subs. That's good for him.

Yeah, he's still doing the same stuff.

Twin flames. Divine feminine is reeling divine masculine in like a boss. I can't live without you. DM bright future with DF. DM worried sick about DF. I wasn't sure if I was the DF or the DM. I think I was the DF because I have like feminine energy. So if you're divine feminine,

you're like the woman. But also a man can, can be the feminine if they have like feminine energy. But some people say I'm not the feminine, I'm the masculine. But I don't think I was. So I'd check the channel and I'd be like,

DM comes crawling back. Oh my God, she wants me again. I kept this a secret because I was so embarrassed about it.

And then I told Mila about it the first time— no, the second time she tried breaking up with me in Rotterdam. She was at my place and she tried breaking up with me, and I told her about this stuff, and then I just burst out in tears. I was like, I was watching twin flame videos and

I can't remember what I said. What did I say?

I don't know, but I was explaining it to her and I just burst out in tears. And then you messaged me and I'm so happy. And I was just crying. I was like this mess.

Ah,

what a journey.

But the twin flame stuff's quite interesting.

But he said you don't have to be with your twin flame. Some people find their twin flames and they decide that it's not for them and they just go their separate ways. They find a soulmate. So soulmates and twin flames are supposed to be different.

I forgot what the difference is. He says something like twin flames are not supposed to be about being in love, it's just about

Real— realigning something, making your soul whole again. But as soon as you get all attached and in love, then it's gonna drive them away. If you want that, then you need a soulmate. So all this stuff I learned all about it,

kind of funny now.

But it's weird how it, it kind of came true. Like, I, I did teach myself to stop caring about her so much, and I tried to let go, and I went to Germany and I had some fun, did my own thing, and then she kind of like magically came back into my life without me really doing anything,

and I felt like, wow, did I just manifest this? Did I make this happen with my detaching and my soul-searching journey? It was weird.

I don't know what I think about it now. I think it's cute. I don't know if I even believe it though.

But then when I searched the comments, twin flames, I found some really old comments saying— some people were saying Chihiro. They think Chihiro was my twin flame. I don't know about that. I definitely didn't have really intense feelings for Chihiro like I had for Mina. I had the most intense emotions and feelings for Mina that I had

never experienced before.

Being— when she dumped me the first time, it was like

soul-destroying. I felt like my, my whole self was being destroyed. They call it the ego death, like your ego— you got rejected so badly and it hurt you so much, your ego just died and you feel like this empty shell of yourself.

They explain it all in The Power of Now, how your ego

dies and then you kind of rebuild yourself.

I suppose it was a bit interesting. I did read all of Power of Now. Well, I listened to the audiobook.

She wouldn't believe me. She kept asking me, did you read— she actually asked me to read Power of Now. So I looked up the audiobook and I said to her, yeah, I did listen to the whole thing. But she kept doubting me, saying, did you really? Did you really read it?

I did.

What's the tarot channel called? I'm not sure if I should say. I don't want a bunch of weirdos going there spamming him.

He's a nice guy.

And it's a small channel, so,

you know, he would notice if he started getting weird comments.

There were a few channels. I watched this one guy, and then there were a few girls.

But yeah, it really helped me cope with it.

It was like giving me hope that this wasn't the end, that I'll see her again.

I guess I could tell you. It's called New World All-Star. He's got 34K subs.

Look up his video about— what was it called?

I forgot, it's like Dark Soul of the Night or something,

or was it Dark Moon?

Yeah, Dark Night of the Soul, Twin Flames. That one I watched it. And he was describing every emotion I was feeling. I felt like he was— I felt like I could relate to everything he was saying.

No, don't spam him.

She slapped me live. It wasn't a slap. She had her hand, her arm around my shoulders, and she was just like—

she called me a fake-ass bitch or something. She said, you know, the reason I like Daniel's channel is because he's so honest, but he's a fake-ass bitch. What do you mean I'm fake? The reason why she got upset was because I was so honest and I called— I said she was annoying.

If I wasn't so honest, then she wouldn't have got triggered.

Do I feel like the woman in the relationship? Yeah, sometimes I do,

because all the comments in his videos are women. They're all women,

all heartbroken women who got dumped, and they're all saying stuff like, oh, my man didn't text me today. Oh, I can't stop thinking about my man. It was— I bet the majority of his audience are female. I don't think guys react like that. I don't know, maybe they do, but they act all macho about it.

Do I regret meeting Mira? No, I think it's one of the best experiences of my life.

I definitely feel like having that experience made my life more fulfilling.

It's moments like that, experiences like that, that make life worth it, worth living. You don't want to live your whole life and not experience these things because you're scared, and then you just go through your whole life and nothing's happened. You're like 80, and then you're just looking back at your life and thinking, wow, nothing happened that

really had a big effect on me. That's just sad.

I think having these experiences

That's what life's for. Even if it ends, you know, it's gonna end and nothing lasts forever. Even if you get married and you live together 40 years and then she dies, it comes to an end.

It definitely was probably the most powerful experience I ever had.

Probably even more powerful than my dad dying. Yeah, I was definitely way more mentally,

emotionally affected by the whole Mila thing than my dad thing. I don't know, it was different with my dad because it wasn't like heartbreak.

But when my dad died, I cried a lot, but I definitely cried more over Mira.

It was a different kind of sadness, I think.

Heartbreak and then losing a family member is— it's not really the same.

I don't really— I don't really feel sad about my dad much these days. I have to really go into my memory banks and start digging up all the images and the memories to feel sad about my dad again.

But now it's mostly in the back of my mind. I do think of him sometimes. I still have dreams sometimes, but they're not really traumatic, sad, triggering dreams anymore. They're just kind of weird, random dreams.

But to be honest, I didn't really have a really, really strong, close, intimate connection with my dad. It was a bit cold.

Bit distant of— it was a bit of a distant relationship that we had.

I definitely think my sister was much closer to him,

but I still miss him.

Would I ever take commissions to make a video like you did for your father? No, I don't do commissions. I can't draw if someone's telling me to do it. Even if you're paying me, I can't. I feel too stressed out.

Your dad died in the worst possible way. No chance to say goodbye. Well, we did say goodbye.

I don't want to get into it. Yeah, I would get sad if I start— if I start reliving the whole hospital thing, I probably will start getting all depressed. I don't really want to talk about it.

Holy shit, that was depressing, the hospital stuff. Oh my God.

I couldn't say anything to him. Every time I stood next to him and he looked at me and I tried to say stuff, I would just break down, start crying. And then for some reason, when I started crying The nurses took me out of the room and then took me to like a, a waiting room. I don't

know why they did that. Maybe they didn't want me to be all crying in front of him.

Yeah, I don't want to start the whole father talk. It's too depressing.

The Mila talk is like sweet and romantic, I think.

And plus she's not dead, so she's still alive. She's over there in Rotterdam doing whatever. I don't know, she's probably doing drugs,

getting some weird tattoo again.

Do I still talk to her? No, I don't even know her Instagram anymore. Even if I wanted to message her, I couldn't because I blocked her and I deleted all the messages.

I don't know how to find it again. I wouldn't want to anyway. I wouldn't want to see her pictures. It would upset me.

It's best to just move on.

Why are you trying to look like some German dictator from the 1940s? This is not Hitler hairstyle. This is my special

Japanese hairstyle.

No, it's not inspired by Hitler.

What if I had a mustache? I get my face paints and I'll just paint a black mustache here.

Would I get back with Mina or Chihiro if I had the chance? I don't know if I'd get back with Mina, would I? I don't see how it could work. It would just be the same problem again.

I guess I would like it if she came here. And stayed at my house again and we just pretended none of the negative stuff happened. We just pretend we start from fresh. I don't know.

I think the same thing would just happen again. She would start getting annoying. I'd get stressed. I'd do a stream and then accidentally complain about her and then she'd get upset and then we'd start getting bored and then I wouldn't want to do anything she wants to do and then she'll start complaining. And then dump me again.

That's probably what would happen. People don't change, or they change and then they revert back to how they used to be after a while. I probably did change for her, and then I got comfy, and then I slipped back into my old ways, and that's probably why she got upset. She really wanted to change me. She got

me a book self-help book. She tried to change my morning routine.

She wanted me to stop looking at my phone in the morning. She wanted me to read a book with her in the morning for half an hour because she believed in all this kind of smartphone detoxing stuff.

I thought it's a load of rubbish.

I feel like Kimberly is

Ice Poseidon's Mira. Mira was my Kimberly, but I reject— I rejected her efforts to change me. I rebelled, and then she left me.

I'm not good at people trying to change me. I'm very stubborn. If people try and change me, I get angry and upset. I get offended that they think I need to change.

What do you mean I need to change? What's wrong with me?

I feel like a lot of the reason why Ice wants to rebrand is probably Kimberly encouraged him to, to do it, to change.

I think a lot of it, Kimberly's,

um, behind it.

I did try to change a little bit. I, I read those books and

I tried to make less toxic content.

Oh well.

It's the streaming. The streaming always messes stuff up because I start complaining and I start ranting. I wish people wouldn't watch my streams. I mean, I wish people in my life wouldn't watch them and then just understand that I'm just ranting because I'm frustrated.

It's just difficult because I want to talk about stuff that's on my mind. Otherwise, what am I supposed to talk about?

Talk about PlayStation. There, do you like my hairstyle? It makes the ladies wet.

Okay, I have to ban this Tron guy.

Getting annoying. I don't understand why some people, they come on the stream every time I stream, they're just there in the chat insulting me and they think I won't ban them after a while.

Are they stupid?

I guess they want to be banned.

Who else wants to be banned?

Just do it, say it now so I can save my time.

Why are people so desperate to get banned though? It's just weird.

I think a lot of your haters are happers. Yeah, all of them from the subreddit. They're all from the happer subreddit. It's the same people. It's the same people who found me back in 2017 when that guy shared my channel on the r/happer subreddit, and a bunch of them made my subreddit. It's all the same people from

like 4 years ago.

If I wasn't— if I was white or black, they would not care, trust me. They only care because I'm also half Asian, they're also half Asian. For some reason they've got this weird obsession with me.

I bet you anything if I was different ethnicity, they wouldn't care at all.

I don't really understand the whole hatred thing.

It's weird.

It's like, imagine if you're black and then you think all your life problems are because you're black, and then you find some black guy on YouTube, you start hating him even though he's also black and he also probably has the same problems you have. So why are you attacking your own people?

I always thought it was weird.

Am I still into Jill Valentine?

Are you referring to when I played Resident Evil 3 and I said she was really hot?

She has a YouTube channel, doesn't she? That actress, the model, the Russian girl who was modeled for Jill Valentine. I forgot her name.

She was pretty attractive.

If I had any luck on Tinder— I matched a few Japanese women. I exchanged contact details with

I'm chatting to a couple others quite often. It's so boring talking to them. One of them asked, have you lived in Japan before? So I said, yeah, I've done the working holiday visa. And then she asked me, what was the working holiday visa like? So now I have to respond to her. I can't be bothered. I have

to explain my life story over and over and over again. Just say, oh yeah, I worked as— I worked in a convenience store in Tokyo. It was okay, I guess.

It was an interesting experience.

They think you're giving them a bad name. Yeah, that's what I think.

But it still is weird.

It's a struggle to wrap your mind around it. So they hate me because

they think

that half-Asian people are gonna have a hard time in the world because of people like me giving them a bad reputation. People don't even think I'm half-Asian, they think I'm 100% Asian, don't they? People see me and they're like, oh look, that Asian guy Daniel.

But that logic is just so weird.

Why am I all of a sudden like this representative of all half-Asian people?

It's like saying PewDiePie is representative of all Swedish people. Swedish people must hate PewDiePie because he's making Swedish people look bad.

It's just such a dumb way of thinking.

Happas have an identity crisis and want to be more white, but you want to be more Asian. What? When have I ever said I want to be more Asian?

I have never said I want to look more Asian.

I think my life would have been easier if I was just white like everyone else. It would have eliminated some of my problems, not all of them.

It's not that I don't like looking Asian, it's just that

I feel like sometimes looking Asian probably hinders me more than it helps me.

But I'd rather just be a more attractive-looking version of myself instead of being a completely different

ethnicity.

I don't know, I'm trying to think of situations where looking Asian has helped me.

One annoying thing is if you're in Japan and you look Asian and you're hanging out with a bunch of foreigners who are not Asian, the Japanese staff will look straight at you to do all the talking because they'll— even if the white guy with you speaks better Japanese, the Japanese staff will, will look straight at me because

I look like a Japanese person. That's a bit stressful. Sometimes I wish I looked more obviously foreign when I'm in Japan. That way I don't have this pressure of

Having to speak Japanese.

I don't know, but it's hard to talk about.

When does looking like a certain race help you in life?

It shouldn't really make any difference. Ideally, we'd live in a, a world where you don't get judged based on what you look like, but we still do.

I had some Some foreigners who are not white get rejected English teaching jobs because they don't look like a native English speaker.

I think they also used to hate me a lot because I,

I would talk about going to Japan to find girlfriends and they were really against it.

I remember when George was, was talking about me and telling people to go and sub to me, they started attacking him as well, saying stuff like, why do you support a sex tourist? Are your books designed to help sex tourists go to Japan and have sex?

They seem really against race mixing. Would you have cereal with Streamlabs?

If Streamlabs was a woman, what would she look like? Would she be green? She would be white and then have green hair,

and then she would say funny stuff when I put money in her.

Besides money, what do you miss from YouTube streams? Just the money, I guess. And I guess having more viewers is nicer. I'd probably have 200 viewers if I was on YouTube,

maybe 250.

People are so bloody stubborn. They're like, I don't watch Twitch, I only watch YouTube. It takes like 2 seconds to make a Twitch account. You just enter your email and choose a password and a username.

I don't know why some people are so against going to a country to have sex. I still think it's fine.

Depends how you do it. If you're like on the street harassing women, then that's different. But I do it in a pretty— I think the way I do it is fine. I just go onto a dating site and I match people and I meet up for a date, and then if we like each other, we go to

a hotel. How's that creepy?

Sinister. I think it's okay.

Some people make it seem really shady

and horrible, like people like David Bond maybe, but I'm not like that.

I don't do pickup artist stuff on the street.

I don't know why they're lumping me in with all these sex tourists and pickup artists.

I had sex in England as well. It's not like I only had sex— it's not like I only go to other countries to have sex.

I also have sex in London.

I had sex in— what's that place? New Forest.

Does paying for sex make you feel dirty?

Um, not sure how it makes me feel. Makes me feel desperate.

Maybe a bit dirty,

but maybe that's what makes it hot. How do I chat up women on Tinder? I say, hey, how are you? How are you? Are you single? I'm looking for a girlfriend.

That actually works with some women.

And the women it doesn't work with are probably the women you don't want to meet anyway.

I don't like the pickup artist stuff. I think it's a bit cringy.

I wouldn't do it myself, but that's mainly because I'm too scared to do it.

But I also— I don't like to disturb people, so I go on dating apps to do it.

I feel like it's really inappropriate to just go up to a bunch of strangers unless it's like a nightclub or a bar, then maybe that's fine. But if you're like in a library or at the train station, then it's kind of weird.

What time

is it? Oh, 1:20.

Still a bit early.

Twin flame, dark night of the soul,

ego-destroying experience.

I wonder if I'll ever experience that again. I think I'm a bit scared to, actually. I think one of the reasons why I shut off my emotions to women after the Sayaka thing was because it was so emotionally traumatic that I, I kind of put up this defense mechanism to stop myself from falling in love, to prevent

myself from getting hurt. I'm a bit scared if that happens again. With Mina.

I don't think— I really don't want to do that again. Crying every night, being heartbroken, that was just miserable.

But you have to risk it, don't you? To find true love, you've got to risk it. If you don't, No risk, no gain is the phrase.

No pain, no gain. I thought it was no risk, no gain.

Ah, I'm a bit scared.

Usually I'm not worried because—

well, usually I don't have to worry because I don't usually attract attractive girls. Well, I usually don't manage to attract my type, the type of girl that I find attractive. So if I'm not attract— if I'm not attracted to them, then I probably won't develop strong feelings. So all you have to do is repel women and then

you'll be safe. Good thing I'm good at repelling women.

I don't know how I got Mira attracted to me.

They say personality is the most important thing, but I don't think I'm gonna develop these intense, strong emotional feelings over someone's personality. I would over their looks, because you look at them, you're like, wow,

that's what gets me excited and pumped. I don't think of someone's personality and go, wow, I feel so excited and pumped

over the personality.

It's more of a— it's a physical, chemical reaction.

If Maida was fat and ugly and had like a bald head, then I wouldn't feel anything for her. I'd be like, get out of my house, go away.

But she looks exactly how

I imagine my dream girl to look.

Slim, nice-looking, friendly face. Even her hairstyle, I really liked her hairstyle. The pigtails and the fringe, it's just cute.

Mina's face was really fat to me. Yeah, I guess she had like chubby cheeks, but I think I like that. I like the chubby cheek look, like the round face kind of look. I think that's why I like Asian girls, because a lot of Asian girls have that look. It's not really a common look for European girls.

My stomach hurts. I feel like I need to release air. Oh, but it hurts when I stand up.

I probably would date another Mila, if, if there was one.

She was just so cute.

Ah, when they're that cute, then you start to not care about the personality. You think, oh, it's not a big deal if she's not into sci-fi or if she likes tarot cards. That's fine.

I liked her teeth as well. Her teeth were very straight and pointy,

and they didn't look gross or anything.

Yeah, I find it very difficult to find women I'm actually attracted to.

And then it's even more difficult to get them to also be attracted to

me.

Hmm.

My stomach hurts. Maybe I need to go to the toilet.

Okay, I'll go to the toilet. Give me a second.

But girls don't really care if you really like how they look. They're not that excited when you say how much you love how they look. They want you to love their personality, don't they?

They don't really take it as a massive positive thing when all you do is say how much you felt attracted to them physically, because they know their looks are gonna fade. They want you to be into their personality, don't they?

I feel like you have to be careful. Complimenting a girl's looks too much because they think, oh, you're just objectifying me. You only like me because I look like how you want me to look. You don't care about my personality.

Okay, I'm gonna pay.

Oh,

oh, my stomach hurts.

I think it's just gas. It's not like a hernia or something serious.

Oh, my stomach feels bloated.

You need exercise. I do. I did 20 push-ups and I did my weightlifting and I played football outside.

Are you gonna stay on Twitch or go back to YouTube for streaming? I think I'll stay on Twitch.

Why don't I go to the gym? Gyms are closed and they cost money and it's far away and it's full of stupid people.

If something really interesting happened, I'd probably stream it on YouTube. Like sometimes, for example, when I got dumped by Mila and I did that stream. That kind of stream would probably be better on YouTube because it's interesting. But when I'm just sitting here talking because I'm bored, I think maybe Twitch is better.

Otherwise it would just be too much spam. It'd be like 30 livestreams on my channel just spamming it and then killing the algorithm even more.

Oh, this is weird. I can't dry my glasses

using a woolly jumper.

Yeah, I don't want my Hiding in My Room channel to just be every day these boring streams where I'm just talking about nothing. If it was an actual event, then I'd probably prefer to stream it on YouTube.

You get more donations on YouTube. Yeah, that's true. Remember when that girl donated $500? That was crazy.

She actually donated like $1,000, but I only got about $500 or $600. Yeah, I think she donated nearly $1,000, but then YouTube Super Chat takes about 40%. Would have been nice if she donated on Streamlabs,

but I get ad revenue on Twitch as well now. It used to be you had to be a partner on Twitch to get ad rev, but you, you don't have to be partner anymore. How much did I make from ad revenue?

I made $6. Wow,

40 hours of streaming and I made $6 from ads. Amazing.

I saw Ice Poseidon ranting about how Twitch is better than YouTube. He kept saying it's easier to grow on Twitch. I don't think so. I think it's really hard to grow on Twitch, whereas on YouTube you get the, um, you get search results. So if I make a stream about— if I just title it Bendine sucks, then

people would find it if they're looking for Bendine.

I don't know if it works like that on Twitch.

When's the next arc? I kind of miss having arcs, to be honest. I miss when stuff happened. I guess the last arc was the Pia stuff, but I didn't really talk about it much. I didn't make a video about it.

It just happened and then it was over, and people didn't even seem to care that much about it. They were just like, oh, did you sleep with Pia?

Does Pia hate you? Because I didn't make a video about it, I guess.

That all the people who get triggered all the time didn't even know about it.

Oh, my stomach hurts.

I need to go on another date with a viewer and then film it and then complain about how boring she was. She was not up to my standards.

She didn't want to touch my willy. I hate her. That's the kind of dumb stuff that gets views, isn't it? And then they call me the immature one. When I try and make normal content, they don't even watch it. Stupid audience on YouTube. I know who they are. There's like a whole bunch of them, like 20,000 of

those stupid people who don't watch my videos. Unless it's like, I went on a date and she dumped me.

I know they'll come back if I make more videos like that. They're just floating around there.

I bet they'll come back if I just had a title like, I got a new girlfriend. She sucks at sex. They'll come back, won't they?

Problem is, if I do stuff like that, it's just gonna reduce my chances with other girls because they'll see it and they'll think, oh my God, Daniel's gonna sleep with me and then call me annoying on his stream. I'm not gonna meet him now.

It's like people think me calling them annoying is the worst thing in the world. There's a lot worse I could say.

How I stole my fan's girlfriend and kicked her out.

That would be mean.

How old was I when I went to Japan? I was 20. 2010.

If you don't stream on YouTube, the channel will die even more. I don't know, only if I had drama. But if I started spamming out streams like Midnight Chat with Daniel, I'm bored and lonely, it'll just get 10k views.

Yeah, they shouldn't take it personally. I find everyone annoying. I don't think I've ever met anyone who didn't annoy me.

The only reason why I don't have reasons that they annoyed me was because I wasn't with them for long enough. I was only with them for a few hours. So I didn't have a chance

to find annoying things, but usually most people annoy me somehow.

Yeah, I think the only thing that will get people interested again would be a new girl.

I don't know what else. Unless I actually got a job, they might be interested in it, but I don't want to have to actually get a job.

Probably could get 20K views going to a different country. And maybe 30K if I went back to Japan. Then they'll just get bored again, won't they? They'll say, why aren't you going back to Chihiro? This is boring.

Not sure what I could do in London to get views. The only thing that gets views are the bloody dates. Turkish girl date got 80K.

The Japan stuff only got views because of Chihiro.

No one's gonna care about London. If I say moving to London, first day riding the London Ferris wheel, this is the Big Ben, no one would care.

They'll just say, go and fuck a prostitute and turn off the Belcher.

Essex Girl wouldn't want to be on camera.

She said if we ever met again, she doesn't want people to know.

Why don't people want me to film? What are they so scared of? And no one cares about being on Chris Broad's channel. They're not like, oh, Chris, don't film me, people gonna call me fat.

People so bloody scared.

Oh no, random people on the internet are going to criticize my clothing. And they're gonna call me fat. Boo-hoo.

Then you might call me annoying.

Bunch of scaredy cats.

I could pretend I got a job. Should we do some brainstorming for fake videos? Because let's face it, non-fake videos are not gonna work.

I could pretend I got a job in London as a design

Junior. Ah, I can't be bothered.

I have to make up a whole storyline. Like, I got a job in London, moving to London, what it's like being Asian in London, I met a London girl, going on date with my London girl,

moving my girlfriend into my London apartment.

But even when it was obviously fake, people were still watching it. The whole German stuff was so fake and they still kept clicking.

They don't care about non-fake stuff. That's why I haven't uploaded anything, because I just don't know what to upload. So I know they're not going to be interested. They didn't care about the last 2 videos I put up. Simon and Martina one,

crap views. Why I Hate School, crap views.

Don't know what to do.

I regret making the school one. Such a stupid idea. I don't know why I thought it would do well.

Note to self, my audience don't care about school stuff or education.

I don't think they would care about Japan topics either. Like Japan— why Japan's tourism economy is fading. I don't think they would click it.

The fake stuff is lame. Yeah, but it gets views. Even just doing a fake moving into my girlfriend's place got like 40k views, and it was so obviously fake. The people are so dumb.

No offense, but

most of my viewers on YouTube are really stupid. Like, I could pretend I'm moving into my girlfriend's house and then just enter the garage that's opposite my house, and they would believe it's actually my girlfriend's house. I could say tomorrow I got a new Swiss girlfriend and they'd think it's real.

They're so fucking stupid. Not you guys, you guys are the clever ones. I'm talking about like the bulk majority, the casual viewers.

I actually thought I went for therapy.

I still get people asking me how was therapy, as if I actually went for therapy with Dr. Glenys in Germany.

I hate the ones who ask if I'm Japanese. Yeah, I'm a Japanese guy who has a British accent who lives in England.

Konnichiwa. Are you Japanese?

Some people actually think I'm Japanese even though I've got an English accent. It doesn't sound like a Japanese accent at all. Maybe they think I just lived in England for a long

What triggers me is when I— they constantly complain about me making toxic content and then they only watch the toxic content. Obviously I'm gonna make more toxic content if that's all you're gonna watch. Idiots. Call me toxic? Fucking kiss you.

Kiss your whole family with my fat lips.

Hmm,

what kind of videos could I make? I don't know anymore. I don't really want to make anything, to be honest. I just want to stream and smoke my pipe.

To be honest, that would get same views as what I'm getting now. Even when I was in Rotterdam just cutting up beef and broccoli and whining for 6 hours, that got 10-15k views. Let me check.

What's the point of stressing over topics when they just get 10k views when I could just livestream and it gets the same?

Look, Evening Chat with Daniel, 12k. Sad and Lonely Night, 16k. She Dumped Me on Boxing Day, 31k. For a livestream. Last chance to say goodbye to Daniel. That's when I was pretending I was quitting. What's up YouTube? Only got 9K. Spending Thanksgiving alone, 14K. Pretty good. $7 steaks, 10K. Sad and lonely day, 12K.

Wow, I got 58K on this She Left livestream.

Sister livestream got 75,000.

It's not like livestreams can't do well for views. I don't really see the benefit of doing videos now if the videos get less views or the same views and livestreams get donations on top. Plus they're easier.

It's because my channel only grew from my videos going viral. I don't think a livestream would go viral. But then Ice Poseidon's livestream went viral. His MrBeast one has half a million views, and his WallStreetBets streams got like 200K views. So maybe livestreams can go viral. So then what's the problem? I don't know.

I think I still see myself as more of a video creator than a streamer,

but I don't know what to stream now.

Interview with my mom would do really well, I think.

But I don't want to involve my family.

Interview with my cat.

Make similar videos to the one that went viral. I did. I made Why I Still Have No Friends, and I made Why I Hate Japan Part 2.

I need someone to do stuff with. Just me on my own, it's not...

appealing enough.

I liked when Mila first came and we were making fish in the garden. That was fun. Fun, easy to make, and it got good views.

I wanted to get a tent and then try sleeping in the tent overnight and stream it. I don't know if people would care about that.

Sleeping in my garden, it would get views if I put something like my mum kicked me out the house, but then she won't let me because she doesn't want people to think she's a bad mother, even if it is fake. She'll say, no, don't make me look bad.

I need to get kicked out or something dramatic.

That doesn't make other people look bad, it just makes me look bad. I don't care if people think I look bad,

as long as my hair looks fabulous.

I can feel gas coming out. I might have to mute.

Okay, I have released some gas.

Oh, I feel like pressure has been relieved from my stomach.

I'm surprised the getting beaten up video didn't do better. I thought people wanted me to get beaten up.

Seems like getting kicked out and dumped is the best ones. They are the best ones. I need to get dumped again

or rejected.

Talk about Rotterdam landlord. I don't know,

I feel like I should just let that go.

And then I'm worried that I'll get in trouble for harassment or doxxing or whatever. I so want to just put their picture on the thumbnail and say stupid scamming scum. Wait, I need to mute.

I don't know why I'm so gassy. I think it's this ham I'm eating. I'm eating this ham for lunch and it's expired from Expired about a week ago, but the package was closed, so it smells fine. But I don't know if it's making me gassy.

Crazy how they blatantly scammed you like that. I know, I can't believe people can be so scummy. I paid them the whole rent for January and wasn't even there, plus 2 months rent for deposit, and they didn't even give me back a penny. And they ghosted me.

Just shows when there's no— when they feel like they can get away with it, people, people just do what they want.

People only behave because they're scared of the law, but when they feel like the law isn't going to come after them They'll do what they think they can get away with.

Did I really trash the place? I didn't trash it.

I even tidied up a bit before I left. I hoovered and I put stuff in bin bags. I put all the rubbish out by the door. It's just the oven was a bit messy, so I didn't have time to clean the oven.

And then the shower room smelled because I left my used towels lying there in the basket. So obviously after a while the used towels are gonna start smelling and then the smell is gonna spread out. It's not like there was sewage smell from my toilet, it's just unwashed towels. I think they were just making a big fuss

over nothing.

And then they were saying the sofa bed wasn't folding back in properly or smoothly. I folded it back in and it felt fine. It seemed fine to me. But then they also said I broke the sink drawer, which I may have because it was leaking. So I took the drawer out to fiddle with the pipe to stop

it from— no, the sink was getting blocked, and it's because the pipe was in a weird angle. So I fiddled with the pipe, and I tried putting the drawer back on, but it didn't go back in snugly. It was like a little bit crooked, and I just left it like that. But it wasn't broken. You just have

to take it out and put it back on. Straight idiots.

They said, they said the oven was all burned. You can't burn an oven. That's the whole point of the oven. You cook stuff in it.

People do slow roasts in ovens for like 6 hours. And it doesn't burn the inside of the oven. The oven is designed for high temperatures. You can't burn the inside. It was just— it was just— I don't know what it was. Maybe when I cooked a pizza and I overcooked it a bit and there was some black

soot from the pizza. It's not the inside of the oven burning. So stupid.

It's just probably food that was burned. You just scrape it off. It's not the actual oven being damaged.

And they didn't even give me an explanation. She just said, it's out of my hands,

the owner is gonna contact you to handle it. But he never did.

So that place ended up costing me £2,000. Yeah, about £2,000 a month because I didn't get the deposit back. Might as well lived in a hotel at that price. I could have just lived in a hotel.

I think they don't even have the money, to be honest. I think they spent the money. They couldn't even give it back to me

because they don't have it.

When am I planning going to London?

Apparently hospitality reopens end of May, so I have to wait until end of May. But I think I heard on the news they changed it. When does hospitality open?

No, hotels.

I can't find it. Why can't they just put it in the first sentence? I don't want to read a whole essay. About the coronavirus.

Last time I checked, it said 17th of May, but then I thought I heard on news they were reopening earlier.

Reopen UK. Oh, it says 17th of May at the earliest.

Why are they waiting so long? Why do they think the virus is gonna spread if people start going to hotels?

I guess they're waiting for more people to get vaccinated before they start letting people travel,

but I would only really want to go to London if I feel stressed out at home. If, if I feel relaxed at home and people get off my back,

then I wouldn't really feel that pressured to go to London unless there's a girl who really wants to meet up. Well, there is a girl who said she would meet up. I guess I could meet her. Why not?

Try and vlog it. I really should get back into don't give a shit mode again and just vlog stuff even if they're gonna cry about it later.

The Turkish girl thing was pretty good.

If I stay at home, yeah, I could save money, but what's the point having money if you never use it? Stay at home, play Rainbow Six.

I could do a month in London, get a nice hotel by the river, River Thames hotel view.

See if some girls want to meet up.

You never know who will contact you if you move. For example, Mila only contacted me because I went to Korea. She wasn't even watching my videos for like 2 years. She messaged me in 2018 first time. And then I think she stopped watching for a couple years, and she said she only found my channel again because I

went to Korea, and then she probably had Korea stuff on her recommendations. So if I moved to London, I bet that a couple people would message me saying, oh, you're in London? I haven't watched your channel in 2 years. How are you doing?

It's a bit of a risk. It's not— it's a bit of a gamble. It's not guaranteed, but you never know what it could initiate. If I never went to Korea, I don't think I would have met Mila because she wouldn't have come back to my channel.

You got to set the trap and then put the bait to get the bear to come out of the woods.

You never know who might message you.

I could randomly go to Barcelona and then maybe a girl who lives in Barcelona would find— would get my video recommended to her, and then she'll be like, oh, I used to watch you 4 years ago.

I might have some viewers in London who would meet up.

What happens if I keep blowing like this?

It doesn't seem like it's good for it, like it's gonna blow up.

Confronting the Spanish guy who stole my French girlfriend 10 years ago. Did I tell you the time a Spanish guy stole my French girlfriend? It was in 2011. I had that fat French Thai girlfriend in the guest house, and then she kept messaging this Spanish guy who also lived there. And she kept going to his room, and

I would ask her, what were you doing in his room? And she would say, oh, we're just chatting. And I said, oh, I didn't even know you were that friendly with him.

And then he would send— I forgot what the story was. I think he was learning French, and then he was sending messages to her, and then I used Google Translate to translate his messages. So I sneaked into her room when she was in the toilet and I looked at her Facebook. I forgot what it was about, it

was just like boring stuff.

And one time I got really angry because we were supposed to be going out and I couldn't find her. She said she was getting ready and she wasn't in her room, so I thought, oh, Oh, I wonder where she is. And I looked for the Spanish guy's room and I found it and I knocked on the door

and she was in there.

I don't think they were doing anything. But then later when I was with the chlamydia girlfriend, she was also in the same guest house, she was friends with the French girlfriend. She said, I'm sorry to tell you this, Daniel, but back when you were with the French girl, she had like a thing with the Spanish guy.

I knew it.

And then— ugh, this smells like smoke. I think blowing into it does break it. And then later I looked at her Facebook and I looked at photos, and there were photos of them like hugging. Like, they looked really intimate. I bet they hooked up as soon as I left. Bloody Spanish guy.

And the Spanish guy was like constantly bringing back Japanese women to the guest house,

messing around.

Track him down in Spain. Kick his ass.

Do I have a photo working at the convenience store? I do. I made a video about it, but it didn't get many views. It only has 20k views. It's called Why I Hated Working in Japan, and the thumbnail is me wearing the Lawson blue striped uniform. I'm surprised that didn't go viral. Lots of people go viral when

they make videos about working in Japan, like Why Working in Japanese McDonald's Was a Nightmare.

Maybe I'll redo it.

Why Working in Japanese Convenience Store Was a Nightmare. They wouldn't let me have free Starbucks.

Telling me to go to bed. My phone's saying it's bedtime.

Why does my vape smell like smoke?

Oh, there's no liquid in it. That's why.

No liquid, smoking nothing. But how come when there's no liquid in there you can still blow out vape? Where's it coming from? What if I just spit in it? That's liquid.

Did I like Japanese store or petrol station better. I like the petrol station job much better because I didn't have to speak Japanese, and I quite liked the variety of jobs at the petrol station. It wasn't just standing behind the till. I was standing behind the till 90% of the time at Lawson, and then some of the

time I would deep fry some frozen food. But the petrol station had lots of different things to do, which made time go faster. So I'd go in, I would check how many doughnuts were left and how many pies were left that I needed to bake, and then I would tidy up the coffee area, and then I would

do sweeping, and then I would take out the frozen doughnuts and pastries from the walk-in freezer to defrost, and

Then I'd go to the till, stand around for about an hour, and then I would sweep the floor. And then after a couple hours, I would start doing the cooking. I had to take out the pies and pastries and put it into the oven, bake them, and then I had to package them and label them. Labeling them

was a pain. You had a label machine and you had to remember the codes for the different labels. And I memorized all of them. And then you had to print out the labels, put on the packaging, and then put the pies and stuff in the cabinet.

And then do all the washing, wash the oven and stuff. And then check the expiry dates on food in the shop. There were a lot of things you had to do. It was quite stressful in the beginning because it felt overwhelming. It felt like you had loads of stuff to do and you felt like you didn't have

a lot of time to do it. But then you practiced, you started getting quicker,

and then sometimes you had to do it all by yourself if the other person

took a holiday.

It was quite fun actually, trying to get it all done all by yourself and serve customers and keep an eye on the shop and

let people take petrol for the car.

I quite enjoyed the work, to be honest. It was just the coworker that I really hated, and some of the customers were scary. What was that?

Yeah, some of the customers were scary, especially the Irish people. They would come in drunk and start shouting at you, or they would demand to use the toilet when it was just a staff toilet. You say, sorry, it's staff only. They would start getting angry and threatening you. They'd be like, you know it's against the law to

deny a pregnant woman the toilet,

so you just had to let them win and use— let them use it. You can't win against the Irish Travellers. They will argue you into the ground. They will not take no as an answer.

You're not— you're not going to win.

And the kids are even worse, the Irish Traveller kids. They come in, they start stealing stuff.

It's like they're trained how to do all that thievery from a young age.

Now, one time a big gang of them, maybe 7 or 8 of the travelers, came all drunk. They had glasses of beer that they stole from the pub they came from. They just took all the glasses from the pub and carried on drinking, just drove off. The police came. We had to show them CCTV footage because they

were drunk driving.

They started fighting in the petrol station shop.

Do your parents know how famous you are? I don't think my mum understands that 100,000 subs is quite a lot.

She said that her friend found my channel and the friend understood how much 100,000 is and told my mum that it's quite a lot. My mum sometimes says, does YouTube still give you money? So I don't think she has

a grasp on how big of a number 100,000 is.

It's a pretty large amount of people. It's not like 10K or 5K or 1K.

I mean, you could say my channel's dead now, but still gets like 10-20k views. Some people struggle to even get 500 views, you know.

And then you take in the fact that my content's kind of shit and rubbish, I think 10-20k is pretty good still.

Some of my videos is just a black screen and me talking. It's not like it's good quality or anything. There's vloggers, vlogging channels out there who've got like DSLRs, pro editing, and they've got pro editing software and they only get like 800 views, 5K subs.

That's what annoys me a bit, like some people have no

Appreciation for my achievement.

No acknowledgement for my accomplishments.

At one point, I was even earning more money than my dad was.

But they don't take it seriously. So I bet my uncles, my aunties have no idea.

They're like, why doesn't Daniel get a job? It's so unfair that he's just sponging off his mum

when I'm making probably more money than they make just from making silly videos. Well, how come Daniel has money to travel when he doesn't work. He's just making silly videos on the internet.

I bet his mum's giving him money. Like, they're so clueless.

That's what pisses me off.

They probably think, oh, you have to get a proper job first. You need to go to school and then join a company and Fuck your company.

Now I bet there's huge YouTubers out there who have relatives who are completely clueless. Like, they're all like iDubbbz. I bet iDubbbz has like annoying boomer aunties and uncles who are like, why is Ian a millionaire? How come he lives in a mansion? He's got 5 cars. He just makes shitty videos on the internet. I don't understand

idiots with their real jobs.

I make more money on OnlyFans than most people do with their real jobs.

And they look down on me. They think I'm just sitting around doing nothing, playing video games in my bedroom. That's what pisses me off. They don't acknowledge how difficult it is to do and build. If it's so easy, you do it then.

Idiots look down on me. I look down on them. I spit on them like that.

They don't even know what I do.

Yeah, we'll see who's laughing.

Not naming any names, but one day, when they're dead,

then I'll have nothing to hold me back.

You think I'm roasting them now? This is only 10% of my power. You wait until I get to level 5.

This is only level— level 8. It's not even level 8, it's like level 10. Level 1 would be the highest level. You wait until I roast them at level 4 and level 3.

I'm gonna destroy all of them. But by then I'll probably be 60 or 50 and no one would care anymore.

Some idiot I knew from school messaged me once— or did I message them? Asked me what I was doing, I said YouTube, and he was like, oh yeah, does that pay good?

Does YouTube pay good? You know, there's multi-millionaires that do YouTube and they make millions.

Does YouTube pay good? It pays better than your shit job, idiot.

My channel, when I was getting 40K views a video, probably paid better than most senior positions and managerial jobs.

And that's just like a tiny 100K sub channel. Imagine how much money

people like KSI or What's-his-face Jacksepticeye are making. They're making millions.

And then you've got all the people in between, like 200k, 400k, 500k sub channels.

They're making way more than restaurant manager or even doctor or nurse.

And then the people with real jobs, they're like, oh, they just make silly videos on the internet.

Some people just don't get it.

They're usually old people.

I hate the old people mindset, the old-fashioned way of thinking where it used to be like, get an education and then you join a company and then you work in the company your whole life.

It's so lame.

And then the company doesn't even give a crap about you. They just replace you.

Who's Myra? It's the second person who said rest in peace now. Someone else said they died. Who is this Myra person?

Who else died recently?

Wow, imagine if Canada Jin died. That would be shocking.

Myra died.

I don't see anything on Google.

Someone clipped that stream when I, I got triggered. It's pretty funny when I told that Max guy to fuck off. Fuck off.

Let me find it.

Oh, where is it?

Oh, why is it gone?

Oh, here it is. Why should they get that? Why don't you fuck off?

Why don't you fuck off?

Why don't you fuck off, idiot?

Idiot. That's what I just said.

Fuck off.

Why don't you fuck off?

Autistic rage. I sound so stupid when I swear.

Fuck off. I wish I sounded more— I wish I sounded cooler when I swore.

Go back with and forwards inside of the perimeter.

Sometimes, some days I just get triggered really easily because I'm in a bad mood.

What triggers me most?

Usually the job stuff triggers me a lot.

Are the fleas gone? Yeah, I think my sister did something. I haven't had fleas in ages.

I'm wondering if I should clip that stream and put it onto my channel. I'm a bit embarrassed because I look, I look angry, but I sound really dumb.

I said, why should people buy PewDiePie's merch when he's a millionaire?

I could title it Daniel Gets Triggered on Stream.

I've got nothing to clip recently onto— into highlights. I haven't talked about anything that I want to put into a video.

I talked about Mila a lot today.

It's not Nemo, it's Mimo with an M.

I want a drink.

Am I afraid to go bald? I don't think I will.

Probably go grey before I go bald.

My hair's pretty much the same. It's not really thinning.

I guess I'm lucky when it comes to hair. I don't want to go bald.

Look, I'm touching myself and you can't see.

I can touch myself and stream. There's one woman who was messaging me when I was in Korea. She was like this middle-aged American MILF. She actually said that she would be willing to come to Korea to stay at my Airbnb with me, and then she said we could do fun things like she would suck me off whilst

I stream. Under the table. So I'd be sitting down, she could be sucking me off. I nearly said, yeah, okay, come, but then I changed my mind. That would be hot. Imagine I was streaming and then there's like a MILF sucking me and I'd be like, hey guys, ah yeah, I'm totally not getting a BJ right now.

Has she stopped messaging me now? I don't know. I changed my mind because I was getting stressed out and the Turkish girl thing was giving me nightmares. I didn't want to get into another situation where I was stuck in a hotel or Airbnb with a woman that I didn't like or find attractive.

With the Turkish girl, I just wanted her to leave. After we had sex, I just didn't really want to be with her.

But if someone flies all the way to the country you're in to stay with you, I feel like I have to let them stay. I can't just say, okay, bye, thanks for coming, you can go now. I'm not that much of a dickhead.

There was also this Russian girl who was willing to come to Korea to stay with me. But I said to her, I don't know if it's a good idea because what if— it would be awkward if we didn't like each other and then you're stuck here. And I wouldn't have the guts to tell you to leave. I'd

feel too bad.

She got upset because I wasn't showing interest in her personality. Some girls, they want you to ask them questions. I mean, some of them just ask you to ask them questions. They say, so what do you want to know about me? And then I'm like, um,

I don't know.

Nothing really. When can we have sex? That's what I want to know. What do they want me to want to know about them? Like, what's your favorite color? What's your favorite pot noodle flavor?

All I need to know is, do you want to meet? Do you want to have sex? Yes or no?

Pretend you're interested. I try, but it's hard to keep the charade up.

Why is your cat called Mimo? I don't know, my mum named her Mimo.

Mimo, it's quite a nice name. It's easy to call. Cat names need 2 syllables so you can call them. If it's one syllable like Bob, you'll be like, Bob. You need 2.

I thought the name Mina chose for her kitten was really ugly. Mowgli. It sounds like ugly. I don't know why she called it Mowgli. Mowgli is that skinny, ugly, annoying from Jungle Book.

Call it Bagheera. You could call it Baggy for short.

Bagheera. What was the tiger called in Jungle Book? Wasn't it Khan? Khan.

Apex predator. Baloo could beat up Khan. Who would win in a fight, a bear or a tiger? I feel like the bear could win.

I missed my fireplace. I might get the fireplace back up next time. Fireplace background.

Can I ask a serious question? Maybe,

maybe.

I'm bored. I might go to bed.

Ice still hasn't streamed. Where'd he go? You mean he's gonna go all the way to New York and he's not even gonna stream?

He's probably back in Texas now, isn't he? I bet he's left New York. I bet his next stream he's gonna be back in Austin. Come on, man. Just get a new hotel.

That's why the fans are getting fed up with him.

We want the New York stream.

Andy streamed Why can't he just,

I don't know, get, get a hotel with a view or balcony and then stream up there?

Apparently they got kicked out the hotel for screaming.

I can imagine that.

I find it a bit strange when they say stuff like Oh, we, we're gonna make— we could have made $5K from the sleep stream. Really? I find it hard to believe Ice still makes $5K in donations from a sleep stream.

Does he really make that much?

Maybe back when he had 20K viewers in the streams he might have. I don't think he does now.

See how much you'll get. You only get donations from the sleep stream if you have like a big speaker. That would wake me up. I don't really want to be woken up.

I feel like nothing would happen.

I just want to go to sleep. I don't really want to get woken up.

I think Ice is scared to stream outside now because of sniping. You notice all his streams recently have been either at his home or in a car that's moving. Or in a hotel room. He's like me now. He's hiding in his rooms to stream when he used to roam around on the streets all by himself and he

would go to the hood.

He's basically me now,

hiding.

I wouldn't stream outside now.

There's too many weirdos.

If I streamed in Japan again outside, what if the Hong Kong guy shows up and beats me up or something?

The Hong Kong guy wanted to meet me after we fell out. He was like, can we just meet up now? Do you think he wanted to fight. I said no, I don't want to meet you. Fuck off. I think he wanted to hit me.

I bet the Hong Kong guy is pretty strong. He has like that— what's that disorder?

Like, that's the one, that Down syndrome strength. Freakishly strong, like Monica Geller. He probably has like that Down syndrome autistic strength.

He lifted the sex doll box all by himself. It's pretty heavy. It was like 50 kg. Maybe not, I don't know. I think it was about 40 kg, but including the box and everything, it must have been about 45 kg. I couldn't lift it. I could barely get it off the ground, but he just lifted it up

like it was nothing.

He could just easily pick me up and then slam me down on the ground. I weigh nothing. Anyone could pick me up.

Even Mila could pick me up.

I'm lucky no one sniped me when I used to stream outside in Japan. I guess I wasn't big enough back then. I only had about 5K subs.

Have I worked out today? I did some weightlifting, but not as much as I usually do because I'm aching here now. I think I need a rest, let the muscle heal.

I did some push-ups. It's weird because I haven't done any push-ups in ages, but I can do 20.

I think that's because I've been doing the lifting. I guess lifting like this also builds muscles that helps you do push-ups, but there's still some push-up muscles that aren't used when I lift, so I must have used those muscles and that's why it's aching. It's like my chest muscle doesn't really get used when I lift.

I took a nude pic from behind and my back looks quite good. My back looks toned. Maybe it's because of the way I lift. I'm, I'm using my back when I'm lifting. People say that's bad, but what if it's working my back out? Or maybe I'm just really strong. I don't know, but I took the selfie like

this from behind and you can see like all the back muscle. I look sexy. I want to put it on OnlyFans, but I'm a bit worried my mum will get angry.

You can see my butt and you can see my balls hanging.

My legs look quite toned as well. It must be all the football. But it actually looks like I've got thigh muscles. I think my shape looks quite nice recently. I've also put on a bit of— I think it's like a little bit of belly waist fat,

but it makes me look like I've got curves like a woman. I would so fuck myself.

Yeah, a bit of love handle thing.

But it looks like I've got a bit of a figure instead of just like straight plank.

Maybe I'll put it on OnlyFans when I leave.

Oh, it smells like smoke when there's no liquid in it. It's just like smoking, smells like smoke.

Maybe I'll put some liquid.

I've got blueberry and strawberry. I wonder what blueberry smells like.

I'll probably do a YouTube stream on the 22nd, like a fuck you Tim YouTube celebration, back on YouTube celebration stream, and then maybe back to Twitch.

I don't really know what blueberry smells like. Smells like shampoo.

What you gonna do tomorrow?

I might stream again actually and do the face paints. I didn't do the face paint, but I got these

body paint. I have to get in the right mood to do it. If I feel depressed again, I'm not sure if I could do it. At night when the lighting's like this.

I might have to fiddle with my lighting. I'm in a better mood now. I was pretty miserable at the beginning of the stream.

Maybe if I change the temperature so

it's like this.

It's a bit too bright.

It just looks a bit greenish now.

I don't know why my webcam goes green.

Oh wait, what? You can close this hole.

I

can't unscrew it.

What? Why is it stuck?

Do I have family in Malaysia?

Yes, got loads of family, cuz one of them married a Muslim and they breed like rabbits. She had like 9 kids and then 9 kids had like 5 kids each.

I can't get it off.

I twisted it too much and now it's

Oh, fucking hell. Why can't they make it easier to refit it?

I want my blueberry.

I just don't know what I did.

I can't unscrew the coil section.

Look, this bit's supposed to come off.

Oh, I bit the metal bit.

I can't get it off now.

Stupid thing.

I can't grip it. Look, this bit's supposed to screw off.

Maybe I need some tissue.

Huh.

2:55.

I'm gonna break it. I'm not sure which way you're supposed to twist it. I might be twisting it the wrong way, making it tighter.

You must be happy shops are open. Don't really care. My mum's happy, she went shopping. So yeah, I guess I am happy because it means she's not at home all day.

I think I've broken it.

Maybe if I get the house to myself, I can do like a silly cooking video again.

I can't open it.

This vape is not good. It's just full of problems.

Maybe it screws the other way.

Right to close, left to open.