things keep getting worse and worse...

Whoops, forgot to change the

mic.

Uh, testing.

I can't drink my coffee.

I'm trying black coffee today.

I can't bend my laptop camera down enough.

I want the camera here, you know, the

laptop camera.

I want it to be able to pivot, but you

can't do that.

It's been 10 years since I had black

coffee because I can't be bothered to go

and buy milk.

I'm not going out spending £5 on

electricity to just buy one bottle of

milk.

That's stupid.

Can I elaborate on the blood bucket thing?

Uh, I thought I explained it.

Oh, I guess you watched the video, you

didn't watch stream yesterday.

Um, basically I just text her When I was

in bed, I said, do you want to do it?

And she said, okay.

She came down, we did it.

She made a tweet.

She wrote a tweet today in Japanese.

I don't know why.

I don't know who she's tweeting to.

Basically just said that it was true and

it's not really a big deal.

I mean, if it was addressed to the

viewers, you'd think she'd write in

English or, I don't know, in the comments

of the video.

But she wrote it on her Twitter.

I forgot what her Twitter is.

She does that thing like Tomoko does where

she just like writes loads of stuff on

Twitter every day.

Seems like that's a Japanese thing to do.

You know, just like spamming out stuff on

Twitter like a diary.

They seem to do that.

Holy crap.

I don't know if I should take this £10 or

not.

I'm up £10.

Should I take it?

I might take one.

I might take £5 off.

Oh, it's still going.

I'm up, I'm up £12 now.

Oh,

I didn't think the tanking would start

this quickly.

Japanese people love Twitter for some

reason.

Twitter's boring for me.

I don't give a damn about writing stuff on

Twitter.

Who cares?

I mean, you can make money if you've got

enough impressions, so I guess I can't say

you don't even make any money.

But you need to— I don't know, I mean, it

is kind of cool, I guess, in a way, if you

can build a Twitter audience, because you

don't have to make videos, you just write

stuff.

It's like being a writer, isn't it?

One of my shorts gonna reach my take

profit area.

How low is it gonna go?

I'm up £14.

Wow, look at this.

I'm up £15.

Oh my God.

It just fucking tanked.

Uh, I took it, I took it.

Holy shit, it just went like that, took my

take profit, and I manually exited the

other one.

Jesus.

Let me just mark it to see if that's

actually where the bottom is.

And I'm scared if it drops that quickly,

it usually bounces back up pretty quickly

too.

I think I made like, I don't know, hold

on.

Whoa,

£18!

I just made £18!

Holy crap.

God.

Damn, I'm a genius.

Oh

God, getting those shorts was the right

thing.

I wonder if it keeps going.

Jesus, today was great.

I mean, it started off really good.

I made like £15 and then idiot traveling

trader comes on and he's like, Oh, I'm

going long gold, and then he gets stopped

out, and I copied him, so I got stopped

out too.

And then I went long gold again, and then

I got stopped out.

I lost like £15 copying Traveling Trader.

I just made back £19 doing my own trade.

See, I don't need him.

Oh, it's still tanking.

I shouldn't have sold it.

It's okay, I still got my SPY short.

Jesus, I'm currently £158.

I could have made £22 if I didn't sell.

Oh, thank God though.

I was so pissed that I, I took 2 of his

trades and they both lost.

It's weird, it's like I make more money

doing my own trades.

Well,

I still got my, um, SPY short, still down

£13.

Hmm, black coffee, not bad.

Maybe I need to stop buying milk.

I was scared to drink black coffee for

some reason.

I thought it was like drinking an ashtray.

It's not bad actually.

I used to drink black coffee and I stopped

drinking black coffee when I got married

because Chihiro kept buying milk.

Yeah, okay,

maybe I don't bother getting more milk.

I can't believe I just made £19

shorting NASDAQ.

So I think

total I made £10 if you add in the losses,

because I think I made— I think I made

£25, but then I lost about £15.

Oh well.

God, it's still tanking.

Oh, I shouldn't have sold it.

I could have made another £5.

£19, pretty good though.

Get a creamer.

I think someone sent me one.

I'm not sure though if it's creamer or

not.

Someone sent me Japanese Kit Kats in a

plastic bag.

Not sure who that was.

I guess it's safe.

I think I know who they're from.

Jeebus.

Oh my God, I shouldn't have.

Oh well,

that's the problem because you spend so

much time getting wrecked and then as soon

as you get profits you're like, oh my God,

get out, I gotta take the profit.

Okay, who's always— who's number one

today?

Hanataro.

I got distracted by the market tanking.

My, my trading account's at £160.

I'm up 60% since I added the £100.

Why is it tanking though?

I don't even know.

Did Trump say something?

I gotta get a screenshot of my gains.

Hold on.

Oh yeah.

£17.

Oh, the 2 people— well, the people who I

suspected sent me the KitKat just said

they didn't send it.

Bit strange.

It's just like the small KitKats, but it's

got all the Japanese flavors.

And it's been sent from within the UK

because it had UK post stamps on it and

the return address is like a UK postcode.

So I don't know who that was then.

Do you think— imagine if like Chihiro

secretly came to the UK for a trip and

then she just sent it in the post to me.

I thought maybe it was my mum, but nope.

I thought maybe my mum sent me some

treats.

Do you reckon it's done tanking?

Looks like it might bounce here.

If it bounces there, that means I missed

out on 0.40%,

which would be 20x.

What's that?

Means I missed out on 8%.

Which would be like,

I don't know, probably maybe like £8.

Damn it.

Is it another bank holiday weekend next

week?

I hope not.

Yeah, I'm getting annoyed with the

traveling trader.

He made me lose £15 today.

I haven't done any of his trades and I

made like £35 today doing my own trades.

So I don't know why I'm paying £75 a

month.

I'm not gonna pay next month.

I think I'm just gonna cancel it.

My next, uh, renewal is the 9th of June.

What was that?

All these damn flies in here now.

Oh, I didn't bring my laundry in.

Petition for tomorrow's stream to be

called Grateful for the Birds, Bees, and

My Health.

Yeah, and it will have no viewers.

And then I'll get mad.

My life is so amazing and everything's

great.

Thanks, guys.

50 viewers.

Who's even going to care if my life is

going well?

They'll be like, oh, wow, great, Daniel.

See ya.

If I got a big problem, like I'm in

trouble with the police or an ex or this

or that, everyone's so interested.

But when my life's going well, like I made

some money, no one cares.

That's what I've learned over doing, doing

YouTube for 8 years, 8 to 10 years, that

positivity doesn't work for me at least.

For me, it's never worked.

I don't know why.

I think I'm just a natural-born

complainer.

I hate the new, uh, add mid-roll system

for YouTube.

Before, you used to be able to like press

add, add, add mid-roll, add mid-roll, add

mid-roll.

You can just spam it and have like 100

mid-rolls in a video.

Now

When you put a mid-roll, it can go red,

which means it's not been approved.

So now you've got to like strategically

place the mid-rolls and hope it goes

white.

And then if it goes red, you have to like

fiddle and move it around.

Now I'm like sitting there for, I don't

know, 10 minutes fiddling with the stupid

mid-rolls trying to get, get them to go

white.

They go red, it means I don't get the

mid-roll there.

I don't know why they've done this.

Really annoying.

Yeah, I think,

um, yeah, bouncing now, but it did drop a

bit more from where I sold.

I couldn't believe it dropped that much.

When it drops, it drops.

It's like watching— the reason why I

started the stream now is because I was so

bored just staring at it, and then it just

suddenly tanked.

Whoo.

You want Daniel to get the PewDiePie

ending?

Yeah, I wish.

Find a woman who doesn't leave me, can

have my kid, and then somehow we make

money.

By not working.

That's the dream.

Maybe just go live on OnlyFans and I like

tie Crypt up to the bed and then just like

stream all day

focused on Crypt tied up to the bed and I

come in occasionally to eff her.

How about that for content?

She likes, um, bondage, so she might agree

to it, but all day is a bit much.

She might need to poo.

Yeah, so did Trump say something or what?

Why is it tanking?

Oh, he— there was like a tweet.

US plans wider China tech sanctions.

Was that— that must have been it.

These headlines are really doing my shorts

well.

Good for my shorts.

Yeah, I think I'm done for the day.

I'm just going to leave my SPY short open

because I've had that— I entered that way

too low.

I don't want to close it at a £15 loss.

It's okay, it's only a small portion

anyway.

Oh, back to the comments.

Um,

Aren't I infertile?

I guess we're gonna find out.

Crypt said she's not gonna take birth

control, and apparently she's very

breedable.

Although I do have another girl lined up,

but she's waiting for Crypt out of

respect.

Also, Kale wants to apologize, but I'm not

sure what to do.

He said he'll pay me $20 to have a talk,

and he said he's really sorry and he

messed up.

Hmm.

Maybe I unban him for starters.

I actually didn't mean to ban him.

I meant to just give him a timeout for

like one day and I pressed the wrong

button.

I pressed the ban button by accident.

Oh wow, thanks, Manu.

Crypt said she wanted to go number one on

your sofa and floor.

What?

Pee?

She wants to pee on my sofa?

Uh, please no.

Please not.

Wait a minute,

Kale is not even on my ban list.

Did I ban him before I unbanned everyone?

He's probably not banned, to be honest.

The shape of the market.

Line looks like a big middle finger.

Have you seen it?

Look at the SPY.

It literally looks like a middle finger

like that.

Go on the SPY or NASDAQ and go to the

4-hour chart.

It literally looks like a big fat middle

finger.

That's so funny.

Do you think they did it on purpose?

Oh, the bottom of the coffee is really

bitter.

Add some water.

I'll show it later when I change my

camera.

Oh, now it's really cold.

Oh, I don't know how people drink iced

coffee.

It's so gross when it's not hot.

Okay, let me just go get my laundry.

Actually,

it's still a bit wet and the sun's coming

out now.

I'll leave it out there a bit more.

God, I love these China tariff headlines

and tweets tanking the market.

It's great.

I made my hair look all nice today because

I thought I was gonna make a video, but I

couldn't be bothered because I made 2

yesterday, so I'll make one tomorrow.

I just have no idea.

I feel like the video

idea process begins when I sit in front of

the camera and then just think, okay,

what's the dumbest thing I can say

with a clickbait title?

Hmm.

Stupid flies.

That's a long-ass middle finger.

What, that?

Shut it.

Why did you confide in Kale?

Hmm, because he's like the only person who

hits you up and asks you, how's life

going?

Not many people do that, to be honest.

Not even my own family.

So it feels nice.

So I told him stuff like I was working for

Amazon Flex or Every before I told

everyone else.

And then I also told him about all this

Sunny stuff before I told anyone else.

Like I was talking to him

Yeah, basically the whole time during the

beginning of the Sunny thing.

Apparently he blocked Crypt.

I don't know why.

Download, re-upload a bunch of old videos.

Yeah, but I feel like that's a bit too

lazy.

I'd rather just remake the old videos and

pretend it's new because I got so many new

viewers now.

They don't know about all this old stuff.

I could literally just remake it and

they'll think it's a new video.

Mm-hmm.

Someone took my garbage bin.

It's not out there.

The bin men came

and then they left, and I didn't go out

straight away to get the bin bag and the

bin box.

And the bin box is gone.

But luckily I've got a second one that

they put under the sink to catch water.

This time I wrote a big number 17 on it.

I don't know if they're going to give it

back.

I don't know who took it.

And there's 2 white sacks out there.

I took my one, so they— someone didn't

take their white sack.

And they took my, my food waste box.

Bit annoying.

I should have taken it straight away, I

guess.

Oh well, I got, I got another one, and I

think you can get new ones for free or

whatever.

I got rid of 5 black sacks of big garbage.

Oh my god, is he gonna keep tanking?

Should I enter another short?

Oh my god,

this tanked so much.

How much?

1%.

Made a 1.2% move on the Nasdaq in one

single swoop.

How does it feel to have your stuff

stolen?

It was just a mistake.

It's just a plastic box.

You don't even need the plastic box.

I don't know, actually.

Can I put food waste outside if it's not

in the plastic box?

Because then how are they going to know

it's food waste?

My car looks kind of scruffy now.

It's covered in bird poo and spider webs.

I should go and clean it when the

weather's better.

Oh yeah,

I mean, if I'm paying £120 a month for

council tax, they should bloody well give

me a free one.

I think it's going to keep tanking.

But where's it going to tank to?

It's not worth it.

I mean, if you're wrong and it bounces,

then you just give back all the money you

just made.

I was too quick to take profit.

If I just wasn't looking at it, I wouldn't

even know, and I would be up way more now.

It looks like Nasdaq tanked harder than

SPY.

Oh,

I mustn't be greedy.

I'm up 60% anyway.

At least I didn't lose money like

Travelling Trader did today.

Okay,

we got all these new people on Discord.

Some of them are like, what, this place is

disgusting.

You're all a bunch of losers.

And then they left.

Yeah, a bunch of people joined and then

left almost straight away.

It's kind of funny.

The Discord is an acquired taste.

Some people love it, some hate it.

How'd you get in the Discord?

If you watched my last video, you'd know.

Guess you're not a true fan.

I feel like a girl sent those Kit Kats

because the letter had my address

handwritten on it.

And the handwriting looked a bit girly.

Men's writing is usually kind of pointy,

like spider legs, and women's writing is

more rounded.

I wonder who sent it.

I'll show you the envelope in a minute.

What's on my mind?

It's, um,

really annoying that I took profit because

the market is still tanking.

Oh my God, I was waiting for this all day.

I didn't think it would tank this much.

That's crazy.

Go back in?

No.

I think I've left

0.44% times 20.

I missed out on 9% extra.

No, I didn't say you're number 5, Kate.

They're lying.

Still my number 2.

Am I looking forward to the new Rainbow

Six Siege update?

I didn't even know there was one.

Yeah, I thought about getting back into

it.

It always did help me come up with video

ideas to play Rainbow Six and brainstorm

whilst doing it.

It's kind of got like an ASMR feeling to

it.

Because you don't really have to think,

you just play it on autopilot,

and then you die.

So then you have to sit out the rest of

the match or round.

It's always been like a comfort zone for

me, Rainbow Six.

AJ messaged me today.

She said she's back.

She'll try and get into the stream if she

can stay awake.

She says she had a very nice time in

Indonesia.

Can I think of a new title for my streams?

Like what?

I don't know.

Well, how about It's Tanking in capital

letters?

That's pretty good.

Uh, we finished the Sunny Whiskey.

We just have a tiny drop left.

Got this for

my birthday.

We need to introduce DJ to AJ.

We need a CJ and a BJ.

That was good.

That just came out naturally.

We need to get all the alphabets.

Your mum said she'll take you back.

Okay, where's my apology?

And tell her to send me my Amex credit

card.

I

wish I would see you live doing something

different.

What could I do that doesn't cost any

money where I don't have to go outside?

I already apologized.

Imagine she doesn't think I've apologized

when I literally apologized.

Play Hollow Knight?

I played that ages ago.

It's old.

I only play new games.

Rainbow Six.

I think it's finished tanking.

When did I apologize?

When me and Sunny broke up, I was gonna go

home.

I was gonna pack all my stuff into the car

and just ditch this place and then come

back.

I was gonna ditch this place, go home, and

And then come back here at the end of the

tenancy and like sort it out.

But that would have been so dumb.

Imagine going back to my mum's house

whilst paying rent here.

No, I did.

I do admit I said some things that were

out of line and I maybe took it too far

and I apologize for it, but

I was provoked.

I wouldn't just say those things without

any reason.

It's like Japan didn't bomb Pearl Harbor

for no reason.

They didn't just do it for laughs.

They had a reason to do it because America

was placing sanctions or embargoes on oil

to Japan.

So Japan couldn't get enough oil for its

empire.

So they had no option but to seize Western

territory in Asia.

And in order to be able to seize the

Asian— I mean, the Western territory in

Asia, they had to first do a preemptive

strike on Pearl Harbor to destroy

America's Navy.

So there was a reason for it, is my point.

Yeah, I think it's finished tanking.

It's bouncing off— I

don't even know what it's bouncing off, to

be honest.

Right in the middle of nowhere.

Maybe it's not done then.

I hurt my back now from lifting those 15

kgs.

It's all your fault for telling me to

exercise.

Got a tiny twang in lower back,

so I had to take a bit of a break.

That's the annoying thing about working

out.

You try to improve your body, you end up

hurting yourself instead.

Yeah, it's when, it's when I kind of like,

I lean into it to get it above the elbow

so I can start pushing it up.

I kind of go like, and like lean into my

back.

That's probably why.

Well, no one told me anything about it

when I was doing it.

And now you're like, oh, we told you.

Sorry, Daniel.

Yeah, after the fact,

I can do about 2 or 3 reps without leaning

into the back.

And then after that, I kind of have to

like cheat a little bit.

So I should probably just focus on doing 2

to 3 reps.

Because I can do those without using my

back.

Back's kind of stupid, isn't it?

Yeah, look, it's bouncing now.

Oh, I'm so glad though.

I made £17,

plus I made like £15 this morning, but

then I lost about £13 because of stupid

Traveling Trader.

I, I think he's making me lose money.

He's like, oh yeah, it's definitely going

up, so I join him and then it goes down.

He lost hundreds of dollars per contract

today.

My day trading account's at £257 because I

added £100 a couple nights ago.

What if I sit down when I do the bicep

curl?

That might help.

Do you think Bloodbucket's mad I made a

video about what happened?

I don't know, she said, whatever, lol.

That seems not overly enthused.

I didn't think she would care because she,

she was— she seemed disappointed when I

told her not to tell anyone.

Yeah, I don't think she cares.

Well, we lost all of the 2023 and '24

girls, and we lost Sunny and Blood Bucket

now.

Old news.

Sunny would get destroyed by the new girls

now.

Crypt would—

Crypt would pulverize Sunny into the dust.

Crypt takes no prisoners.

She destroyed Cake into dust and then Cake

just disappeared.

Sunny would stand no chance.

Yeah, be careful, K-Bug.

She's watching you.

Yeah, Blood Bucket really likes Sunny as

well.

And I think in a lesbian way,

because it was kind of strange how sad and

disappointed she was when I said I can't

do the sleepover.

Maybe me and Sunny would have banged at

Blood Bucket's house and Blood Bucket

would have been peeping through the door.

Yeah, she— I think she did kind of want

Sunny.

Japanese people find Sunny very

attractive, by the way.

Like, you guys keep saying she's mid and

stuff.

To Japanese people, Sunny's like 8 out of

10.

I saw the way they interacted with her.

They love— they love Sunny.

They were like so nice and kind to her

because

she's like really white looking

in Japan.

She looks very special.

Like, I could see the way the, the Asian

guys at the bar were looking at her, like

very smitten.

Yeah, I was jealous because Japanese

people were never that nice to me.

They tell me to dock it and call me omae

and like get angry at me.

Nah, Sunny would never have gone with the

guys at the bar.

They look weird.

Like this Korean guy,

he looked young.

I mean, you could tell he was a young guy,

but he looked old.

Like he had old man kind of look.

A lot of Korean guys are like that.

And Asian men.

There's like a, there's like a phenotype

of Asian men where they're young, like in

their 20s or early 30s.

But for some reason they look like

50-year-old men.

They got very thin hair.

They got very hollow face and very small

eyes.

There's one Asian guy that comes to mind.

His name is Nihongo Gamer.

That guy looks old, but I think he's

younger than me.

And then there's this other guy from Hong

Kong.

Did anyone watch Digital Rev TV with Kai

and Lock?

The guy Lock looks old as fuck, even

though he's like 30-something, probably.

There's like a phenotype of Asian guys

that look like that.

The Korean guy at the bar looked like

that.

Like very thin hair,

very small eyes, like hollow square face.

Yeah, Kai looks kind of old as well.

Like he looks— he's got that old man face,

like rugged pug bulldog face.

Yeah, I used to love DigitalRevTV.

I used to watch it all the time when I was

into cameras.

I was such a camera nerd.

I would geek out on cameras and lenses.

DSLRs, mirrorless, A-frames, A-sensors.

Yeah.

And then there's this other guy who was

like a bit, quite a bit taller than me and

he spoke really good English and he was

Japanese.

I think he was Korean.

I can't remember, but he kept spitting at

me.

He was talking to me and I kept feeling

saliva hit my face.

It was disgusting.

He's like, so how long have you been in

Japan for?

Do you like it in Japan?

The saliva is flying everywhere.

I was like, yeah, it's great.

It's disgusting.

He was so drunk.

And then there was this French guy and he

just kept yelling, fuck you, and then

giving the finger.

He's so lame.

You go to bars, a bunch of drunk guys

being idiots.

Well, if you don't talk to the girls, you

just end up stuck with all the drunk guys.

And then there was this, this older

looking Japanese guy.

He looked like Natsuki, big fat round

head, and he was pretty fat as well.

He looked like, I don't know, late 40s,

mid-40s, but he kept trying to like I

don't know, he looked very happy to talk

to Sunny.

He was like, oh, you very charming.

He sounded exactly like Natsuki.

He was so fat though, like his stomach was

like—

and his head was massive, like a

watermelon, like a bowling ball.

Like you could chop off his head and then

stick your fingers in his eyes and bowled

it down a bowling alley.

It was huge.

Doesn't it hurt their necks having such a

huge head?

I don't know how— like, you know Gangnam

Style guy Psy?

His head's massive.

It's like a concrete block.

I don't know how the heads get so big.

Really weird.

Do they have bigger brains?

That market bounced hard.

It now bounced back up to where I took

profits.

Sunny used to find it funny when I did

this on stream.

She had a bunch of screenshots of me

picking my nose on stream like that.

She just had these screenshots of me on

her phone from when she was watching my

streams.

It's pretty funny.

I hate it when you get backache.

It makes moving about and everything just

feel sluggish.

Stupid pack.

EDK has more active users than my Discord.

Uh, no it doesn't.

Mine has like 70 people online right now.

His one has, I don't know, 5 or 10, but

they talk a lot.

Because they're on it all day long.

They got no lives.

So he's got less viewers, but they talk

more.

I got more— I mean, he's got less members,

but they talk more.

His servers just got all the losers that

are banned.

Did you and Chihiro plan to go to Bali?

No, me and Essex Girl were gonna go to

Bali, although she was pretty never

serious about it because she always

ghosted me when we were about to make

plans to meet.

Is Bali nice?

It looks nice.

I want to go to the Maldives when I have

that YouTube money and do like a travel

vlog.

Hmm.

I'd rather just go to a Cornish beach

nearby

and get a Cornish pasty.

Should we finish the whiskey?

Took me 2 months to drink the whole

bottle.

I wouldn't mind getting some rice wine.

Blended Japanese whiskeys from Suntory.

Go on holiday with Kbug.

Where will we go?

Let's go to Japan.

I'll show you where my wife lives.

I'll take you on a tour around my

ex-wife's neighborhood.

We can go shopping at the supermarket she

goes to.

It'll be so good.

Maybe Bloodbucker will let us stay at her

house for free.

We can have a threesome.

I feel like Crypt and Bloodbucket would

get along really well.

They're nearly almost the same kind of

people.

They've both got loads of cats and the

inside of the houses look kind of similar

and they both got tattoos.

Yeah, it would be nice to go somewhere

with a girl.

Instead of just lonely traveling.

Looking forward to your road trip.

Oh, thanks.

Is it approved?

Does Pia really want to go?

Crypt wants to go to this cat rescue

village in Shropshire, which is— I think

it's in Wales,

like North Wales.

It's about 220 miles away, 4 hours.

I marked out some chargers.

There's a Supercharger in Bristol, and

there's another charger on the outskirts

of Wolverhampton,

or maybe the Instavolt charger on the way

to Shropshire.

Could do it.

But where do we pick Pier up from?

I'm assuming she doesn't want her house to

be doxxed.

And then will it be vlogged or not

vlogged?

Why do I want Pier to join?

Well, it was Crypt's idea.

Crypt wants to meet Pia.

Yeah,

it would be quite fun.

Although I'm a bit nervous driving to— I'm

a bit nervous around the Wolverhampton

area.

They got some big roads.

Is it the M5 or the M4 motorway?

It's got some big-ass roundabouts, 4-lane

roundabouts, traffic light controlled.

Oh, I need toilet.

Oh,

oh.

Japan taxing people if they don't have

kids.

What?

It is weird so many people can't be

bothered to have kids.

I mean, it is a lot of hard work trying to

find a partner and then raise a family.

And then devote your life to providing for

your family.

Everyone's become so selfish and entitled.

All they care about is themselves and like

getting the latest gaming computer or

going on holiday.

Imagine having kids instead and then being

broke

like me.

Well, yeah, kind of.

The worst thing would be having kids and

they grow up and they hate you.

And then you're like, well, what was the

point of having a kid then?

I just created another person in the world

who hates me now.

I would want my kid to— I want to have a

good relationship with my kid.

Well, if you want your kid to like you,

you have to show some respect to the kid.

And try and raise them right.

Like, if a crazy dog goes rampant, whose

fault is it?

Is it the dog's fault, or is it the

owner's fault for not training it exactly?

Your kids will sponge off you.

Well, I'm broke, so there's not much to

sponge off.

If they want stuff, they're gonna have to

go and get their own money.

Why do you want me to say the word boring

over and over again for a minute straight?

That sounds really boring.

Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring.

Imagine your kid turns out like Danny.

What, doing gay OnlyFans?

I've got 51 fans on my OnlyFans now,

raking it in.

I made

$644 in May.

I made $45,959 in total.

It's pretty good.

Not bad for showing the bumhole.

If I offered you $46,000, would you show

me your bumhole?

Bet you would.

Everyone's got a price.

My moneymaker.

I put stuff up my bumhole, I get the

money.

The hair removal cream is not very good.

The hair's all grown back already and I

used half the pot and it stinks.

It smells like rotten eggs.

I don't know what kind of chemical they

put in that hair removal cream.

It's not holy.

It's funny, the market bounced and it's

using the line that I drew where I took

profits as a resistance line.

Weird.

I don't like all the hair that leads up to

the belly button.

I've got like a triangle shape going up to

the belly button like a leaf.

I don't like that.

Do you want to see it?

No, just kidding.

You gotta pay for that.

You don't get it for free.

If I sit like this, maybe it's better for

my back.

I hurt my back so many times doing Amazon

Flex.

For the 3 months I did Amazon Flex, my

back was in pain for almost all of it.

I kept— because there would be like a big

box in the car and And I would have to

lean into the car and use my back to pull

it out.

Couldn't use my legs.

My neck was really painful too one time

Sunny came over.

Now my shoulders hurt here from lifting

those 15 kgs.

It's annoying because I can lift it,

but it damages my body.

I have the power to actually lift it,

but then I end up aching everywhere.

Oh my God, did you hear that?

Oh, right in the lower back.

Oh, that felt good.

It went—

but I got better pecs now.

Look at my pecs.

My boobage.

You can see it through my double layers.

Give it a squeeze.

Is it gonna tank again?

Am I excited for Death Stranding 2?

I didn't even know there was gonna be one.

I didn't finish the first one.

I was really enjoying it and And then it

got stupid when you start getting machine

guns and bazookas, and then these big ink

squid things or giants start appearing out

of the ground.

It just got so stupid.

I liked it in the beginning when you're

just a humble delivery man transporting

packages using a variety of tools like

ropes and ladders.

And it's like, okay, I've got a job to do.

And then it just got really stupid.

They end up running around with machine

guns just gunning people down.

What the hell happened to the game?

The concept just completely went down the

toilet.

Can you admit Blood Bucket is a granny?

Also, you should get your bum either laser

hair removal or get it waxed Brazilian

style.

The gay fans will love that stuff.

I don't think a 50-year-old is a granny.

A granny is a 70-year-old.

Like 70 or 80 years old is a granny.

50-year-old is just your friend's mum,

basically.

Like if I had a friend who's in his 30s,

his mum would be in her 50s.

She looks like a granny.

What?

So you're saying it's based on looks, not

age?

You're only saying that because you think

she looks like a granny.

If she was like hot and looked young, then

you wouldn't say she's a granny.

Have I had older?

Hmm,

she walks with a hunch.

Yeah, because she's got a back problem,

it's not because of her age.

I mean, Sam Pepper has the same thing

with his shoulder thingy, and he's not a

granny.

No, 50-year-old is a MILF, not, not a

GILF.

A GILF is 70+.

Maybe if you're 20 years old to you a

50-year-old is like ancient.

But when you're 36, it's only 15 years

older.

Like if a girl banged a 50-year-old guy,

would you say she banged a grandpa?

No, you just say she banged a middle-aged

guy in a midlife crisis.

70+ would be grandpa, granny.

I don't think I ever banged a 60-year-old.

I swear Tomoko looked older than Blood

Bucket, and Tomoko was supposedly supposed

to be 43 or 42.

Tomoko looked old as fuck.

She looked frail and, you know, I don't

know, like

Bony.

No, I'm not dating her.

We just banged a few times.

Hmm, market bounced 10%.

Well, half a percent.

10% if it was leveraged.

Did Sunny know about you and Blood Bucket?

No.

I only told— well, I didn't tell anyone,

to be honest.

Blood Bucket told Kale, and then Kale told

Pia, and then Pia told Ken.

I didn't tell anyone.

Why would I bring it up?

Why would I be like, oh, by the way,

sorry, I'm banging Blood Bucket.

It's just weird, isn't it?

And she never asked.

If she asked, I might have done my weird

smile like, no.

And then I would have been busted.

The holy trinity of secret keepers.

Yeah, I suck at lying because I do this

stupid grin like

Of course I love you.

I can't stop smiling.

And the more I think, don't do the smile,

don't do the smile, I do it more.

Sometimes I do it when I'm not even lying

because I know that if I accidentally lie,

then they'll think I'm lying.

I mean, if I accidentally do the grin,

then it means I'm lying, even though I'm

not lying.

So sometimes it happens by accident, even

when I'm telling the truth.

Wow, Ethereum tanked.

Good thing I sold it.

I sold it at $2,700.

It's like $2,500 now.

Investing genius.

I might actually have my money for June.

Looks like a market crash is on the cards.

Look at that, my hair's looking good