I'm back

Testing,

testing.

Oh, this feels so weird to do after I

promised to quit YouTube. I feel like I'm

doing something wrong.

It feels so weird.

But also nice, I guess.

I've got so much explaining to do.

Did you get my message on Instagram?

Yeah, but I don't really care about

Restoring my cloud. It's not

a big loss. Oh, thanks, Aelos.

Aelos. Welcome back. It's good to be back.

It's been a rough few weeks. I never felt

so miserable. Welcome back.

After bed, Sunny. Thanks, Mummy.

Oh God, I think you guys could probably

guess what happened.

I miss doing YouTube so much.

I can't, I can't live without YouTube. I

just can't. I love it so much.

Maybe I might suck at doing YouTube, but I

really do think it's just the right— I'm

happy you broke up with the toxic wench

who destroyed your channel, but I highly

doubt it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's over

Um, so basically what happened was she

wanted me to quit YouTube, and then I

stupidly said yes, and then realized how

miserable it made me not doing YouTube.

And then I said, I can't not do YouTube.

And then she was like, okay, well then

that's your choice. But then it's my

choice if I don't want to be with you.

And I said, okay, I can't

be with someone who won't let me do

YouTube. That's it. That's a deal breaker.

I can, I can bend over backwards only so

far, but there's one thing I can't do,

and that's quit YouTube. I can't. It's a

ridiculous idea to think I can quit

YouTube. There's no way.

I love doing YouTube. I think doing

YouTube is one of the greatest things in

the world. I was just miserable at

the idea of not being able to share my

life and talk to my viewers and throw my

community away. It made me feel so

terrible. No, I didn't delete the videos.

They're private.

It's really annoying because it's like

having to make a really difficult

decision. Like, what do you choose? The

career you love or your girlfriend? I

thought— I thought choosing the girlfriend

was the right choice, but I don't think it

Will I relist the videos? Yeah, I guess

so, when I can be bothered.

The Turkey Tom thing was probably one of

the reasons why she wanted me to stop

doing YouTube. I just, I feel like if it

wasn't for the Turkey Tom thing, maybe it

wouldn't have gone that far. I just— I

don't know why it's so weird.

So why all of a sudden is she like, oh,

you got to stop YouTube or I can't date

you? It's so weird.

Like, she didn't have any problem with me

doing YouTube for the past year, and then

all of a sudden it's like, oh, I can't

date you if you don't stop YouTube.

Thanks for letting me know that before I

made this massive investment into moving

here and getting a place. Like it would

have been useful to know that information

before I made massive life choices to move

halfway across the country.

Unbelievable.

I try, I really tried hard to think, can I

live without YouTube? Can I just have a

normal job and I might be happy? I wasn't

happy. I was more miserable than I've ever

been before. I don't want, I don't want to

have to work full time. I don't want to be

a wage slave full-time. I can do a couple

hours and do part-time. That's fine. But

my life goal is not to be a full-time

wage slave. That's not— it's not my dream.

It's not my goal in life.

That's not what my aspirations are. I

don't want to be a full-time. She was

like, oh, just quit YouTube and live

a normal life and work full-time. I don't

want to work full-time. Maybe you're okay

with doing that, but I don't want to do— I

don't want to work full-time. It's lame.

Boring.

Why would I want to do that? Sucks. Hate

working. I can barely keep on doing my

current job, which is just a couple hours

a day.

I want to do YouTube. That's what I want

to do in life. I want to make content, I

want to stream, and I just don't think

I'd be happy if I can't do that.

Yeah, it's been a really tough few weeks,

but I think it's kind of made me realize

what's important to me. And, um, I think,

yeah, okay, I didn't really want to break

up with Sunny, but if she doesn't want to

date me because I want to do YouTube,

then she's got to leave.

That's my, my ultimatum is if

you don't want me to do YouTube, then

leave. You leave.

I'm not dating any girl who makes me quit

doing stuff I love doing. It's not worth

it. I thought it was worth it because I

was so miserable last stream and I was so

sad and depressed and she, she kind of got

me at my weakest moment. And I caved,

but I'm feeling more mentally strong now.

Oh, thanks, Gerbert.

She got what she wanted. Stop new momentum

from Toki Tom video. I mean,

it already happened, didn't it? I already

got bunch of extra views from the Turkey

Tom thing, and I, I don't really care,

to be honest, because it doesn't last.

Like, the Abern Preacher video didn't

last. Elvis the Alien video didn't last.

It gives you a little bump in viewership,

but I'm not really banking on it.

I would prefer it if it didn't happen. It

caused me a lot of problems. Like, now my

mum is angry with me because of what I

said when I was triggered about Holly's

comment on the TokiTon video.

And actually, I wanted to go home today.

I was going to— actually, last night I was

thinking I'm just going to pack all my

stuff into my car and leave and then sort

out like a moving van closer to the

move-out date. But then I talked to my mum

this morning and I was like, yeah, no, I

do not want to see my mum. She just

refuses to admit she did anything wrong.

It's like that. I— she takes it as a

personal insult that I even insinuate that

she did anything wrong. It's unbelievable.

She actually thinks she did nothing wrong

and that I just said horrible things for

no reason at all.

Obviously, I said horrible things for a

reason because I was provoked.

But she won't take any responsibility or

admit she did any wrongdoing. So I was

like, okay, I'm just going to stay here

then if you're going to be like that.

I said sorry for saying the things I said,

but she won't— she would just be like

blaming me for everything.

So she literally thinks she has done no

wrong at all.

Insane. All I want was like, I'm sorry

too, Daniel. I shouldn't have snapped at

you over nothing, which was basically what

she did. Snapped at me because there's a

dish in the sink which wasn't even my

dish. So it's such a stupid reason to get

angry at me. And then she has the audacity

to think that she's done nothing wrong.

It's insane. I'm not going back to my mum.

Screw that.

So I can't believe she can't— she has zero

ability to admit to any wrongdoing.

Unbelievable.

Actually unbelievable. Sorry,

I guess I'm stuck here. I don't know what

I really don't know what to do.

What did I do on my birthday? Well, I had

a nice birthday with Sunny. We went to a

restaurant. It's a nice little

moment of peace before I got all depressed

again. You know, I was quite happy in the

beginning to get Sunny back, and I

thought, I don't need YouTube, whatever.

But then I just got more and more

miserable, and then I just kept thinking,

oh my god, this is so stupid. Why am I

giving up my life's work, my channel, my

community, everything I worked so hard to

build? Why am I just flushing it down the

And then the reasons she had for me to

delete the channel were so stupid in the

first place. Like, oh, I'm getting

bullied, boo-hoo. So it's not my content.

There's nothing wrong with my content.

Like, I'm not doing anything bad. I'm not

doing anything wrong. But she doesn't want

me to do YouTube because some of the

viewers say mean things about her. I need

to serial another girl, not dating, just

serial, to force the end of the

relationship and get your mind off of her,

lol. Well, that's how Sunny started off,

didn't it? It started off as just serial,

and then it becomes serious, and then it

turns into a massive mess. And she

literally just wants me to stop YouTube

because people were bullying her. As if

that's my fault. That's not my fault.

Why do I have to give up my channel?

Because she's getting bullied by some

viewers.

That's— I don't control what people think.

If people don't like you, it's because

you've done something to make them not

like you. It's not my fault they don't

like you. Why am I getting punished

because they don't like you?

How is like deleting the whole channel

gonna stop people from— it's just gonna

make people dislike you more, if anything.

She has no understanding about YouTube and

communities and parasocial relationships.

So all the people on the Reddit and the

Discord, they're still there chatting

whether I do YouTube or not.

It makes no sense.

Now, why do I have to stop doing YouTube

just because some viewers are saying mean

things? That's so stupid. So I

got more and more angry about her

reasoning for me not being allowed to do

I got more and more pissed. At the end, I

was like, ah, screw this. And then the

final straw was when— so I thought, okay,

I'll stop streaming and I'll stop doing

hiding my room content. I'll just do

gaming and cooking and some tech stuff on

my second channel. And I thought that

would be okay. I thought she wouldn't have

a problem if I just did gaming stuff. But

no, like, she was like, oh, I don't think—

I don't notice that you're doing gaming

videos on your second channel. I wasn't

Thinking I was doing it secretly. I

thought you knew. I thought you were okay

with it. And she wasn't okay with it

because she said it's the same viewers on

the second channel. They'll all know. The

same, what, 15 toxic viewers on the second

channel too? Better run and hide. Oh no,

the 12 toxic people from the internet

coming to get us. Gotta shut down

everything. What a stupid reason.

But who cares?

Who cares what they think?

It's absolutely insane to let a

bunch of internet bullies bully you off

the internet. That's actually insane.

Grow a spine.

And it's not like all my viewers are

toxic. Yeah, okay, there's some toxic

viewers, but they don't— that's not the

majority of the viewers. There's plenty of

nice viewers who say positive things and

support me and want the best for me. So

not everyone is toxic. I would say it's

like a couple dozen, like a small handful

who are really toxic. Like, let them go

and talk in their echo chamber on Reddit

or wherever. Who cares?

She's so wrong about this. I just so— I

disagree so strongly with her thinking

on this.

Yeah, I mean, I literally did the unboxing

of the phone in front of her and she

was coughing and I was like, you're going

to be in the video. And she was like,

okay. So obviously I thought, okay, well,

it's okay if I can make gaming and tech

videos, but then she still got mad at me.

So what, am I not allowed to make any

videos at all? No, I can't. I mean, I

thought maybe I could not stream anymore

and not do my normal content, but Maybe

I could do tech stuff and gaming stuff and

get a couple hundred dollars on the second

channel. That could help. But she was

like, no, not even allowed to do that.

She said, why don't you make a new

channel? I said, I have made new channels.

I've got like 10 channels. The toxic

people always find them. Even my random

fish channel, which has one video about my

fish tank, the subreddit found it.

You can't make a new channel and think

people aren't going to find it. And

there's no point because it's not going to

get monetized. You need 1,000 subs and

then you need 4,000 watch time hours. I

did get 1,000 subs on my third channel,

my Thailand channel, but I didn't get the

watch time hours because the views kind of

fell off. To be able to monetize a

channel, it takes, takes a lot. And I'm

lucky because I managed to get 2 monetized

channels. Thanks to when I went viral back

in 2018. It's really hard to get another

monetized channel. And, um, they would

definitely find it again. Like, if I made

a new channel, they'd definitely find it

again. And then she'll just be like, oh,

the top— your toxic creepy viewers found

your new channel, Daniel. Shut it down.

There's no way I could make a comeback on

YouTube without people finding out about

it. If it's really over, please compare

her pussy to your other girlfriends. If

you refuse, it means you're going to get

back with her, which is probably— No, I'm

not going to be disrespectful. I'm not

going to, you know, be creepy and weird.

I'm just saying I completely disagree with

her logic in every single way. I think

it's completely flawed logic.

It is completely wrong to let bullies

chase you away from something. Okay? She

doesn't love it. She doesn't have a

passion for YouTube. She doesn't make any

money from doing it. I get it. So she

doesn't want to be a part of it. I get it.

But I do. I am passionate

about YouTube. I do make money off it,

and I'm willing to put up with the

toxicity. But yeah, okay, if the girl

doesn't want to be part of that, that's

fine. I can't argue with that.

I can't argue with that, can I? I can't.

I can't convince her to want to be a part

of it if she doesn't want to be a part of

it.

So yeah, it's just frustrating. The whole

thing's just been so frustrating.

And she's completely changed. Our first

texts were stuff like, oh, let's make some

fake content for your channel. Yeah, she

was so enthusiastic about making content,

and I thought, this is really cool. And

then she completely flipped on that as

soon as she started getting some hate.

Why haven't you made your videos public?

Because there's like 1,000 videos and it

will take ages. I'll probably do it

tonight. No, probably tomorrow afternoon.

You're passionate about money? Well,

yeah, I need money. I just found out how

much money I made in March from my driving

job. It's really bad. Basically, I worked

every single day, Monday to Saturday, for

4 weeks, and I made £900.

My earnings invoice came About

a week ago, actually. I delivered 1,520

parcels. I made £908.

I cannot live off £908.

I need my YouTube income and I don't want

to get— I don't want to work full-time

doing this. God, if I had to do delivery

work 6 hours a day, I would be so

miserable. And then I would just resent

her for making me do it because I don't

want— I don't want to do 6 hours a day.

And then even if I did 6 hours a day of

delivering work, 6 days a week, I would

only make £1,800 a month. It's not worth

it. The money's rubbish. I don't know what

the manager was talking about. The manager

was talking a load of bollocks. The

manager was like, oh yeah, you're gonna

make £70 a day easy, mate. What a load of

bollocks. I'm making like £30 a day. The

hell are you talking about?

And he doesn't even talk to me anymore. I

saw him this morning. He pulled up in his

car. He didn't even get out of his car. I

finished packing my car and I was like,

oh, I guess I'll just go. He didn't even

get out of his car. I think he was having

a phone call or something in the car. It

was really weird. He just like completely

sold me a load of bollocks over the phone

and then he ghosted me. He was saying,

oh yeah, you're making £75 a day easy.

And then if I give you the double shift,

you'll be making £120 a day. All a load of

rubbish. I'm making £30 to

£35 a day doing what

I'm doing, which is like, okay, I'm only

doing 2 to 3 hours of delivery work a day,

and it's roughly about— I did the

calculations and it averages out around

£13 an hour, which, okay, is above minimum

But I feel really fed up and tired after

doing 3 hours. I don't want to do 6 hours.

I'm getting fed up with the stupid

customers. They keep giving me negative

ratings for bollocks like, oh,

the box has a hole in it. Negative rating.

Oh, he didn't knock my door. Boo effing

hoo. So maybe just check outside

the door then. I don't know. I can't be

bothered knocking every freaking door.

I've got like 80 parcels to deliver. I'm

not standing at the door knocking it.

If they got a doorbell, I press the

doorbell. I'm not knocking it. If there's

no doorbell, maybe buy a freaking

doorbell. Or why don't you just get a

little box and put parcel box? It's so

easy. These stupid idiots complain so much

about the dumbest stuff. Oh, he just left

the parcel by the door. Where was I

supposed to leave it then, moron? Why

don't you get a parcel box and label it

parcels here, and then I'll put it in the

damn parcel box? Gosh,

people are so irritating.

I can't stand doing this job. And to think

she was like— to think to stay with Sunny,

I would have to do more. I would have to

do double what I'm doing. I can't. I would

have a mental breakdown. I was gonna have

a mental breakdown from doing Amazon Flex,

which is why I sabotaged it, and I was

gonna focus on doing YouTube. That was my

plan. I was gonna quit doing Amazon Flex

and I was gonna double down on YouTube.

And then the whole fight with my mum thing

happened that I had to move out. And then

I thought everything was good because I

got this new delivery job, which is quite

easy, and then I'll just do YouTube with

it as well and everything'd be great. And

then Sunny's like, oh no, you gotta stop

doing YouTube. Jesus Christ, give me a

break, women. All these women are trying

to control me and tell me what to do. I'm

sick and tired of it. I just want to do

what I want to do and live my life. And

follow my dreams and passions. And if you

don't want to be a part of that, then the

door's open. Leave. I'm done trying

to please you. I'm done. I'm just— I'm

going to do what makes me happy. And if no

women want to come along with me, then so

be it. You break up with me when I say you

do. You are not the one controlling this

narrative. No, I'm back. I'm taking back

control. And you will do double. You are

still in love with me and you know you'll

never find anyone better. No, I'm done.

See you in a few weeks. I'm taking back

control of the ship. I'm the captain

now.

No, I'm not going to cry and be miserable

again. That last stream where I was having

a mental breakdown, that was the bottom.

That was, that was it. That was the lowest

low. I'm not going to get all depressed

and sad about it anymore again. That's it.

That was the low. The bottom's in.

It's only upside from here.

Yeah, the channel is number one. It is my

life force. It's my bread and butter.

It's what makes me feel like I've achieved

anything in the world. I'm not giving up

my channel. And even if the channel died

and didn't become profitable anymore, I

would still want to make videos. At the

hope that something will get some views.

Because even if it dies, the dream dies,

at the end of the day, I can still feel

like I'm not giving up. I'm still going to

make videos like, I don't know, iPhone 17

sucks or whatever. There's still a

potential that I could get some views.

But the way that she was like, no, you

can't even do that. Like, she completely

tried to piss all over my bonfire and

extinguish my dream. I thought, okay,

the hiding my room channel is kind of dead

anyway, whatever. But at least, at least

give me something. At least get

compromised. Give me something like let me

make gaming videos. Where is your reaction

to the Trump tariffs? LOL. RIP stocks and

world economy. Did Sunny take that away

from you too? No, that's a whole part of

Markets rip after the Trump trade war back

in 2018. The SPY was up like 30%. Barrick

Gold was up 300% after March 2018, which

was the beginning of the 2018 first trade

war. And I was kind of banking that the

same thing was going to happen again, and

looks like it is. So I see 300% upside

to Barrick Gold, uh, over the next 2

years. It took 2 years. 2018 to 2020 was,

um, the peak— was the low and then the

peak of the first trade Trump trade war.

So I was kind of banking on this

happening. Barrick Gold did take a massive

beating, more than I was expecting, but it

took a massive beating back in 2018 as

well. So, uh, it's all within my strategy.

Markets ripped after they dipped when

he announced the first trade war.

So yeah, I think buy the dip. You want to

get into the markets, now is golden

opportunity. I think we've bottomed.

Yeah, the VIX has double topped and it's

going back down again. I might get out of

my Tesla short actually. I'm in a Tesla

short, but it's not going well.

That's okay, I'm only down £1. I've been

day trading with a £20 funded account.

I've lost half of it already. I thought

when Sunny said I can't do YouTube

anymore, I thought, okay, I'm going to do

day trading. I started getting really into

day trading and I was watching like day

trading masterclasses and stuff. And I

came up with a strategy like I'm going to

take 4 trades a day with 2:1 risk ratio.

I only have to win 2 trades out of 4 to

remain profitable. And I had a plan and

everything and I couldn't stick to it. I

was like, fuck this. And then I just

randomly started buying and selling

anywhere, hoping it goes up and down. I

couldn't be bothered. I hate day trading.

It sucks. All the candlebars

and the patterns, all that's a lot of

rubbish. I hate day trading. I like

investing and holding things over the long

term, but I hate day trading. Now I just

day trade now with £10 just for fun. You

know, the only times I win on my day

trades is when I just give up and then I

remove my stop loss and I let it ride

overnight. My Tesla, I went,

I went short Tesla and it ripped to £270

and I was down like £2 and I just switched

it off, went to bed. I woke up next

morning, Tesla crashed overnight and I was

up 50 pence. So the only time I win is

when I stop looking at it and I just leave

it. I can't do the whole, you know,

perfect entry point.

It's so frustrating. I'd love to be a day

trader. It looks so cool, but I can't do

it. You need so much discipline.

It's just so hard. I think I'm just way

too emotional when I get mad, and then you

revenge trade and then you blow

Do a recap about Sunny. Basically, she

wanted me to quit YouTube or else we have

to break up, and at first I agreed to it,

and then I realized I can't live without

YouTube. And I said, I just told her I

can't do it. I need YouTube.

I know it causes me a lot of problems,

and it's not like it makes loads of money,

but I, I don't know

how I'd exist without it.

Tell us when you last met her. It was last

weekend. She went home on Sunday.

Wasn't it Mother's Day? Yeah, Sunday was

Mother's Day, which is why she went. And

then she was going to come over again on

Tuesday, but she didn't because she was

texting me and I was feeling really

depressed and I didn't text her much back.

And then she got mad at me for not

texting. And then she was like, oh, I

don't want to come over anymore. Because

you're not texting much. And then

the next day I said, I'm sorry, I was

feeling down. And then that triggered the

whole— she was like, oh well,

actually, I started resenting you because

you making videos on your other channel

and it's like you're not putting any

effort into getting away from YouTube.

And then I just said, I don't want to stop

doing YouTube. I love doing YouTube.

And I said, you know, it's not just

because of YouTube, you know, just because

I stopped doing YouTube, it's not like a

magic bullet that's going to fix

everything. We still had a fight even

without YouTube. And we had— most

of our fights were not because of YouTube.

It was because of texting. Texting is like

a big reason why we fight. I'm pretty sure

like 60% of the fights were because of

texting and me not— she hates it when I

don't compliment her. She keeps saying,

oh, I don't even remember the last time

you complimented me. I'm pretty sure I

said she looked nice on my birthday,

which When we went out, I'm pretty sure I

definitely said you look nice when we went

out for dinner. It's like she just

conveniently forgets, or maybe that was

too long ago so it doesn't count anymore,

or it wasn't a big enough compliment. I

just don't compliment people, okay? I

think complimenting people is stupid. I

hate it. Like when people compliment me,

I feel pissed. I'm like you like

condescending. Would you still not date a

fat girl? What about casual dating with no

expectations of becoming serious? I

imagine the cereal will be a bit of a

downgrade, but the personality would

probably be better. No, I don't just want

cereal. I want a relationship.

Don't you guys— why do you think all I

care about is cereal? I want love and

I want like a loving relationship where I

don't have to have secrets and the girl is

cool with what I do and we enjoy each

other's company and have great cereal.

And I thought Sunny was that girl. And

then she just changed over the last few

months. She changed so much. I don't even

recognize her anymore. I thought the

reason for all our problems in the

relationship was because of the distance,

the long distance. But ever since I moved

to Devon, we've had more fights than we've

ever had before in a shorter time span.

The last 4 months have been a nightmare,

fighting every single week or 2. At least

when I was in my mum's house, we only

fought every few months. Ever since I

moved here, we fought every few weeks.

So it just— it didn't fix it, did it? I

thought, oh, our only problems are the

texting and the distance. Okay, obviously

the distance was fixed and the texting.

Yeah, sometimes I feel down and I don't

want to talk and I'm distant and I don't

really feel chatty. Give me a break. Am I

not allowed to sometimes not feel very

chatty? All you care about is cereal

because you suck at loving. OMG, I just

complimented her looks. Girl, that's not

good enough. You need to get better at it

or accept that casual relationships are

better for you. No, girls need to stop

seeking validation from empty, shallow

compliments. It's like when Japanese

people constantly say, "Oh, Nihongo jōzu.

Oh, ryōri jōzu de ne." Shut up! I don't

want to be told jōzu,

jōzu, jōzu all the time. It's like you're

a dog. Oh, good boy! Oh wow, you can make

a sandwich! Wow! I gave birth. Get out of

hospital and your memory was wiped.

Missed your lives. Stay at home, mom. Now

need something mindless to listen to. I

don't know how anyone. Welcome back,

dude. Gets pleasure and satisfaction

from being pointlessly complimented

all the time without feeling patronized.

It's so patronizing. I hate it.

Oh, thanks, Meiji. You gave birth. Jesus.

Yeah, I'm back. I'm done bending

the knee. Yeah,

complimenting is stupid. I don't

understand why she gets mad because I

don't compliment her enough.

Like, I'm sure I've complimented her when

the time arises.

Like, um,

I mean, what even is there to compliment

her about apart from, you look nice?

Yeah, when she's put her makeup on, she's

dressed up, I say, you look nice. What's

wrong with that? But most of the time I

see her, she's wearing pajamas. So it's

not like there were a lot of times when I

could say, you look nice.

I mean, what else am I going to compliment

her on? Oh, her pancake-making skills.

Okay. I mean, pancakes were fine.

I just, I just don't get it. Like, what am

I supposed to compliment you about all the

time?

What's the point? Why do you need to be

constantly praised like a dog?

Oh, good girl. It's just cringe.

It's like stupid Japanese people saying

jōzu at you all the time. It's annoying.

I just don't get the complimenting thing.

You literally just showed how much you

suck at loving and empathy to me, ji. Oh

wow, you gave birth? Anyway, back to me.

I wonder how you would feel if a girl

acted like that to you. Maybe you would

like it, I dunno. I wouldn't care. It's

about the woman being seen fully. I don't

care if people compliment me. I don't, I

don't get any satisfaction or pleasure

from people complimenting me. Actually, I

don't like being complimented. I find it

condescending and patronizing. I don't

want to be complimented.

So she gets mad at me because my texts are

dry, but sometimes I will be very chatty.

That's because I'm in a good mood. If I'm

not very chatty, it's because I'm in a bad

mood. And maybe be supportive and then

don't start getting angry at me. So I

thought, Jesus Christ, I'm depressed and

down here and I'm not feeling very chatty.

And now you're getting mad at me. How

about being supportive and

just giving me some space? Because I'm

sure if I just sleep and go to bed and

next day I'll feel better. But no, she's

like, oh my god, you know, you're not

texting me enough. Yeah, because I feel

like shit thanks to you making me stop

doing YouTube. But no, I don't get

any support. I just— she starts getting

angry at me. Because I don't feel very

chatty. It's ridiculous.

Yeah, not all the time I want to chat and

text. Maybe I'm just like listening to

music and I'm relaxing and I, I don't

really feel in the mood to talk. And but

then she gets mad at me for it. It's

insane. You could have congratulated Meiji

for having a child. Asked a question or

something, but you made it extremely

obvious that you don't give a shit even

though she gave you money. That's why you

won't have healthy relationships. Why

don't you congratulate her? I said wow.

How's that not congratulatory?

And what am I supposed to ask? Like, did

it hurt? Or is he okay? I mean, obviously

the baby's fine. If the baby wasn't fine,

I'm pretty sure she wouldn't. Be on the

stream. She'd be crying or something.

Yeah. Remember we had that massive fight

before I moved in because I said, okay,

thanks. Because the texts were dry. So

it's got nothing to do with YouTube. The

fights have nothing to do with YouTube.

Making me stop doing YouTube is not going

to fix anything. It's just going to make

me more miserable. And then I lose respect

for you because I cannot respect a person

who would voluntarily delete

themselves off of the internet because you

are being bullied.

Where's your fighting spirit? Tell them to

fuck off. They're just random weirdos on

the internet. Why, why let them scare you

off? That's weak.

That's weak. I lost all

respect after that.

Like, I hate these YouTubers who get

cancelled and then they disappear. It's

pathetic. Remember that Brooke Houts girl

who spat on her dog and then she got

canceled and then she just vanished? I

thought, what are you doing? Just troll

them. I don't know.

Imagine letting people on the internet

bully you off the internet.

Weak sauce.

Like, it went against every fiber of my

being. To stop doing YouTube because of

bullies. Because like my entire ethos

is I'm not going anywhere. You can hate

me, you could bully me, I don't care. But

then Sunny made me do the thing that I

never wanted to do, which was give up.

No, I'm not giving up.

I'm not letting people push me around.

I'm not letting my mum push me around.

I'm not letting haters bully me off the

platform. No,

screw that.

Why are you so afraid of personal

interactions with strangers again?

Because it's awkward. Sometimes I knock on

the door and they answer and they look

scary. And they're rude, and then I feel

like, why do I bother?

Oh, thanks. When did you see Sunny last?

I saw her on Sunday. What was said? I

dropped her off on Mother's Day.

She said, see you on Tuesday, and then she

never came on Tuesday because she got mad

at me because my texts were dry. Maybe

because I was depressed and wasn't really

feeling up to texting.

I'm just fed up. I'm fed up all the

fighting. There will— there will never be

peace if I stayed with Sunny. There will

never be peace. It would always be

fighting every 2 weeks, no matter what I

do. If I quit YouTube, if I got a

full-time job, it would just never end.

There will never be any peace. All I want

is a peaceful, stable relationship where I

can do the things I love without fighting.

I will never have that with Sunny.

I realized that. I realized— I thought,

oh my God, even After Queer YouTube,

we're still fighting. What's the point?

We will never not fight. It will just be

like an eternity of fighting and headaches

over stupid things, like the dumbest,

stupidest things ever. Oh no, texts. Oh

no, lack of compliments. Who fucking

cares? If you want to talk, phone me.

If you want my attention, just phone and

we'll do a voice chat. I don't prioritize

texting. I hate texting.

So if you want to talk, just phone. Is

that so hard? Why, why doesn't she just

phone? Like, if she wants to talk so

badly, she never wants to phone. I just

don't get it. She did phone me once a

couple weeks ago because I fell asleep and

I wasn't replying to her.

Yeah, I got depressed not doing YouTube,

so I started going to bed at like 9 PM.

I feel like I should make a spreadsheet

for all of the fights and what caused

Heartguard.

It's just

I can't live a happy life like this. I

just want to If I were your girlfriend, I

would play copyrighted music in your

streams for the lulz. What would you do?

Well, then I just wouldn't stream with

you.

Simple.

Yeah, I think, um,

I feel, I feel like,

yeah, I feel mentally quite good about it

because I know that it just won't work.

And we tried, but it just doesn't work.

So there's no point begging for her to

come back because we just make each other

unhappy. So what's the point? I want

someone who can share my enjoyment of

doing YouTube,

or at least not make me stop doing it.

That's one of my biggest dreams, is I find

a girlfriend and we make content together.

And yeah, we're gonna get hate.

I'm a weird guy. Any girl who gets with me

is also gonna be probably a bit weird.

We're gonna get hate. That's just part of

it. But you just

got to accept it. Anything you do,

you're gonna get some kind of hate. Like,

you get a job, there's There's toxic

people at work. So is this the end with

Sunny? Also, when will all your videos be

back on the channel? When you drive to

work, there's toxic people on the road.

If you want to make money in this world,

you're gonna encounter toxic people no

matter what. They're gonna be toxic people

at the office, toxic people on the road.

You can't just be like, oh no, they're

being toxic to me and run away. It's

pathetic. You looked at my phone. Show me

your phone. And it not surprising me how

she try controlling you. You like dog who

needs a leash because you are bad person

and I am so glad for the divorce.

Goodbye. Is this the end with Sunny?

Yeah, probably. She doesn't have the

mental strength to date a YouTuber. She's

got no interest in, in making content

or being a YouTuber. She'd rather be a

normie wage slave, and I've got no

interest in that. I don't want to be a

full-time wage slave. I'll do part-time

work to make it meet ends, but I don't

want to be a full-time wage slave.

When will my videos come back? I'll

probably put them back to public tomorrow

afternoon. You looked at my

phone, show me your phone. What?

Oh God, imagine Chihiro looked at my

phone. It would have been hundreds of

nudes.

You're already a full-time wage slave?

No, I only work part-time,

and then I dedicate the rest of my day to

my passions like day trading and then

YouTube. Oh fuck, my Tesla short's getting

destroyed. Come on, Tesla, go down again.

Am I sorry I deleted spicy videos? I don't

really care. I honestly don't really look

at the Chihiro videos much, and they

might have gotten me in trouble again in

the future, so I guess it's for the best I

delete them. They weren't even that hot,

to be honest.

And then the Tomoko videos— I don't even—

why would I care about Tomoko videos?

I don't care at all. Yeah,

I'm kind of over that whole I want to film

serial face. I just don't

really care.

Yeah, I mean, I do feel good that I

deleted it all. It was kind of degen

keeping those videos, wasn't it? And then

it might have gotten me in trouble. At

some point in the future, so it's for the

best, I think. It's just so annoying that

we had that fight because of those videos.

If it wasn't for that, who knows? Like,

that fight triggered everything.

Those videos triggered the fight that

led to her demanding I stop doing it. Do

you really not eat pussy? Isn't that like

a really basic thing for women? Lol. Why

don't you do it? I don't like the taste of

it. It's got a weird taste, like slightly

sweet, but also bitter.

It's kind of like natto. And then it gets

really slimy. No, I don't like it.

Even if you wash it, it's not— it doesn't

have the taste and smell because it's

dirty. It has a taste and smell because

you get wet, and that's the taste and

smell of the wet. So if I'm licking it,

you're gonna get wet, aren't you? And then

you're just gonna get more wet. And even

if you like shower and wash it all away

and I start licking again, it's gonna get

wet again. So then it's gonna have the

same smell and taste, won't it?

I do like the smell. It's just when your

nose is right in it, it's too strong.

The smell's too strong.

I prefer the smell of ass.

It's less pungent and more earthy, kind of

like miso soup.

Also, it hurts my tongue. I got a short

tongue. Look. So if I try and stretch it

out, I end up, I end up tearing,

you know, like the web under your tongue.

There's a web, like connective tissue that

ends up scratching against my lower teeth

and then it hurts and then I get an ulcer

because I try extending my tongue and end

up scratching up the connective web under

my tongue and then it hurts.

How does your credit card debt drop to

zero? Um, yeah, I paid off the credit card

debt, but now I'm in overdraft by about

£1,600 because I also transferred money

for the rent, which I'm going to pay in a

few days. And then Yeah, Amazon credit

card kind of spikes. What about the C.I.T.

though? That probably tastes a bit better,

so you could have your nose like on her

belly or something. No, the whole area

smells very strong. I'm not saying it

smells bad. I'm just saying the intensity

of it is bit too much.

I like the smell. It's just not at that

level of intensity.

Have you ever let a girl sit on your face

before? Yeah, I like it when the girl sits

on my face and we do 69, but I

don't lick her, you know what, I lick the

I don't even know if girls like that. I

like doing it.

Glad you figured out what you want to do

with your life. Well, I've always known,

like, I've always known I want to be a

YouTuber and I want to make content.

It's just that, I don't

know, I guess I fell hard for Sunny and

it got to a point where I was willing to

do anything for her. But then I realized

that's just going to make me miserable.

I think— I don't think a girl should

ever try and make you stop doing the

things you love. And she should know what

you love doing. If she doesn't know, then

she just doesn't know you. I think it's

wrong because you're just— you're

gonna make me miserable, and then I won't

be happy with you. So what's the point?

You can't control people. You can't tell

them— you can't make people do what they

don't want to do. You can try, but they're

not going to be happy with it. That's why

everyone in communist countries are

miserable. Oh yeah,

Switch 2, isn't it coming out in June?

Still 2 months away. Do not buy Switch 2.

I mean, it does look pretty boring,

doesn't it? I watched Linus Tech Tips and

he was like, oh my God, the Joy-Cons have

slightly bigger buttons. Who cares?

Oh wow, they attach magnetically.

I never even used the Joy-Cons. I either

used the Pro Controller or I used it

connected to the actual screen. I never

detach the Joy-Con things.

Such a weird— why even bother making a

Switch 2? Oh,

thanks, Scott. What do you feel about

recovering G-drug addicts? Well, as long

as they're not gonna do it again. I do not

want to date someone who does that stuff.

If it was a long time ago, then okay,

because, you know, Meela did it before.

Even Sunny admitted she used to do it.

Lots of people have experimental phases,

but if you're like addicted to it and you

can't stop, then yeah, I don't really want

to get involved because, um, that stuff

scares me.

I want to be healthy and have a clean body

and try and make life decisions that don't

make me feel guilty and depressed.

But it's hard with all the temptations.

How many days until he starts crying

again? No, I'm not doing that anymore.

I'm done crying.

So what do we do?

She said she's coming over on Monday to

pick up her stuff. She said I could just

leave it outside,

so I put all her stuff in a bag. She

started moving stuff here, like

toiletries, makeup stuff, after we

got back together, thinking she was gonna

come. What drugs did Sunny and Mila do

before? Stuff like weed or actually like

meth and heroin? Also, if Sunny and

Chihiro did the fusion dance, would you

date that person or try to serial them or

avoid them? What is the fusion dance?

I think Mila did cocaine and

then she went to the hospital because she

had like a panic attack or something and

had to get her stomach pumped.

So yeah, this is the situation we're

looking at. I'm in roughly £5,000 of

credit card debt. Um,

with my job and my YouTube earnings, I

reckon I could clear £2,000

a month. My expenses are $1,450.

I could maybe save $500 a month and

I've got $4,500 in stocks.

So My

tenancy lease here ends in July,

but I can continue living here after the

agreement on a monthly basis. I don't want

to go back home to my mum because that

will just— we'll just end up fighting.

So yeah, what do I do?

Can I afford to go live in Asia again? I

could sell the car. That's like £8,000

probably. You said the drugs Mila did but

not Sunny. That means you're planning on

getting back with her, lol. Sorry, but

this is pathetic. That's probably why

you're not crying too. No, I'm not gonna

start leaking all her secrets just because

we broke up.

I want things to be mature and non-toxic.

I'm not going to, like, start bashing her.

All I will say is I think it's absolutely

ridiculous that she wants me to stop doing

YouTube because there are some

mean comments. That is absolute nonsense.

That is the only thing I'll say. But apart

from that, I would like things to remain

respectful since

she only lives 10 minutes away.

Like, if the comments are getting to you,

just don't look at them.

How about that? I think

she keeps checking the subreddit. She

definitely— when she got mad about my

second channel, it definitely seemed like

she was reading the subreddit and they

were twisting things like that. I bet you

anything this is what they were saying.

How do I put it into words? I bet they

were like rubbing it in her face saying,

oh, Daniel's still making videos on the

second channel. He gets his cake and eats

it. He's not respecting her wishes at

all. He's just doing it anyway. Like, I

can just imagine she went on the subreddit

and then got pissed at what they were

saying and then got mad at me. That's

exactly what I can imagine.

So she keeps reading the subreddit,

getting angry, and then blaming it on me,

and then thinks I have the power to stop

That's not how it works.

Yeah, I think she's like obsessed with the

subreddit.

My headcanon is now going to be that Sunny

is in meth psychosis and that is why she

is such a toxic bitch. LMAO, methy girl is

crazy.

No, she doesn't do meth.

Yep, I'm back. How long was I gone? Over 2