[2021-10-24] I Think I'm Gay [lk0DGsY4sNI]

Hello, it's me again. Look at

all this mess. Ah, we've got all these

boxes now.

My new toy. If you saw my last video,

it's there.

Who, who saw what I got? Not many

people have seen it. If you are my

OnlyFans, you'll see it. It was on my bed,

but I had to clean my bed. I'm not sure

where to keep it because it makes a

bit of a mess. I don't know why, but it

makes a bit of a mess when I have it on

the bed. There were these white stains all

over the bed, so I cleaned everything.

Now I'm thinking of just having it on the

sofa. But then won't the stains get on the

sofa? I can't clean the sofa very well.

Did I get a male doll? Yeah, it's a male.

It's got an 8-inch you know what.

But there's a big problem with it. It's

got a metal rod inside of the you you know

what, so it's stiff, which I thought was a

good idea. But then the tip of the metal

rod is piercing through the rubber,

and it's, um, yeah, it's made a hole, and

it pokes out the top of the you know what,

which is not very nice. You don't want to

put like an exposed metal tip up your

hole. You used it too many times? No, it

was like that when I opened it straight

away before even using it. You could see

the tip of the metal rod poking up against

the inside of the rubber, and it didn't

take much force to make it tear through.

So I tried repositioning the tip of the

rod so it's in the middle, but then it

ended up piercing through the middle of

the you-know-what.

So it's not a very good design really.

They put a pointy, um,

tapered end metal thing inside of soft,

fairly easily terrible rubber, and it's

not a good idea. I think they should have

made the you-know-what out of a different—

because they made the whole thing out of

the same type of rubber, which is kind of

soft and stretchy.

Oh, thank you, Teapot. Why don't you get

real men? Because I'm

not saying it wouldn't feel good, but

after you finish, then you're kind of

stuck with the company of a guy. And I'm

not attracted to guys at all. And I don't

really want to be stuck with one

afterwards. And then it's, you know, it's

kind of weird. I still feel like it's a

bit weird to actually do it with a guy.

I don't mind having a naked girl stay with

me, but a naked guy is just kind of weird.

So yeah, I bought a hacksaw.

It's in the package, and my plan is I'm

gonna try and saw off the tip of the metal

rod. I don't know how I can do it on

stream because obviously I can't show Is

it D-I-L-D-O? I don't really know why they

designed it that way and they didn't think

about it, because obviously the metal rod

is going to tear through, through the

rubber.

How could they have made a better design?

I think they should have made the Dildo

out of a different material so it didn't

need the metal rod, because you can get

normal ones DILDOS that don't have a metal

rod in it. It's just made out of harder

plastic that's still kind of flexible,

but it's not really soft. So it's a really

stupid design idea, really.

People saying I should have returned it.

I'm not, I'm not packing it all back up

into the box and then taking it to the

post office where I have to post it to.

Plus, I already used it. They're not going

to accept it back after I used it, and my

body is still aching from carrying it back

from the post office. Oh,

thanks, Kerry. Can't stay in mod this

week's been super busy. Ah, that's okay.

You can pop in when you can if you want

to. But yeah, carrying the thing from

the post office. Oh, it nearly destroyed

me. My muscles are still aching. My biceps

are aching. I had to take so many rests

because it takes about 15 minutes just to

walk there without the box. It probably

took me about 25 minutes with the box,

and I kept having to, to rest the box onto

those— you know, the side of the road,

they've got these metal poles. I had to

keep resting it on top of those. Thank God

those metal pole things were there. It was

a real pain having to put it down on the

floor and then pick it back up,

especially because my, my arthritis hip is

still painful even after a few weeks. So

it really was not a fun time carrying that

thing. I didn't want to have to carry all

the way back, and I really wanted— why

does the laptop turn itself on every time?

Stupid thing.

I don't

get it.

I, I press turn off and it keeps turning

itself back on. I didn't even touch it.

Stupidest thing.

Should stay off. What was I saying?

Um, yeah, maybe I'll leave a bad review

because it really makes it hard to

use. You can still get it up there, it's

just you got to angle it so the metal rod

goes in And once the metal rod is in,

then like the, the surrounding rubber—

because the tip is like lopsided now,

not— it's not centered around the metal

rod. Once the metal rod is in, the rubber

kind of follows it in with it, creating a

cushioning around the metal. And then it's

not really a problem, but still it's

really difficult to get it in, and it can

be a bit painful, and it's a bit scary.

I'm pointy bit of metal going up there,

and I kind of injured my anus as well,

so I had to take a break from using it.

Might not be able to make the OnlyFans

video until next week, so I'm feeling a

I don't know if I injured my anus from the

metal rod or because the dildo is

a bit thick. And it took quite a

lot of easing to, to get it in. I did

manage to get all the way up there and it

was pretty good, I have to say. I think

I managed to find how to hit the prostate,

which was quite satisfying. Damn, I hope

this livestream is not demonetized.

Should be fine.

Don't think they sent me a thing that

should get it demonetized. I should have

saved all this talk for a bit later.

How can I check?

I don't know, I just get very scared about

demonetization. I think things aren't as

bad as they used to. My latest video

is monetized. Even got a really good CPM.

I can't believe it. I got, I got a $16— I

mean, a $12 CPM, which means I'm gonna get

$6 per 1,000 views. And I, I made— wow,

someone's doing fireworks! Did you see

that? I've been doing fireworks now.

It's not even November. Um,

yeah, when I did the first full-sized Love

Doll in Japan. The whole video got

demonetized, and after review, they

wouldn't monetize it even though I

pixelated the whole thing. That's why I

deleted it. I really wish I didn't delete

it. So I was a bit worried that this one

would also get demonetized, but it's been

a few years since then. I think they've

relaxed their monetization strictness.

Um, what's that noise? So hopefully I can

make a good return on investment. I also

got about 15 new OnlyFans from that video

alone, so that's like $150 already. And

I'm hoping the video will make about $40,

so that's $200. I'm already halfway there

because the whole thing was about $400 in

total. Um, just need to make the OnlyFans

video and set it for like $25 each. I need

I think I need about 10 people to buy it

and then that'll cover the costs of the

whole thing. Then that's a good

investment, I think. Better than body

stonks. How many inches?

It's 8 inches and it's got a B-A-L-L

sack and an A-N-U-S. And I find

myself not using the A-N-U-S And

I just use the dildo because that feels

way better. What I'm thinking of doing now

is getting another one, um,

because then I could ride it and have like

the butt cheeks torso on top of the male

torso stomach. So it's like a love doll

threesome. That is something I'm

considering. I'm really upping my game

when it comes to self-love.

Having like a load of dismembered body

parts in there. Just imagine I

just leave all this stuff when I leave.

It's just like dismembered rubber body

parts. I'm too weak to get a full-size

one. I can't lift a 45 kg one.

I could get a head. You can get those

hairdresser heads on Amazon that they use

to to, um, practice hairdressing. I can

get shoulder and head, so it kind of has a

head. I need legs and arms next.

So yeah, the website I use is called

Lovehoney, and, um,

they, they don't really have a huge

selection. I think they've got butt

cheeks, female butt cheeks. I might get

that and put that on top of— I can make

like this Frankenstein love doll

monstrosity. It's like a male

torso with a dildo with a woman's

buttocks attached to its stomach.

That way you get fun

action from the backside and you get

somewhere to put your Johnson.

Because right now I'm rubbing the Johnson

on top of the male stomach in between

my stomach. That kind of works. It's

pretty good. Frankenstein love

doll monster. We need— we need a head.

Maybe I can get like a blank head and then

print out a picture of my ex and then put

her face on the head.

I'm getting too carried away with this.

Okay, let's open my hacksaw. We've got a

lot of hacking to do today.

And I had to get a new GoPro chest mount

as well because my one broke. You can't—

you won't believe it. I was carrying the

Go— I mean, the love doll on the way back,

filming it with the GoPro. And you know

the last scene when I put it down onto

that ledge? The stupid GoPro chest mount

clip snaps off and I couldn't get it

reattached. So that was good luck because

I managed to get all the filming done in

the post office before it broke. If this—

if the GoPro chest mount broke before I

got any of that footage done, that would

have been really annoying. So bit

annoying, had to get a new chest mount.

I've also got a new idea for the chest

mount. I could, to make the chest mount

GoPro less visible, I could cut a hole in

the shirt and put the shirt over the whole

chest mount harness and just have the

GoPro poking through the hole. What do you

think? So I'm gonna try that out as well.

Got lots of stuff to do today. Should be

a fun stream, not just— I like it when

I've got stuff to do during this stream.

I need to find more things to do,

otherwise I just get really bored.

Okay,

I, I really like, uh, how the, the picking

up of the love doll video went. I don't

even know if anyone noticed that I was

filming. It's really easy to film. I can't

film outside holding a camera, I just feel

too embarrassed, but When

it's on my chest and I'm not holding it,

I'm not drawing attention to the fact that

I'm filming. I could just say, oh yeah,

I'm wearing it because I'm going cycling

or whatever, or I'm wearing it for my own

personal safety because I got attacked,

which is true. Then they, they probably

won't really raise too many eyebrows at

it. So yeah,

I like the GoPro chest thing. I just wish

it was smaller. The GoPro is a bit

chunky. Oh, look at this!

So my plan is I want to try and saw off

the tip of the metal rod. That way,

when I'm guiding the plastic rubber— not

the plastic, the rubber tip— in, the metal

rod is not poking into my rectum. I don't

know if this is a good plan.

Because maybe without the metal rod,

it's going to be very hard to get in. I

don't know. Which GoPro am I using? I'm

using the GoPro 7. I know there's a GoPro

10 now. I can't believe there's been 3

iterations of the GoPro since I bought

mine. It's been an 8, a 9, and a 10. But I

don't see the point in getting a new GoPro

because they're always the same. The only

difference is Oh, it's slightly more

stable. Oh, they've got a front-facing

screen. I don't care, I don't want a

front-facing screen. I want a discreet,

um, GoPro that doesn't really stand out.

Don't want screens and lights flashing

everywhere.

I've never sawed through metal before, so

I don't know how hard this will be.

I never had a hacksaw before as well.

It's quite exciting. Wait, why is the

teeth on this side?

Shouldn't it be on this side?

If you saw the metal rod, it will leave a

sharp edge. Yeah, but if I saw the tip off

then the rest of the metal rod is gonna be

deep inside of the rubber.

Hmm, I don't know, what else could I

do to make it safer and easier?

Ow!

Very poor design. Yeah, they should have

just made the thing out of a different

type of rubber. Why is this sticker so

hard to get off?

We will have to carry out the operation on

Mr. Johnson.

I wish I could show it. It'd be so funny

if I just whipped out this rubber cock,

started sawing it off. So it sucks

I couldn't film any of the bit when me and

Chihiro were cutting up the full-size one.

It was so grotesque. We were like cutting

off the arms and the legs, putting into

plastic bags. We would

have made such— oh, it's Japanese. Chest

mount, chesto mount harness.

Ooh, why is it Japanese?

We got the plastic covering as well,

like Dexter with his plastic. Don't want

to make a mess.

Okay, so this is the

GoPro strap. Hopefully this one doesn't

snap off.

Wee— weepy.

I wonder where I could go next to film.

I don't just go to random places without

any real reason. I think the post office

one was a good idea.

Because then you get to see a little bit

of outside and interaction. I think that's

something I would like more of on the

channel. With my last one, this little

plastic bendy bit snapped off.

I don't know why.

How does it go in?

Why, why is this bit even detachable? Why

don't they just make it so this is

attached? Why would I want to take it off?

Okay, that just slides on. I don't know

how it snapped off on the other one. This

one looks more robust.

Okay.

Strap-on GoPro. Oh, there's all these

plastic clips on it.

Yeah, pretty good.

Where's my GoPro mount?

Look, there it is. This bit's still

attached to it.

What's all this banging going on outside?

Going on outside? See,

look, this bit The other side snapped off.

Rubbish cheap Chinese plastic.

I remember when you used to secretly film

people at the guest house. Yeah, I can't

believe I did that. This seems like such a

weird thing to do now. I used to sit in,

in the corner of the living room live

streaming and secretly filming people.

And I didn't think that was a bad thing

to do. I had such a weird way of thinking

back then. It's like I didn't realize

things I would— I was doing was bad or

not. And then I got told off, and then I

would get annoyed for getting told off.

What's this?

Looks like

a Japanese company.

Hmm, okay, so that's a GoPro. Check this

hacksaw. Um, why— can

someone tell me why the teeth are on this

side? And it's not very sharp unless

you're supposed to do it that way. I

thought you're supposed to do it like

that.

Flip the blade? How?

I can't unscrew it.

Oh,

how do you— what, do I have to take the

whole thing out?

You can turn the blade. It doesn't turn.

I think I have to take the whole thing

out.

Oh, fuck!

Well, I got it out. There you go.

Okay, that goes in there.

It's a stupid thing. Why didn't they just

put a plastic cover over the blade

To make things so difficult.

I can't hold it here at the same time.

Oh my God.

How does— this

is so fiddly.

Okay, I think I got it. Oh no,

I can't do it.

Okay, I got it, I got it.

Yes! Oh, why is it twisted?

Okay, I think that's pretty sturdy.

Give it a try.

Oh wow, that's really nice.

Look at that.

What can we do with this? It's like a

little house. We need a cat to go inside

of it.

You can do

DIY.

Nice.

What's that say? Looks German.

Presch.

Not very

good for paper.

Um.

I have to cut that box into tiny pieces,

I guess. I could take the whole box down

to reception, ask them to get rid of it

for me, but then I have to talk to

someone. Or I could cut it into tiny

pieces and put it down the rubbish chute.

Well, I got a chopping board now as well,

made it out of cardboard.

Look, did you see the label?

Realistic torso with dildo

and ass. My chopping board.

You don't need to cut the box. I have to

cut into tiny pieces so I can put it into

a bag. They tell you off if you put

cardboard. Here's the love doll.

How can you live in such a mess? It's

usually not this messy. It's just because

I got that new thing. And I haven't sorted

it out yet. It's a bit of a mess now.

Okay, what do we do?

How am I gonna do this? I can't show it.

Maybe I'll do a little bit of— what if you

can see it from here? No,

it's too risky. I feel like my body would

block the view.

I'll just point the camera this way and

then give it a bit of a saw, and then

I'll, I'll come back.

Oh my God, how am I going to do this?

It's so hard.

It's kind of working.

It's going to take a lot of sawing, but it

is making a dent into the metal thing,

so It's not impossible.

It's not impossible. I'll try a bit more.

Can you see in that reflection? Put it

I just got to be careful not to cut into.

The head of the Unoa.

I don't want to cut off the dick.

It keeps getting stuck.

Yeah, that's definitely, definitely

getting deeper. Oh, it's not actually that

difficult. I think I'm about almost a

quarter way through. So yeah, I'll do that

later. Oh, it's uncovered.

Otherwise it's gonna be a bit boring just

hearing me saw for like half an hour.

Yeah, I think that would work. I'm just

going to cut off a tiny bit of the tip. I

don't want to cut too much off because I'm

worried that without the metal rod it

would be very hard to get in.

Just have to make some alterations to—

what should we call it? How about Michael

Jimbo Jenkins? I'm not

gonna get a refund. They're not gonna

refund it to me. I've already CUM'd all

And then how am I— how am I going to send

it back to them? I have to pack it all up,

carry it all the way to the post office

again, and then get a new one, carry that

all the way here again. It nearly killed

me carrying the first one back. Not doing

that all over again.

Oh, I got these special Japanese

tempura. I might

make this tonight, see if it's any good,

or I might make chicken.

I'm not sure what to make.

The thing weighed 11 kg. I can lift it,

but lifting it for nearly half an hour

whilst walking on a painful hip joint

is not, not an easy task. You try holding

11 kg for nearly half an hour without

putting it down and then come back and

tell me, oh, it's only L 11 kg.

You're so weak. Well, let's see you try it

Bread in the fridge. Yeah, because if I

keep the bread out of the fridge, it goes

moldy. It doesn't go moldy anymore.

Yeah, I might make tempura,

but there's not much of it. It's only 12.

What else could I have with Tempura.

Use a travel case. Then I've got to buy a

travel case. What do you mean a travel

case?

A big, a big luggage with wheels.

They're hundreds of pounds.

We could get, you know that thing I got in

Japan, the little wheel trolley thing?

That was a good idea. I'd need that,

but it's embarrassing. I'm not going to

push that down the road.

I think they're doing construction down

there. Yeah, where those lights are,

they've been drilling and doing stuff.

Get the trolley thing from Japan. No, I

can't be bothered. I'm just going to saw

off the middle bit and then it'll be fine.

I'm not messing about sending it back and

getting a new one, getting a refund and

all this Bollocks.

Yeah, I bought a saw.

People are making fun of the way I say saw

because I— because I'm pretty sure English

people say saw as in S. It's the same way

S-O-R, S-O-A-R is pronounced, isn't it?

Saw, saw it. Where's my saw

gone? I lost my saw now. No, it's over

here, you know.

And a new— not— I already knew it, but I

kind of forgot it. But I was on the phone

to the Japanese girl and she was telling

me about how some Egyptian

exhibit is coming to Tokyo, and the main

attraction of the exhibit is a mummy. Do

you know how to say mummy in Japanese?

I can't believe it. The word for mummy in

Japanese is miira. I'm, I'm not kidding.

It literally is miira. M-I-I-R-A.

So for the whole conversation, she was

like, miira, miira, miira, miira. And I

was grinning thinking, should I tell her

my ex-girlfriend was called Miira? I

decided not to because it's kind of weird

to bring up. The whole conversation she

was like saying the word Mila every

I can't believe it. Why can't I— why can't

the universe let me forget about Mila? So

every bloody week something is reminding

me of her. Even talking to a Japanese

woman, why, why does the word for mummy

have to be Mila? Where's my Google

Translate?

Mummy, look.

Wait. Yeah, mira.

M-I-R-A.

And it's not mira, it's mira, elongated I.

So it's not even A little bit. It sounds

just like— see, so weird.

How did that happen?

Yeah, so if it was only one I, the

pronunciation in Japanese would be mira,

which would sound like milla, not like

mira. Very subtle difference if there's

just one less I. If there's one less I,

yeah, it'd be mira. But no, there has to

be another katakana i in the middle making

it mira. Bloody Japanese language.

Why do they use the word mira for mummy?

Where does that word come from?

Yeah, I nearly said it's funny because my

ex was called Mira, but I thought maybe

that's kind of weird. But it was nice that

she wanted to phone me again. Means maybe

she still likes me. It's just

kind of repetitive talking over and over

on the phone. And she's also— she recently

quit her job, so she's also just at home

all day, every day. So we phone and then

we're like, so what did you— what have you

been doing recently? And we both just say

nothing. We're just at home. I kind

of like it because I mean, she's also

unemployed and just at home all the time,

which makes me feel less insecure. Don't

you feel really insecure when you talk to

people and they're like, oh, I'm so busy

with my 5 jobs and my university class,

my volunteering, and I'm doing this and

that? I, I get really annoyed when I talk

to people and they've got so much going

on. I just feel more at ease when I'm

talking to someone else and they're also

Not really up to much, is at home watching

Netflix. And then they ask

you, so what have you been doing? And then

you feel really insecure because they've

been doing all this stuff, and then I've

just been at home playing video games. I

got to level 60 on New World,

so that's nice. Now I don't really know

what to do on New World.

I guess I could try and get my faction

points up so I can get some faction armor,

maybe level up my mining or skills.

I don't know, after you get to level 60,

it just kind of feels a little bit

Who is George? I don't

know, I don't think I've even mentioned

George. So I don't know what you're

talking about. I did laundry today, as you

can see. One pair of underwear because

I don't change. That's my laundry. Look,

I just got a couple socks and I did the

bed sheets. I barely have any clothes to

wash because I don't really have many

clothes and I just wear the same ones

every day. If I'm gonna

meet someone, I would wash the stuff.

That I want to wear the day before so it's

clean. But I don't really

see a point in changing your underwear

every day. I change my underwear maybe

once every 2 days or 3 days.

Now it's getting cold, I have to start

thinking about getting some new clothing.

I might go to Uniqlo, get a sweater, a

jumper, a big thick one. But it's

not really that cold in here. Maybe it's

because my computer is really hot and the

fans push out a lot of hot air. I don't

know how much that's heating up the room.

Do you think it's heating up the room

much? I reckon it is,

because when I wake up in the morning,

it's really cold, and then after about

half an hour with the computer on, with

the fans going, I do feel like it's a bit

warmer.

So much noise. Someone opening door

outside my room and there's all this

banging. What's going on?

Um, yeah, I also got my electric bill and

it was only £14. I can't believe it.

I didn't think electricity would be so

cheap, especially when I'm running a

gaming laptop all day long. I guess the

electric bill's not much when you live in

a tiny, tiny box.

Yeah, they're doing something down there

on the road. So my water bill is like £15,

and my electric bill for the last month

was £14. So my bills are only about £30,

and then my food is like £20 a week. So

that's £80. 8, that's £110.

£110 for the bills. How the

hell is it so cheap? I've always had this

impression that bills just are so

expensive. Maybe because

my mum keeps like freaking out about

bills. Oh no, you gotta pay the bills,

it's so expensive, I can't afford it

anymore. What the fuck are you going on

about? It's only bloody £15. Jesus Christ.

You ever feel like the reason why you're

so scared of everything in life is because

your parents would seem to freak out over

nothing? I swear it was like watching

my dad in life made

everything look so difficult when

in reality it's not. Life is not that

difficult. I don't know why he seemed to

make everything look so difficult. So I

grew up thinking, oh my God, how am I

going to survive? My parents struggle so

much. Where is the struggle? Oh my God,

it's like I've been— my brain has been

wired to think everything in life and the

whole world is such a struggle and

everything's so difficult.

You see people freaking out about stuff

and then it scares you, and then you do it

yourself and you realize, oh, is that it?

£14. Oh, food's only £80 a month. That's

nothing.

So yeah, I don't feel so scared anymore.

Story of my life. Everything seems scary

until you do it yourself, and then you

realize, oh wait, it's not actually that

scary. It's not actually that hard.

It's just other annoying people in your

life around you making everything look

hard.

Oh, shut up about my dad's inheritance.

As if £20,000 is gonna last for life,

and I lost half of it anyway

on stocks.

So, you know, even if he was going to—

even if you're going to say You wasted it.

You spent it on all this stuff. I didn't

even get to spend it or anything.

Literally half of it's gone on nothing. I

didn't even get anything for it. At least

I could have put that £10,000 and bought

something really nice. I didn't even get

anything for the £10,000 apart

from lots of stress over

Yeah, I never use the the inheritance.

Not inheritance, it's life insurance

payout. If I was gonna get inheritance,

it would be in the tune of hundreds of

thousands. Twenty thousand inheritance.

Who do you think I am? I'm Lord Daniel of

Castle Harrietsham, bitch. Twenty thousand

inheritance. I'm gonna inherit fucking one

million pound mansion. Suck on that.

Then Chihiro will be crawling back to me

when I'm king of the hill.

$20,000. I made $20,000

on OnlyFans in a year. I've made like

$30,000 on OnlyFans already.

In a year and a half. Yeah, a year

and a half. I made like £100,000

on YouTube. People think I got no money.

Make me sick.

Anyway, what was I saying?

Um, I've got to get rid of all this. I

think I'll just do this tomorrow. Be kind

of boring if I just cleaned up on the

Who saw that thing about Alec Baldwin

shooting someone? Jesus Christ, you think

your life is bad, at least you didn't go

to work and accidentally kill someone.

That must be so mentally devastating for

him. I can't even imagine it. He took

away someone's wife and friend or mother

or whatever she is.

Parents make lots of mistakes. They say

you don't get it, life's so hard, when it

really isn't. Yeah, it's annoying trying

to freak you out instead of, you know,

being the one who's supposed to show you

how to live life, how things are done,

they're freaking you out instead. And it's

like they're not encouraging you with

positivity and saying stuff like, you can

do it, you can learn, this is how you do

it. No, they're like doom and gloom,

trying to scare— I guess there's 2

different tactics. You can try and scare

the crap out of someone Well,

you better start learning because life's

not easy. Got to pay the bills. How are

you gonna pay the bills, Daniel? You need

to pay the bills. Bills, less money than

I spend on my sex toys.

Whole month of electricity,

£14. Pretty good. Yeah,

I don't understand these, um, accidents

they have with the prop guns. It's not

live ammunition, is it? They use a blank

and then something gets stuck in the

barrel and then shoots out from the blank.

I don't know. And then it kills people.

Happened to Bruce Lee's son as well. What

if someone secretly slips a live bullet

into the gun? Why? I don't understand how

a prop gun can actually kill someone. Why

can't they have a a better way of doing

this? Oh wow! Look, my oven clock says one

one one.

Wow! One one one seven, but still one one

one.

Um, yeah. Why don't they just get like a

BB gun? My gun looks pretty realistic.

And then CGI the, the flash on it.

Why did I have to use a real gun that can

actually kill people? So now he's— he

killed that Ukrainian film director woman,

and then he injured someone else as well.

How the hell? I don't get it.

I guess that movie's axed now. Can you

imagine they just carry on filming the

movie? The next week. Do you think that

movie's finished? No way they're gonna

continue making that movie. Alec Baldwin's

gonna need like therapy. He's gonna get

PTSD. He probably won't ever want to hold

a prop gun again.

He accidentally shot a live gun. What? I

don't know the details. People are saying

different things now. Some say it was

blank ammo, some saying they used live

ammo. What? They used live ammo? No,

they said there was accidentally live ammo

in— I don't know what the actual story is

now.

What if it was a murder and they can just

pretend it was an accident? Oh, we don't

know how that bullet got in there.

Whoops.

I wonder if I would feel guilty if I

accidentally killed someone. I think I

would, because I felt a bit guilty when I

killed my fish. I don't know,

I hope I would. Because then, you know,

if I would— if I didn't feel guilty, then

people would call me a psycho, wouldn't

Why, why would there be live ammo in the

prop gun? Stupid.

See, at least Star Wars, this doesn't

happen because it's all CGI.

Well, I don't know. Can you imagine all

the money they've invested to make that

movie, and the movie's probably not going

to be finished now? What a waste.

See, everything's a gamble. Even movie

directors gamble. They need all that money

to get all the actors and the gear to film

the movie, hoping to sell tickets, and

then the movie doesn't get finished or it

flops. So what, are people who make movies

also gamblers?

You always got to spend money to make

money, and then you might not make the

money. It's speculation, you know. Like,

I got the sex doll— I mean, the love doll—

um, hoping to make the money back from

sales on OnlyFans. But there's no

guarantee that I will make enough sales.

It's just from past experience, my

expectation is that I probably will make

enough money to cover the cost. I already

covered half the cost just from 15 new

signups from the new video, and I think

the video should bring in $50, maybe $40

to $50 ad revenue.

So I think I made $200 already, so I need

to make another $200, then I've broken

even. Then I basically get the thing for

free, which is nice. Plus I wanted it

anyway because I'm going to use it. It's

best when, um, you want the thing anyway

and the thing you want gets paid for by

YouTube, and then you basically get it for

free. Like New World, um, I made a video

about New World. I made like $150 from the

views and I wanted it anyway, so I ended

up getting it for free and made money off

it. So it's win-win. That's the best

kind of situation.

Okay, let me think about what to make for

dinner. What would go well with

the tempura?

No, I can't show it. It's too dangerous.

It's too explicit.

I might do some peppers.

I've still got some chili from yesterday,

but I'll have that tomorrow. My chili is

really good now.

I'm an expert at making chili.

And I got chicken Die again. I don't

really know what to get. I keep buying the

same stuff. The easiest thing to make is

just get a pack of minced beef,

get some vegetables, and just make chili

and have rice with it. And also just get a

load of chicken, season it up a bit, put

it in the oven. You can batch make a

whole, whole few days worth of

meals, and you Yeah, easy peasy.

I wish I had miso soup. They don't sell

miso soup at Aldi. I can't be bothered to

go to Wing Yip.

Maybe rice. I can't cook rice cuz I got

chili in the pot.

Um, I'll just have the tempura, whatever.

And I got these potato

letters. You can make words

out of it. 69p. This costs 69p.

Food's so cheap. My whole shopping was

£20, and that's because I got a load of

other stuff like toilet paper. I got

washing liquid.

And some

other non-food stuff. So without the

non-food stuff, it would have been way

cheaper. Oh yeah, coffee. I got a new

coffee, it's like £2.99. So without all

that stuff, it probably would have only

been £15 of food.

Food's cheap. I don't

know how those homeless people can't buy

food. How do you not have 69p? This costs

like £1 because they end up wasting all

the money on drugs, don't they? You give a

homeless guy money, he's not going to use

it to buy actual important

things. He'll just waste it on weed. Uh,

oh, what? Why is there garlic bread in my—

oh yeah, forgot about that.

Mm,

completely forgot I cooked garlic bread,

but I cooked too much of it, so I, I

didn't eat all of it.

I need to clean the oven as well. How

dirty it is.

Oh, look at that!

It's all brown.

I hate cleaning the oven.

I hate cleaning this grill because it

takes ages. You got to, you got to wipe

each individual rod one by one. You can't

just like wipe all of it all at the same

time because then it doesn't clean it

properly. What's this? It tastes

like chicken.

Oh, it tastes like chicken fat.

I'll clean it tomorrow.

Okay, how do I make this tempura?

Oh, I don't like that sound.

Incision. I hope

these taste good. How'd you make them?

Oven, 170 fan,

13-15 minutes.

It's got Lithopenus vannamei.

Is that the Latin for king prawn?

Lithopenus.

How do you pronounce that?

It says here, look.

Little Peanuts,

Vanamei,

42%.

You know, in the video, they— she wouldn't

let me buy the pork scratchings. She said

there was a red alert. I Googled it after

I got back, and they had to call back all

of the Mr. Porkies because some— someone

got salmonella. From it, and he was

hospitalized and he nearly died. I didn't

know you can get salmonella from pork

scratchings. I'm a bit scared now.

So they had to recall all of the products

and destroy them. What a waste. Give it to

me. I'll risk it.

I love pork scratchings. One another thing

they don't sell in Japan, pork

scratchings. I don't know why Japanese

people don't have pork scratchings, but

they're so delicious. I love it when it's

got a splash of vinegar.

Well, why didn't they take it off the

shelf then if it's a red alert? Why is it

still on display?

Pork scratching is, uh, pig Pig

skin and it's been oven roasted.

Oh, it's so good. Or sometimes they're air

fried as well and they're seasoned.

Delicious.

Making me hungry. I don't like it when you

get the big slab of fat under it. The fat

is horrible. I guess

in America you don't call them pork

scratchings.

It's scary, isn't it? You buy products

from a supermarket, you don't expect that

you might get salmonella from it.

It's also weird they don't have fish and

chips in Japan. They have tempura.

Which is pretty much the same as fish and

chips, just prawns instead of fish. But

Japanese people don't really eat fish and

chips. They do it for like a novelty

thing. One time at Family Mart,

they were selling little fish and chips in

plastic cups as like a special,

but it's not like a regular thing.

Okay, they're pretty small. This is not

really going to be a full dinner, is it?

Oh, whatever. They look tasty. How long

did it say? 13 minutes. Okay, set timer.

So that'll be 4, half past,

half past 7. Remind me.

So how have you been? Uh-huh.

Really? Wow.

Apart from

the love doll, I haven't really

been up to much else. What else can I do?

Do we have any other ideas?

Just been, you know, very interested in

SEX toys. They got a dildo— I mean,

a dildo that kind of pulsates.

It's like a handheld one, and then it kind

of pulsates backwards and forwards.

I might get that.

I've just like given up on the idea of

getting a girlfriend. I'm just gonna get

toys, I think. I just can't be bothered.

I matched a few people. The problem is my

skin. The number one problem now is my

skin is still bad. I have to wear a mask

when I go outside because it just looks

bad, and I don't even want to meet anyone.

Even if there was someone to meet, so I

don't know how long I've got to wait until

the skin clears up. It's been over a

month, and it still looks bad.

I don't know what to do. I got face wash,

I got exfoliator, I got acne treatment.

Don't know. I feel so ugly.

I never felt more ugly in my life.

I wouldn't even have the confidence to

kiss someone when my— it's like all around

my mouth, the pimples.

I don't know if it's because of my, my bad

mood, because I'm like depressed. I don't

know if it's because of that.

I just keep getting new ones, and it's

always like around the corner of my mouth

or on my upper lip, above the upper lip,

or next to my nose. I don't know why it's

so bad. It didn't used to be this bad.

I feel, you know, mentally I feel a bit

better. I've started to get used to my

new life of complete solitaire— solid—

what's the word? Solitude. My life of

solitude took a while to get used to,

but Yeah, I am starting to try and

give up on the idea of, you know,

letting the past go,

accepting I can't get a girlfriend,

just focus on my hobbies, things— focus on

things I enjoy doing.

The problem with trying to get a

girlfriend is I, I have to give up the

stuff I enjoy doing, like gaming. Or doing

porn. If I had a girlfriend, she doesn't

really want me to do that stuff.

So I have to make so many sacrifices in

order to get one. I just don't feel like

it's worth it anymore just

to have sex. But then it means you've

got a lonely life. It's pretty sad and

lonely life.

Get a girlfriend who likes the same stuff

as you. What, doing OnlyFans? And there's—

I've never met any girl who does what I

do. Name one girl who does what I do,

live streaming and porn,

and they're all in bloody America. All the

girls who might like me. I don't want

to go to America.

When I upload weird videos, I haven't

deleted them, I just set them to members

only, so you gotta pay for access.

Sorry about that, but I didn't want people

new people I meet to see that stuff.

It's just hard to explain, like, why do I

make these weird videos? Are they real?

Are they true? If they're not true, then

why am I making them? I don't know, I've

got a weird sense of humor. I think it's

funny to make a video about how I

destroyed my anus with my love doll. I

think that's funny, but a lot of people

don't. They don't get it.

They don't get the humor.

They just think it's weird and creepy and,

I don't know.

I hate all these little seeds in peppers.

I have a very immature sense of humor, I

guess. It's like I was playing New World

today and there's a boss in one of the

dungeons called Isabella. I kept seeing

people saying stuff like, looking for

tank, we are inside Isabella, and I

thought that was really funny, so I did

one of my own where I changed it to,

looking for tank, we are deep inside

Isabella. I laughed so much at my own

joke. I got a few laughs in the chat as

well.

I just think really crude sexual humor is

funny. Well, sorry if

that's immature, but you

can't choose what you find funny, can you?

It's like pedophilia.

You don't choose it, it chooses you.

You know, Mila kept— when I, when I tried

filming with Mila, she afterwards, she

kept saying, stop being weird, like she

was embarrassed of me. That felt bad.

It's,

it's funny how much she changed, cuz when

she first came over she was completely

okay with my weirdness and the vlogging.

Then after the situation happened,

she was like very unhappy with me filming

and very unhappy with me being weird or

doing weird stuff or acting weird.

Then I just didn't feel good.

I thought she liked me because I'm weird,

and then she ended up seeming like she

was embarrassed of me all the time.

I remember on Christmas Day I brought

my phone down. Usually she wouldn't let me

bring my phone down because I would end up

looking at it and she would think it's

rude. I brought my phone down on

Christmas, and because I get nervous in

social situations, I like to start

fiddling. I start fiddling with my phone.

So I was fiddling with my phone and I

thought, oh crap, I'm fiddling with my

phone, I should stop. And I slipped it up

my sleeve. So I was like hiding my phone

up my sleeve and she saw it and she told

me to stop doing it. It's like she would

tell me off all the time. It's annoying.

As if she doesn't do weird, annoying,

childish stuff. I don't know why she— it's

like she cared so much about what her

grandmother thinks. Who gives a fuck

if your grandmother thinks I'm weird

because I'm fiddling with my phone? All

bunch of weirdos anyway.

Very stressful. I don't know if you've

ever had dinner with your girlfriend's

family. It's so stressful. If you don't

put effort into making conversation, then