Recording
Desperate for friends
2016-06-13 · 3 min
Machine transcript · wording, timing and speaker attribution may be wrong
Wording, speaker labels, and timestamps can still be wrong. A transcript does not establish that statements in the recording are factual. Use the source links and surrounding context.
Source information & transcript revisions
Transcript revisions
- rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3Machine-generated and unreviewed; may be wrong; not a verified quotation.enraw_asractive80 segments
Transcript
So there's this guy at the guesthouse, a
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0:00–0:02 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_0Japanese middle-aged guy. He likes, he
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0:03–0:05 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_1likes to cook for people. He usually makes
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0:06–0:08 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_2things like pasta, spaghetti. Sometimes he
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0:08–0:10 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_3makes garlic bread and brings out a bottle
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0:11–0:13 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_4of white wine. He then starts bringing out
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0:13–0:16 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_5plates of food from the kitchen, and then
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0:16–0:18 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_6he starts handing it out to various people
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0:19–0:21 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_7in the living room. People he considers
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0:21–0:24 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_8friends, I guess. Okay, so what's wrong
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0:24–0:27 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_9with that? He sounds like a really nice
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0:27–0:28 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_10guy, doesn't he? The first time I met him
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0:28–0:31 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_11was about 5 years ago, and I've never
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0:31–0:33 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_12received not one piece of food from him.
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0:34–0:36 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_13Maybe I did something to annoy him? I
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0:36–0:39 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_14don't know. I've never really talked to
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0:39–0:41 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_15him before, and I don't really have any
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0:41–0:42 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_16interest in talking to him. I've said
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0:42–0:44 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_17hello a few times whilst passing him in
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0:44–0:47 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_18the hallway, but he never says hello to me
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0:47–0:49 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_19first, or he never initiates a
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0:50–0:52 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_20conversation with me. And I've never
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0:52–0:54 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_21really tried to have a conversation with
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0:55–0:56 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_22him before, so that may be why I don't get
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0:56–0:59 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_23any free food. I don't really care that
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0:59–1:01 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_24much about getting free food. It's not
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1:02–1:03 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_25like I'm sitting around waiting for
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1:03–1:05 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_26handouts. Huh, I could make better pasta
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1:05–1:07 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_27anyway. But it just makes me feel bad
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1:08–1:10 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_28sometimes when everyone around me is
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1:10–1:13 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_29getting really nice-looking food for free
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1:13–1:16 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_30and I get nothing. Oh, you're just
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1:17–1:19 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_31jealous. You're damn right I'm jealous.
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1:19–1:22 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_32You should see the stuff he makes. It
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1:22–1:23 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_33smells delicious and it looks amazing.
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1:24–1:26 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_34Actually, I did try something he made
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1:26–1:28 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_35once. He, he gave some soup to someone
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1:28–1:31 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_36and then that person let me taste it.
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1:32–1:34 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_37Maybe he felt sorry for me or something.
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1:34–1:36 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_38They say giving food is the best way to
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1:36–1:38 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_39make friends. If that's true, then this
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1:39–1:41 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_40guy must be the most popular dude in the
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1:41–1:43 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_41whole guesthouse. Seriously, sometimes he
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1:43–1:45 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_42has like 5 to 6 people gathered around him
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1:45–1:48 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_43all eating his food, and he's sitting
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1:48–1:50 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_44there sipping his wine looking all smug.
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1:50–1:52 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_45Look at me, I have friends. Ha ha ha.
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1:52–1:56 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_46They're not your real friends. They're
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1:56–1:58 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_47just hungry. He always looks so busy
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1:59–2:01 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_48rushing up and down to the kitchen, then
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2:01–2:03 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_49back into the living room, carrying
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2:03–2:05 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_50various plates and wine. It's like it's
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2:05–2:08 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_51like he's a waiter or something. Some
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2:09–2:10 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_52people might think he's generous, but to
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2:10–2:12 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_53me just reeks of desperation. You know how
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2:13–2:15 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_54sometimes you go to the park and there's
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2:15–2:17 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_55always this crazy old guy, and he has a
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2:17–2:20 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_56load of breadcrumbs, and he's surrounded
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2:20–2:21 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_57by a swarm of Hungry Hungry Pigeons just
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2:22–2:24 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_58so he doesn't have to feel so lonely.
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2:25–2:26 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_59Well, this guy kind of reminds me of that,
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2:26–2:29 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_60but instead of pigeons, there are young
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2:29–2:31 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_61hungry people, and instead of breadcrumbs,
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2:31–2:34 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_62there are plates and plates of delicious
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2:34–2:37 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_63looking food. Well, maybe if you were a
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2:38–2:40 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_64bit more friendly and tried talking to
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2:40–2:42 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_65him, then he'd give you some food as well.
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2:43–2:45 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_66Screw that, I'm not whoring myself out
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2:45–2:47 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_67just to get some free pasta, but it does
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2:47–2:49 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_68look pretty good. I don't really like
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2:49–2:52 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_69getting free food because once people
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2:52–2:54 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_70start giving you food, they start to
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2:54–2:56 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_71expect you to return the favor and give
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2:56–2:59 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_72them something back. And if you don't,
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2:59–3:01 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_73then they start thinking of you as a bit
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3:01–3:04 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_74of a dick. Oh, that Daniel, he's so
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3:04–3:06 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_75selfish. He gets all this free food and he
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3:06–3:09 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_76never gives anything back. Hey, you're the
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3:09–3:11 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_77one who gave it to me in the first place,
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3:11–3:12 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_78so piss off.
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3:12–3:13 · rev_7e335ea7ac4fa74d5eae5f6a0b5675c3_79