My Problem with the Single Mother Girlfriend [NDrPF8rmoVI]

4 years ago, I had an unexpected

experience with a Japanese lady. The

events that transpired between us almost

led me down a path towards becoming a

father, and this could have led to

life-changing consequences for the

individuals involved. This is the story of

the single mother girlfriend.

After the devastating double blow of

friend-zoning I experienced in Taiwan and

Japan in the previous year, I was feeling

increasingly frustrated and lonely with my

state of singlehood in the hopes of

recovering from those dark days. I took

solace in my old friend of wallowing in

self-pity. However, my insatiable desire

for love and companionship started to make

its return. After one whole year of

rejection and disappointment, I thought

now was the time to continue my search for

the perfect Japanese waifu. At the time,

I was employed at a petrol station working

night shifts. I thought having a job would

distract my mind and help me heal my

wounds. However, the monotony of working a

tedious, soul-sucking job every night only

made me long for romance and excitement

again. During those cold nights in the

small hours of the morning, I looked to

the stars and asked the universe, where is

she? Where is my special lady that I'm

destined to be with? And in that very

moment, a bright flash streaked across the

dark night sky. And so I took that as a

sign. To log back into japancupid.com.

Thanks to modern technology, I mass

messaged dozens of women at the click of a

button. A carefully crafted message in a

bottle. For whomever may receive it, I

leave that up to fate. A singular signal

sent out into that unending black void of

loneliness and despair. I waited patiently

for a hand to reach back, and after a few

days, my prayers were answered. I started

chatting to a 38-year-old Japanese woman.

We exchanged photographs, and I found her

physical appearance to be satisfactory,

and so I decided to ask her to be my

girlfriend, to which she said yes. We

talked endlessly for hours and hours, day

after day. I thought she was perfect. She

was everything I wanted. And then I

started to feel like this must be too good

to be true, and it was. There was one

catch. She had a 10-year-old daughter from

her previous relationship, and she was

looking for a boyfriend/substitute

father. My heart sank as I absorbed this

shocking revelation. My disappointment was

immeasurable, and my day had been ruined.

But then I kind of wondered to myself,

what would it be like to be a parent?

I've never experienced having a kid

before, and maybe this would be a good

opportunity. So I told her I still wanted

to meet, and I booked a 2-week paid

holiday from my work. When I told my

coworkers I was going to Japan to meet

this Japanese woman, they just laughed at

me. They couldn't believe that I would fly

all the way around the world just to meet

this person. But for me, this was pretty

normal. I was no stranger to hopping on a

plane in the search of love. So I decided

to book a hotel for 2 weeks nearby where

she lived. I packed my things and I got

ready to leave. When I landed in Japan,

she was waiting for me at the airport.

She was the first girlfriend I had who

could drive and had a car, and she picked

me up at the airport. It was kind of

awkward when we first met. I didn't really

feel very attracted to her, and the

conversations didn't really go very far.

We sat in the car in almost complete

silence as she drove us to the hotel I

booked for us. We stayed in Tokyo for a

few nights so we could get to know each

other more physically. After the few

nights in Tokyo, she drove us back to her

home prefecture. She lived in the

countryside of Japan, and I was quite

excited to go there because I had never

been outside of a city in Japan up until

that point. The countryside in Japan felt

kind of strange. It just felt very empty.

There was a sad and lonely atmosphere to

the place, something I wasn't used to in

Japan. First few days there were quite

nice. She stayed in the hotel with me

every night. She would come quite late

because she had to wait until her daughter

fell asleep, and then she would sneak out

of her house to come to my hotel. It felt

kind of exciting, as if we were doing

something naughty. And then the day I was

dreading came— the day that she wanted me

to meet her daughter for the first time.

And I wasn't sure if this was such a good

idea. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to

be in this relationship. I thought maybe

it would be a waste of time introducing me

to her daughter and forming some kind of

connection or bond if I wasn't planning on

sticking around around long-term, but the

wheels were set in motion and I couldn't

really do anything to pull out at that

point. We met at a restaurant and she

brought her daughter and everything was

fine. She was a nice girl, very innocent

and playful, and she seemed to like me.

One of my favorite memories was when we

went to this festival and we all held

hands and she was in the middle. And even

though she wasn't my daughter, I kind of

felt like I had a family. I could kind of

imagine what it'd be like to be a father

and to have children and have a wife. And

to be honest, it was very nice.

Unfortunately, the rose-tinted fantasy was

not to last. I experienced firsthand the

difficulties of parenting and how children

can go from being little bundles of joy to

absolute nightmares. One time we went to a

restaurant and everything was fine, and

then the daughter fell asleep in the car.

When we arrived at the restaurant, the

mother tried to wake her up, and after she

woke up, she was just in a terrible,

rotten mood. She was crying and screaming.

It was pretty awkward, and I didn't really

know what to do. I just stood there and

watched. Since I wasn't the real father,

I didn't really feel like I had any

authority over the daughter. I couldn't

really do anything like disciplining her,

and even if I could, I wouldn't even know

how to discipline. Things became even more

awkward when I couldn't really tell if the

daughter liked me sometimes. Sometimes I

felt like I was imposing and she wasn't

really comfortable with my presence. I

wasn't sure if she understood what was

going on between me and her mother. Maybe

she thought I was just a friend, I don't

know if she was old enough to understand

the dynamics of a relationship between a

man and a woman, and I wasn't sure if she

was noticing that her mother disappeared

in the night every day to come and see me.

Sometimes it was really fun. She would be

very playful and she would chase me and we

would do silly games together. Let's just

say it was kind of a mixed bag of ups and

downs, but— and I was starting to develop

attachments towards her and the mother,

and I was starting to feel like I had a

place where I belonged. I started getting

excited at the thought of having more

responsibility, doing things like

babysitting, looking after her, and making

food. The idea of another living being

being so dependent and reliant on me was

nice. It gave my existence a sense of

purpose and value, something I never

really felt before. Unfortunately, my time

in Japan was coming to an end. I had only

booked 2 weeks there. The petrol station

back in England were expecting me to come

back after 2 weeks, and I had to go back

home. I had to decide if I wanted to stay

in Japan and carry on seeing this woman

and lose my job at the petrol station, or

if I should go back home, go back to work,

and save up some more money. I decided to

go back home and go back to work because I

just didn't really see myself willing to

be in a long-term relationship with this

woman. The physical attraction just wasn't

really there, and the idea of having to

move to Japan and get a job in Japan to be

able to support my new family was a little

bit scary. After I went back home, we

talked on the phone for a bit. We talked

about meeting up again, but circumstances

changed and I ended up going back to Japan

to meet someone else. And even though it's

unfortunate things didn't quite work out

between us, I'm grateful for the

experience. Because of my chosen career

path and the kind of personality I have,

I think it's very unlikely that a woman

would even be willing to start a family

with me. And I've kind of given up on the

idea of having kids of my own and a family

of my own quite some time ago. Maybe some

point in the future when I've achieved the

necessary amount of maturity and financial

stability required, then maybe there might

be a woman out there willing to start a

family with me. But even then, I think

there might be a problem with my sperm

because I was with that single mother

girlfriend for 2 weeks And we did it

unprotected every night, and she still

didn't get pregnant. Well, I guess it's a

good thing because if my sperm was

effective, then I'd probably have a load

of kids all over the place in random

countries by now.