Happy June day what's up youtube

Hmm.

Okay.

First stream of the week— I mean, of the month. Oh, I can't believe we're at June. Half the year has gone.

I think my haircut looks pretty good.

Ow! Stupid thing.

I sat right on that metal thing. Went up my bum.

Asia is effed. Why? What happened to Asia?

Yeah, I've been chatting to a lot of Thai girls recently and they're all saying it's getting really bad in Thailand. They're all saying that I won't be able to even enter this year and they haven't even started doing vaccines or something. I don't know, they've only got one type of vaccine, the Chinese vaccine. They don't have the

stuff we have like Pfizer, AstraZeneca.

So yeah, Thailand and all of Asia just seem to be really sucking at the whole vaccine thing. Why is that?

England, we're supposedly doing the best for the vaccines. We have like half, at least half the population vaccinated now. Now we're doing 30s, over 30s. The hell is Asia doing? Get your game together.

Thailand's getting waves because of India. Yeah, I guess the Indian variant is gonna screw up everything now.

Oh,

but I thought David Bond was in Thailand. How is he in Thailand then?

I think we might as well just admit that 2021 might as well not exist for most of us. It's either just going to be not being able to do anything, stuck at home

Or some people are gonna go back to work, maybe. Depends really. My mum went back to work. The people who have jobs, they went back to work, I guess. So for them, might be back to normal.

But for us international world travelers, what are we gonna do?

I can get my vaccine now, but the vaccine centres that are available are a bit far away, so I'm waiting for one nearer by to open up. Then my mum can take me. The nearest one so far is in

Ashford and Canterbury, and that's like 15 miles away. It's like almost 40 minutes by car. I don't want to sit in the car 40 minutes with my mum. I want to wait until the one in Lenham opens up. That's just a 10-minute drive away. I also want to wait a bit to see if anyone dies. If people

start saying, oh, they're getting blood clots from the Pfizer one, then I might think about not rushing into getting it so quickly.

Should I vlog getting the vaccine with my mummy?

Wouldn't it just be a bit sad?

And then they can say, this is why you needed to learn to drive, in case there's going to be a pandemic and you need to get a vaccine.

Check my crypto. Oh my God, AMC going to the moon! Good job I closed most of my shorts. I got wrecked on AMC. So annoying. I made a lot of money shorting it, but I left the shorts open And then the next day it mooned, so I closed my shorts at the loss, opened new shorts at the

top, and I made a lot of money. But then I left it open again. Today I closed it and only made a tiny bit of money, but now I'm scared to leave my shorts open. Uh, I opened some buys today, so if it goes up I make money, but if it goes down

Uh, I won't make much money because I closed most of my shorts now.

What a boring day. Everything was just flat. Even AMC was like completely flat all day long.

AMC is like $35 right now.

There's all these people live streaming it, like this guy called Trey's Trade and this other guy called Matt, and they get insane viewer accounts when they do it. This Matt guy, he gets like 32,000 viewers and he's only got 200k subs, and he gets 32,000 viewers doing his AMC livestream. It's crazy. I thought about doing a livestream

too,

but I don't think I'd get 30,000 viewers. I'd get like 100 because people wouldn't be interested.

Am I still invested in crypto? Um, yeah, I trimmed a bit off yesterday because it was rallying, pumping.

So that's what I'm doing. I'm just— when it rallies, I trim a bit off, and then I wait for it to pull back, and then I buy it in again. Seems to be working.

Yeah, this is all my crypto. I've got $50 in Doge, I'm up 10%. I've got $1,100 in Bitcoin, I'm up 1.7%. I've got $600 in Ethereum, I'm up 6%. Pretty good.

Not too shabby.

I can't believe it's been a week since I streamed last. I don't know where the days are going. The days are just flying by like they're nothing.

What are your gains losses from crypto?

Um, I'm still down like £9,000 on my Bitcoin mining stocks, but they're going back up. Riot Blockchain pumped really hard today. It's back up to £30 now. I need it to get up to £45-ish to be able to break even, make my money back, and then I won't have lost all my money. Then I'll just be at

breaking even. So that's good news. If I can get £9,000, I need to make £9,000, and then I can say I didn't lose all my savings on stocks. I spent the whole year trying to regain, and now I've broken even, so I might as well not have done anything and have been better off.

It's so annoying. I gave myself a time frame of until November because that's been— that's when I started investing. And I thought, by November I'll divide it by 12 and see how much money I've made each month. And I calculated it to around— I was making like $3,000 a month at my previous gains. And now I'm— if

I calculate it now, I've made a loss. I've lost like $2,000 a month since November if I divide it by 12.

You're never gonna break even. I don't know, if Bitcoin pumps hard over summer, I might be able to. I reckon I can make back a couple, couple thousand back. I need BNGO to pump as well. That's dragging me down.

I think we'll get there, but basically the whole year is going to be wasted.

Hold on.

Yeah, the whole year financially, I wasted the whole year. I should have just— oh my God, I wish I could go back in time to February and just take all my money. I had about £12,000 in gains. That's like $15,000-$16,000. I could have just taken that and then put it into my travel fund, and that would have

just paid for my travels that I have planned. Or hoping to have planned.

But that's the problem with investing. You start getting loads of gains and you feel like you're some kind of genius, and instead of taking the money and locking it in, you think, no, it's going to go up more. If I take it out now, I'm just missing out on more gains. And then you wait and wait and

wait until eventually it crashes. And everything crashes eventually if you wait long enough. Every single stock or sector crashes. It doesn't matter what it is. There's nothing that hasn't crashed. There's no like super magic stock or sector that doesn't crash.

Use a managed fund. I have about $5,000 in copy trades, so that's like a managed fund, and they're actually the ones that are doing the best. I still have 20-30% gains in those because I'm not managing it.

So yeah, maybe I should have just put more money into the copy trades instead of trying to do it myself. I probably will when I save up more money. Instead of putting it into more stocks, I'll probably just put it into the copy trades, let them manage it.

My eToro copy trade, he made me $600 since last October.

So that's October to 8 months. In 8 months he made me $600. So that's like $75 a month he made me. That's so pants.

I don't know, it's not bad.

Uh, it's not bad considering I've only risked $3,000 and over 10 months— over 8 months, it's gotten me back $75 a month. That's if I sell it. I mean, I haven't sold it. I don't really want to sell it because I think this guy knows what he's doing. He seems pretty skilled.

Even though some people accuse him of being a scammer, which I don't agree with. He seems pretty legit.

Yeah, I might just put the majority of my money into copy trades and then just have fun with small amounts of money.

So I don't really trust myself anymore.

It's like now I'm up 10% on Doge. Do I take my $5 gain? Do I let it run? Is Doge overvalued?

It's at 35 cents now. It is pumping hard now. Look at Doge. Wow.

I only put 10— I only put $50 in it. I should have put $1,000.

I'm up 11% on Doge. That's $5.70 profit. $5 gain. Bitcoin.

On the whole dating front, um, nothing's happening. Uh, that, that black girl who— did I say she was black before? I might as well just say it now. She's— there were 2 black girls that I matched. In London, and I was supposed to be meeting them. And then I found out one of them's following me on Instagram.

I don't know if she followed me after she matched me, or she knew my channel and she's been following me before she matched me, or she only matched me because she follows me and she knows who I am and she thought it'd be funny to troll me. Or maybe she didn't know who I was and then did

like a reverse image search and found my Instagram. But she unmatched me. She's now not on my chat list, so fuck her. I mean,

that's not going anywhere. And then the other black girl, she didn't message me since that last livestream I did when I did the phone call, remember, on YouTube. So I guess she changed her mind.

Is the TikTok your account? No, it's me. I made a TikTok For fun. It's actually pretty fun. They've got all these fun filters. To her friend, and her friend— you know, people complain about me using a skin filter. Well, they're not gonna like my new filter. The girl I was supposed to be meeting on Tinder unmatched me

because she showed my picture to her friend, and her friend recognized me from my YouTube channel, and then she got freaked out. Some people are just so stupid.

I want to do more stuff like that. This is funny.

This is— I don't know, this is like a completely different way of making videos to YouTube. YouTube, you have to think of a clickbait title and you gotta plan it and you gotta edit it. TikTok is the same, but it's just all condensed down into a much, much shorter video. And you've got these funny filters and effects.

I put some of my old memes. Who remembers Daniel Senpai, that guy who used to make loads of memes about my channel back in 2018? I stole some of his memes. Remember this one?

This was funny.

And then there's also— remember this one?

This was my best Cooking with Ben.

Yeah,

somehow I've got 500, 600 views. Each one. Look, 580 views, 560, and I've only got 11 followers. It does seem like it's easier to get views. If I put that on YouTube on a fresh account without shouting out or anything, it would get no views. I'd check back like 2 months later and it'll have maybe 5 views.

It's so hard to get views on YouTube compared to TikTok. On TikTok, you can literally start a new account now and upload whatever, and you'd probably get a couple hundred views. Without anyone even knowing who you are. How much does it pay? I don't know. I heard there is a TikTok advertiser program, but you probably need like

5 million followers or something crazy.

Geez, YouTube not doing so well.

Yeah, her new video. Guess what I found out?

I don't know if I should say this or not.

So someone messaged me, showed me a screenshot. Apparently someone was buying her views.

I, I don't really know if that's funny or kind of depressing. Someone was buying her views. That's why one night she had 2K views and I woke up the next morning, 4 hours later, and And it suddenly doubled up to like 5K views.

There's no way that would have happened. I knew something was fishy. So I think the person didn't buy views for her new video, and 1K views is like the natural amount she would get. I just knew there was something weird. No way she'd get 5 or 6K views just from the subreddit and the Discord.

But yeah, someone messaged me with a screenshot of the guy saying, lol, I'm gonna buy Chihiro some views. I'm pretty sure she knows by now half her views are fake.

I don't know why I didn't consider that. I actually thought she was getting 5 or 6K views. I was like, what the hell? She didn't even put Hiding My Room in the title. I didn't shout her out. I mentioned her a few times in the stream. That's it.

Very weird. It's just funny.

It's not that expensive to buy views. It costs like $20 and then you can buy a couple thousand views, but such a waste of money. Guess who likes wasting money doing dumb stuff? He doesn't seem to be here tonight.

How are my shorts doing? I had to close most of them, which was a good idea because Jesus, AMC is pumping.

It's at $35 now. I closed most my shorts around $30.

I left 2 open around $36.

You can buy Instagram followers? I need 10K Instagram followers. I keep losing followers.

I guess now I'm not famous anymore. Well, I'm just bleeding followers. I was at 9,100 and now I'm at 8,829, and I need 10,000 followers to be able to link my videos.

So I don't know how I can get— maybe if I make a video specifically designed to try and shout out my Instagram. But I've already tried shouting out my Instagram before, and I feel like I've already got everyone on Instagram who's willing to join it. Seems like I've maxed out. I've peaked. That is my core fan base,

probably around 8,000 people.

I guess it's okay. It's not a really terrible number.

8,000-ish people, core fan base. But it's just going to get smaller and smaller from here on out because I'm just not making good stuff anymore.

Yeah, maybe I should just try and promote it more, but I don't feel like I'd get 1,200 followers. It's just so stupid you need 10,000 followers to link stuff.

Look, I put a new photo of my gains.

Looks quite good.

I do feel like my arm's getting bigger. I have been doing this for 6 months now.

Look, my arms are getting bigger.

Don't you think? I think there is a difference.

I think this is the longest I've gone working out without giving up. Last year I was into the working out thing and And then when I reunited with Mila, I kind of lost interest and I just gave up. I did try to do it. I was still doing push-ups in Rotterdam during the summer, but then when I

moved into her grandmother's house, the bedroom was so small and cramped I couldn't— there was not enough room to do it, and I just kind of gave up. And it was too hot anyway, and then I never got back into it. And then I started losing my gains bit by bit. I feel like that's what— that's one

of the reasons why she decided to dump me, is because I just kind of— my mentality and my mindset just became negative and I stagnated. And then girls dump you for that reason. It's really hit me recently that if you stagnate in life, your girl's probably gonna dump you. My, my sister dumped so many boyfriends because they

were depressed and they were just like sitting in their bedroom playing games.

And this always kind of triggered me, and I wasn't quite sure why. And I think I know now, because, because that's me. It's like me sitting in my bedroom not doing anything. It's so unattractive.

But it's, it's like a really big red flag for girls, and they'll just dump you. You can't become complacent. And I think I did after I moved into that Rotterdam apartment. I just kind of gave up and I became really negative, and I stopped trying to improve, and I just became really negative. And that's probably the main

reason she dumped me. I just know it.

So yeah, if you want a girl to dump you, then just stop trying to think of new ideas and just become complacent and just play games all day.

They love it.

I remember my sister had this boyfriend ages ago, and she seemed to really like him. And then after a couple months, she dumped him. She said because he was depressed and he didn't want— he had no ambition, he didn't want to do anything, and he was just staying at home all the time. I thought, wow, that poor

guy. But yeah, that is the struggle. It's also the same as the YouTube channel, that the struggle isn't getting the girlfriend. That's actually the easy part. This— the hardest part is keeping her. You've got to keep on rolling, improving, and trying to do new stuff. Otherwise they're going to dump you.

They'll find someone else who's like more ambitious, more driven, and then they'll start developing feelings because that's what women are instinctively attracted to.

Ah, life's tough. So you can't just achieve a level and then stay there. Oh my God, scared the crap out of me. Hey, are you married to Chase? No, unless she didn't divorce me and we've been secretly married this whole time.

Thank you, Kiki, very generous.

Yeah, life is a constant struggle.

You don't have proof you're divorced? No, I don't. All I have is her word that she divorced me. I don't know, actually, I think she sent me— no, no, no, no, no, she did send me a picture of the divorce paper. So yeah, it is real.

How's OnlyFans doing? Why do people keep asking that?

I've got about 70 followers now and I haven't uploaded in a month. I've got to upload something in June. I just don't know what.

Yeah, it's the same as the YouTube channel. So when I was doing new stuff and I was motivated and driven, people were interested and they were watching. And then now I've kind of stagnated again. I'm just in my room, I'm not doing anything new or interesting. People lost interest. It's the same thing with girls.

So I bet you anything, if I did something new like learning to drive, learning a new course, going on a new journey, people would be interested again. And then I would appear attractive again, and girls would probably start messaging me again. But then I get myself a place and I become stagnant again, and then they lose interest

again. It's nonstop.

You have to keep moving.

Your stagnation is the major cause of your depression. Yeah, I know. I felt way happier in my early 20s when I was really motivated to become good at Japanese. I wanted to move to Japan. I wanted to live there, and then I kind of achieved it, and I thought, well, this is good enough. I'll just play Rainbow

Six now. And then I just became really depressed because I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel like learning Japanese anymore. I already moved to Japan. What else was there to do?

The depression causes stagnation. Yeah, I wonder which way around it is.

I feel really depressed these days. I just don't know what to do.

I guess working out

is something I'm doing. It's something I can do without needing money or having to go somewhere or relying on some stupid algorithm to help my channel. It's just about willpower. I can do it in my bedroom and I can see visible results. So it is quite nice to do, I guess.

I feel so unmotivated to make videos. It's just— it doesn't feel rewarding. I don't know why YouTube does this. Why, why does YouTube have an algorithm that kills your channel, makes you less motivated? Wouldn't YouTube— wouldn't it be in YouTube's best interest to have motivated content creators where the algorithm doesn't kill their channel? I'd feel so much

more motivated if I didn't feel like my channel was being stepped on.

Why doesn't YouTube make the algorithm help beaten-down channels so we feel more motivated to create better videos? It's just, it, it doesn't make any sense. So many YouTubers probably gave up and quit because their channels are just not going anywhere,

and then they went to a different platform like TikTok or Twitch because they felt like, oh, YouTube's dead end, my channel's dead.

Why does YouTube not want to encourage its creators? I don't— it's just really weird. Have you seen Sam Pepper? Sam Pepper is huge on TikTok. I thought he just fell off. I wasn't really keeping up with him, but I never liked Sam Pepper. He was just really— seemed really low-class and sketchy. But I've been kind of impressed

with him recently. He seems to always know how to go viral and hop onto the next big thing. He was really big on TV ages ago. He was on Big Brother, and then he jumped onto YouTube. He became really big on YouTube, and then he got kind of canceled because of this sexual allegation stuff, and then he

kind of disappeared. And then he reappeared in Ice Poseidon's CX Network, and he was streaming with all the CX Network, and I was like, wow, how come he's in the CX Network now? And then he kind of got kicked out of it, and then he vanished again, and then he was on TikTok, and now he's all with

the FaZe Clan hanging out with RiceGum and stuff. The guy knows how to hustle. He gets like 20 million views on TikTok.

It's crazy. I wonder how much money he makes off TikTok. And his girlfriend's pretty cute. I mean, say what you want to say about the guy, but he looks like he's living his life and he does well.

Why are you moaning at me? Because I called him low class? Have you— have you heard his accent? He— his accent is like the lowest class in England out of the class system. He's covered in tattoos. He probably does drugs. He's not exactly middle class. He probably comes from a poor background.

Okay, Lolly, you want to get banned? My accent is way more articulate than Sam Pepper. Sam Pepper's like, oh, I saw my brother. We were sitting doing drugs in it. If you can't tell the difference between my accent and Sam Pepper's accent, you're either a stupid idiot or you're deaf or you have no idea about English accents.

Okay, just waiting for Lolly's name to reappear in chat. Okay, Lolly, there you are. You just couldn't keep your filthy mouth shut and now you're banned. So eat shit,

fuckface.

My accent is not really, really posh, but compared to the lower class, it's pretty posh sounding.

Compared to like truck drivers and lorry drivers and warehouse workers.

Anyway, yeah, I am pretty impressed with Sam Pepper.

He knows how to hustle. He knows how to, um, get in the spotlight, doesn't he?

Why are people getting upset because I called Sam Pepper low class? It's not an insult. It's like a description on the way he sounds.

He just sounds really, really uneducated. He's got a really irritating accent.

That I don't like.

That's one of the reasons I found him irritating.

I thought the accent was regional. Not really. Depends on, um, your family's background.

It's like Chris Broad's family and his father probably spoke in a completely different way Compared to my father.

There's all kinds of different accents in Kent. There's really posh ones and then there's less posh ones and then there's just normal ones and then there's kind of like lorry driver accents.

Did I get my accent from my family or was it from school? I don't know, probably my dad, and then probably a bit of my mum's accent's in there. That's why I say stuff like chicken, because that's how my mum pronounces it, so I just thought, oh, that's how you pronounce it, and then people kept saying, why

does he say chicken, chicken?

But then I started listening carefully to other people, and yeah, they do say chicken like chick-in, not chick-un. I thought it was like kitchen.

Chiro's channel is not getting popular. The majority of the views have been bought by guess who? The guy who always donates to me just to insult me.

He even admitted it.

You see the difference in views compared to her latest video compared to the 2 first ones? The first 2 ones probably had views bought for them.

Oh my God, what if they buy her subs too? I don't know if that's gonna screw her channel up.

If it does screw it up, that's really unfair that someone can pay to screw up someone's channel like that. I better not give them ideas.

It has a lot of comments. You look at the comments on the latest one, has about 100 comments. The other ones also have about 100 comments even though they've got 6 times the views. So how come they don't have 6 times the comments? It's because it's the same 100-ish people commenting. I'd say about 10% of the views—

of the viewers commented.

I wonder how many views she would have gotten without the purchase views,

because everyone knows that I'm— I would get annoyed if she gets loads of views. So they're buying her views. It's so obvious now.

Did I ghost the ladyboy? I didn't really talk to her anymore. She— I just said I've never tried it before, I want to try ladyboy sex, and then she said it's really good, and then that was it. I'm talking to different Thai girls now. I'm chatting to about 5 who seems to want to meet up. They're quite

cute, but the problem with Thailand is the same as Japan. I don't know when I can get in there. So what's the point of chatting someone, getting to know them, and then arranging to meet up? And we can't even meet up until like a year. By then we've probably forgotten each other.

How cheaply could I live in Thailand?

I'm not sure. I think you can get like a really nice condo hotel with swimming pool and stuff for about £600 or £700 a month.

Congratulations on your new TikTok career. TikTok's pretty addictive, isn't it?

You're just sitting there and you've got these cute girls dancing.

Why does she look like Mila? I swear I'm, I'm seeing Mila everywhere. I saw this one girl on TikTok, she looked just like Mila. It was so fucking weird.

But she had like a more hollow face, like a more refined face. But her hairstyle, brown with like the fringe. Her fashion style, exactly the same, like that hippie style. Facial features, very similar. This is creepy. I keep scrolling thinking, oh my God, what if Mina has a TikTok?

Well, who the hell's this guy? This is so creepy, this chewing thing. Is it real? He's trying to make his jaw look like that. It looks stupid.

What the hell is this? I don't know if I can play the songs. I hate this stupid song. Where they— looks like they're jerking something off in their hand.

Uh, disgusting.

Why is her arm so hairy?

Oh, I need to shit again. This bloody hule is making me shit all day. Then it comes out the same as it looks when you're drinking it.

Do you like my TikTok? So the girl I was supposed to be meeting on Tinder unmatched me because she showed my picture to her friend and her friend recognized me from my YouTube channel, and then she got freaked out. So stupid. I might do like— I might recreate some of my famous videos, like, oh my God, I

had a massive argument with my wife I said her shoes look stupid and then she kicked me out. I want to do like— I want to meme myself the kind of content I used to clickbait back then. I had a massive argument with my wife. I said her bum was small.

It's pretty funny. This is funny. That's what my content used to be and it used to get so many views back then, like 60k, 50k views.

So apparently fingered.

Yo, yeah, bro, listen to me. These are funny, the police ones. Treat me with respect. Yeah, I know the law. My sister's a High Court barrister. I'm not an idiot. Now let me finish. Let me finish. Yeah. I am not obliged under any obligation to give you my name or details. Let me tell you why. For one,

I have not been driving this vehicle. You have not seen me driving this vehicle. You pulled up and I was stationary. If I was driving under 165 of the Road Traffic Act, you can request my name and insurance documents or ask me to provide a driving license. Yes, correct. You have not seen me driving, so I'm therefore—

the policeman's getting roasted. There's loads of these channels where they stand outside a police station and they film it until a police officer comes out and then they start having an argument. It's quite entertaining. There seems to be a lot of stuff on TikTok that's very similar. Trend stuff. There's a lot of this moonwalk stuff and then

girls just doing silly dances to anime music. I like the police ones. When the police come out and they start questioning them, saying, why are you filming? You're not allowed to film here, when actually there's no law saying that you can't film a police station. You can perfectly film stuff like prisons and police stations because it's a

public building, but the police seem to think they have the power to tell you to stop filming.

Yeah, I quite like TikTok.

It's called Crime Bodge. Yeah, I found that channel ages ago and I feel like he started the whole thing, but now there's loads of channels that do the same thing, different people.

But I don't want to do this stupid dancing stuff, the music stuff, that's just lame.

I'm not sure what I want to do on it.

Yeah, I don't like the cute girls because it turns me on,

and then it makes me sad because it makes me want to have a cute girlfriend again.

It also makes me a bit depressed because you see all these good-looking people having fun and doing cool stuff, and then you're just sitting in your room With no friends and no girlfriends and no one cares about you. Ah, it's so depressing seeing people, like young people sitting in a field and they're laughing and hugging, having fun,

and you're just here all alone. And then you can't even meet people because they match you and then they find out about your bloody YouTube channel and then they get all freaked out.

Yeah, and I'm old. I feel like at this age, it's not really the age where you go hanging out in a park drinking beer, doing stupid stuff. It's like the age where you should be settled down by now, and you should have found a decent partner, and you're thinking about starting a family, a kind of age. My

dad started his family In about a year from now, he would be 33. And I just feel kind of bummed out because I didn't achieve any of that. Well, I nearly achieved it, and then I effed it up.

And now I feel like it's going to be harder than it was before because I'm older, less attractive. Less optimistic. And now I've got this stupid YouTube channel where even if I match girls on Tinder and we arrange to meet up, all it takes is one of their friends to recognize me, and then they search my channel.

And I don't know why they get so freaked out, because they see all the older videos and it's like really personal, private stuff, and they start worrying, oh, he's gonna make these videos about me too.

So what, I'm supposed to delete my whole YouTube channel?

I don't have to take down my videos. I'd lose so many views, and they still make money. It still makes like passive income.

Why can't they just see it as, as entertainment? Do people search up Filthy Frank and then look at his videos from 10 years ago and go, oh my God, he's wearing a pink suit and screaming. What if he does that when I'm with him too? That's so embarrassing.

They looked up your tax info on McLovin's server and about to report you. Oh, he's still going on about bloody tax.

Give it a break. Jesus.

Is it worth it to be so dependent on YouTube? Well, yeah, because I don't want to get a job.

Even if I got a job, and deleted my whole channel, people would still recognize me and they would still say— even if my channel was deleted, let's say I deleted it last week and I matched that girl, her friend would still recognize me. Just because I delete my channel doesn't erase everyone's memory. Her friend will still remember

me and remember my face, and then she'll go, oh my God, that guy used to be on YouTube. He used to have all these crazy videos. About cumming on his cousin's panties.

And then there's all these other channels who have reuploaded my videos. I can't, I can't just snap my fingers and get rid of it.

It's like they say, once it's on the internet, it's there forever.

And then what about Elvis Aidean? Am I gonna get him to get his videos down. All these other YouTubers made videos about me. Joinin, Deadwingdork, bunch of other people did too.

Yeah, yeah, I know the problem isn't doing YouTube, it's my content, but

I can't really take it back.

My whole channel became famous because of my arguments with my wife and the drama. That's what everyone knows me for. Everyone who— most the people who subbed to me subbed in 2018 during peak drama, and that was what my channel was known for. It was known for, for drama and cheating and weirdness.

Anyone who recognizes me would recognize me for that. Unless they found me a week ago or something.

It's like people are still going on and on about the cheating stuff, even though that happened 2 years ago now. 2 years ago I cheated and they're still saying, Daniel, you cheated. No one should ever want to be with you. Come on, that was 2 years ago now. How long are they going to go on and on

about it?

I didn't cheat all of 2020. I'm not going to cheat in 2021. Last time I cheated was when I got back to Japan after my dad died and I got a prostitute as soon as I landed and I filmed it. That was in July, I think, 2019 July. So yeah, it's coming up to about 2 years.

Sam did worse. I know, there's all these people who have done way worse. He got literally accused of sexual allegations and harassment

and all this other stuff. And all I did was I made some weird personal vlogs a couple years ago, and I cheated a couple times a couple years ago, and I told some weird stories that happened nearly 10 years ago, and then all of a sudden I'm like the worst person you could ever possibly come across on

the internet that you never want to have anything to do with.

I just feel like it's a bit unfair, the reaction I get.

There's way worse people out there. There was someone else who was really bad

that I was trying to remember. I can't remember now,

but yeah, I feel pretty fucked, to be honest.

You admitted he secretly filmed an escort. No, I just said I filmed it. I didn't say anything about secret.

I mean, look at Sam Pepper. Surely his girlfriend must know about his past and the allegations and the sketchy stuff he has been up to and his content that objectified and sexualized women. She was okay with all that. She must know about it.

Oh, stop going on about Bloody McLovin. I don't care.

Am I done with Japan? I don't know right now. I don't really know what I'm thinking.

I'm a bit stuck right now, to be honest, because no viewers are interested in meeting. I can't seem to match anyone. Well, I've matched nearly 100 girls in Thailand, but I don't know how many are prostitutes or ladyboys or just flakers. And then what if the same thing happens? What if someone in Thailand recognizes me or they

show their friend and their friend recognizes me,

and then they find my channel and they go, oh, you cheated 3 years ago.

It's like they think just because a guy cheated in the past, he's going to 100% cheat on me too. No, that's not how it works.

So I'm not really sure what to do. I guess I could go back to Japan and maybe I could get lucky and get some Tinder dates and maybe have sex a couple times, but where's it gonna lead to? After a couple months, I'd get bored and then just leave and go to a different country. And then is

that gonna be my life, just spending a couple months in random countries trying to get on Tinder dates and then getting bored and going to a different country. It just sounds a bit depressing, doesn't it?

Better than sitting at home. Yeah, I guess it might be.

But my channel just— it really doesn't help. It really, really just makes it more difficult.

Which video should I take down? If you were a girl and you found my channel, which videos would freak you out most. I've already taken down stuff like the chlamydia one and the cheating stuff. I took that down.

But the problem is the whole channel is really personal where I talk about everything, so they think, oh my god, he's gonna talk about us, he's gonna talk about me too if I'm— if I become his girlfriend.

So I have to just not talk about Girlfriends, I guess.

It doesn't help because I've got videos on every single girlfriend. Do I have to take everything down?

But those are my best stories, the ex-girlfriend stuff.

I feel like I definitely learned my lesson.

I wouldn't do that stuff again just because it, it really damages my chances. It ruins my chances.

The more I make videos ranting about how much I hate my ex-girlfriend and And just spilling all the personal details is just gonna repel any other women. I don't know why I didn't think of that before.

It was easy to get girls before the Turkish girl because none of that stuff happened yet and I had a kind of clean slate. It was after the Turkish girl I messed up big time by trash-talking her.

You got Mira without deleting anything. Yeah, that's true.

Even after Mira knew all about my past and Turkish girl and stuff like that, she still wanted to be with me.

Going to prostitutes talking about it in streams doesn't help either. Yeah, so it means I can't talk about anything fun. What am I supposed to talk about then?

How does David Bond do it? David Bond's channel is all about girls and massive tits and stuff, and he's got a pretty shady past as well.

But he always have— has cute girls in the videos.

Need to find out how David Bond does it.

David Bond was on the news in different Asian countries. He was on like the main news channel in Korea where they were warning everyone about him.

I'm pretty sure he's been circulated on Thai news about being a bad man, but he still gets girls all the time and gets them to appear on video.

He showed you in one of his vids. When? 4 years ago.

And then the other problem is, even if I get a girl, like I match a girl and we have sex, I can't talk about it. I can't make a video about it because then other girls will look at it and think, oh my God, if I have sex with him, he's going to make a whole video about

it. So I can't even make girls into content anymore, because if I keep making content out of girls, there's going to be no more girls left, because the content itself is going to repel them and scare them away. And then if I match someone, they see my channel and it's just girl, girl, girls, had sex, she dumped

me. They're not going to want to have anything to do with me.

So

I probably have to just keep my mouth shut about girls. I think I probably drove away all the girls I had in January because I keep going on about girls.

Even now I'm going on and on about girls. I can't stop myself.

Also, if I get a really hot girl, what's the point if I can't film her and brag about it and say, hey, look at this hot girl I banged?

I, I might as well just be banging a non-hot girl cuz no one would know.

Why does Cheshire's channel have more views than yours? Her content is— Stop saying she has more views than me. She doesn't. My last video got 9K views. Which one of her videos has 9K views?

Even my Video about Biomutant on my second channel got more views than her newest one. Content is boring.

Why does Cheshire's channel have more views than yours? Her content is boring.

Her coworker had 1,500 viewers. How'd you— you know her coworker's channel?

Jesus, no wonder she's so inspired to make videos now. She saw her coworker blow up.

But I don't know why she didn't feel inspired when she was with me. I kept telling her I was making like double the amount she was making from her 2 jobs. Remember, she had 2 jobs. She was, she was teaching English as a part-time job, and I was still making more than double she was making.

She said on Discord, if he gets 1,500 viewers, his channel must be pretty big.

It's probably in the couple hundred thousand sub range.

She taught English. Yeah, I thought that was funny as well, but she taught it to kids, so I guess it doesn't matter.

Yeah, my Biomutant video is not picking up on the search results. I think I was too late. The game came out a week ago. On Resident Evil, I, I made that video on the day it was released. I need to be faster. I didn't realize the game was, was like a trending game. I guess it's not that

trending. TBC just came out. Oh, I just missed another one. I could have played that. I keep missing these games.

I'm not in the loop with what's new and trending.

I see Asmongold's playing WoW and he's got like 80,000 viewers.

Oh my God, Asmongold's got 120,000 viewers. He's playing World of Warcraft.

Like, no shit, new expansion. I didn't even know there was a new expansion out. I'm so out of the loop when it comes to video game stuff now. I have no idea.

What's that? It's not the N-word, is it? Don't scare me.

But making that Biomutant video was such a pain. I had to buy the game, download it, which took 2 hours, actually play the game, and it was a shit game anyway. And then I had to export the video to my phone, do the voiceover, export it, upload it, and then request a refund.

Took all day to make it.

Such a pain in the backside.

So what's the next game that's coming out? I'm probably too late for World of Warcraft.

I saw Ninja Gaiden's coming out on Switch next week. I should play that, but then I have to buy it

and I can't refund on Switch. I don't actually want to buy these games because I won't play them.

I thought you made a ton of money on here.

Uh, I don't make a ton. I make more money on Twitch than I do on my second channel.

Is Cesium still around? I haven't heard of him. About him in ages, so I don't think so.

Okay, I'll be honest with you now, how much money I make— how much money I made in the last month. So YouTube main channel, I made about $900. And then second channel, I made about $250.

And then OnlyFans, let me check.

OnlyFans in May,

I made— wow, I made $740. I barely even did anything. I really should focus more on OnlyFans.

Jesus.

$700? I haven't even been checking it.

And then Twitch—

Twitch is a bit tricky to calculate because I get the PayPal donations, but then PayPal takes a cut.

PayPal takes quite a big cut, it's like 30%. So if someone donates $1, I only get about 65 cents.

So I'm not exactly sure how much.

It says, um,

about $300. Well, in total $740 in 2 months, so divide that by 2. It's probably a couple hundred dollars in donations on Twitch, and then plus Twitch subs and stuff, I get about $100 a month on Twitch.

So maybe $300 to $400 a month on Twitch. Let me do a calculation. So it's $900 plus $250 plus $740 plus— I say about $350 for Twitch.

What else do we have? Merch? No, I haven't sold any merch in ages.

I paid my mum £290 for June,

so that's about— how much is that?

$400.

I think that's reasonable.

Stocks are hard to calculate because one week I can be up thousands, and then the next week it'll drop hundreds, and then the next week it'll be back up hundreds. It's, it's really difficult to calculate. Plus I'm down in total, I'm still down like $9,000, so I can't really count the stocks until I'm back at breaking even.

Yeah, I haven't had any merch sales in like 2 months.

How's AMC short? I closed most my AMC shorts.

I think AMC could— oh my God, it's at 37. Oh, guess who bought some AMC shares before the close? They're gonna look tasty tomorrow.

Am I long or short? I'm long and short, so I've got a couple shorts open at $36. And I've got a couple longs open at $31.

So if it moons tomorrow, I could make maybe $50

from those.

The longs and shorts cancel each other out. Yeah, I guess so. But my tactic is, um, I'll make money off the longs when it's going up And then when it's at the top, I'll open more shorts and then ride it back down, and then I'll make my money back downwards.

That's my tactic. I'm waiting for it to spike up, and then I'll make money as it spikes up because I've got longs, and then I'll sell the longs, and then I'll open new shorts when it's like $45. Come on, AMC is not going to stay at $40 plus. It's way overvalued, so I'm going to open a bunch

of shorts at the top and wait for it to come back down.

Unless it moons to like 50, then I'm effed. I'm going to blow my account.

My YouTube channel is really suffering now cuz I'm not doing many live streams and I'm uploading about once every 2 weeks. I'm really struggling to upload because I have no idea what to make, and I don't want to upload just anything because it will get crap views.

I need to go travelling. I need a new girl, but then if I make videos about girls, then it just makes it harder to get the next girl. It's like, um, what's that word? Diminished returns, where you keep doing something damaging and it damages your chances for the next time. And since I don't seem to have any

luck in keeping any of these girls, I always end up losing them, uh, the next time I'm looking for a new girl, it's gonna be even harder because now there's gonna be new shit stains on the channel, like new girl drama content. That's gonna make it even harder. If I just stop doing the shit stain content, then

that makes me look bad, maybe after enough time passes, you know, I can just say, oh, that was just some silly stuff I made a couple years ago, and I can brush it off.

Yeah, maybe diminishing returns is not the right phrase. I don't know what the right phrase is.

You know, in— you know, like on World of Warcraft, when you die, And you're too lazy to run back to your corpse and you do resurrect and then your armor takes 20% damage or something. It's like that, maybe.

Yeah, making the content, I benefit from that in the short term, but in the long term I'm just ruining my, my image even more, making it even harder to find the next one.

So I'm not sure what else I could do for content. I need to make the girl content in a classy way, so I'm not allowed to say bad things about the girls, and there should be nothing about cheating, and I shouldn't rage at the girl if things don't go my ways. If it doesn't go my way, I

should do the whole, oh, we met but it didn't work out. We just didn't have much of an interest in common. I should just say that instead of saying she's so stupid and boring and she kept annoying me. I keep doing stuff like that that makes me look bad,

so I need to— I need to rethink my tactics.

But that's so annoying because that's what people want to watch. They want to see me have like a cringe incel rage. I remember when I met that German girl and I was just whining about her. People loved that. They got so many views, but it just ruins my chances for the next girl.

It's so difficult. I want to entertain my audience, but then I also don't want to ruin my chances with women.

It's just really tricky. I wish you could talk to Dr. K. I wonder what he would say.

I need to choose one. I need to choose one and then be happy with sacrificing the other. So if I choose girls, I have to sacrifice a large percentage of viewers because that's what they want to see. If I choose viewers and entertainment factor, then I have to sacrifice girls because they don't want to meet me anymore.

Do you see my dilemma?

I might have a beer.

My dilemma is very unique. Why do my viewers

How can I rant about girls without making myself seem repulsive? Very tricky.

San Miguel,

very famous beer.

I wish I could be like Harold Boulder, just make simple boring travel videos where I just walk around

get 100,000 views.

I just— I can't. It's so embarrassing walking around with a camera talking to yourself. I can do it in my bedroom when I'm by myself. That's easy. Doing it in public whilst talking to people is so difficult.

You gotta have massive balls to be able to do that. I've tried doing it and it's just— I shit myself from the nerves. I feel so dumb holding the camera up like this and trying to talk to someone.

Any girls I've been texting?

Yeah, I'm chatting to a couple girls. But it's, it's not really like a flirty thing. It's more like a friendly thing.

But they wouldn't want me to talk about them either.

You used to do it on your night streams. Only when there was no one around. If I was walking past someone, maybe I could do it.

'Cause you're only walking past them for a couple seconds.

I had more confidence back then. Now I just feel more— I feel more self-conscious than I used to.

How else can I make some money?

Where's my Doge?

Oh, my Doge is up 18%. Oh my God, should I sell it? I can make $9.

Wow, Doge is going— oh wow, Bitcoin is doing something weird.

Wow, Doge is at $37— I mean, 37 cents.

Doji woji. Why is Doge going— look at that.

Can you say Doge in Japanese style? I don't— how'd you— how would you even say it in Japanese?

Would it be like doge?

Doju?

So I watched, uh, Matt vs Japan livestream with George, and I feel kind of bad now because I said a lot of really horrible stuff about Matt. I keep doing this. He actually seems like a really nice guy, and his Japanese is fucking good.

Matt's Japanese is probably the best Japanese I've ever heard,

and I don't know why I said all this really horrible stuff about him before. I guess I was just insecure, and his earlier videos, he did seem a bit show-offy, but he's become a lot humbler, I guess the word would be.

His Japanese is so much better than mine. I wouldn't even have the confidence to speak in Japanese on a live stream like that. But yeah, his intonation is great

and he makes some pretty good points. George was pretty annoying in the live stream. He kept interrupting him. He would ask Matt a question and then Matt wouldn't even say 5 words and George was interrupting him. George was just non-stop interrupting me, like every 10 seconds.

What

were they saying? I forgot now. Oh yeah, George was saying he's been speaking Japanese for decades and no Japanese has ever brought up about pitch accent. But the thing is, when have you ever talked to a foreigner in English and you started nitpicking their accent? You'd never do that. That would just be such a dickhead thing to

do, wouldn't it? Imagine you, you get a doctor's appointment and your doctor's like Indian and they've got an Indian accent and then they're saying words in a funny pitch accent. You wouldn't start correcting them, would you? I bet you've got friends, foreigner friends, who've got an accent that you've known for years.

You're not gonna start telling them, by the way, you're not saying this word correctly. That would just be such a dick thing to do. So obviously

I don't think Japanese people would just start nitpicking your pitch accent unless you specifically ask them, like, what do you think of my accent? Then they might.

So I didn't really agree with George's thinking. George was saying no Japanese has ever brought it up, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist just because they don't bring it up.

But I don't really think it's that important. To have perfect accent. Yeah, it is impressive if you can do it and you do learn it. It's like if you met an Indian person that had a perfect British accent, it would be pretty cool,

but most of them don't. It's not really a big problem.

How much did you make from OnlyFans this month? I made $8 because it's only the first day of June.

Did you get my joke? I made a funny.

Wow, look at Doge, 38 cents now.

Oh, I've got 20% gains. Should I lock it in? Look at my crypto.

Stop asking how much I made from OnlyFans, I just told you.

His personality people don't like. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, if my personality was so great Mila wouldn't have dumped me, would she? If I had such a magnetic, charming personality that everyone wants to be around, I'd still be with Mila. She wouldn't have dumped me.

Yeah, I guess my personality is pretty shit. I can't really argue that anymore. I used to get all defensive and say, fuck you, my personality is fine, you're a dickhead.

I think I might as well just accept it.

I do have pretty shit personality,

and I can tone it down for a certain amount of time, but if you're with me for many, many months, my shit personality starts to leak out, especially when I'm stressed. When I'm stressed and depressed, my shit personality just comes out. And it's not nice to be around. You don't want to be around me when the laughter

stops.

I get very moody. I think you know that now.

You make people hate you so much. Ew, fuck you, idiot.

I don't owe you.

I'll be nice when I can, when I feel like it. I'm not a robot. I can't be nice all the time. Well, who do you think I am? Do you think I'm gonna be nice all the time, 100% of the time? I'm nice sometimes.

If people start attacking me, then yeah, I'm going to defend myself. That's the logical thing to do. I'm not going to be like, oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Oh no,

please don't judge me. No, I'm going to tell you to— first I'm going to tell you to fuck yourself,

and then I'm going to tell you where you can sling your hook,

and then I'm going to call your mother fat.

And if you don't like it,

not my problem.

Not my issue

who's attacking you. I said if, if I feel like I'm being attacked, I'll defend myself. I'm not going to start apologizing.

You don't have that balls to say someone's face. Yeah, well, I bet most people here don't have the balls to say what they say in the comment section to people in real life.

And no, I wouldn't say in real life because number one, I don't know you. You might be completely crazy.

I don't know what you're capable of. You might pull out a knife and stab me because you've got anger problems. I'm not going to start mouthing off at a stranger in real life because I don't want to put myself in danger. And I don't know if I'll be able to physically overpower you. Probably wouldn't be able to.

So yeah, it would be kind of stupid for me to say it to someone's face.

They might be completely nuts

and get triggered and then just pull out a knife.

And then if I hit them, then they can press charges against me. And then if they hit me, I'm gonna get hurt. So it's just kind of stupid unless you feel like really confident that you can overpower the other guy.

Why did your loyal fans turn on you for cheer? I don't know. I don't really feel like they're that loyal. I never saw them donate. When has any of them donated? Those loyal fans.

The haters donate more than the fans.

They're not loyal. They probably don't even watch my videos anymore anyway.

I mean, it's easy to like Chihiro because she wants people to like her. She even said herself, she said, um, she said it's my fault I made people like dislike me.

And then she said she wants people to like her because she wants to have a fan base.

She's trying to grow her channel. Of course she's not gonna make people dislike her.

Did your sister hold AMC? No, her friend convinced her to sell it when it was about $12. I, I sold mine at $16 and then I sold it at $14. But I bought it around $4. Oh my God, if I held it— I put about £4,000 when it was $4. I could have 10x'd my money. I could

have turned that into— oh my God, I could turn that into £40,000 if I held it from January. There's just no way I would have held it. That's 6 months. You're asking me to hold a stock for 6 months on the hopes that it's gonna have a short squeeze.

I could have $40,000 now. I could have turned that $4K into $40K.

So dumb. And then I put it all into Bitcoin stocks, which all crashed, and then crypto crashed.

Oh no, Doge is coming down. Should I sell my Doge? I'm gonna sell my Doge. No, I don't want to sell it. Ah, I don't know. I bought it at

32 cents. It's at 37 cents now.

It's only a $9 gain,

but $9 is still $9.

He's full of rage and throws it against us. I didn't. I was just explaining to you that if people attack me, I'm gonna defend myself,

and I'm not gonna be all apologetic about it.

I think it's a bit too late for, for the whole nice guy act. The mask already slipped.

If you want me to be nice, then you've got to be nice to me. That's how it works. The street flows two ways, my friend.

I'm not going to be not nice to people for no reason all of a sudden.

Oh, thank you, Fallen King. Very kind. Some people want to help you. Yeah, that's the problem. I've seen other channels similar to mine where people keep trying to give advice and then the YouTuber doesn't really take the advice. And then the commenter gets all upset because they— we didn't take your amazing advice, and then they get all

offended.

But we didn't ask for the advice in the first place. We're just venting our frustrations on camera. We don't have to take your advice if we don't think it's good advice.

I get hundreds of people trying to give me advice every bloody day, and they keep saying the dumbest things.

Like, you have to work on yourself, you should get therapy, you should learn to drive. As if I haven't heard these things nonstop for the last 5 years.

It just gets irritating.

You should invest in crypto. Yeah, and then I lost 50% of my investment.

Now Bitcoin's pumping.

Yes,

the main advice that has been useful was you should start OnlyFans. That was great advice. I'm really glad I listened to that. And you should sell merch was also a good bit of advice, which I ignored for too long. And then when I did do it, I did make about $1,000-ish.

I should make more, but I just can't be bothered.

You should make a TikTok. That was also good advice because I quite like TikTok now. I was very against it. I thought it was just stupid, but it's quite fun.

Look, my TikTok videos Get more views than Casey. Do you like my TikTok? So the girl I was supposed to be meeting on Tinder unmatched me because she showed my picture to her friend and her friend recognized me from my YouTube channel, and then she got freaked out. People are just so stupid.

Classic Daniel. So stupid,

stupid people.

Do you make money on TikTok? No,

I don't really know what the point of it is. I guess the hope is something goes viral, I get some kind of fan base on TikTok, and then I can link my YouTube or Instagram and get some new followers.

Well, I guess the ultimate dream would be you become big on TikTok and then you can monetize your stuff.

Yeah, I feel like TikTok is what YouTube used to be— people just making silly videos for fun. Now it's like TV. People are making these professional, highly edited pieces of work like Chris Broad.

The fun got sucked out of YouTube.

I don't know how you can get banned on TikTok. I don't know how strict it is.

YouTube was just— it used to be people just in their bedrooms talking to their camera about their hobbies and problems in life. Their interests, making dumb stuff.

And then it became like TV.

And then all the fun stuff started to get, um,

cancelled, like edgy stuff.

I can't believe I got a strike just for using a sausage as a penis, cutting it off, and then getting ketchup and pretending it was blood. I got a strike for violent content for that. That's so stupid. It's just a sausage. How's that violent?

I thought it was pretty funny,

but yeah, the whole

restrictiveness, the whole clamping down on violent stuff and dark, dark humor kind of killed my creativity

because you just get demonetized, you get strikes, or you get really bad CPM. Even my video with that illustration with the guy's chest blowing out, it made barely anything because the CPM was so bad. Because the, the image was pretty not very family friendly.

Oh yeah, I heard Ice Poseidon got a strike for his gambling streams, and then he got, he got it removed, but now he's not going to do gambling streams anymore, thank God. But it's kind of stupid he got a strike for that. I, I thought, I was wondering if YouTube would give you a strike for it, because

it seems kind of sketchy, like you're promoting gambling to people. It's like drinking loads and loads. I'm surprised Cold Ones doesn't get a strike because they get so drunk and they drink so much and they drink like 70% alcohol spirits. It just seems very irresponsible because they've got loads of kids watching.

Chad and Max Mofo, they've got millions of kids watching them glorify alcoholism, drinking 70% liquids and making it look cool. They must be influencing so many young kids into thinking drinking is cool and funny. It's pretty irresponsible.

I'm surprised they get away with it.

Maybe they get demonetized. That Nick the Smoker guy, his channel got banned too, and it only got reinstated because big YouTubers made a fuss about it. He was accused of promoting smoking.

Getting really drunk, I think that's against Twitch's rules. If you have like 20 beers and it seems to be damaging your health.

I'm drinking apple juice, it's not really

Beeru. You showed me cheating and buying pros is cool. Oh, prostitutes. Do you think I influenced any young people? I don't think so, because they see me and they think I'm a loser and they don't want to do it. I think I have a good influence on people because No one wants to be like me. They want

to not be like me. In fact, I get loads of comments from people saying stuff like, watching Daniel motivates me to study more because I don't want to end up like him. So you could say I have a good effect on my viewers. If it makes you motivated to study and improve yourself because you don't want to

become like me, then aren't I doing something good in the world? I could be helping thousands of people indirectly by showing them, you know, this is what's gonna happen to you if you just play games and you don't study. You're gonna be 32 living at your mum's house, no girlfriends or friends, drinking beer and getting insulted by

strangers in the comment section. If you want to live like that, then sure, follow my footsteps.

I probably motivated a lot of people like this. I should get some kind of award.

You're like a motivational speaker but backwards. Yeah.

Unmotivational. Yeah, I motivate people not with words of inspiration but by acts of degeneracy.

I'm a motivational influencer. I will influence you to do the opposite of what I'm doing.

Ethereum!

Is doing something.

Look at that, I'm gonna get rich tonight.

Yes,

look, I'm up 20% on Doge. Can you see?

It says 20%.

Oh yeah, do you know who I found recently? I already knew about him, but I never really checked out his channel until today. But he makes similar videos that I make, and he has similar hate comments, and he has a lot of dislikes. Guess who I'm talking about? So he makes videos where he's always whining about how

hard life is, how he has no money, how everything is so against him and the world is against him. And then his comments are just people getting really annoyed at him, trying to give him advice, and then he slings the advice back at them.

And it's been years and it just seems like he's, he's not going anywhere. And he's just whining all the time about how hard life is, and he doesn't really seem to be putting in enough effort to improve things and change things. And then his viewers, the dislikes are getting more and more,

and you can sense people are getting more and more irritated

in the same way my comments, my commenters, haters probably got more and more irritated because I keep whining all the time about this and that, and then I'm not doing anything. To make an effort to improve stuff. And then like 5 years later, my life is exactly the same

and I'm still whining.

And it just made me think, yeah, I guess it is kind of annoying watching someone like that just being negative all the time, complaining all the time about how much life sucks, and then they don't seem to really trying hard enough.

And I even checked the comment section, and a lot of the commenters are the same people in my comment section.

His name is Just James. He's this Irish guy, he's 33 years old, he lives in his mum's house, and he's— all his videos are just him whining all the time about how oppressed he is and how the system's broken.

He only makes £50 a month on YouTube. He showed his analytics and he only makes like £60. I don't get it. He should be making way more.

He has more subs and gets more views than my Chef Daniel channel. My Chef Daniel channel makes like £200 a month.

He has 30K subs and he gets about 4K views, between 2 and 4K views a video. But,

um, yeah, he also was complaining about how he lost loads of money on crypto and then he closed his Patreon because his viewers, uh, were attacking him for gambling with Patreon money. So he shut his Patreon down and he started saying he only makes £60 a month on YouTube.

He's— I think he's turning into a bit of a meme. He's heading in the direction that I've headed in.

Yeah, he is monetized. He showed his analytics and it said £60 in the last month.

And I've— I watched a couple of his videos and I thought, shit, this is why people don't like me. And this is like what I'm like, but at least he has a job and he's got a girlfriend apparently.

But yeah, he just seems really depressed and miserable. It's very unattractive.

Apparently he has some Italian girlfriend called Sarah. It sounds a bit fake.

Now I'm starting to think

about how I want to shape my, my image. Do I want to be like him? I mean, it's kind of sad, isn't it, watching a guy like that? I watched his videos and I just felt, wow, this guy

seems so sad.

But then he's just like me, isn't he? Living with his parents at 33, barely making much money, not much savings.

I think he's going in a better direction than I am. He still hasn't given up, I guess. I gave up a long time ago.

Does it embarrass you people think you're similar? A little bit.

I look at his channel and it's just like video after video after video of him whining, and I just— I wish my channel wasn't like that, but it is. It's just me whining all the time.

I wish I could make a fun, cool channel that's about something that's not me whining about girls,

but that seems to get the most views.

I wish people could click on my channel and go, oh, that's cool, that's interesting. But then you look at my channel and it's just, my life sucks, I lost everything, I regret this, I regret that, I'm so sad and lonely. It's just Kind of pathetic. I wish I could do something cool again, like moving to another country

and finding a woman and getting married. That was cool.

I need to get my boots on.

Maybe I'll go to Estonia or Poland.

Just wish I could do something impressive or cool and then make videos about it instead of just whining all the time.

I just don't know what to do. I thought, what about learning to drive? That seems kind of cool.

I don't know what kind of advice would I give to James.

He seems to be also kind of stuck living at his parents' house because it's probably comfortable.

And moving would just be so stressful and expensive.

I don't know. I mean, he already works, so you can't tell him to get a job.

I just think his, his mindset and attitude seems to be very—

seems negative.

But then I'm not one to talk, am I?

How do you not be negative? I don't know.

Because do all that meditation, mind training stuff, try and think positively.

How's the London girl? They both blocked me. I mean, one unmatched me, the other one ghosted me.

Those were the 2 black girls, and then the other 2 London girls, which are viewers, they also ghosted me. So the escape to London doesn't seem to be going to happen soon.

Maybe I'll just go anyway. Could book a week in a hotel, get some pee girls if all fails.

Fuck, my brain's out. Didn't you guys speak on the phone? We, we used to do video chats years ago,

and then I was with Mila, so I kind of stopped talking to her. And then after I broke up with Mila, I started talking to her again quite often. But then she just started to reply more and more slowly. And now she hasn't replied for like 2 weeks plus.

Didn't Mila give you a self-help book? She got me Art of War, Sun Tzu. I tried reading it. But it all just seemed like gobbledygook.

I didn't understand any of it.

Yeah, she wanted me to do self-improvement. Stuff with her, become a better person.

Wow, AMC is nearly $40.

Impressive.

I don't know about self-improvement. I don't find just reading a book about it very helpful. I need to feel inspired by someone. I need some, some positive role models.

Just James looks unhappy and negative. Yeah, I know. If I was a girl and I watched Just James

It's not that he's ugly, it's just he's got such a negative aura and energy

that I would feel kind of—

what's the word— I just wouldn't really feel very attracted to him.

Like, look at Casey Neistat. Casey Neistat, probably one of the ugliest men in the entire world. He's got a weird nose, funny tiny mouth, weird face, but he's got such a positive energy. He just— he's so attractive, Casey. Not in a physical way, but he's just got this energy that makes you feel good and makes you want

to be with him.

That's kind of what I wish I had.

So some people can be really ugly, like their faces can be weird, but they have such a great attitude and positivity, it just makes them attractive as a person.

But it's difficult to create that.

Just shows you that it's all about, um, your attitude and your mentality.

Like Andy Milonakis, he looks weird, but people like him because he's a fun guy to be around.

I'm probably such a boring person to be around.

It's really difficult to change that.

That's why I got bullied, because I was just not likable. If I was like a really nice, fun, funny guy who was likable and nice, I, I wouldn't have gotten bullied at school.

I don't know why my personality became like that. Because at primary school I was pretty popular. I had lots of friends. People thought I was funny. I was nice and fun to be around.

And then everything changed when I moved schools. It's like my whole personality changed for the worse.

I just— I didn't handle it well.

I felt like I was just plunged straight into this new school. I didn't know anyone. I felt intimidated by all of them.

And then when they started picking on me, I just hated all of them.

I didn't want to be their friends. I hated them.

But then at the end of school last year, I started lightening up and I made friends. I got bullied less, actually. I started to enjoy school. I enjoyed going to school and seeing my friends and playing football and stuff. And it was like everything was different.

Is this the Chris Broad School?

Kind of, yeah. Primary school. We went to the same primary school, and that was when I was like a normal kid and I had friends and I liked going to school. And then secondary school was when things started changing.

Ah, it's tricky. I just, I didn't have a good reaction to people's negativity.

I'm not sure how I could have done better. I guess I should have put more effort into making friends and—

I don't know.

The problem is I didn't put any effort into trying to make friends. And I ended up becoming a loner. And then everyone just thought I was weird and not nice because I looked sad and miserable all the time.

And they always made fun of me because I never talked. So they used to call me chatterbox or motor mouth because I never talked.

I was always just really quiet.

And that's kind of weird.

In Cornwallis, I had 2 secondary schools. My first one was Cornwallis. I loved it there because I had all my friends from my primary school.

We all moved to Cornwallis together, so I felt comfortable there.

And I never got bullied at Cornwallis, but then after a few months I had to change schools because my mum—

um,

the Cornwallis was located in the opposite direction of where my mum went to work, I think. So my dad moved me to a nearer school.

My dad kept saying he regrets moving me there.

I don't know,

maybe I could have gotten the bus to Cornwallis.

It was just a bit far out from our new house, and Swadlins is just 10 minutes away by bicycle, so it seemed to make more sense to just move Daniel to Swadlins.

Yeah, it can be very disruptive when you just move move a kid from a school to a different school.

It took me about 5 years to make a friendship group, and then by, by the time it happened, it was over, and then we were leaving school.

And then I moved to a new school when I was 16. I moved to Valley Park to do A-levels, and then I got addicted to World of Warcraft, and I didn't even last one year at Valley Park, and I didn't even make it. I wasn't bullied at Valley Park. Actually, I nearly beat up this little kid. I

never talked about this. I nearly— there was this really chavvy, mouthy, loud kid, and he really pissed me off because he reminded me of the kids that bullied me, and he was a couple years younger than me and he was smaller. I remember I pushed him. I just shoved him and he was like, what the fuck you

doing, mate? And I just walked off. It felt so good.

He was so irritating. He was some little kid who always got into detention and then he got kicked out of his own class and put into our class. And I remember I was walking out the door, walking past him, and I just shoved him like that. With my shoulder.

Oh, it felt so good, like I was getting revenge on all those kids that bullied me. Hated him. He's always swearing, mouthing off. Stupid little shit. He's probably bigger than me now.

He's probably like 6 foot tall, but he's got like 5 kids as well,

and he drives a car.

Yeah, one kid also tripped me up from behind at Valley Park. I remember that.

Stupid kids. I hate kids so much.

But then I got addicted to World of Warcraft, and then I got into anime, and then I just dropped out of A-levels when I was 17. Oh, I hated Valley Park so much. That was when I was really into My Chemical Romance. Well,

I would, as soon as class ended, I would run out and run to the train station whilst listening to My Chemical Romance, get on the train. I'd run home as well so I could play World of Warcraft. I was so obsessed with World of Warcraft. I couldn't wait to get home and just log in. And just lose

myself in the world of Warcraft.

And then I'd play it all day long.

Ah, such a long time ago now. 17 years ago.

No, I was 17 at the time, so that's 4, 5, 15 years ago.

Run home to level up my druid.

Good times.

And then I was addicted to World of Warcraft for 2 years. I, I refused to go back to school after the first year. And then I got addicted to anime and I just started learning Japanese and I went to Japan. The end.

And now here we are.

And all those kids I hated are now married, and they have their own kids, and they've got proper jobs, and they're happy.

And I get bullied on the internet for a living, and I show my anus on OnlyFans. Great.

Good job. I really showed them, didn't I?

At least most geeks and nerds, they get bullied and they can at least say, yeah, I got bullied and I was unpopular, but I built Facebook, or I built Microsoft. Well, I developed some cool app that millions of people love using now. I made a successful online business and I've got courses teaching— I can't even say that.

I make shit money on a dead YouTube channel and no one thinks well of me. They think I'm a loser.

Anyone who finds my channel doesn't want to have anything to do with me because they think I'm a weirdo.

Oh, fuck my life.

No girl even wants to be with me. Even Mila gave me like 3 chances and I blew every one.

I'll never find another Mila again.

Mila knew all the bad things about me and still wanted to be with me, and I still messed it up.

I'm so stupid.

You think a guy my age with all the dating experience I have, you think I would know by now.

How not to lose a girlfriend. It's like I've learned nothing. I've got 12 years of dating experience. I had hundreds of girlfriends, and then I finally find the one girl that I really, really liked. I genuinely liked, and I still fucked that up.

She was like once in a lifetime kind of girl that you meet.

And then I'm just worried that even if I do find someone better, I'm just going to fuck that up as well and then be miserable again.

She was a druggie. I don't care. I don't care if she was a Nazi racist homophobic serial killer. She was the best girl I ever met.

You know what I'm like. I don't usually form connections with people.

I find it very difficult to form genuine emotions for people. And then she was like the only girl that I developed real feelings for after 12 years of dating and hundreds of girls,

and I blew it.

I failed to make her feel like there was a connection. I felt like there was a connection. I felt more connected to her than I feel connected to my own family, but I failed to make her feel the same.

I don't know how I can make someone feel connected to me.

Do you think Chihiro felt like there was a connection?

Maybe even Chihiro didn't feel like there was a strong connection between us, like a bond.

I feel like Chihiro was more— because we were married, and in Asia marriage has more of a heavy weight to it, and Chihiro is like an older— from an older generation where marriage meant something, so she probably felt because we were married and that she felt like there was a sense of obligation.

I need some pee pee.

Hello, I'm back.

Okay, I'm starting to whine too much. Let's stop that. What's some good news?

Good news?

My tongue hurts.

Not sure why.

No good news. Crank out dumb gal— gals— dumb gal curls. I already did lots today. I did about 30, and I did some double-handed ones like this, and I did 2 sets of push-ups, so I think I'm good today.

But I still look so skinny. My rib cage— why is my rib cage all visible?

Bloody rib cage.

I hate my rib cage. You can see each bone.

Jesus.

But lifting is not going to get me muscles on my rib cage. Where'd you get the rib cage muscles?

Look, my arms are getting bigger. They still look really skinny.

Maybe after a year of doing this, maybe I should add some extra weights to my dumbbell.

I still feel really skinny.

How long is it gonna take?

I'm just gonna be skinny for the rest of my life. Even if I get really ripped, my frame is still gonna be small.

Ah, bloody Asian genes.

Need more protein,

but I already had 2 salmons. And I had about 600 calories of Huel, and then

there should be enough protein.

Maybe I'll get Huel Black next. That has extra protein, it has 40%. Why do people keep shitting on Huel? I don't get it. Even people I talk to, they keep saying, oh, you shouldn't get Huel.

Vegetable protein is not the same as animal protein.

Well, I'm sure there's vegan bodybuilders who use vegetable protein and they're ripped. And then the most muscular, the biggest animals in the world all eat grass. Elephants, rhinos, kangaroos. What do kangaroos eat? Have you seen kangaroos? They're bloody jacked.

I think kangaroos eat grass. What do kangaroos

eat?

Kangaroos eat grass and they're ripped.

The most muscular animals in the world eat vegetable. Vegetable matter.

Why are people saying Huel's shit? I like Huel. Tastes nice. It's got all the nutrients and vitamins. Why do people keep telling me that I should get something else?

It's annoying when you buy a product because you think it's good, or you buy a service, and then people keep telling you, oh, that's a scam, that's not good. Oh, you shouldn't have bought that, you're gonna get scammed. It's like when I signed up to eToro, people kept saying, oh, eToro is a scam, didn't you know it's

a scam? It's been a year now on eToro and I haven't been scammed. I put money in, I've tried taking money out, and the money got taken out fine, back in my bank account. I made the most money on eToro.

Why are people saying eToro is a scam? How, how do they scam people? I haven't been scammed.

I hate it when I sign up to a service because I think it's a good service and then people keep telling me it's a scam. It's not a fucking scam.

Huel contains soy? It doesn't. It has flax seeds and oats and peas. There's no soy in it.

So many people kept whining at me because I got Huel.

Some people even saying something about the Great Reset.

Stupid conspiracy theorists. Oh, this is what the elitists and the upper echelons want us to be living like. They want us trapped in our rooms eating

Soylent. I chose to buy it and I chose to eat it. It's not like I'm being forced into eating Huel.

Give it a rest with the bloody conspiracy stuff.

Oh, this is the plan. They're gonna get us all living on capsules and living in pods eating insects.

They want us eating bugs and living in pods. Yeah, that's what I just said. Jinx. It's the Great Reset. They're gonna plan us to live in pods plugged into a battery, living in fluids like The Matrix.

I like Huel. You go onto the Huel Instagram page and the comment section is just full of hate, people saying This is the shit they feed to chickens. This is like animal feed. What kind of sad losers want to eat powder instead of real food? Why is there so much hatred towards them? They're making a decent product,

I think. If they put shit in the product, they would get exposed. They would just need some kind of agency to, to to, um, scan, do like a biopsy of what's in it, and then they'd get exposed. They wouldn't like sneak in MSG or whatever. They get exposed so quickly and shut down.

You could get like a scientist to examine what's in it.

What would they put into Huel that's so bad?

I feel like it's a trustable, trustworthy company.

Has Sabrina gone back to London? No, she went on holiday to Europe.

Should be what I'm doing. I should just pack my bags and go to Europe. Meet some girl. Why am I just sitting in my room? I can go. She doesn't even have the vaccine.

I feel paranoid now. I keep thinking, oh, I can't go anywhere yet because I didn't get the vaccine. Oh, I can't get the vaccine yet because it's too far away. I'm waiting for a close one. I keep making excuses now. Oh, I can't go anywhere because no one wants to meet me.

Huel's terrible for muscle gain. Well, I'm sure it's better than a ham sandwich and a packet of crisps.

Why aren't I just getting on a plane and going to bloody Portugal or Spain or whatever? Why am I just sitting here?

I bet there's a Spanish girl who would meet me.

Load sandwiches with bacon. Yeah, but I don't want to get bacon cancer. Bacon's so bad for you.

What's stopping you? I got lazy. I'm in this really negative mindset right now. I'm finding it hard to break out of.

Does hule taste good? Yeah, it tastes okay. It just tastes like porridge, but if you make it with milk and you add sugar, it does taste really good, like a milkshake. And you can add anything. You could add bananas, you could add honey.

It's up to you.

I keep making excuses now, like, oh, I shouldn't go anywhere before getting the vaccine.

Uh, oh, I shouldn't go anywhere because no girls want to meet me and I'll just waste my money. I'd be sitting in a hotel in Estonia waiting for a girl to message me, and then no one would message me and I'd just get bored. And waste my money.

I actually feel kind of scared to leave the house now, to be honest. I've gone so comfortable here. The garden's so nice, it's so sunny. I could just go out in the garden, walk about in the nature.

I'm not paying thousands of pounds just to get hotels. I'm not all alone. I'm in my house. I feel comfortable. I'm finding it hard to feel motivated to leave.

That's what they do.

They make it so you don't want to leave. It's like they make, make it so comfortable, so convenient and nice. To the point where you think, oh, it's actually better if I stay, and then I'm trapped.

It is like a honey trap. So you have a honey trap and then insects get stuck in it, but it's safe and full of food, and leaving is more dangerous and risky.

How many push-ups can I do? Can do about 25.

I need water.

Now I can see why The Matrix was a thing. Can you imagine if you could choose to get plugged into a virtual reality where it's 100% convincing and you can live out all of your fantasies, but the trade-off is you you have to let your physical body be harvested for energy and you're just like floating in a

tank.

I would so choose the virtual reality where I'm like some kind of sex god.

I'm blue-pilled. Reality is too hard.

I'll be that guy in The Matrix who,

who betrays humanity and he spills all the beans to Mr. Anderson and he's eating his steak. Is this steak real? I know it's not real, but it tastes real, so who cares?

The sugar-coated illusion over the harsh, bitter reality.

Street food is cheap in Bangkok. I'd love to go to Bangkok and get a Thai wife, and then she cooks for me.

Maybe a Thai wife would be good for me,

and her dad owns a shop, and then he dies and we take it over.

Then she divorces me and takes the house.

I remember when me and Chihiro were getting divorced, I was worried that she would try and take the house or something. I was like, Mom, you should quickly make a will or else Chihiro is going to try and take the house.

What if me and Chihiro were still married and she lied about divorcing me, and then my mom dies, and then she— and then Chihiro claims the house and then kicks me out?

Try Korea again, but don't you have to pay $2,000 live in a hotel for 2 weeks.

Do I know who Oli London is? Yeah, he's that weirdo who got loads of plastic surgery to look like a K-pop star and he looks nothing like him.

What does he look like now? I watch PewDiePie react to him years ago.

I thought he was irrelevant. Now is he doing stuff again?

How much protein is in this beef jerky? 32 grams.

Is that lots or not?

Chihiro's friend is hot in the video. Did you see her?

Oh my God, I saw someone in the comment section.

I saw someone in the comment section of Chihiro's video. Who was the person I've been talking to for like a year and who suddenly, all of a sudden, ghosted me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I feel so betrayed.

You're right, people who are my fans are now turning against me and they like Chihiro. The hell? I was talking to this person for like a year. And I thought we were, you know, good friends. And now she doesn't even reply to me, and I see her in the comment section on Chihiro's videos.

Fucking people just ghost you for— and you don't even know why they ghosted you.

It might be over nothing, or it might be over something I can explain.

So annoying.

You treat your fans like poop. No, they treat me like poop. I was talking to her for a year plus, telling her intimate things, and we exchanged stories, and I thought we were like quite good terms. You know, all of a sudden she doesn't talk to me anymore, and I see her in Bloody to Hero's comments.

What did I say that was so bad?

Fucking annoying. I put all this energy and effort into fostering and maintaining that relationship with this person.

This is why I don't like making friends. You feel like you put all this effort and energy into building the relationship, and then they just ghost you and you don't even know why.

I told her all kinds of stuff, like when Mila first dumped me and I was having a mental breakdown. I talked to her all about this kind of stuff, and she was like the only person I talked to when me and Mila reunited, because I couldn't talk about it to anyone else. I only talked to her about

2 people. One of them was Cartoon Scientist, who betrayed me as well, leaked my screenshots.

I talked to 2 people about Mila coming to Germany at that time. I didn't talk to anyone else about it.

I don't know what I did wrong.

It hurts, you know. You think you made a friend and then they just do that.

I don't even know why Cartoon Scientist hates me.

Apparently she had a crush on cesium. And she got mad because I told Pia that she had a crush on Caesium.

All these people are bloody weird.

And then people say I'm the one who treats my fans bad. They all fucked me over. Fucking Caesium.

Leaking my screenshots, doing weird stuff, ghosting me.

Yeah, well, fuck them too. Idiots. Waste my time.

Useless.

That's why I hate making friends.

They always end up fucking you,

and then you feel like shit.

Who's this girl?

Shut up, slow down, for fuck's sake.

Look at her channel name, so bloody long.

Night satellite. What does she do?

She does stocks.

Please, I don't understand a word she's saying.

Wait, I got a donation. I need to play it. She's saying a lot of stock stuff. I don't really know stock stuff in Japanese.

I don't even know how to say stock market in Japanese.

Cartoon Scientist is cray cray. She was on CC in Discord talking shit about you for an hour. She sounded exactly like the Reddit saying you need to be stopped and all this weird stuff. I know, she's fucking nuts.

I feel so stupid I trusted her with all the Mila stuff. I talked to her Because I thought she was a nice person and I trusted her to talk to her about Mila back when I was in Germany.

She's nuts. She's got like bipolar or something. Now she thinks I'm evil. I don't know why all of a sudden she hates me. She's the worst person I could have chose to confide in. I only— I picked a couple of girls I was chatting to in DMs who I thought were nice. And were into like the spirituality

twin flame stuff, so I could talk to someone about Mila without having to like livestream and make myself look like an idiot. And then all of a sudden she turns out to be completely nuts as well, and she's like hating on me now.

I don't even know why, to be honest.

Another nut job.

Ah, I

guess she is someone. Look

at that paper printout. So Japanese.

So any, any American YouTuber would have just screenshot the page. This is so Japanese. You would— why don't you just screenshot it and then put the image on like a video editor thing? But in Japan they don't do that stuff. Even on the news in Japan, they'll use a cardboard cutout instead of just having like an overlay.

And then people keep saying Japan's so high-tech. Japan is like the most low-tech, high-tech country in the world. She printed it out on a piece of paper.

Yeah, my Japanese is nowhere near good enough to be able to understand that.

To be honest, I barely understand it when it's in English, the stock market stuff.

I wonder how you even say all that stock market lingo, like consolidating, upward trend, bullish reversal. Japanese must have their own words for it.

Bear flag, bull flag.

But look at all the effort she goes into making videos and she doesn't even get 1K views. Look at the views she gets, like 700 views, 500 views.

50— she's got a total of 58,000 views and she's been doing this for— well, she's only been doing it for 4 months.

Not bad, actually.

I was definitely not getting these views after 4 months. After 4 months, I was getting like 10, 10 views maybe. 20 views.

I don't

even know what that means.

Japanese average.

What does that mean? ¥27,000.

Nikkei is the index, like S&P 500. Ah,

I have no idea about Japanese stocks.

I can't believe she prints it out on a piece of paper. Just screenshot it and overlay it.

Japanese crack me up. Her channel name is like this really long Japanese sentence. Here, maybe you just type Night Satellite.

Every day

transmitting everyday stocks

stock resource. I don't know, it's like the worst channel name. It's just like a sentence.

I don't know how you search that in English. It probably wouldn't come up. You'd have to search in Japanese.

It's funny finding these random channels. Oh, this person's live streaming.

Japanese people watching stocks.

I wonder what they say.

They've got 98 people watching.

What should I type? Hello, I'm looking for Japanese girlfriend.

Look,

wait, let me zoom in.

There's 102 people. What's the channel name?

I can't read that first 2.

Mayumi. Sukina Mayumi. I don't know what that means.

I'm looking for Japanese girlfriend.

What are they saying?

Boring. Boring.

Your bacon tastes like ass.

No one's watching it. There's 95 people. Why aren't they replying? Stupid boring people.

Maybe if I type in Japanese.

I got ignored. Boring.

Trim your fingernails? What's wrong with my fingernail?

This one's got 200 people.

Hello, I am looking for Japanese girlfriend.

Is he going to read it? What's he doing?

What's this channel name?

Kabushiki Gaisha Heroes. What? He's got 700 subs and he's got more viewers than me? The fuck?

7— doesn't even have 700 subs. He's got more viewers than I get.

How the fuck?

Doesn't even have 1,000 subscribers.

He read it.

I said they could read it out.

Okay, let me read it again.

When did he say that?

He translates it into Japanese.

Oh wait, who's doing that? Who's pretending to be me?

When did he read it?

I think in my look, I don't know, looking forward Japanese girl. He said, what does that mean? He just said, what does that mean? Who's pretending to be me?

Who's that? That's not me.

Said I can't read English.

Who's that? Stop pretending to be me.

What the hell is he doing? He's writing numbers.

Oh, that was funny. I got such an adrenaline rush from that.

I don't know why I get so pumped from getting noticed. Who else do they have?

300 people watching this one.

What? He's got 14K subs and he gets more viewers than I do.

There's 300 people watching this and there's nothing happening.

The hell's that noise?

I like Japanese

sausage.

There's nearly 400 people watching this.

The hell is it?

A boat race. Oh, it's a boat race, it says at the top.

Boring. I

want to find a Japanese live streamer who's like a vlogger.

Who's this?

Oh, that's me.

Oh, it's that same guy pretending to be me.

Asian Andy.

Hmm, well, who's a small Japanese girl who's streaming who just has like a couple hundred viewers? We can troll her.

I feel like trolling someone. Nihonjin Honda livestream.

Don't know, don't know who's who.

Look at Twitch, just chatting. Okay, good idea. I'll search Japanese girl.

Japanese girl.

What?

Oh, what? Sora the troll is on Twitch. Look, Sora the Japanese. He's Doesn't even have 1K followers.

Can't believe that guy's at 700K subs. He's going to get to a million subs easy. I can't believe it. He was just some cringeville channel with 900 subs and now he's got 700K. Disgusting.

Disgusting. There's this one girl I follow, not Ginny. Ginny is a bit boring. Oh, that's— wait, can I show her? Yeah, I can. It's Twitch. Ice Poseidon's Girlfriend.

She's got 1,700. She gets more viewers than Ice. That must be weird. I'm sorry, it kept effing and lighting up. Do you think she's good looking? I'm so bad at skateboarding. How do I get good? You can teach me. I think she looks nice.

She's got a nice bum.

Don't tell Ice.

Oh my gosh, if I fall, it's going to be so bad.

How do I do it?

Oh my gosh, I don't think she knows who I am anyway. Oh, she said Ginny.

Jake and Bait. Wow, Jake and Bait's viewers really fell off. He used to get like 3,000 viewers. Now he's doing gaming, people don't care.

Gary the Producer. Who knows this guy, Sushi Dragon? He's pretty funny.

Wow, Asmongold, 90K.

RiceGum has 22K.

Who's this?

Boring. Boring. Where are the Japanese girls at? Well, I guess it's morning there, so I don't think they'd be streaming at 10 AM in the morning. Oh look, Trash Taste is streaming. Bloody anime man.

2.8K viewers.

Cockblocked me from Chris. Chris was like, oh, because I'm friends with Joey, you put me in a tough situation because of that video you made.

The video I made about Anime Man wasn't even that bad. What was so bad about my Anime Man video?

So Joey's a really good friend of mine. Wow, they get 5K viewers already. They probably get 10K viewers. Jesus, that whole Joey gang, they really did well for themselves, killing the Twitch game too.

His fat girlfriend. I didn't even say anything about— he wasn't even with Akidearest when I made that video. The video I made, I can't even remember what I said. Oh, I said he was manipulating his audience for money. Yeah, I was saying he's whining too much. He was saying stuff like he needs to quit YouTube because of

the adpocalypse, and I said if I can make a living doing this when I've only got 5K subs, then why are you moaning when you've got nearly a million subs? He was whining all the time when the adpocalypse happened, saying he might have to quit YouTube. A load of rubbish. Ah, they're so popular, those bloody giguk

CDawg and Jory, they're like the most popular in the whole weeb sphere.

I'll take them down.

We'll take them on. 120 of us versus 6,000 of them. Okay, we don't stand a chance.

They destroyed us.

I hate it when they'd start a stream and then the first half an hour is just nothing, waiting for people to come. What's the point? Why don't you just start?

Oh, it makes me depressed how successful Anime Man became. He's huge now.

How do people not get tired of his stuff? He just talks about anime all the time.

What do I think about Aki? She's like this cringe weeb.

Look at her content.

No, now she's doing I moved my Jap— look, when I moved Japanese apartments, I didn't get bloody million views. All I get was shitty 20K, 30K views. She gets nearly a million just for moving apartments.

Oh my God, look at this one,

3.7. She's so popular. I remember she didn't used to be this popular. She used to get like barely 100K views. Now she gets— my God, she's got half a billion views now.

Jeebus, they just got so big.

Yeah, well, they're likable and they've got a good channel and they put effort. Whatever.

Japan's most evil cult.

And today I'm going to be taking you guys to one of my Favorite izakayas in Japan. Now, for those of you that don't know what an izakaya is, it's basically like a pub somewhere. She looks like my ex-girlfriend, the French one. They're very, very popular. Isn't she Thai or Filipino? My ex-French girlfriend was also Thai, kind of

looked like this. There are hundreds of them, especially in Tokyo, and a lot of them look pretty similar. You've got lots of benches and tables for your friends to sit at, but some of them are themed. So the one that I'm going to be taking you guys today is a place called Hanbei. Hanbei is an izakaya that

is themed after the Showa. Quality cat food, and when all is said and done, you can finish it off with a lovely— She said, oh, we're going to an izakaya. This is the menu. This is the food they have. It costs ¥200. Why does that get bloody 280K views? Corned beef, but I just didn't expect that they

would have it in the packet. Look, is this really that interesting? I'm not sure why they did it this way because it kind of like kills the mood. Just eating food. We also have fried potato, which this is actually really average for all of the izakayas. So this is french fries, but in Japan they call it fried

potato. I got some gyoza and they suck. Oh really? They're still raw. It's like people do the most boring things and they get millions of views, and then I got divorced and I got dumped and I got a sex doll and I barely even get 20, 30K views. The hell?

And other people just going to a restaurant and getting a million views, not having to destroy their lives.

Yeah, algorithm hates me.

Look at TerryTV's channel. His newest video bombed. Look, 22K views after 4 days and he's got 2 million subs. The hell? If Agadiris made this, should get like quarter of a million views by now.

22K views. What happened?

I think it's because it's about a killer, and then the algorithm probably suppressed it. The algorithm probably thought, oh, this is about killers, better not let people see this. But then Akidearest made one about a killer. Look.

Look, she made this Japan's most evil cult, 1.2

million. Oh, clickbait. My new husband, it's just an anime character.

Why can't I get views? Why is it so hard for me to get bloody views?

I did all that stuff when I was in Japan going to a bloody restaurant.

Is she only famous because of Joey? I think she overtook Joey now. She has 418 million views. Anime Man has

454, so he's slightly ahead. They're like the anime otaku power couple.

Look how many channels they've got. Jesus, he's got— he's also got his Joey channel where he does Casual Vlogs.

His latest one blew up. And then he's got 3 Trash Taste channels. Trash Taste, Trash Taste Highlights, Trash Taste After Dark. How many bloody highlight channels do you want? Oh look, even the highlight channels get like half a million views every time. Jesus, they must be raking it in. That every Trash Taste episode gets like a million

views.

Jesus, the amount of money they must be making should be insane.

Anime Man— Trash Taste gets more views than Anime Man's actual videos, but I guess it's combining 3 YouTubers' audiences. CDawg and

The amount of money Anime Man Akidearest must be putting in is— it just has to be disgusting, filthy. They must be making like $100K a month.

I would be surprised if they're not making $100K a month. Plus, don't they have like Patreon and stuff? They've got Twitch, Twitch subs, Twitch donations. They've Twitch advertisement rev. They've got like 5, 6 channels that get millions of views between them. They pre-sell merch as well and get donations.

That Gigguk guy is huge as well. Look at him,

look at those views.

This video is sponsored by Super Prism Games. Illusion iOS. But you know what, I really like what I see so far. Speedrun New Game Plus.

Boring, boring, all

boring. How do millions of people love them so much?

Oh look, Born in Japan. No. Oh, he did make a new video copying me. 12 Reasons Not to Move to Japan. I made that last year, 2 years ago. I did 20 Reasons Not to Move to Japan. Did I go viral?

No. Look, I made 2 videos. Actually, this one went mini viral. You got 80K views promoting Japan, talking about how much of a great paradise it is and why you need to come and live here or else.

And these YouTube channels are making videos trying to teach people how to move to Japan, how to get a visa, how to get a job teaching English, because what else are you going to do? How to get a girlfriend in Japan, how to make friends, how to tie your shoe. One of the reasons why I love Japan

so much is because it's full of Japanese people. And I love fucking the women. Imagine abroad in Japan saying that. One reason I love Japan is the women's pussy is fucking good.

I only got 30K views. Why don't I go viral? Hello, this is Daniel. What was that intro? Hello, this is Daniel. That cut. Hello, so first of all, Daniel from England. First of all, I would like to say that my hair is not greasy, it's just wet because I came out of the shower a few

minutes ago. Yes, I do have showers every day. I do get a little bit irritated when people keep saying that I don't wash myself and I'm dirty. I wash my hair every single day. I just washed it, okay? So please stop going on about how I'm unshowered. So today I want to talk about this Japanese guy on

YouTube called Nobita from Japan. I scribbled out his face. He's made 2 videos in a row. So scared he was to copystrike me again.

30K views.

Wow, look at my thumbnails. 30K. I got 30K back then.

The only video I made that went viral was the one complaining about Chris. Remember that one? Extremely exciting. It's now 2019, March, and I've heard nothing from Chris Broad, and I'm pretty sure that it's safe to say that there's going to be nothing between me and Chris We have absolutely no relationship. There will never be a relationship

between us. And I have nothing to lose by burning this bridge. So this all began around August 2018. I was doing a livestream and I was pretty bored. And I was on Facebook and I was trying to find people— Wait a bit when I shout at anyone. Knowing that you get ignored by someone and then it is,

you know, that was— Why do I call videos such low viewers viral? 170k views for me is viral. I don't get 170k views all the time, so that's a huge number for me. What I wanted to be, you know, a huge YouTuber with the millions, you know, the village. And then Chris video about the anime man asked

you to take— I mean, Osaka, which should— not even a peep, not even a sorry, I'm good. This is the dumbest video I ever made and it got so much attention.

Ah, that's the only way I can get more than 100K views, by putting someone else's name in the title.

Oh, I need to pee again. Pretty silly. And I was behind her and I decided to kiss her. And then we started to kiss, and for some reason we ended up lying on the floor. And then I fucked up. Remember when I met that Korean girl?

Looks nice. And then I fell off the swing.

I should have tried to sex her. Not you. You. Why? You said you wanted to be on the Here you go. Me? Not you. The hell was that? We're in a park now. This was nice. This was really nice. She took me to this park. It was in the middle of the night and we were all alone

there. I should have tried to kiss her. She gave me a cigarette.

Spooky.

So romantic.

Korean park. Imagine if we effed in the park. Lots of gym equipment. Bend her over that equipment. I should have taken her into this toilet, did it in the cubicle. Oh wait, I got a donation.

Did I get cereal? No, I met— we went on a few dates. She took me to some restaurants. We walked around a bit, but I found out she's a Christian and she goes to church, so I thought, ah, she's not gonna want to do like crazy sex, and I just kind of gave up.

And then I started banging call girls, and I kind of just forgot about her, and then she unmatched me. I think she unfriended me on KakaoTalk, and I couldn't find her account. She deleted her whole account, so it just said unknown user. I don't know if she deleted it or she blocked me.

Oh, I can't play the new donation. It says, who the hell is Chesh? Why do you people keep talking about her?

It's your mama.

The end, it didn't even matter. I tried so hard.

Okay, back to the video.

It's the next day and we're meeting again. She asked me if I wanted to go for dinner, so I said yes. Meeting her again. We went to this restaurant.

It was nice.

Spilled my

water.

Look at my head, so small. It was so awkward, we barely made much conversation.

Now this was nice. She fell over backwards on this swinging thing and then I had to pull her up. I was like leaning over her. It was pretty hot.

It was scary. Ah, I should have kissed her then.

It was funny,

she was calling for the old guy to help her instead of calling for me.

I'm right next to you, why didn't you ask me to help you?

I, I don't want to try.

It looks like a torture Torture rack.

Those parks in Korea could be nice. Out your pocket. Whoa. Hello, Mike. Be strong. Fell off the swing.

I'm scared. So low, right? I'm going to fall.

Some of the dates were nice in Korea. It's very dark. It only got 37K views. Pants. I want 100K. Korea. That was quite a nice shot.

We went to this cafe.

Ice cream? It's ice cream. Maybe last week, I can't remember. It's quite a few days ago now. The Korea vlogs had quite a nice vibe. About 2 minutes away from my first Airbnb and the second Airbnb. Which was around Seoul Station, but I've moved to a different Airbnb, to a VR gaming center place, and I said to

her, have you ever tried it with her? And it didn't really feel like it was hard work making conversation. The Korea vlogs had a really cozy feel, didn't they, in those Airbnbs? There was something about it. I don't know how to describe it. Why is my tongue

It's like a painful lump on it.

Do I have tongue cancer? I didn't bite it.

Oh, painful lump here on the side. Yeah, it's weird. When I was at— in Korea, I kept moaning about how depressed I was, but now I look back at the videos It reminds me there was a vibe, like an atmosphere to it

that is quite interesting to revisit.

Oh, it gives me tingles remembering that apartment with the heated floor, and I felt like I was embarking on a new adventure. Escaped from the marriage in Korea. Now I've got to do my own shopping and my own laundry.

It was so cold. I was having to wear 6, 7 layers and still the cold. I could feel it like little pins being pricked into you. It was painful. The cold air was actually painful.

First apartment in Korea was impressive. Yeah, the funny thing about that apartment, it was the exact same design and layout as the apartment I lived in with my ex-Korean girlfriend nearly 10 years ago.

It was pretty expensive. It was like 1,000 $200 for 2 weeks. But it had a nice bed, nice kitchen. The heated floor was really nice.

Japan doesn't have heated floors.

I was a bit worried she would ghost me after— this apartment was a bit depressing. And now I'm trying to think, how long should I wait before I ask her out on a second date? Maybe it's not a good idea to ask her out again The very next day. Maybe I should wait. The goshiwon was when it

all went down. Yeah, I felt really miserable. That room was so small. The town I was in was horrible. It was just really not foreigner friendly. It was like a very Korean-only kind of town.

But I banged so many P-girls. I banged like 6 call girls in that tiny little room on the mattress floor, the floor mattress. 3 of them were really cute, and then the last 2 were just, uh, not great looking. I had some good sex in there. Just gonna prep my sandwich. I got this cheese bulgogi burger,

and I got this Pizza chips. Well, that actually— one of them was really cute and she let me spoon her after.

But look at that degenerate. Look at that floor bed. Banging those girls on that floor mattress was just hot. It would squeak like— and you can hear people walking past because the window was like right next to the street. Oh, I got a donation.

Hold on, I got a $3 dono.

See how long it takes to play.

This is sad. Well, it might sound sad, but it was hot. She would just knock on my door, she'd come in, I'd give them the money, and then we'd like touch, and I'd put her down on my floor mattress.

And then I have the window open.

It was fun times.

Oh, it takes so long to play them.

And then it keeps playing the same one over and over.

Yeah, well, I can't get a girlfriend now, so I have to pay for it, don't I?

No girls want to meet me when they see my channel.

Well, I had some good memories. If I didn't pay for it, I would have been in Korea all that time and didn't get any action. At least I got some action

and no girl's feelings were hurt. Who the hell is Jason? Why do people

Wait, it's coming. Ah, text-to-speech is so bad on Streamlabs Mobile.

Ah, there it is. Thank you, T. I remember in a really old video you said you were adopted and your real parents abandoned you. What? Or something. Was that true? I never said that. What?

I never said I was adopted.

You should make up with Chihiro. I don't know, I think I'd rather go back to Korea and have some cheesecake, girls.

The Korea vlogs were quite nice.

I should have messaged my ex, she might have hooked up with me. After I left, she said, I heard you were in Korea, you should have messaged me.

She must be like 50 now. 48.

Yeah, this was the first— oh, this was sad, the beginning bit. Leaving my life in Japan.

Oh, leaving Chihiro. Okay, I'm ready. Let's go. Goodbye, Mount Fuji. Leaving

Japan.

Actually gone to Korea.

Arrival in Korea. Looks very futuristic.

That Korean station was huge. I'm in the

Look at the Korean Wi-Fi in

the train. For ages. Well, I got into my new apartment.

This is my Airbnb.

Oh, I feel like I've been traveling for ages.

Oh, there's a loft compartment as well and a kitchen.

It's pretty warm in here.

Wow, the floor is warm. There's heating in the floorboards. That's pretty cool. What are these glass doors?

Storage. Hey, who's doing the N-word? It's in a donation. Stop that. Her staircases, that's so funny.

I never slept in that bed. There's 2 beds. I slept in the downstairs one down there. Which one should I use?

This is my— that was disgusting. Look at me.

I felt so alone

and sad.

This was

good editing.

So sad and lonely.

Well, I actually put effort into the editing.

Well, it's, it's day 2 in Korea. Well, actually it's day 1. It's my first, first proper full day in South Korea, and my hair looks good. Kind of felt a bit depressed last night because it's weird coming to a new country. I ended up wasting most of my cash on a you-know-what.

I've only got about 2,000 won, which is about— only got 37K views, so I have to go to the supermarket. Come on, If Chris Broad did this, he'd get half a million. They gave me this massive fridge, no food, so I'll go to the soup.

Why don't I use B-roll footage? Because I haven't been anywhere in 6 months. Where would it come from? I have some from my garden.

I used B-roll when I left Rotterdam. It's just I haven't gone anywhere, so I don't feel like there's anything to film.

But I went over the budget by quite a lot. I didn't realize food would be so expensive here.

It's about $17, 1,500 pesos. Getting food was such a challenge there. It was just really difficult to find well-priced food. Everything felt overpriced. It was kind of run down and and it made me feel depressed walking around out there. Well, I guess it's my fault because I didn't do any research on the area for a new place

in a better— Meat was really expensive. If I wanted to get like a steak or pork chops, it would be like $15, $20, whereas in Japan it would have been just $5 or $6, $7.

I didn't know how to get good, well-priced food. I went to these supermarkets and everything was really expensive. Turns out meat in Korea is kind of expensive. You have to get like tofu and fish,

or you've got to go some kind of butcher market, open market place. Place where the poor people shop.

I was shocked at how expensive food was,

but then you go to a restaurant and then it only cost $5 for all you can eat.

And that goes straight— that meal was disgusting. Carrots I made beef and carrot soup. It tastes horrible. This was the worst cooking I've ever done.

And then I bought that pot and I was just making kimchi stew every day.

It was really chewy and that beef tastes rancid. That's pretty good actually. It wasn't. It's only because I was hungry. Good old hearty beef soup.

I lived there about a month and I had to leave because of the virus.

Yeah, my new videos are kind of boring, aren't they? It's just me.

So it's been a while since my last video, and that's because I've been busy. That is, they get a bit freaked out. I made this after that black girl found out my channel. Most of the time they block me or unmatch me, or they don't want to meet me anymore because they're scared that they'll end up on

the channel. So in order to make my channel less— someone said I was going great. I'm not going gray. It's just the sunlight shining on my hair. Look, sunlight shining on this black chair making it go whitish doesn't mean the chair is going gray. It's just the sunlight. Creepy and rigid making. I don't like making boring stuff,

you know, not non-weird content. You might say, why don't you just make normal content? It's not gray. YouTube does. It's because It doesn't interest me. I find that boring. Boring.

When I left Rotterdam, I did film B-roll like this.

Uh, sad last day. Me and Mida's apartment. Finished packing and I finished tidying up. Me and Mida sat there every night.

Goodbye, Rotterdam.

I had good memories in that apartment. I left a few things like shampoo, towels, stuff I don't want to bring with me. And I did a bit of cleaning, wiped down surfaces, did the washing up. I'll leave some coins there, they can have them.

Oh, I can't believe I'm leaving like this. I was planning on leaving anyway before— I hated this window. I was intending to come back. Those stupid landlord people couldn't even put up a proper curtain. I had to like peg up the curtains to the edge so there were no gaps. Again, but I guess that's not happening now.

This was the worst place I ever stayed. It was so expensive, so noisy. Right next to a big busy road, people walking up and down the staircase, slamming the door.

And then I didn't even get the deposit money back. Hopefully I can just go back home, fly back without any problems.

Mila used to stand there. Be fine. I booked my ticket, so Mila used to stand here every morning doing her hair, hair blowing it.

Hair drying it. If they're selling tickets, it must mean— I can't believe she dumped me. Says I need to self-isolate for 10 days when I arrive, which isn't a problem. That's what I was gonna do anyway, just sit in my bedroom playing Rainbow Six. Look at the weather. The weather is so bad.

I got an Uber.

Did I ask her questions? She didn't ask me any questions. Airport.

There's not many people here.

This video is a bit boring. It's just me in the airport.

And then I got home.

It's so nice to get home.

Going from that apartment back here was so nice.

It was so nice to see my mum and sister again. We had the fireplace, Mimo, no noisy, smelly neighbours.

I loved it when I got home the first day. I was so happy.

Now I'm missing Mita again,

but I just know— I remember in a really old video you said you were adopted and your real parents abandoned you, or something was That true. I'm worried this N-word donation is going to come up.

Oh no,

fucking hell.

What? That donation disappeared now.

Oh, there it is.

Yeah, I went from missing home, missing my family, feeling fed up with Mira, and then I got home, and then a few months later I started missing Chihiro, and now I'm annoyed with her. And now I'm bored living at home and I miss Mina again. But I just know if I went back to Rotterdam, back into that

horrible apartment, which was what I was planning to do, I would just be miserable again. So I said I was going to come home after Christmas for a few months, and Mina's reaction was, a few months? I thought you were just going to go a week and then come straight back. That was so sweet that she wanted

me to come straight back.

I felt so nice, like she wanted me to come back straight away. She didn't want me to be back— she didn't want me to be gone for a couple months.

Oh fuck, you nearly got it.

Oh, I moderated it. Now I have to remove this stream,

get another ban.

I moderated it. No, fucking hell,

why is it playing it? I didn't accept it.

Oh my God, this Streamlabs donation thing, for fuck's sake.

This Streamlabs alert system is so shit.

I don't know why it's so— finally, that's the latest one. Did you and Mila ever used to tell each other you loved each other? No, we didn't. We never said I love you. She never said I love you.

We weren't really, really affectionate towards each other.

I felt kind of scared because— did you and Mila ever used to tell each other you loved each other? I was scared because one of the reasons she dumped me in the first place, in the first time, was because she, she didn't want to be in a relationship and she didn't want to label it as a relationship

because because she felt like

it would make her feel pressured, you know, like the pressure of being in a relationship. So she felt as though if we didn't call it a relationship and we didn't call it girlfriend and boyfriend, then there wouldn't be the pressure.

So I was always worried about things like, can I call her my girlfriend? Can I say stuff like I love you?

So I was always trying to play it cool and not be too heavy, to try not to freak her out. But maybe I played it too cool and I didn't show enough affection.

Yeah, really weird this year. I've just flip-flopped all over the place from being being fed up with Rotterdam, being really happy being home, missing Chihiro February, March,

and then April, uh, started to miss Mida again. May, I just got annoyed with Chihiro because of the channel stuff.

And then end of May, feelings of desperation about not finding a girlfriend. Yeah, I mean, it's been 6 months now and I, I've got no follow-ups. And all the decent follow-ups I had in the beginning of the year, um, they all ghosted me.

But I just know if things were different and we didn't break up and I went back to Rotterdam after Christmas after a few weeks of being home here, I would have just been miserable again in that apartment.

The plan was I was going to extend the contract for another 3 months, and then Mila was going to stay there by herself whilst I came back for a few weeks because of Brexit, and then I was going to go back to like live there.

And then we would plan some trip to go on, like Sweden or Spain. We were discussing

a country to visit, but then she got a job, and then she said she wanted to do the job and save up money. So it's not like we could have gone anywhere straight away. There was just too many problems.

Too many obstacles.

And then I was getting more and more depressed because of my channel, and I couldn't just do what I wanted on the channel like I usually do.

And then I was addicted to stocks, and then if my stocks crashed and I was there and we were still together, I would have been even more

miserable.

Why did she say she dumped you? She just said she was unhappy. I didn't ask her to give me all the details because she already told me before.

It was just stuff like

she said we don't have anything in common, she wants to do stuff that I wouldn't want to do. And then the channel, the negativity, stuff like that.

Why do I call women girls?

Because if you call them women, it makes them sound like they're old, like a 40-year-old woman.

If they're in their 20s, I'd call them a girl. If they're in their 30s, yeah, I might say women.

Why do people call them girlfriends instead of women friends? Why do some people make such a big fuss over calling women girls? It's pretty normal. Next time you hear someone say they've got a girlfriend, why don't you moan at them? Say, why don't you call her your woman friend? Isn't it weird calling her a girl? Why don't

you shut the fuck up moaning at me? About the stupid word choice I make. Stupid idiot.

Perfectly normal to call a woman a girl.

It's why we say girlfriend and not woman friend. Doesn't mean we're thinking of them as like a little girl. A

child. I hope next time someone says to you about their girlfriend, you better start bitching at them like you're bitching at me. So you better say to them, why are you calling her your girlfriend and not your woman friend? Stupid idiot. Fucking Dante.

Mouthing off at me because I used girl instead of woman. Shut up! Fucking hell,

people bitching about every single bloody thing.

Anyway, what was I saying?

Lost my train of thought now.

Ah, yeah, I think it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

But I still keep wishing that

I could have been the person that could have made it work. I could have made money without having

to make her unhappy, cuz she was unhappy when I started streaming again. She, she was not happy when I started doing the streams in the new apartment, and then I was just whining all the time. She's very against me whining and being negative. Even if I was being negative around her, like if I complained about some channel

blowing up and overtaking me, she would say— she would stop me and say, Daniel, don't be negative.

I mean, that's what I do when I stream. I just blow off steam.

And then you're saying I can't even bitch and moan when I stream? No one asked you to watch it. Now why is she watching this stream if what I say in this stream she doesn't like? Why can't I just have like my own private personal space

where I can talk about what I want to talk about? I wasn't even talking about her. It's not like the Chihiro situation where— yeah, I understand why Chihiro didn't like it because every stream I would be saying something not nice about Chihiro, but I did pretty well to not talk about Mida when I was with her. I

think I, I did quite well. I learned from my mistakes with Chihiro, and I made sure not to do the same thing. But then even that wasn't good enough, and even then she moaned that I was being too negative in streams. So I wasn't even allowed to be negative in streams. So I had to stop doing streams

or stop being negative.

She was just unhappy with everything I was doing,

and then her attitude just wasn't good when it came to my YouTube channel. She had like this attitude of, oh, just let it go, everyone has a moment of fame, do something else.

She doesn't understand how important— I remember in a really old video you said you were adopted. And some people don't understand how

embedded the YouTube thing is in my identity. Like, I identify myself as the This is like part of me. I don't want to let it die.

Plays that stupid N-word thing.

Why can't it just play the latest one?

My YouTube thing is important to me. I don't want to just be told, oh, let it go, or move on, give up. I don't want to be told that.

Hot streamer who said you were cute. Who's that? Yeah, but then she probably looks at my channel and thinks, oh, he's cute but his personality sucks.

That's what they all say.

Oh, I'm scared now. There's 2 donations with the N-word.

Okay, I'll just show the donation like this.

Have you seen Darkside Phil? Do you think he reminds you? I don't know who he is, so I don't know. If he shouts and swears, then maybe. He's like me. People say I'm like Wings of Redemption. I never saw him either.

No, no, no, no! Fucking hell.

Stop doing that. Do you want me to get banned? Okay, I'm gonna have to stop the stream now and delete this whole VOD and then restart the stream. So please give me a second because these stupid idiots keep doing the N-word.

Oh shit, why is it playing that one? Did you still have Mila blocked? What? I didn't even notice that one.

People talking about things she said. What? Who's talking about something? I haven't heard anything from her.

How do people know about things she said? Where's, where's she saying them?

I don't really want to hear about her because it makes me sad because I miss her.

KakaoTalk? How would they know what she's saying on KakaoTalk?

You keep talking about her. Yeah, but the donation said

People talking about things she said. Who are people? What are the things she said? How do they know what she said? I know I am talking about her, but I'm not talking about things she said because I don't know what she said because I haven't talked to her since December.

My tongue feels swollen.

Yeah, well, I don't trust what people are saying. They just make up a load of rubbish,

try and stir the pot.

Oh my God, what?

Fucking hell, I don't understand it.

Why does it pop up?

So stupid.

But it's just N-I-C-K-E-R. It's not like it's the actual N-word, is it?

Okay, what should I do?

Twitch is so dumb because they punish me when I'm trying, trying to stop these from going through using this stupid broken system.

I think I'm just going to disable it for the rest of tonight.

I don't know why Streamlabs is so broken. It didn't used to be this bad.

It— I don't know how it works.

So there's an activity list and then it pops up showing each donation, and then I can press accept or reject, and I press reject,

but when I, I press the play button

Look, there's like a—

see that red play button? I press red so it doesn't play, but when I press it again so it plays, it goes on to autoplay mode and starts playing all of the queued up donations, even the ones I press reject on.

I probably have to delete this one as well.

Might go to bed soon anyway, it's 3 o'clock.

I don't really have this problem when I stream from my desktop.

I like streaming from my phone, it just feels more laid back. I feel like there's more stress when I stream from my desktop, I don't know why.

What were we talking about?

I'm finding it hard to talk as well. That painful lump on my tongue getting bigger.

I don't know what that is.

It just randomly appeared.

I can't see anything. It just looks pink like my tongue, but I can feel a lump.

That's the pencil.

I didn't bite it. Let me see.

It looks a bit whitish actually, like a lighter colored pink. I don't know, it just randomly popped up.

Is the picture of my muscles real? Yeah, but maybe the angle of the camera makes them look bigger.

Yeah, it looks a bit better.

Maybe it's stress.

I don't think having muscles would make Mila want to be with me again. The lack of muscles, I don't think that was the problem.

I wonder what the main problem was.

Probably my stagnation and my negative attitude.

Problem is you had zero long-term plan.