life updates

Testing, testing.

Is it working?

For some reason, I can't stream from the YouTube app.

Um,

well, I can, but I can't change it from unlisted to public. When I press the edit stream setting button, it doesn't do anything, which is weird.

There's no mold in the car, stupid idiots, thinking bits of tree debris on the roof is mold.

I really like using the YouTube app to stream. I don't like this app, but the YouTube app, it's not working for some reason. It did this before, but it kind of fixed itself by tapping randomly because usually you click on the little pencil and then you press

public instead of unlisted, but nothing happens when I press it, so I had to use a different app.

Also, they closed the road to my lay-by, which is where I usually sleep, so I can't get to my lay-by. So I had to find a new lay-by, but this one's not as good. Because it's smaller and there's no, there's no thing that separates the lay-by from the road. So now I'm like right next to the road.

I tried everything. I've turned off the phone, turned it back on, I reset the app. I switched accounts.

The button where you edit the stream before you go live doesn't work. You just tap it and nothing happens.

How long have you been living in your car? Over a month now. I came here on the 5th of August. Now it's the 10th of September.

I had to buy some new tires.

Uh, I got budget tires this time instead of premium ones because I used to think if you get premium tires they last longer, but rubber's rubber, isn't it? I think the only difference with the more expensive ones is it's got like a more complex grip pattern, which doesn't really make any difference anyway, or it's got the branding

on it.

So I've been spending like £200 per tire when I could have just been spending £90.

This app's annoying. It doesn't, it doesn't scroll automatically, the chat. I have to keep scrolling it down. Why don't I live with my parents? Well, I've only got one parent, the other one died.

Um, the main reason is because

I make more money here. That's it really. And I know people here, so I've got social interaction.

Brave to live in the car. Yeah, I've gotten comfortable with it now. I take my socks off to go to sleep. When I first started, I was scared, so I kept my socks on. I feel more relaxed, but now I feel a bit on edge again because I couldn't get to my lay-by, which is where I usually

sleep.

Yeah, I feel like when you're independent, you work harder. You feel less like a kid and more like an adult.

It's more like you got control of your life.

When I was at my mum's house, I felt like I had to be home at a certain time because if I didn't come back before it gets dark, she'd be worried

and then she'd make dinner. So I feel like I've got to go home now because dinner's ready. So it's like all these things

preventing me having full independence. I mean, it's not like It's just like a psychological thing, I guess.

What do I want to do after the debt is paid off?

Um, I'm not sure really. Either I move back to my mum's or I get my own place.

I kind of want to get my own place. I'm not sure.

Or maybe I go back to my mum's house for winter and then come back out when it gets warm again.

Would I ever go abroad?

Um, probably not. I have thought about maybe driving to Europe, somewhere warm,

when I'm out of debt. It's— I don't, don't really want to, to be honest. Will I get the new iPhone? I just watched a video about that iPhone Duo. Looks pretty cool.

I'm just not really interested in folding phones anymore.

They're kind of gimmicky. The, the problem with them is they're too heavy in the pocket.

I got offered this job by this Indian guy.

Um, so he asked me if I could take his wife to work 3 days a week.

So I said, yeah, why not?

So now I'm like trying to tidy up the car.

I thought it could be interesting and play my Punjabi smash hits on the radio.

I'm hoping she speaks English, otherwise it's going to be kind of awkward.

It's funny, like in Devon, people are very chatty. This kind of stuff doesn't happen in Kent. I started chatting to this other guy as well. He told me I should look into getting into security work. He said, don't worry about not looking intimidating. All you're gonna have to do is stand by a door. No one's gonna find

me— see me as like an authority figure. I can't imagine me doing security work.

Where'd you meet the Indian guy? Just at the charging place. He saw my Tesla.

It's like people love starting conversations with me just because I'm in a Tesla.

Like, the security guard guy asked me how much my Tesla was. I told him, and then he started saying, oh, I should get into security. Like, he's trying to help me make money. Said I can make $200 a day, but I kind of already make that doing what I'm doing now.

But he said, he said he knows people in the industry, like he can get me hooked up and get— I have to get a license apparently. Seems like a lot of work and effort to make the same money I'm already making. I'm sure the hours are less than what I'm doing now. But then the work's going to

be way more stressful, isn't it? Hard.

Don't you think the car's too stinky to take anyone in? Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. The laundry might stink. I'll probably get the laundry done before picking her up.

It's kind of weird to just trust some random guy with your wife.

Like he doesn't even know me.

How long hours do I work now? I work about 12 hours a day

at the sausage inspect— action plan.

Maybe the Indian wife has a hot sister.

Yeah, a lot of people think I'm gay

when they first look at me, or they think I'm bisexual, not interested in girls. I think it's my mannerisms and like the way I hold myself and talk. I don't come across as like this super straight person. That's why the gay Japanese guy sucked me off. He was confused. I thought gay guys have gaydar. If even the

gay guys think I'm gay, then I must come across as pretty gay.

So yeah, I've got this side job now.

He said— I gave him his— I gave him my number. He said he's gonna ring me next Monday.

Show face? What do you mean? Can you not see my face?

I have to lean into the light. On the YouTube app, it's got like this lighting boost feature. This app doesn't have it.

How much is he paying for Indian girl delivery? Uh, 100 bhajis and pakoras. I recently learned what a pakora is because they won't shut up about it on Asian network radio station. They're doing like a Guinness World Record pass the pakora. What a waste of time. They're just going to get a bunch of radio listeners to do

a chutney pakora passing relay

and then get a Guinness World Record. What's the slate of motion? Pointless waste of time ever. It's going to be a bunch of people in a line dunking a pakora. It's basically just a fritter, like a bhaji. It looks just like a bhaji, like a deep fried thing.

It's funny because all the people, all the hosts on the Asian network radio station all seem to speak fluent Punjabi.

And then they're like really into the culture.

How come, um, I'm not like that? I don't know my mum's language.

I guess Indian parents push it more,

or they have grandparents in the household who don't speak English.

Yeah, so I got 79 days of doing this until I make roughly 16,000.

I'm on track to sending another £2,500 at the end of this week. I get the debt down to £17,200.

Yeah, I think it's different when you're mixed. I think when both your parents are from another country and they push the culture and language on you, then that's different than having just one parent Who doesn't really push the language or their culture on you? I mean, we did umph out Chinese New Year with the red envelope with

some money in it.

That was only Chinese influence.

I used chopsticks, but that wasn't because of my mum. My mum doesn't use chopsticks. I use chopsticks because I was a massive weeb and I was obsessed with Japan and I lived in Japan,

so I was like trying to become Japanese

and then it just stuck with me. So I like using chopsticks. I haven't used any recently though.

I didn't bring my chopsticks with me.

Supposed to hold on and work till 65. No way you can keep on going like that. Well, I'm not. I'm only doing this because I want to pay off the debt as quick as possible. Once the debt's paid off,

I'll probably work half the amount I'm doing now.

I'm just— I'm so sick and tired of owing my mum all this money. I just want to get it over and done with. So I feel like I just— I can't just make however much money I want to make because I've always got that debt hanging over me.

Otherwise, I wouldn't really need much money. I just need money for food, money to pay my Tesla payments, a couple subscriptions here and there.

That's it, really.

If I didn't have the debt, I wouldn't really desperately need money.

It does feel like my life's on hold whilst I have the debt.

Oh yeah, it was my nephew's birthday. He's 1 year old.

That was quick.

They had a birthday party in London. Didn't invite me.

I mean, I wouldn't have gone anyway, but it would have been nice to have been asked. You know?

Yeah, my mum went.

Do I feel left out? Yeah, I feel like I'm invisible, no one cares.

Worthless, no-value human being.

That's why I feel like the only time I can grab back some kind of attention is by doing YouTube.

Yeah, of course I changed the piss trousers. I changed them the next day, put them in the laundry.

Thoughts on I Exist?

Yeah, I mean, if she wants to meet, I'm down.

But the thing is, you know what's funny?

I talked about this on the Discord.

So there's 2 types of people in the world: those who know me in real life but don't know my YouTube side, and you guys who only know my YouTube side but don't know me in real life.

Um, I act differently, I behave differently in real life compared to how I act on stream.

So if you only know me from the stream and then you meet me in real life, I think you're gonna be disappointed because I'm, I'm not very talk— I mean, like, obviously I talk a lot on stream because you have to talk. I can't just sit here not talking. It's the whole point of going live, isn't it?

It's just talk. But I'm not really this talkative in real life, and I don't just like start rambling about crazy stuff. So if you only know me from the stream and then you meet me in real life, you're gonna be in for a surprise, I reckon, because I'm not the same as I am on stream. But if

you only know me in real life and you don't know my stream, and then you see my stream, you're gonna be shocked because you're gonna see a side of me that you've never seen before.

So it's like I can't please

either party,

you know what I mean?

Why do I not talk in real life? When I was a kid at school, I was basically a mute. Teachers used to make fun of me because I never talked. The kids made fun of me because I never talked.

I was scared to talk.

I didn't know how to banter and interact with the other kids.

Part of the reason I started YouTube was because I wanted to talk and I wanted to practice it and become better at it.

Yeah, one of my nicknames the teachers gave me was Motormouth or Chatterbox because I never talked. I'd just sit in the corner not saying anything.

No, my biggest fear at school was when the teacher would pick you out, he'd ask a question and be like, okay, Daniel, blah blah blah blah blah, and then you'd have to say something because

usually they would ask a question and wait for the students to raise their hand and volunteer. And sometimes no one would volunteer, or it'd always be the same kids volunteering because they talk a lot. So the teachers wanted to get the quiet students to talk, so they would like go around the class. That terrified me when I

was at school.

Didn't you say you were the funny one in class before changing school? Yeah, when I was like Below 10 years old at primary school, I was like the clown, the class clown.

The other kids used to say they think I'm funny. And then when I went to secondary school, everything changed. I was very scared and timid.

Yeah, that was Mr. Rogers. I remember him saying that to my dad at some kind of parent meeting. So if you have— you want to talk to Daniel, you got to get on the ground to make eye contact, because I was always looking down at the ground.

Secondary school is just very intimidating. It's full of very

chavvy, boisterous, rough people that I wasn't used to because my primary school was quite nice. The area was nice. Lenham is not such— I mean, it's an okay area, but the people there are very chavvy.

So if you didn't talk, you got picked on because you look weak.

And I didn't know anyone there.

And I also, I moved to that school halfway through the year, so people had already made friends and established their groups, and I was like the new transfer kid.

Plus, there were a lot of racist kids there too.

So I've always had difficulty with just chatting and talking like a normal person.

Yeah, I did 11+, but I failed it,

so I had to go to a rubbish school.

Yeah, so I was saying, like, if a viewer meets me,

they're probably going to find me very different in real life.

And then someone who knows me in real life only, and then they find my YouTube channel, are shocked, and then they think Oh, he's faking how he's like in real life because on stream he's totally different. Uh, it's very hard to explain to them.

Well, not many people care enough to hear me out. They just accuse me of being fake

or act— putting on an act. It's really,

really upsetting actually

to, to have your whole identity just be accused of being an act.

Depends on my mood. Like sometimes on YouTube I'm in a somber mood, like today I'm I'm quite low energy,

bit down. Other times I'm in this confrontational,

could say narcissistic mood where I'm like, oh, I'm so great because I drive a Tesla. I'm just pissing about.

I think it would— it takes a lot of investment or effort to try and understand, and most people would rather just cut ties and be like, yeah, he's a weirdo, I'm done.

Obviously also it doesn't help that when I'm like ranting and saying stupid stuff, my view count goes up, which kind of— it kind of incentivizes me to be like that. Like this stream will probably get rubbish views because I'm very low energy right now.

Oh wow, Tesla Model Y, $20! Thanks so much.

And then they're like, oh, when he gets some attention and donors, he'll His whole mood changes. Well, yeah, cuz I like money.

Obviously I'm going to be a bit perked up when I get some donos or higher view count.

Do you have inferiority complex? Yeah, I do.

And one of my coping mechanisms to counter the inferiority complex is to blow my own trumpet. Makes me feel better.

Yeah, I like Turkish food. I'd say it's in my top 4.

They got lots of good tasting meats. I actually think Indian food— I don't know,

Maybe Chinese food number 1, Indian food number 2,

Turkish food number 3, Korean food number 4. But I only like Korean barbecue. I don't like all the other stuff.

Indian food's pretty good. I like, uh, tandoori chicken.

Very good. And I like bhaji, samosas, naan bread's good. I like the yellow rice. Indian food's got a lot of good stuff.

Great to see you again. How are you holding up? Um, not gonna lie,

I feel like

every day I have a little mental breakdown, but then I just say money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, and then it motivates me. That's all I got now.

Just keep eyes on target.

The only thing that makes me feel good is money.

Am I still trading? Yeah, um, I bought a triple leverage ETF for Nebius. Sold it, made a profit of £120. It's pretty nice. I sold it before it crashed as well, so I'm pretty pleased.

Sold Palantir at £179, that crashed down to £167, so I'm pretty pleased with that. Uh, I've got AppLovin, which is not really doing anything.

So yeah, if I watch a trading video and they say, oh, I'm buying this, I'll buy it too. And, you know, just give it a shot.

Darkness. Lights.

No, I don't do— I don't watch the tarot readings anymore. I was watching the tarot readings when

I had hope,

when, when I was like

clinging on to every word. She was saying and trying to figure out what she was feeling. Like, oh, did she mean this when she said that? Why does she keep bringing up meeting up as friends? What does that mean?

I was watching tarot readings to, like, give me guidance, but now I've kind of woken up to reality, I guess you could say. I don't have— I stopped talking to Grock

and I stopped watching the tarot stuff.

She said something to me recently, it was so weird. I don't know if I want to say it.

She texted me a couple days ago.

If I say it, she'll probably be pissed off, so I won't say it

for now.

I'm quite emotionally in control today, so

I was spiraling a bit a week ago though.

Why are you ignoring me? What did you say?

Do I think the UK is being colonized?

No, I don't know.

Don't care about politics.

How would I cope when I spiral again? I don't know.

It's that horrible feeling in your chest.

It's kind of like an adrenaline spike, but not in an exciting way. It's like in a dread way.

You can see the Tesla, my glasses reflection.

Do I work to forget pain?

Um, working Keeps me focused, keeps my mind off things,

keeps me distracted. So yeah, I like to work.

I need money, so it makes sense, doesn't it?

Otherwise, what would I do? I'd just sit in my car being bored.

I don't really know what else I would do if I, if I didn't work. I don't like video games. I don't watch shows or movies. I watch the odd YouTube video now and then.

I don't have any hobbies.

I hate it when people ask you what hobbies you have because I don't have any.

So I tried thinking, what hobby can I get?

But then I'm just like forcing myself to get a hobby to impress people when I don't really want a hobby.

Sounds like a boring life. It is a boring life, which is why I always want a girlfriend, because whenever I have a girlfriend, life becomes fun

and interesting.

And then you do activities with the girlfriend, and it's not that I really, really want to do the activity, It's just that the activity becomes fun because you're doing it with someone you like. Yeah, I could do them alone, but I don't want to do them alone. I'd rather just work.

Yeah, I'm still doing bicep curls, but I'm doing less now because I'm too tired.

It's also kind of awkward doing them at the side of the road.

I did push-ups tonight.

Relationship requires money which you don't have. Um, it's kind of hard to not have money when you work 12 hours a day every day. It's just that I send it all to my mum.

So I'm making money, but I don't keep it for myself.

I did a good deed. I found a notebook in the car park. It had a phone number in it, so I messaged it. Said, I found your notebook. I left it with the McDonald's staff.

And that was not for content. I didn't gain anything out of it, so you can't say I never do nice things or go out my way.

It's kind of hard getting a girlfriend now because,

because as soon as you mention that you're living in your car, they, they're not interested.

So either I lie to them or I tell them and then There's no chance.

No girl wants to date a guy who lives in this car, do they?

I mean, maybe it's cool if you're young, like 25, 22, but when you're my age, 37,

they, they expect more. Like, they expect you have a proper career, a home.

Women don't want to invest in a man and like wait for him to get good

They, they just want a man who's already good. They don't want to have to mother him or like be his therapist or his coach.

They just want to— they just want a guy who's already got his shit sorted out, don't they?

Uh, they call it hypergamy, don't they?

And when you got the career and the house, all the girls come flocking. But when you don't have that stuff, they're not interested.

So as a man, all you could do really is, when you're single, keep trying to improve, I guess.

I'll get a house again at some point. It's just now it's not the right time. Now I've got focus on smashing this debt out.

I think once I pay off the debt, I'll feel Like I have more self-respect.

I think I've paid off about— since, since June, I paid £6,000 back to my mum.

By living with your mum, you can save a lot of money.

The only money I'm spending now is for food because she would buy the food, and to charge my car because, well, I'd use her electricity and not pay her for it.

But we've got a home charger, an overnight tariff at her house, so it was barely costing anything to charge my car. Now I've got to use Supercharger. I get 30% discount by having membership, and I get free Costa Coffee when I charge. So the only expenses I have now that I wouldn't have at home is food and

charging.

Why am I living in my car? I don't know, midlife crisis maybe.

I was at home with my mum for like 3 months, got a bit bored, suffocated.

There was too many distractions.

It was always like, oh, can, can you take me here? Can you pick up your sister from London? Or can you give her a lift back to London?

Can you pick up Dave Gibson from the hospital because he broke his foot? There's like too many things getting in my way of trying to focus on work.

So I feel like I need to go hermit mode and just isolate myself and get my head down and focus on work.

So my, my deadline is end of November debt-free.

And then I've been looking at houses, but nothing has popped up. One popped up that I quite liked, but then it disappeared.

It was only £850 a month, oil heating.

It's just if I get a house, it's going to cost thousands. I've got to pay deposit, rent, council tax, water, heating. It would put me into more debt than it's worth.

Although I do miss waking up from a bed and being able to stand up and stretch and not have traffic going by me constantly,

having to rush to McDonald's to get a coffee to wake myself up.

Washing my hair is not really a problem. It takes one bottle of water to rinse it out— rinse the shampoo out.

But yeah, I think I can do it. Only 79 days to go. I've done 1 month, so I've proved I can do it. Now it's just,

can I keep doing it?

Medium term.

How much debt is left?

19,700. I'll get it down to 17,200.

This Sunday.

I don't know how I'm going to cut my hair either,

cuz I need a mirror and I need at least an hour. I can't do it in the public toilet cuz the staff are going to

think it's weird I've been in the toilet for over an hour.

I can't do it in the car cuz it'll make a mess.

Maybe I just got to go and get it cut professionally. First time in 25 years.

I just— I really don't trust anyone to cut my hair.

I thought, yeah, like, I could book one night at a hotel, get nice and washed up, and cut my hair. That could be a good idea. It would only cost like £80 for one night.

Maybe I'll treat myself. Once a month hotel room.

Put it down as a business expense.

But this is not fun anymore. When I first started it and I was at the campsites, that was fun, doing the cooking, the stove. Shitting in the woods.

That whole fun part of it is gone now. It's just like a daily grind.

Yeah, I think like my My goal at first was to come out here and have fun and adventure and meet people, and then it shifted into, now I'm just gonna grind hard to get the debt down.

So it's like my goal

with this whole thing has completely changed.

My mum's house is like 250 miles away.

Where do I park my car at night? At the side of the road. But they closed the road going to my lay-by tonight, so I couldn't get there. Now I'm in a different lay-by, which I don't like. It's not as secluded.

I'm hoping it's open tomorrow. I don't know what the hell they're doing closing the whole road off. So irritating. Maybe a tree fell down, I don't know.

What is a lay-by?

It's like the side of the road. It's like a

bit of road by the side of the road.

Where truckers usually park up and piss or something.

Shot your life living in a Tesla. Well, I kind of already did that,

but there's, there's not really much to it. I don't even use the fridge anymore or my kettle because I just go to McDonald's and get coffee there.

So the whole camping part of it is not something I'm doing right now anymore.

I unplugged the fridge.

My latest tell-off in the car. I haven't been told off since that woman told me off at the car park for driving like an idiot.

Yeah, I sleep in the car. That's my bed.

I took my car to get new tires and they drove the car into the garage and I wonder what they thought seeing the bed and everything.

What was I saying? I forgot now. Oh yeah, no, I haven't been told off recently.

I haven't been horned at in a while, which is good.

I don't see how I can be robbed. I lock the car when I'm inside of it, and then I've got the sentry cameras, so if anyone gets near the car, the headlights start flashing.

It's really annoying when you're 37 years old and these fucking idiots keep telling you off or scolding you like you're a kid.

It's just because of the way I look.

I stopped parking in the parent-child space.

I found it easier to just—

I just don't park in it.

So I guess they won, didn't they? By scolding me, it stopped me from doing it. So I don't want the hassle.

Although when my car locks, it makes a quack sound, and if there's school kids nearby, they laugh and then they start quacking at me when they walk past.

They start imitating it, they go quack, and I'm like, haha, very funny,

as if I've never heard that one before. Yeah, my car quacks, so what? I like it.

I still feel nervous when a bunch of schoolboys walk past me. It reminds me of being in school again.

Why don't you change it? I like it. It makes me laugh. I like it when it makes other people laugh.

It makes dogs bark as well sometimes.

I don't really know what I could do that's interesting. I had all these like ideas of camping by a cliff edge and using this stuff. I haven't even used the Starlink in weeks.

Got 5G here. I thought I was gonna go to like scenic places, stream there,

roam about with the Starlink.

Ended up not doing that.

I guess the Starlink was a waste of money.

It was useful for some of the campsites because it didn't have internet.

Why don't you do van life? Because then I've got to get a van. I don't really want to drive a van unless it's a nice electric van. But those are expensive and the range sucks. It's like £20K and it's only got 160-mile range, which is rubbish,

and it's hard to park.

No, I'm, I'm over the whole van life thing. I want a house.

Although it is quite liberating, you know, not having to pay council tax or rent, being able to move about.

Don't need to get furniture and then worry about moving the furniture when you leave.

If I got a house, I don't think I'd buy any furniture. I would just take my mattress out my car and use that as my bed,

maybe get an air fryer, and that's it. I wouldn't get a sofa, I wouldn't get a bed frame. I just like raw dog mattress on the floor.

I wouldn't get a TV again.

Yeah, maybe I'd get a smaller place.

I mean, the reason why I was so adamant about getting a detached house with no neighbours was because when I had a girlfriend, I was terrified of neighbours exposing me.

So I wanted like an isolated house. Where we'd have privacy.

But now I don't have to worry about that anymore. Yeah, I could just get a small house, semi-detached, in a town.

I was so stressed during the relationship trying to keep things secret, like mail,

neighbors.

I was getting all these skin rashes on my ballsack. My ballsack got all dried out and flaky.

And then after the relationship ended, it healed

and went back to normal.

It's weird. It's like when I get stressed, I get these— this dry skin, itchy.

Although it was kind of fun peeling the flaking skin off my ballsack.

Yeah, it is quite stressful living a double life.

I also had to not bring up topics

Certain topics like

social media, YouTubers, streaming, anything that could link back to me, I would avoid

as something to not talk about.

Are you still living as Jason? So here's the conundrum. I've— half the town knows me as Jason, but I told the Indian guy my name is Daniel.

So as long as those people don't come into contact with each other, should be fine.

So it's like a bunch of people know me as Jason and then a bunch of people know me as Daniel. It's kind of weird.

I'm gonna be giving his wife lifts to work soon.

What YouTube content pushes girls away?

Hmm, I don't really know, to be honest. Like, obviously the cheating stuff's not good.

But I don't think that's the worst of it.

I think the worst is not specific stories or details, but like the overall lack of empathy that I display is probably the biggest ick.

Girls always want emotional intelligence with guys. Which I don't understand, to be honest. I like— women always brag about how women have better social intelligence than men. Yeah, because you're biologically wired to nurture and raise a child. You're the one birthing it. You're the one breastfeeding it. You're the one that's going to spend 90% of the time

with. Of course you're naturally better wired with social intelligence than a guy is.

Like, if you think about it, you got 2 parents for the child. What use is it to have both parents really good at social intelligence?

Traditionally, that's not the man's role. Like, obviously things are different nowadays because women can go to work and men can look after the kids. But I'm like, speaking traditionally, biologically, like, the way we're

wired isn't created— isn't from modern life. It's from thousands of years of evolution.

Like, traditionally, men go out and they problem solve and they hunt and they gather resources and they fight. And then women traditionally would raise the kids and do like the domestic stuff.

So like, both genders have strengths and weaknesses and they complement each other.

So it's like, okay, women are right. Women have better social intelligence than men do,

but that's, that's normal.

What use is it having both partners having high social intelligence? Stupid, isn't it?

Because you don't need both parents with the child all the time.

Like, one parent would be with the child most the time, and then the other parent would be with the child some of the time, because one of the parents has to be out. Gathering resources. You can't have both out gathering resources because, because then who's going to look after the child? You can't have both looking after the

child because then who's going to gather the resources?

And traditionally, when gathering resources involved having strength and tactical precision

Then yet men have been better at that.

I don't like— I don't see what's wrong with that.

Car pulling up in front of me.

I'm gonna— car pulling up right in front of me.

Look right in front of me.

How long are they gonna be in there for?

See, this is why I hate ICE cars. Stupid engine.

They can't even sit there idling without making a stupid noise.

Why can't you just park behind me? Oh, thank fuck. Yeah, fuck off, fucking stupid fucking idiot parked in front of me. Get the fuck out of here.

I hate when people do that.

It's like you've got a whole empty car park and you've got to park right next to me. You could park anywhere else.

I forgot what I was saying now.

Oh yeah, emotional intelligence.

That's what women want these days.

But I mean,

my problem is

not only do I not have high emotional intelligence, I don't even have like the baseline intelligence of emotions that a normal person has.

Like, if someone is injured or like hurt their back or something,

I don't know what the right thing to say is.

I really struggle to, um, because people like to tell you stuff, don't they? Like, oh, I hurt my back. Oh, I got brain cancer. Oh, my car broke down. Oh, my cat got hit by a car.

My brain kind of freezes. I'm like, oh shit, I got to say something.

So usually I'm like, oh no, is it okay now?

Someone literally told me they had brain cancer and I was like, oh, is it all better now? And he's like, no, it's brain cancer. And then all I kept saying, I'm sorry to hear that. And then he kept saying, no, don't be sorry. Okay, I'm not sorry then. I don't know what to say. Why'd you fucking tell

me? I don't even know who you are.

I'm sorry you got brain cancer and you're gonna die.

What can I do about it? I'm not a brain doctor.

I mean, I probably shouldn't have said, is it cured now? Brain cancer, I don't know. I thought it's cured.

Now my car's getting wet because it's raining.

I don't want to be a dick.

I want to say the right thing. I mean, like, yeah, it sucks you got brain— I'm glad I don't have brain cancer.

It must be shit knowing you're gonna die in a few years. I can't imagine what that feels like. Like, maybe that's what I should say.

I don't know, why is it so difficult?

5% battery. Oh shit, I didn't realize. Plug my phone in.

Bro has brain cancer, you're lamenting about not knowing what to say.

Because I want to say the right thing.

Clean socks.

I didn't change my socks for days, and when I took them off, it was— I had to like peel— it peeled off my toes. Like I could hear it peeling off my toes.

Ask AI. AI just says, say,

I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be really tough

to deal with. Have a nice day. Bye.

I just want to get out of the situation because it's awkward.

Do I plan on going to Japan again? Nope. I will never go to Japan for the rest of my life, and that's fine because I don't want to go.

What can you say? Well, what you want to say is something that makes them feel

good and not feel bad

and doesn't make you look bad.

Otherwise people think you're a dick and

In a world where

good things only come to you when people like you, it's kind of important.

Unless you're happy just being alone and no one liking you, which is a pretty miserable existence.

What's wrong with being a dick? Because that doesn't get you what you want in life.

Another car pull up next to me.

Why are there so many fucking cars? 11 o'clock. I need to go home.

I don't like this lay-by.

Ah, tonight's not gonna be fun. I feel anxious.

Why do they close the road so late though?

Problem is they're all driving up that road towards the road closed sign, then they're driving back.

Is this the only other lay-by? Um,

I think I saw another one on the other side of town, but I'm tired and it's late. I don't want to be driving around trying to find somewhere to sleep.

If I get too stressed, I'm gonna cave and get a house.

That's gonna reduce my income by £1,000 a month.

I mean, it's only going to delay my debt repayment plan by a month, wouldn't it? Uh,

Maybe I will get a house. I don't know,

there's only 2 houses available. I don't really like either of them.

It is getting a little bit stressful, the anxiety.

Although it should be easier this time around to get one because my last tax return shows that I made £35,000, so I wouldn't need savings to prove that I have money.

I just gotta show them proof that I made this money over a year ago that I don't— obviously don't have anymore. But yeah, I made £35K last taxi. Obviously I don't have it now.

Well, might go to bed now, nearly half 11.

See you guys.

Good night.