why I'm deleting my youtube channel

Some of you may have realized that

recently a lot of my videos have

disappeared, and I wanted to talk about

why I finally decided to remove the

majority of my video content on my

channel. It's been a really difficult

decision for me to make because for the

longest time ever, becoming a famous

YouTuber has always been one of my biggest

dreams, and I kind of achieved that in

some way in 2018, but I have to accept

the fact that my channel is just not

succeeding. It's fading month by month.

The views drop more and more, and it

doesn't matter what kind of content I

make. Nothing seems to get many views,

and the only thing that gets a lot of

views are the kind of videos that make me

look like a terrible person. And sure,

maybe I'm not the best human being in the

whole world, but I swear I was a much

better person before I started this whole

YouTube channel thing. I feel like the

YouTube channel blowing up in 2018 just

kind of brought out the worst in me. And

sure, maybe those bad aspects of my

personality were always there in the first

place, but the YouTube channel just kind

of amplified it, exaggerated it. And

because I've made nearly most of my

content around focusing on how much of a

terrible person I am, it doesn't really

give off a very good first impression if

you find my channel and you find out about

me from my channel. I swear I'm not like

that in real life. And if you've met me in

real life, I think you can back me up in

saying that I'm a very different person in

real life compared to what I'm like in my

video content. So why do first impressions

matter so much to me now? After all these

years of not really caring about my

reputation and what people think of me, I

have come to the realization that I should

be caring about it. It is important what

people think of you, and first impressions

are very important. Now that I can't use

my channel to get girlfriends anymore like

I used to because they've lost interest,

the channel's not booming anymore, and

I've probably made myself look like a

massive twat, um, I have to go back to

my old ways of looking for girlfriends,

which involves using dating applications

and meeting people in the real world. And

I never really had any problems finding

girlfriends by doing that before I had the

YouTube channel. The problem is now that I

have the YouTube channel, post-YouTube

channel, um, the YouTube channel is now

really becoming a detriment and it's

really ruining my chances trying to find a

girlfriend. And I've had so many girls

match me and we talked for a bit and

things seemed like they were going well

and we clicked and we arranged to meet up

and then somehow they made managed to

randomly find my YouTube channel and then

they unmatched me, they blocked me, they

ghosted me. Eventually I would like to be

able to find a partner again and be in a

proper serious relationship again because

the idea of being alone and single and

lonely for the rest of my life doesn't

really sound very appealing. And even

though I think I've matured a lot since

those days and I think I've changed my

ways and I'm trying to make an effort to

improve as a person, The problem is the

YouTube channel is always like a stain.

If people see that stuff, they think

that's what I'm still like these days.

Basically, my old content is holding me

back and it's, it's just ruining my

chances and it's preventing me from moving

on and entering the next stage in my life.

So as you may have noticed, I've started

the process of removing most of my

content. I'm not going to delete

everything. I don't think all of my videos

were that bad, but I've deleted all of the

relationship stuff, all of the marriage

stuff, All of the videos complaining about

women and ex-girlfriends, all of the kind

of meeting up with girls, those kind of

vlogs, I've removed those. And any kind of

videos where it just shows me interacting

with other people, I've taken down mainly

because I just, I come across as really

just not a very nice person. If you see

some of my interactions I've had with

people in the videos, I think I'll just

leave some videos up like my travel vlogs.

My videos where I'm just talking about

past experiences, job experiences, mental

health kind of stuff. I think that's all

fine. Unfortunately, I'll never be able to

completely wipe clean all of my internet

history because when you put stuff on the

internet, it's usually there forever

because people will copy it and repost it

and upload it somewhere else. There's all

these websites and other channels that

have talked about me and and reposted my

content and stuff like that. I can't

really do much. Get it taken down. I don't

know if I asked politely, would they take

it down for me? Maybe some of them would,

I don't know. But I think if I start

removing some of the problematic and toxic

content that's on my channel, I think

that's a good step in the right direction

to try to do some damage control. So if at

least I meet someone eventually in the

future and they find my channel, or I

decide to tell them about my channel,

they can check out my channel and then

it's not just full of stuff like why I

hate my wife and why I hate my

ex-girlfriend and why women are stupid

and, you know, all that negative stuff.

Maybe it's too soon for people to believe

that I've changed. I'm trying to make

improvements. They might just think, oh,

you haven't changed, Daniel. You're just

the same bad person doing the same old BS

for your videos, using people and whining

about stuff. So maybe it's too early to

prove that I have changed and maybe it

will take some time eventually show that

I'm trying not to repeat the same mistakes

I've made in the past. I want to put

effort into cleaning up my act, and maybe

hopefully after enough time has passed, I

can eventually say, yeah, I did some

embarrassing things on YouTube a couple

years ago, 5 years ago, and maybe people

will be able to overlook the fact that I

acted like a massive idiot on YouTube and

on videos and I treated people badly for

content and views. Hopefully after enough

time has passed, I can prove that I have

changed and I'm not doing the same things

that I used to do. And then it can just be

like a little stain on my history. And I

think people can change and they do

change. And usually the biggest changes

are caused by massive catastrophes. And

nothing scares me more in life than the

idea of being single for the rest of my

life and not being able to find a partner

ever again. That, that terrifies me.

Terrifies me to the point where I'm even

willing to wipe my entire channel— well,

nearly my entire channel— and lose

considerable amounts of income because

it's just not worth it anymore. My channel

only makes like $800 or $900 a month, and

I don't feel like $800 or $900 a

month is worth the sacrifice of not being

able to find a partner again. Really, if I

had the power to, I would love to be able

to just wipe my existence off of the

internet get rid of everything, become

anonymous again. I just miss being

anonymous, really. I thought being famous

and being recognized on the street and

being recognized on different

platforms and stuff like that would be the

best thing in the world and it'd be

amazing. And yeah, maybe it would be

amazing if I was famous for a good thing

or as well known for being a nice guy and

making funny, cool stuff. But I'm well

known for being a terrible person and not

being a very good partner or husband. And

it's not a good thing to be famous for or

well known for. Oh, how I just miss the

days of when I could match up with a woman

and start talking to her, meet up with her

without having to worry about things like,

oh, is she going to find my channel and

then not like me anymore and then block

and ghost me? I don't remember what it

feels like to not have to worry about

that. And I miss those days. I don't know

if I could ever go back to those days of

being anonymous again. So you may have

realized that I don't really show my face

anymore in the videos, and that's mainly

because I want to become a faceless

YouTuber, someone who doesn't really put

his face out there in, in front of

everything. And I've put the beard filter

on some of my thumbnails because,

well, I'm just trying to make myself less

recognizable in public. People remember

what I look like, but if new people come

to the channel and find the channel, then

maybe they think that's what I look like.

They won't recognize me outside in public.

And yeah, the beard is not real.

Unfortunately, I'm not capable of growing

such a massive beard. I do have some

facial hair, but it's very small. In a

way, I guess I'm lucky that my channel

never really became really, really big and

those really big channels didn't really

make a lot of videos about me apart from

Elvis the Alien. I feel like if tens of

millions of people or even hundreds of

millions of people knew about me and

recognized, remembered my face, I feel

like that would have just made things even

worse. And even though I can't go back in

time and change what I did or, or erase

what I did completely from people's

memories, I think the best I can do is

just, number one, stop doing that stuff.

Stop making videos that make me look like

a terrible person. And then number two,

take steps towards cleaning things up.

It's kind of like when you have a massive

fire. You can't really undo the damage

that's been done by the fire, but the best

thing you can do is try and put the fire

out and try and stop the fire from

spreading, and then take steps to prevent

another fire from happening. So what kind

of videos am I going to be making from

now, you might be wondering? Well, I'm not

going to be making any more videos about

relationships or people I hate or annoying

things about people or just filming those

kind of dates that I went on with some

viewers and filming my interactions with

people. I think I'm going to stop making

those kind of videos. You know, I want to

make travel stuff because looking back at

my channel, the videos I made back in 2019

when I was pretending to be homeless,

they all have over 100K views. And over

time they've racked up views that

surpassed any of the drama toxic stuff.

And I should have been focusing on that

instead of like marriage and arguments and

fighting, getting kicked out. Instead of

making videos like that, I should have

been doing stuff like what Chris Broad

does. And I look back at the videos I made

in the net cafe and the capsule hotel and

the Japanese traditional inn. Exploring

the slums of Osaka has 120K views now.

I should have been making stuff like that,

and that's what I want to focus on making.

Unfortunately, because of the lockdowns

and travel restrictions, it's kind of

difficult to do that stuff now, and I'm

just waiting for Japan to reopen so I can

go back there and make capsule hotel

videos and, I don't know, train videos or

whatever. I think that kind of content

would do much better, plus it doesn't make

people hate me. I feel like I really made

a big mistake focusing on drama and

causing problems and fighting when I was

married, when I could have been making

simple, non-problematic travel vlogs with

Chihiro, and that could have done much

better and could have been much more

sustainable in the long term. I had such a

golden opportunity. I was living in Japan,

I had a visa, I was with someone who was

willing to make videos with me and be in

the videos, and I just blew it and flushed

it all down the toilet because I tried

chasing drama and I tried chasing girls

and fangirls and kind of short-term

pleasure stuff. Well, I hope that's a good

life lesson to any young people out there.

Maybe you don't want to take advice from

me, but as someone who's made all of the

worst mistakes and is now living,

having to suffer the consequences of those

bad decisions. Maybe just don't do what I

do. If you want to take anything from my

videos, just do the opposite of what I do

and you'll be much better off. And yeah,

reputation is very important. Very

important what people think of you and

what you put out on the internet does have

consequences later on in the future. I'm

really sorry if I took down a lot of

videos that you really loved and you

wanted to watch them again and they're not

there anymore. But I have to think about

what I want in life. The old videos were

just making what I want to achieve in life

difficult to accomplish, and I wasn't

really gaining much from it anyway. I

think the older videos were making about

$0.20 to $0.50 each month.

And since I've taken down hundreds of

videos, that's what, maybe between $60 and

$100 per month in income that I'm gonna

lose now. I don't think I'm finished

removing videos, so from here on, expect

more videos to start disappearing. Expect

titles to start changing. I'm also going

to start changing the thumbnails so my

face isn't in any of the video thumbnails,

because I guess that would give me an

extra layer of protection from being

discovered. Also, it'd be pretty helpful

if you could tell me which videos you

think I should take down, if there's any

videos I missed that look pretty bad,

then yeah, it would be nice if, if people

could have a quick check through my

channel and imagine if you're a woman or a

girl and you found it, like, what would

you think of me if you found the channel?

And then maybe there's more videos I

should be taking down. So yeah, that's

what I had to say. Um, thanks for being

understanding and supportive, and

hopefully from now on we can move into a

better direction and a brighter future.

Without the rot of my previous content

holding me back or ruining my chances.

Basically, my dream is to hopefully one

day find another relationship, and

hopefully it's not going to be toxic and

full of drama, and hopefully I'll be able

to keep it relatively secret and not try

and make money off it by exposing every

single little detail about my partner and

about everything that's annoying about the

relationship. Hopefully one day I can make

that come true and achieve it and not

repeat the same mistakes I made and learn

from the mistakes I made in the past.

Thanks for listening.