just got back from the funeral

I just got back. I'm back,

I'm back, I'm back.

Oh,

what a nightmare that was. The nightmare

is over.

What you— what, what do you mean whose

funeral? My bloody dad's funeral!

Who, who else's bloody funeral is it going

to— don't you guys even keep up with

what's going on? Whose funeral?

Oh my god.

Um, how about the person that I've been

going on about for the last 4 weeks?

You know, my dad. Jesus Christ, I can't

believe some people don't even know that

my dad died, even though I've been banging

on about it for the last 5 weeks. Whose

funeral? Jesus Christ.

Whose? Whose funeral?

Whose funeral?

I spoke to David Bond and I said, I'm

going to a funeral, and then he was like,

whose funeral? I don't know what you're

talking about. Well, thank you very much.

For not giving a shit. Whose funeral?

Oh, pisses me off. Yeah, obviously 60,000

people don't know because I only got

30,000, 40,000 views when I was talking

about stuff like that. What's the point of

having 90K subscribers and 60,000 of them

don't even watch or Why don't they just

unsubscribe?

Irritating. What are they

waiting for? Waiting,

waiting for what? I don't know. Why, why

stay subscribed if you're not gonna watch?

If you're not gonna watch, unsubscribe,

for fuck's sake. I hate them. Think they

can subscribe to me and then stop

watching. I'm I know them. They're on my

subscriber list. I'm gonna track them

down, make them fucking unsubscribe.

Pisses me off. Why can't we have a purge

button like on Discord? You can purge

people. I want to purge everyone who

hasn't even been on my channel for the

last thirty days. Whose funeral?

No, I'm not angry. I'm not

angry. Did I go to the pub?

Yeah, I just came from the pub. That's why

I'm so pissed off about the pub.

It was horrible. I went to the pub and it

was a horrible nightmare.

I vlogged it, so I've made a vlog on my

GoPro. I just finished editing. It will be

up, um, tonight in about 5

hours' time if the internet is good and I

can upload it.

Oh, you won't believe who was at the

bloody funeral. I'm taking guesses.

Who wants to guess who was at my dad's

funeral? Of all people, why?

Why?

I can't believe she came to my dad's

funeral.

No, not Chris. No, not Dave. Yes,

Victoria.

Fucking Victoria came to my dad's funeral.

I saw her. She was standing way over

there, and I looked to my left and I saw

her beautiful face, and I quickly looked

away. So it was like this: we went

to the funeral, the service was over, and

then we all walked out into this kind of

area where everyone just stood around

chatting, and I chatted to some guy. I

didn't even know who he was, but he put

his hand around my shoulder and he said

that my dad was a great man. I don't even

know who you are, sorry.

And then I spoke to my uncle and spoke to

my cousin. That was it. And then I quickly

left and I stood outside in the rain

because there was nowhere else to go. I

didn't want to stand there because people

kept coming up to me and Chatting. Some

people congratulated me on my marriage

when, um, we're probably going to get

divorced. I didn't say anything. I just

said thanks.

Thanks.

It's kind of awkward. Yeah, thank you for

congratulating me on my marriage, which is

probably over now.

Victoria's dad was there as well. I don't

think her boyfriend was there. I didn't

see any black guys.

Why would she come to my dad's funeral and

ruin it for me? She knows we have bad

history. Why would she come?

Why? She doesn't even know my dad. Well,

she knows him, but she's never spoken to

my dad. I wouldn't go to her dad's

I can't imagine me going to her dad's

funeral. That would just be weird.

So I was in the pub. We were doing the

wake. I hate the way it's called a wake.

Why is it called a wake? What do you mean

wake? Why can't they just

call it the after-funeral party?

And then I was sitting there next to my

sister, and I thought, oh, it'll be okay

since I'm next to my sister.

And then all these people sat around us.

I didn't even know who they were. There

was some girl and then another girl and

some other girl. I don't even know who all

these bloody girls are. My sister was

chatting to them. I guess they're my

sister's friends. I just sat there in

the corner eating chips. No one said

a word to me. No one spoke to me. Sorry.

It was so embarrassing. I felt so stupid

just sitting there. No one spoke to me.

I was just sitting there eating, eating my

chips like this.

And I finished eating my chips and I just

walked out. I didn't even tell anyone I

came home. I just walked out,

left the dining area, walked past

the bar, opened the door and walked out.

Fuck it. Fuck them all. I don't even know

who half of them were. Had no idea who

most of them were, and then bloody

Victoria's dad walked past me, gave me a

funny look. Fuck him too.

Don't know why my— don't know why

Victoria's dad was there. He doesn't even

know anyone. He was just my dad's friend.

He didn't know any of my relatives or any

of my dad's friends. It's just weird.

And then, and then my grandmother's

sister's husband was there,

and he's like 90 years old. It's so weird.

How can my dad die? And, and then my dad's

uncles are still alive, and they're 90

years old, and they probably have kids who

are the same age as my dad who are still

alive. I always just say the same stuff.

Oh Daniel, I'm sorry for your loss. Oh

Daniel, it's a nice service.

So boring. Or they

ask me, oh Daniel, how's Japan? Oh Daniel,

congratulations on your marriage. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, go away.

Irritating.

Oh, I hated it so much.

Oh, thank God it's over. And it

was raining, so I got soaked walking home.

It's so weird when they start

congratulating me on my marriage.

Yeah, thank you very much for

congratulating me on my failed marriage.

Didn't even know who they were. Who are

these people? Who are these

people? Oh, Cesium.

Long time no see. Hello, thank you for the

This is what I wore to the funeral, by the

way. I wore my black hoodie as well. I

think it looks quite nice, quite smart.

Some— most people, actually everyone,

were wearing suits.

Sorry, so rude of me. Everyone was wearing

suit and tie. I was the only one there

wearing a pair of jeans and a hoodie.

I don't care, it was only half an hour.

Go in, go out, in and out.

I never ever want to go to a funeral ever

again. It's just depressing and

full of people I don't even know.

Loads of people were crying. It's not your

dad, why are you crying? I didn't cry.

I held it in. I nearly did. My eyes were

getting a bit watery when the music was

playing. I couldn't believe it. Right in

front of me was a coffin. And inside that

coffin was the person who made

me. The person who made me was in a box.

Oh, neck. Thank you very much.

What is the thing at the top right? Oh,

it's just my CCTV. I'm not sure if it's

working. No, it's frozen.

Stupid thing keeps freezing.

It should be moving now.

Yeah, it's moving.

Oh, thank you, Andy, very much.

It's funny because Andy and Cesium are

probably the oldest, longest viewers

of my channel. Who used to watch me when I

had about 100 subscribers.

Thanks for sticking around.

Actually, Cesium was the person who made

my Discord server and then transferred it

over to me. Just giving you some history.

It's nice to know that there's a couple of

people who still watch me since, since I

had about 50 subs. Oh, Lily Bell,

thank you. What was on the SD card? Um,

congratulations on your marriage,

clinking glasses. I don't know if I want

to say because I, I told you half of what

was on the SD card last time. I lost about

40 subscribers straight away. And I kept,

I kept losing subscribers until I took the

stream down, and then I finally stopped

losing subscribers. Couldn't believe it.

Um, Lily Bell. Oh, I just asked— answered

yours. Kai Salas, thank you.

Congratulations on your marriage. Don't

you mean congratulations on your divorce?

Alo Nev, thank you for the $4.99. Hello to

you too. What was I saying?

Completely forgot. I was saying something.

Yeah, I told everyone last stream what

was on some of the things that were on the

SD card, and that wasn't even the worst of

it. There's a lot worse.

Oh, thank you, Andy, very much.

Um, hi. Hi.

Uh, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I keep

forgetting. Yeah, I lost about 50,

40 subs straight away when I was

explaining what was on the SD card, and

that was just from the 500-odd

people that were watching this stream at

the time. So 50 out of 500 people

unsubscribed after hearing what I said was

on the SD card. That's about 10%,

isn't it? So imagine if I made a video

explaining it and I got 20,000 views.

I'd probably lose 2,000 subs.

10%, 10% of 20,000 is 2,000.

So yeah, I think I'll keep quiet about it.

And then I kept bleeding subs for every

hour that the livestream was up, so I

decided to take it down, and then I

stopped bleeding subs, and then it started

going back up again. I can't believe it.

I don't understand why people would

unsubscribe just because I did, did

something naughty. Yeah, I do naughty

things sometimes. I'm not a perfect angel.

Please don't assume that I'm I'm the best

person in the world who does everything

right. I don't. I fuck up

a lot, big time. And I've never really

pretended to be a good— goody-two-shoes

good person. So you don't have

to uphold me to such high standards.

Don't make a video, just tell us now. If I

tell you, I'll lose another 100 subs.

Don't make a video, just tell us now.

I told you last time.

By the way, I don't think my dad's

cremated yet because, you know, the little

rolling machine— what they do is there's

like a raised platform At the front of the

chapel, they put— they raise the coffin,

lift it up onto it, and then at the end of

the service when everyone leaves, the

little rolling things— I don't know if

they're supposed to turn on or if they're

manual rolling things. It must be

automated. I can't imagine them pushing

the coffin into the furnace,

but apparently the machinery was broken

and they couldn't do it. So they had to

take my dad to Canterbury, which is where

Victoria lives. Coincidence? I think not.

They had to take my dad to Canterbury to a

different chapel, which is quite far away.

Canterbury isn't close. So even

my dad's funeral doesn't go to plan,

doesn't go well.

You would have thought that they would

check to see if everything was working.

Oh, Yumi FMB, thank you. These people

unsubscribing for you are weakling. Good

riddance. All of us that remain still

support you. Thanks.

One person wrote in the comments, um,

something like, I can't handle this

channel anymore. You're a disgusting

person. I'm unsubscribing. What do you

mean you can't handle my channel? If you

can't handle my channel, how are you

supposed to handle the real world? Get off

the internet if you can't handle my

channel, which is pretty tame. I think my

channel is pretty tame. It's not

like I'm murdering people.

She said, can't handle your channel

anymore. You're disgusting.

I'm unsubscribing.

Well, I'm so sorry for hurting your

feelings. Oh look, there's a black cat.

Who's that pussycat? Oh, it looks like

Toffee. Oh, it's that black stray cat that

beat Toffee up. I can't believe it's still

Who saw that? Who saw that cat?

Last night was horrible as well. My uncle

from— my Malaysian uncle and auntie who

live in Vietnam came all the way from

Vietnam to come and see us. So,

uh, they came and their son came.

And my uncle and auntie from next door

came over for dinner, so there were about

10 people last night. It was horrible. I

sat there, didn't talk to anyone. They

tried to talk to me. They said, how's

Japan? And then my cousin said, uh, asked

me what games I was playing. I just said

Rainbow Six. That was it. I just don't

feel like making small talk.

Well, I never— I never feel like making

small talk anyway.

Uh, can you stop spamming SD card,

please? Oh, it's so depressing listening

to what everyone is doing in their life.

My cousin from Malaysia, he just finished

his law degree and now he can become a

barrister. I don't think he can become a

lawyer yet. But he just finished

a 4-year-long law degree course at Bristol

University. And then my other cousin, who

has gotten married and has a kid now,

he's only in his early 30s. He works as an

academic in a university and he teaches—

he does something about rocks. I don't

know. My uncle

and auntie were explaining it to my mum.

They sound so proud. They said, our son,

he, he gets rocks and he crushes them in

between diamonds and then fires lasers at

them. And he just

got his PhD. Makes me feel so

depressed. And what am I doing? I make

stupid videos on the internet and everyone

hates me and I can't even get over 30k

views. I can't even get 100K subs.

And then I've got bloody cousins who have

PhDs and degrees in law.

I hate it. I hate it when everyone's so

successful. And he's only 23,

my cousin, and he's so mature.

I remember the last time I saw him was

2012 when I went to Malaysia. That means

he was about 16. So he went from

16-year-old kid to qualified lawyer in 7

years. What did I become in 6 years? I

went from being an unemployed bum to,

um, the most hated YouTuber.

That everyone doesn't like and doesn't

want to associate themselves with.

Ah, this is so depressing.

I wouldn't feel so bad if they were

unemployed as well and losers.

Everyone says, why don't you go to school,

Daniel? What? It's not too late, Daniel,

to go to university and study something.

That's not the point. I don't want to do

anything. I don't want to study. What

would I study? Law? Can you imagine me

studying law? Couldn't give a shit about

law.

I'd rather work in McDonald's and have to

learn all the different laws. I don't

understand who, who would want to study

law. It just looks so boring. So apart

from the money, do people actually

enjoy studying law?

I think 90% of lawyers are just in it for

the money. Like, do they— are they really

passionate about Law.

Come on, there's no way anyone could

genuinely be interested in law. It's so

boring.

I don't want to do anything. That's the

point. There's absolutely nothing

I want to learn. I already know everything

that I, I need to know, that I want to

know. There's nothing I want to know.

I know enough, and I'm fine with that.

I know there's so much knowledge in the

world that I could be learning, but I just

don't really care, to be honest. Doesn't

bother me. I don't mind if I don't know

about it. Why do I need to know about it?

So I could, I could learn how a microwave

is constructed and the science behind

microwaves. I just don't really care.

So I won't look things up like that.

There's absolutely nothing I want to

learn.

I put so much effort into learning

Japanese and Korean. Where did that get

me? Nowhere.

Complete waste of time. I might as well

not have studied anything because right

now I'm using nothing that I've learned.

I'm not using maths. I'm not using science

in my daily life. What am I using? I'm

just using my mouth and I go blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah on the livestream

and on videos.

And then people keep saying I'm good at

drawing, but I don't care about drawing

anymore. I don't think it's fun. I don't

really want to become good at it. It's

really difficult to make money from

drawing.

I don't know,

I just see all— I see all these relatives

of mine and they're so successful and they

do all these complicated sounding things,

boring sounding things.

I guess I should have told my sister that

I went home. I didn't tell anyone. Maybe I

should message her. She wouldn't even

notice. She's too busy mingling with her

friends. I didn't have— I didn't have a

single friend. Everyone's so grown up. My

other cousin was talking to my sister,

joking and laughing. Yes, easy for you to

joke and laugh. Your dad didn't just die.

I just feel so dumb sitting there all by

Hamza Hak, thank you. Become a translator.

I tried that, I got banned.

From translating. I keep— I get banned

from everything. I tried making an eBay

business, got banned. Tried translating,

I got banned. I tried stock imagery.

Who knows about stock imagery? You take

photos and then you upload it to a

website, and then people might buy your

photos, and then you get paid. I was on

Shutterstock, Dreamstime, CanStock Photo.

Got banned on those as well.

At least I didn't get banned on YouTube

Okay, I'll tell you why I got banned from

translating. I was on that website called

Fiverr and, um,

Sometimes people ask me to translate

really difficult things like

cryptocurrency or business documents which

are 20 pages long that I don't even

understand in English. So how am I

supposed to translate that into Japanese?

So what I did was I just copy and pasted

it all into Google Translate. I'm gonna

lose subscribers now. And I just copy and

pasted it into Google Translate. And I

sent it back to them, and, um,

a couple of them realized and weren't very

happy and reported me, and then I got

banned. I didn't think they would notice.

They said, um, excuse me, I asked my

Japanese friend to check the translation

for me, and he said your translation is

not very good. And I said, what are you

talking about? I translated it myself.

I'm fluent in Japanese. And then he made

me give him a refund, and then he

gave me a 1-star rating.

I didn't think— hey, you have a Japanese

friend? I said, well, you should ask your

Japanese friend to translate it then, if

he's so good.

I don't know about cryptocurrency. I can't

translate that, and I'm not gonna waste my

time, time learning about it. It'll take

me an entire year to translate 20 pages of

cryptocurrency into Japanese. I don't

even understand it in English.

And I translated a few comics, hentai

stuff. I showed a page of my translating

work on a livestream last year in— was it

this year or last year? Last year in

January. And then I got a strike for

sexual content, got banned from streaming

for 3 months. Some idiot asked me,

Daniel, what kind of translating you

doing? And then I said, I'll show you. I

showed my iPad and it was some sex scene.

It wasn't even a full-on sex scene. And

then I got reported and I got a strike for

sexual content.

1st of January 2018.

What a great way to begin the year.

Ow! Why did they make this so hard to

open?

Why didn't I just reject the request?

Because it was good money and I

thought I could get away with it, but I

didn't and I got punished.

I had to suffer the consequences.

SD card. Oh,

thank you for the super chats. I'll donate

ten more dollars if you tell us what's

what the really bad thing on the SD card

was.

Ten more dollars. Ten more dollars.

Didn't want to talk about. I do like

money,

but I'll lose so many subs. And there's

how many people here?

What if I just— what if I DM'd you

instead of telling you in front of

everyone? I'm scared. I don't want to dip

back down into 88K subs. I went back down

to 88K and it only, only just Today it

went back up to 89K.

89K. Whoops.

If I tell you, I'm gonna lose at least 100

subs just from the people listening right

here.

I don't know.

Should I? It's pretty bad.

Is it worth $10?

I don't know.

Okay, let me think how to word it.

Um,

DM me then.

Well, well, basically in

2000 and— 2017,

November, a couple months after I met my

wife, uh, I hooked

up with a Japanese girl and we went to a

hotel and we had sex.

And I may have filmed something

and then put it onto my SD card.

Fuck, now I'm gonna lose subs.

So 8,947. I swear this is gonna put me

back down to 88K. So this is why I

said I don't think it's cheating. I mean,

I don't think it's illegal because we

weren't married. If we were married, then

it, it would count as adultery, which is

illegal in Japan, but we weren't married

That's not even bad. Well, I thought it

was pretty bad. I mean, what could be

Tell us everything that is on the SD card

now. Lol. Thank you, T-Pop Fever.

That was it, basically. There— well,

there's a lot more on it, but I can't

remember, and I don't have it with me, so

I can't check. There was probably

more nudes. From different people.

I told you it's not really that

surprising, you know, it's just your

bog-standard cheating stuff.

But it was a long time ago, it was 2 years

ago, and we weren't even married.

And I'm just trying to do damage control

now.

And it was only 2 months after we started

dating, so it's not like this— the

relationship was super serious yet.

Smash that subscribe button, everyone!

We're only 88,974,022

subs away from overtaking PewDiePie.

Thank you. I might go to Brighton to

look for PewDiePie. What do you think?

Tracking down PewDiePie, and then we can

make a vlog.

No, I told you it's nothing child-related.

I'm not a weirdo.

I'm not a pedo.

Do I go on 4chan? No, I don't even know

how to use it. I tried going on it and it

was just a bunch of links and images. I

didn't understand what it was about. I

keep telling people I'm not a pedophile.

I'm not interested in kids.

I like women, adult women.

Children don't stimulate me in any

way at all. They just irritate me because

they're so annoying.

I've only ever had 2 girlfriends who were

younger than me out of 7 girlfriends.

I saw PewDiePie in Brighton before. If I

see him again, I'll tell him about your

channel. I think he already knows about my

channel because I was chatting to Elvis

the Alien. I don't know if I've talked

about this because I kind of forgot about

it. Um, when,

when Nobita gave me the copyright strike,

I kind of panicked and I contacted Elvis

the Alien asking for advice. And we

started chatting. We started chatting

and Elvis told me that PewDiePie— he asked

me, did you know PewDiePie is a fan of

your channel? And I said no, and then he

said yeah,

because Elvis and PewDiePie also chat to

each other for some reason. I didn't know

Elvis the Alien and PewDiePie were

friends. No,

don't, don't clip, um, what's on the SD

Yeah, Elvis the Alien told me that, um,

PewDiePie contacted him after he made the

Asian Onision video, saying that he was

surprised that Elvis made that video on me

because he watches my channel. So that's

pretty cool. PewDiePie knows of my

channel.

I've never been to Brighton before. Maybe

it'll be fun. We can go on adventures now.

No one cares about what I'm doing. All my

relatives are talking about their sons and

their daughters and all the amazing things

they're doing. Oh, what's so-and-so doing

now? Oh, what's, what's your son doing

now? No one gives a shit about what I'm

doing. No one ever goes, oh Daniel, what

are you doing now? Uh, Daniel, what are

you doing for a job now? It's like no one

cares. Oh,

I, I just make videos on the internet,

no big deal.

I can't open my GoPro case.

Oh, thank you, Kai Salus.

Yes. So do you find strangers on the

internet warmer than your

family? Yeah, kind of, because at least

you guys show an interest in what I'm

doing. Then you, you ask me questions

like, hey Daniel, what's going on? Hey

Daniel, what happened? My family don't

give a shit about me. They don't even ask

me what's going on in my life. So I could

be, I could be running some kind of

multi-million dollar YouTube channel like

Chris Broad does. I could have a million

subs, they wouldn't even know because they

didn't even ask.

No one cares about me. I just end up

standing there in the corner looking like

a loser. Everyone's chit-chatting.

About rubbish.

I sat on this table. There was some girl

in front of me, a girl next to me, some

guy with brown hair. I didn't even know

who they were. Who the hell are you? Who

are you?

It should have been close family only,

no random people.

It's just embarrassing. You should

go with your sister to Brighton and do a

vlog, bro. Grinning face with big eyes.

That'll be so sick. Uh,

I don't know. Uh, I asked my sister

if she would like to do a bike trip to

Sutton Valence, which is where we used to

live as kids.

That's why I bought a GoPro. I bought a

GoPro and I bought this bicycle grip

thing to put the GoPro on like this. Then

I thought I'd do a nice little bike trip

to my childhood home and me and Chris's

school. I could go— this is Sutton

Valence Primary School where me and Chris,

we were best buddies, went to school. Me

and Chris have many things in common. We

both fell in love with Japan and we both

became YouTubers. Chris is just a little

bit more successful than me.

But we always used to stay up late at

night dreaming about moving to Japan.

No, I never knew him at school. He was in

the year below me. I was

friends with a guy called Ricky who was in

the same class as he was. Imagine if Chris

was my next-door neighbor. That would be

weird. He lived in Langley. Shh,

no, we're not allowed to tell people where

he came from. He doesn't like it. He told

me he's not very happy about people

knowing where he's from.

Yeah, well, I'm not very happy when people

say let's go for a drink and then they

don't go for a drink with me.

I got lots of attachments. I got this new

tripod for the GoPro,

and where is it?

You get all these little screws.

Oh, I got a chest strap as well. I didn't

show you my chest strap. Where is it?

Who wants to see my chest strap? It's

Look, you put it over here and then Wrap

it round and then you buckle it in. Can

you see? Oh, I feel,

I feel really macho. I feel like, I feel

like what's his name, John McCain from Die

Hard with his gun strap.

No, it's just a GoPro thingy.

And then what you do is It's a bit tight.

Okay, and then— I can't

open it, it hurts.

You open this and then you put the GoPro

in here. You can even livestream

from the GoPro, which is pretty cool. If I

had good internet, I could stream from the

GoPro. And then you put it in here, you

see, close it up.

Oh, and you get one of these screws.

Oh, you have to get that end bit off and

screw it in, and then look, you're ready

It's pretty cool, isn't it? I can do

first-person cooking with Daniel, and I

could do some bike trips maybe.

Or I could secretly record people if I get

a special jacket so I can hide it a little

bit. It's a bit obvious though that I've

got a camera stuck to my chest.

It's a little bit obvious.

How many subs did I lose? Oh, I didn't

lose any. I actually gained 13. That's

weird. I thought I'd lose a load of subs

if I told everyone what was on the SD

I was thinking about wearing this to the

funeral, but I thought it'd be a bit

weird. Look, can't even tell that I'm

filming you. Hello,

hello, I'm Daniel. And then I'm secretly

filming them.

I think it looks pretty cool.

Look,

should have worn the GoPro on the head

strap for the funeral. I would have looked

so stupid. Imagine having a GoPro on my

forehead sitting there.

What if I go into the petrol station

wearing this? The Nepalese guy is still

working there. I walked past the petrol

station when I was coming home. I saw his

car out there. It's a very recognizable

car. It's one of those Mazdas with

the bumpy backsides. It looks

kind of ugly. I can't believe he's still

working there. Jesus Christ.

Walk into us.

That would be pretty cool if I could do

that. I'll wear a hoodie and I walk into

the school. I kind of look like a student

anyway.

So that means the Nepalese guy, when I was

working there, which was 2 years ago, he

said to me he's been working there for 2

years. So it's been 2 years, so 2 2 is 4.

He's been working there for 4 years.

Talk about dead-end jobs.

Unless he gets promoted to a manager.

And he was 20— how old was he? I was 28

2 years ago. He was about 26, I think, so

he's 28 now.

Saw his car outside.

That's so depressing. I couldn't imagine

working at that petrol station for 4

years. I worked there for 9 months and I

had enough. It's just so boring.

Have I talked to my wife? I did actually.

Uh, she sent me a bunch of messages.

I haven't replied yet because I'm not sure

what to say. She said— she

said— I

said, do you want to get divorced? And

then she said, we should do it. You had

been lying to me, cheating with random

girls. No apologies, no trust. How do we

make up? I don't see the benefits. You can

have— Oh,

thank you, Lei. Yeah, I'm feeling a lot

better now. That's not what I meant,

but okay, Elliot. What? Uh,

she said, you can have sex with random

girls, your dreams come true. After we

divorce, you will be free. I'm not really

sure what to say.

I guess I could either say Okay, let's get

divorced. Or I could say, please don't,

I'm sorry, I'll be a good boy.

I'm not sure which option to choose.

I don't know.

Because I

don't know how to explain it.

I don't 100% not want her in my

life. I do like her, and we have

a nice apartment. We've done— we have a

lot of memories together. I want to be

with her, but then at the same time,

being with her prevents me from doing

things that I want to do. I'm glad. Text

me when you're done with your stream. Uh,

okay, I'll text you. Thank you very much,

baby. I'm not sure what to do though.

So sometimes I think maybe we should just

end it because Well,

I don't think we're making each other

happy, and don't

know, it's tricky. It's a tricky one.

I don't know if I want that kind of life

anymore.

Oh, why does life have to be so difficult?

Maybe it was a mistake getting married.

Oh, thank you, Jesse Real.

Daniel, maybe you'd be happier in an open

relationship. You don't seem to be the

type that likes to settle down. Don't put

all your eggs in one basket. I'm not sure

if I would like an open relationship. I

don't think I'd be happy knowing that my

partner is sleeping with other men. That

would just be weird, and I'd feel kind of

hurt by that.

Divorce her so I can hook you up with my

pet snake. Your pet snake?

I saw a man having intercourse with a

snake once. That was interesting. I do

want an intimate special relationship with

one person.

That would be nice, I think.

Although having multiple partners would

also kind of be nice, maybe. But that's

not really something that you could do

long-term. It's like a short-term thing.

I don't know. I don't know what I want,

really. One, one day I want mashed potato,

the next day I want to have pot noodle.

Not sure.

Will I turn gay and like men from now?

Probably not,

although I do think about it sometimes.

I don't think that I could be gay.

It's just, it's just too, too strange for

me personally.

Do I stream on Twitch? I used to, but then

I came back to YouTube.

Haven't gotten a strike so far this year.

Fingers crossed. I got 2 strikes last

year. I got a strike for showing hentai,

then I got a strike for showing a

cockroach. But so far this year, I haven't

gotten any strikes, which is good.

I'm trying to be very careful. I'm being

extra, extra careful now. I don't show

anything that's risky or shocking.

Oh, by the way, one of my videos, my older

videos titled, uh, My Wife Physically

Assaulted Me, that got demonetized. And

then it said confirmed by manual review,

which is weird because I never requested a

manual review. Usually you don't get a

manual review unless you press request,

which I did not. So something very fishy

is going on. Someone at YouTube is poking

his nose into my channel and just

demonetizing stuff. And I don't even know

why that video got demonetized. It was

basically me just sitting in front of the

camera saying, me and my wife had an

argument and then she got a bit physical

and she strangled me and she hit my head.

That was it. I was just talking. I didn't

show any violence. And that got

demonetized. Even talking about something

violent can get you demonetized now. Even

describing the act of violence is

enough to get you demonetized on YouTube

now. So just by saying my wife strangled

me and hit my head means that I don't get

ad revenue. Well,

the joke's on them because I already got

all the money out of that video. There's

no point demonetizing it a year later. A

year later, no one's watching it anyway.

I'm not getting any money off it anyway.

I get 99% of the money in the first 2

days, first 3 or 4 days. So if it gets

demonetized a long time after that, it

doesn't really affect me.

Still, it's a bit worrying. It's a bit

strange. It's a bit random. I don't like

it. I don't like surprises.

What's my wife's LINE ID? No,

you're not allowed to sleep with her.

She's still my wife.

She's forever mine. It's still really

weird because like I said before, I didn't

even request a review and

it says confirmed manually. How?

Why? I didn't request a review.

Why are you manually reviewing it when I

didn't request it? Really, really weird.

You could live off of streaming.

Um, I don't think I could. If I

was only doing streaming, then I'd be

completely dependent on donations, which

is a bit scary. If it was like today,

um, today's been quite good. You've been

very generous. I got quite a few Super

but I think I prefer to rely on ads than

donations because, you know,

then, um, don't know, I feel like I'm

begging for money.

I'm not sure about it. At least if I'm

getting money from ads, then it's not

really money out of your pocket. It's

money out of these big advertising

companies' pockets. Big corporations.

I'm not sure who's advertising on my

channel. I haven't— I have YouTube

Premium, so I don't see ads.

How was the funeral? The funeral service

was good. It was about half

an hour. We had a— what's it called— a

woman. She's called a celebrant because my

dad's not religious. We, we went for a

non-religious service, and instead of a

bishop or priest or whatever they have,

we have a celebrant. And she just read

out the things people prepared,

and then we had to stand up and sing. I

didn't sing. We sang Bridge Under Troubled

Water, and then she read

out a poem my sister wrote, and she

talked about my dad.

Did you cry? I didn't cry. I nearly did.

My eyes were watering a bit, but I managed

to keep it under control. I didn't really

want to cry in front of everyone. It's

just a bit embarrassing. I feel a bit

embarrassed crying in front of everyone

like that. I could hear a lot of people

sniffing in the background. I was sitting

at the front with my sister and mum. I

could hear a lot of sniffing behind us.

I don't know, I, I feel like I want

to be alone to grieve and to feel sad and

to reflect. I don't really want to be

surrounded by people.

It's still strange seeing his car out

there. You can see it in the corner.

It's just shocking how sudden it was.

It was just so sudden and unexpected.

Usually, you know, you have a 90-year-old

person, and when, when you have such an

old person, you start thinking, I wonder

when he's gonna die. How come he's not

dead yet? He's so old. And then when they

do die, you're not really surprised by it

because they're so old. But when someone

like my dad, who's fit and healthy and he

was only 64, and then he— it just happened

so suddenly like that, it's just a big

Because we have all these relatives who

are 80 years old, 90 years old, we always

thought that Dad would live until 80.

Until at least 80. I mean, his dad, my

granddad, lived until 81, and he lived

a life of poverty, and he had a terrible

diet. He had bacon and cheese all the

time. He had a terrible diet, he had no

money, he lived in almost poverty. He

lived in this horrible house all by

himself when this house was falling apart.

And was cold and rotting.

He had PTSD from the war. He had

depression. He had all of this stuff, and

he still lived until 81. And then my dad,

who's healthy, he has money, he lives in a

nice warm comfy house, he has modern

medicine of 2019. My granddad died

in 1999.

He didn't even make it into the 2000s.

It's just weird.

Yeah, my dad's immune system has always

been weak ever since he was a child. He

always had chest infections, and he would

get the flu or get colds a lot.

He was ill quite often, and when he got

the flu, he would always get it really

badly.

Same thing happened to him in 2012. He got

the flu, his kidneys failed, his liver

nearly failed. He had to go into hospital

for a few weeks. But that was,

that was 7 years ago. He was a bit

younger, so he was stronger. It's pretty

much the same thing— flu viral attack.

The only difference is last time it

happened, he didn't get sepsis.

You never know how you're gonna go.

He was worried about prostate cancer

because he got prostate cancer. He was

doing all this research and he planned out

a special anti-cancer diet. He was

tracking his blood, blood tests, PSA

levels. He had a little graph on on Excel

spreadsheet and he was tracking his blood

levels. He was really

into it, into looking up stuff about it

and researching it.

You put all this effort and time into one

thing and then you get taken by something

else. That's usually what happens.

Did he become vegan to avoid cancer? He

didn't become vegan, he just stopped

eating processed meat. He still had roast

chicken or roast beef, roast pork, roast

lamb. He just stopped eating junk food.

Do I love my dad? Yeah, I think I do.

I think I did love him. I never told him I

loved him. Didn't talk to

him much. But I think we had an unspoken

understanding of how we felt towards each

We didn't talk much because, I don't know,

I did— I talked to him over Christmas a

little bit. I told him about my YouTube

channel. We, we talked about how

people are interested in channels and they

lose interest and then channels die.

And then we talked about, you know,

trying to Trying to make videos

about things that people would be

interested in, stuff like that.

I don't really have much else to talk

Oh, someone's here. Who's that?

I think people are going to start coming

back now from the pub.

You should have seen the A20 when we were

going to the funeral. We held up the

traffic so badly because the hearse was

driving at the front. They were driving

quite slowly, and then a bloody tractor

was in front of the hearse, which was

driving even slower. And we couldn't

overtake the tractor because we were

driving so slowly and there was traffic

coming the other way. And there was so

much traffic behind us. I looked behind

and there was just— all you could see were

car headlights in, in the distance.

We must have blocked up the road really

The tractor should have pulled over into

one of the lanes at the side instead of

going on.

Maybe he didn't realize that it was a

coffin car.

Why did I take down so many of my old

videos? Because I was scared some of them

might get me a strike. One of them had a

dead fly in it, so I quickly took that

down. I got a strike for killing a

cockroach, so showing a dead fly might get

me a strike as well.

I took down all the Taiwan videos as well.

I wish I didn't. Should have left them up.

They were quite interesting.

I took a video of the hearse. I'm not sure

if I should leave it in today's vlog. Do

you think I should? I don't think it's

bad. It's just showing the car. From

behind, and it looks pretty cool. I filmed

it in a nice way.

Why did I take down the Taiwan video?

I'm not sure. I was just

scared. I took things down that I

shouldn't have taken down.

I might have said something that sounded a

bit racist towards Taiwanese people or

hateful, and I was scared I might get a

hate strike, hate speech strike.

If the license plate is shown, no. Why

can't I show the license plate?

Everyone can see the license plate when

they go outside anyway.

When I was making videos in Taiwan and I

filmed us riding the motorbikes, my

Taiwanese friend, she kept telling me not

to show the license plate or to block out

the license plate. Why? What can you do

with a license plate?

You could Google it and find out who owns

it. So what? Then what? What are you gonna

Nosy people online who hate you will go

digging up personal info on you. They

already know. And I wouldn't have personal

info of me linked to the funeral

car's license plate. It will just have the

funeral company name attached to it.

I already doxxed myself ages ago.

They might start pranking the owners of

the car. Yeah, people started pranking the

petrol station, which was, um, pretty

funny actually. There's recordings of me

answering the prank call,

and I sound so stupid. I thought it was a

real person. I didn't know you could get

these recorded prank calls on the

internet. I had no idea those things even

existed. And they would do some kind of

stupid accent, and then I was saying, you

know, your Indian accent's really bad.

Why'd you keep phoning? I felt so— I feel

so stupid now talking to a machine.

During his funeral, one of my uncles hired

a horse and carriage to carry his coffin.

As the coffin was carried out of his old

house, the horse got nervous and started

peeing and creating this huge puddle.

It'd be embarrassing if it just started—

if it started taking a shit. In the middle

of the road, that would be embarrassing.

Can you upload the deleted videos to a new

channel? I don't have them anymore. I

didn't even save them. I deleted them

But thank you for the $2.

Can you re-upload the videos about your

exes? I wish I could, but I deleted those

as well, stupidly.

I'd like to remake them, but then people