[2023-10-04] why my life became so boring [laJgFUaYU6g]

So recently I've noticed more and more

people have been calling me boring or

saying, wow, Daniel got so boring, which

leads me to believe that at one point I

guess I must have not been boring or I was

interesting, otherwise they wouldn't think

I'm boring now and they wouldn't have

subscribed to my channel. And I'm kind of

annoyed because My channel— I mean, my

channel is called Hiding in My Room, and

I've always been pretty upfront with how I

like to live my life and what I enjoy in

life, which is to be in my room and to do

video games and play games and mess around

with tech like phones and cameras and do a

bit of traveling here and there. And

that's like what I stand for, and that's

me, and that's what I do. But for some

reason, I have over 100,000 subscribers

who YouTube has given me. I didn't really

go out there and think, okay, I want these

types of viewers. I'm gonna make content

to capture this kind of audience. Never

really set out to do that. I just made

content, put it out there, and saw what

happened. And YouTube decided to give me

an audience based on some of my content

that I made a couple years ago where, you

know, my life was kind of hectic and crazy

and random and toxic. And now I have an

audience who want content that is crazy

and random and hectic and toxic, and they

don't care about tech or me talking in my

room or, you know, anything else that

isn't craziness or randomness or

hecticness or toxicness. And

unfortunately, I don't really want to live

a life where it's just like toxic and

hectic and chaotic all the time with

fighting and cheating. That's not really

the kind of life I want to live. I want to

live a life where I've got a table and a

computer and I've got a fish tank and I

don't have to keep moving every few months

and don't have to keep changing women

every few months. Because as great and

exciting as that may sound, it's very

mentally stressful and financially taxing.

And because I'm not doing that anymore, I

guess people got bored and they stopped

watching, which is kind of frustrating.

You know, it's kind of like being married

to someone that you don't really

understand why you're married to them.

Like you got nothing in common with, you

don't share any interests. You kind of

just ignore each other, but you live in

the same house and you don't really know

why you're married in the first place. I

don't know, maybe because you're Indian

and then your parents chose your marriage

partner for you. And that's what it's kind

of like, you know, being stuck with

111,000 subscribers now who don't seem to

care at all about me or don't have any

interest in what I'm interested in. It

makes me think, why are you subbed to me

then? Like, unsub then. But they don't

unsub and they don't watch. So it's like

really annoying because now I'm stuck with

this massive channel staring at me. Well,

it's supposed to be massive, but then it

just feels dead because, I mean, it's

basically dead at this point. And I feel

like YouTube has really failed me and

failed the subscribers because they

recommended me— I mean, they recommended

them my channel, which they thought was

interesting for a brief moment of time,

and then they don't find interesting

anymore. And then they gave me a load

of subscribers who are not interested in

the things that I'm interested in. Which

is, you know, staying in my room and

talking about tech and gaming and doing a

bit of travel and maybe talking about

women now and then. Things would have been

great if YouTube had given me an audience

based off of who I actually am and who are

interested in the things I'm interested

in. Like, it would be great if I had an

audience who just wanted to hear me talk

in my room and are also interested in tech

and phones and cameras and stuff. And

maybe a bit of travel. I don't know why I

have like this massive audience, or had

one, who only wanted like super high crazy

octane toxic random

drama kind of content, which is completely

unsustainable on a financial and mental

level. I don't know why I got stuck with

all those people, and it was basically

impossible to keep those people pleased

because they— it was like nothing was

enough for those people. They just wanted

more, more, more until I had nothing left

to give. And I honestly don't really want

my life to go back to how it was when I

was married with Chihiro. Maybe my life

was more entertaining, more interesting

then, and it seemed like it was more fun

because of all the craziness, but I

actually like my life more now because

it's not crazy and it's stable and there's

not fighting and cheating going on every

week, and I don't feel like I'm

under all this pressure by tens of

thousands of people to do something crazy

like mess up my life. And I don't really

want to go back to those days. I'm not

saying my life now is super mega fun or

anything, but that's, that's what life is

supposed to be like. Life is not supposed

to be super mega fun all the time. It's

supposed to be boring. It's supposed to be

stable. Like, I think the most important

thing about life is not fun, it's

stability and having like a stable place

to live. And a routine in life and having

a few hobbies that you enjoyed doing and

maybe work and school to go to and some

kind of productive activity you can spend

time on. Yeah, there was a part of my life

during 2018 and '19 where I was willing to

do absolutely anything to chase views. I

was willing to ruin people's lives,

destroy Chihiro's life, break her heart,

cheat on her, do anything, upset my mum,

my family. I just didn't care because I

Deep down in my heart, I honestly felt

like I have a really good chance of

becoming like a massive YouTuber with 2

million subscribers, and I could become

super mega famous on YouTube. All I gotta

do is keep doing this crazy stuff, and

eventually something's gonna go, go super

viral, get like 10 million views, and then

PewDiePie is gonna react to me, and then

I'm set for life. Obviously that never

worked out, and that never happened, and I

realized, yeah, I kind of just made a fool

of myself. And hurt a lot of people for

basically nothing, or for chump change.

And my dreams of becoming a big famous

YouTuber never really happened, and I kind

of accept it's never gonna happen now.

So, I mean, if you're gonna guarantee me

10 bazillion views, then yeah, maybe I

would go and do something crazy. But come

on, let's be realistic here. That's— it's

not gonna happen, and no one can guarantee

views on YouTube. It's completely random.

I was so greedy and desperate for views.

I honestly didn't care about anyone around

me. I didn't care who I hurt or who I

upset or if it even hurt myself. I just

thought about all the views and all the

money. But it's been 3, 4 years since

then, and I feel like I've matured a bit

and I've kind of calmed down a bit. And I

realized that, yeah, views are not

everything. Actually, I prioritize a

comfy, stable life. Much more than like a

crazy clout-chasing,

view-hungry life. So I guess I'd say that

the main reason why I've become so boring

now compared to back then is because back

then I was actively trying to destroy

everything for views because it was funny.

My viewers found it funny. It made for

good content if my life was falling apart.

So I kind of liked it when bad stuff

happened. And my life was getting

destroyed and people were kicking me out

or betraying me or trying to blackmail

me because it was all content. And I

thought, well, if it's— if it's like

really bad, then that's even more views.

So I was like— a part of me was like

self-consciously trying to sabotage my own

life because I thought it was good for the

channel and it brought views, and I

actively did dumb stuff. To try and get in

trouble because it was funny. But now I'm

doing the opposite where I'm trying— I'm

actively trying not to do dumb stuff.

And if something stupid does happen

because, I don't know, it was my mistake,

then I try not to make a big fuss about

it. I just say, okay, maybe I'll just do a

stream and I'll say, okay, yeah, this dumb

thing happened. Like, I accidentally moved

in with this Korean woman. It's not a big

deal. I snuck out. You know, I didn't make

like a big fuss. I didn't make a big show

about it and make like 5-video part

series, which I would have done a couple

years ago. But this time I just, you know,

kept it on the low. So if you're still

hanging around or waiting around for

something crazy to happen, I'm not gonna

say something crazy is never, never gonna

happen because, you know, it might happen.

But I'm not gonna make it happen or like

artificially force it to happen. If it

happens, it happens, and then I'll make a

video explaining what happened. And then I

guess you'll get your payoff because you

were patient and you waited waited around

for the crazy thing to happen. But if you

unsubbed because you got fed up waiting

for the crazy thing to happen, then how

are you gonna know when this crazy thing

happens— happened? You might not know

unless you actually just come back to the

channel, channel manually and decide to

check up on me. But by that time you might

have forgotten, so you might as well just

stay subbed and wait if that's what you

really care about. Then unsub, I guess. I

don't know what my point is, but I do have

some plans. I plan for this year to go

back home for the UK for Christmas, to the

UK, but that's going to be in a few

months, and I might do some Christmas

vlogs. But you guys don't seem to like

vlogs. I've been looking at my analytics,

and I've made a variety of different

videos— ones where I sit down, I just talk

non-stop like this one, ones where it's

purely vlogs and I'm like holding the

camera and showing you where we are and

what we're doing, and I'm giving you some

basic commentary like, wow, look at that

mountain, it's so big. Wow, it's so

fluffy. This river is so cold.

Okay, my vlogging commentary is not very

good because I get overwhelmed with all

the stuff that's going on and I don't

really have the chance to have any deep

thoughts or get my gather my thoughts

together. So I'm not very good at coming

up with commentary on the spot, which is

why I don't really have great things to

say when I'm outside vlogging. And, um,

you guys don't seem to like food either.

So I've been looking at my YouTube

analytics and it actually tells you when

the viewers lose interest in a video.

It's like a little line that goes up and

down, and it always plummets whenever

there's food or I'm outside and I'm doing

like a vlog, and then it picks right back

up when it's just me talking. So I'm gonna

take it you love it when I'm just talking

like this, but you hate it when I show

food, and you hate it when I'm outside,

because it's like the parts when I'm

outside or showing food just plummet, and

then the bits when I'm talking, it comes

back up and it's good again. So I don't

know how much you'd care about a Christmas

vlog. So yeah, it's been kind of difficult

and tricky trying to figure out what you

guys want watch, but I think I understand

better now. And some people keep saying

stuff like, why don't you go and do street

interviews? Which I find so funny because

you do realize I'm terrified of talking to

strangers, and that's the whole reason why

I hide in my room is because I'm scared of

people. So how am I gonna go out and do

street interviews? Oh, and by the way,

I'm still kind of sick. Remember last

Thursday I was complaining about not

feeling great. Well, over the weekend I

had the worst flu. I think it's probably

the worst flu I've ever had. Last time I

had flu with a temperature and a fever was

back in 2018 when I was in Japan and I

actually nearly lost my vision and nearly

fainted. I lost my vision in the

supermarket and then I fainted and then

Japanese people helped me. And they got me

drinks and they sat me down. And then the

security man actually walked me home.

And, um, it's been worse than that.

I mean, I didn't faint this time because I

stayed inside the whole time this time,

but it was pretty bad. I had the worst

headache ever. It was so painful.

I had to take medicine. Usually I don't

take medicine because I'm like, you know,

I try to heal naturally, but I just had to

take some. Some medicine to get rid of

this headache because it was so bad. And I

had this really burning hot fever for

maybe 2 nights, nearly 3 nights. And the

fever finally went away and the headache's

gone now. But I still feel kind of dizzy

and I feel kind of low on energy. I

haven't exercised or worked out since last

Thursday, so I'm feeling really weak. I

need to start doing my push-ups and doing

my weightlifting again to rebuild what

I've lost. But I just, I feel so out of

energy. I don't know what I got. It was

some kind of flu, like influenza, some

kind of virus. It was the worst feeling

I've ever had. And now I'm starting to get

better and I'm starting to feel good

again. I just, I can't explain how good it

is to not be sick. When you're not sick

and you're healthy, you don't even think

about being sick. You just feel fine. You

can do it. Everything and nothing is a

problem. You can like get up and sit down

and stand up and pick stuff up and get

stuff done. But then you get sick and then

you can't do anything and it's a complete

nightmare. And then my girlfriend got sick

as well. It accidentally infected her and

then she got a fever and a temperature and

a headache and she was in bed all day for

a few days. She's, she's actually

recovered much quicker than I've

recovered. I don't know how. And she's

back to work and stuff. I had to skip a

few days of school because I felt so bad,

but I think I'll be fine tomorrow. But I

still feel pretty bad right now.

Hopefully I get better soon and I can get

back to making more of my boring videos

more frequently. Thanks for watching and

sticking around even if it's so boring.

Sorry about that. I guess