Sunday stream -)

I'm back.

Hopefully it'll work this time.

Hopefully.

All pray to the internet gods. Don't disconnect again. I think it's because it's Sunday. And the weather's really bad and everyone's at home on the internet, increasing the traffic, which makes it slower,

which sucks.

It really sucks. Stupid country. Can't even get decent internet. We invented the internet. And we have the worst internet in the world. The hell's that about? What's that about? When are they gonna fix that?

Can everyone hear me?

Please, someone tell Theresa May, fix the bloody internet. It's horrible.

I have the best— I have the fastest available internet in this area, and it's only 7 megabits per second download and 1.5 upload. It's so bad.

It's horrible. It's terrible.

And then you go to countries like Japan or South Korea and their internet's so fast.

In Korea, the upload was 70 megabits per second and 60 download.

If Asia can do it, why can't the West do it? It's like people in the West don't care about the internet. Everyone's like my dad, they don't even use the internet.

I thought American internet was pretty good. Someone showed me American internet and he had about 100 download. And I, I ordered a rental Wi-Fi thing for Japan and the rental Wi-Fi has 187 download and 75 upload or something. It's crazy. And you get 100 gigabytes per month.

Of usage.

And here I am on 7 download, 1.5 upload.

At least we have internet, I guess.

I don't understand why, why they don't— why don't the internet companies make it so everyone can get fast internet?

There's lots of people living in this area. There's hundreds down at the village. Why don't they make it available? It just says fiber optic broadband isn't available in your area. Why isn't it available? Just make it available. How hard is it? Just do it.

If you offer the service, then people will pay for it. If you don't offer it, then people can't pay for it, can they? Idiots. Idiots. They don't know what they're doing. They should make me in charge. Put me in charge. Then I'll have the fastest internet and everyone else can have the slow internet. Haha.

That'll show them.

What were we talking about? Forced loneliness? I don't know what that is.

Why would you be forced to be lonely? If you were the last person in the world, then you'd be forced. Okay, someone's getting banned.

God, it takes ages to pull up the ban option.

I can't even ban people straight away. It takes a minute or something.

Okay, there we go.

Why do people come onto the livestream to spam? You know, I can just ban you by pressing 2 buttons.

People are idiots.

Mm-hmm. I'm going to Japan in October, next month.

October.

Hopefully there won't be a typhoon

when I arrive. That happened last time and I got redirected to a different airport.

I can't tell if it's streaming or not.

Maybe I should do it tomorrow

when my dad goes to— I don't know. I don't know if my dad's gonna be here.

Is anyone there?

Is anyone there?

Oh, the chat's coming back.

Oh, there it is.

I don't know what to do when it's lagging. I can't tell if it's lagging or not. I guess when the chat just stops completely, then it means it's lagging, or no one's saying anything.

I think my dad's in the other room.

Usually he's outside, but the weather's really bad, so I guess he came in. He came in.

He's always got something to do. He's always busy doing something, and I have no idea what he's doing.

I wanted to talk about Twitch. I made a Twitch channel.

I don't think I'm gonna stream on it though. I'm not sure.

I don't see the point in streaming on Twitch when you can stream on YouTube. People say things like, the community's better on Twitch, but if I did Twitch, then the same people who watch me on YouTube would come over to Twitch. It would be the same community.

Anyway, I made a Twitch account just in case.

And it's hiding in my room. You can search it. It's just hiding in my room. I don't think people would find me on Twitch.

It's not like YouTube, is it? People find me on YouTube from my videos. How would people on Twitch find me on Twitch?

Unless I played a game. I don't really feel like playing games. There's no games that interest me.

I don't really play games. I'm not interested in streaming gaming.

I can't find a game that I really want to play.

I guess I'm just not into gaming that much. Maybe I grew out of it.

Final Fantasy? I hate Final Fantasy. It's so boring.

The story is always the same.

The fighting is really boring.

The last Final Fantasy game I really enjoyed was Final Fantasy IX.

I got to the 3rd disc and then my My memory card formatted itself and I lost all my progress, and I just gave up. I didn't try again.

I liked Alien: Isolation. That was quite fun. I like the atmosphere, the setting. I like sci-fi games with an interesting story.

But the problem with horror games is they always have stupid puzzles in them. I hate puzzles.

What kind of games do I like? I don't know. I play Vainglory all day, which is a MOBA, so I guess I could play League of Legends and stream that. I don't like League of Legends, but I like Vainglory.

If only I could stream Vainglory.

I don't like the art style of League of Legends, even though it looks kind of like Vainglory. I guess it's because I'm used to Vainglory. I don't feel like switching over to something different, even if it might be better.

Hmm, it's tricky. I'm interested in the idea of streaming games, but I'm not interested in playing any games. That doesn't really make sense, does it?

There's just no games that are interesting to me. I don't have the patience.

I can't stream online games anyway. It would be too laggy.

I quite like GTA 5, just driving around, but everyone said that was really boring, just watching me drive around randomly.

I found it relaxing, just driving around, taking in the sights.

I don't really like platformers or adventure games.

Hmm. The Alien game was offline, but if I try streaming an online game, it just lags so much.

It's been a while since I've done a stream. A few weeks ago I was doing streaming every day because I was really enjoying it. And then I felt— I feel like I overdid it and I burnt out a bit and I got bored of it and I stopped streaming. That keeps happening with me. I find something fun

and then I just do it too much and then I get sick of it. And then I stop doing it. I can't do things in moderation.

It's like drawing. I'm so sick of drawing right now.

Except for sex. Don't even get me started.

I'm the same with sex. I get bored of sex as well. For example, If I find a really nice girlfriend, we'll have loads of sex at the beginning, and then I just get sick of it. I get bored of the sex, and then I break up with her. That's not very good, is it?

But when there's something I really want to do, I do it 100%, full steam, and then I run out of steam and I get bored of it.

Everything gets boring. Nothing is fun forever. I can't think of one thing that I really enjoy doing that I've done for a long time.

I guess masturbating is something that I've done constantly for a long time.

Drawing is on and off. I have periods when I just don't feel like drawing at all.

Everything gets boring. Life is pretty boring when you think about it.

Maybe I shouldn't be saying these things when my girlfriend's in the chat.

Do you think being a virgin is bad? No. Why is it bad? There's nothing bad about it. Unless you are the person who is a virgin and you really want sex, then it is kind of bad. What about making YouTube videos? Even making videos, sometimes I get bored with it. Sometimes I feel really excited to make a

video. And I'll make loads. I'll make one every day. And then sometimes I just don't feel like it.

Sometimes I feel really shit, like I have no energy at all.

And then sometimes I feel amazing. I feel energetic and happy, optimistic. It's really weird. Maybe I have some kind of moderate version of bipolar, and sometimes you feel really shit, and sometimes you feel amazing.

How do you fix that?

Usually I fix it by sleeping. If I go to sleep and wake up the next day, I'll be in a completely different mood.

I just have a short attention span.

How long did it take to learn all the N2 kanji? I'm not sure.

I was studying Japanese for about 2 years before I took it, so I guess about 2 years.

It wasn't that difficult. I aced that test so well. I got maybe over 90%. It was so easy.

The kanji part of the test was easy.

The grammar part was incredibly easy. Listening was really easy. I was surprised. The hardest part was reading. Reading was kind of stressful because they give you these really long texts and you only have about an hour.

But then I tried N1, the most difficult level of the tests and I failed. I failed on the reading, but I did really well on everything else. It was just my really low reading score that brought my average result down. If it weren't— if it wasn't for reading, I would have passed it.

I just— I panicked on the reading and for most of the questions I guessed. I didn't have time to read it properly. I was running out of time. Half an hour went past like 30 seconds.

If you try to concentrate, if you try reading the whole text, then you just run out of time. You won't have enough time to finish. You have to scan it.

And I just panicked. I couldn't concentrate and I just ended up guessing everything

and I failed it so badly. But the rest of the test was pretty easy, actually.

My certificate's here.

So it has my name on it.

This is my biggest achievement in life, I guess.

My largest accomplishment.

Would I ever go back to South Korea? No, it's over with my ex-Korean girlfriend, so I won't be able to go and stay with her anymore. She's not very happy.

Have I tried animating? Yeah. If you look at my very first video on this channel, I have an animation called Lonely Guy that was kind of like an animation.

But it just takes so much time. I'm too lazy. I used to have loads of sexual animations on my old YouTube channel. I talked about this before, but then they got flagged and that channel got removed. It got terminated.

I had loads of really strange sexual animations of this giant woman, and she would have these tiny men who had gigantic penises banging her. I had one where she was tied up to this tree and she was surrounded by tiny men who had, who had huge penises. And there's one when there was this giant naked woman standing

in the ocean and she was squeezing her nipples and all this milk was coming out and it was just a sea of milk. It was super messed up. I'm so stupid. I should have saved those videos. I had no idea the channel would get terminated. I don't understand why it got terminated.

PewDiePie can play games like Happy Wheels where people get murdered and there's blood, or he can play these really gruesome games, but you're not allowed to have a cartoon woman squeezing her breasts?

I should have saved them. I'll never get them back. Maybe they exist on the YouTube server. Who knows?

It's funny, sex is unacceptable, but murder and killing people is fine.

What do I do with the Vaseline on your desk? This one.

Vaseline doesn't smell like it used to. It used to have this really strong Vaseline smell. Is it on my hair?

I use it to wax my hair.

Does it work as hair wax? Maybe I should start styling my hair with Vaseline.

Keeps my fringe in place.

Do it like the anime. This is what Japanese guys do.

They make the hair all spiky.

I use Vaseline to style my hair.

That'd be kind of funny.

It works though, it's keeping it in place. I should buy some hair wax. My fringe really irritates me. It keeps flopping down. I want to move it to the side like this.

But I don't like having greasy stuff in my hair.

You should be a Japanese translator. That's what I'm doing now. I'm already a Japanese translator.

Why is earwax so bitter? Sometimes I taste it. It's not bad actually. If you get used to the bitterness, it's quite a delicacy.

One time I used a needle and I pulled out this huge chunk. It was all yellow. It was really gross,

but it felt so satisfying to pull it out. It felt so good. But I got scared. I got scared if you push the needle in too far, it'll poke into your eardrum or something.

Mm-hmm. Did anyone find my Twitch account?

I was watching The Anime Man. Does anyone else watch The Anime Man? His last video was something like, my channel was in danger, and he was showing us all of his videos that have been demonetized or flagged for restricted ads. He had so many videos that weren't making any money, and he was saying he was gonna have

to start a Patreon, and he was doing live streaming on Twitch to make money. It's kind of sad, isn't it? I don't— there's nothing wrong with the Anime Man's content. It's not sexual. He just talks about anime. Why is that getting demonetized?

Kind of sucks, doesn't it? Even someone who has over a million subscribers is struggling.

I don't understand how someone who has a million subscribers can be worried about money.

Maybe it's because he keeps swearing.

My, my videos aren't getting demonetized. My only video that's been demonetized is the Elliot Rodger video.

But some videos don't make any money. For example, the I Like the Smell of Ass video got nearly 5,000 views, but it only made 20 cents. But then, um, My video talking about my first Japanese girlfriend, that made over $10

even though it only got about— it got about 5,000 views, was it?

So I think the title has a big part to play. Even though I was talking about sexual things in the video, it didn't get as restricted for ad revenue. I still got full ad revenue.

Just stop swearing. It's not difficult.

Actually, when I started YouTube, I wanted to swear more because I watched other YouTubers and they were all swearing. And I used to think, I used to think, wow, they sound really cool with all the swearing. And I tried imitating them. And I started swearing, but swearing doesn't suit me. Some people just aren't suited to swearing. For

example, they swear and they just end up sounding stupid. My mum swears all the time and she sounds like an idiot.

When foreigners swear in English, it just sounds— it sounds really stupid.

But now I feel pretty happy that I don't swear because I don't get affected by the YouTube rules for swearing. I don't like swearing. Some people, they just swear too much and they end up sounding stupid. You need to know when to swear. If you're just swearing every 10 seconds, you just sound like an idiot.

Sometimes it can be done in a funny way, swearing, but you need to know— I guess you need to know how to do it properly.

Which other videos?

The video titled I'm Thinking About Paying for Sex, that made $0.30 even though it got a few thousand views.

The video about the blowjob got very little as well.

So if you write— if you write vulgar words into the video title, it's gonna get demonetized or restricted ads. If you type in words like suicide or kill, you're gonna get no ads. It's gonna get demonetized. My video called Why I Haven't Killed Myself Yet got completely demonetized.

And yeah, the Elliot Rodger one as well, that got demonetized. Talking about mass murderers is a sensitive subject, so that kind of makes sense.

You just have to avoid words like blowjob or tits or ass. Sexual things.

Give us a room tour. I already did a room tour. I forgot which video it was.

What's my Steam ID? Please don't punch me. I don't really log into Steam anymore.

Do I like anime?

I'm not really interested in anime anymore.

I lost interest in anime.

The last anime I watched was—

I think I was just watching Death Note clips on YouTube because I watched the Netflix Death Note and then I felt like watching the original anime series. It was so good.

The moment when L dies was really sad. I can't believe he died.

My dad's in the next room doing bloody DIY.

Can you hear that drill?

For

fuck's sake. It's one thing after another, isn't it? It's either the internet or my bloody dad doing DIY.

You don't know what DIY is? How can you not know what DIY is? Do it yourself.

I don't know how to describe what DIY is. It's like building and fixing stuff in your house using power tools. I can't stand DIY.

Is it? It's really noisy for me. It's right in the next room.

He's drilling something into the wall.

He's doing the new bathroom. We already have 4 bathrooms and he's making a 4th one.

We have— we have 3 bathtubs, 4 showers in this house, and there's only 3 of us living here.

It's nice when we have guests though. We don't have to queue up to use the bathroom.

He keeps making bathtubs, but when I use the bathtub, he starts complaining, saying, can you not have so many baths? It's using up all the hot water.

When I was working night shift at the petrol station, I would have a bath every night before I went to work because it was freezing cold. And he started complaining. He started saying it's using up all the hot water and the gas bill's getting really expensive.

I don't understand it because Japanese people have baths every night. It's a normal thing. Ask any Japanese person, they'll say they have baths every night.

Maybe they have a more energy-efficient system. We have a giant gas tank outside. It's filled with oil.

Japanese people, they have a shower and then they get— and then they get into the bath.

They wash themselves before they get into the bath so they can reuse the water. It's kind of gross.

What's the point in making baths if you're gonna moan when people use it?

I don't pay the TV license. If it was my house, I wouldn't buy a TV license. Who actually watches TV? You can just watch it on the internet.

TV is like an old-fashioned technology. You can just watch everything online now.

I don't even watch TV unless my parents turn it on. You can watch YouTube, you can watch Amazon Prime, Netflix, or you can just torrent it.

Just go onto Putlocker or VODlocker.

I go onto 123movies.net, type in what I want to watch, comes up with loads of links.

TVs are just trying to become like computers, smart TV. Smart TVs are like a poor man's computer. It's just trying to emulate a computer, isn't it? Just use a computer or tablet or laptop. We have a smart TV, but it just feels pointless to use when I have an iPad, which does the same thing. I'd rather watch

things on my iPad than a big TV. I like having it on my lap. I like being close to the screen. It's more immersive.

I bite my lip a lot. Yeah, it's kind of a habit. I don't know why I keep biting it. Maybe that's why they're dried all the time. Maybe I lip— I lick my lips too much.

I have an iPad Pro.

It's huge. I love this thing.

It's my favorite thing in the world.

You can do everything on an iPad.

I get kind of irritated when people think that, that you can't do many things on an iPad, like it's limited. You can do so many things on it. I bought it myself.

I paid with it, with my own money. I paid for it with my own money.

You can't play Warcraft on it. Okay, you can't play some games on it. I guess if you're a gamer, it's not very good. But you can play Vainglory on it. You can play Vainglory on it. You don't need Dota or League of Legends. There's even some kind of knockoff World of Warcraft game made by some Chinese company.

Yeah, I play Vainglory.

What else is on it? They have Rome: Total War, the old one, the very first one, and there's quite a lot of indie games coming to it. Like Darkest Dungeon, Don't Starve. I think— is Faster Than Light on it? Let me check. I think it was on it. I used to play FTL.

Faster Than Light.

Yeah, Faster Than Light's on it as well. £9.99. I might buy that actually. Can play it on the plane.

What else can you get? You can also get This War of Mine on it. I used to play that a lot. That's a pretty good game.

Would my sister ever appear? I'm not sure. I wanted to do a livestream with my sister, but she kept saying she was at a wedding and she wanted to do the stream when she was at the wedding. I said, if you do it then, then how are you going to read the live chat? It'd be better if

she did it from her computer.

I didn't stream with her.

Miguel Zar. I thought I banned you. Mr. Real Streets. I unbanned everyone, by the way. I have funny moods with comments. Sometimes people write really irritating comments, and if I'm in a bad mood, I'll just ban them. And then I regret banning them a few weeks later, and then I unban them. And then I get irritated again,

then I ban them again. I'm surprised the people who I banned still watch. I thought they would get bored if they can't make comments, but it seems like people stick around even after I've banned them.

I look like Kylo Ren. That's so insulting. I don't want to look like Kylo Ren. He looks weird, doesn't he, that actor? When he took his helmet off on Force Awakens, I was like, can you put that helmet back on please? You look way cooler with the helmet on.

After he took his helmet, his coolness factor just dropped by 10 minus 1,000 minus 100. Couldn't

they get someone who looked more intimidating than Kylo Ren?

It was his hair. I feel like if he had facial hair

and if he cut his hair a bit, then he would look a lot cooler. I've seen him before when he had facial hair. He looks a lot better. Maybe it's because the beard covers his face.

Force Awakens was— it was really shit, to be honest. It was like a mirroring of Episode IV. I didn't like the new actors. Daisy Ridley was okay. John Boyega was kind of irritating.

I don't like seeing Harrison Ford in Star Wars anymore because I know he hates his character. He said something like he wished he was killed off in The Empire Strikes Back. He hated playing Harrison Ford— I mean, Han Solo.

Rogue One was so much better.

When's the new one coming out? Should be coming out end of this year, right? Episode 8? Is it 8?

But it's gonna be weird. Is, is Carrie Fisher going to be in it?

I heard they finished Carrie Fisher's scenes before she died, so she's still, still going to be in it even though she's dead. That's a bit weird.

Look how angry people get when I ignore them.

They're gonna use CGI. The CGI for Grand Moff Tarkin was— it was good, but it wasn't convincing enough. It still looks kind of strange. It looks like— it was like I was watching a cutscene from a video ca— video game.

And when they made him stand next to real actors, it looked really fake. It doesn't look good enough yet.

They showed his face too much, I think. It ruined it.

I have a fortune cookie.

I prepared it for the stream.

Maybe I should save it.

Maybe I can watch it in Japan. I watched the Warcraft movie in Japan. I went by myself like a loner. I really enjoyed it. It was a good movie, I think. It gave me so many chills, nostalgic chills. I felt like I was gonna cry. It was so— it was like a nerdy moment. I felt so happy.

Nerd tears. It brought back all these memories of playing World of Warcraft.

I want to eat my fortune cookie.

I don't want to drop crumbs.

Oh, I dropped crumbs. No, I'm gonna get insects.

Cover

my mouth.

Okay, here's my fortune.

Are you ready?

It says, fuck everyone.

No, it doesn't really. I'm joking. It says, do everything with confidence.

Can this actually focus?

It's not gonna focus, is it?

Do everything with confidence.

Do everyone with confidence. I'm full of confidence, can't you tell?

Nasty ASMR. It's not even a fortune. I guess so. It's more like advice. The most useless advice in the world.

So good.

My dad's outside of my room.

I'm hungry too.

I think he heard me speaking and then he stopped strutting. I'm not sure.

Hi, fire chicken. You sound delicious.

He's outside my room.

Stay very quiet.

This is like playing Adrien. Does my dad ever come into my room? No, never.

It really is like playing Adrien. You know when you're playing Adrien You have to stay very quiet to see if you can hear the alien's footsteps. It's like I'm trying to hear for his footsteps so I can tell where he is.

Doo doo doo. I was watching this program last night about swarms. It was so gross. They had all these kind of— kinds of swarms, like crab swarms and birds, locusts, and ants.

And there was this huge swarm of birds in Africa or somewhere, and they will nest in the trees. And then they, the people who live there, they rigged the trees with dynamite or some kind of explosive. And then they just blew up all these trees which had millions of birds in them, hundreds of thousands of birds. They

just blew them up. It was so funny. And then there was, there was some village in Africa and they had this swarm of flies and The people from the village, they would get frying pans and they would make the frying pans wet and they'd go into the swarm and just start swatting all the flies. And then the

flies would get stuck in the frying pan, and then they would start molding all the flies into patties like beef burgers, and then they would fry them. It was disgusting.

But it's, it's good protein, isn't it?

It's a good source of food.

All these kids were in this swarm of flies, they just had frying pans and they were just grabbing them, swatting them, collecting them, and then molding them into beef patties, burger patties. It was so gross.

You said when you really want to do something, you will go out of your way to do it. But is it just a feeling that comes on sometimes, seemingly random, and it phases out the same way? If there's something I really want to do, then I just do it. But then I usually get— I get bored with

it or I give up quickly.

I don't stick to some— I don't stick to things for very long.

Where does the source of your want come from? I don't know, I just feel inspired sometimes by random things.

You're never satisfied. Yeah, I get bored quickly.

Do I speak Chinese? No.

Arigato yo.

Have I gone to China before? I've gone to Shanghai Airport and I've been to Hong Kong Airport. Your finger looks weird.

Do they look like spider legs?

Oh, the drilling started again. Fantastic.

What European countries have you gone to? Norway, France, Spain.

Is Shanghai big? I only went to the airport. I never left the airport. China was really scary. The Chinese people at the airport are really— they look really unfriendly, and they all wear military-looking uniforms, and they all seem really uptight and strict and serious.

When I go to the Japanese airport, they always speak to me in Japanese. One time this guy, he asked me, what have you been doing in the UK? And I said, I live there. I'm British. And he said, oh, sorry. And then I showed him my passport. He thought I was Japanese or something.

Heathrow Airport is pretty scary. When my Korean girlfriend came to the UK, she had to go through that questioning and I was with her because she doesn't really speak good English and this man was questioning us and he just— he asked me, are you with her? And I said yes. And then he said, who are you? And

I told him my name. I said, I'm Daniel. And he said, never heard of you. I'm guessing he meant, who are you? How are you related to her? I just said I'm her friend and he let us in.

Norway was really boring. There's nothing interesting about Norway. I guess the fjord cruise was kind of interesting.

The food was really boring.

Norway isn't really famous for its food, is it? They wouldn't even sell us beer after 6 PM.

Chatto de kenka shinaide ne.

What is Norway famous for? Vikings, fjords, that guy who— what happened to that Norwegian mass murderer who killed like 100 people on that island and then they gave him a really nice apartment as a prison and they let him start some kind of university course? You can get really nice accommodation if you become a mass murderer in

Norway.

Yeah, Breivik. Is he dead?

Completely nuts. Why didn't they give him the death penalty?

I don't get it.

We went to Stavanger and— but again, there was absolutely nothing in Stavanger. Was— is it Stavanger? I don't know how to pronounce it, but the hotel was really nice. It was huge. It was so big.

20 years. You kill 94 people or something and you only get 20 years. It's a joke. I'm not interested in Europe at all. The only reason, the only way I would travel Europe is if my girlfriend wanted to. If my girlfriend said, let's go to Europe, then I'd say, okay, let's go. But I wouldn't want to go

there for a long time. I wouldn't want to live there.

He's probably better off staying at the prison. If he got released into public, someone might try to murder him. He might get murdered by the mob.

At least if he's in prison, he's safe from— from the public.

And do I lift? Yeah, look at my muscles.

Do I look like I lift?

Who's that Swedish guy who's stuck in London for doing something? There's this Swedish famous guy who's trapped in some kind of embassy and he can't get out because if he leaves the building he'll get arrested.

It starts with an A.

What did he do?

PewDiePie? No, not PewDiePie. PewDiePie better be paying his taxes.

I wonder how much tax he pays. Yeah, Assange. What did he do? Could I pick up Tomoko? I'm not sure how much she weighs. She won't tell me, but I'm guessing Around 50. I could lift her, I think.

Oh, he's the WikiLeaks guy. No way.

They want to arrest him for WikiLeaks. Is that why?

Everyone knows so much. I feel like I know nothing sometimes.

Why do people know so many things?

I watch the news. I watch the Channel 4 News.

He leaked US diplomatic cables and is accused of sexually assaulting 2 women.

Oh, they should arrest him then. Just go in there. This is strange. It's like if Hitler came to England and then he got into an embassy, would they just not arrest him because he's in an embassy?

I can speak several languages, but I can't speak any of them well. I can't even speak English very well. My English vocabulary is at the level of a 12-year-old.

My Japanese level might be around the level of a 10-year-old. My Korean is maybe a 6-year-old.

What do you call the cable that connects the USB condenser mic to your phone?

Um, OTG USB to USB-C cable adapter.

I think that's what it's called, OTG.

It's really good. I didn't know you could use a USB microphone like this on your phone just by using an OTG cable.

I thought it would be more complicated, like you needed some kind of special device, but you just plug it in and it works. It's great.

I have to change my hairstyle. No, never. I'm going for the L, the L hairstyle from Death Note,

the bird's nest hairstyle. I think it's pretty good.

I had this crazy dream, but I can't remember what happened.

Buzzcut? You must be kidding me. I don't understand you people. I don't understand everyone's taste in hairstyles. Does anyone remember that really old video I made where I pulled all my hair back? As a joke, and everyone was saying, you look so much better like that. I looked like an idiot.

I can't stand short hair.

My— I don't have a manly face, so a manly haircut won't suit me. If you have a feminine face, then you should have a feminine hairstyle.

I don't think my face is very masculine.

How many girlfriends have I had?

Sayaka, Sayori, um, the Korean one, the French one, the crazy one. 6, 7. I'd say 7.

I think it's 7.

I don't want to look masculine. People keep thinking that I want to turn into this muscular man with a beard and a buzzcut so I can pull the ladies. That isn't how it works in Japan.

Everything that's attractive in the West and America is reversed in Japan. Look at the famous people in Japan. All the men look like women. Look at the J-pop bands. Look at the famous actors. Do they look masculine?

No.

My taste in style is very influenced by anime and Japan.

I felt so shit when I cut my hair. I cut my hair really short for the Taiwanese girl and it looked terrible. I hated it so much. I had no confidence in how I looked.

I feel so exposed when my hair's short.

I don't think most guys feel like this, but girls do. Imagine if you were a girl and then someone shaved off your hair. You would feel like shit.

Do I go out for haircuts? No, I cut it myself.

My scissors.

This is how I cut my hair. I go, oh, this bit's looking a bit long. Snip. This bit's looking a bit long. Snip. And it usually looks terrible, but after about a week It grows back and it looks fine.

Did I vote for Brexit? I don't vote. I didn't vote.

But if I did vote, I think I would have voted to leave.

I don't really understand politics, so I'm not in a position to, to talk about it.

Why am I hiding in my room?

Bye, I have to leave. No, don't leave. Stay. Stay a bit longer. Just 10 minutes. Please. Please.

All those damn foreigners coming here, taking our jobs. How dare they? How dare they? They just come here and then they sign up to the job center and benefit scrounge.

What's your day today like? Your day today? Do you mean my day Today, or my day, my everyday.

What do I think of America? I don't know. It's alright. It seems a bit crazy though. With all the guns and all that neo-Nazi stuff that happened.

The thing on my shelf is moving.

You lied.

I think Japan has it right with immigration. Just let people in who are skilled. If you don't have a university degree, then you're not coming in. It makes sense. Why let millions of unskilled workers come into the country when you've already got millions of native unskilled people.

Like the Nepal guy, I don't even know why he's here because why did— how did Nepalese people get into the country? Is it because they were part of the empire and England let them come here as thanks for fighting for us? I don't understand it.

Did the bakery girl ever answer me? No, she blocked me.

I get a bit worried about her sometimes. Her last blog entry was something like, I don't know what the meaning of life is. I don't know what to do with my life. I'm homeless in an internet café.

You make about £70 a month on YouTube. It's, it's closer to $300 US.

Someone give me a donation, please. I'll do anything.

Am I looking for a job yet? No. I'm going to Japan next month.

There's no time for working.

Maybe I'll go back onto the job center.

Long-term career plans. Become a famous YouTuber.

Hopefully I'll die before I have to worry about any of that.

My sugar daddy is not here. Where is he? Sato, where are you?

I need money to go to Japan. If everyone gave me $1 right now, I'd have $54.

My face is going all red.

Do I want Tomoko to give me money?

No. I don't need— I don't need your pity money.

I have plenty of money.

I'm hungry.

Why have older women been attracted to you? I think it's because I give off this cute aura and it triggers their mothering— their mothering senses, and they kind of want to be a mother to me and have sex.

Usually the kind of girlfriends I get are kind of motherly women.

Does that make sense? It's like they want to take care of me. They see me as this vulnerable little boy and they want to take care of me in every way. That's why young, really feminine girls aren't usually interested in me, because feminine girls, they want a strong man to rely on. They want a reliable man. They

don't want to be a mother.

That's why I have trouble attracting those kind of girls. But I don't have trouble attracting

independent women, strong-minded women who have this sense of looking— who want to look after someone. Does that make sense?

But that's the trouble. I don't really want a girlfriend who's like my mum. I want a feminine girl. But I don't want her to be—

like she's hopelessly relying on me.

I want a girl who's independent, who can look after herself. Who doesn't need to rely on someone?

I feel like if you want a really feminine girlfriend, you have to become more masculine.

You keep talking about finding a girlfriend. I'm not talking about finding a girlfriend. I'm talking about the kinds of girlfriends that I've had.

別 に 聞 いて も いい よ、 と も こ。

でも 勘 違 い し ない で ね。

My dad's outside my room again.

Fucking hell. Fucking hell.

I'm a perfectly normal human being. I don't know what you're talking about.

If I cook, then I have to end the stream. I can't livestream whilst cooking, not when there's people around. Asparagus disorder. If you eat asparagus It makes your piss smell really weird, doesn't it? If you have a piss after eating asparagus, it smells horrible.

Would I do a meetup in London? Yes, but only girls are invited.

Men have to— men aren't allowed. Women only.

By the way, follow me on Twitch. twitch.tv— is it .com/hidinginmyroom?

Should I stream on Twitch or YouTube? Does everyone here have a Twitch account?

And I need someone to make me emojis, Daniel emojis. I'll pay you. $1 per emoji.

Does it sound like a good deal?

I guess I could just make it myself.

Twitch, YouTube, YouTube. Why Twitch?

Unnecessary? I guess it is unnecessary. But all the other big YouTubers are doing it. Everyone else is moving to Twitch. I feel like YouTube is a sinking ship.

Everyone's jumping onto Twitch now.

Fine, I'll do a private livestream on Twitch with Tomoko.

I don't want to stream. You don't have to stream games on Twitch. You can do in real life streams. I didn't know you could stream on your phone on Twitch. You can.

I won't be able to play games anyway when I'm in Japan. Go on YouNow.

I tried YouNow before.

I don't really see the point in doing YouNow when I could do YouTube.

How do people make money on YouNow? It's bars, isn't it?

2 時 4 時 朝 の 4 時 で しょ。

2 時 4 時 じゃない んだ。 実 は なんだ っ け、 八 時間 だ よね。

今日 本 語 チャ ット し よう。

英 語 の コ メ ント 無 視、 英 語 禁 止。

逆 に 無 視 さ れた。 み んな に 十 四 時間 じゃない ね、 八 時間 だ よ。

俺 も 大 好 き だ よ。

浮 気 し ない から み んな の コ メ ント 気 に し ない で ね。

Why are you becoming Iron Man?

That's a good one. Iron Man.

It looks really funny, doesn't it?

中国 の 王 様 は なん という んだ っ け？ 中国 の 王 様、 まあ まあ 忘 れた。

悪 魔、 悪 魔、 悪 魔 じゃない。

神 様 の 反 対 は 何？

誰 か 答 えて く れ。 鬼。 お、 そうそう そう、 鬼 だ。 うん。 日本 語 忘 れて る。

悪 魔、 悪 魔、 悪 魔 と 鬼 何 か 違う？

魔 法 使 い、 魔 法 使 える 人、 ハ リ ー ・ ポ ッ ター みたい な ウ ィ ザ ード。

I'm a

wizard.

I want to say devil

in Japanese.

Let me look it up.

I'm a wizard.

I used

to think that Asian girl in Harry Potter was super sexy. What's her name? Cho Chang. I had a huge crush on her.

It says Akuma or Oni. Akuma.

Tomoko, Harry Potter,全部見た?

映 画 四 番 目 の 映 画 で ア ジ ア 人 の 可愛 い 女 の 子 が 出 た。 その 子 すご く 好 き だ った 昔 は ね。

最 初 の だけ そ っ か じゃあ 見て ない んだ。

もう 寝 る の? ダ メ、 ライ ブ が まだ 終 わ って ない んだ よ。

ライ ブ。 ライ ブ US J 始 めて いく と き に 見 た と も こ 変 な 人 が いる。

と も こ を ください って あ げ る わ け が ない。 う ぜ ろ。 What is that? Go back to English.

でも 前 の 日本 人 ライ バ ル が。

来 なく な った よね。 名 前 なんだ っ け、 名 古 屋 から の リ ッ サ という 人 が いた。 名 古 屋 に 来 て ね って 誘 わ れた。 誰 だ ろう。

覚 える な。 ご め ん ね。

日本 人 ライ バ ル。

俺 を 誘 惑 し よう と して た や ら しい 女。

Let's change the colour. Where's my remote control? There it is.

Is this thing working? This thing isn't working.

You are cruel, hito kara mamotte ne.

Rival.

Omae wa ore no rival da.

This thing doesn't work. Oh, there we go. We can change it. It's yellow. It's yellow.

I don't like yellow

for some reason. Oh, if you put it down here, it changes.

Purple! Which color? Purple's pretty cool.

I need to bring this to Japan, my penis lamp.

There was some girl from Nagoya who kept coming to the livestreams and saying stuff like, come and see me in Nagoya. Mmm.

Mmm. No, she's not my rival. She's Tomoko's rival.

I don't like blue. Let's go back to red. Go back to red. That's better.

Let's check my battery.

あ と もう 少 し 切 っちゃ う よ。 バ ッ テ リ ー が。

So you and Tomo have never met? No, not yet. We shall be meeting very soon. We're gonna make babies. Lots of babies.

変 な 人 が いる よね。 気 に し ない で。 ブ ロ ック し よう か。 三 百 秒 タ イ ム ア ウ ト。

Someone's getting timed out.

Are you and Tomo gonna do it?

Yes. We shall be doing it. Multiple times. Multiple days.

Make sure you tune into the livestream on Chatterbait.

The Ice Theatre guy got blocked. He's trying to steal my girlfriend. How dare he?

How dare he?

Family friendly, guys. Keep it— if you want to talk that kind of stuff, say it in Japanese.

英 語 で こんな や ら しい 話 した ら 大丈夫 かな。

何 か さ れ そう、 You Tube に。 でも 日本 語 で 言 った ら 大丈夫 と思 う。

日本 語 で や ら しい 話 した ら 誰 も わ から ない から いい ん じゃない。 でも 結 構 日本 語 でき る 人 が いる みたい。 なん で？ なん で 日本 語 わか る の？ 秘密言語じゃない。

多 分 日本 語 勉 強 して る 人 が いる と思 う。

あの ジ ョ ージ という ア メ リ カ 人 の チャンネル から 来 た 人 た ち、 と も こと 一 緒 に。 音 声 チャ ット でき た ら いい な ライ ブ で 実 は 先 週 ぐ らい あの 長 治 から 連 絡 が 来 た なん で 俺 の メ ッ セ ージ に

返 事 して ない って 多 分 この 話 し ない 方 が いい と思 う バ レ ちゃ い そう 喧 嘩 した わ け じゃない けど ち ょ っと 話 した い 気 分 が ない なく な った あの 人 と。

危 険 危 険 な 話 危 険 な 話 ちょっと イ ラ スト の 仕 事 に 興 味 が なく な った から 前 は すご く や り た かった けど 思 った よ り 面 倒 く さ く て スト レ ス にな った から。

み んな 日本 語 で 暴 れて る から ね。 もう 英 語 の ライ ブ が 終 わ った から、 英 語 飽 き ちゃ った。

How can we make this stream more fun? How dare you? Are you ins in uating that my stream is not fun?

Shizuka-chan's hair. 違う よ。 静 か。 変 態 伸 び た く ん。

その 機 械 が 欲 しい ね。 その 道 具。 なん なん という や つ？ 催 眠 術 の 道 具？

でも ない よ が。 全部 を ね ち た った。

それ も 飽 きた。

もう 静 か ちゃん の 仕 事 が じゃ が なく な った。 もう 来 なく な った。

日本 語 教 える。 あ ん まり 教 える 興 味 が ない ね。

Are you masturb ating? Yeah, can you tell?

This is how I calm myself.

ど う も。

絶 対 視 聴 者 が い っぱ い 来 そう。 来 そう？ 来 そう？

こ いつ ら は 日本 語 勉 強 勉 強 する 気 が ない や ら しい や ら しい こと を しか 言 わ ない。

ふざけてるみんなふざけてる日本語でも。

I'm definitely bringing this lamp to Japan.

Can you set it to change color automatically? You can. There's flashing mode, there's strobing mode.

Have it change color.

Where is it? Oh, here it is.

This is giving me a headache now.

How do you stop it?

I can't see.

Flash, strobe. I

can't see it. Oh, fade.

This remote isn't working.

There is strobing.

I don't like this. I prefer red.

住 んで る 場 所 言 わ ない で ね。 でも 前 の ビ デ オ ちょっと 心 配 して た あの コ ーヒ ー の カ フ ェ が 見 える じゃ ん。 Good morning な ん とか それ 調 べ た ら 出 る 地 図 で それ 大丈夫 かな 気 を つ けて ね サ イ ン

とか 外 で 撮 影 した ら サ イ ン とか 出 ちゃ った ら バ レ ちゃ う よ あ うん。 バ ッ テ リ ー が 9 %。 バ ッ テ リ ー が 9 にな った よ。

全 国 チ ェ ーン。

でも と も こ が 住 んで る 島 に 一 つ しか ない で しょ？

9 %。

九 パ ー セ ント。

今日は 誰 も お 金 く れ な かった。 今日 も 地 下 の 村 だ った ね。 日 間 も やって て、 エ ッ ジ ド ラ も ない。

この フ ァ ン た ちは 役 に 立 た ない な。

佐 藤 さん が い ない と 誰 も く れない んだ。 なん で？ もう 二 時間 に あ った の に。

イ ライ ラ は し ない けど、 ちょっと 悔 しい。 言 わ ない で。 お 金 が 欲 しい って こと が バ レ た ら 嫌 わ れ ちゃ う か も。

七 パ ー セ ント。

先 週 ぐ らい すご く い っぱ いく れて た の に、 十 ド ラ とか 二 十 ド ラ。 最近 は 全 然 く れる 人 が い ない なく て ね。

あ げ なく て も いい よ。 彼 女 から も ら った ら お か しい。

み んな が 英 語 で 話 して ほ しい って 言 ってる よね。

何 の 話 か わか り た かった ら 日本 語 勉 強 して ね。 日本 語 勉 強 して ね。

ど う す れ ば お 金 も ら える？ あ、 バ ッ テ リ ー が 5 %。 あと もう 少 し 切 る よ。

あと もう 少 し。

どう し よう。 これ から 来 ちゃ お う か。

Daniel would make a lot of money doing ASMR. I made an ASMR video. It only got 1,000 views. People don't care about ASMR on my channel.

If I don't talk about sex, then people don't watch the bloody videos, don't they?

Look, my last video. Only got 1,000 views as well.

前 は 日本 語 で 話 す 自 信 が な かった けど、 今 は 結 構 喋 れる。 問題 な し、 問題 なく。 次 も 日本 語 でしょう か。

どう ですか。

3% 3%が残りました

Oh fuck

2% Okay, I'm ending the livestream before I get cut off Bye guys

Shit