Recording
I have a question for you - LG G5 vlog
2016-12-08 · 5 min
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- rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203Machine-generated and unreviewed; may be wrong; not a verified quotation.enraw_asractive114 segments
Transcript
Nothing like a cup of coffee to start the
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0:11–0:13 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_0Daniel! Paul, you scared the shit out of
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0:19–0:22 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_1me! How would you feel if I told you that
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0:22–0:24 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_2in 200 years' time, all life on Earth will
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0:24–0:27 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_3be wiped out? What?! How about trying good
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0:27–0:29 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_4morning next time? Whether the morning is
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0:29–0:32 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_5good or not is irrelevant. Now answer the
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0:32–0:34 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_6question. If I were to tell you that in
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0:35–0:37 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_7200 years' time, all life on Earth will be
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0:37–0:39 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_8wiped out, how will you feel? Your
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0:39–0:42 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_9children, your grandchildren's children,
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0:42–0:44 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_10all of mankind and all life on the planet
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0:44–0:47 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_11will cease to exist. How will you feel?
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0:47–0:49 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_12You're such a downer, Paul. This is why
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0:50–0:52 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_13you don't have any friends. Do you think I
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0:52–0:54 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_14look like the kind of person who cares
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0:54–0:55 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_15about having friends? Now answer the
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0:55–0:57 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_16question. I don't know, no one's ever
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0:58–1:00 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_17asked me that before. I guess I wouldn't
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1:01–1:02 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_18really care. 200 years is a long time from
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1:03–1:05 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_19now. We'll be long gone. If all life on
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1:05–1:07 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_20Earth is going to end in 200 years' time,
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1:08–1:09 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_21then I guess it would feel like everything
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1:09–1:11 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_22we're working hard for now is kind of
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1:11–1:14 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_23pointless if it's just gonna all come to
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1:14–1:16 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_24an end in 200 years' time. But then if you
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1:16–1:18 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_25think about it, it's gonna come to an end
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1:18–1:21 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_26eventually. You know, it might be 200
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1:21–1:23 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_27years' time, might be 200 million years'
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1:23–1:25 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_28time. The point is, we don't know when
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1:25–1:28 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_29it's going to come to an end, and we don't
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1:28–1:29 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_30really think about when it's going to come
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1:30–1:31 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_31to an end. We just live our lives and do
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1:31–1:33 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_32the best we can. Besides, why would I
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1:33–1:35 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_33believe you? You could just be making it
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1:36–1:37 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_34up. You do not have to believe what I say.
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1:38–1:40 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_35You can see for yourself. Let me show you.
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1:41–1:44 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_36We shall be traveling 200 years into the
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1:44–1:46 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_37future, to the year 2216. You're joking,
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1:46–1:50 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_38right? What have
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1:50–1:53 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_39you done to my hair?
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1:53–1:55 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_40I told you, we're going 200 years into the
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1:57–1:59 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_41future. Obviously, this is how time has
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2:00–2:01 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_42affected your physical appearance. What?
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2:02–2:04 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_43That doesn't make any sense! Why would
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2:04–2:05 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_44going 200 years into the future make my
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2:06–2:07 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_45hair grow really long? If going 200 years
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2:08–2:10 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_46into the future means that time has an
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2:10–2:12 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_47effect on my body, then I would be dead!
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2:12–2:14 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_48My hair wouldn't just suddenly grow really
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2:15–2:17 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_49long! Look, I didn't make up the rules for
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2:17–2:19 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_50time travel, okay? Now, do you want to see
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2:20–2:21 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_51your decimated planet or not? Okay, show
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2:21–2:24 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_52me my decimated planet then. Can I at
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2:25–2:26 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_53least go and get a haircut before we go?
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2:27–2:28 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_54No, we only have a limited amount of time
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2:29–2:30 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_55that we can stay in the future. Besides,
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2:30–2:32 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_56you look kind of cute. Oh, thanks.
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2:33–2:36 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_57Anyway, since we're 200 years in the
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2:36–2:37 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_58future, does that mean all my family are
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2:38–2:39 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_59dead? Does that mean all my friends are
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2:40–2:42 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_60dead? Um, you don't have any friends.
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2:42–2:45 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_61And yes, your whole family no longer
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2:45–2:48 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_62exists. Sorry about that. But don't worry,
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2:49–2:51 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_63we won't be staying in the future for too
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2:51–2:53 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_64long. We'll be back soon. This is all that
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2:53–2:55 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_65remains on your beloved planet. All your
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2:56–2:58 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_66loved ones, all life on Earth,
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2:58–3:00 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_67brutally wiped out in a single event.
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3:03–3:05 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_68Are you sure? It kind of looks the same to
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3:06–3:08 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_69me. I mean, it's always looked like that.
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3:08–3:09 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_70If everything's the same, then where are
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3:10–3:12 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_71all the people? Where's your family, huh?
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3:13–3:14 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_72You're all alone, aren't you? Where are
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3:15–3:17 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_73your friends? Oh wait, you didn't have any
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3:17–3:19 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_74friends in the first place. This is just a
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3:19–3:22 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_75big joke, isn't it? You haven't taken me
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3:22–3:24 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_76200 years into the future. You've just
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3:25–3:27 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_77slipped some kind of crazy hair growth
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3:27–3:28 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_78formula into my coffee, haven't you? How
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3:29–3:30 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_79could you do this to me, Paul? I believed
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3:31–3:32 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_80you. I believed we were 200 years in the
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3:33–3:34 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_81future. How could you trick me like this?
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3:35–3:36 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_82I thought we were friends. I took you in
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3:37–3:39 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_83from the streets when you were starving
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3:39–3:41 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_84and cold, and I fed you and I gave you
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3:41–3:42 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_85shelter. And this is how you repay me?
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3:43–3:45 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_86You made me think my family were dead.
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3:46–3:47 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_87You made me think that humanity and all
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3:47–3:49 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_88life on Earth were going to go extinct in
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3:50–3:51 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_89200 years. No, Paul, there's nothing
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3:52–3:55 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_90you can say right now. Just don't say
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3:56–3:57 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_91anything. There's nothing you can say that
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3:58–3:59 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_92can make me change my mind. Just leave.
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3:59–4:01 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_93Pack your bags. You're gone. I don't care.
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4:01–4:03 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_94I don't care. I can't take this anymore.
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4:04–4:05 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_95But Daniel, I was only trying to help. I
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4:05–4:08 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_96was only trying to show you that you do
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4:08–4:10 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_97have family. You do have friends. I'm your
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4:10–4:13 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_98friend. We're here for you. You don't have
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4:14–4:17 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_99to feel alone anymore. Paul, I don't— I
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4:17–4:19 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_100don't understand you. What are you trying
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4:19–4:21 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_101to say? What is this all about?
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4:21–4:22 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_102You just seem so alone, Daniel. I want you
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4:24–4:27 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_103to know that you're not alone. You're
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4:28–4:30 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_104never alone. I'm here for you. We're all
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4:30–4:33 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_105here for you. It's okay. It's okay.
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4:33–4:36 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_106That's— that's the kindest thing anyone
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4:38–4:40 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_107has ever done for me. I thought you were
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4:40–4:41 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_108just taking the piss. Now can you give me
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4:42–4:43 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_109some scissors so I can cut this fucking
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4:44–4:45 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_110hair off? Aww, but I like the way you look
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4:45–4:48 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_111with long hair. I think it suits you.
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4:48–4:49 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_112Paul, let's get mad!
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4:49–4:49 · rev_687021e2202eabe5bc0e3b0c3289a203_113