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Why I regret getting married [1SytwV9muVI]

Date unresolved · 12 min

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  1. rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339Machine-generated and unreviewed; may be wrong; not a verified quotation.
    enraw_asractive153 segments

Transcript

en
  1. Hey, so I want to talk about why I

    Segment details0:01–0:03 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_0
  2. regretted getting married. Now, when I was

    Segment details0:04–0:05 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_1
  3. married, obviously I couldn't talk about

    Segment details0:05–0:08 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_2
  4. this because my wife would have been

    Segment details0:08–0:09 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_3
  5. pretty upset if she heard me say these

    Segment details0:09–0:11 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_4
  6. things. But now that we're separated,

    Segment details0:11–0:14 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_5
  7. I guess I can say anything I want to.

    Segment details0:14–0:16 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_6
  8. After getting married, the number one

    Segment details0:17–0:19 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_7
  9. thing that I noticed that I lost was my

    Segment details0:20–0:22 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_8
  10. freedom. And to me, freedom is one

    Segment details0:23–0:28 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_9
  11. of the most important things in life.

    Segment details0:28–0:29 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_10
  12. It's one of the main reasons why I refuse

    Segment details0:29–0:32 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_11
  13. to get a 9-to-5 job, and that's because if

    Segment details0:33–0:36 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_12
  14. I had a 9-to-5 job, I wouldn't have the

    Segment details0:37–0:38 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_13
  15. freedom that I want in life. Wouldn't be

    Segment details0:39–0:41 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_14
  16. able to just go where I want to when I

    Segment details0:41–0:44 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_15
  17. wanted to, or do what I wanted to when I

    Segment details0:44–0:46 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_16
  18. wanted to. And being married was kind of

    Segment details0:46–0:49 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_17
  19. the same as that. When I was married, I

    Segment details0:49–0:53 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_18
  20. couldn't just pack my bags and go to

    Segment details0:53–0:54 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_19
  21. Thailand, or pack my bags and go to a

    Segment details0:55–0:57 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_20
  22. different city, or pack my bags and come

    Segment details0:57–1:00 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_21
  23. back home to England when I felt like it.

    Segment details1:00–1:01 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_22
  24. I couldn't just do what I wanted to do

    Segment details1:02–1:04 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_23
  25. when I wanted to do it, and that was

    Segment details1:04–1:07 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_24
  26. pretty stressful. Not being able to do

    Segment details1:07–1:09 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_25
  27. what I used to be able to do and losing my

    Segment details1:10–1:13 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_26
  28. freedom was, was pretty

    Segment details1:14–1:18 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_27
  29. stressful. And I felt— I think the word

    Segment details1:18–1:20 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_28
  30. trapped is the number one word that comes

    Segment details1:20–1:23 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_29
  31. to mind when I, when I think of my

    Segment details1:24–1:26 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_30
  32. marriage. I just felt trapped, as if I

    Segment details1:27–1:29 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_31
  33. couldn't do what I wanted to do when I

    Segment details1:29–1:32 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_32
  34. wanted to. And it's not just things like

    Segment details1:32–1:35 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_33
  35. traveling, um, there's also simple things

    Segment details1:35–1:39 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_34
  36. like eating the food that I wanted to eat

    Segment details1:40–1:42 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_35
  37. when I wanted to. I had to think about my

    Segment details1:43–1:44 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_36
  38. wife and what she wanted to eat. I

    Segment details1:44–1:46 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_37
  39. couldn't just have convenience food,

    Segment details1:46–1:49 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_38
  40. convenience store food every day because

    Segment details1:49–1:51 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_39
  41. she wouldn't want that. And I had to think

    Segment details1:52–1:55 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_40
  42. about what she wanted as well, not just

    Segment details1:55–1:56 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_41
  43. me. Another, another frustrating thing was

    Segment details1:57–2:00 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_42
  44. that around the time that I got married,

    Segment details2:00–2:02 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_43
  45. my YouTube channel was growing a lot and I

    Segment details2:03–2:05 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_44
  46. was making decent money from it, which was

    Segment details2:06–2:08 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_45
  47. great, but it was just a bit annoying

    Segment details2:08–2:11 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_46
  48. because I finally gained financial

    Segment details2:11–2:14 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_47
  49. independence, but then I couldn't do

    Segment details2:14–2:16 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_48
  50. anything with it because I was married and

    Segment details2:16–2:18 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_49
  51. I couldn't just fly off to Thailand or I

    Segment details2:18–2:21 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_50
  52. couldn't just meet up with random people.

    Segment details2:21–2:23 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_51
  53. It kind of felt like I had been given

    Segment details2:23–2:26 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_52
  54. wings so I could fly, but then someone

    Segment details2:27–2:29 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_53
  55. just put me into a birdcage so I couldn't

    Segment details2:29–2:31 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_54
  56. fly anywhere. It just— it was just kind of

    Segment details2:32–2:34 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_55
  57. frustrating and it felt a bit like a

    Segment details2:34–2:36 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_56
  58. waste, a waste of of gaining this newfound

    Segment details2:37–2:41 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_57
  59. financial independence only to just be put

    Segment details2:41–2:43 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_58
  60. into a birdcage. So you might be

    Segment details2:44–2:47 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_59
  61. wondering, why did I get married in the

    Segment details2:47–2:48 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_60
  62. first place if I regretted it so much?

    Segment details2:49–2:50 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_61
  63. And it wasn't my

    Segment details2:51–2:55 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_62
  64. idea. I didn't say, let's get married. I

    Segment details2:55–2:58 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_63
  65. didn't suggest it. It wasn't my plan to

    Segment details2:58–3:01 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_64
  66. get myself a spouse visa in Japan. I

    Segment details3:01–3:03 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_65
  67. didn't really care about getting a visa in

    Segment details3:04–3:05 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_66
  68. Japan. It was, it was her idea. She

    Segment details3:05–3:08 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_67
  69. suggested that we could get married if we

    Segment details3:09–3:11 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_68
  70. wanted to stay together. And at the time,

    Segment details3:11–3:14 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_69
  71. I thought it was a good idea. I thought at

    Segment details3:15–3:17 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_70
  72. the time getting married and moving to

    Segment details3:18–3:19 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_71
  73. Japan, finally making my dream of living

    Segment details3:20–3:22 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_72
  74. in Japan come true, I thought that would

    Segment details3:22–3:25 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_73
  75. be better than coming back to England and

    Segment details3:25–3:28 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_74
  76. living with my mum and dad in my bedroom.

    Segment details3:28–3:30 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_75
  77. Here in England.

    Segment details3:31–3:33 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_76
  78. I thought it'd be nice if my life was

    Segment details3:35–3:37 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_77
  79. heading in some kind of direction instead

    Segment details3:37–3:40 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_78
  80. of just me sitting in my bedroom for the

    Segment details3:40–3:43 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_79
  81. rest of my life. I imagined myself as a

    Segment details3:43–3:47 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_80
  82. 40-year-old man still here in my bedroom

    Segment details3:47–3:50 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_81
  83. playing video games on my computer over

    Segment details3:51–3:54 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_82
  84. there, and that, that scared me a bit.

    Segment details3:54–3:57 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_83
  85. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted my

    Segment details3:57–4:00 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_84
  86. own life with a

    Segment details4:00–4:03 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_85
  87. wife, a lady, a girlfriend, a partner in

    Segment details4:04–4:07 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_86
  88. my own place. I wanted to be independent,

    Segment details4:07–4:11 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_87
  89. and that's why I just kind of went along

    Segment details4:11–4:14 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_88
  90. with it. I just said, okay, yeah, that

    Segment details4:14–4:17 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_89
  91. sounds like a good idea. Let's get

    Segment details4:18–4:19 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_90
  92. married. What's the worst that could

    Segment details4:19–4:22 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_91
  93. But then after I got married, I started

    Segment details4:28–4:30 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_92
  94. to, to realize that maybe this isn't so

    Segment details4:30–4:33 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_93
  95. great. I, I escaped

    Segment details4:33–4:36 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_94
  96. from one birdcage, this room, and just

    Segment details4:37–4:40 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_95
  97. jumped straight into another birdcage.

    Segment details4:40–4:41 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_96
  98. And the only difference was that I was no

    Segment details4:43–4:46 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_97
  99. longer living with my parents. I replaced

    Segment details4:46–4:48 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_98
  100. my parents with with, with my wife.

    Segment details4:48–4:51 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_99
  101. And I didn't really feel any happier

    Segment details4:53–4:56 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_100
  102. in that situation. I didn't feel as though

    Segment details4:58–5:00 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_101
  103. my life was complete and I could now start

    Segment details5:00–5:03 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_102
  104. feeling happy. I just kept thinking, oh

    Segment details5:03–5:06 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_103
  105. no, I can't go to Thailand, I can't meet

    Segment details5:06–5:08 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_104
  106. up with other girls, and now I have all

    Segment details5:08–5:11 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_105
  107. this financial independence and I can't

    Segment details5:12–5:13 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_106
  108. even take advantage of it. And I don't

    Segment details5:14–5:17 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_107
  109. even know if— I didn't really feel like me

    Segment details5:18–5:21 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_108
  110. and my wife were that suited for each

    Segment details5:21–5:23 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_109
  111. other. I didn't feel like we had much in

    Segment details5:24–5:25 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_110
  112. common. We barely did anything together.

    Segment details5:25–5:29 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_111
  113. And as the months went on, I kept thinking

    Segment details5:31–5:33 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_112
  114. to myself, maybe this wasn't such a great

    Segment details5:33–5:36 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_113
  115. idea. Maybe I should have said no.

    Segment details5:37–5:38 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_114
  116. Maybe we shouldn't have done this. But I

    Segment details5:40–5:42 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_115
  117. didn't have the guts to say no, and I was

    Segment details5:43–5:44 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_116
  118. scared of coming back here.

    Segment details5:45–5:47 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_117
  119. After experiencing being married, I don't

    Segment details5:52–5:56 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_118
  120. really know what to think of marriage

    Segment details5:56–5:57 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_119
  121. anymore. I don't think it's, it's a very

    Segment details5:58–6:01 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_120
  122. good thing, and I don't think I'd

    Segment details6:01–6:04 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_121
  123. ever get married again unless by some

    Segment details6:04–6:08 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_122
  124. miracle I managed to find a girl who's

    Segment details6:08–6:11 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_123
  125. perfect for me, which is probably very

    Segment details6:12–6:14 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_124
  126. unlikely to happen. I just can't really

    Segment details6:15–6:17 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_125
  127. see myself getting married again, and I

    Segment details6:18–6:21 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_126
  128. definitely wouldn't recommend getting

    Segment details6:21–6:22 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_127
  129. married so you can get a visa. That's just

    Segment details6:22–6:25 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_128
  130. a terrible idea. But the visa was the main

    Segment details6:26–6:29 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_129
  131. problem, because if I already had my own

    Segment details6:29–6:31 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_130
  132. visa in Japan, we wouldn't have needed to

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  133. get married,

    Segment details6:34–6:34 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_132
  134. and I wouldn't be in this— wouldn't have

    Segment details6:39–6:41 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_133
  135. had this kind of problem. I don't really

    Segment details6:41–6:43 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_134
  136. think it's a big problem. It just makes

    Segment details6:43–6:46 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_135
  137. separating not as easy as

    Segment details6:47–6:50 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_136
  138. it would have been if we were just

    Segment details6:50–6:52 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_137
  139. boyfriend and girlfriend, because now we

    Segment details6:52–6:55 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_138
  140. have to sign some kind of documents, get

    Segment details6:56–6:57 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_139
  141. it all cancelled. I don't think signing

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  142. the document is difficult or expensive.

    Segment details7:00–7:02 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_141
  143. Actually, I'm pretty sure she said last

    Segment details7:04–7:06 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_142
  144. time she got divorced, she just paid about

    Segment details7:06–7:08 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_143
  145. ¥4,000, signed her name,

    Segment details7:08–7:12 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_144
  146. and then it was done. That was it. It was

    Segment details7:12–7:13 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_145
  147. pretty, pretty easy, pretty cheap.

    Segment details7:14–7:16 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_146
  148. But she's still the Prime Minister, and

    Segment details10:24–10:26 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_147
  149. everybody was going to expect— and I do,

    Segment details10:26–10:30 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_148
  150. I've always said this, I always admire

    Segment details10:30–10:32 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_149
  151. celebrity like Reuters jumping out and

    Segment details10:32–10:35 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_150
  152. being resilient, but I felt it would be

    Segment details10:35–10:39 · rev_79fe1d563b66efbfafb291c843b94339_151
  153. They claim

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