My first girlfriend - I couldn't get it in

Take a long time.

Hey, so in this video I want to talk about

my very first girlfriend. Now I've

actually made a video talking about this

before last year, but I had to delete it

and no one really saw it anyway. It got

only a few hundred views. I needed to

delete all my videos from last year

because they showed the outside of my

house and I don't really want to dox

myself again, so I'm going to remake this

video. I'm gonna guess that some of you

already know this story, or you've heard

bits and pieces of this story because I've

talked about it before in previous videos.

But when I checked my video library, I

couldn't actually find a dedicated video

to this relationship or to this girl. So

I'm going to make that one, that video

today. So it all started after Sayaka

demped me. So it all started after Sayaka

dumped me for the Czech guy. Remember

that? Remember that video? That was a fun

time, wasn't it? So after 2 weeks of being

depressed because I was dumped, I decided

to get back onto the internet and look for

another Japanese girl, and I found this

other Japanese girl called Sayuri, and we

talked every day for a few months, and I

didn't want to let the same thing happen

again. I didn't want to wait for years and

years until I go and meet her because I

didn't want some other guy to come along

and take her away from me. So I decided to

go to Japan 2 months later in February

2010 to meet her. So I bought my plane

ticket, I booked my accommodation at this

guesthouse, and I went to Japan for the

very first time. It was my very first time

in Japan. It was my very first time

traveling anywhere by myself using an

aeroplane. I was really nervous about the

whole thing. Going to airports and getting

on planes seemed like a really complicated

and confusing thing to do at the time. I

was worried that I was gonna get lost,

that, that I wouldn't know where to go,

or I would get on the wrong plane or

something like that. Anyway, I got to

Japan, everything was okay. I got off the

plane, I got to the airport, and Sayuri

was standing there waiting for me at the

airport. And honestly speaking, the very

first feeling that I felt when I saw her

in real life was disappointment. She

didn't look anywhere near as cute or

pretty as she did in her pictures or on

video, on Skype video. She looks She

looked similar, but there was something

about her that looked really different,

and I was kind of disappointed. I felt

like, oh shit, this is what she looks

like. I wasn't expecting this. One of the

main things I didn't really like about her

was her height. She was too tall. She was

like the same height as me. Sometimes it

felt like we were the same height, and

that made me feel very uncomfortable and

insecure. I don't like it when girls are

really tall or taller than me. It makes me

feel strange. It makes me feel like I'm

not a real man. I know it's kind of a

stupid thing to say, but it's the truth,

and I think that a lot of men feel like

this. Also, she was wearing high heels,

which I just don't understand why women

like to wear high heels. Men don't like

tall women. Men like women that are

shorter than them, and if you wear high

heels, you're making us short guys or not

very tall guys feel insecure. Stop wearing

high heels. Another thing that I didn't

really like was the size of her face. Her

face was gigantic. It was like A

watermelon. Now, I haven't really noticed

this before I went to Japan or Asia, but I

have a very small face, and Asian people

are always telling me, Daniel, your face

is so small, and girls don't like taking

photos with me because my small face makes

their face look gigantic. Look at my face

compared to the size of my hands. It's

pretty small, and her face was gigantic.

When I held her face like this, it felt

like I was holding a rugby ball or

watermelon. It was really awkward between

us. She took me to the guesthouse and she

just basically left me at the guesthouse

because she had to go home because it was

getting late. And the guesthouse manager

wasn't even there because it was a Sunday.

So I had to wait for the manager to come

to the guesthouse to sort out my room and

my contracts and stuff like that. So I was

just sitting in the guesthouse all by

myself and it was like 10 PM. There was

hardly anyone around. I didn't know

anyone. I felt Really uncomfortable,

really— um, what's the word?

Fuck. Abandoned. Left alone. Insecure.

Anxious, I guess. For some reason, I had

this stupid idea that when I got to Japan,

we would meet up every day. We would spend

every day together. But it turns out

things were very different. She was very

busy. She was a university student. She

was attending all these interviews for

different companies, trying to look for a

job after she graduated. And we could only

meet up like once or twice a week, and I

was pretty upset about this. And I told

her that I was upset and disappointed

about this, and I guess I kind of made her

feel bad about it. Now that I think about

it, I was really immature about the whole

thing. A few weeks go past and we've been

on a few dates together, we've spent some

time together, and my honest opinion of

her wasn't very good. She was very boring,

very serious, very mature. She had no

sense of humor. If I did something kind of

immature or childish, she would be very

embarrassed. For example, there was this

time when there was this—we were walking

in this park and there was this big stick

on the floor, and for some reason I

decided to pick up the big stick and chuck

it into a bush. And this really

embarrassed her. For some reason, she

started apologizing to everyone around us.

She was like, "すみません、すみません、すみませんでした." And

I was like, "Why the fuck are you

apologizing to everyone? All I did was

pick up a stick and chuck it into a bush.

I don't understand what the big problem

was." It was so embarrassing for me as

well. Like, I. I felt like I was a child,

like she was my mother apologizing to

everyone for me. Also, sometimes when we

went to restaurants together, sometimes I

couldn't finish all my food because I

don't eat a lot, and she would eat her

entire meal. She would eat everything.

And sometimes I would just like leave a

quarter of my food behind because I was so

full I couldn't stuff it in anymore. And

she would get annoyed. She would get

angry. She'd be like, you have to eat it

all, otherwise you're not a real man. You

can't— it makes me look bad as a girl. If

I'm eating more than you. You can't let

the girl eat more than the guy because it

makes the girl look like a pig. That was

her way of thinking, and it was really

stupid and irritating, and I felt kind of

stressed out because I didn't want to

force myself to eat more food than I

actually wanted to eat because it just

made me feel sick. And then on Valentine's

Day in February, we decided to go to Tokyo

Disneyland to stay there for a few nights,

and she organized everything. She booked

all the hotels, she booked the plane

tickets, and we went to Tokyo Disneyland.

And she was kind of upset because I didn't

seem very enthusiastic were excited to be

going to Disneyland, and to be honest, I

wasn't. I didn't find Disneyland

interesting or exciting. I thought it was

kind of boring. I'm not really interested

in Disney because I'm not a 10-year-old

child, and I'm not really like this

high-energy, hyperactive kind of person.

You've seen me in videos. I'm like the

low— lowest energy person you would ever

meet, and I'm kind of like that in real

life as well. I don't really express

excitement or joy At all very well. So we

walked around Disneyland and DisneySea for

a bit. I think I have some photos.

And then the day started to come to an

end. It started to get dark, and we

decided to go to head back to the hotel.

And this is actually our very first time

staying in a hotel together. Up until

then, we hadn't even slept together yet,

so I was really nervous and excited and

looking forward to it. It was so awkward.

We got to the hotel, and I didn't even try

to do anything at first. I didn't even try

to kiss her or touch her. We just

basically went to bed. We slept in the

same bed. We turned off the lights and I

lay down to sleep. And then she started

talking. She said, are you just going to

go to sleep? And then I took this as an

invitation to, to do stuff to her. So I

suddenly turned around and faced her and

then I started kissing her and touching

her. It was really awkward and strange at

first, and I started touching her nipples,

I remember, and she quite liked it. And

then we started taking off our clothes.

But we didn't have a condom, so we had to

put our clothes back on. And I went back

down to the hotel reception. I went out

to the convenience store to buy condoms,

and I bought some condoms and we went back

to the hotel room. So we had to undress

again. And this is when all the problems

started. So I put the condom on for the

very first time in my life and I had a

full erection. I was ready to go. I had

watched a lot of pornography before then,

so I kind of knew what to do. It was my

very first time having sex, so I was kind

of nervous. Wasn't quite sure exactly how

to do it. So I started off by putting my

fingers inside of her, which was pretty

easy. She felt kind of wet, which was a

good sign, so I thought it was okay to put

my penis in. But when I tried putting my

penis in, it just wouldn't go in. I don't

know what was happening. I tried and I

tried, but it wasn't going in. I think she

was clenching or something because she was

nervous, or maybe she was anticipating

pain or something, so she was clenching.

But I tried putting it in, and every time

it just wouldn't go in, and I had no idea

what was going wrong. It was also her very

first time having sex, so she had no idea

what to do either, and she started to get

very embarrassed. Like, every time I would

touch her down there, she would

instinctively close her legs together,

and then I had to open them back up, and

it started to get really irritating

because it was like she didn't really want

to do it. She kept like Resisting?

Not resisting. That makes me sound like I

was trying to rape her. Anyway, after a

few hours of this, I was starting to get

fed up and frustrated, and it was starting

to get very difficult to maintain the

erection because nothing was happening.

So I took the condom off and I got her to

give me a blowjob, and then I ended up

ejaculating on her stomach, and— and that

was it. We tried again the next night as

well, but the same thing happened. We

still couldn't do it. I had no idea having

sex would be this difficult. It always

looked so easy on the internet. The next

day we had to check out of the hotel and

go back to the airport to fly back to her

town, and things kept going wrong. I lost

my wallet. It turns out I dropped my

wallet in the convenience store when I was

buying condoms. The police ended up

sending it back to me, so it was fine.

And then I couldn't find my plane ticket,

so we had to get a new ticket printed out,

and we nearly missed the plane. And when

we got on the plane, she just suddenly

started crying, and I had no idea why.

She said that she was really stressed out.

She had to do all the work, like booking

all the hotels and the tickets. She said

that she felt like she had to do

everything and And I didn't do anything to

help her out, like with the booking or the

tickets, and I wasn't even enthusiastic

about going to Disneyland, so it felt like

she wasted her time. It was so

embarrassing. She was just crying really

loudly on the plane, and we were

surrounded by people, and I was

apologizing to her, saying, sorry, I'm

sorry, I didn't know that you were so

upset about this. Next time I'll be more

helpful, help out more. And I got her to

stop crying. It was It was just so

embarrassing. A few weeks later, she said

I could come to her house. So I went to

her house. I went up to her bedroom. Her

family weren't there, so we got naked and

we got into her bed and we tried having

sex again. But the same thing happened. I

couldn't— I still couldn't get it in. It

nearly got in. I felt like it was starting

to go in, but then for some reason we

stopped and I ended up ejaculating on her

stomach again. And then we went to the

supermarket and We had McDonald's and ice

cream. She also started to get frustrated

about this. She said that maybe we should

give up on trying to have sex. Maybe we

should just be a couple that doesn't have

sex. And I was like, no, I don't want

that. Of course I want to have sex. And I

was getting more and more irritated with

her and fed up. And around this time,

this Korean lady moved into the guest

house, and we were getting very close. I

was getting extremely close to this

Korean, Korean lady. And one night she

came to my room and we ended up having

sex, proper sex. I actually managed to get

it in and And after that, I met Sayuri

one more time, and then she blocked me on

everything. She blocked me on Skype, on

emails, on Facebook, on everything. And I

had this suspicion that she found out that

I cheated on her, but it turns out that

she cheated on me because that Korean

lady, she said that she became friends

with Sayuri on Facebook, and she saw these

pictures of Sayuri with this white guy.

Yeah, it kind of sounds like she also

found a new guy around the same time that

I found the Korean lady, which sounds

like— it sounds like it's too much of a

coincidence to be true. I don't know if it

was actually true or if the Korean lady

was making it up, but I didn't care at

that time. I had completely lost all

interest in Sayuri. There was just nothing

about her that interested me anymore, and

I was completely into the Korean lady. We

were having sex every night, 2 to 3 times

a day. And I was really satisfied and

happy about that. And that was pretty much

everything that happened with my very

first girlfriend. So now you know. I'm

pretty sure a lot of you already know

about this because I've talked about it in

bits and pieces in previous videos, like I

said earlier. But I just wanted to make an

official video to document the whole

thing. And yeah, I guess I've done that

now. Also, if you wanted to see the

livestream, I'm thinking about doing

another livestream sometime next week,

but I'm not sure when is a good time. The

tricky thing is everyone comes from

different time zones, and I kind of need

to get the livestream finished before 6 PM

before my dad gets back from work,

because I really want to do the livestream

when I'm by myself. I just— I can't focus

or concentrate on doing a livestream when

I feel like there's people in the house

that might be listening to what I say.

And so I might be doing it from 4 to 6 PM

British time, and I don't think that's a

very good time for people in America

because 4 to 6 PM in England is like what,

midday in America, and I guess most people

are at work or school, so I'm not

sure. I guess I have to do some thinking

about this.