why i HATE Hogwart's Legacy

Testing.

Testing, testing,

testing.

Okay, I think it's working.

Fingers crossed.

Crust.

Hold on, I want to make a thumbnail for

my new video.

My whole computer froze up because of this

I updated the NVIDIA graphics driver.

It seems to have fixed the problem.

It did warn me saying that my graphics

card driver could crash the game, but I

Wait, how many died in this earthquake

from Turkey? I heard it was a few hundred.

That's quite a lot of people.

Imagine dying, that must be crazy.

Ah, why is my iPhone not connected?

Live streaming can be so annoying.

Is it streaming?

Testing.

Is it streaming?

Scared now. Never had so many problems

trying to stream a game.

Wait, I'm just posting, posting the clip

of me creating the character onto YouTube.

My review of the character creation

process in Hogwarts Legacy— I was gonna

put racist, but Can't

really think of how the character creation

bit is racist. Not enough diversity.

If I link my stream on

the YouTube video.

Might get some viewers.

Streaming on Twitch.

Copy. Public.

Save.

I don't know why the tutorial part of the

game worked fine, but then when I got to

Hogwarts it just crashed. Now it's fine.

Very weird.

Definitely think that's the most

attractive face. Oh no, I changed

There's only 2 good-looking faces.

Okay, video's up. I thought you wasn't

coming back on. No, I just had to download

the new driver.

For my graphics card.

Create a dashboard.

Okay, let's see if I can actually play the

game now. Seems smooth. I don't think it

has anything to do with lowering my

graphics. The graphics aren't that

amazing. Okay, so you come here

with preferences. What do I want to do?

Can't wait to start classes. Can't wait to

explore. Classes sounds kind of boring.

By having an adventurous spirit,

but your professors have a great deal to

teach you as well.

Hmm, I wonder. To teach you as well.

Hmm, I detect something in you,

a certain sense of— hmm,

what is it?

Daring, curiosity, loyalty, ambition.

Why does this matter? Oh, I guess they're

gonna sort me into a house based off of

what I choose. I want to get Gryffindor

because I like the common room there. All

the other houses look crap.

Daring. A sense of adventure. I like to

think that I'm not afraid of anything.

Oh, but you're brave at heart.

Exceptionally daring. Undaunted by

the unknown. Willing to forge ahead alone

when you must. Perhaps you

belong in Gryffindor.

Uh, yeah, that's what I thought it would

give to me. Yeah, I'll go with Gryffindor.

Why not? Who cares?

I thought I'd like Slytherin because I

like to be evil, but I don't like green.

I I don't like the common room either.

Oh, it looks kind of stuttery.

It's not very smooth. Please don't— F.

One more thing. Due to the unfortunate

injury on the pitch in last spring's

finals, This year's Quidditch season has

been cancelled.

Enough! It's not— I don't know why I'm

lagging so much. It's not internet lag,

it's like laptop CPU lag. We are here to

focus on your academic futures. I'm sure

you will have plenty to do before classes

begin tomorrow.

It lagged so much earlier it crashed

everything on my computer, including

Streamlabs. I think it crashed everything.

That's why the stream effed, because even

if it crashed, the stream should have

stayed online.

My whole computer was frozen, nearly

stuttering so badly I had to restart the

Get an Xbox X.

How would I stream on it? I think you can

stream, can you? My first British

girlfriend last year, she streamed Genshin

Impact from her PS5.

People do just use the built-in console

streaming stuff, don't they? I think they

were talking about it on Trash Taste.

Apparently Connor has some porn star

friend who streams

Fortnite from her PlayStation.

Why does Connor have loads of— I guess

because he's friends with that Carho

woman, but he's got a load of porn star

friends. Maybe I should turn the graphics

down. It's not smooth.

Motion blur off.

What's this?

DLSS. Should I put that on or turn it off?

Wow, the graphics on ultra. Maybe I should

put on medium. Apply settings.

Sound— I want to turn the music down a

little bit. Pitch.

Why would I care about the pitch of my

character's voice?

Okay, let's see if that helps. I don't

want to play in ultra mode.

It still— it doesn't feel smooth.

Also, I want to keybind sprint to E, not

Shift. Why does every game keybind sprint

to Shift?

Every time. How do I change it?

Sprint E.

Does E even do anything? I hate pressing

the Shift button with my little finger.

Oh, look at the reflections! Actually put

the graphics to medium. Haha,

that's good graphics for the reflection.

If it's on ultra, would it actually

reflect myself in the mirror?

Oh, I can shoot my laser.

At random things. What's it writing?

Find your common room.

I think it's running okay now.

Well, I don't think I can refund it

anymore. It's been 2 hours, so I better

get value out of this.

Gonna have to make like 20 videos. One of

them is gonna get good views, it has to.

Wow, my character's so ugly. Jesus Christ,

she looked cute in the character creation.

It's just when she makes weird facial

expressions, she's very ugly.

Can I strip her? Where's the inventory and

gear stuff?

This is just options. Where, where's like

the gear menu?

You— all these buttons just go to the

options settings.

Maybe you need to unlock it.

Now, which way is the common room?

Why is there no people here?

Oh, there's some people. Imagine you can

just kill everyone in the school.

They don't have any boobs.

Can't perv at them like Cyberpunk.

You'll like

it, trust me.

I feel like this should be an MMO. It has

MMO vibes.

Talk to Gareth. You'll like it.

Sure you don't want to Try it. Brewed it

myself. They drinking alcohol?

Hello, you're the new 5th year. Pleased to

meet you. I'm Gareth Weasley. Heard about

your travels here. Can't believe it. Glad

you and Fig are all right. Is it true that

someone from the Ministry was with you in

the carriage? Oh, uh, yes. Uh, 2 hours. I

can't refund it anymore. Didn't mean to

pry. Nasty business, dragons. Again, very

glad you're here. Thank you, Gareth. So am

I. Are you related to Professor

Weasley? I am. She's my aunt.

That must be nice. Nice having an aunt for

a professor. You'd think so, wouldn't you?

Aunt Matilda tends to treat me as if I'm a

first year. Keeps too close an eye on me.

It's all a bit suffocating, to be honest.

Still, she means well, and she's an

incredibly powerful witch. She'll have

Are you having butterbeer for breakfast?

Hmm? Oh no, I've been perfecting a recipe

I came up with over the summer. I'm almost

there. Based on some reactions, it may

need a bit more work.

Seems you enjoy brewing. Might I assume

that you have a talent for potions of all

sorts? Well, as I see it, there's little

difference fundamentally between brewing a

modification to Butterbeer and a

Wiggenweld. They all sound so nerdy.

Pleasure to meet you as well.

Uh, I don't really care about talking to

every damn NPC.

If the gameplay is not fun, I'm gonna find

it hard to care about this game. That girl

thinks she can get away with anything.

Oh, what did I do wrong this time? I don't

know what I'm doing wrong. It's not a

complicated spell. I should be able to do

it nonverbally. Why is this not working?

Oh, hello there. Welcome to Gryffindor.

The voice acting's so cringy. Theatrical

arrival to the sorting ceremony. Is it

true? I'm not sure I'd say that, but it's

like they're trying too hard before we

arrive to sound English. I was hoping he

might have given you some advice on

non-verbal casting. Is that what you were

trying to do just then? Oh yes, having a

spot of trouble. I've mastered

but this is proving a bit trickier.

Don't worry.

Oh, introduce yourself

to Nelly.

I'm sure you've

used them. How do I get up there?

She gets bolder every year.

I hope a professor catches her this time.

She gets bolder every year. I saw your

YouTube video, came here. Which one?

The character creation thing.

She gets bolder every year. How do I get

up there? Who does

Nelly think she is anyway?

Ah, why is everyone so highly strung?

It's perfectly safe.

Well, hello. Don't mind me, I find it

helpful to change my point of view. Yeah,

yeah, it is true. But I'll say anyway.

New Gryffindor, Professor Weasley

is waiting for you outside the common

room.

I can't refund it now, played it for 2

hours. Scammed.

I trust you're ready for your first day at

Hogwarts. I've been dreaming of this day

for a long time. Camila Fat Bottom.

I forgot I called her that. I don't

know why people love Harry Potter so much.

I liked it when I was a kid. I fancied

Hermione. After I got over the age of 12

or 14, I couldn't really Care less about

it.

People are nerding out over this game so

hard. She's hot now. Who, Emma Watson?

No, she's ugly.

I watched a movie last night on Netflix.

Emma Watson was in it. It's like some

stupid weird comedy movie with Seth Rogen,

James Franco. She looks like a female

version of Tyrion Lannister. She's got

like weird nose and massive forehead.

I certainly would have appreciated

something like the field guide when I was

a student. Using the guide will also train

you to be alert to your surroundings. Do

keep up.

Ah, the guide appears to have some

information for you about that painting of

poor Verufio.

What's happening here? Is that guy Making

love with that cow. What is he doing?

That looks wrong.

Police gonna come to my house again

because I say something about fucking

a yak. Oh, it's a buffalo.

It's sitting on him. It's got its anus

over his dick. I think they're doing more

than sitting on him.

Look at his face as well, like he's

coming. Police gonna come to my house

again now. We saw

a clip saying that you wanted to fuck a

buffalo.

Oh my god, what the hell is all this?

Field guide pages.

Keep your eyes open for more opportunities

like that, inside and outside of the

castle. Oh, it's a cat. Mrs. Mimo.

No time to waste. So weird-looking cat.

Become an evil wizard. Can you even

be evil? There's no evil dialogue

choices.

Perfect opportunity to show you how to use

blue flames to get around a bit quicker.

Your field guide contains a map of the

castle. Open it up and find Central Hall.

I hate stupid hand-holding tutorials.

Select the south wing region.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just press everything.

Thinks I've never played a game before.

Bestiality must happen in Harry Potter.

Where do those centaur things come from?

Half man, half horse. Looks like I'm not

the only one who has a thing for the

horsies.

These stairs lead directly to Central

Hall. Can't be evil in Gryffindor. Ah,

damn, should have chosen Slytherin.

Always something happening here. It's

literally nothing happening here. There's

nothing happening, just people standing

around. That should be

all for now. You'll be expected to attend

both Charms and Defense Against the Dark

Arts classes today, and I'd like to be

sure you get to Hogsmeade as soon as

possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck off.

Thank you. He's my— we

did exploring ruins.

Speak of the devil, Professor Fig.

Your ears must have been burning. Oh yes,

perfect. Blah blah blah,

come on, when does the game start? Good

luck today, and yes, come find me in

my classroom. Harry Potter games are so

weird. Because it's

like you're supposed to be a student, but

you end up doing all this weird stuff that

a student would never do.

When do I get to murder goblins?

Yeah, I've been playing for 2 hours now.

I spent 40 minutes on character creation.

I still haven't gone to like the main meat

of the game.

I want to do fighting quests and stuff.

Um, attend Dark Arts class.

The map is enchanted. Now, south— I—

I'm not going to lose any more sleep over

this.

It feels

kind of laggy. Why does this just feel

like the old Harry Potter game but looks

slightly better? It's very similar.

I don't know if I played the first Harry

Potter game on PlayStation. I think I did.

I was just like running around the castle

and then there's weird things everywhere

and you do some magic.

Professor Ronan tends to go on a bit. We

sometimes have to remind him to finish the

lesson. How many

videos do I have to make about this game

to make back my money? I need $70.

I'm getting— thank you.

What's that word when you buy something

and regret it?

Buyer's remorse. That's the word.

Shall we begin? Welcome to year 5 of

charms. Now, this will be a crucial year

in your education on the art of charm.

The spell system is just pressing spacebar

and guiding it through a line. It's weird.

Why I regret buying Hogwarts Legacy, next

video. That is not bad.

You are a swift learner. I see a

lot of potential, but remember Potential

is nothing without practice.

Video games so expensive now, nearly $100

for some games.

I went to the gym on Saturday. Now it's

Wednesday, is it? My arms are still

hurting a little bit. Hand in

hand with mastery, as I'm sure the

Quidditch players amongst us would agree.

So what better?

Very simply, cast Accio on one of the

spheres. Why do Harry Potter games always

just feel like a bunch of random minigames

everywhere?

It is just like non-stop Random

silly minigames using magic.

I can lift the 15 kg dumbbell now. Do one

rep. That's progress.

Oh yeah, real challenge.

I have to press F.

I want him to say my name. Mrs. Fat

Bottom.

I hate minigames in games. They're always

so gimmicky and they're not actually fun.

What do I do? 4.

They should make the minigames online so

you go against other people and then you

win something like money.

Why they call you Blowmaster? Who did?

In the game? Maybe you blow a teacher off

to get points.

Can you imagine what

you could do with magic in terms of sex?

Can I beat her up for beating me?

Let us make this a bit more interesting,

shall we? Ah, not again.

What's the point of this?

I think you have to go to the class, do

like a minigame, and then you unlock the

How many times a day do you think about

sex? Only when I'm really bored, and it's

getting a bit boring.

I only

jerk off once in the morning.

Recently I like searching for Vietnamese

girls getting effed. Vietnamese girls are

so tiny. I only realized that

recently. Something hot

about Vietnamese girls.

When I went to Vietnam, I thought they

were children. They were women. They were

like 4'10 midgets everywhere.

So tiny. Vietnamese girls

are kind of hot. I wonder how many of them

actually mix with French DNA from the

colonial times. They must have interbred

quite a lot. The French colonized Vietnam

for like 100 years.

How am I liking it? Am I liking it so far?

Not really. There's nothing about it that

is really hooking me yet.

It's just like cutscene after cutscene

after cutscene.

It turns out we were— took me weeks to

become proficient with Accio. Took weeks

for me to get anything right when I

transferred here. It gets easier, I

promise.

But I've been holding my own. I appreciate

your confidence. I transferred here from

Wagadu just before my fourth year. My

mother received an offer to teach

divination here. Before I knew it, we had

left Uganda and were halfway around the

world at a new school in a new country.

Wow, it's been nice. Don't really care

about you, Wagadu. Geddon. Thanks very

much.

I wish I could kill them or something like

GTA, push them around.

Okay, so what do I do now?

Talk to him. You want— I did.

Well, an outdoor competition. And what a

close match between you and Miss Onai.

Invigorating. Thank you, Professor. I

enjoyed the match. Miss Onai is always a

fierce competitor, though I sense that she

is a bit distracted of late. Now I think

about it, wasn't everyone in Harry Potter

white in the movies? Even all the teachers

were white. I don't remember a single

black person. The only Asian girl was that

love interest, Cho Chang Cho or something.

Okay, what do I do now?

Level 2.

I hope it's like Cyberpunk where you can

level up different things. I liked it in

Cyberpunk where if you leveled up

strength, you you could break open doors,

or if you leveled up hacking, you could

hack into stuff.

Why do they sound so retarded? Hello

there, you're the new student, aren't you?

They sound so dumb. The voice acting is

weird.

No one speaks normally.

Why would there be Asian kids in the 1890s

in England? How would

they get here? On the boat? I don't think

Chinese people traveled to England in the

1890s. I guess they teleported using

magic.

It was Albert Boot. No, it wasn't. It was

Basil Flack. Oh, fight, fight! It's a bold

attack. Was the minister a boot or the

minister a man? Stop it, Peeves, you'll

get us in trouble. In trouble you will be

if you can't keep peace and quiet. I

should just blow their heads off with this

laser. Peeves, enough! You'll get us all

detention. And you both can't tell me what

you're doing. I had a weird dream last

night. I was playing chess, but it was

like roulette, and then you won money for

some reason, and I won like ¥180,000,

and then I was trying to find out how to

cash out the money before the dream ended.

I thought it was real. I thought I was

gonna be rich.

Okay, where do I go?

Maybe it could be a fun game. I don't know

why I'm not liking it so far. It's just

not cool, like Cyberpunk was cool. This

just seems a bit cringy.

Do I go up here? I don't think I do.

It seems kind of laggy.

It's not smooth.

I've got so many things to complain about

now I've actually played it.

What's this?

How do I use it?

Side quests.

There's a really bad smell coming from my

bathroom. Smells like sewage. I don't know

where it's coming from. Maybe the drain.

I can smell it.

They always go on and on about how you can

explore the entire school, but it's

not that interesting exploring the school.

It's just like random hallways and rooms,

people just standing around.

I've always said that travel broadens the

Stupefy! Stupefy! Is that

all you've got?

Leviosa! Professor Hackett! Perhaps you'd

be good enough to blast each other to

pieces on your own time. I get new

students every year, but I only have one

Hebridean black skull. It was a token from

the great poacher raid of 1878. No doubt

you've heard of it. No, no. You may be

asking yourself how an old woman like me

single-handedly took out the largest

poacher ring in eastern Wales and lived to

boast about it.

To the wise, age matters very little.

Today we will review a spell that has

saved me from death at the hands of dark

wizards more times than I care to

remember. Levioso. Levioso, a levitation

charm. Levioso! A surprised

opponent is a weak opponent. Care to

defend yourself, Master for it?

No. One thing I've learned as an

Unspeakable is the value of simplicity,

especially in the heat of battle. Now

let's practice what we've just learned,

starting with something small.

I don't understand the point of this

minigame. It's not gonna make me do this

during combat, is it? Do you just do it

once?

You just do it once and then you unlock

it. Seems so unnecessary.

Now let's try something a little larger.

Let us begin with a basic cut.

Whoa, lagging. Why am I

lagging so much? Deflected your cast.

This time, cast Levioso first, then the

basic cast. Remember, a surprised scope.

Now Very

good, but the best way to practice is by

dueling. We'll start with you 2.

Duelists, take your marks. Time for a

proper Hogwarts welcome. Now I want a fair

duel using only Levioso, basic cast,

and Protego. You may begin.

This should be— This can't

be your first duel. Let's just say I'm a

quick learner. I tailor my students for

this event. My students? Your favor,

I thank you. Watch your opponent for signs

to attack or defend yourself.

You're good. Thank you.

Try to anticipate your opponent's

next move.

Did he

fall off? I don't know

if the combat would be any fun for a

beginner. It doesn't feel feel like you're

doing anything apart from flinging lights

I put you on the spot. I demand

excellence from my students. They are

capable of achieving it, and they must

achieve it. A classroom duel is one thing,

but battling dark wizards, or as ever more

likely goblins. So again,

well done today. I shall reach out soon

with additional assignments.

All right, that's enough spectacle for one

day. Class is dismissed.

When does the game begin? Imagine this

is the whole game. Enjoyed that. Just

talking to people, certainly good

practice. Practice?

I've dueled enough. Fair enough.

You owe me an honest duel when you are

unsanctioned.

Look for Luke and Brattleby near the clock

tower entrance if you're interested.

It's just like, go here, talk to that

person, go there, do this.

Uh, what do I do now? You can't imagine.

Um, gear. Can I make a naked

Unequip. Oh, I can. Oh, naked!

Ah, I want to make her naked.

Unequip. Ah, nearly got her naked.

Hahaha.

Can I walk around like this? That's

interesting. I can put glasses

on her. She looks like a Sims character.

How to strip your Hogwarts character down.

I bet someone's gonna make a mod where

she's like in her panties.

If the game would stop holding my damn

hand and just let me play it, it could be

interesting, but it's pissing me off.

Just let me play the game, for God's

sake. I don't want to watch a movie. Mila

Fat Bottom. I mean, that does look kind of

like Mila's. I should have called it Flat

Bottom, just like Mila.

Police are coming for you. Is it illegal

to perv over— well, in my playthrough of

Hogwarts Legacy, my character is actually

18 years old. My character,

my rules. She is of age.

What is that zoom in on her crotch for?

Black leather gloves.

Kind of weird you can just take off a

robe. I don't want a stupid robe.

It definitely unlocks like a special hat.

I think I need to link it because I got

the deluxe version.

The game released for everyone else but

me. Where do you live? I think your time

zone has an effect on when you can play

How to be a pedo. In Hogwarts Legacy.

If I can see some good customization

ability in the game, I might get

interested in it. If it's just like boring

linear, go here, do that.

Appearances, challenges,

quests.

I hate all this tutorial stuff.

What do I do?

It's not telling me what to do.

It just says question mark.

Crossed Wands. Talk to Lucan Brattleby.

Inventory.

What about stuff like talent trees?

Untrack. Oh my god, you can see her bum

I'm now liking the game 4.2% more.

So I have to go here.

Do I? Yeah. Okay, how do I get

I wish my face wasn't so ugly though. She

looks okay in the character creation

thing. I would

be impressed if they made comments on your

appearance, like, why aren't you wearing

your robe?

Illegal to have sexualized depictions of

minors. Doesn't matter

if they are drawn 3D or anything. Ah,

what's the point playing an RPG if you

can't perv on your character?

Someone's clipping this and sending it to

the police. There's that stupid Gunner

Larson. I know you're here.

Why don't you suck on a Weasley, Gunner?

Can I shoot the cat? Is this animal

cruelty? Someone's gonna report me to the

animal thing.

Imagine you get reported for

I think Gunner has an alt called Old

Dawson because he was saying stuff in the

comments. Some Japanese people commented

on my PewDiePie video and he was saying,

this is Daniel typing in Japanese. Yeah,

as if my Japanese is that good. I— they

did, Professor. I heard as much from—

seems Professor Fig taught you quite a bit

during your— yeah, he gave me a private

one-on-one lesson in the cave.

What race is your character? I don't know,

she looks Hispanic, doesn't she? She

didn't look like this when I was making

it.

Scammed. I'd like to go with Natty.

Excellent choice. She recorded a rather

unsavory— no time to— I

have no idea what she said.

You've been practicing. Report to

Professor Ronan.

Ah, there you are. Indeed I do. The whole

game is just talking to people so far.

Collect flying page near the broken

statue. Collect flying page.

Oh my god, this is so boring. Professor,

why?

This is the right area. I wonder where the

flying cage is.

What's this?

Professor, why must I complete these

tasks? How long have you been live? About

an hour now. As you proceed to master new

bits— I

don't do these stupid side quests. What do

Do I have to fix it?

Oh, look at all the different spells.

Maybe I need to unlock the spell to finish

that one.

Learn Repairer.

How do I learn it?

Did I buy the new handheld console? What,

the AYANEO? No, it's too expensive.

It's too much of a gamble. I don't know if

I could get views.

I don't know what to do.

Why is it going all blurry?

Too much radiation.

Rebellion.

Oh look, it's following me.

What does it do? Maybe to put it back up

there.

How do I put it up there?

Mm-hmm.

Doesn't let me push it.

How do I let go of it?

I got a hat.

Where's my hat?

Should I wear the hat?

I look weird.

Flying mounts.

The scenery looks quite nice.

It's kind of like Elden Ring, that magical

castle in Elden Ring. It looks like this.

It'd be cool if I could just jump off.

What?

What's the point of that?

Oh, oh, I teleported. I see.

It's open world. Yeah, but you need

the broom to fly around, I think. When are

they gonna let me go outside and do what I

want? I don't know if

there's fall damage.

All the reviews for this game are so lame.

They're all the same. They're like,

Hogwarts Legacy is an enchanting and

magical game.

It really feels like you're at Hogwarts.

It will take you back to when you were a

child. The nostalgia, blah blah blah blah.

What are you up to now?

All the reviews came out from those big

channels at the same time.

I just want to see someone shit on the

game. I feel like I'm the only one who

does that. This game's so rubbish and

boring, not up to my standards.

Where the fuck do I go?

This quest is locked.

What happened to all the quests?

All these green things.

Talk to Zenobia. No, okay, what is the

main quest? I don't wanna do these stupid

side quests.

Oh, accidentally teleported.

Learn Repairer. Maybe I should do that. I

had the weirdest dream last night, a

different dream. I was doing driving

lessons again. My driving instructor was

there and the car was really weird.

Like I couldn't reach the pedals.

I was pressing the brake, but the car

wouldn't stop moving. That keeps happening

in dreams.

A flying page must be around here

somewhere. Revelio.

I don't know why I keep having nightmares

about driving.

And the same thing happens every time.

Professor, why must I— They are me. Good

luck. That was a waste of time.

Do you know how much money I wasted

learning to drive? Nearly £3,000.

I knew that would be a waste. Why did I

let people trick me, convince me into

thinking I needed to know how to drive?

It's like the most unimportant skill ever

that people seem to think is really

important.

Oh my god, what do I do?

It says go here. How?

Oh, there's a minimap at the bottom with a

line. Why didn't anyone tell me?

You don't need it until you do. Yeah,

but I don't see why I would ever need to

drive. There's always taxis

and trains. I had to go to

immigration a couple weeks ago. I took a

taxi, cost me like £4.

I live right next to a train station as

well. So if I had to go somewhere

every day— says

this is locked. I need to progress

my studies. Before going to Hogsmeade.

How did it cost £3K?

I think he charged me— I

forgot now— £30 a lesson,

and I took— I think I took like 50

lessons. 50 times 30 is

1,500,

but then I spent 800 on car insurance for

my mum's car.

I have no idea what to do.

It's telling me to go here, but she won't

let me go out. I don't think I can do this

now. Best to come back.

I've always said that travel broadens the

I wish I brought that out.

Speak to Ronan. I did, but then he told me

to do something. How do I get

there?

Where is he?

Visit Hogsmeade.

Why won't it let me go there?

Maybe just collect these and then

Handy resource indeed, your field guide.

I'm most pleased to be included.

Oh, she did comment on my clothing. I was

saying earlier they would— they should say

stuff about how you look.

Oh, there's one

up there.

Was that the book he wanted me to get?

I think it was. How do I

get back to him?

I don't think I'm ready for this just yet.

I don't know how to get back to that Ronin

guy. Where is Professor Fig?

I didn't mean to teleport there.

Can you roam the open world? I think so,

when I finish the tutorial stage.

You can't imagine how inconvenient travel

was before I invented flu powder.

Revelio.

No, this is the wrong place.

I look so stupid in her pajamas. The girl

who everyone at school hates for no

reason. Everyone hates

because Hogwarts is full of bullies. I

wanted to make some new friends. My

gobstone. I'll be your friend.

Oh, rather.

Haven't you any friends at school? Not

really. I'll be

back to playing Snake Pit and Jackstone by

Rebellion. What was that sound?

Aha,

I got all the books.

Nice.

So about Japan, I don't know where to

live.

Cheapest apartments I could find are about

£1,000 to £1,200 a month,

and then the guest house would be like

£400-ish a month,

but then I have to socialize.

A capsule hotel could be like £500 or £600

Firsthand experience as you proceed to

master new bits of magic. The thing I'm

worried about at a capsule hotel is where

do I put my stuff? I don't want to carry

around my laptop and everything in my bag.

Hopefully they'll have a locker. That's

fine, you're in your night clothes. I'll

be on my way. Professor, what?

Also, a lot of capsule hotels kick you out

during the day if it cleaning. I found a

few capsule hotels that look pretty nice.

Also, the noise worries me.

I don't know if I could sleep if I can

hear people moving around. Yeah, I'm going

to Osaka. I already booked the ticket.

Try all the places? I am thinking of that,

'cause then I could have the experience.

I want to try that fancy First Cabin Hotel

again as well. I went there before, I made

a video, but I never stayed there

overnight.

It doesn't make it clear what you're

supposed to do.

What's that

21:17. Tried turning real life into a

video, video game leveling up. How?

Real life is like a really boring video

game where it takes ages to do anything.

Can't kill people.

Not that I would. Killing people

looks difficult and pointless.

Most of these quests just like find random

crap around the school.

Living in an internet cafe. Yeah, I could

try, but how can I turn it into content?

I don't think I'd want to stream it

because people would phone up the place or

something, and they won't let filming—

won't let you film that unless I do it

secretly. So maybe I'll

just book a couple nights, film the

experience, and Post it where though?

Don't think people care about it on the

main channel.

I don't know what people want to see

really from the main channel because I

don't think there's going to be any drama

apart from Leaving my

girlfriend clickbait.

Oh, it's there.

Was that all I had to do? Why did it take

me so long? I completed the assignments,

Professor. Marvelous. You clearly know

your way around basic Yeah, it was so hard

pressing the number 4 button.

Remember, your wand is a conduit of your

magic.

F. I press different buttons.

Reparo.

So now I can fix the statue.

Guides about the game.

What kind of guides can I do? How to strip

your character. People make

all kinds of videos spamming out Hogwarts

Legacy stuff. This one channel, he's

making so many videos, like first 10

minutes in Hogwarts, first 20 minutes as a

dark wizard, high-end Hogwarts Legacy

gameplay, 10 things you need

to know before you play Hogwarts Legacy.

5 things you might not know. You can make

your character naked. Not really.

Oh yeah, they do comment on your— how how

your appearance is. That's cool. I didn't

think they would do that.

Do you like my pajamas?

Okay, so what do I do now?

I don't know if I can go to Hogsmeade yet.

I keep getting lost. Everywhere looks the

same. I'd better keep an eye

on high places around the school for

Zenobia's cobblestones.

I thought I already got this one.

Oh,

hello.

That's what American people think British

people sound like. If I know Hogwarts,

and I do, an empty frame doesn't appear.

Have you gained any insights about the

painting? Mila Fatbottom.

Cracks me up every time. If I have the

time, I may look. Could be intriguing.

I've been racking my— Who saw Ginny Ty get

robbed again in Argentina?

A guy on a motorbike grabbed her phone

when she was streaming,

and people calling her dumb for not

thinking that would happen. The motorbike

guy rode off with the stream still

streaming. It's pretty funny. Imagine he

docks his own house because he didn't know

it was streaming.

Discover the secret.

Level 1 lock.

So many random things to do here.

Oh, I got new pajamas outfit.

This one looks less sexy.

Legendary nightwear. Oh, it does give you

points. This one has 6 defense.

I could sell it for money as well.

Let's see.

Alohomora. I don't have that spell.

I feel like I'm kind of getting into it.

I like how you can find secrets and get

loot. Adding the loot definitely was a

good move. I like loot.

Games feel pointless if you can't loot

What's this?

You can shoot them.

Maybe I can go to Hog— can I? Hello,

looking for me? Yes,

Natty. I hope I haven't kept you waiting

long. Not at all. Professor Weasley tells

me that you need to go to Hogsmeade. You

must be eager to have your own thing.

I've been looking forward to it. Good.

Shall we set off? I intend to give you a

first-rate Hogsmeade experience.

When's the game gonna get good?

Interesting British accent. I think she

must be from the colonies.

1890. What was happening in the world in

1890?

Actually, 1890 was when the Boer War

happened. The Boer War.

Why is it pronounced boar when it's

spelled Boer? I was glad.

The British Empire. Really?

Yes, I had planned to extend. Descendants

of slavery. I thought you might enjoy a

butterbeer in the village. The timing

of Professor Weasley's hour was perfect.

Wow, I didn't realize 1890s England was so

multicultural.

Pretty sure it would have been very racist

back then. There'd be like, no, no blacks

can learn magic.

Do you think multiculturalism is bad? I

kind of feel like it is. Don't you think

that the more multicultural a country is,

the more racism there is?

I don't really feel like multicultural

countries are more Tolerant.

Oh wait, over here. I often spot lacewing

flies in this area. Oh, what's so special?

I feel like there'd be less racism if

everyone was just the same race, because

you couldn't be racist.

The world does look quite nice.

Look, from the Forbidden Forest,

hippogriffs! I wonder if something started

them. I like how much debate there is in

the comment section of my PewDiePie video

about race. That's probably why the video

is doing so well. It's got good natural

engagement. When a video gets good natural

engagement, it already helps it get more

views. There's this stupid algorithm,

it's like, oh wow, people like this video.

To students, as the name implies. Why is

it off limits? The professors claim it is

too dangerous. I think that calling it

forbidden only makes it more alluring.

Ah, there's Hogsmeade over the crest.

Hogsmeade? What?

Oh, is that where the train is on the

I confess I was surprised when Professor

Weasley mentioned that you knew the area

since you're relatively new here. She said

that? Oh, can I get run over? She knows

more about me than I had thought. I will

say, while I certainly learn a great deal

Opening Pokémon cards.

I don't

know, maybe those Pokémon channels

definitely get views.

Pokémon cards are quite cheap, aren't

they? To get

the packs.

The game's so laggy.

Hogwarts has become something of a home

now, I would say. Hopefully it will for

you too. It doesn't feel smooth.

There's no way my laptop can't handle

this. This is a $2,000 pro gaming laptop,

and I have the graphics at medium, not

high.

What's happened to this tree? Look at

that. Why is it all glitched looking?

Weird colored pixels on it.

It looks funny.

Settings too high? It's already on medium.

If I put it too low Where

are the graphics?

Low. Oh my god, it was just

loading. I thought that was the graphics.

There was like no texture.

Uh, oh yeah, it is a bit better now.

Maybe my laptop is old. I did buy

this laptop in 2021, so it's getting on to

its second year of life.

Maybe I need

a new laptop.

Hogsmeade. It is hard to know where to

start. It is hard to know where to start.

And you can get any sweets you can imagine

at Honeydukes. I could not choose a

favorite shop here. It changes with every

visit. I can't tell you that you are

certain to find everything you need in

Hogsmeade.

What's happening over there? Look at that

nice glitch. I'm gonna clip that for my

YouTube video. This game is so glitchy.

To get potion recipes, spellcraft, some

seeds, and a new wand. Of course

you will enjoy, Mr. Oliver. And I am keen

to see what you mean. You enjoy him?

Sounds kind of sexual. How do

you enjoy a person?

Enjoy my

fat bottom. Okay, I can get

a haircut. Oh nice, I might go and get a

haircut actually. So I look stupid with

this hair. I want to change my character's

appearance a bit. So I want to get a hot

boyfriend at Hogwarts. Gotta look nice.

Can I go into every shop? Oh wow.

Why does this look like The Sims? It's

like Sims magic extension

pack. Now I don't want to spend time here.

Okay, get a haircut. Hello,

welcome to Madame Snelling's Tress

Emporium. I'm sure I've no need to

introduce myself. They used to call me

Snelly. Oh, Snelly, why aren't you

studying to be an Auror? But, but look at

you. Why not?

Do I have to pay for this? I guess I do.

I want to get bigger boobs.

I can get an afro. I need

to pay money. Get an afro.

Why are they all afros?

They put all the black hairstyles at the

top, didn't they?

Can I change my hair color? I want brown

hair. Sick and tired of black hair.

Mousy brown.

I can't rotate the character around.

Oh, these hairstyles suck.

Why are they all boys' haircuts?

Wasn't this the one I had before?