I wish I could enjoy reading books

Hey, so I want to talk about this book,

the Star Wars book I bought after I

watched Star Wars Rogue One, the film. I

decided to buy this book because number

one, I wanted to try reading more. I've

always felt jealous of people who enjoy

reading books. I've always felt like I

wish I could enjoy reading books as well.

Maybe I'll start trying to read. To try

and improve my English vocabulary, my

English language skill, because I don't

really feel like I know a lot of words.

And sometimes I find it hard to explain

things or explain what I'm thinking

because the right word doesn't come to

mind. And I feel like that's because I

don't really do enough reading. So I

thought it would be a good idea to try

reading a book that's related to things

that I'm interested in, like Star Wars.

Or Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit. I've

tried reading those books as well, but

after about 20 pages, I can't take it

anymore. I get so unbelievably bored. I

feel like I'm falling asleep while reading

it. I've read about 40 pages of this book

and I just can't read it anymore. It's so

mind-numbingly boring, which is really

weird because I love Star Wars, but when

it comes to the book I can't stand it.

It's so dull and boring. Maybe it's just—

maybe reading just isn't for me. I read it

and they're giving you all these character

names that I can't even remember. I forget

half of the character names after a few

pages. They take so long to describe a

simple scene, just things like opening a

door or entering a room. They describe it

in so much detail, I get bored. You know,

they, they use a whole page just to

describe a character entering a room and

looking around. I don't have time for

that. I just find it kind of frustrating

because I feel like one of the reasons why

my English ability isn't very good, even

though I'm a native English speaker, is

because I don't read enough. I hardly do

any reading. 90% of the reading I do is

news articles on Facebook or reading up

about random wars that happened on

Wikipedia. I guess that counts as reading,

doesn't it? I just wish I could enjoy

reading books without feeling really bored

because it looks like there are a lot of

interesting books out there with

interesting stories, and I just don't have

the patience to read a whole book to find

out that interesting story. I just can't

do it. I can't. I sit myself down.

I try and dedicate, I try and dedicate

half an hour to a book. And after a few

pages, I just, I feel so bored. I can't

turn another page. I can force myself to

read it, but then I can't remember what's

happened because I'm just, I'm reading the

words, but I'm not actually understanding

what is happening. In the books, in the

words that I just read. I just don't have

that concentration power that you kind of

need if you're going to concentrate on

reading a book, and I feel a bit upset

about that. I feel like I'm losing out,

like I'm missing out on something

interesting. Maybe I'm just choosing the

wrong types of books to read. Maybe

reading sci-fi novels or fantasy novels

isn't for me. Maybe I should try a

different kind of book, like a self-help

book or a business-related book or a

psychology-related book. I don't know,

it's just that they're so expensive. I

don't want to spend £10 or £15 on a book

and then just read a few pages and then

never touch it again. It's such a waste of

money. Maybe it's not a bad thing that I'm

not using difficult words because not

everyone who watches my videos is a native

English speaker, and if I start using

really difficult Latin-sounding English

words, then it's going to be harder for

people from other countries to understand

what I'm saying. Sometimes I like to watch

Russell Brand's videos on YouTube, and to

be honest, I don't know what he's saying a

lot of the time. I have to watch his

videos with a dictionary because he says

so many words that I don't even understand

or that I've never heard before. It's kind

of embarrassing, but I've learned a lot of

words. By listening to Russell Brand rant

about random stuff. Even when I watch the

news, a lot of the time I don't understand

the words that they're saying. I have to

sit there with my iPad on Google. What

does this mean? What does that mean? And

I'm looking up word definitions just to

try and decipher what they're talking

about, and it's embarrassing. This is one

of the reasons why I don't feel confident

being an English teacher. When I was in

Japan, I had a few Japanese students who I

was teaching English to, and they would

ask me, what does this word mean? What

does that word mean? And even I didn't

know. I didn't even know what those words

meant, and I'm a native speaker. I felt

really embarrassed about that. Actually,

I don't really like it when people use a

lot of complicated, difficult words when

they talk. I don't like it when people use

a lot of words to explain something like

an idea or when they speak. I don't like

it when people use too many words to

explain something. I remember when I first

started my job and the manager was trying

to explain things to me. All I was

thinking the whole time was, you just

spent 5 minutes explaining something to me

that I could have said in 10 seconds.

It's like some people use 500 words to

explain something and And I feel like I

could have explained the same thing in

just 50 words. I get really bored when

people are explaining things or talking

about things in detail and they're going

on and on and on. Some people,

they just talk too much, even when they're

explaining or talking about simple things.

It's like they're trying to use as many

words as they possibly can so they can

talk and talk and And I'm just standing

there listening to them, wishing that they

would speak faster or try and use less

words. Just because you use more words

doesn't mean you're better at talking or

communicating. I think a person who is

more skilled at communicating is a person

who can express their ideas with as few

words as possible. Sometimes I find it

very difficult to understand what Old men

are saying in English. This customer

came in this morning, this old guy, and he

said something. He was asking for the

cigarettes called Old Holborn or

something, and I didn't understand

what he was saying at first. It just

sounded like, oh, I didn't— I was like,

what? What did you say? Is that even

English? And then I said sorry, and then

he just said the same thing in the same

way. Just because you're saying

it in a loud voice really quickly doesn't

make it easier to understand. You need to

enunciate your words properly, not just

mumble them out of your mouth. I found it

really uncomfortable because I kept saying

what or sorry, and I felt like he was

gonna get irritated soon, but he was okay.

He didn't get angry. When I first started

my job now and I was doing training, the

manager kept saying to me Daniel, you have

to speak up. You have to pick up your

voice when you're speaking to customers,

otherwise they won't be able to hear you.

And then she said to me, um, that she

couldn't hear me because I wasn't talking

loud enough and that she had a hearing

problem and she was kind of deaf. Well,

that's because you're deaf that you can't

hear me. Other people can hear me

perfectly fine. It's not that my voice is

quiet, it's because you're deaf. Okay,

back to the reading. Topic. I have tried

audiobooks before, but I feel like

I can't just sit there listening to it and

doing nothing else. I need to be doing at

least 2 things at the same time. One,

listening to something. 2, doing something

like playing a game or drawing. But if

I start playing a game or start drawing,

I feel like I can't concentrate on what

the audiobook person is talking about,

and I'm listening to him speaking and I'm

understanding what he's saying, but I'm

not really understanding what the story is

about. It's just like the words are going

in and then they're going straight back

out. Maybe I should try reading psychology

books. I feel like I'm very interested in

psychology and mental health issues right

now. I find it interesting

trying to understand why a person behaves

or thinks the way they do.

Maybe, maybe I could take a course in

psychology. Maybe it could be like a

future career path for me. Maybe in the

future I could be a therapist. Why do you

feel so lonely? Why do you feel like no

one loves you? Why do you feel all alone?

Tell me all your secrets. I want to know

everything about you. I want to know how

your mind works. So, um, thanks for

watching. If you liked the video, then

recommend me a book. I mean, um, if you,

um, watched the video, then like me.

I'm going to bed.