How I nearly became a father

Before I start the video, I want to go

over to that bridge, see if I can cross

it. So I'll see you over at the bridge.

I think this is the entrance to,

um, get up to the bridge.

I'm not sure if this is going to be a good

idea to make a video up here because it's

very noisy, or the traffic is

going to be a bit

loud. Wow.

Oh, I was hoping to be on the other side

so I could show you the other side of the

bridge. I guess this side's good enough.

Wow, I can walk straight into the city if

I go straight ahead.

I don't think this is a very good place to

make a video. There's just so much

traffic. There's so much traffic and

noise, my voice is getting worn out

already. I think I'm gonna have to turn

around and go back down to where I usually

make videos. It's so weird, this bridge is

held together by nuts and bolts. I wonder

what happens if I take all the nuts off.

Why don't you try making a video on the

bridge, Daniel? What a great idea,

Daniel. Yeah, I didn't think about the

bloody traffic. Stupid people in their

cars. And back down we go.

Maybe I'll get some apple juice.

Apple juice.

Apple juice.

So today I want to talk about the time I

nearly became a stepfather.

2 years ago, I had this single mother

Japanese girlfriend who I met about

2 years ago in 2017. This happened after

the Taiwanese girl incident. After I gave

up any idea of us, me and the Taiwanese

girl, becoming boyfriend and girlfriend,

I decided to get back onto japancupid.com,

and I started saving up money at my petrol

station job so I could go back to Japan

and find a new girlfriend, and I I quickly

found this 37 or 38-year-old Japanese

woman. We started talking

and she seemed quite nice, and she told me

she had a 9-year-old daughter. Now, at

first I thought, is it really a good idea

to be getting into a relationship with

someone who has children?

Um, at the time I didn't think it was a

problem because It had been a very long

time since I last had a girlfriend.

Between 2014 and 2017,

I had no girlfriends. So the

fact that she had a daughter didn't really

bother me. She could have had 10 children

and I probably still would have went to

meet her. So we started chatting. I asked

her to be my girlfriend after a few weeks

of chatting. It's kind of funny how these

Japanese women just say yes and agree to

being my girlfriend, even though we had

never met before. So I started saving up

money at the petrol station,

and I booked a plane ticket to go and see

her. I took 2 weeks of paid holiday

to go and see her. Before meeting, we

Skyped each other every day for a few

hours, and that was nice.

It reminded me of the days when I first

had a Japanese girlfriend and we used to

Skype each other. The problem was it was

kind of difficult with the time

difference, and because I did

night shifts, we, we started Skype

calling each other in the afternoon

England time and midnight Japan time. So

she had to stay up nearly all night to

talk to me. I thought she wanted to talk

to me. I thought she wanted to Skype me

every day. Well, it turns out she didn't,

and she was very, very tired and

sleep-deprived from all the Skyping. And

she even had a car accident where she

drove into the front— she drove into the

back of the car in front of her. And she

said it's my fault because I didn't

realize that she was so tired. I didn't

know. I thought she was okay with it. I

thought if she was so tired and couldn't

Skype, then she would tell me that she was

too tired, but she wanted me to know

that there was a problem without her

having to say anything. You know, typical

woman expects the man to know everything

without her saying anything. I don't read

minds. If there's a problem, you have to

tell me directly. Wouldn't it— that—

wouldn't that just be a much easier

solution, much more logical, if you just

said, Daniel, I'm too tired to do Skype,

instead of waiting to have a car crash to

tell me? I just, I don't understand women

sometimes. Anyway, we had a bit of an

argument about that, but I just said sorry

because I still really wanted to meet her.

So I finally met her, and when I saw her

in real life, well, I just wasn't very

impressed. She wasn't attractive at all.

I had seen her face in photos and on

Skype, webcam, FaceTimes,

but you know what webcam's like. You can't

really tell what a person actually looks

like just from a webcam. And photos,

well, it can be difficult to tell what a

person looks like just from a photo as

well. She looks not very pretty,

to be honest. She had a very rectangular

head and face, and her scalp was kind

of visible. Anyway, I didn't

let that stop me from taking her back to

my hotel. I had everything booked And I

flew all the way to Japan, so obviously I

was going to get what I came for. So we

went to the hotel, carried out the

business transactions, and she came over

to my hotel every night for the next 2

weeks, which is kind of strange because

she would just leave her 9-year-old

daughter at home all by herself while she

came to see me. Well, it's her daughter

It's not really my problem. And I was

happy because obviously I wanted her to

come and stay with me.

She introduced me to her daughter the very

next day— no, a few days after we met,

because first we met in Tokyo and we did a

bit of sightseeing for the first 2 days.

Then on the second day She drove me back

to Nagano Prefecture, drops me off at the

hotel, and then the next day she

introduced me to her daughter. We went to

a restaurant. It was quite nice actually,

but I thought it was a bit strange that

she would want to introduce me to her

daughter so quickly. I thought she would

wait a bit until we decide if the

relationship is serious or not before

introducing me to her daughter, but nope.

A few days after we met,

I met her daughter and she was, she was a

nice kid. We played, I chased her around,

she chased me, we played, messed around,

played around. That was fine. The only

problem was when she would have these

terrible tantrums. She would just start

crying and screaming. It was really, it

was really uncomfortable and awkward when

that happened. There was one time when we

were going to a restaurant and she fell

asleep in the car. And when we got to the

restaurant, the mother had to wake her up,

and then she just started screaming,

crying for about 10 minutes. It was,

it was a little bit scary actually. I was

scared of her. I thought she would hate

me. I'm this weird strange man coming to

take her mother away. I thought she would

really hate me, but I don't think she did.

The 3 of us went to different places. We

went up a mountain, went to firework

festivals, went to restaurants, carried It

was kind of nice. It was like having my

own family. I looked at her daughter and I

thought to myself— I imagined to myself,

what if that was my daughter? And what

if that was my wife and we were a family?

It felt nice. It was kind of like having a

pet.

I had this weird feeling of belongingness,

as if I was— as if my existence was

important to someone. And I like that

feeling. That's kind of why I liked having

the fish, because the fish rely on me and

I have to look after them. And that sense

of responsibility makes you feel like you

have a purpose in life, which was nice.

But the relationship didn't really work

out because, like I said earlier, I just

didn't really feel attracted to her. My

initial plan was I was going to take 2

weeks off of work and then decide if I

liked this woman and then just ditch my

job without even going back or handing in

notice. I was just going to ditch my job

and stay in Japan, but because I didn't

feel attracted to this woman at all, I

decided to go back to England to carry on

with my job. I know it's strange to say,

but I did actually prioritize my petrol

station job over a woman and cereal,

but I just didn't really see a future with

me and that woman. And it just felt kind

of silly getting into a serious

relationship because then I would have to

look after her daughter and possibly

provide for her daughter. And it seemed

kind of silly to be spending my precious

resources, my limited resources,

on someone else's child, on another man's

child. I didn't really want to be wasting—

what the hell's that?

Interrupting my video.

I don't

know what she's saying. Something about

to. Protect the children from criminals,

blah blah blah, at the river. I don't

know, what was I saying before I got

rudely interrupted?

Um, yeah, I feel like it would be kind of

silly to, to use my precious

limited resources on another man's child.

If it was my own child, then sure, that's

fine. I don't mind spending money and time

energy on my own child.

But if I got into a relationship with that

single mother, I would end up probably

looking after the daughter most of the

time whilst she was at work, and I don't

think I would be happy with that

situation. I'd feel like a bit of a fool

whilst that man is probably off somewhere

laughing with a younger, better-looking

girl. Look at me, the sap that's looking

after his unwanted child.

And why the hell should I be the one who's

doing that? Anyway, this isn't a video

about, um, stepfathering or

having stepchildren. I'm sure plenty of

men are completely happy with looking

after the kids of other men, but I don't

think I would be happy with it. So I don't

really have any regrets. I don't

feel sad that the relationship didn't work

out. I'm actually glad that, that it

ended. I had my fun for 2 weeks. I had a

nice experience. I went to Nagano

Prefecture, which was a part of Japan

that I've never been to before. I usually

come to cities, so it was nice to

experience the Japanese countryside for a

change. And well,

actually, I was going to meet her again,

but I ended up meeting this other woman.

Called Tomoko, who— well,

I think some of you know about the story.

She basically was this Japanese woman who

pretended to be 27, tricked me into coming

to see her, and then when I met her,

turned out she was actually this

40-year-old old woman who looks nothing

like her pictures. Maybe I'll tell that

story again, but I'm getting very, very

cold. The sun's setting. The wind is

blowing, my hand is frozen.

I'm not sure if I'm going to use this

footage because I'm uploading previous

footage. Well, this is just like a backup

in case this one doesn't work out.

It's so cold. Winter's coming. I don't

think I'll be able to do these outdoor

videos. These outdoor videos are going to

be tricky to make. May as well just get a

coat. We'll get a coat. And the wind is

also making it very difficult to film.

Anyway, I'm gonna go home now because

I'm freezing. Hope you enjoyed the story

of how I nearly became a stepfather.