Recreating my home from England - day 5

Hello, it's me again.

Does my hair look okay? Okay,

so we have lots of work to do today.

Do do do do do do do.

Why don't I moisturize my forehead? I

don't know, actually. I've never felt like

my forehead is dry.

It's usually my cheeks that

feel dry.

Had a 2-day break. Yesterday I made a

video which will be going up tonight.

Hopefully people will like it. Day before

was my wife's day off, so we just went

shopping. Wasn't really very interesting.

I filmed the inside of a train, put it

onto my second channel. It got really shit

views. I guess no one really cares about

the inside of a train.

And then we went shopping,

and that

was it really. Oh, we went for sushi,

which was really bad. I don't like sushi.

I I've just realized. I went into this

sushi restaurant, all they had was sushi.

Well, actually they had pork sushi, so I

guess they had some meat. It just looks

weird. They have all this weird-looking

fish that looks gross.

I tried eel, it tastes like the sea. Eel

is horrible. Don't ever try eel. If you

like the taste of the sea, then you'll

love it. It tastes like chicken. That has

been soaked in seawater. It's disgusting.

I thought eel would be nice. I thought,

oh, eel, it's always so expensive, must be

a delicious piece of food. Horrible.

Ugh. It's like crab, but like

chicken as well.

Worst lunch ever.

It's really— I find it really difficult to

get food in Japan because most of it just

doesn't look good. You either have the

sushi places, which are everywhere, and

then there's ramen. But come on, I don't

want ramen. It's just salty water with

noodles. Then you have your, I don't know,

takoyaki and then All this other stuff,

it just doesn't look very appealing. I

just want a burger. I guess I could go to

McDonald's. I just want a

sandwich, a proper sandwich, not a weird

Japanese sandwich.

My favorite place to eat in Japan are

convenience stores. I don't like going to

restaurants. The food just isn't good most

of the time. Even Chinese food in Japan is

kind of weird compared to Chinese food in

England.

The sandwiches are so gross in convenience

stores here. They have weird sandwiches.

They don't look good.

Okay, I have Google Maps open here and

there's a few things I need to fix. For

example,

the woodshed— the woodshed

should be more to the left actually. It

should line up with the kitchen extension

wall. And this garage place

is completely wrong. It needs to be

diagonal. I'm not sure how to make a

building diagonal in Minecraft.

It goes like this: kitchen extension,

shed, and then 45-degree angle,

the garage.

Oh, my wife got me this really good cream

for my, my flaky skin on my hands.

And it's actually quite good,

but I can't— oh, here it is.

I think the new video is quite good. I've

got a funny intro, talk a bit for about 5

minutes, and then I've got about 5 minutes

of cooking fish and chips.

Good old traditional formats.

Don't know why my hand's so dry recently.

I feel like the music's a bit too loud.

I had a pretty rough morning. I don't know

if I want to talk about it. I might start

crying. I don't

really feel like crying.

Well, I was on YouTube on my second

channel, and since I'm subscribed I'm

subscribed to my own channel, it

recommends me my own videos,

and then it recommended me the Christmas

vlogs and I started watching them. It's

made me feel really sad.

Sometimes people ask me, which videos

do you feel the most proud of that you've

made? And I've always found it difficult

to answer that question. I think I know

the answer now. My favorite videos are the

Christmas vlogs and the Malaysia ones,

just the ones where it's me and my family

doing stuff together, having a good time.

I don't really care about all my other

stuff, doesn't really mean anything

to me. I watch the Christmas vlogs and

And it just— oh, it's so hard to watch

that now.

So many memories.

I want to make more stuff like that. It

kind of makes you realize that the most

important memories are the ones when

you're spending it with your family,

people you love. Not buying stuff or

playing video games.

I feel like I want to make more stuff like

that. I wish

my camera was better. The camera quality,

video quality was so bad from the LG G5.

I wish I had a slightly better camera.

Did your sister's boyfriend go to Malaysia

with you? Yes, he was there. His

grandmother died when we were in Malaysia.

I don't think I filmed him in it, so you

wouldn't notice, but he was so— he was

really depressed. He got— he became really

Oh, thank you, Darkness. How's the house

going so far? It's going pretty well, I

think. Looks pretty accurate. There's a

few things I need to change, like this is

way too square, this corner. I should

round it off. I could easily round it off

actually like this. How's the house going

so far?

Thank you. You can slightly

round things off in Minecraft if you just

make the corner go in like that.

Didn't they break up? Yes, they did.

They did indeed break up.

I might have to destroy the garage

completely, but I just don't know if

making it diagonal would be a good idea.

I'm going to redo the shed because it

needs to be more on this side. When I look

at the map, the wall of the shed lines up

with the wall of this kitchen extension,

so this has to completely go.

Not up to my standards.

Just copy these blocks first.

There's something kind of weird when I

watch my videos of my old house.

Something magical about it, like the way

the sky looks, the smell of the air,

the grass, the trees. Something very

odd, the way I feel when I watch back—

watch, watch the videos of house back.

I don't know how to describe it.

It's weird because I felt so frustrated

living there. I felt like I wanted to

leave as quickly

as possible. I was so desperate to move to

I felt like I was trapped there.

Couldn't make enough money to get away

fast enough.

I felt like the place I want— the place I

least wanted to be was at that house, and

now I miss it so much.

Am I homesick? I think I am. I always get

homesick after a few months. It's been a

few months now.

I'm thinking about going back to England

for Christmas. I don't know.

My sister and my mum have planned to go

somewhere. Me and my wife could go as

well, join them. I don't see why not.

Idiot down below is banging again.

They're going to some kind of forest.

They said they don't want to be at home

for Christmas because it's too sad.

It depends if my wife can take some

time off work. She already took a lot of

time off though when we were in England.

So I don't know if she has any more days

off.

Oh, thank you, Kerry B. Buy a sandwich.

I've got some chicken and egg on rice.

Just got paid, buy a sandwich on me, lol.

Thanks. They're going to— I don't know if

it's the, the forest from Robin Hood

or something. Nottingham Forest. I don't

know, can't remember.

I feel like I should make more effort To

spend time with them. I haven't really

been talking to them much. There's nothing

really to say. I don't know what to talk

Do I even care about money?

Well, yeah,

I do.

It's been quite nice recently because—

don't know if you've noticed, but my subs

are going up quite a lot and I'm getting a

lot of views on my older stuff, so I felt

like I could take a little break.

That's why I haven't really been posting

much. I haven't posted since 4 days ago.

My last video was 4 days ago.

I'd rather spend a bit more time on each

video instead of posting so much,

but I kind of have to post at least every

2 days. Otherwise, my income just drops

too much. But if I get a nice little boost

like I'm getting now, then I can take a

bit of a break.

And that's what I've been doing.

I love seeing how confused people get when

they first find the channel. They say

stuff like, what the hell is this channel?

Is it all a joke? Is he trolling?

And then they realize it's not trolling,

it's actually real, and then they leave,

never come back.

Kind of hurt my feelings when they say

stuff like that.

Now, if you're going to leave and you're

not gonna watch, then why do they have to

announce it? Just don't watch then. Why do

they have to make a comment saying how

much they're not going to watch because

they don't like it? As if anyone cares

about what they think.

I hate it

when people unsubscribe and they go, oh,

I'm unsubscribing now, this is boring.

Just keep it to yourself. I don't want to

hear that. It doesn't help me in

any way. It just makes me feel a bit sad

and irritated.

I might add the word unsubscribe to my

blacklist. I don't really want to know if

people are unsubscribing.

It's up to you.

I suppose it is kind of helpful if they

leave a good reason, and then you could,

you could try and fix things so

more people don't unsubscribe. It's kind

of like feedback, but usually it's not

very helpful feedback. It's just like,

oh, this is boring now, I'm unsubscribing.

I would like to go back to England for

Christmas, actually, to join my mum

and sister.

I feel like time is running out. When

you're young, you feel like, oh, your

family is so annoying, you're stuck

with them forever. And then you get older

and they start dying, and then

you start to realize we don't have

unlimited time. Time is running out.

We should cherish the time we have.

To make memories together and stuff.

The road is wrong. Which one?

The driveway? I feel like the driveway is

completely out of shape. It should be more

of a— it's like a horseshoe.

This looks like— I don't know,

it's like an out-of-shape horseshoe.

Moo Cake? He made that ages ago.

It wasn't very interesting. He was just

saying the same things I've heard so many

times before.

My favorite one is Joinen's one. I think

he really hit the nail on the head,

especially with the whole drama thing,

running out of drama problem.

I wonder why he quit YouTube. He went

viral, got 200k subs, and then he just

stopped making videos. Last one he made

was ages ago. If I had 200k

subs, I would stop everything I was doing

and focus on YouTube. What could he be

doing that's so important?

Studying, getting a real job, that's

boring. Become a YouTuber. If you have

200k subs, why would you not want to

become a YouTuber? I only have 90k. I quit

my job at the petrol station when I got 5k

subs. If I had 200k subs, I'd drop

I guess some people just don't really want

to become a YouTuber that much.

Can you make buildings diagonally on

Minecraft? I don't want to destroy the

garage and then try and make it diagonally

and then it looks rubbish. I'll do like a

test build over here, see if I can make it

diagonal. It'll just look really awkward.

It'll be like this.

That's the annoying thing about Minecraft.

They should add like a half,

half block where it's split in the middle

so you can make diagonal walls that don't

look like this.

Do you know what I mean? Split this

block in half like this, halfway, so it's

like a triangle, and then you could put

the triangle in between these gaps, and

then it would look like a smooth straight

wall even though it's diagonal. I don't

think I can do it. Look, it just looks so

stupid making it diagonal.

Hmm,

what would

I do if Kanae dated my sister?

Nothing. I'd be surprised. What could I

It's not up to me who she dates.

Look how bad it looks when I make it

diagonal. Look, so silly.

It would have to be— how does it

look? It's like this.

Hmm, how should I do it then? If I keep it

straight, then it should be fine as it is.

If I made it like this— no, that's not

gonna work.

Something really weird happened with the

fish. So the fish tank, the water in the

fish tank looked fine a few days ago in

the morning. It was all clear,

everything's fine. And then I checked back

on it a few hours later in the afternoon,

and it looked disgusting. The water was

all murky, there were these bits floating

around, there was all this green stuff.

And then a few hours later in the evening,

it was all clear again, as if the fish ate

all of the stuff floating around, and they

started pooping and and it was green. Did

they eat all the stuff that was floating

about? And now the water is

completely clear again. It looks great.

Thinking about buying a bigger tank and

getting some stuff to put in it, like a

tunnel, ruined building.

Does the fish tank smell? Sometimes it

does smell, but most of the time it

doesn't. It smells fishy. I would

like to get a bigger tank. We should have

gotten the bigger one. There were 3 sizes:

S, M, and L, and the pet shop man

recommended we get M size. For the fish

we got. So all the people complaining that

the fish tank was too small, the fish shop

man recommended the medium-sized one.

If it was too small, he would have told us

to get the bigger one. Isn't the fish

pretty boring? I guess so.

They're kind of cute, I guess. They swim

when you stand in front of them. They

start swimming around frantically.

Oh, thank you, Alo Nev. Hello to you too.

We can't get any other pets because my

wife won't let me. She says we're not

allowed pets if someone finds out. We'll

get into trouble. It will scratch the

walls. If we go on holiday, we need to get

someone to look after it. But what about

the fish? Who's gonna look after the fish

if we go on holiday? She said we can get

an automatic food dispenser. I want to go

to England for Christmas. How are we

supposed to look after the fish?

Maybe I shouldn't have said Maybe I

shouldn't have suggested getting fish,

actually.

Do you think the fish would be okay? We

could get an automatic dispenser,

but then what about cleaning the tank? We

won't be gone that long, maybe 2 weeks.

That's the annoying thing about pets. It

makes it difficult to go traveling.

We could go snowboarding as well. My wife

likes snowboarding. I've never tried it.

Could be funny for a video. Take the

GoPro. Try snowboarding. I went skiing

before. It's pretty easy.

I didn't even fall over once. My mum

fell over.

It just seems snowboarding seems more

difficult because your feet are connected

to the same plank of wood.

I'm not sure what to work on next. I need

to do Maybe the driveway.

I wonder what my mum's done to the house.

I bet she's cut down a load of trees.

Maybe she built something, paid someone to

build something. She said she wanted to

cut down the nut tree— nut trees in

the garden. I don't like the way she's

just cutting stuff down. I don't

think it's what my dad would have wanted,

messing up his garden.

I think it's my wife's day off tomorrow.

What day is it tomorrow? I keep forgetting

which day it is. I have no concept of

time recently. No,

it's her day off 2 days ago.

I'm

hungry. Might have a banana.

Banana for breakfast.

I want

to get that action camera. What's it

called? DJI Osmo Action. It's like the

GoPro, but it has a screen on the front.

Looks quite good.

Or that Sony one. There's a Sony GoPro

ripoff where they have a flip screen.

It's a tiny little flip screen. It's kind

of funny. That's the only thing I don't

like about the GoPro. You can't see

yourself when you're filming yourself,

but I don't really want to spend so much

money on another camera.

I don't really want to buy things anymore.

I've already got plenty of things.

I can't believe this year is nearly over.

Already August, September,

September next week, and then only

a few more months and then the year has

finished. The years go by

so fast.

And then before you know it, you're old,

about to die.

I feel like I've accomplished all of my

goals in life. Now I don't know what to

Create a new goal. Like what?

I'm not sure what I want to do anymore.

You still need to sleep with a young hot

girl. Well, I kind of already did,

but I paid for it. Does, does that count

if I pay for it? It was okay, I guess.

I wouldn't say the younger the girl, the

better it is. Definitely not.

Some of my best ones were actually older

women.

I want to create more fun memories like

the Christmas vlogs and the Malaysia

trip, but when I'm in the moment, I just

complain all the time. I don't really feel

like I'm enjoying myself, but then after

it's over and I look back at it on my

channel, when I remember it, I feel like,

yeah, that was a good time.

But during when it was happening, I hated

it. I hated being in Malaysia.

Don't like Malaysia. It's too hot,

sticky, smells funny,

food is weird.

Maybe it's kind of like nostalgia.

I want to do new things and then fly it.

Hopefully the camping trip will be good.

Just need to try and stay a bit more

positive. Don't be so negative when it's,

when it's happening.

How old was this chick you paid?

Well, she said she was 22.

She could have been lying, I don't know.

Am I doing a video with Venus? Probably

not, unless she comes here and my wife

gives me permission. Permission. Even if

my wife gave me permission, I probably

wouldn't go all the way to Tokyo. It's

just too, too far, too expensive.

How old does she look? It's hard to tell

because they wear so much makeup. I don't

like it when they wear makeup.

Is it, is it just me, or does anyone else

prefer having sex with a girl when

she's not wearing makeup. I don't really

like makeup, to be honest. I think my wife

looks way better in the evening and

in the morning in bed when she's not

wearing makeup compared to when she is

wearing makeup. I don't know why, but I

think makeup makes you look worse a little

bit if you've— if you're wearing too much

of it. Then it doesn't look

good. If it's a bit, then it's okay,

but I prefer my wife's face when— after

she's taken it off and then she's washed

her face and she's put her creams on.

Why am I so hungry? It's only half past

11. Usually don't— oh,

because I did push-ups. That's weird. If I

do exercise, it makes me feel hungry. I

did 20 push-ups this morning. Usually I

only do them in the evening.

Do you think that's why?

Are my muscles getting bigger?

Oh, why do I

feel so dead inside today? I don't know

why. Where's my energy,

guys? Give me energy. I have

no energy.

Can we get live cooking? I prefer doing

the cooking offline as a video because

when I do it live, then I start rambling

about things instead of explaining how

to cook. For example, my broccoli soup

one, I was just whinging the whole time

about views and stuff instead of telling

you what I was doing. So I couldn't use it

for Cooking with Daniel because it was

just me whinging the whole time. I start

whinging when I stream, it's not good.

But when I make a video, I plan what I'm

going to say very carefully.

So I think Cooking with Daniel is better

if I just film it as a regular video

instead of streaming it.

I don't like whinging so much.

It kind of just makes me feel worse, and

then it irritates everyone else.

It's hard to control.

Myself. I guess I feel quite content

recently. I'm appreciating my wife's

existence more.

I'm glad I have my wife. People think

I really hate her or something. No, I

don't hate her. It's just the video title

to get clicks.

But I like having my wife. It's nice.

I do appreciate her. I just make videos

whinging about her because it gets views

all the time. If it didn't get views, I

wouldn't make it. I made a Why I Love My

Wife. Video today. We'll see if that gets

views. If it doesn't get views, then I'll

start boasting about how I was right that

positivity doesn't get views and negative

videos get more views. Then next time

people say, oh, your video is so negative,

then I can say, well, look at my Why I

Love My Wife compared to my Why I Hate My

Wife video. Don't blame me.

I don't decide what people want to see. I

just have to kind of figure out what

people want to see and then give it to

There would be a big problem if I had a

cat. You know, cats hate vacuum cleaners.

When I used to vacuum at home in England,

my cats would would just run away because

they'd be scared. If I had a cat here,

how would I vacuum? I would have to shut

it out into the hallway because it'll be

scared trying to run away. But this place

is so small, where's it going to run to?

The vacuum cleaner would scare it to

When's the last time I heard from George?

Well, I ghosted George because I was

getting irritated. So he's not

gonna— I probably annoyed him now.

He's not gonna message me again. We were

supposed to make a book together. It was

going to be called Japanese from Hell,

and then he was going to write the book

and everything, and I was going to do the

illustrations. And it was going to be like

a really sexual book teaching you sexual

phrases in Japanese. And I did most of the

drawings. He gave me a list of of things I

should draw, and I did about 15 drawings,

and I was just waiting for him to check

the drawings and to move on to the next

stage, but he kept saying we need to have

a phone call meeting. So I said, okay,

let me know when. I waited like a year,

and then he was still saying the same

thing, we need to have a phone call

meeting. He never set a date. I just got

frustrated. I blocked him.

I guess that was kind of cruel

of me. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.

I felt kind of stressed out having to do

drawings for him because he would say

stuff like, wow, Daniel, your art's

amazing, but then he would have my art

checked by his business partner Justin or

something, and that bloody Justin would

always moan saying, oh, his drawings

aren't great, this looks funny, he should

change this. I got irritated with all the

criticism. I don't like being criticized

for my artwork or for anything really.

He asked me to draw a a

picture of George, and I did. I thought it

was okay, and then everyone else was

saying it wasn't very good, so I thought,

fuck this, I'm not drawing if people are

just gonna moan about it. That's why I

don't draw for people. It's just really,

really annoying when you think you've done

it, done a good job, and then you get

these people who probably don't even know

how to Telling

you it's wrong. Yeah,

well, do it yourself then, idiot.

To be honest, he was right though. The

legs did look funny. The hand was too

small or too big.

I'm not a genius at drawing.

My, my drawings aren't perfect. I do make

mistakes. I get proportions wrong a lot of

the time. Yeah, well, it hurts my

feelings, so shut up.

I hate having to draw for people.

Can we see the drawings? I'd get banned

straight away. I might link them on

Discord. I haven't really shown anyone.

George told me not to show anyone because

it's for the book, but since that idea is

not actually going to happen— unless he

just took my drawings and used them anyway

without paying me. I don't think he would

do that. I had to sign this big contract

as well. He was very— he did everything

properly when it came to business.

Maybe he can sue me. I didn't even read

the contract, I just signed it.

I feel a little bit bad because I like

George. He was a nice guy. He was very

supportive. I was working at the petrol

station. He was trying to encourage me.

He was saying stuff like, yeah, you should

definitely quit the petrol station,

follow your dreams. You've got

potential. You could do YouTube and

drawing, translating. After I met George,

I came home Feeling like my mind was

blown. I've never been encouraged so much

before. My dad always just say, oh, you

should get a job. Don't follow your

dreams. Go and work in the petrol station.

My dad's a very realistic, logical person,

but George was like the complete opposite.

You know, typical business-minded.

Optimistic American kind of guy,

and I've just never really been exposed to

people like that in my life. I don't feel

like English people are like that.

English people are like my dad— very

reasonable, very logical, don't take

risks, do everything the safe way.

I guess I prefer the American way, you

know, follow your dreams, build a

business. I like that way

of living. I think it's romantic.

I felt kind of annoyed that my dad

encouraged me to go and work in a petrol

station, and then George was encouraging

me to follow my dreams. I felt like my dad

should have been encouraging me to follow

my dreams.

He just wants me to get a job, anything.

I think Unreasonable was not the correct

word. I mean, what's the word?

Not reasonable. Logical.

Not logical. I don't know how to speak

English. Fucking words.

What's the word when you don't take risks

and you don't have your head up in the

clouds dreaming. You're very— I don't know

the word— realistic?

Realistic sounds strange.

Help me.

Why can't I place doors here?

You can't place doors on top of slabs.

Why?

I don't know if you've seen my video about

Gimme a Break, Man. I think I took it

down. My dad saw it and he said he was a

bit upset that I said

things like I wish my dad

was more like GimmeABreakMan and said

things to me bluntly.

He saw that. I didn't think he would see

it. It was such a random video for him to

see. He said he didn't watch my videos

anymore, so how come he saw that? I said

don't take it seriously, I was just saying

rubbish for the video, when actually I

did kind of feel that way because I feel

like my dad never really sat me down and

gave me the talk, you know, like the

harsh truth kind of talk like Coach

Red Pill would, or Gimme a Break Man

might.

The word is rational. Yeah, I think

rational is the correct word.

The petrol station

job was the reason why you had enough

money to live your dream life now.

No, YouTube is the reason why I have

enough money to live my dream life now. I

spent all the money I made at the petrol

station. Well,

it's not really thanks to YouTube, I guess

it's thanks to you guys. If people didn't

watch my videos, then it doesn't matter if

it's on YouTube or not.

I owe everything to thousands of strangers

on the internet who mostly hate me.

I don't know how to feel about that.

The petrol station gave me enough money to

go and meet the single mother and Tomoko.

My entire livelihood is dependent on

thousands of strangers on the internet.

Well, it beats working in a petrol

station, that's for sure.

Many of them love to hate you. Yeah,

that is quite funny. It's like I've made

this character who's really hateable.

People love to hate him. And then I make

videos where bad things happen to the

hated character, and then the audience

enjoy it because, you know, it's kind of

like seeing King Joffrey getting slapped

in the face. Everyone cheers because

everyone hated him.

Oh, this music's giving me weird feelings.

So I can see my dad's face floating in the

clouds again, hovering over us.

Oh, it gives you such a weird feeling.

People kept telling me I should invest my

inheritance money, but I don't know how

to. There's different types of stocks,

and then there's, there's stocks where you

just pay a little bit and you get like 1%,

but then who cares about 1%? Then there's

more risky stocks, but then there's more

potential to make a lot of money, but then

you could lose all the money as well.

It's just like gambling. I don't want to

gamble my inheritance money. And then I

could put it into a savings account, but

then it's only 5% interest. After a year,

I would get maybe, I don't know, a couple

hundred pounds in interest. Who cares? A

couple hundred pounds

in a few years, I would get a couple

thousand thousand in interest. It's not

really much, is it? It's not gonna make a

difference. How's a couple thousand pounds

gonna make a big difference in my life?

If I've only got a couple thousand pounds

left in my bank, then I've got very

big problems that

having an extra couple thousand won't

I don't want to get involved with stocks.

I have no idea how to do it. It's too

risky, and then the

low-risk stuff isn't worth it.

Might as well go to a casino, put all of

it on red. I've got 50% chance.

Play roulette, 50% chance all black.

Might lose 10K, might win 10K. Can you

imagine losing 10K? That would be bad.

I'd be so angry.

The most I put was £20. I put £20 and

I bet everything on red,

and it came out red, and I won £20, and I

felt great. And I went back the next day,

and then I lost £10, and I lost another

£10, and then it was all a waste of time.

You know what they do in Japan? People,

they'll buy a little plots of land and

then build a car park on it. Because

there's so little space in Japan, it's

kind of hard to find places to park your

car. So it's a good business plan. You

just buy a little plot of land and then

build some car parks on it,

coin-operated. People will come and park

the car and you get money. You don't even

have to do anything. They put money into

the coin machine. My dream would be I

would have a couple vending machines,

maybe a coin laundry, maybe a car park as

well. I don't have to do anything, just

set it up, then people go in, use the

service, buy drinks, and then I just go

and collect the coins. That'd be the best

job ever.

How hard is it to maintain a car park?

It's just a square piece of concrete that

has some car park things on it, those

little yellow bars that separate each

space.

Don't have to maintain it,

you don't have to stock it up or anything.

How do I get one of those? Well, first I'd

need At least permanent residency. I won't

be able to set this stuff up as a tourist.

And then I can just sit back, play

Minecraft, let the shekels roll in.

That's my dream.

I'd actually prefer doing that instead of

YouTube. Then I don't have to make videos,

I have to put up with thousands of people

hating me. Just go down to my coin

laundry, collect the coins.

Do you think it's a good idea?

Okay, so on the edge of this garden

there's like a slightly elevated bit of

concrete. I'm not sure which color to

use. I might just use nether stone. It's

not actually nether stone. My dad never

got around to improving it, so it's just

the old concrete that my granddad used.

So much my dad didn't get to finish.

I don't think he would have been able to.

He was already 60 And he was— he looked

like he was out of energy all the time,

didn't he? Even before he was ill, like

the way he walked, the way he stood, he

just looked tired all the time. Maybe he

overworked himself, that's why. Maybe he

should have relaxed a little bit more. He

was like constantly working. If it wasn't

his work, his job, then he'd be working

outside in the garden. He should have

slowed down a little bit.

My visa? I don't have a visa. I'm still

here as a tourist. My wife hasn't said

anything about it. She's probably unsure

how serious I am about the marriage.

She doesn't want to waste her time getting

me a visa again if I'm just going to sleep

around again or leave her.

You know, I could just stay here

illegally. They wouldn't even notice. I

never leave anyway. I earn money from

YouTube, so I don't have to get a job.

The only reason you need a visa is so you

can get a job or so you can go to the

hospital. I guess if you're going to get

your own apartment or hotel, then you need

to show official documents. I didn't do

any of those things. I could just stay

here, but then I'd be trapped in Japan.

If I tried to leave, they'd catch me.

I used to think about it seriously when I

was about 22, when I was completely

depressed. I thought, I'm just gonna go to

Japan and stay there. I'll sell sharpening

stones on eBay.

I was actually thinking about just staying

illegally. It would have been crazy. I

thought, I I wonder if I could actually

just stay here and be homeless and then

sell things on eBay. I could get the item

delivered to convenience stores, pick them

up, wrap them up, post them at the post

office, get my money from eBay, use ATMs

to get cash,

live on the street. Get a little box.

I thought that was a good idea when I was

about 22. I thought that

was way better than going back home to

Japanese cops always ask me for my

passport. But what do you look like? Are

you white? I'd never get asked because I

look Japanese. I've never been stopped by

police, but I remember there was this

Canadian guy, this white guy. He told me

he kept getting stopped by police asking

to see his passport. I said, really? I've

never been checked.

And there's so many skinny guys in Japan

as well. That's why I like being in Japan.

I don't feel like I

stick out.

I feel like people kind of look like me

and I blend in. I like blending in. I

don't want to be the only Asian-looking

guy in

the entire area. I don't know, it just

makes me feel a bit sad. I don't look like

everyone else in England.

I got searched at the airport. She took

out all my condoms as well. She didn't say

anything. She took out everything, then I

had to put everything back in. So

annoying. She was kind of cute though.

Her arm touched my arm. It was so smooth,

and she was making small talk with me. It

was weird. I felt like I was being chatted

up. I think she has to for her job. I

don't know. She was asking me things like,

how many times have you been to Japan?

What are you going to do? What are your

I couldn't actually tell her. I couldn't

say, well, I'm going to meet

up with my wife who I nearly divorced and

possibly get back together with her whilst

making YouTube videos.

I just said, I'm just gonna go traveling.

Why do they ask? Why do you think I'm

here? I'm here to travel. That's what most

foreigners are here for. I'm here to sleep

with a bunch of hookers and then use

Tinder Sleep with fat girls and

then make content.

Seeing someone obese is a rarity in Japan.

That's what I think, but then how come all

of the girls I met on Tinder are so bloody

fat? 9 out of 10 of them are huge. I don't

know how many fat girls I slept with,

probably nearly 10, like massive fatties.

You think, oh, Japanese girls, all slim.

They're not. I wish they were. For some

reason, I get all the fatso's.

That's one of the best things about my

wife. She's not fat. She's actually the

first woman I've been with who has legs

that aren't bigger than my torso. It's

great. I can pick her up, drag her around.

I'm just repeating what I said in my new

video now. That's what I say in the new

video. I go on and on about fat girls and

how my wife is slim. Do you think I'll get

hate for that? People say I don't think

people could criticize me because I

already said that I'm skinny, so everyone

is kind of fat to me. I actually

only make 2 points about why I love my

wife in the video. She's not fat and she

cleans and she's kind of stable. She's a

very stable, well-rounded person, not

crazy or anything.

I just can't match the cute girls on

Tinder. You know, I even tried this

picture of a white guy, pretty

good-looking white guy wearing a suit,

and even then I just get matched with

these fat girls and these old women.

Hardly any cuties.

You know what I want to do next? I want to

try pretending to be a Japanese guy, like

a serious Japanese guy who works in a

company. Because I have a feeling that the

cute young Japanese girls, they aren't

interested in foreigners.

I think the cute young Japanese girls in

general would be interested in the cute

young Japanese guys. Because think about

it, why would you go for a foreigner if

you're young and attractive? If you could

just get a young and attractive Japanese

guy who has a good job, why would you

resort to having to date a foreigner

unless you have some kind of fetish for

foreigners? I feel like most women in

Japan, they'll date a foreigner because

they can't get a decent Japanese guy and

their last resort is getting some white

guy or foreigner.

What do you think? About my theory.

I don't think it's normal for someone to

specifically want to date foreigners,

so why would they just look for foreigners

unless there's a problem with them, like

they can't get anything else?

I'm not talking about my wife. I mean,

you know, Japanese women in general.

I wonder if you told them you were

Japanese, would they believe you? That's

what I'm interested in. I should just pick

some random Japanese guy next time instead

of a white guy.

Um, oh, I was looking for concrete. I'm

just flying round and round circles, not

really doing anything.

It's just so difficult trying to get a

cute young girl who's not weird because

they have higher standards. They know that

they are attractive and young. They know

they have high value, so they're only

going to be interested in high-value men.

And let's face it, I'm not a high-value

I don't really have anything going for me.

I'm not amazing to look at, I don't have

good social skills, don't even have a

proper job. But why would a high-value

girl have any interest in me? So that's

why I kind of gave up. The only

way would be to lie.

I can't, I can't fake having social

skills. The only thing I can fake is

having a good job and just say, oh, I'm an

English teacher, or, oh, I run an online

business dealing with Japanese clients.

Still doesn't really help. The job, they

don't give a shit about your job. They

just, they're more impressed with how you

make them feel. And if you're really

nervous and awkward, you're going to make

them feel nervous and awkward, and they

won't like you.

Now, I could pretend to be the CEO of a

multi-million company, they still won't

be attracted to me because I have no

confidence. They're not attracted to the

job, they're attracted to the confidence

that men would have from having a good

job. I suppose

if you can fake the confidence, it might

It's a very— I don't know, in some ways

it's a very simple game, but then it's

also kind of complicated. Lots of

different factors. As money, confidence,

looks, style, personality.

So many different things that go into

attracting a mate.

At least the animal kingdom is kind of

simple. You just have to beat up the other

I get really irritated when people keep

saying I should get tested. Why? It's not

gonna change anything. They'll say, oh,

you should get tested. So if I get tested,

am I gonna feel happy and all my problems

will be solved? No, I'll just have some

document that says I am something. Wow,

what a big help. It's like, imagine you're

fat and you get tested for being fat. Now

you're officially fat. Wow,

so life-changing.

I hate that stupid sentence, you should

get tested. You should get fucked. That's

what you should get. Telling me to

get tested? How about I test your

anus with my finger?

People think, oh, getting therapy and

getting medicine, oh, that just fixes

everything. It's not that simple. I don't

want to be dependent on drugs.

I don't want drugs.

There's nothing anyone could say to me

that would really fix me. The only thing

that could improve me would be if I had

some kind of experience that opened my

mind. Kind of like George, I guess. After

I met George, I felt like my mind was

blown. I felt like, yeah, he's right.

I should quit the petrol station, follow

my dreams. I felt inspired.

Maybe I need like a motivational speaker

kind of friend who really inspires

me. I don't really feel like anyone

inspires me right now. People just bring

me down.

I need a good friend like George. Someone

who's, you know, full of optimism. He's

like, yeah, Daniel, you can do it,

man. Yeah, Daniel.

I want to feel inspired to make good

content again, you know,

good editing, funny jokes, good points.

Good edits, interesting theme.

I haven't been able to create something

like that for ages.

Everyone on my channel is so negative.

They're always like, oh, channel's gonna

die, you should get a job, YouTube won't

last forever. Everyone's trying to bring

me down. I don't need that. I don't want

that.

I guess it's my fault. I, I made—

I, um, I'm surrounded by negative people

because I just keep putting out

negativity.

All that believe in yourself stuff is so

cheesy, but it's kind of true. If you

believe in yourself, then You could do a

lot of things.

Just sounds so cheesy.

I just subscribed to your channel, so be

happy. Thank you. Yeah, I need to, um,

try not to scare away all the new

subscribers. I'm getting a lot of new

subscribers. What should I do? They all

came here because of the meme. Should I do

something memey, like buy a new sex doll?

I just don't really feel memey right now.

I just feel kind of down, depressed.

I could get a new sex doll.

I don't really want to spend that money

though. I don't want to clean it either.

I've made 3 videos on sex dolls now. I

don't think— I don't know, actually, it

might do if I get a full-size one.

I want to get at least a 120 centimeter

tall one. You can get 100 centimeter ones,

they look like children. I could fuck it

all day long instead of playing Minecraft.

I could get a chair for it and we could

sit together playing Minecraft. I'll call

her Victoria.

People subscribe because of the real you.

Well, I think the people who found my

channel from the sex doll meme I don't

know why they subscribed. Maybe they found

it funny, but then not all my videos are

like that. Some of them are, but then some

of the others kind of like drama. Then

there's depressing stuff. It's a bit of a

mixed bag on the Daniel Show.

PewDiePie watched your sex doll video.

Yeah, that's funny. Funny, I saw his Tfue

video. On his recommended videos, it had

mine. He must have forgot to blur it out

or something.

I got a few new subscribers from people

saying, hey, I saw you on PewDiePie's

video. That was kind of strange.

Might be meeting T-Kuro Sam next month.

It's funny that we've met a lot of the

same people. I met David Bond, Sam met

David Bond. I met Ice Poseidon, Sam also

met Ice Poseidon. I feel like Sam's

met everyone.

Sam meets a lot of people, doesn't he?

I hope he doesn't stink.

Fat people don't usually stink unless

they— well, there was this one fat guy who