i accomplished nothing today

I'm bored.

I had to calm down a bit from my

other stream. I was getting a bit

agitated, but I feel better now.

I took some deep breaths and

I'm relaxed.

I love Irish people.

They're my favorite.

Might just stream until my mum gets back.

I'm not sure why she's not back yet. I'm

pretty hungry. I want to have dinner soon.

I'm gonna have spaghetti. My mum made it

yesterday.

Spaghetti bolognese.

Today was a very productive day, wasn't

it, Daniel? We got a lot of things done.

Tomorrow I

will be unboxing my sex doll if you would

like to come and watch. How should I do

it? I think I could unbox it on a stream

as long as I don't actually show it.

If I block the view with my back

and then unbox it on my bed, then I could

take it out. Or if I, if I wrapped it up

in a towel, then I could show you how big

it is at least. But I'm pretty sure if I

showed you the rubber lips, then I might

get a strike. I got a strike last time for

showing hentai, and that's not even

physically real. It was just a drawing of

a vagina. That got me a strike, so I think

a rubberized version of it would

definitely get me a strike.

And— oh, some guy is coming as well to buy

my Switch. Hopefully he doesn't rob me. I

kind of want my mum to be here when he

comes, just so I don't get robbed. And I

also hope that she's not here so I can get

my sex doll without her noticing. Oh,

thank you, Cesium. Someone doxxed me.

Someone doxxed you on hidinginmyroom.com,

Rainbow. Hidinginmyroom.com?

I didn't know there was such website— such

a website in existence.

I accidentally wrote hiding in my tomb.

There's no hiding in my room. It's Rick

Astley. You trolled me.

What? Why does hidinginmyroom.com go to

Rick Astley, Never Gonna Give You Up? How

did you do that?

Oh, why does it go to the Rickroll?

That's such an old meme. Rick Astley,

Never Gonna Give You Up.

I don't understand, how did you make

hidinginmyroom.com go to Rickroll?

I thought someone actually made a website

for me.

Great, now someone's gonna make a website

for me smearing my name.

If you just type my name in, it just says

Daniel Lord exposed for being a pedo.

I'll never be able to get a normal job

ever again. Aren't they stupid though?

They keep saying that they want me to get

a job and become a better person and

improve as a person, but at the same time

they're also smearing my name, which would

make it harder for me to get a job. Don't

they see that what they're doing is

counterproductive? If they're really being

honest and their true goal is to really

get me to get a job and to improve as a

person, then why are they doing things

that would make that objective difficult?

Don't you think it's gonna be hard for me

to get a job if you keep trying to tell

everyone that I'm a pedo and I'm a sex

offender or whatever? So it's kind of

obvious that the goal isn't for me to get

a job and become a better person. It's

just to bring me down. They don't want to

see me become a better person. They want

to see me lose everything that I hold,

that I think is important. To myself.

You can't be a pedo just because you say

Japanese high school girls hardens your—

softens your heart, hardens your dick.

Saying that doesn't make you a pedo.

And if you're a pedo, it means that you're

into girls under the age of 13. Before,

before they've matured and hit puberty.

High school girls are not under the age of

13 and they have hit puberty, so you can't

be a pedo even if you did sleep with a

16-year-old.

So again, flawed logic, not using

the proper terms correctly, and then they

contradict themselves by saying they want

me to get a job and become a better

person, but at the same time they're doing

everything in their power to make it even

more difficult for me to get a job

and become a better person. So either

they're lying and the actual goal is not

to hopefully push me into doing something

that'll make me a better person, but the

actual goal is just to bring me down and

do anything that damages me just because

they hate me. It's not about wanting me to

become a better person, it's just pure

hatred and jealousy Any

counterarguments to those points?

I think they're pretty good points.

If the intentions are just to bring me

down because they hate me, then at least

admit it. Stop pretending that they want

the best for me and they want me to turn

my life around. They want me to get a job.

They're just saying that to make them

themselves look good, as if they're on

some kind of crusade for a good reason, a

good purpose, to force me into becoming a

better person because they care so much

about me. Come on. At least admit it,

that you want me to suffer and you want

bad things to happen to me. You're not

interested in me becoming a better person.

It's just obvious. If you're

gonna smear someone's name, at least have

the balls to own up to why you're doing

it. But they won't.

They just hide behind that excuse of

wanting me to get a job and become a

It just seems contradictory.

Their actions and their words don't match

I don't know why they're so against just

admitting why they're doing what they're

doing. What do they have to lose? Are they

worried about looking bad?

I think most people just hate me and they

don't want good things. They don't want

me to improve. They don't want me to

better myself. They just want to hate on

me because it makes them feel good.

It satisfies this primal instinct in

them that humans have to bully people.

I'm just trying to understand their way of

thinking because I find it very weird.

I hate a lot of people too, but I don't

stalk them and harass them and try and

bring them down. I just whinge about them.

I don't actually do anything to harm them

or their businesses.

But these haters, they take it a

step too far. They make it personal. When

they start involving my family and my

revenue sources,

they're taking it a level above just

whinging about someone,

and it's just kind of weird,

and I'm not sure I'm just wondering what

these people are like in real life. Are

they normal people? Do they have jobs?

Do they go to school? Do they have

It would just be interesting to see what

kind of people they are.

They'll probably claim that they are

normal people and they just do it in their

free time. They don't obsess over it like

I think they do. And they probably think

that their actions are justified because

they see me as this evil person who

must be taken down and he must face

consequences for what he's said and done.

And they think it's unfair that I'm not

suffering any consequences. So they feel

as though it's their mission, it's their

responsibility to make me face

consequences.

So maybe they get some kind of fulfillment

It's like a weird obsession, isn't it?

Like how I'm obsessed with Chris Broad and

Zach Choi. They're obsessed with me for

the wrong reasons.

Have you seen the recent stuff they're

trying to report me on? Tax in Japan.

They think they can report me to tax in

Japan and get me into trouble. I really

doubt anything would happen because back

in March when I had all these Japanese

people angry at me because of my bacon

video, they were all reporting me to the

tax people as well and nothing happened.

And I'm pretty sure I don't have to pay

tax in Japan because I Googled it and it

said in order to have to pay tax in Japan,

you have to be considered as tax resident.

And in order to be considered as tax

resident in Japan, you have to have a

permanent home in Japan for a year.

And I got married in March and I left

Japan in January, so I wasn't even married

in Japan for a year.

And before I was married, I was a tourist,

and they're not going to expect tourists

to pay tax, are they? So no, I'm not

worried.

They're all crusading against me now,

trying to get me reported for tax evasion.

As if Japan cares about me, someone who

didn't even live there for a year. As a

resident.

I wouldn't be considered as a resident in

Japan because I wasn't living there for a

year permanently. Yeah,

in total, if you include the months I was

living there as a tourist, then yeah, I

was over there for a year. But you don't

count the tourist bits. Tourists aren't

expected to pay tax. So they, they think

that I'm going to get arrested or

something at the airport. I can't wait to

go to Japan and then show them that I'm

not in trouble. And they failed again to

make me face the consequences of my

actions.

It would be hilarious if they arrested me

at the airport. I don't even know if I'd

make a video about it because I don't want

to give them the satisfaction of knowing

that their actions caused me to get

arrested. But then it would be tempting

for views, I guess.

If anything about the tax off did happen,

I would keep it secret.

And there's no way they would know if the

tax people fined me or made me— or

if they punished me somehow unless I said

it myself. So I'd probably just keep quiet

about it.

You won't go to jail. They're not that

strict. They'll just fine you.

What's up with my latest tweet? Did you

see Elvis the Alien replied to it? It's

kind of funny Elvis the Alien replies to

my tweets.

Well, maybe I'll just make it up. If

nothing happens with the tax stuff, I'll

just make it up, fake a story,

say I got caught for tax evasion when I

didn't actually. That'd be pretty funny.

No, I'm streaming now. This isn't a

Oh, thank you, Cesium. Your haters are

no-life losers. Imagine wasting your life

watching a YouTuber you hated. I know,

it's just weird. The people who hate me

most are the ones who have been watching

me for the longest. Even my most dedicated

fans don't have that level of dedication

to my channel and my content. Your haters

are no-life fioses. Imagine wasting your

life watching a YouTuber you hated. Hate

is stronger than love.

I kind of like it though. It's like a

challenge. It's like I have a rival, an

enemy,

a mass of people who want to see me fail

and are trying to get me into trouble.

And basically my goal is to stay out of

trouble and to not fail.

And so far they haven't really done

anything apart from piss me off. The only

thing they've accomplished is irritate me

and made me think about what they're

doing. Nothing's— nothing that

they've done has actually affected me.

In any way.

Not that I can think of.

Okay, okay, technically they got me in

trouble with the Turkish girl because they

screenshotted the bad things I said about

the Turkish girl onto the sub— onto the

subreddit from my Discord server. And if

they hadn't have done that, the Turkish

girl probably wouldn't have found out.

But then I made content out of it,

so they helped me make content basically.

Because if she didn't find out, then I

wouldn't have made the problems with the—

my problem with the Turkish girl video.

But then I guess they also indirectly

caused me to lose all those subs. I don't

know, I lost subs because of them, but

thanks to them I got a lot of money and

views.

Does it bother you that much what these

people are doing? A little bit, yeah,

when they're reporting me for tax evasion

and stuff.

And accusing me of this and that. It's

getting a little bit personal, don't you

think?

Contacting my family members about stuff

I've said as well. They're making it

personal, so yeah, it does kind of bother

They're actually trying to ruin my

What was that?

Dickballs the Third. What a weird

username. If you're going to do a drama

video, do your research. No, I'm not

wasting time researching about James

Charles.

What do you mean I don't have a business?

YouTube channels are businesses.

Define a business. A business is when you

make something for people and they consume

it, and then you get paid for what you've

made. I don't see how it's not a business.

You know, show business. TV,

that's a business.

Actors aren't business owners.

They can be.

If they created the

program that they're acting in,

then that program would be their business.

Why you have cereal with her if you don't

like her? Because it feels good.

You don't have to like someone to cereal

them. I'm not in love with my hand, but I

still masturbate with it.

Am I filed as a business? I am actually.

Had to register as a business according

to the tax people in England. If you make

over £1,000 a year, then you're obligated

to register as a business. So yeah, even

technically I am a business.

Anything's a business if you earn more

than £1,000, £1,000 a year,

and then you have to register for

self-employment, which I have,

before you start trying to report me

If it's not a business, then why do I have

to register as a business? We're going

round in circles here. Can we move on?

Oh, thank you, Cesium. Danny is better

than any actor since he produces direct

edits. Yeah, I do everything by myself.

I create the script, I rehearse it, I film

it, I perform it, I edit it, I put the

music— I don't make the music.

I create the thumbnail. Since he produces,

directs, edits, and markets his material.

I'm a one-man, one-man show.

You should write the music too. I was

thinking about it. Coach Red Pill makes

his own music and it sounds quite good.

I'm, I'm just not Good at making music. I

don't have any musical ability. It would

just be like this. Ba ba da ba da ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba ba.

It's easiest to just use YouTube audio

Coach Red Pill is a moron. Why?

He has a very successful business. He's

good with ladies. He sleeps with

supermodels. He's got kids, a wife.

How is he a loser? Oh, thank you,

Lazyface.

Imagine if he was my dad.

He would beat the shit out of me,

discipline me, call me a loser.

Are you saying this is an act? No,

I do not act. It's all authentic.

But I do rehearse. I think

about what to say, and then I rehearse it,

and then I perform.

What I want to say, like a speech.

Speeches are rehearsed and then performed.

What is the screen on my right? It's my

driveway outside my house.

I wonder where my mum is. She's a bit

late. She went to work at 10 and now it's

7. Maybe she went swimming.

I can't believe you're still

livestreaming. I've been at work for 4

hours. Started watching when I woke up.

I'm still here. Don't have anything

else to do. Speak about something

interesting. Give me a

suggestion.

I'm a bit scared my mum will find a new

man. My sister said she hopes

mum finds a boyfriend or a new person.

If I'm being selfish, I would prefer that

she doesn't. What if he's a weirdo and

then he moves in here and then he expects

to inherit part of the house.

He would, wouldn't he, if they got

married? Oh, I hope she doesn't get

remarried. What if he moves in here and

it's really awkward and he's

like the complete opposite type of man to

my dad? He's loud and he's— what's

the word— loud,

and he brings his mates around and they

sit around watching football. Oh, that

I don't think I could live here if she

brought back a guy like that. Some fat

football fan who drinks beer and brings

his friends around. I'd be sickened.

I'd be so offended. I would think, how

could you bring this, this imposter here?

In the house that my dad built for

us, for you, just feels like a betrayal.

But then it's kind of mean

to expect her to be alone for the rest of

her life. Very complicated

situation. Why can't she

just get a dog? Why does

she have to have a new man? She has lots

of friends.

I'm a bit scared about the future because

of what she might do to bring changes.

She keeps going on about starting a B&B.

And I don't really want a B&B here. I

don't want strangers walking around in the

garden, in the house. That'd be very

uncomfortable for me. She keeps saying

we can earn money. Yeah, I guess we could,

but are we really desperate for money that

much? And then she's gonna expect me

to help out and then start guilt-tripping

me into helping her run the business, the

B&B. Maybe it

would be a good idea. I don't know,

maybe, maybe it'll make money. Then I can

stop depending on YouTube for money. Be a

B&B— Airbnb manager.

But she has no idea how to run a B&B. And

then you have to file taxes again because

it's self-employment, and then sort out

all the management side of it. She doesn't

even know how to use a computer. So either

me or my sister would have to do it, or

she would have to get someone else to do

it. Oh, thank you. Let's get

this bread. Love you too.

If you make the Airbnb, be careful, fans

will come and stay. Awesome, Danny, we

wish you happiness. Purple heart, purple

heart. That's what I said.

If I tell people that we've started a B&B,

which I probably will because I can't keep

my damn mouth shut, people will find out

that we're running a B&B. Even if I didn't

say anything about it, you just have to

Google it and then our house would pop up

as an Airbnb, and then you'd get some

nutjob who follows my channel booking a

room so they can live with Danny boy.

Great. Then I'm stuck here all alone with

this nutjob. Who watches my channel, or it

might be some fat girl who's in love with

me and tries to— calm

down a bit, I nearly said the R-word. It

might be some fat, fat girl who sneaks—

who's in love with me and then sneaks into

my room and then intercourses

me during my sleep and then claims that I

raped her. Oops, I said the R-word.

Naughty. Can just imagine all the

complications that could come, and then

she could make all kinds of accusations

saying, Daniel forced himself on me and

now I'm pregnant, when actually it was the

other way around. I'd be so screwed. I

have to put a lock on my door.

Or what if it's some creepy gay guy sneaks

into my room at night? I don't think

my mum understands that a lot of weirdos

watch my channel, and if they found out

that they could book a room in our house,

they probably would. I would

have to move out if she started an Airbnb.

And then she keeps talking about cutting

trees down. No, stop cutting stuff down.

Just leave it. I don't know why she wants

to cut this down. Cut that down.

Hmm, no, I don't want to be an Airbnb

manager. She says she wants

to build some kind of cabin in the garden

and rent it out.

I don't know why anyone would want to stay

here. There's nothing here.

How much money can you make off an Airbnb

anyway?

What if some other YouTuber had the same

problem? Who else? Who could I picture it

happening to? That'll be my worst

nightmare. My privacy being violated

in real life. Having a bunch of strangers

in my home. I'd hate it. It'd be horrible.

And then I don't even know how my mum

would be okay with it because she's always

complaining about people making a mess and

not tidying up.

Imagine if we had Airbnb guests leaving

their panties all over the place and

wrecking the place.

And then I'd have to clean it up,

wouldn't I?

And then I could sneak into their rooms

and steal their panties and sell them on

eBay.

No, that's wrong. I would never do such a

thing.

Cute Japanese girls only, then I'd be up

for running an Airbnb. That'd be creepy,

wouldn't it?

I would like a collection of my exes' used

panties. I'd have their faces printed out

and then I'd pin it to the wall with their

used panties pinned down next to it.

Like a trophy. Hunter's trophy.

I want my own cabin and then pictures of

their faces, and then I'll have their used

panties hanging next to it as a trophy on

a hook.

Don't clip this.

Oh, did I tell you? I don't know if I've

told you this before. I probably kept

quiet about it because my wife told me not

to say anything. But my wife had this

weird story about rats eating the

crotch part of her panties when they're in

the laundry. She said, she said when she

was younger, she had a boyfriend and she

lived with him and he lived in this

horrible rundown place and there were rats

and they would just put their laundry in a

pile and the rats would come out at night

and eat the crotch bit, and she'd wake

up and find her panties— there'd be a hole

at the crotch part.

That's disgusting.

Rats are disg— ugh. Maybe because

it's salty that they are attracted to it

and they think it's food.

That's disgusting.

Maybe the smell smells like food to them.

Well, that was just a little nice anecdote

my wife told me once.

Make a video about it. Rats ate my wife's

panties. Might get demonetized.

Can I increase the volume? No, you

increase your volume. So I'm speaking

quite close to the mic.

I'm disgusting? I'm not the one who

nibbled her crotch patch, did I? The rats

are the disgusting ones. Don't blame me.

I've never nibbled on pant— actually,

I might have licked the crotch bit, but I

never nibbled it or ate it.

The most I ever did was sniff it and maybe

Meg Yeetman got triggered. Haha.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna nibble on your

crotch. I'm a good boy.

How are you? Long time no see. I'm very

hungry.

And I miss Japan. I miss my dad. I miss my

wife. I miss having sex.

I miss a lot of things.

I lost everything good in my life.

Well, I'll have a sex doll. I'll have a

sex doll tomorrow. That might make up for

it. Where am I gonna store it though?

Didn't think about that.

Maybe it'll fit into my drawer down there

if I take everything out.

Does my wife want me back? I don't know.

I'm not gonna say it's 100% no because

she's holding on to the divorce papers,

so If she's holding on to them, maybe

there's still a chance that she might take

me back. Oh, thank you, Jimmy Beck,

for the 99 cents.

Have I asked her? I joked about it, but

she ignored me. I told her I was going to

go— I was thinking about going back to

Japan. She said, why? And So then I said

to do the making up with my wife arc.

She didn't say anything. She didn't laugh.

She just moved on to the next question or

topic. Oh, thank you, Caleb.

Don't be silly, wrap your willy.

Wrap your willy. I would

for the Essex girl.

Oh, thank you, Jimmy Beck.

Ask my wife if she wants me back. What if

she says yes and then I change my mind

again? I'm not sure if I want to go back.

What if I don't? What if I shouldn't?

What if I do and then I regret it?

It's like I just got myself out of the

bear trap, now I'm trying to get back into

it. Because the bear

trap was comfortable and cozy and I felt

stable in the bear trap. Now I'm out of

the bear trap and I'm in the woods and I'm

lost and I don't know where to go and

there's evil things trying to eat me. So

maybe the bear trap wasn't so bad. I don't

think she would be like— I don't think she

would like being called a bear trap.

And then I'll miss being here.

Midnight Glow, shut up. You shut up.

I told you last time, go glow up someone

else's stream.

She doesn't want me back. Well, if she

doesn't want me back, Then why

is she holding on to the divorce papers?

If she was so over me and so 100% decided

that she would never take me back, then

why doesn't she just hand them in? Get it

over and done with. Is she waiting for me

to come back? Is she hoping that I'll ask

her to take me back?

What if she pretends to take me back but

she's actually building evidence

to sue me, get me in trouble whilst I'm in

Japan so I can't run away?

Why doesn't she say to come back? Why

doesn't she ask me to come back? Maybe

she's too proud to ask me to

come back.

Maybe she wants me to want to come back on

my own accord, not because she asked me

Do I watch Game of Thrones? Yes, I watched

all of them. Pretty disappointing last

episode. Didn't make sense because the

bad guys surrendered, but Dany goes crazy

anyway, and Nukes everyone for no apparent

reason.

Stop overthinking, go back to your wife.

But what if I don't go back to her and I

find someone better where the sex is 100

times better and she's younger and she's

prettier and I actually love her?

If I go back to her, then I might not ever

find that— that girl.

But what if I stay single and I don't find

her anyway? I don't know what to

do. Your wife can take your inheritance

when you died. Yeah, well, I can take hers

when she dies. Maybe that's why I should

stay married. No, I'm just kidding.

I wouldn't take her money.

Am I going to put in that much effort to

get a cute Japanese girl. No, I'll just

lie my tits off. I'm Daniel, I'm a

professional Japanese translator. I earn

50,000 a year and I have lots of friends.

And then I'll buy a muscle pack to put

under my shirt so I look buff. And I only

go to Japan in the winter so I can wear

lots of layers.

Is that wrong? Is it wrong to lie?

But women wear makeup. They lie too.

And they pretend to be nice until you get

married to them.

The catfishy becomes the catfisher.

I am a professional artist,

graphic designer, computer programmer.

I earn 60k a year. Would you like to be my

girlfriend? Girlfriend?

That's wrong. Shouldn't lie.

Really? Is it wrong to

lie to have sex?

Do you want to be my girlfriend?

I'm a pilot.

I'm a chef.

Well, it's either lie or die a virgin.

Which one would you pick?

Where's my mum? It's 8 o'clock.

I want my dinner.

I can't believe it. I have 88K subs. No

one wants to have sex with me. My

Instagram DMs have dried up. It used

to be overflowing with nudes,

and now nothing. Not even, not even the

transsexual people sending me anything

now. The hell happened?

When I was married, overflowing with nudes

in my DMs. Now I'm single,

ready to mingle, it's all dead, all gone,

all the fangirls.

Gone. What's the point of having a YouTube

channel and being famous when people don't

even want to have sex with you?

I bet loads of girls want to have sex with

Ben Deane, don't they? Bet Chris Broad has

his DMs overflowing with nudes.

Oh, thank you, Cesium. Lying is okay,

women are vapid. I shouldn't read that

out. I might get done for hate speech.

Plenty of dudes want to have cereal with

me. Women are just vapid creatures only

good for their— Shush, that's

misogynistic. Don't get me into trouble.

Yeah, and mental fat women. Yeah, there's

plenty of fat women who want to

taste my Cheerios. I should have

stayed with my wife. I think she was the

best I'm ever gonna be able to get.

German girl tricked me. You should have

seen the nude she was sending me. Legs

spread wide, telling me that I could fuck

her raw if I came to Germany. She said I

can have— she said you could have me if

you come to Germany. Completely tricked

This SD card, my new SD card,

has all the evidence on it, copy and

pasted. Just in case,

I have all the data pasted onto my LG and

my iPhone. Need to get it transferred onto

my S10+. Do you want to see my S10+? It's

very nice. Battery case. Battery lasts all

day long, and I use the phone all day

long, and I don't even need to charge it

once. It's amazing. Charge it overnight

and it's ready to go the next day.

What did my family say about the divorce?

It's funny because at the funeral everyone

was congratulating me. Congratulations,

Daniel, on your marriage. Oh, we're

getting divorced now. We're still not

divorced, which is kind of crazy. I

thought we would be divorced by now. I'm

still married, so I've been married for

over a year. Congratulations.

I don't know how my wife would take me

back after I've basically slept with 3

different women since separating. Oh dear.

I don't think— do you think she still

loves me as much as she used to? She must

hate me now. How could

she not hate me? I told her, I said to her

that these hookups weren't really that

great and I regret leaving her and I was

actually happier last year with you than I

am now. She said— she laughed, she did the

Japanese lol. She said, that's because

last year you had love.

So at least she can laugh about it, which

is kind of a good sign, don't you think?

You should understand that you met 4

girls, none of them were better than my

wife, so it means that your wife is worthy

and probably the best girl you could ever

have in your whole life. Or maybe I

just like Asian girls more. All the

girls I met were white. Maybe I just

prefer Asian girls in general.

The German girl was very pretty, but

again, I didn't feel any attraction to

her. Didn't feel like my heart was

fluttering like a butterfly. I still think

my wife is better looking,

and she's nearly twice the German girl's

age. I do

think my wife is good-looking. I've never

said she's ugly, especially her photos

from 10 years ago. She was hot.

But still, she doesn't have the kind of

Asian face that I think is my type,

the Hashimoto Rina face.

She has kind of like a westernized

Japanese face. It's weird because some

Japanese people think she's not Japanese.

We went into a restaurant at Hiroshima.

Do you remember? Who remembers the

Hiroshima trip before we got married? We

went to Hiroshima, which is how it's

actually pronounced because I speak

Japanese. And we went to a restaurant and

the waitress spoke to my wife in English

thinking that she was a foreigner.

We went to the nuclear bomb dome. That was

before she knew I was doing YouTube, but

she didn't question why I kept filming

everything. Did I make a video about that?

I did, with the deers, remember? There

were deer— deers or deer? And we were

feeding deer.

I had long hair and I was wearing a grey

scarf, and I was trying my best not to

show her face, but I accidentally showed

her face in the reflection of a signboard.

And people were pausing it and saying,

look at this timestamp, you can see her

Looks don't matter, but I keep imagining

some hot girl that I would meet if I'm

single and then we'd have amazing sex.

I never really felt like me and my wife

had amazing sex. It was just like,

not bad, but it was never like animalistic

It was never hot, steamy,

animalistic sex. It was just like, oh,

let's just do it because why not?

I guess I just never really felt super

physically attracted to her. I, I thought

she was okay looking. At least she wasn't

fat.

But I always say the best sex I ever had

was 2014. Chlamydia girl.

That, that was the best 3 months of my

entire life. It was hot,

animalistic, lustful.

It was so good.

And I guess I want something like that

again, even if it is only short-term

and it doesn't last. It'll be a nice

memory to add to the collection for when

I'm 80 and dying. I'd be thinking about,

oh, I'm so glad I got divorced and had

that animalistic 2-week splurge.

Oh, that was a good memory. Oh, now I'm

ready to die. Fuck off, world. I'm

leaving. I'm dead.

That's me when I'm 80, lying on my

deathbed. I'll be reimagining all of those

great times.

Ah, sweet memories.

It was amazing. It was middle of summer in

Japan, boiling hot, so we were just

sitting around naked all the time.

We couldn't keep away from each other,

all over each other all the time.

It was great. I'm so glad I have that

memory. Thanks to that memory,

I can feel satisfied When I'm dying, I

think, oh, thank God 2014 happened.

I might even consider getting chlamydia

again if I could have another experience

like that. It'd be worth it. And then I

can make a video, I got chlamydia again.

Without chlamydia, it would have been

better. Yeah, but without chlamydia, she

might have gotten pregnant because

apparently chlamydia stops you from

getting pregnant somehow.

Maybe it made me infertile because I did

have it untreated for weeks. I didn't get

antibiotics, didn't get tested until about

4 to 5 weeks after I got it.

Maybe even more, because I must have

gotten it straight away on the first

night, the first time we did it. And I

didn't get checked— we didn't get checked

until at least 5 weeks later, because

there were no symptoms until 2 weeks

later, so we didn't even know.

And then I just kind of ignored the

symptoms, hoping they would just go away

for the first few weeks. And then she

kicks me out. We had all this trouble

arguing. And then we didn't get checked

out until weeks later after we stopped

Symptoms were, first, it felt really

uncomfortable urinating. Felt like someone

was squeezing my tubes and it was

preventing the piss from coming out

properly. And then my elbow and my knee

swelled up. I couldn't bend my arm because

the joint was so swollen,

and I got this big lump on my elbow and my

knee. And then the joint pains got worse

and worse, got into my hips.

My hip joints were so painful I couldn't

even walk.

And then she would wake up randomly in the

middle of the night screaming in pain.

She would just wake up going, ahhhhhh.

It was scary.

And then we took antibiotics and it all

cleared up, but I still got the joint

pains for another 2 years. 2 years later,

I was still getting joint pains in my hips

and I was limping around. I got back to

England and About 4 months later,

because I went to Korea and I was

limping around because I had these joint

pains, my dad asked me why I was limping.

I didn't want to tell him, but I guess I

figured that I had to tell him, so I just

came out and I told him that I got

chlamydia in Japan. He just said, he just

said, oh, did you get it treated? I said

yes, but I still have these joint pains.

He didn't really say much.

I was limping around like an old man.

But if I had to go back in time and if

I had to choose between doing it all over

again, I'd probably still do it. It was

just really good sex.

I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't even

use a condom.

It was her fault. She slept with some

random white guy at a nightclub. A couple

weeks before we met up. So if

I had met her a few weeks later after she

got symptoms herself, then all

of this could have been avoided.

Using a condom wouldn't have been, um,

effective because we would need

so many condoms. The amount of times we

were doing it, it's just not reasonable.

It's not doable when you're just naked all

the time with a girl and you're both very

attracted to each other. Eventually you're

gonna slip up and it's just gonna go in.

Or you would wake up in the middle of the

night and you would just start humping.

Sometimes you're half asleep, you don't

even know what you're doing. Happened to

me once with the French girlfriend. I just

woke up in the middle of the night, we

started doing it, and I climaxed

after 5 seconds. She was so angry. She was

like, no, Daniel, oh my god. And then I

fell asleep again straight away.

5 seconds, my record.

Didn't even thrust for more than 10 times,

probably.

She wasn't very happy about it.

I wonder what she's doing now, the French

girlfriend. Should I look her up on

Facebook? Okay, I'll look her up on

Facebook, but don't call me creepy. You

guys made me do it. Oh,

thanks. Nope, nope.

What do you mean you'll play my skin

flute? I don't know what that means.

Don't know if I want to know.

Okay, I'm Facebooking her.

It says she works at EY. What is EY?

Try not to dox her. She studied at

Shinjuku Japanese Language Institution.

I wonder if she's been back to Japan since

we were together. She must have been back

at least once.

When did she go to Shinjuku Language

School?

Doesn't say.

She has a friend called Fanny.

Fanny means pussy.

Do you think I should hire a private

investigator to track down my haters?

That would be a pretty funny video. I

hired A private investigator to track down

my haters. See how they like it,

being doxxed. I'll show up to their house,

knock on their door, film their face for

Why don't I contact her? I contacted her

in 2000 and— I can't remember.

You remember when those terrorist

shootings happened in Paris?

I messaged her asking her if she was okay.

She said yes.

Now there's— I know I have thousands of

haters, but there's a couple that,

that are very annoying.

The ones on the subreddit, for example.

There's a few that I can name that I would

love to know who they are. What if

it turns out they're some pathetic fat

bald man who's 40 living in their parents'

basement? I would just feel a bit sorry

for them then. I wouldn't— I would stop

hating them if I found out my haters are

like complete pathetic losers,

unemployed, no friends, no lives. Live

with their parents in the basement, I

would— I wouldn't hate them anymore. I

would feel sorry for them.

I would think, oh wow,

okay,

well, at least, at least I'm giving them

some kind of happiness by letting them

hate on me. At least they're

having some kind of fulfillment in their

sad lives.

Thanks to my existence, I gave their lives

meaning and purpose for their crusade and

vendetta. It must make them feel good

about themselves, doesn't it? They must

feel good about what they're doing if

they're doing it. So if you think about

it, I've brought happiness and meaning to

their sad lives, which I feel quite proud

of. Makes me feel

a little bit wholesome.

So I guess you can't say I don't make

people happy. I made some people happy.

Let's see. Oh, she has new photos.

She's sitting on the Iron Throne from Game

of Thrones.

Oh, she came to London.

Oh, she met up with the guesthouse manager

who used to bang my ex.

I had no idea the chlamydia girlfriend was

actually banging the guesthouse manager.

When I was staying there in 2011.

She told me that they were kind of

together, but he would still go out to

nightclubs on the weekend to look for

girls, and if he failed, he would come

back to the guesthouse, knock on her door,

and bang her. Isn't that

kind of messed up? That made me a bit

upset hearing that. And then I thought

about it because I did remember seeing her

come out of his office quite a few times,

and his bedroom is in the office.

And she also slept with a Swedish guy,

and she told me about him.

She said he lost his erection in the

middle of it. He was this really tall

Swedish guy. I can't remember his name. I

knew about him. I had no idea about the

manager. I didn't know the manager was

Effing her. Now we're kind

of like dick bros, aren't we? Me and the

manager. Our dicks were in the same place.

That's kind of weird.

I was a bit disgusted actually after

hearing about the manager, and I felt a

bit withdrawn from her.

It took some time to get used to. I was so

shocked, I couldn't believe she was

hooking up with the manager because I

didn't like the manager. He was like one

of those guys who drinks protein shakes

and is into rap music and goes clubbing

and picks up girls and chats them up.

Don't like those people because I'm

jealous of what they're able to do. And

then to find out he was banging my

girlfriend all those years ago. It was

just— left a bitter taste in my

Basically, that whole guest house was just

like a frat house of people effing each

other. If you think about it, makes sense

as well, because you've got a bunch of

lonely Japanese girls who probably can't

find a boyfriend, then you've got a bunch

of lonely, horny foreign guys in Japan all

by themselves with no friends.

It's going to happen, isn't it? Everyone

was hooking up, everyone was coupling off.

Usually it was young guys and older

women.

There was me and the Korean girl who was

15 years older than me. There was Toshi

and that Japanese woman who was 10 years

older than him. There's also this Canadian

guy called Callum, and he looked like a

complete weeb. He had that long anime

hairstyle, and he was always with this

older Japanese woman. I don't know if they

were hooking up, but they were always

together, sitting together, watching

cartoons together.

Oh, guest houses, aren't they great?

Last time I went to a guest house wasn't

that great. Didn't hook up with anyone. I

did talk to a Japanese girl a bit. I was

livestreaming at the time, and then— no,

wait, was I? No, I wasn't. I was waiting.

I was about to meet David Bond. Yeah, and

then she walks past me. I was sitting at

the entrance, and then she just spoke to

me, which is weird because she never spoke

to me before. She said hello or something,

and then I said hello. I asked her where

she was going. She said she's gonna see

some school friends, and then she actually

asked me if I wanted to come along.

Couldn't believe it. She invited me to

come and see her friends, but I was stupid

and I said no because I'm meeting a

friend. David Bond. So thanks, David Bond,

missed out on potential vagina.

And then I went out and I saw David— I met

David Bond. We just walked around a bit,

and then he said he wanted to go back to

his hotel room, so I followed him back to

his hotel room, and then he fell asleep.

He said he was really tired and he wanted

to sleep, and he was asleep for an hour,

and And then he said I can sit there in

his hotel room doing whatever I do. I

waited an hour, and then 2 hours passed,

and then 3 hours passed, and then nearly 4

hours passed, and he was still sleeping.

And he was farting and snoring. And then

he finally woke up after 4 hours. I

thought, oh great, you finally woke up,

we're gonna go out now. And then you know

what he said? He said, actually, I'm still

tired, so you can You can go home now

because I'm just gonna go back to sleep.

So I just wasted four hours for him to

wake up, only to be told to go home. So I

went back to the guest house. I was pretty

He's a YouTuber. He has a channel. Just

type David Bond.

He kept asking me to come back to his

hotel room because he wanted to show me

his videos on his laptop, and I kept

saying no thanks. And then he tricks me

into coming back by saying that he's just

gonna go and have a rest.

So I said okay, then I went back to his

hotel.

It was so annoying. If you were going to

sleep, just tell me. I could have gone

home 4 hours ago. Not wasted all this

time. He was on your Discord server?

Yeah, he comes onto the Discord server now

and then just to check up, see if people

have been talking about him. And then we

met again the next day. He said we're

gonna— this— he said this time we're