why i regret buying Stellar Blade for PC PORT - Review and impressions

Hello, welcome back to a new video.

So recently I bought the brand new Stellar

Blade on the PC.

As someone who doesn't really have a PS5,

I was eyeing this game and I really wanted

to play it, and it finally came out on PC

and I was quite interested.

But so far it's been a bit boring.

I don't know why, but the combat just— it

doesn't feel great.

I'm not a big fan of the combat.

The environments look okay, but there's

not really much to them, is there?

So the price of this game is £60, which I

think is very expensive for an old game.

The game came out ages ago, so it's not

exactly a new game, is it?

So I don't know why I have to pay the

price of a new game for a game that is not

even new.

And also, I can't stop staring at her bum

because it looks really nice, but that's

neither here or there.

So the game is not very fun, to be honest.

It looks okay-ish, but for 2025, I would

expect a little bit more from my games.

And it's got these really annoying game

mechanics in it.

Like, so you've got these passcodes for

doors.

So what you gotta do is— it's really

irritating and pointless.

I don't know why they put this in the

game.

So what you do is you go here, and now

you've got to put in the code.

And luckily you can press H to look at a

hint, and then you've got to like quickly

type it in before it fades away.

And you can only do it a few times.

And this is such a stupid game mechanic,

like what is the point of that?

It's not hard, it's just irritating.

Just open the damn door, it will

automatically put the stupid code in.

I really don't understand why you want me

to remember that weird combination of

weird-looking letters.

It's just, I don't know, a really bizarre

design choice for the game.

These enemies are really boring, they're

like 4-legged spider things.

You just spam light attacks on them, they

die, or you can do some kind of special

attack, die in one shot.

So the game's kind of boring, to be

honest, so far.

Then you've got these camps And, um, okay,

stupid tutorial.

I guess you can level stuff up

and

you get XP.

Okay,

so in the shop you can buy potions,

ammunition, grenades.

Okay,

is that it?

That's all you can buy.

Then you got this thing here, skill

settings.

I guess you got some kind of skill tree.

It's okay, so you got a skill tree, like a

bit of an RPG element.

So we got survival.

Now it's telling me what to do.

Great.

I don't even get to choose what I want.

You're gonna make me choose it.

Perfect dodge.

So we got dodging.

What's that?

Impact double jump.

Oh, a double jump would be pretty cool

actually.

So you got a bunch of things to unlock.

Triple it.

Hmm, so I guess there's quite a lot of

different moves.

So far all I've got is this combo and

heavy combo and this— oh, you got

different combos.

Right, left, right, left, right, right.

Let me test it out.

Right, left,

right, left, right, left, right, left.

They all just seem to do the same thing.

Like, why would I do that?

Why would I do that more complicated

combo— right, left, right, left,

right— when I can just do left, left,

left, left?

Is it just for visuals or what?

He wants me to look around the camp.

I just did.

Oh, there's another thing— the music.

Yeah, the music in this game is really

annoying.

It's really cringe.

Rest, rest that nice plump booty.

God, this game is like such a gooner game,

like Dead or Alive, where it's just got a

bunch of hot girls.

Like that Dead or Alive volleyball game

where you just got a bunch of hot girls

and you just dress them up in different

costumes, watch them frolic around.

Can I even skip the cutscene.

You can't even skip the cutscene.

Oh my god,

what is that?

That is the dumbest looking motorbike

thing I've ever seen.

What's wrong?

Yeah, people were saying in the comments

of my other video that this, this

character is modeled off of the director

of the game's wife.

Yeah, okay, sure it is.

From here on, you have to stay.

And my girlfriend is Beyoncé.

Or whatever.

Yeah, I bet she's had like 1,000 plastic

surgeries.

There's no way any Korean woman naturally

looks like that.

It's like there's no way any Korean woman

would look like that unless they've had a

bazillion plastic surgeries, which nearly

all of them have had.

Trust me, I've dated— my first girlfriend

was a Korean woman.

She did not look like that.

And then I dated— well, didn't really

date.

I just had like a hookup and then stayed

at her house for about a week.

This Korean woman in Japan, I met her a

couple years ago.

If she looked like this, I would have

married her.

I would have never— imagine if she looked

like that.

Yeah, okay, I wish.

Korean women don't look anything like that

unless they've had a bazillion plastic

surgeries.

This is like some Bayonetta ripoff.

At least Bayonetta has some kind of

personality though.

I hate all this.

Okay, that was kind of cool, I guess.

But the music's so annoying.

It's like,

it's so irritating.

Like, so trying hard, trying hard, so hard

to

sexy.

I wish the enemies were more interesting

instead of these weird tentacle squid

things.

I don't know, like more humanoid looking

would be better.

Also sprinting is annoying, so you gotta

hold Shift and when you do it, it will do

a dodge at first.

Stop popping stuff up and tell me what to

do.

Oh my god, you hold Shift down and first

she does a dodge and then goes into the

sprint.

By comparison, she's looking pretty good.

After the colony extinction, most places

were nothing but— wait, there's a fusion

cell.

How do I do these?

What is this, like a fusion reactor?

That cars have now.

High compression battery.

What is that?

What the car runs off in the future?

Yeah, I mean, that's kind of cool

if battery technology in the future gets

so good you don't need those massive

batteries underneath the car.

You have like a little cell,

like a nuclear fission core.

Oh my God, what the fuck was that?

That was weird.

I'll try my new combo.

It barely did anything.

Oh my God, I'm gonna die.

What?

Oh, this game is shit.

Screw this.