I broke up with my girlfriend

So, um, I finally did it. I broke up with

my girlfriend. I told her a few days ago

over Skype, just via text messages.

Actually, at first I wasn't even going to

tell her anything. I was just going to

block her and delete her and ignore her.

I blocked her on Line, which is this

messaging app that we use, but I I forgot

to block her on Skype. I deleted Skype off

my phone, but I forgot to delete it off my

iPad. And when I looked at my iPad, there

was a little red number 1 next to the

Skype icon. And out of curiosity, I

clicked on the Skype icon and I got about

7 to 10 messages from her, loads of missed

calls. She was saying that if

I want to break up, I should just tell

her, not just ignore her. And she wanted

to know what was going on. She even left

me a voice message, which I listened to,

and it was really sad listening to it.

She was saying something like,

um, why won't you call me? Why won't you

reply to me? After I heard that voicemail,

I felt really guilty, and I felt like I

really should tell her. I should at least

tell her properly my feelings instead of

just ignoring her like this, because I've

had the same thing done to me before.

I've been blocked blocked and ignored like

that before, and it doesn't feel good. I

just told her that I've been doing some

thinking and I don't think it's gonna work

out. We're not really suited to each

other, and that it's not your fault. You

didn't do anything wrong. And yeah, I just

said I'm really sorry, and that was how I

broke up with her. And in response, she

said something like, that's really unfair

of you. I want to talk properly. And I

responded with, what do you want to talk

about? Because I didn't feel like there

was anything more to talk about. And that

was about 3 days ago. Since then, she

hasn't replied, and I did get a few missed

calls from her, which I missed. There's 2

main reasons why I decided to break up

with her, and those are: number one, I

don't really feel attracted to her, and

number two, I don't think she's an

interesting person. We have nothing in

common. I found it really difficult to

think of things to talk to her about

because she doesn't know anything or have

any interest in the things that I'm

interested in. And I'm not really

interested in talking about random things

or making small talk. That isn't really

something that I enjoy doing. I like

talking about things that are interesting

to me, and if I sense that the person I'm

talking to isn't really interested in

those things as well, then I kind of just

give up and I don't even try to talk to

them about the things that I want to talk

about because it feels kind of pointless.

The thing is, if I felt attracted to her,

I wouldn't actually care if we had a lot

of things in common or not. I wouldn't

really care if she wasn't interested in

listening to the things that I wanted to

talk about if I was attracted to her. The

problem is I don't really feel attracted

to her and I don't find her interesting.

I could overlook the fact that she's not

very attractive if we had things in common

and I really found it fun and interesting

to talk to her, but she has neither of

those things. I'm not attracted to her and

I don't find her interesting, so I feel

like you need one or the other. I can

understand that it's very unlikely to be

able to find a partner where you feel

really attracted to them and you have

loads of things in common, and I guess

it's kind of unrealistic to expect that

from your partner, but I just can't be in

a relationship where I don't feel

attracted to her and we have nothing in

common. If you ask me, can you tell me one

good thing, one thing you really like

about your girlfriend, I would really

struggle because I can't really think of

anything that I really like about her

apart from the sex, and even the sex got

kind of boring after only 2 weeks. She has

asked a few times in the past if she could

see my YouTube channel, but I never felt

like that there was any point because

number one, she doesn't speak English, so

she wouldn't even understand what I'm

talking about anyway. Plus, I don't think

she would understand the kind of humor my

videos have, and I've made countless

videos talking about her and other girls

and relationships in the past, and I'm

pretty sure she would be kind of upset if

she saw those. This whole relationship has

just been a complete disaster. Right from

the beginning, I kind of realized that we

had nothing in common, but I was just so

focused on having sex and that was all I

could think about. I kind of let that

blind me to all the red flags and I didn't

really care about anything else. I didn't

care that we didn't have anything in

common. I just wanted to have sex. That

was all I was thinking about. But now that

I've had sex, I don't really feel like

there's anything out of this relationship

that I want anymore. I didn't think it

would be this difficult, you know. I

thought it'd just be like, just have sex

and then say goodbye to her, finish, move

on to the next one. But I feel really

shit. I feel like a dick. I feel so guilty

and bad about it. I imagine how sad she

must be feeling, and it just tears me up

inside. And I don't know what's worse,

breaking up with her because I've had

enough of having sex, or staying in a

relationship with someone that I don't

really have any feelings for, but just out

of guilt. It's just kind of funny, I

think. I've gone through so many different

emotions, and I've changed my mind so many

times. Just a few months ago, I was even

thinking about going back to Japan in July

to meet her again and rent an apartment.

And back in January, I was even thinking

about getting married to her when I hardly

knew anything about her. It was just

craziness. It just feels like so

much has happened in such a short amount

of time. I just don't understand why this

keeps happening. Why do relationships have

to be so difficult? Why is it so hard?

How come I can't just have sex with

someone and not end up breaking their

hearts? It's like this happens every time.

Do you think I enjoy breaking people's

hearts? Because I don't. I don't enjoy

making people upset or sad. I want people

to be happy. Can't you just be happy?

Why? Why can't you be happy?

Was it my fault that I didn't really feel

attracted to you? Was it my fault that I

didn't find you to be very interesting?

Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I should have

found out those things. Maybe I should

have found out if I actually liked you or

not before having sex with you. But I

guess it's too late now. So I just wanted

to say sorry for making false promises.

Sorry for wasting your time, and I

hope you feel better soon. Don't stay sad

for too long. And, um,

yeah.