She dumped me again ：(

Oh my fucking

God. Oh my God,

she just left. She just came over

like a few hours ago and

she just left.

I couldn't stop her.

I tried really hard. I couldn't stop her

from leaving.

She, um— She

was over just now, and then, um, we were

about to download some games, and then she

went onto my, my folder system.

She found— she found

my videos. The secret

videos of

me and Chihiro.

Oh my God.

First she went upstairs and she was in the

bed. I thought, okay, I can fix this. And

I tried talking to her and then she just

started packing her stuff and then she

just drove off. And I said, is it over?

And she said she doesn't see how we can

fix this. She said I'm just like her ex

who also had the same thing.

I don't know what I can do about that.

It was in the recycling bin. I downloaded

them like a couple of weeks ago

and then I put— I deleted them again, but

I didn't empty the recycling bin.

She said it was messed up.

Yeah, I didn't— I didn't think it would

have been that big a deal either. But she

was really upset with it and she just

stormed off. She just packed all her stuff

and got in her car and left. We were

supposed to spend the whole weekend

together and we were going to do stuff.

Yeah, it was like, like a folder of some

videos that I took with Chihiro, and then

I think Tomoko's video was in there, and

then another one of someone else. You

know, that stuff I filmed like 8 years

ago. Yeah, explicit.

Why would you have material around when

she was there? I forgot. I completely

forgot it was on my computer. I didn't

expect her to go through my computer

folders. I feel so

stupid.

I had like a bunch of folders And then

some of the folders had like little funny

clips of me staring at the webcam. So she

was looking at those and laughing, and

then I deleted them. And then she went

into the recycling bin to find them again.

And then in the recycling bin was the

stuff of me and Chihiro that I put in this

recycling bin.

I can't believe it. Everything was so

good, and then in a split second, it's all

just ruined.

Because we were checking to see if we had

enough space on the computer to download a

game, and then went into the computer

folders. And then there were some

videos of me, and then I quickly deleted

the videos, which puts them into the

recycling bin. And then she went into the

recycling bin, and in the recycling bin

were my explicit videos that I— okay,

I watched them like 2 weeks ago when

we had that other fight.

I literally begged her I said, I'm sorry.

I said, well, I'll delete them all now. I

even said, I'll show you my whole phone.

She said she would have preferred it if I

was talking to other girls instead of

watching that stuff.

She just added me back to her Steam

family. Now she's going to remove me

again. I said, please don't block me

again. She said, okay, I won't block you,

but I don't

know. How do we even come back from this?

Do I still have the videos now? Well,

yeah, I said I'll delete them. I said I'll

delete every single one of them in front

of you. But she said there's no

I can't believe it. I messed up so bad

just because I forgot. I don't know what

is wrong with my memory. It's like I'm

forgetting things more and more recently.

Oh, for fuck's sake. I should have bought

the washing machine. We were having such

a good time.

It was like the perfect evening.

She said it was exactly what her ex did.

And I said, it's kind of normal for guys

to have some, some kind of

content of their exes.

What I mean, are there any guys here who

have filmed that kind of content and

you didn't delete it after the— She said I

was still really into Chihiro or

something. Which is just not true at all.

I can't believe she actually just packed

her stuff and got back in the car and

left.

I actually— I can't believe— I had a

feeling she was going to do it. I thought

it wasn't that bad.

You should not keep stuff of your ex.

I mean, yeah.

Chi-Chi's gonna be mad. She knows.

I can't believe Chihiro ruined my

relationship.

I had the whole weekend ready

to go and we were gonna go out and do

stuff and have a good time, and then it's

just all destroyed because of a few

thumbnail video thumbnails.

She said that I shouldn't have been

looking at it anyway when we were

fighting.

There's like nothing I could say. I said I

was sorry. I said, what can I do to fix

it? I tried coming up with solutions.

There's like nothing I can do.

You can hide folders in Windows. I didn't

have it saved on the computer. I mean,

okay, technically it was saved on the

computer, but I deleted them. It's just

they were on the recycling bin.

Stupid recycling bin. Why does it go to

the recycling bin when I press delete?

Why can't it just delete the damn thing?

Why does it go to the stupid recycling

bin?

Why she dump you? We were on my computer

and then she was looking through my

folders and then she found some little

clips of me, and I quickly deleted them

because it was embarrassing. And they went

to the recycling bin, and then she opened

the recycling bin, and in the recycling

bin were about 6 or 7 explicit

videos of me and my exes.

Why was she in the recycling bin? I just

said we were looking to free up

space on my hard drive to download a game.

She went onto my folders and then saw a

funny video of me, and then I quickly

deleted it, put it in the recycling bin,

so she went into the recycling bin to

restore it. And in

the recycling bin, there were like 6 or 7

explicit videos with thumbnails.

Can't believe it. Not even a week since

we resolved the last fight, and then she's

here for like 4 hours and then out the

door already.

It's just chaos, this relationship.

Utter chaos.

Now what am I gonna do?

Job sucks. I got paid for the

job. It was terrible.

It was only for February, but it was like

9 days worth of work. I only got— they

only paid me £300. That's like £30 a

day. I delivered

536 parcels and they only paid me £300.

That's like 57 pence per parcel.

So even if I delivered 2,000

parcels, they'd only pay me £1,000.

Yeah, I've got the payslip. It has the

whole thing broken down by parcel type.

The number of deliveries made.

Technically, it is over minimum wage

because it's like 3 hours work and you're

getting paid like £30, £40,

£45. So it's like £12 per hour, isn't it?

So they can say, oh, it's above minimum

wage. Yeah, I don't know.

The boss said, oh, you can do 120 parcels

and you'd make £35K a year. To make that,

you have to deliver 200 parcels a day.

God, I can't believe what just happened.

I honestly can't believe it.

At one moment we're on the sofa cuddling,

having the greatest time, And then within

2 seconds, it's all destroyed.

I can't, I can't believe

it.

All it would have taken was to click empty

recycling bin. I literally cannot believe

I messed up so badly. All I would

have had to have done was like an hour

before she came over, clicked empty

recycling bin. None of that would have

Yep, she walked out.

That chair just ruined my life again.

She thinks she's going to block me again.

I said, please don't block me again. She

said she won't. And then I said, But are

we— are you saying it's over? And then she

said she doesn't see how it can be fixed.

You can see how that would be an issue for

her. Yeah, she said, imagine if it was the

other way around and I saw stuff of her

with her exes. Yeah, I mean, I'd find

it traumatizing,

but I wouldn't want to break up over it.

I don't know. It's hard to imagine. I

don't know how angry I would be.

I guess, yeah, you would get like that

sinking feeling in your chest.

I don't know what to do now.

Honestly, I just— I

can't believe she just walked off and

drove off.

I don't think I have the mental strength

to keep going like this. Like, the job—

the job sucks.

We just fixed everything after the last

fight.

I'm not lying.

I just made like this amazing beef and

chips dinner and we watched 2 episodes of

Handmaid's Tale and then we're going to do

some gaming. And then she saw these videos

on my laptop and she just drove off home.

Surprised you're that sloppy. Why do you

think I had so much drama in all my other

relationships? Is what was— I mean, the SD

card was like a massive content back in

2019. You remember? Do you remember the SD

card situation? This is literally the

This is literally the same as the SD card

fiasco all over again.

Did you chase after her? Yeah, I tried to

stop her. I was like, please don't go.

Come on, we can talk about this. I

pleaded. I said sorry. There's literally

nothing else I could have done.

Recycle bin auto-deletes after a certain

amount of time. Yet 30 days? It hasn't

been 30 days since I had them on my

computer.

She thinks I'm like really still into

Chihiro or something when

it was just You know, W-A-N-K material.

How did she come across the vids? We were

on my laptop and we were going to download

a game, so we needed to free up some

storage. And then she went into my folder

management system, found a video of, of my

face, like a webcam video, clicked it. It

was just like a 2-second clip of me

staring into the camera. We laughed and

I was like, no, don't look at it. And I

deleted it and then it went into the

recycling bin and she chased after it and

she went into the recycling bin and I had

completely forgotten I had about 5 or 6

explicit videos in the recycling bin that

I deleted a couple of weeks ago.

Come on. Is it— is it— I know it's messed

up. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying

it's normal, as in, like, right.

It's definitely messed up. But come on.

I'm not the only one who has wank

material. You know,

sometimes you just— I don't know,

you need something where you— it just,

you know, you don't want to spend too much

time doing it.

You know, sometimes I watch gay stuff,

sometimes I watch ladyboy stuff,

sometimes I watch ex stuff,

just, you know, to get over and done with

and fall asleep.

That's all it is. It's not like I'm in

love with Chihiro or anything. It's not

like I'm gay. Just because I watch gay

stuff doesn't make me gay. It just means I

don't know, got an itch for that.

I think I want to leave, to be honest. I

kind of want to go home. I can't do this.

I just— I don't know why I'm doing this

anymore.

I've got a damn washing machine coming

tomorrow morning. I just,

I just don't know what to do anymore.

I feel like things have gotten so messed

up between me and Sunny. I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, I could return the washing

machine and— Rejects

delivery. Yeah, the pay for this job is

awful. It's like, I did the maths and

it came to about an average of 57 pence

per parcel.

The boss completely inflated the numbers

to make it sound better than it actually

is, and then what I actually got was just

rubbish. I reckon even

if I do this job every day, Delivering 70

parcels a day, I'd only make about £1,000

I got paid £310 for February, which was

about 9 days of work.

I don't know what to do. Honestly, it's

just— I don't know what to do.

Everything was so good again, and now it's

all just messed up again.

Like, if she, if she hates me now and like

she's lost all respect for me and

seeing that has just, I don't know,

ruined it, then there's literally nothing

I can do. What can I even do?

It's like completely broken now.

She said that if I really loved her, I

wouldn't have watched those videos in the

first place. I mean,

I disagree, but if that's what her opinion

is, that's her opinion, isn't it? I can't—

you can't argue with someone's opinion.

It's like You

can love someone and watch porn, can't

I watched it once and then I thought, oh,

it's boring. And then I put it in the

recycling bin.

Call her and say what? I already said

everything I could have said.

I would just be repeating what I already

said just now.

I can't believe I was so stupid to put

that stuff on my computer.

Have I deleted them now? Well, what's the

point deleting them now? It's too late.

If Sunny watch her ex, will I get angry as

well? Yeah, I can

understand. I'm not saying I don't

understand her.

I'm not saying she's being silly. Like,

it makes sense.

So there's like nothing I can argue

against it.

All I can say is I It doesn't mean

anything to me. I mean, that's literally

what people say when they cheat, like,

oh, it didn't mean anything, it was a

mistake. That's literally what they say,

but it doesn't make it any better, does

it?

Sounds like it could work alongside

YouTube. Well, to be fair,

it's only 3 hours of work.

So for 3 hours of work, you can't really

expect to make more than £40 or £50,

can you?

If you do more than 80 parcels, like 90 to

100, then you can make a bit more, about

£70, but then you're looking at 4 hours

plus. I reckon they've calculated

the rates of the parcel to make it so that

a competent driver will be able to make

about £13, £14 an hour. But that's

only if you are quick. If you're slow,

then that's going to be worse per hour.

But they've probably calculated the rates

so they can just about get away with

claiming that they pay above minimum wage.

I felt, I felt so demoralized today, like

I just, I didn't care anymore.

I didn't bother taking the pictures

properly. I just felt like, what's the

point? I'm doing this for like £30.

It's gonna cost me like £10 to charge my

car every few days. My car's getting

wrecked on these farm roads.

I can't believe she just drove off.

Came here after work and she was going to

stay the night and we're all looking

forward to it, and then she just literally

gets in the car and leaves.

I can't— I actually, I can't believe it.

It's just crazy.

This is just not working, is it? This

whole trying to have a life here. I'm on

the brink of giving up.

I really think I'm about to give up on

this whole thing.

I just— I don't know. It's so hard.

Why is this— why is it so hard?

Now I'm just dreading, like, is she going

to block me? Am I going to get an email

saying removed from Steam again? Or is she

going to write a message saying it's over?

And she— I feel like it's done.

I feel like there's no coming back from

this. I feel like she's going to say,

I tried thinking about it, really wanted

to forgive you, but those images keep

going through my mind.

And she said that her ex also did the same

thing, and I said, did that lead you two

to break up? And she said, no, I tried to

forgive him, but I ended up hating him

So she couldn't forgive the ex for the

Then, um, it's probably done.

She probably thinks that's like the same

as cheating.

Delete the videos right now. I said I

would delete them in front of her. I said

I would delete them on every device I've

I said I'll show you my DMs, and then she

said okay, and then I showed her my DMs,

and then she started looking at them, and

then she said What's the point?

I don't want to be in a relationship where

I have to do this.

What am I going to do now? Did you ask for

forgiveness? Yeah, I said, can you not

forgive me? Is there nothing I can do?

And she was like, what do you want me to

Was the makeup serial wild?

We didn't even do it. She left.

She just got in her car and drove off.

Oh yeah, I mean, last time she came,

obviously. Yeah.

I would lose trust for my partner if they

had old homemade videos with exes.

I'm screwed then, aren't I?

Like, she's probably gonna go home and

then tell her mum what happened, and the

mum's going to be like, I told you so,

and then convince her into blocking me

Oh my God, I just— I honestly

don't know what to do.

What are you thinking right now? I don't

know. I'm just, like, in a state of shock.

I can't— She was right here, and then she

just went.

I thought maybe if, if she was here, we

could talk it out, but I

thought, because, you know, most of the

fights happen when we aren't together and

it happens over text. But even in real

life, she just kind of shuts you out,

blocks you out, and then leaves.

I mean, she literally said she went on a

date last time we broke up.

She said she went on a date with a sweet

guy. And then I, I didn't make

a big fuss about that.

I'm gonna tell that to her, actually.

I should have brought that up when she was

here. Yeah, it's not fair. She literally

said she went on a date with another guy

and I didn't say anything about that.

She's probably going to say that's not

even the same thing.

That was a lie. Well, I mean, yeah, she

could now turn around and say that was not

true.

What do you think is worse? Going on

an actual date with another guy whilst

you are fighting with your boyfriend or

the guy watching videos of his ex doing it

whilst you're fighting? Which one's worse?

Like, the first one is actually meeting a

guy but not doing anything. And then the

second one is not meeting anyone but like

fantasizing about doing it.

Yours was worse. Oh, you're just saying

that.

It doesn't look like I'm blocked. I've got

the double ticks. She should be

home by now.

I can't believe this. One thing after

another, isn't it?

It's like, if I forgave her for that, why

can't she forgive me for this? Call it

Do you think I deserve

to be forgiven?

Yes or no?

Poll it. Okay, does everyone know what

happened? I'll explain it one more time.

Uh, we were on my computer looking at

storage because we're about to download a

game. Um, she went on to my images, my

image folders, and there was a video of my

face just like staring at the webcam for 2

seconds because I I don't know what

happened. And then I deleted it because

it's embarrassing. It went to the

recycling bin. She quickly went into the

recycling bin to retrieve it, and in the

recycling bin there was, I don't know, 5

or 6 explicit videos of me and my ex.

And then she packed her stuff, stormed

out, got in her car and left.

Do I deserve to be

forgiven? Start poll.

You've done nothing wrong? Really?

Seriously, you think that? And I know you

aren't a troll.

I know it must have hurt to see that.

But it was an honest mistake. She said it

wasn't a mistake when you downloaded it

and saved it. It was true.

Obviously I download— I mean, I saved it.

Oh, thanks, Ollie.

I mean, obviously I saved it with the

intention to watch it cuz I was, you know,

in the mood.

This is obviously fake and we all know it.

No matter what you say, you are still

going to attract more viewers because,

hey, it's drama everyone wants, like

you've said yesterday. You and YouTube are

so stupid. No, it's not fake. I don't

really know how I can prove it's not fake.

This weekend was supposed to be the first

weekend since we got back together because

the last weekend she spent it with her

family. And this was supposed to be like

the weekend since we got back

together. And then it didn't even get to

the weekend.

You also shouldn't have been saving that

video for later.

Yeah, I know. I know there's no way to

justify watching those videos.

When did I delete them? I deleted them

probably 2 weeks ago, 3 weeks

I thought— because last time we fought and

she blocked me, I thought it was over,

so I just needed something to help me

sleep at night.

So I saved them onto my, my computer.

Yeah, but then next day I deleted that,

put them into the recycling bin. I didn't

realize it was going to get saved into the

recycling bin. I thought if I press

delete— I know I should know this, I've

been using computers for what, 20 years?

Obviously I know when you delete stuff it

goes to the recycling bin. I just pressed

delete and then I forgot to empty the

recycling bin.

I just— I honestly didn't expect her to go

through my computer files. I got careless.

Oh God, doing polls is so boring. You guys

always vote 50/50. It's like almost 50/50

split every time.

Might as well not ask.

I mean, it's a really tricky situation

because it could literally happen to

anyone, and it can happen very innocently

and very randomly. Like, oh, you're on

your phone and you're looking at your

photo gallery and you swipe, swipe,

swipe, and oops, naked woman photo you

downloaded. 4 weeks ago randomly pops up

and you just forgot about it.

It's so difficult. Like, anything can

randomly happen and just wreck everything.

Why download them in the first place when

you're in a relationship? What, when I was

blocked for 2 weeks and I thought it was

over? What a surprise, another breakup.

Oh, what a coincidence. Daniel gets his

invoice where it shows he is working like

an idiot for peanuts, and since he is

broke Well, are you guys too dumb to see?

He creates a breakup every 2 weeks. It's

all about money.

I wish it was fake.

God, I wish it was fake and she was like,

come in tomorrow or something.

She came today. About 5

hours ago, 6 hours ago,

we had dinner and then we watched some

shows and then we're going to do some

gaming. Oh my God.

You should have seen the moment when the

laughter turned— the laughter, because we

were laughing and then we saw all these

thumbnails of like my dick popped up and

then the laughter quickly disappeared

and I was like, oh shit.

At first I thought, okay, this is just

embarrassing, but we're laughing, that's

good. And then I saw her face just go

from like laughing to, I'm mad.

And then I was like, oh my God.

I thought we were just laughing.

I kind of thought she knew that I would do

stuff like this.

Like, that whole SD card thing was

basically the same thing where I had my

secret stash on it and then Chihiro found

I can't believe it happened again.

What happened is Sunny found

my stash of explicit videos,

and then she just got in her car and left.

Did you ever make an arrangement of not

having such pics and vids?

No,

I, I had a phase, um, back in 2018 where

I filmed a lot of stuff.

But, you know, after a couple of years, I

grew out of it and I stopped doing it.

But the stuff is still saved.

And I was just sad and lonely one night

and I dug it out.

I just dug it out and then I forgot to get

When she found them, why did— why she left

and didn't talk about it?

Because she was angry. I mean, we did

talk about it, and it was basically just,

you know, it's over kind of talk. There's

like no Negotiating.

No, you had already decided.

God, I fought so hard to get her back.

I fought so hard to get her back, and I

went through such mental torture.

And then lost her again, not even a week.

I actually can't believe it.

I think the difference is that the fact

that I saved it and watched it fairly

recently And you can't really

make up an excuse. I mean, I've got a

reason. I've got a reason why I did it,

but it's not a good reason.

I really don't know what to do with the

rest of my life when this,

you know,

I just feel like I've got a long life of

suffering.

Sometimes, I mean, I don't want to start

thinking I wish my life was over because I

know that's like a dark road, but

sometimes I really feel like, what is the

fucking point? I just— I feel like

I'm in— I'm suffering.

Like my whole life is suffering.

And yeah, okay, maybe a lot of it's my

And yeah, I am a fucking idiot.

This you guys ever seen any proofs from

those breakups with Sunny? Didn't you

notice Daniel hasn't shown a single

message, screenshot, no statement from

Sunny, nothing? It's all his imagination

for views, guys. And yeah, he is that

Why does she judge you for something that

happened before your relationship?

It's because I was the one who brought it

back up again.

I was the one that voluntarily sought it

out, saved it, watched it.

The moment of clarity is good, but it

won't last. So I'm sorry, but I don't

care. She is going to try to get back with

you, and you'll take her back. This is a

sign to seriously improve your life,

Daniel. You deserve better than this, but

not if you keep letting Don't

worry, Daniel-san, you are going to make

it. Thanks.

But I mean, it's literally like what those

people who cheat say. They just say, oh,

it was a moment of weakness. It didn't

mean anything. I regret doing it. But

saying all that stuff doesn't change the

fact that they did it. And it was like the

fact that they did it that broke the

relationship and they shouldn't have done

it in the first place. I'm not saying

that what I did was as bad as actual

cheating, but it's like a similar thing.

You blew it again. Yeah, I know. This is

why I'm so mad at myself. I can't believe

I— I just can't

believe it. I just can't believe it.

Your debt seems to be increasing, not

getting smaller. Yeah, because I keep

buying new stuff. Like, I just bought a

washing machine recently, and then I

just bought another car charger because my

other one melted. That costs £100. I mean,

I'm going to have to buy one anyway. Even

if I went back home, I'd need a car

What's the plan now? I don't know. I would

like to hope that she's going to forgive

me, but If

for her the relationship is ruined because

of this, I can't really change her mind,

can I?

Why is she mad if you deleted the videos?

It's because that still doesn't change the

fact that I watched it a couple weeks ago.

Were the videos of Chi— yeah, it was

Chihiro, Tomoko,

and this other

woman. Japanese woman.

I just didn't think she was going to go

through my folders.

Oh, those videos really came back to bite

me in the backside, didn't they?

How did she find out you watched them?

Because they were in my recycling bin.

'Cause I deleted them, but I didn't empty

the recycling bin. Show us that Sunny is

not in your house right now. Go to every

room, including showing under the bed.

I'll give you $20.

Are you really gonna give me $20? You

better give me $20 then.

Tossing. Okay,

there's a car outside.

Yeah, as if Sunny's going to come back.

Just the neighbor.

Nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga,

nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga. She left a

hair straightener. Do you think maybe it's

not over then? She took her toothbrush and

her toothpaste.

Did she turn the heating on here? I swear

I didn't turn that on. Oh my God, I think

there was a chance because she got into

the bed. And she was like in

the bed, and I thought— I didn't know if I

should leave her alone or if I should try

and talk to her. I think trying to talk to

her made it worse.

Look, nothing.

Kitchen's empty. Look, I just made dinner

for us. I had steak chips.

I got her garlic bread as well.

I got her this garlic bread.

Where's my

Like, I thought if as soon

as she saw it, she was— she definitely

decided, oh my God, it's over, then she

would have packed her bags and left

straight away. But she didn't. She went

upstairs, got in the bed.

And she was on her phone. I don't know,

maybe texting her sick sister. So I'm

gonna plug my battery in.

You didn't show under the bed, so no $20

for you. Ugh,

there's no

way she can fit under the bed. That

thing's quite low.

Yeah,

so she got into the bed after she saw

it, and then she was crying, and then I

tried to talk to her. Do you think I

should have just left her alone? I thought

if I left her alone, she'd think I don't

care. About her. So I went up and I just—

I sat on the bed and I tried to talk to

her, and that seems to have just made it

worse. But I feel like if I

just ignored her and left her in the

bedroom, she would have come down and been

like, yeah, I'm gonna go.

You're a creep for keeping vids of your

ex. Well, yeah, I am a creep.

That was like the whole thing about my

channels was that I'm a weirdo.

I didn't think— I thought she knew that.

I'm a massive pervert.

What did you say when you sat on the bed?

I said, I'm really sorry.

Can you forgive me? And then she just

said, I don't know what you want me to

say. And I said, I don't know what to say

either, really.

And then she started saying that I still

have feelings for my ex-wife, which I

don't.

You still talk about your ex-wife a lot.

I mean, I don't talk about her that much.

I feel like the frequency of me talking

about Chihiro has gone down a lot over the

years, mainly because there's nothing to

talk about. But I talk about everyone,

not just Chihiro.

I said I don't have feelings for my

Couldn't you watch normal porn? Well,

I did, but you know, sometimes you want

something else.

I feel like when we have a fight, she kind

of just shuts me down and there's like

nothing I can say to make it better.

It's like the more I talk, the worse I

make it. So I thought maybe I just won't

say anything. That's what I did last time.

I thought I just won't say anything and

I'll ignore her. And then that also made

it worse. So it's either I don't say

anything and I make it worse, or I say

stuff and make it worse. There's like no

way to make it better.

And I can't even say that I didn't talk to

any girls because I think a couple of

girls did message me on Instagram. Not,

not in like a sexual way or anything. And

okay, I replied to them. I just

gave a short reply. So does that count as

me talking to other girls?

Yeah, broke up again. Not even a week.

Not even a week.

I thought for sure that was— I mean,

we're going to be good for a while after

She's not replying to my text.

Don't you think I've got a point though?

Because she says she went on a date. How

come she goes on a date and that's okay

and I forgive her, but she catch— she

finds out that I watched explicit videos

of me and my ex and then she storms out

and says she doesn't

know how we can fix this.

I just feel like it's kind of unfair.

Imagine if I went on a date when we were

Maybe you can say all the difference is

she, she didn't do anything with the guy,

but then she saw me do stuff with the ex,

even though that happened 8 years ago.

It's not like it happened last week.

She said she wouldn't block me, but

doesn't mean she's gonna reply, does it?

My washing machine's coming tomorrow

between 7 and 9 a.m.

Oh, you really think I'm going to install

my washing machine?

How'd she find out you watched them when

she only found them in the recycling bin?

Because Because

if they were in the recycling bin, it

would mean that I had them saved recently,

and that meant I probably watched it.

I mean, you could say, oh, it was always

on my laptop since 5 years ago, and then I

only just recently put it in the recycling

bin.

You had them saved, but doesn't mean you

Yeah, kind of too late to come up with

that excuse. Well, she said, why are they

on your computer? And I said,

Well, I was kind of scrambling because I

knew whatever I was going to say next was

not going to sound good.

I just said I saved them onto my computer

a couple of weeks ago.

How does having those videos make you like

her ex? Well, she said her ex did the same

thing and he had a secret stash as well,

which she found,

and it made her hate him.

I don't think it's the Japanese ex. I

don't think she counts that Japanese ex as

like a real ex. She said

it made her feel like she was 19 again,

so I'm guessing this ex thing happened

when she was 19.

Apparently she had a toxic relationship

when she was 19.

This story is pathetic. People are

catching up with your lies.

This is why smart women don't snoop around

on their boyfriend's phone. We all have

some kind of stash. Yeah, I said a

lot of guys have a stash, and then she

said that doesn't make it okay.

I feel like I need to just go home.

I can't do this.

I've never been in a relationship where we

fight every week or 2 weeks. It's insane.

It's actually like destroying my mental

health. I think I feel like my mental

health is just being shredded.

I don't know if I have the guts to like

pull the plug and just go home.

Mainly because I'm like still hanging on

to the hope that it's not over.

Because apart from the times when we're

fighting, she— I feel really happy with

I just don't know.

I, I could literally make more money doing

Uber Eats. Than this job.

This job pays so badly.

The only way to make this job pay good is

if I delivered like 150 parcels a day,

which is insane. You would be delivering

about 6 or 8 hours a day.

The boss, he said I'd be getting 84 pence

per parcel plus the £10 top-up on top of

that. But that's not what I've been

getting.

He was saying, oh, I'm easily making £75 a

day. And then my invoice says I'm making

like £30, £35 a day.

I feel like he just said that to make it

sound better than what it actually is.

God, my life's so shit.

I can't even have a relationship.

I can't even have a happy relationship

even when I'm trying.

I really want this relationship to work,

and it's just not going well.

It's not— it's not because I don't care or

don't love her.

It's like these stupid little mistakes.

You leave stable people for toxic people.

Well, I didn't know.

How do you think Farsa would have reacted

if the same thing happened? If she saw

that I had videos?

Sunny is the type where When

she's upset, she will either block you,

swear at you, shut you out,

and then just storm off and not

be interested in what you have to say or

what your feelings are.

Like, to her, it's irrelevant because

she's upset.

You got to get rid of that stuff. Well, I

did. I didn't have it on any of my

devices. I just had it on my cloud.

And then recently I saved it again onto my

devices. A couple weeks ago when

I thought things were over with Sunny,

and then I deleted it again.

It's ironic how you were explosively angry

with Faster and now Sunny explosively

angry with you. Yeah, I know.

I used to get snappy and I got mad at

When my mum and sister come, maybe I just

go back home with them. They can help me

take some stuff and

take, take the big stuff to the dump.

The sofa. I don't know.

I feel like I just want to go home.

I don't know what to do.

Leaving would be another mistake.

Well, leaving would mean there's no chance

of fixing things.

Because if I left, I can't come back.

There's no way I'd be able to come back.

I'd get into, like, way more debt trying

to come back again.

It would just be way— I've already set

everything up. I can't

destroy it all and then think about coming

If I go home, it's done. I'd have to just

like forget about it and reset.

Why would you go home when you spent all

this time and money on rent and doing your

Because the whole reason of being

here was to be with Sunny.

If it's over and it's truly over, then I

need closure. I can't get closure when she

lives 10 minutes away.

I would need to, like, completely reset my

life. And start fresh.

You already broke up when you decided to

take the house. Well, that was before. I

mean, it was too late to get

out of it because I had already agreed.

And I was kind of excited to move into a

house as well. But I've been here for a

month. It's not really exciting. It's just

constant bills you have to pay.

And to be honest, it was more comfy at my

mum's house. It was warmer.

It was brighter.

I do feel mentally, I feel so much happier

at home in my bedroom. I feel

like I can just not stress and focus on

enjoying YouTube and not like only doing

it for the money because I need the money

so badly. I just feel like I can't enjoy

YouTube because I need

money so badly and I'm just getting

depressed with how little money

I'm making. And it's just like killed my

passion and creativity.

It's killed my ability to at least try and

The reality of real life just crushes

your spirit.

Oh, thanks. Think landlord will fine you

for outlet repair.

Well, Sunny said before she left that I

could probably unscrew— oh, she said let's

do it Tonight, she said let's unscrew it

and see if there's damage behind the

faceplate because you could probably

just get a new one.

Yeah, well, if I don't get the deposit

back— We

told you you had it good there.

Yeah, I know, but then I kept Thinking,

God, I wish I had a girlfriend and a

relationship and a life, like an adult

life, not living

with my mum.

If I just get white paint and I paint over

the socket, Over the brown bits.

Yeah, I just wanted to, you know, be a

normal person, have a girlfriend and a

relationship and a job and a car and a

house and be a normal adult.

And I thought if I can't do it now, then

I'll never be able to do it.

So realistically, how am I gonna do the

hard reset?

Just leave.

I could literally just leave. I feel like

I'm trapped here.

Maybe I just leave. Go back to my mum's

house. Don't tell the landlord,

but carry on paying the rent.

Let's go now. Fuck it.

I don't have the guts to stay. I don't

have the guts to leave. I hate this.

Fucking hate it. Getting dumped

by Sunny every 2 weeks.

Oh my God.

Sleep on it? You think I can sleep?

I'm not even gonna go to work tomorrow.

I can't be bothered. I go to work tomorrow

for what, £30?

Boss ghosted me, I'll ghost him.

I want to be out of this situation. I

don't like it anymore.

I don't want to do this anymore.

My mum and sister are coming in 4 days and

they look— they're looking forward to

having like a little holiday here.

I feel like it's just ghost the job. And

then spend those days with them, and then

maybe I'll just head back home with them.

Can't I just like leave the front door

open, book a moving company, and just tell

them just take— just grab everything, put

in the van, bring it to my house?

Let's do a vote.

Um, poll.

Crazy how all of your debt is tied to

Okay, start poll.

Yeah, I know, the sofa, the bed, the

washing machine, I got it all set up a

Keep it together, you're not thinking

reasonably. I know, I'm like completely

emotional right now.

I can't— it's just like emotional torture.

I can't believe she came over and she just

left like that.

Moving company would be like £400, I

reckon. I go home, sell the car,

£10K, and then I'm only in debt by about

£13K.

I'll just grind YouTube. It'll take 13

months. No more driving.

If I just leave my car here and I'll say

to the landlord, uh, I'm not going to pay

you any more rent, but here's my car.

It's a gift. And I have to go home in my

mum's car.

She's not even replying to me. She said

she's not going to block me, but then she

doesn't reply either. So she just shuts

down. Like, she can't—

you can't talk to her.

She'll just shut— she'll either block you

or ignore you. She'll just shut you out.

I don't understand why she does this.

Like, there's a problem. What was in the

video? Describe it. Was Chihiro beating

you over doggy style? Was she on her back?

Did you shoot your load inside her? We

need some details. Did Chihiro look hot?

Why the hell were you jacking to Tomoko?

Why not?

It's like there's two— there's two

outcomes. You want to fix the problem or

you don't want to fix the problem because

you've given up. So she's probably

like trying to think which

one it is without— she probably doesn't

know what to say to me because she herself

doesn't know.

But the problem is, if I just leave,

if I don't say anything for like a week,

she'll think I don't care because I didn't

follow up, when I'm thinking, but you

weren't replying before, I thought you

needed space. So then I get really

confused and I don't know what to do.

Like, do I keep Messaging her, or do I—

obviously ignoring her and just like

leaving her for days on end doesn't make

it better. But then I can't keep hounding

her like, I said I'm sorry. I said I'm

sorry. Come on, let's fix it. If she

doesn't want to fix it or she doesn't

think we can fix it, then what

even is there to discuss?

But if she's gonna tell me that it is 100%

over, uh, I might

as well just go home. I don't want to be

here. I don't want to— I don't

want to date and like get a Devon

girlfriend. I'd rather just go home.

I don't want to fuck other girls.

I'm not interested in that at all.

Just had a cheeky wank over Tomoko.

Was that so bad?

Yeah, go back home for a little break from

this hell. Go do some Uber

Eats. I probably make more money doing

Uber Eats in a week than I can make doing

this job in a month. I swear to God,

I'd make £80-90 a day doing Uber Eats,

deliver 15 McDonald's. That's like 3 days

of what this job pays.

God, I'd make such good money if I did