Happy birthday to me

It just sounds stupid using code words.

What if I use the word noodles for nudes?

So I'd say,

I had lots of noodles on the SD card, and

then I could put in captions, noodles

equals nudes.

And there's this other thing about

YouTube.

You know, recently there was this kind of

like a scandal of pedos watching kids on

YouTube, and then they'll type in the

comments, they would put a timestamp where

you could see inappropriate scenes of the

kids.

There's a big scandal about it, and

YouTube's

way of fixing it was to demonetize videos

that have inappropriate comments.

And I have a feeling that a lot of people

were typing in the words— I don't even

know if I want to say it, you know, CP

into the comments, because a lot of people

thought I had CP on the SD card.

But I blacklisted that, those word

combinations, so those comments shouldn't

have appeared.

But it's so stupid that people are getting

demonetized because of comments.

It's not even our fault and we're getting

punished because of inappropriate

comments.

Oh, thank you, Mr.

Lowe, for the 5 PLNs.

I'm not sure what that is.

What's, what's a PLN?

PlayStation.

Network.

I don't know.

And it doesn't even fix the problem

because just even if you demonetize a

video, how's that gonna stop pedos from

timestamping in the comments?

What are you supposed to do?

They would just put, oh, hey everyone, go

to 5 minutes 20, she's hot.

Am I supposed to blacklist the words she

and hot?

And it's not going to stop them from

watching the video.

You can't stop them.

They're always going to be there even if

you disable the comments.

What are you going to do?

You're going to ban kids from being in

videos on YouTube?

It's just stupid.

YouTube, they're so dumb.

They come up with, with all these

solutions that don't fix the problem And

then it just ruins it for people like me.

And apparently some people have had their

entire channels' comment sections disabled

because of that, because they had kids in

their videos, and YouTube's solution was

to just disable the comments.

That'll make the pedos go away.

No, it doesn't.

The pedos are still watching, they just

can't comment.

Oh, thank you, John Creel.

Yeah, it's my birthday today.

I just noticed that last year I didn't

even make a video about my birthday

because I was keeping it secret.

I was scared that if people found out my

birthday, then they'll be able to do

something, but I kind of stopped caring.

I don't want to have to disable the

comments on my videos.

The comment section is one, one of the

best bits of my video.

Lots, a lot of people enjoy reading the

comment section,

and I enjoy having the comment section

there.

Hmm, just hope— hopefully they'll, they'll

remonetize it, accept my appeal, but I

have a feeling they'll reject it again

because I guess technically the video was

sexual in nature.

I was just describing what was on an SD

card, that it had nudes on it.

It's not that bad, is it?

And then a lot of people were saying

that they were disappointed.

They thought, um, I was going to say

something a lot worse.

I don't really know what could be worse

than cheating on my wife.

I thought that was pretty bad, but

apparently people don't seem to think it's

a big deal, which I'm not complaining

about.

If people don't think it's a big deal,

then great.

That's great.

I thought people would criticize me more

harshly for it.

Well, technically, at the time when it

happened, she wasn't my wife, she was my

girlfriend.

And I said it happened before the

marriage, not before the relationship.

So we were in a relationship when it

happened, but it seems like a lot of

people got confused.

And thought that it happened before we

met, which isn't true.

I said it happened before the relationship

and it happened in December, and you

should know that I met my wife in

October 2017, so December 2017 we would

have been together.

When are you going back to Japan to get a

new wife?

Um, I've started planning a new Japan

trip.

It's not going to be anytime soon, but my

plan is to go back to Osaka, get a nice

Airbnb.

I'm going to save up money whilst I'm

living in England rent-free, and then I'll

get a nice fancy Airbnb for about £1,000 a

month and then stay there for 3 months and

try and get, get it extended to 6 months

like I did last time.

That's what my plan is.

I'm not sure when that's gonna be.

It might be after summer this year,

or I might go to London.

I'm not sure.

I could do anything now.

I'm not quite sure what I want to do.

I don't really want to go back to a

guesthouse.

Before, I would have gone to a guesthouse

because you could meet girls at the

guesthouse, but the last 4 times I've been

to a guesthouse I haven't managed to find

a single girl to have sex with in a guest

house.

I just end up sitting there like a loner,

not being able to make friends with

anyone, moaning because there's too many

Asian people.

Why Osaka again?

Because the immigration center is in

Osaka, which is where I need to go to get

my visa extended.

Also, um, in Osaka, if you, uh, pay money,

you can get you know what.

And I don't know where else in Japan you

can get that service.

I'm sure in other cities you can get it,

but I'm used to the one in Osaka.

You can get pre-made Jaffa Cakes

in Osaka, and I know just the place.

So, um, yeah.

Well, there was a red light district in

Oita.

You know, last time I ran away from my

wife, uh, I went to Oita, which is where

my ex— me and my ex-girlfriend used to

live.

And I was just walking around.

I didn't even know this place existed.

There was a red light district, and it was

really shady looking.

It was this kind of bright-looking street,

but there were all these men standing

outside of shops, and I walked down the

street and they kept trying to get me to

come into the shops.

You have the best comment section on

YouTube.

Oh, thank you.

I know, but now I have to start censoring

the comment section because if I don't,

I'm gonna get demonetized.

If people keep writing stuff in the

comments like child porn and pedo and

loli, I'm gonna get demonetized, aren't I?

So now I have to add all that stuff like

cream pie ejaculation.

I have to add all that to my blacklist,

otherwise I'm not gonna make any money and

I'll have to start begging.

Oh, Crab Milk, thank you for the birthday

wishes.

So now YouTube are forcing me to censor

you guys after YouTube have forced me,

forced me to censor myself.

We're all stuck in this, this vicious

cycle of censorship now.

No one can say anything they want to say

unless they want to get demonetized.

I bet you anything this livestream is

going to get demonetized.

I'd like to keep this stream up because,

you know, it's a special event.

It's not just one of those random rambling

streams.

It's a special event.

I want to keep it up, and I would like to

put ads on it.

Put 1,000 ads on it before it gets

demonetized.

I ended up deleting my how to get laid

video because if it's demonetized, then

what's the point of leaving it up when

it's demonetized?

Demonetized videos don't get suggested or

pushed out to people.

They get hidden.

So it's not like it's going to get many

views, and if it's not making money, then

what's the point of having it up?

And then I got suspended on Twitter for 12

hours because I made a joke.

I said I would livestream my

I said I'd livestream my suicide for a

million dollars, and then I got a warning

and then a 12-hour suspension, and then

they gave me some links to suicide help

websites.

It was just a joke.

I'm not seriously gonna livestream my

suicide for a million dollars, am I?

They're so stupid.

All these social media websites are just

becoming more and more ridiculous.

Twitter, YouTube.

YouTube is becoming so left-wing radical.

It's not just YouTube, it's like the whole

internet is becoming left-wing radical.

Can't even make jokes now and you get

banned and suspended and demonetized, and

one Scottish guy gets arrested.

Didn't he have to plead guilty in court

because he made a joke?

And then you get these idiots and they say

stuff like, oh, I don't think it was a

joke.

I don't think Count Dankula is a comedian.

I disagree that he was making a joke.

How dumb do you have to be to not realize

that it was a joke?

Oh, I swear people are getting more and

more stupid.

I watched that interview with Jordan

Peterson and this woman, GQ something, and

then she says, I don't think Count Dankura

is a comedian,

when he does— he does stand-up and he does

jokes and stuff.

How is he not a comedian?

How could you not think someone called

Count Dankura is not a comedian?

She's so dumb.

She thinks she's so clever as well, and

she's not.

So annoying, all of this stuff.

Maybe I should listen to Jordan Peterson.

I bought his book, 12 Rules of Life.

It's really hard to read.

I'm on chapter— which chapter am I on?

Chapter 4.

But I don't really know what he's on about

most of the time.

One bit was about standing up straight

with your shoulders back, and then he goes

on about lobsters.

And then he started talking about Adam and

Eve

and the having to bear the burden of

existence or something.

I just— I start reading it and I don't

know what, what he's talking about.

I have to read the same page multiple

times.

I still don't get it.

I bought some stuff on Amazon.

Oh, someone sent me weird things.

Someone sent me something strange

and they addressed— they sent one to my

sister as well.

Miss Sabrina Will Bang Lord.

Who sent that?

And they sent my sister,

um, how to lose weight brochures.

It was quite funny though.

Miss Sabrina Will Bang Lord.

And then they sent me one, and it's

addressed to Professor Daniel Sex God L.

My uncle opened the door and had to

receive this.

Can you imagine how embarrassed he must

have felt when the postman came and said,

are you Professor Daniel Sexgodlord?

And they sent me this,

this British Heart Foundation kit.

And there's all these booklets about,

about your heart, keeping your heart

healthy.

And there's also a USB stick which I

haven't plugged in.

Look,

there was a USB stick in it as well,

and I haven't plugged it into my computer

because I'm a bit scared.

I guess I can, I can burn it, put it in

the fireplace, so Thanks, I guess.

Did you get all that toilet paper for your

birthday?

No, I got it a few weeks ago.

It cost £15.

I think it's quite cost-effective.

And I bought a bunch of stuff for myself

from Amazon, just, you know, to treat

myself.

I thought we could unbox it together.

So now I have to be really careful what I

talk about.

I can't talk about anything sexual.

I thought the SD card video would be safe

because it's not really that sexual, just

saying you got some— you have some nudes

on it.

Didn't think that would get you

demonetized.

But my last 2 videos that were sex-related

got demonetized,

which is strange because I have another

couple videos called How I Became a Sex

Addict and Marriage Update: My Sex Life Is

Over.

They're both monetized,

and in those videos I think I said the

word sex.

I might have.

I just don't understand YouTube.

It's just so inconsistent.

How come my sex addiction video is okay,

but my video about how to have— how to get

laid was not okay?

I don't understand it.

Okay, so I got this, um, I got a new

messenger bag because I left my one in

Japan.

And I'm planning a trip to London to meet

someone.

Wink wink.

And I needed a little messenger bag to put

stuff in, like my battery charger, my

second phone, my wallet, maybe, um, a

change of underwear.

It's not expensive.

I don't even know if it's good.

It looks kind of big already.

Maybe it's too big.

It's hard to tell when you buy bags off

Amazon.

You don't know if it's gonna be nice.

I don't know if I can talk about this girl

because she watches my channel.

And she might not be happy if I

talk about her.

I don't know.

John Creel, thank you.

That's one thing I like about Japan.

They're not so sensitive about being

politically correct.

Hmm, yeah, I like the way they're not so

sensitive about sex.

You just walk into any shop and there's

porno mags all over the place.

If it's a girl who watches my channel,

then she should already know what kind of

person I am, and I guess she should

know what to expect.

I'm not saying that I'm gonna say horrible

things about her because,

look, I only say horrible things about

girls if I know that they aren't watching.

If I know that they're watching, then I

won't say horrible things to upset them

purposefully.

I'm not a complete jerk.

Look, it's quite a nice bag.

What do you think?

You need to get your laptop from Japan.

My laptop.

I would like my laptop back actually,

because if I go traveling,

um, I want to play Rainbow Six.

I'm not going to go out dating every

single day.

I'm going to be home most of the time.

I can't just be sitting there watching

YouTube.

I need something to do whilst I watch

YouTube.

And the only game I like playing is

Rainbow Six, unfortunately.

If I enjoyed Switch games, I could just

bring my Switch and that would be it, but

the only game I like on Switch is Mario

Kart, but I got tired of that and nothing

else on Switch interests me.

So I might have to buy a new laptop, which

is going to cost £1,000.

Well, I could go back to my wife and pick

up my stuff.

I don't really want to see her again,

really.

It's just going to be awkward.

If I could avoid it, I'd prefer not to see

my wife again.

You know, I just want to move on and

forget about it.

And then she might ask me for money, and

if she's going to ask me for money, I

might as well just let her keep the laptop

and say, look, you can sell the laptop.

It's worth quite a lot.

And then I'll just go and buy a new

laptop.

Get her to ship it.

Do you know how expensive that would be?

I think it would be about $30 to ship it.

It's really heavy.

It's a big 15-inch gaming laptop.

This is my new bag.

I look very stylish.

Why is the strap so short?

It's a bit high up, isn't it?

Why is the strap so short?

Let me readjust the strap.

Why would my wife ask me for money?

Because I don't know, she might blame me

for the divorce, and,

and, you know, she needs money to move out

of the apartment.

She'll have to pay for moving people,

she'll have to pay to to cancel the

contract of the apartment,

and she might want me to pay for that

since it was basically my fault that the

relationship ended.

She hasn't asked me for money yet.

I already gave her £1,000 before she left,

and the £1,000 is 2, 4, 6, 8— that's 5

months of rent.

I usually gave her about £200 a month, so

£1,000 would last 5 months.

Possibly out of laziness.

But I could get a better new laptop.

Oh, but it's a nice laptop, and it's not

just my laptop.

I had a gaming mouse which cost $100.

It was a good mouse.

I had a Blue Yeti snowball mic which cost

about $100.

I have my iPad Pro which cost me £900 back

in 2016.

Oh, thank you Andy, you are a good person,

peace be to you.

That's so kind.

And I had my black messenger bag that my

dad gave me.

For the first time I went to Japan.

Oh, there we go.

Look at this.

What do you think?

I think it looks nice.

It's not too fancy.

I like, I like plain designs.

And then I can just open it like this.

Take out— take stuff out.

I think it's a nice-looking bag.

Only cost £15 as well.

Good value.

Was probably made in a sweatshop in India

by kids.

So yeah, I've left behind a $100 gaming

mouse, $100 Snowball Blue Yeti mic,

$2,000— it was actually $1,800 gaming

laptop, £900 iPad Pro,

all of my clothing, my shirts.

I don't really care about that.

And then I have this box.

Oh, thank you, Wabbit Season.

I'm not gonna go all the way back just to

get my stuff.

It'll be so depressing

going back to that apartment.

And you know, I can always make the money

back.

Money isn't a finite resource.

I can always make more money.

I forgot what I bought now.

I bought a bunch of stuff on Amazon.

I hope it's not those condoms.

Am I going to live in England from now on?

Um, I don't know.

I'm still going to travel.

I want to go to maybe Thailand and

Japan.

I'm definitely going to go back to Japan.

It'd be stupid not to, you know, after

I've learned all these tricks and I've

learned how to extend my visa and I've

learned about Tobita Shinchi and I've— and

I can afford to stay in a nice Airbnb now,

especially if I'm living rent-free now and

I just save up my money.

I can afford to,

to live in a nicer place.

Okay, so what did I get?

I got a HDMI switcher.

That's boring.

I want, I want to plug in my second

monitor, so I bought an HDMI switcher

because my graphics card only has one HDMI

port.

Well, I thought I bought interesting

stuff, but I don't think I did.

Oh, thank you, Carl Maven, for the $12.

Very generous.

Am I happy I'm single again?

You know, I am actually.

I'm pretty happy.

It all worked out very well.

I didn't want to go back, to tell the

truth.

Before the whole SD card thing happened, I

was thinking about How can I tell my wife

that I don't really want to go back to

Japan?

I want to stay here.

This is so convenient, wasn't it?

Gave me a great reason to finally break up

with her.

Why have you not named this birthday

stream?

I did.

Oh shit, it's not— it's called Streaming

Live from My GoPro.

Oh, for God's sake.

How come no one told me?

Why is it titled streaming live from my

GoPro?

It was supposed to be birthday stream.

No, it was supposed to be happy birthday

to me.

I've been streaming For all this time and

no one told me.

Oh, thank you, B Annie, for the PLNs.

I

had no idea it said— because I was doing a

test stream on my GoPro earlier to see if

it was good or not, and then that must

have automatically changed it.

But then I changed it back to happy

birthday to me.

Now the whole stream's ruined.

Let me check, it should be updated.

Yeah, it says happy birthday to me.

Oh, it got demonetized.

I hate that yellow dollar sign.

I have this perfect

line of green dollar signs, everything's

monetized, and then I have this one stain

yellow.

I hate that color now.

Do sponsors contact you to do videos for

money?

They used to, but then they stopped.

I'm not sure why.

Maybe it's because I told everyone that I,

I got paid $500 to sponsor, and then I

took the video down after they paid me.

I'm not very reliable.

Okay,

what else did I get?

Let me see.

Oh, Chrollo.

Thank you.

Daniel, you are the quintessential product

of modernity.

I don't know how to pronounce that.

The rootless, atomized individual looking

for identity.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks.

Why do you ignore me?

I'm seriously interested in meeting you.

I don't know who you are.

Send me a message.

Oh, I got a head strap for my GoPro.

I forgot.

Be quite funny if I did a vlog using this,

wouldn't it?

Should I put it on?

It looks like a G-string.

It's not a G-string, it's a head strap for

the GoPro.

I swear it looks like a, a G-string,

doesn't it?

I might try it on later as a G-string, see

what it feels like.

How do you put it on?

Let me try.

I should get a second GoPro and I'll put

one on my chest and one on my head.

My auntie and uncle didn't even wish me a

happy birthday.

My mum wrote an angry message on the

fridge.

It says, happy birthday, Daniel, and then

it said something like, please clean the

house.

You're staying here for free, so do some

cleaning.

I'm not cooking dinner tonight.

And then my uncle and auntie spent the

entire day cleaning out of fear.

I decided to do the stream now because

they just popped out to go shopping, and

it's just so much easier to stream when

there's no one in the house.

I don't feel as awkward.

If they were still here, I'd be speaking

very quietly, but now I, I feel more

relaxed.

So this goes here,

and then this screws in this hole.

What would you do if your wife tried to

sexually assault you when you go get your

laptop by jumping on you naked?

Um, probably have sex with her, and then

we'd probably get back together.

That's one of the reasons why I don't want

to see her again, because we might meet up

again, then

cancel the divorce and just carry on as

usual.

That's what used to happen.

We'd have a big fight and then we'd just

have sex and everything was back to

normal.

Oh, my hair's getting in the way.

Wow, I look like a complete idiot.

Why did I buy this?

That's so stupid.

Yeah, I don't think I'm ever going to use

this.

Well, that was a waste of money.

How could I use this?

It looks stupid.

It only costs about £6, so it's okay.

I don't think I'm ever gonna use that

actually.

It's made me look really dumb.

Now it's messed my hair up as well.

And I also bought this

cake.

I thought I'd get myself a cake since it's

my birthday.

I could do cooking with Daniel using the

head strap,

and then you have a first-person view, but

I could have just used the chest strap.

It's a pretty big cake.

It's a Highland whisky cake

from Glenfiddich.

That's a big cake.

I didn't think it would be so big.

It has whiskey.

I think it has whiskey in it.

I have so much junk all over the place

now.

I think the bag was good, uh, the head

strap

Bit of a waste.

It's a whiskey cake.

Isn't it cool you can get cake on Amazon?

It just smells like a fruitcake.

Look at that, it's massive.

How do you feel about being half part

Asian?

Do you have plans to visit Hawaii?

No, I, I don't have any plans to visit

Hawaii, but thanks.

Um, I don't really know how to feel about

being part Asian.

It's all right, I guess.

What does your mom think about the

divorce?

She doesn't really care.

She said she doesn't really like my wife

anyway.

Oh, thanks, Andy.

Happa, part Asian.

Do you have plans to visit Hawaii ever?

Thank you for the $50.

Very generous.

I'll give you some cake.

I don't like the word happa.

It sounds silly.

Why don't you just say half Asian?

Happa.

It just sounds weird.

Dude, you are effing 30.

What is wrong with you?

Why did you hide in your room?

You want to be a virgin the rest of your

life?

I'm not a virgin.

I've slept with 21 different women, if you

would like to know.

This is gonna make a mess.

Look, it's so crumbly.

I need a spoon.

He keeps count.

Of course I keep count.

I remember each and every one of them.

This knife is a bit dangerous.

Maybe I should go and get a spoon.

When I bite into it, it's just gonna

crumble everywhere.

Why do I keep count?

Why not?

Look, I wrote a list.

Where is it?

Where's my list?

I lost it.

Oh, I think I wrote it on my phone.

Yeah, I wrote it on my phone.

Um, notes.

Yeah, here it is.

I don't know if I can show you because I

wrote their names down.

There's my list.

It's all out of focus anyway.

That's my list I have.

I don't know if I should read it out.

Okay, there's Sayuri, Hyunsoo, Mei, Kaede,

Miki, Ayaka, Tomoko, half-Japanese girl,

fat Japanese girl, Ferris wheel girl.

I don't know if I should say that woman's

name.

Um, and then there's a bunch of other

ones.

I don't know if I feel comfortable telling

you about this yet.

I forgot the names of some of them, so I

just described them from what they look

like.

There were about 4 fat Japanese girls.

I forgot their names.

I'm gonna get a spoon.

Acknowledge Andy's donation, you coward.

My legs are so painful today.

I don't know why.

I was playing too much football.

I went outside and I played football for

about an hour by myself.

Now my legs, my legs are so painful.

I did 27, 27 keep-me-ups in a row.

That's pretty good.

Eat my cake now.

Just tastes like a fruitcake.

I missed the donation.

Which one?

Acknowledge Andy's donation.

I did.

I said thank you, Andy,

and then I said I'd share my cake with

him.

I should get a girlfriend in England.

If I got a girlfriend in England, I won't

be able to go back to Japan.

But then we could go to Japan together.

That would be fun.

I can take her to all the sights.

That I used to take my exes to.

Oh, I don't like this nut.

There's Brazil nuts in it.

How does it feel to be 30?

I feel exactly the same.

I feel the same.

As I've always felt since I was 16.

I don't really feel any different since I

was 16.

I still feel like I am 16.

When you working at the petrol station

again?

Oh, thank you, Tim.

Um, never.

The Nepalese guy still working at the

petrol station.

I just find that so funny.

I thought he would get a new job because

they shut down the petrol station for

about 6 weeks to do renovations, so I

thought he would get a new job instead of

waiting 6 weeks, but he waited 6 weeks and

then got his old job back.

He must really like it there.

I saw his car.

Should I go and slash his tires and make a

video about it?

No, I'd never do that.

I'm a decent, nice human being.

I hated him so much.

Always looked down on me.

Thought he was better than me.

Made fun of me all the time, told me what

to do

when he's not even my boss.

Do I have friends?

I don't have any friends.

You guys are my friends.

My last friend was James, the Canadian

guy,

and I had his contact details on Line, but

then I got banned on Line, and then I

couldn't find his contact details ever

again, and he never made any effort to

contact me.

And then I thought me and Chris Broad were

gonna be friends.

I thought we're gonna go for a beer and

talk about our school, talk about being a

YouTuber, and then he ghosted me as well.

And he didn't even send me a message after

I made the video apologizing or saying

anything.

Do I know his last name?

I think it was Mackenzie.

James Mackenzie.

But it's, it's fine.

It's over between us.

He obviously doesn't want to be my friend.

He probably has 500 other friends.

I don't want to be friends with someone

who has 500 other friends.

I don't want to just be another one of his

500 friends.

I want to feel special.

That's why I wasn't, wasn't really

bothered about Chris, because he looks

like the kind of guy who has 1,000 friends

in every city, and I don't want to just be

another one of those.

I don't want to have to compete against

all of his other friends.

I want to be friends with someone who

doesn't have any friends,

and I want to be friends with a hot girl,

and then she could possibly fall in love

with me.

Don't really want friends.

I don't really see the point of having a

friend.

What would we do

if I had a friend?

What would we do?

I'm not a child anymore.

When I was 15, I used to have friends

because we'd play video games together and

we'd go sledging and we'd ride our

bicycles around.

I'm not interested in doing that now.

All I like to do is play Rainbow Six and

do livestreams.

And make videos.

I don't need a friend to do that.

I can play online with a bunch of

strangers.

I think having friends It's overrated.

It's not as important as everyone thinks

it is.

And then if I had a friend, I wouldn't

have as much time to do things I want to

do, like streaming or making videos.

They'd keep bothering me.

We just end up sitting around Drinking,

talking about stuff.

I can talk about stuff all by myself.

I feel sick.

Oh, this cake

doesn't taste like whiskey at all.

It says whiskey cake, but I can't taste

any whiskey.

I had a friend in Japan who was a Japanese

guy.

We went for a drink together in 2017 when

I went to see the single mother

girlfriend.

I quite liked him.

He was funny.

He would go up to random girls on the

street and try and ask them out, and then

he'd get rejected.

He was married and he had a kid, but he

separated with his wife and he moved back

in with his parents, and he's 40 years

old.

He said he has depression.

He watches my videos.

Maybe I shouldn't be talking about him.

Didn't say anything bad.

I liked him.

That's gonna be me in 10 years' time,

but I'm not married.

Well, I won't be married anymore,

and I don't have any kids.

Who wants to make babies with me?

I'll pay you £200 a month to look after

it,

and I won't be around.

Do I miss Chihiro?

I do miss her a little bit sometimes.

It's hard— it's hard not to miss someone

that you've lived with for for over a

year.

We lived together since November 2017,

so it's nearly a year and a half.

No, it's a year and a couple of months.

So we lived together for quite a long

time.

It's a bit strange to be alone again.

What do I miss about her?

I just miss things like hugging,

eating together,

watching TV together, going shopping

together, stuff like that.

I liked it when she was here and I had to

make breakfast for her and I had to make

coffee.

I felt like I had some kind of

responsibility.

I don't really miss the sex, to be honest.

I was, I was bored of the sex.

Sometimes it was better than other times,

but then sometimes I had no interest in

having sex with her.

Last time we had sex was pretty good, in

the hotel before she left.

But maybe the reason why— maybe the reason

why it was so good was because I kind of

knew that that was going to be the last

time.

Even before she found out about the SD

card, I kind of already wanted to end

things.

I couldn't imagine going back to Japan and

going back to that lifestyle after

everything with my dad.

It would just be weird.

Last time I was in Japan, my dad was

alive.

Last time I was in the apartment, my dad

was alive.

Last time I used that laptop, my dad was

alive.

It's just too sad.

I kind of like being here at home.

I feel like I'm closer to my dad when I'm

back home.

So you left the SD there for a purpose?

I didn't.

I honestly completely forgot about the SD

card and And I had no idea that she would

look at it.

I didn't even imagine she would find it

and look at it.

But it all worked out pretty well in the

end, don't you think?

I wanted to get out of the relationship.

And without the SD card, it would have

meant that I would have had to break up

with her.

I would have had to have told her I wanted

to get divorced.

It makes it easier for me if she wants to

divorce me.

It makes me feel less guilty.

If she didn't want to get divorced and she

was all sad, then I'd feel really guilty

and I wouldn't be able to break up with

her just out of guilt.

Oh, thank you, TJ Music.

Happy birthday, hope everything works out.

Yeah, I hope so too.

I think— I think it was supposed to

happen.

It was a sign from the universe.

My dad dying

happened for a reason.

If I don't take advantage of that reason,

then it would be a waste of him dying.

I just found it very difficult to, to tell

her that I wanted to break up.

I just felt too guilty about it.

That's why every time I ran away to a

hotel, I always ended up going back to her

because

I felt sad for her and I felt lonely.

But if she hates me now and she wants to

get divorced, then it just makes it a lot

easier for me.

I think that's a good tactic.

If you want to break up with someone and

you don't have the guts to do it, just

make them hate you and then make them want

to break up with you, and you don't have

to do it.

Won't getting divorced be expensive and

take up lots of time?

I don't think it's expensive.

You just get some documents and then you

sign it and then you send it back.

I don't see why it would be expensive.

I'm not sure.

I've never gotten divorced before, so this

could be an interesting experience.

Everyone keeps saying, oh, it's a big

legal battle and you're gonna be— you're

You're gonna have to pay lots of money and

she's gonna want half of your stuff.

I don't own any stuff

and she already has half of my stuff.

She has my laptop, my iPad, my clothing.

That's all I have.

I don't have any assets.

I don't have a car.

I don't have any property.

I don't own this house.

My mum owns it.

Some idiots on some forum were saying, oh,

Daniel's gonna have to give half of his

inheritance.

Rubbish.

And she already has her experience getting

divorced, and she said last time she got

divorced, they just signed a piece of

paper and it was done.

Simple, easy peasy.

Getting divorced is easy if there's no

disagreements.

If both sides agree to it and they're not

fighting over money, then it's pretty

straightforward.

I'm gonna be a divorcee.

Isn't that funny?

Daniel the divorcee.

Divorce boy.

I don't know why I find something about

being a divorcee kind of funny, because in

society everyone thinks of being divorced

as— they think of you as a failure.

Oh, he got divorced, what a failure.

Oh, thank you, Carl, for the $1.

Daniel the divorcee.

I think it's funny.

I might buy an axe so I can do bushcraft,

and I might get one of those

metal rods that make fire.

It didn't really feel like a proper

marriage though, because we didn't have a

proper wedding.

We just signed a paper and went to

McDonald's,

and then her family didn't even know we

were married for half of it.

She didn't even change her name to my

name.

We weren't wearing rings.

Uh, we didn't have joint property or

anything.

It just felt like we were girlfriend and

boyfriend.

It just went on as, as usual.

Brother Lorne, what's your favorite kind

of cereal?

I like Weetabix and

Cheerios and Coco Pops.

They're pretty good.

What's your favorite kind of cereal?

Why did you get married?

Because at the time,

at the time I thought it'd be a good idea

to get married because it seemed better

than having to come home and live with my

mum and dad.

I thought it'd be better if I lived in

Japan, had my own life in Japan, had a

wife,

had independence.

I was getting fed up of having to come

home and then live with my mum and dad and

feel like a kid.

I felt as though my life wasn't going

anywhere, so at the time I thought getting

married was a pretty good idea.

But then, as time went on, I just felt

more and more trapped.

Oh, thank you, Top Lists.

In recognition of your birthday.

By the way, the feeler advice losers in

your community will never donate like

this.

Keep on hating society and don't change.

Oh, that's so kind.

Thank you.

And Henry, thank you for the pot noodle

money.

I need to buy some more, actually.

I need to start saving for my next trip.

Where should we go?