got some cool new things

Audio sounds bad.

Yeah, give me a second because I bought a

new microphone.

I'm gonna unbox it now.

Then we'll have audio.

We'll have good audio.

Look

what

I got.

It's a road.

Stupid police, shut up.

Okay, give me a second to unbox my new

mic.

And I also got something else which is

pretty funny.

I'll show you in a minute.

Jesus, look how many boxes are in there.

So many boxes.

Wow,

look at that.

Wow, it's so heavy.

Whoa,

whoa, it's magnetic.

That's weird.

It's like a magnet thing.

Fucking hell.

Fuck, I keep dropping it.

What is this?

Okay, I'm gonna plug it in,

see if it sounds any good.

If it sounds rubbish, I'm gonna

Not myself.

Where's the sound coming from?

Testing.

Hello, can you hear me?

Testing.

Hello.

Oh look, I can take it off the stand.

I could be like this.

Hello.

Okay, let me see if it sounds any good.

Okay, let me see if it sounds any good.

Oh wow, it sounds really good.

Okay, let me see if it sounds any good.

Oh wow, it sounds really good.

Hello, do you like the sound quality?

Testing.

Okay, let me see if it sounds any good.

Oh wow, it sounds really good.

Hello.

Do you like the sound quality?

Testing.

Oh wow, it sounds really good!

Hello, do you like the sound quality?

Yay, it sounds good!

Finally we got good audio now.

So where should I put this?

How far away should it be from my mouth?

Look, I can go over here.

The wire's not that long.

Look, I can go all the way over here and

you can still hear me.

Hello, welcome.

Finally, my Twitch stream looks good and

sounds good.

Professional streamer.

Is it USB-C?

Yes, it is.

Pimples clearing up?

Yep, starting to fade away.

I feel so much better when I don't have

bloody pimples.

Still got this one that's a bit visible.

Ah, I went outside and went shopping and I

didn't feel gross.

And I had one human interaction.

The guy at reception said hello to me.

He said, hello, Daniel.

And I said hello back.

That's my only human interaction in 10

days.

I haven't been outside in about 10 days

now because I got Huel and I found out if

you make pasta it lasts a very long time.

So now I only have to go to Aldi like once

every 10 days, which kind of sucks.

It means I just end up staying inside

every day

for like 2 weeks.

I don't know, I go outside, I feel kind of

sad and depressed.

I see all these young cute girls walking

about having a good time.

I just want a young cute girl I can take

out to like a Korean restaurant.

Got no one to go with.

I found one nice Korean restaurant nearby.

I just love a cute slim girl to take out

to dinner.

That'd be nice.

And stream the whole thing.

Okay, so my mic, I want it a bit higher

like this.

If it's on the table, it's a bit low.

Do you think it sounds good?

It's better than the little clip-on one,

isn't it?

Say yes.

Say yes.

Maybe I'll put it on my coffee.

Or I could get like a mic stand, but

they're pretty expensive.

I don't want a mic stand.

I could get like one of those boom arm

things that attach, clamp onto a surface,

and it's like super

spring-loaded.

It's cold in here.

Okay, then my second new toy that I

bought— did some retail therapy.

I'll show you in a minute.

So you know back home I had the pipe vape?

Well, I got a new vape.

It's not a pipe, but it's pretty funny.

It's not like a boring normal vape, it's

an interesting vape.

Get a webcam, but this cam seems good, I

think.

No human interaction for 10 days, I

thought I was bad.

That's not healthy.

Yeah, I know.

I don't know what to do though.

I don't know how to meet people.

I can't get any dates.

No viewers want to meet up.

I think another viewer blocked me.

There was another girl in Manchester we

used to chat, and I was scrolling down my

Instagram DMs and her image, her profile

picture, has gone to like the default

image now.

I don't know if she either blocked me or

She deleted her Instagram, which I don't

think she did.

And then I think another girl blocked me

on WhatsApp that I matched on Bumble.

Her face, her image also went blank.

So I got double blocked again.

Where's my Blue Yeti mic?

It's at home.

This mic's way better.

It sounds good and it's really small.

And I'm paying for it in installments.

It's actually an £80 mic, but I chose 5

months, so it's going to cost me like £15

a month, which is nice to spread the cost

out.

Nice to spread the cost out.

Hopefully, hopefully I don't know what I

was going to say.

The Blue Yeti was just so big and heavy.

This is way easier to carry, but my bag's

going to be so heavy now if I travel.

I've got a 2.7 kg laptop with a power

brick, plus this.

This is quite heavy actually.

It's not a light microphone.

It's all metal.

I don't know if you can do ASMR on it.

Oh wait, there's a speaker on the other

side.

I don't know if you can like adjust the

settings.

No, I don't really see any adjustments.

The Blue Yeti had all different sound

settings for the direction of the sound.

How long am I gonna stay in Japan when I

go?

Well, as long as I can.

6 months.

And then I'd probably look into getting a

student visa

when they go back to normal.

How do I raise the mic?

I put it on my coffee— my coffee jug.

So yeah, I think I'm quite happy with my

stream setup, ready for my YouTube debut.

I have to do the testing on Twitch first

to get stuff sorted out.

There's so many cute Asian girls outside

in Manchester, but they're always with an

Asian guy.

They're always with a Chinese guy, or

they're pushing a buggy with a baby.

But they look so young and attractive.

I don't get it.

How are they like mums already?

Why are they always with a Chinese guy?

It's hard.

There's a lot of Asian girls outside, but

they're always not alone.

Otherwise, I'd be like, hey baby, what's

your number?

Not really.

As if.

They have such nice-looking necks.

There's such a big difference between

English girls and the Asian Chinese girls

in terms of looks.

Chinese girls have such nice straight

hair.

I like it when they got the hair up and

you can see the back of their necks.

Looks so nice to smell.

The students from China.

Why are there so many Chinese girls here?

I don't get it.

And when I go outside and exit the

building, I always walk past like a load

of Asian people.

I bet they live here because this building

is like the most Chinese-looking building

in the whole city.

All the other buildings look like made out

of brick from 200 years ago.

But how do they— why are they here?

How do they stay here?

I guess they have student visas, maybe.

How come they don't have to go back to

China because of like lockdown and stuff?

I don't get it.

Okay, what else do I need to do?

Very expensive stream setup.

£1,800 laptop.

85-pound microphone, 20-pound shit webcam.

This distorts things so weirdly.

This can be like my secondary A secondary

camera.

I don't know how to use this camera.

What can I do with this camera that would

be funny or interesting?

How am I doing lately?

I don't know, I feel a bit better, I

guess.

The last few days I've just been kind of

obsessing over what my life used to be

like in Japan.

It's just kind of sad to look back at the

last few years and just look at my life

now.

It's just so empty and boring.

I thought about going back home in

January.

I thought getting my own place might help

attract a girl.

Like, a viewer might see me in my own

place and go, oh look, Daniel's got his

own place, and then maybe that would make

me more attractive.

But just as, as I always kept saying,

Girls don't give a fuck if you live with

your mum or not.

But I kept saying, I don't see the point

of moving out.

It— there's not really many benefits to

living alone.

But I'm living alone now and people still

don't give a fuck and they still think I'm

a loser.

So even if I won the lottery and became a

billionaire, these stupid idiots still

think I'm a loser.

So I don't really see the point of living

alone, really.

I'm not really seeing any benefits from it

apart from, yeah, I got all the freedom

and independence I want.

I don't know how stressful things would be

if I went back home.

Maybe it'd just be like the same as

before.

I don't know if it's worth it.

I'm just— I'm paying a lot of money.

Every month to live like this,

and

I don't know if it's worth it, really.

What do you mean I technically don't have

my own place?

I could live here as long as I want to, as

long as the landlord wants to rent it out.

I could live here for years if I really

wanted to, as long as the landlord wanted

to rent it and didn't want to like sell it

or something.

You don't have to own a place to be able

to call it a home, or like a long-term

home.

I don't get this thing people keep going

on about, oh, you're only renting it.

Yeah, so people rent stuff for years or

decades even, and then if they can no

longer rent it, then they find a new place

to rent, don't they?

It's not like, oh, like, my landlord is

gonna sell the place, I'm gonna go

homeless.

No, you just look for a new place then,

don't you?

What's, what's the difference?

I don't know what to do.

It's just life is kind of boring like

this,

but I don't know what else to do.

Subreddit gave you shit because you had to

prepay the 6-month lease.

Yeah, because I don't have like a proper

job and proof of income.

So also, I don't make enough money to be

able to rent the place without paying

upfront.

In order to pay rent every month like a

normal person, you have to make like

¥30,000 a year.

I said I don't make ¥30,000 a year, so

they said, well, you could pay all the

rent upfront.

So

they get a guarantee on the rent.

I think it's stupid.

Why would you have to make 30K a year just

to live here?

I don't make 30K.

And then some people have savings, you

know.

There was no other way to, to get a place

without having like a proper job with

an annual salary of $30K.

So I thought I, I came to a pretty good

solution to get a place.

But anyway, I don't know about living

here.

At least if I was at home, I'd be saving

so much money.

Plus I've got like big garden, got

animals, cats, more space.

But then it's just kind of annoying with

all the people coming around.

I might go to— I don't know, in January

next year I might go try Greece and

Germany, and then if nothing happens there

I might just go home.

Because by then surely Japan's gonna

reopen soon, so I wouldn't have to stay at

home for too long.

Some people are saying Japan might open

late 2021.

If you, if you Google search when will

Japan reopen,

the main thing that comes up at the top is

is— oh, it's different on my phone.

Well, they said something about late 2021

because Japan, Japan's economy

relies so much on tourism, they can't

afford to not let tourists in for much

longer.

Do I have my vaccination?

I might get that sorted soon.

I might book my appointment.

Might think about booking it.

Which vaccine would I get?

I don't know, maybe the Pfizer one.

I just don't really feel very motivated to

get the vaccine because I'm not meeting

anyone.

I've got no plans to go anywhere.

But if I need to get the vaccine to go to

Japan, then I will.

Most of the European countries, they just

want you to have a negative PCR test or

double vaccinated.

And my sister traveled around, she just

got the PCR tests.

Test results to prove you got no virus.

I heard a batch of vaccines in Japan got,

got disapproved because it had like weird

stuff in it.

What is it?

Is my webcam like flickering for anyone?

Okay, I'm gonna unbox my vape.

I'd like to get a light as well for when

it gets a bit darker, but I don't want to

keep buying so much stuff.

It's gonna be a pain when I move out.

It's really depressing going outside on

Friday afternoon.

Everyone's all like with people going out

somewhere, gonna have fun, and then I— it

just makes me feel shit.

This reminds me, at least when I had

Jahira or Mila, I felt like I was with

someone.

Their blood sucks.

Whoa, there's loads of— there's loads of

police bikes outside.

Police motorbikes.

I think there's like a gay pride thing

going on.

Manchester Pride celebration.

You're gonna laugh so much when you see my

new vape.

It's so funny.

I wonder if it's any good.

Can you guess what kind of vape I got?

Oh, can you shut up about the mirroring of

the image?

All my videos, all my streams have always

been mirrored.

Why are you going on and on about it now

after like 4 years?

I like it mirrored because this is what

I'm used to seeing when I look in the

mirror.

When it's flipped, it just looks weird.

It's like your face looks very different.

I don't know why the webcam is flickering.

Didn't used to do this.

Shut up about being jealous.

You shut up, fucking idiot.

Banned.

Me shut up.

How do I ban people?

Add friend, gift a sub.

How do I ban?

Oh, Kerry banned them.

Telling me to shut up?

Why don't you shut up, idiot?

That'll teach them.

How dare you tell me to stop expressing my

feelings.

Idiot.

Okay, look at my new vape.

Okay, can you guess what vape it is?

It looks so funny.

I

love these funny vapes.

I need to get like a glass of scotch or

whiskey as well.

This might be funnier than the pipe thing.

Oh, it smells nice.

Smells like fruit.

Yeah, well, I just— as a very lonely,

isolated person, I see people having fun

and socializing outside, it makes me feel

sad.

So sorry me feeling sad triggers you,

idiot.

Ooh, look,

finest Cuban cigar.

This one's easier to, to like put the

juice thing in because it's like a

capsule.

You just screw it on, I think.

Already smells like juice.

Where do you suck it from?

Look at this.

People who smoke cigars are like really

pompous.

I saw a video on YouTube.

It's— the whole channel is like rich guy

stuff with his suit and his Italian

leather shoes and his finest cigar.

And he goes like to these pompous rich

shops in London.

Shut up, Daniel.

Is there sound?

I can't hear sound.

Why can't I hear sound?

The sound's coming out from the

microphone.

Testing, can you still hear me?

Shut up, Daniel.

You shut up.

Okay, I changed the speakers to— is it

still— hello, hello?

Yeah, it's still coming from

Yeah, there's this channel.

It's like an American guy and he thinks

he's from the 1950s, like one of those LA

noir people.

And he goes around in London.

One of his videos went viral.

He went to a cigar shop and then he's like

sitting there with the cigar shop owner

and then they're enjoying a fine cigar and

they're like talking about how to smoke it

properly.

And how to light it.

It took him like 5 minutes to light it.

They get, they get a little match and they

start burning the edges, and then they,

they only light it bit by bit.

This is pretty funny to watch.

How do I turn it on?

How do you charge it?

There's no, like, plug on it.

Maybe I'll read the instructions.

I kept having a dream where I was smoking

a cigar and it tasted really good, and

then I woke up really wanting to have a

cigar, even though I've never had one in

my life.

How are the stocks doing?

Hmm, well, I— my shorts are not doing well

because bloody Jerome Powell didn't say

anything to crash the market, which I was

hoping he would.

He basically said nothing, and then the

markets rallied, and then my shorts got

wrecked.

So On the short side, not doing well.

On the long side, not really doing that

much either.

It's just kind of not really doing much.

Okay, how do you turn this on?

Place the cartomizer— the cartomizer

flavor onto the USB battery.

Remove rubber cap and inhale.

You can charge the battery with a device

that has a USB port.

Yeah, but there's no plug.

Oh, oh,

USB.

Do I plug the cigar into my laptop?

I think

Oh, it's coming out!

Did you see it?

The end lights up like it's, like it's on

fire.

Did you see the end?

Did you see that?

Look at the end of it.

I like it.

You don't have to press a button.

And then you don't have to like unscrew it

and fiddle around.

Remember all the problems I had with the

pipe vape?

Having to unscrew it, put the liquid in,

put the coil thing inside of it.

This looks so funny.

Not much vapor comes out.

You gotta suck more.

No, I can't inhale it, it makes me cough.

How much was it?

I think it was only about £20,

not really expensive like the pipe one.

Doesn't say what flavors these are.

Did I add the juice?

Yeah.

Do you think I can accept this donation?

It says, JEWs eat fore skins.

I don't think that's safe.

I don't know if I like this one more than

the pipe.

Finest Cuban cigar.

Looks quite good, doesn't it?

Is it made in China?

Probably the pipe one was made in

China.

It's called ekaiser.co.uk.

Maybe it's not.

Oh, it is.

Yeah, made in China, designed in Oxford

and Berlin.

Why do they make everything in China?

Seems weird.

I'm gonna try washing my face every day to

not get pimples, and I'm gonna try

drinking more water.

Gotta try and

Be a bit more hygienic, I guess.

Still got my pasta.

I put mayonnaise in it yesterday,

but the mayonnaise dried up.

Mayonnaise is all gone now.

Do you like my Japan scene?

I'm not sure what I can do with this.

I wish I had a green screen.

It's a nice picture, isn't it?

Nice and purple.

What if bugs get in it?

There's no bugs in my place.

I almost got a green screen when I was

back home, decided not to.

You can get ones that attach to the back

of your chair and it's like a foldable

one.

Be pretty funny.

How do I do it?

You go on to filters

and then

Just not doing it.

Oh, you click this.

That looks weird.

I look

like a ghost.

Wow.

Oh wow,

do

you like this one?

That's quite nice.

I got— oh yeah, do you remember these,

these other things I had before I left?

Where is it?

Yeah, remember this?

I was planning video titles for

Manchester— no, for London.

This was back when I was still going to

meet Man— I mean, Essex Girl.

Good times.

I was going to go to London and then I was

like trying to think of Video, video

ideas.

I mean, I guess this did come true, didn't

it?

Apart from I went to Manchester instead.

It's funny, my trolling clickbait titles

seem to unfortunately come true a lot of

the time.

What other pictures do I have?

Hopefully I don't have porn.

I got that thumbnail for my maid cafe

video.

Do you remember this?

She's cute.

For some reason, my maid cafe video has

like 2K views now from external sources.

I clicked on the websites that are linking

it.

So 2 Japanese, random Japanese news

websites, like

Websites that have articles about Japan,

they embedded my maid cafe video, gave me

like 2,000 views.

Very random.

My new girlfriend.

Oh, she's so sweet.

You could do so many weird things with

that.

Oh my God.

I should get a picture of Chihiro so it

looks like we're together.

You can get really creepy with this

Streamlabs stuff.

Oh, my lips.

Oh, it looks like I've got disease.

Chihiro didn't react to my video.

She didn't even message me saying, Daniel,

can you stop using me for, for views?

She doesn't even care.

Anymore.

She doesn't even care.

She should make a video on her channel

like, why I don't want to get back with

Daniel.

I thought she wanted views.

I want to do some clickbait like She

doesn't love me anymore, or she blocked

me.

I can make Japan.

Come to me.

Other pictures.

I got a bunch of maid cafe girls I was

downloading for thumbnails.

And you got this one too.

She's not that cute though.

She's okay.

I like the hair mainly.

I think most of my attraction to Japanese

girls is like 65% the hairstyle, and

without the hairstyle, a lot of the

cuteness would not exist.

She looks okay.

I'd marry her.

I mean, if my wife looked like that, then

I wouldn't leave her.

Oh, I got a forest as well.

This one's nice.

What's that?

Video capture device.

I

need to get back to Japan.

I need a new Japanese girlfriend.

Filters.

Oh no, my face gone black again.

So what do you think of this mic?

Do you think it's better than the Blue

Yeti?

Oh, what?

Kerry's leaving?

Okay, see you later.

Oh wow, look, my face

is like a forest.

Game capture, video capture, image.

I watched CDawg's 1-hour video about him

making a yaoi manga voice acting thing.

Can't believe I watched the whole thing.

Damn, that guy's like really

fussy about the mic audio quality of the

voice actors.

I thought a lot of the voice actors' sound

quality sounded fine.

He was like, no recording on your phone.

Or no, you got a Blue Yeti Snowball.

That's rubbish.

You need XLR.

Sounds the same to me.

That CDawgConner guy.

Yeah, he's pretty good at voice acting,

but voice acting is so cringe.

The manga anime voice acting in English is

so lame.

It's like, oh, hey, Tomomi.

Do you like banana?

I don't know, it's just like so

over-exaggerated, overdramatic,

like Pokémon kind of.

I guess it has to be, doesn't it?

I couldn't do it, it's just embarrassing.

Embarrassing.

This one looks creepy.

I'm in the

forest.

Oh, my teeth look black.

I'm finally getting back into the mood to

be on camera because the stupid pimples

are going away now.

Such a difference in like your mood when

you get pimples.

You just don't want to be seen.

I feel so much better.

I like this one because you can't even see

my face.

See, you really need a green screen to,

um, do the colors properly.

I guess I could, I could crop the sides a

bit more.

Uh, how do I do that?

Edit, Transform, Left.

Yeah, I can squeeze it.

Down a bit,

but I can only do it in like a square

shape.

Now Anime Man's like best friends with

PewDiePie.

They do a livestream together playing

games.

I bet PewDiePie is all thinking, Oh,

because me and Marzia, we want to move to

Japan whenever it opens.

We need Japanese YouTuber friends.

And then PewDiePie probably just like

search on YouTube Japanese

YouTuber and Anime Man probably pops right

up.

Anime Man is like perfect friend for

PewDiePie if PewDiePie wants to move to

Japan and have like Japanese

YouTuber friends.

Oh God, I can just imagine PewDiePie moves

to Japan and then he's like on Trash Talk.

Podcast and becomes friends with Connor

and that other guy.

Oh my god, what if PewDiePie collabs with

Chris Broad?

My worst nightmare.

All my enemies.

I can just see it now.

Next, PewDiePie is gonna make like a load

of Japan videos, isn't he, when he moves

there?

And he's gonna collab with all the big

Japan vloggers.

Like Chris Anime Man.

They don't know you exist.

No, PewDiePie knows me.

Elvis said— Elvis said when he met

PewDiePie, they talked about me.

Bet you're jealous.

PewDiePie watched my videos.

Elvis said PewDiePie said it's

entertaining, but it's really weird how he

bashes his significant other on videos.

Yeah, well, that's the only way I got

views, wasn't it?

That was like how I got attention.

Otherwise no one would give a shit about

me.

So now I'm just starting to think, what

can I do now?

I need to get like back in the hate

watchers' minds.

The last video did really well.

It got like 2K views more than the pier

video.

And I thought the pier video did pretty

well.

But yeah, it's kind of sad because it kind

of means I need Chihiro to get views.

But yeah, I reckon if I made like more

stupid videos about the marriage with my

ex-wife, I could get them to keep

clicking.

Plus I got amazing CPM on it because I

made the video 15 minutes long, pure

talking, and I got an average of 6 minutes

50 seconds watch retention.

And I put 3 mid-roll ads in before the

6-minute mark.

So that's like 4 ads.

Gave me an amazing CPM of like $14.

And now I've kind of realized that the CPM

is not just calculated by the topic of the

video, it's also calculated by the number

of mid-roll ads that are in it

in the time frame of the watch retention.

So my other videos were not making much

money, and I was wondering why, why is my

CPM so low recently?

It's because I've been making them 8

minutes long, very short, And people are

only watching them for like 3 minutes,

which is good because it's like 40% of the

video.

Percentage-wise is great.

Minutes-wise is not great because it's

only 3 minutes and I only put one

mid-roll.

So it was getting like half the CPM of

what I used to get.

Yeah, I only just figured it out that

putting more ads, getting them to watch it

for longer with more ads in it makes the

CPM go up.

I didn't know it was like that.

I thought the CPM was just based off of

the topic.

So now my whole mentality to video

creating has shifted towards I should make

longer videos where I'm just talking, like

no cooking stuff, no rubbish at the end,

and get them to watch it as long as

possible.

6 minutes is great.

I could put like 4 ads in between 6

minutes.

The new video only got like 11K views, but

it's gonna make like $70, which is great.

How long have I haven't had a shower?

I had a shower yesterday.

My hair's still looking good, so I didn't

have one today.

I think I can go without a shower for one

day before my hair looks greasy.

I'd like to put this cam by the window so

you get like a— let's do that.

I need to move the table.

Closer.

You see that strength?

Then you get a view of the outside.

Does

that— no, that's— that window is not good.

I'm going to move the table over

Okay.

Oh no,

this thing's getting stuck under it.

What is this?

Oh, it's the bottom of the table.

Why is my bum wet?

I think like

My bum's leaking.

I put this here.

What do you think?

Oh, that's good!

Oh wow,

oh wow, that looks really cool!

Wow,

that looks really good!

Okay,

now I've got the table here instead of in

the corner.

It's kind of weird.

Do my legs look really skinny?

My legs look so weird,

like Bambi legs.

This view looks so weird.

You can have this angle or this angle.

I should get another webcam for the view,

and then this webcam can be for like the

entire view of the room.

Do you prefer the view outside, or do you

prefer like this like

whole view of myself.

Prefer the view outside.

Hmm,

but this one has like more of a—

you get to see see what I see.

That's the view.

Or I could do this.

Wait, how do I do this?

Get another video capture device here.

Oh, I'm a genius.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, it's a bit gray today.

The sky is a bit rubbish.

I feel like getting another webcam now.

I like having these scenes like this,

transitional.

Raise the ISO.

Hmm.

Also, this camera's flipped.

It looks weird.

Oh no, this one's not flipped, but this

one is flipped.

Video capture device,

configure video

exposure or brightness.

How about that?

That's brightness, contrast,

saturation.

Brightness does this.

Exposure.

Oh wow, I just nuked Manchester.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that looks

much better now.

Why did it look so dark before?

Before it was like that, wasn't it?

Well,

that looks way better.

My eyesight's so bad I can't even see my

laptop screen.

Yeah, this one, -9.

-8 is too bright, -9 is pretty good.

The, the sky is a bit overblown.

How do I fix that?

Backlight, composition, gain,

hue.

Oh no, it's going green.

Contrast, brightness.

I think that looks pretty good.

Yeah, that's what the sky looks like.

It's just cloudy today.

Pretty happy with this livestream setup.

It's getting good.

Now we can enjoy the view together.

Or you can see me, all of you.

What else can we do?

I need to set up more scenes.

Maybe if I angle it down a little bit.

How's that?

You can see the curvature of the Earth.

The curvature.

Is that actually how it looks?

Um, yeah, pretty much.

That is pretty accurate.

Can you make a webcam to go behind your

laptop?

No, I don't have any more lap— I mean, I

don't have any more webcams.

Did I go shopping?

Yes, I just came back.

That's nice.

I like it.

What's this text?

I bought more pasta.

I bought minced beef, kidney beans.

Pasta sauce,

and I got bread, ham, mayonnaise,

sausage rolls.

There's actually an AMC theater right—

that building right at the bottom is Odeon

and AMC Cinema.

Might go to the cinema one day.

I need to start doing things, don't I?

The reason why my life's so boring and

depressing is because I don't actually do

anything.

I should just try and do stuff like go to

cinema, maybe do something that gets me

out of the house.

Anything, even if it's boring.

I might try and make a goal

to do stuff outside more.

Odeon Manchester, see what movies they

have.

They've got 2 films.

Candyman and Free Guy.

Wow, they sound shit.

The Suicide Squad.

Isn't that a really old movie?

Get vaccinated.

Yeah, I should book it.

It'll give me something to do.

People just do nothing.

Big in Japan.

620.

What's that?

Looks stupid.

How's that?

It looks like a stupid YouTube vlog?

How's that a movie?

People Just Do Nothing, big in Japan 2021

comedy.

Since the end of their pirate radio

station, life has been quiet for the

corrupt FM Boys, but everything is about

to change.

News reaches them that one of their songs

has been used on a popular game show in

Japan.

They've made it!

Their music is reaching hundreds of

thousands of people.

It's finally time for them to enjoy the

fame and fortune they've always known

they've deserved.

That sounds rubbish.

That sounds so stupid.

Oh, it's got that stupid guy who's on the

British Airlines commercial.

You know that British Airlines commercial

they play when you get on the plane and

it's got Joanna Lumfrey or whatever her

name is and a bunch of British celebrities

doing the put your seatbelt on thing.

I hate that.

That's why I don't like British Airways.

They always play that stupid thing telling

you how to put your seatbelt on.

What other movies?

G.I.

Joe Snake Eyes.

A tenacious loner who is welcomed into an

ancient Japanese— why is it all Japan?

Welcomed into an ancient Japanese clan

called the Arashikage after saving the

life of the heir apparent.

Upon arrival in Japan, the Arashikage

teaches Snake Eyes: The Ways of the Ninja

Warrior.

This sounds so stupid.

Sounds so lame.

Who the hell's G.I.

Joe?

Teaches him the ways of the ninja warrior.

Make me vomit in my mouth.

Black Widow.

Oh, it's one of those stupid Marvel

movies.

I hate Marvel action hero superhero

movies.

Bootleg movie livestream on Twitch?

No, that'll get me banned and sued.

Oh, what if I sneak into Odeon and

livestream it?

Don't Breathe.

A blind veteran must use his military

training to save a young orphan from a

group of thugs who break into his house.

Why do they sound so rubbish?

Old.

A thriller about a family on a tropical

holiday who discover that the secluded

beach where they are relaxing for a few

hours is somehow causing them to age

rapidly, reducing their entire lives into

a single day.

Wow, that's so sad.

Censor.

A British film censor links a disturbing

horror movie to her sister's mysterious

disappearance.

Reminiscence.

A private investigator of the mind

Navigates the darkly alluring world of the

past by helping his clients access lost

memories.

His life is forever changed as he uncovers

a violent conspiracy while trying to solve

the mystery.

Blah, blah, blah.

Whatever.

These all sound rubbish.

I want a movie where loser nerd travels to

Japan, discovers he has the ability to

stop time.

He uses his power to molest Japanese girls

on the train until he encounters his

archenemy who has the power to also stop

time.

They have an epic showdown in Shibuya

crosswalk.

I don't know, that sounds like a better

movie.

It sounds like my fantasy.

What do you think I would do if I could

stop time?

I don't even have to say it, do I?

I will stop the Taliban with my little

finger.

Oh yeah, the market had like a little mini

flash crash because of that explosion.

I should have sold my shorts then.

I thought it was going to crash more.

This vape's not great, to be honest.

You gotta suck really hard.

And then not even much comes out.

Look,

you gotta suck really long.

You can't just do like a little suck, then

nothing comes out.

Chihiro got really upset when I got the

vape because she has asthma and she— I

don't know if it affects people who have

asthma if there's like vape vapor floating

about.

And she said it was really lame, like what

kids do.

She kept saying, dasai.

Or kakko warui, she kept saying, meaning

like, looks lame.

I only get apple juice so I look like I'm