dealing with hate comments on youtube

I slept all day today. I woke up at 9 PM.

I don't know how that happened. I was

playing The Witcher 3 until 9 AM, and then

I woke up at 1 PM, and then I thought I'd

sleep a few more hours, and then I heard a

knocking on my door, and it was my dad

asking me if I was going to work, and it

was 9 PM. It's half past 9 now, so I

slept 12 hours tonight— today.

I went to work, came home, went to bed.

Now it's back to work.

I didn't get any time to do anything I

wanted today. Wanted today? Wanted to do

today. I can't even speak properly. I

didn't even get to make a video. I don't

even know how that happened. Usually I

wake up at 4 o'clock. I woke up at 9

today. At least

hopefully I won't be sleepy at work

tonight. If I'm sleepy at work tonight, I

don't— I don't even know how that happens.

How can I be sleepy when I've slept 12

hours? Can't believe it. I woke up at 9

o'clock. Now I have to go straight to

work. I went— I came home, I played

Witcher for 3 hours, then went to bed for

12 hours, and now I have to go back to

work again. It's just like I'm at work all

the time. Let's go.

And people don't really seem to be

interested in the videos I make if it's

like video game related. So I don't know,

I guess my main audience is interested in

my vlogs and not really interested in

gaming. I can't see a bloody thing. See

you later. You know, I don't think it's

such a bad idea to, to wake up and then go

to work because what I've been doing is

been waking up at 2 o'clock

in the afternoon Then just sitting around

doing internet stuff for 8 hours and then

going to work. And then when I'm at work,

I feel really tired and sleepy. And then I

come home and then I go to sleep after

about 2 hours. But most people, what they

do is they go to sleep, they wake up,

then they go to work, and then they come

home and then they relax, don't they? But

that's not how I've been doing it. I've

been doing it the other way around. Go to

work, come home, sleep, and then relax,

and then go to work.

It's just very— I'm not

sure how to do this. So it's fine waking

up at 8 PM and then having something to

eat and then going to work at 10, but then

I don't have any daylight to make a video.

It's just pitch black outside. I guess I

could do it in my room, but At 8 o'clock

my family's home and I don't feel— I don't

really feel comfortable making a video

when my family's around. I need to be

alone to feel comfortable doing it.

I guess I could do it when I get back from

work, but even at 6 AM it's still

pretty dark. I could do it 8 AM or 9

AM when my parents have gone to work.

I don't know. Freezing.

Look at that house, isn't it nice?

Orangey glow in the background. I feel

great right now. I feel so good. I don't

feel tired even in the slightest. Waking

up at 9 PM has its benefits. Before, I was

waking up in the afternoon at around 3 PM,

then I'd sit around for about 7 hours just

playing games. You can't really see me,

can you? Oh well. Well, I was just sitting

around playing games and watching YouTube

for 7 hours, and then I'd go to work, and

by the time it got to around 4 or 5 AM, I

was just exhausted. I was just so sleepy,

I just wanted to go to bed. And I kept

feeling so sleepy, and like,

I couldn't concentrate, and all I wanted

to do was go home. And I don't think

that's a good way. I mean, most people

don't Most people don't wake up and

then wait for 8 hours. That was someone's

light turning on. Most people, they wake

up, they go to work, for example,

for an example, 8 hours, and then they

come home, and then they might relax,

have dinner, watch TV in the evening,

then go to bed, and then wake up and then

go to work. But what I was doing was I was

waking up, doing my relaxing bit, sitting

around doing stuff that I like to do, and

then I was going to work at the end of my

day. So no wonder I was so tired and

exhausted while I was at work, because I

had already been up 8 hours. I believe it

should be 8 hours at work, 8 hours

relaxing, resting, and then— ow— and then

8 hours sleep. I think that's a good

balance. But yesterday,

I don't know what happened. I was playing

The Witcher 3, which I need to talk to you

about a bit later because that would just

go on forever. I was playing The Witcher 3

for a few hours until 9 AM, and then

I decided to go to bed at 9 AM. But it

takes me a bit to get to sleep, so I

reckon that I fell asleep at around 10 AM.

But it was so noisy, like I kept hearing

noises. My dad was outside using his

chainsaw. Cutting up firewood.

My mum was shouting like she always does,

and I kept waking up like 1 o'clock, 2

o'clock, and I woke up at 3 o'clock, and I

looked at my clock and I thought, no,

it's still a bit too early, I'll sleep

until 5-ish, and then I went back to

sleep. And then I just heard this knocking

on my door. I was like, what, what's going

on? My dad opened the door, he said,

Daniel, are you going to work? And I said,

what time is it? He said, 9. 9? What? You

must be kidding me. I can't believe I

slept until 9 PM. That has never happened

before. It was so dangerous because if my

dad didn't knock on my door— if it weren't

for my dad, I would have slept until God

knows what time. I might have woken up at

1 AM. Then the pool guy would have been

ringing me up trying to find out what the

hell's going on, and I wouldn't even be

able to have a shower or get ready. I

would have had to run out the door.

Luckily that didn't happen. I asked my dad

to wake me up at 7 o'clock in future if

that happens again. Then the poor guy that

said it actually happened to him once

before, he said he slept until 1 AM and

they kept phoning him trying to find out

where he was, but he was so, so such in

such a deep sleep he didn't even hear the

phone ringing and Yeah, he just got a

warning. He overslept until

1 AM when he's supposed to start at 10 PM.

That's not great, especially when there's

2 people working overnight and you're

working with someone else and they just

suddenly don't show up. Oh, my hand is

freezing. It's really cold today,

but I don't really feel cold. Well,

I do feel a bit cold. Outside it was all

frost. Everywhere was frosty. It might— I

wouldn't be surprised if it snowed,

actually. It feels really cold. It's like

in its— in the minuses. The sky is getting

blue, but I just feel really awake

right now, and it's really nice.

I'm not sure what time to go to bed today.

Maybe I'll go to bed at around 10 AM and

then try and wake up at 6 PM. I think

that's quite good because I like to sit

downstairs for a few hours, at least have

dinner, talk to my family for a bit,

rather than just waking up at 9, having a

shower, and then rushing out to work.

It'll be nice to at least be able to rest

a little bit, like an hour or 2 before I

have to go. Also, I tried

using my Android Pay again and it got

declined again. Hold on, I need to change

my hands. Oh, my hand's freezing.

Hold on, when I just come around here,

it's going to be a bit lighter. So I tried

using my Android Pay today and it got

declined again. I don't know why it's

getting declined because 4 days ago I used

it and it was fine. I used it twice and

there's no problem. And then the other

day, uh, hold on.

Hey look, you can actually see me. This

isn't too bad, is it? So, um, yeah, the

other day I used Android Pay for the first

time ever and it was fine. And then today

and yesterday it got declined. And

yesterday got declined, it was kind of

embarrassing because I didn't have enough

money to pay for my items. And the

Bangladesh guy, he kindly gave me a £10

note. And actually, one— I won £10

on a scratch card yesterday, so that was

good. I didn't have to pay back— I didn't

have to Um, spend any of my own money. I

still have to pay him back £5, so I need

to remember that. But yesterday I

bought— yeah, I paid for a screen

recording program called Bandicam, which I

heard about, so I decided it would be a

good idea to buy that. And then I realized

you press Windows key and G while you play

a game on Windows 10, and there's a screen

recording option that works perfectly.

And it's absolutely free. So I just spent

£30 on Bandicam when I didn't have to.

And then my bank restricted my card

because after that I tried to buy The

Witcher 3 on Steam for £25 and

it kept saying, Steam has— your bank has

declined your payment. And I tried on a

different website, GOG.com, which I've

never used before. It was actually half

price on GOG.com. £12.50. I tried on GOG

and it still didn't work, so I phoned up

my bank. They said that they restricted my

card because I bought the software off

Bandicam. How stupid is that? I can't even

go onto a website and buy something

without my bloody bank restricting or

locking my card down. It's so frustrating.

And then I had to spend half an hour on

the phone to Nationwide trying to find out

what had happened. They put me on hold for

about half an hour. It was so frustrating.

Can you just not restrict my card,

please? Just, just because I buy something

on a website. But they unrestricted my

card and I managed to buy The Witcher 3 on

GOG.com, which I'd never used before. And

I'm really glad I did because it was half

price, so much cheaper than Steam. Maybe I

was just lucky because, because it was on

half-price sale on GOG but not on Steam.

And I downloaded and installed the game

and And I played it yesterday. I really

enjoyed it. I don't want to talk about it

now though, maybe in a minute. Um,

so they unrestricted my card, so I thought

everything was fine, but then I went to

use my Android Pay, which is linked to

that debit card, and it said declined

today as well and yesterday, and I don't

know why. My bank's unrestricted my card.

This shouldn't be a problem, right? I

don't see what the problem is. My card's

working fine at the store. I used my card

in the card reader and it was fine.

Anyway, it's not really a big deal. I can

just use my card, but I really wanted to

use Android Pay because it's so cool. I

love being able to pay for things using my

phone. It just feels so futuristic. Like,

you get your phone out, you press the pay

by card, and you just hover your phone

over the card reader. It feels— I feel

really cool doing it, like I'm in the

future. Ah, it's just a shame it didn't

work. It would have been so nice. This is

really embarrassing. Yesterday everyone

was kind of watching and then I just said,

it's not working, I don't have any money,

and I had already eaten what I had paid

for. So what I do is I eat stuff over the

night and then I keep all the wrappers in

my pocket, and then when it comes to the

morning and I have to go home, I scan all

the items and then pay it.

So yeah.

And I feel like I've been a bit unfair

with the Nepal guy. I know I moan a lot

about him being too fussy or nitpicky or

bossy, but I can kind of see where he's

coming from. Because if I get fired

because I keep making these mistakes that

I keep making, then they're gonna have to

find someone new and he's gonna have to

train them again, isn't he? I asked him,

how many times have you had to train

someone up? He said he's had to train up

like 4 or 5 guys. And they all got fired

because they kept doing what I'm doing,

like making tiny mistakes. Like they keep

consistently making the same mistakes,

like just little things. For example, I

don't stock up, I don't tidy up the wine

racks properly because I didn't check all

the wine to see if there was some wine

that can be put, put in the shop. But I

just find the wine really difficult

because there's so many different brands

of wine. They have stupid Italian and

French names like Verdaccio or Merlot.

I can't remember all those really long

names. And all the bottles, they look kind

of similar. Like, some of them— there's

this one called Echo Falls, and there's

lots of different types of Echo Falls,

but the label looks really similar. And

it's really tricky trying to find the

bottles in the storeroom and try and match

up what's missing. In the shop. I don't

really have a good way of doing it yet.

I've only done it like 3 times. Usually

the other guy does it, so it's not really

fair to, to say stuff like, you're not

doing it properly, Daniel, why aren't you

doing it properly? I just hate the way he

speaks sometimes. Like, it feels really

irritating. Like, he says, don't do this.

Like, the way he says it is just so

irritating. It's just he doesn't know how

to speak in a gentle way like a normal

English person would. He just speaks in a

very blunt, abrasive way, which can get—

kind of gets on my nerves sometimes. And I

just feel like after he says something

like, you have to do it properly, Daniel,

I'm like, fuck you. That's what my feeling

is. That's what my reaction is. I don't

actually say that to him. Yeah, I do

actually feel a bit, um, like I can

understand where he's coming from. So it

is frustrating if you're having to train

people and they keep making these easy

mistakes that can— that aren't difficult

to fix. So you have to keep training up

people, keep teaching them the same things

over and over. And it felt kind

of nice knowing that he didn't want me to

get fired so that he wouldn't have to

train someone up. It felt a bit like he

wanted me, not in like a sexual way.

But I don't know, sometimes I feel like

people don't like me and they'd rather me

get fired so they don't have to work with

me, if that makes sense. So it only took—

I've only been making this video for about

10 minutes and it went from pitch black

to— actually, you can see me now, can you?

It's kind of strange making a vlog at 6

AM in the morning, but I quite like it.

Everyone's sleeping, so I don't have to

worry about people being around. I think

I'm gonna do this. Do it like this from

now on. Wake up instead of doing a

video, instead of making the vlog in the

afternoon like I usually do. I think I'm

just gonna wake up really late, like 6 PM,

and then sit around doing internet stuff

and then go to work and then come home at

6 AM and then make the video in the

morning. And that way I'm fully rested

before I go to work instead of 8 hours

before I go to work. I think It's gonna

work out a lot better like this. I just

feel so energetic right now. I really

don't feel like sleeping. What am I gonna

do now? I guess I could play The Witcher.

So yeah, we can talk about The Witcher

now. I was really skeptical about this

game. Like, I don't usually like games

like The Witcher, like long RPGs that take

a long time. I, I lose patience. So I

haven't lost patience yet. Well, it's only

been a day, so I can't really tell if I'm

gonna lose patience or not. I don't like

Assassin's Creed style combat games where

it's like a third-person game and then the

combat basically resolves around— revolves

around smashing the attack button over and

over, occasionally pressing the

counterattack or the guard button, and

then all the enemies, they're like, they

surround you and they just like walk

around you waiting to attack you. It's

like they're waiting their turn to die or

fight you. Why don't they just all attack

at the same time? And then there's like

magic spells, like there's different magic

attacks. You have a shield, you have a

fireball, there's a confuse and a

knockback, kind of like a Jedi. It does

feel just like being a Jedi. You have

spells and you have like Force push. You

even have like a mind control thing.

And it does

feel a lot like playing Assassin's Creed,

like running around, jumping, rolling

around. I don't really see how it's

different to Assassin's Creed. There's not

really much parkour. You can't scale up

buildings like in Uncharted 4. You can to

a degree, but it's very limiting, the jump

button. And what else? It kind

of reminded me when I was playing Fable.

I know it's nothing really like Fable,

but there's something about it that

reminds me of Fable. Maybe it's the

English accents, maybe it's the fantasy

setting, maybe it's like all the swords

and the magic. Maybe it's like the— it has

like a dark sense of humor a bit. Like,

it's like sexual stuff in it that you

don't really find much in games because

they're very aimed towards kids. They like

to stay away from sexual stuff. But

straight away from the first opening

scene, you see a woman's ass, which is

nice. It's very strange, like the skin,

the amount of detail they put into the

skin for the CGI scenes.

The opening scenes, they put all freckles

and marks on the skin. Like, some people

look overly freckly, like they put too

much freckles on. No one has that many

freckles on them. And they look really

realistic, the characters. Like, you can

really believe that they're actual people.

In Skyrim and Fallout 3,

I never felt like the characters or the

NPCs were actual people. They just seemed

so robotic, the way they moved, the way

they talked. When you talk to an NPC on

Fallout or Skyrim, the camera changes,

doesn't it? So it's like this, like it's

dead center. It centers them dead center

in the center, and they just like stare

straight into your eyes. It's like, like

right into the camera. It's like they're

staring at you, and it felt really weird.

But in, in, um, The Witcher, it's kind of

like Mass Effect where when you're talking

to someone, they're not staring straight

at you, they're staring like to the side.

Like, it looks like they're looking at

your character, like off-center, not at

you, the player. So I like that.

It makes characters seem more realistic.

And the faces— I haven't played like a

modern game for such a long time. I'm kind

of out of touch to what modern-day

graphics look like. I'm so used to games

where the characters don't look that

expressive or that detailed. And the

graphics do help immerse you. It makes— it

does help a lot to make you believe that

they're real people in like this world,

even though it's not really real, it's

just a video game. I'm currently using my

graphics card right now, it's a GTX 750

Ti. It's quite old, it's like I think it

came out 2014, but it still runs the game

pretty well. The graphics can be set to

about medium. I can't really get good

frame rates at high graphics, so I really

want to buy a new graphics card now. I was

thinking of getting the GTX 1060. A lot of

people recommended it, and it's not really

that expensive. It's like £260,

and I think I could get a lot better

performance out of it. I really want to

bump up— I really want to bump up the

graphics on it because it looks like such

a really nice-looking game, and it's kind

of a waste to have it on medium, I feel

like. I feel like the game would be so

much better if I could turn the graphics

up a bit. So I think I'm going to wait

until my next payday and then I'm going to

buy a decent graphics card.

The thing that confuses me about graphics

cards is that you can look up GTX 1060 Ti

on Amazon and there'd be all these

different variants sold by different

companies, but they look different. But I

think essentially it's the same graphics

card, isn't it? It's the same card, but

it's like in a different housing. Like

they have the different companies have

different numbers of fans, different

length of the plastic outer casing.

My computer case, the actual tower, isn't

really a tower. I have a cube. I think

it's called an ITX case, but it's kind

of a strange shape. It's very constricted

inside. It's not spacious at all, and I

think if I get like a really long. Card

lengthwise, it's— it might not fit in. So

I need to get a tall, fat graphics card.

So I need to— maybe I should get my tape

measure. I don't actually have a tape

measure. Maybe my dad does. So I don't

know if I'm going to make like a video

playing— what's it called? I keep wanting

to call it Skyrim— The Witcher. I don't

know if I'll do that because when I play

games, I like to concentrate on the game.

I like to I don't really like to talk when

I play games. I like to focus on what I'm

doing, and, uh, if I have to talk at the

same time as playing, I think that'd be

kind of difficult. Like, I won't be able

to focus fully on the game, and I won't be

able to focus fully on talking, so I won't

be able to do either things very well. So

that's why I don't really— don't really

feel like I'd be any good at doing like a

let's play video. Or maybe I could just

make a short one showing you things that I

like instead of just talking about it.

I nearly fell in the pond. I just walked

down that slope and it's covered in ice

and it's all slippery, and I nearly, I

nearly ran into the pond. I had to run,

otherwise I would have slipped over.

Luckily I didn't fall into the pond.

So there's something else that's been on

my mind A few nights ago, this guy, he

wrote a really long comment on my YouTube

channel on one of my videos, and it was

very negative. He was basically saying he

was very frustrated. Like, he said that

he's been watching my videos since early

this year, and he just, he just got angry

because he said you shouldn't be buying

stuff on Amazon, you should be paying back

your parents. Well, I've already paid back

my parents their money, and I don't see

what it has anything to do with you. So I

can buy stuff if I want. I work. I work 5

days a week full-time. I can spend the

money how I wish. I don't see why I need

your permission. And then he said he's

been watching my videos since early this

year and I'm not making any progress. I'm

going backwards. How is getting a job

going backwards? I haven't had a job for 5

years. I've been unemployed. I've been

claiming on job centers. I've been so

depressed where I couldn't even bring

myself to look for a job. And now I have a

job that I really enjoy doing. And it's

going well. I don't see how that's going

backwards. What else did he say? Then he

said something like, 80% of 16-year-olds

have achieved more than I have in my life.

That's great. I don't really care what 80%

of 16— I don't even care what 100% of

16-year-olds have achieved in their life.

It has nothing to do with me. Everyone's

different. I've— I bet I've achieved more

than some 30-year-olds have achieved in

their life. At least I'm not a murderer or

a drug addict Or substance abuser.

You know, there's always going to be

people out there who have achieved more

than you. Life isn't about comparing

yourself to other people all the time.

It's about finding happiness, finding what

you love doing, not being in pain, not

starving or freezing. That's what life is

about. It's not about, hmm, I wonder what

80% of other 16-year-olds have achieved

with their life. Oh, they've achieved more

than me. Well, I guess I failed at life.

Better jump off a building and kill

myself. And then he said something like,

your channel is shit. Okay, I know

it's not an amazing channel, but it's not

exactly a tiny channel that no one

watches. Some people watch it, and that's

what makes it worth doing. Even if no one

watched it anyway, I'd still do it anyway.

I mean, why not? Why not? I don't know.

When I saw that comment, When I saw that

comment, I was in such a good mood and

really happy that there's nothing you

could say to me right now that would make

me upset. I am immune. I am immune

to criticism, negative comments, and

trolling right now. So you can give it

your best shot. You can call me every name

under the sun. You can criticize all my

life decisions. I really don't care

because I don't care what random people on

the internet think about me. It's

completely irrelevant. It doesn't affect

me at all what— if you think— what— about

how you think about me. There's just too

many people in the world. You can't get

everyone in the world to like you. It's a

waste of time. Some people will like you,

some people won't. It doesn't really—

there's no point stressing or worrying

over it. There's no point with arguing

with people who who disagree with you.

There's no point stressing yourself out

over things like, oh, oh, are they gonna

leave me a negative comment? What am I

gonna do? I'm gonna shut down my YouTube

channel and stop making videos. Yeah, if

you want to see that comment, you can see

it for yourself. I think it's on the video

titled I Bought Windows 10.

No, Windows 10. No, I Trying

Windows 10 for the first time ever. It's

on there. I decided to approve the comment

because it did look like he spent a lot of

time writing the comment, even though the

way he expressed himself was very immature

and childish. I felt like he did— he

has been watching my videos for a long

time. Maybe he has gotten frustrated about

the things I'm doing with my life right

now, but it's just unfortunate.

Maybe it's just time to part ways. I

decided to approve the comment to let

everyone see just because I thought it was

kind of entertaining. And yeah, he also—

I'm pretty sure it was him, but my last 10

videos all have dislikes on them, and I'm

pretty sure it was him that he's just gone

on to all my videos and he's pressed

dislike. I mean, why else would that— why

else would they all have exactly one

dislike? If there's a few dislikes on

every video, then I could understand that

it might be a few different people, but if

it's just one dislike on every video,

then Who else is it gonna be?

Anyway, I think that should do it for

today's video. Oh, look at that, you can

see me now completely, and my hand is

freezing. Let's go inside before I get—

before my hand gets frostbite.